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Join Rem and Alvia as they navigate the joys and perils of adulthood as a married millennial DINK couple in the Philippines, while also trying to break the stigma against the DINK lifestyle or being childless by choice. We tackle challenges like facing adult responsibilities, managing finances, growing careers, breaking generational traumas, generating social impact, cultivating relationships, and determining who should be washing the dishes.
DINKWAP stands for Dual-Income No Kids with a Podcast!
Are you a DINK, SINK, or DINK-curious? Join us at DINK Lifestyle Philippines.
About one month after?
Oh my gosh, Bash, you didn't respect the three month rule.
Did you know that? Did you know that?
What do you mean, Bash?
Bash.
The Dinkwap Show.
So, my
swing from being a good boy to...
It's so far.
It's so far.
It's so far.
Your character development is a bit...
It's a bit...
It's not... because life is not linear.
I thought life is not career.
The Dinkwap
Show.
I
said, I'm not really
going to date.
I said,
Tremont,
I respect you.
Yes, I
respect you.
Because as a John Lloyd fan, I know that.
But it's enough.
It's enough.
No 10.
No 10.
Straight to the face.
the dinkwap show dual income no kids with a podcast
welcome to the des show
this is for this yes
yes and
uh we are your hosts
and their only friend and
this
is
her episode and my
dedicated to to all
the boys to all the boys that's dated during her 20s early
20s
We chose Des because she's so cute.
Des will tell us
about dating in her early
20s.
Alright.
Alright,
go.
So after college.
After the serious boyfriend.
Yes.
So of course, she became my boyfriend for a couple of years.
But after that, I started dating right away.
Right away?
What do you mean right away?
It's good.
About
one month after.
You didn't respect the 3-month rule.
Did
you know that?
Did you know that?
You're only one month old.
To be fair, he was so broken.
He was so broken hearted.
Because in the early 20s, you were from college and you were meeting people.
And
then all of a sudden, he was suddenly serious.
As in, hello, 21
years old, 22.
He was already on a marriage path.
As in that
time, we were talking about getting married, we were talking about getting our own place.
That was the level.
And then we broke up.
So
after that, I felt so lost.
Why did you break up?
He cheated.
Oh, that's it?
He's the one who's very serious and then he cheated.
He's also a big shot.
He wanted to get me married, we were looking for a house and then a girl.
So he cheated.
That's how it is,
guys.
Guys, right? So now
you know the
truth.
Des is not the one who has a problem.
I'm not the red flag here, guys.
That was back then.
So after that, I felt so lost.
They were with Alvia.
So you were always with them?
Yes. Literally.
After I moved to another place.
I was with Alvia the whole
time.
And then, I met some people.
I started dating right away.
I went out, I met this guy.
How
did you meet them?
Parties.
Parties. Okay.
Or
sometimes, not parties, events.
or sometimes for literal toha coffee shop Mila lappin
okay not
even Cassidy by you Eva auto to endemic on the mid-june parties
pero
for some reason Cassidy by a party
third third party after party
but
most
of the guys I met back then as in they asked me out
for
date dinner to get to know each other.
Serious? - In
fairness, I don't know why.
You
look serious. - What brand
do you smell?
I smelled Calvin Klein.
Mature.
And it was
my ex's gift.
That's why.
So I afford it. - Afford.
So I
went out right away after that.
I was just very open to meeting a lot of people.
I felt so lost. Where
do I start?
You had a plan and it just disappeared.
Yes, I was seriously settling down.
But
you really bought in.
Yes, I resigned.
Because he's ready to be a housewife.
I resigned from my job.
I
was
still with him when he was in the grocery store with his wife and driver.
I couldn't
go out without the help of the driver.
I was the first driver
because I
was also a safety person.
I hung out with my family.
I stayed at his house.
It was serious.
You were together for a long time, right?
Two years plus.
I was with him for
the
dating period.
Since college, I was with him for three years.
It was a long
time.
I started dating right away.
I met a lot of people.
But I felt like one of the reasons why I really entertained those guys is because I was lost.
I didn't
know where to start.
I didn't even know what I really wanted at this point.
I
was just really open.
"Okay, ask me out." Okay, fine.
And
Alvia said the truth.
Sometimes, even if you don't
like the guy, We're both on the same stage.
It's like, "Hey, someone asked
me out but it's not that cute." - I think he's okay with it. - Yes.
I have a
friend like that. Legit.
I met him randomly.
We were about to go home.
They were just waiting for a taxi.
A couple of guys and us, the girls, were waiting for a taxi.
I was just talking to them.
And then,
he gave me his business card.
Wow. - He's my...
It's trippy.
It's because he's working but he's not very old.
Maybe
3 or 4 years older than me.
But of course, there's a business card.
It's
a reputable company.
Calling card, okay.
So
he gave it to me.
I didn't give it to him, I gave him a business card.
Because I have a business card and I'm working.
So he contacted me the following day.
Then he asked me out.
I was like, "I'm not that type but the restaurant is delicious." - Game!
See?
See?
Yes.
We can't afford to eat there.
It's expensive.
But I guess you're still exploring.
So we really
didn't know each other. - We didn't know each other.
We didn't know what we wanted to do in life. - We didn't.
So I was
really open.
I dated Filipinos, there were...
Not Filipinos. - Not Filipinos.
There were more non
-Filipinos.
So I guess also because of my line of job in our company, I meet more of them.
It's so different.
But one of...
I was telling Alvia,
one
of the guys who really attacked me, there's this Italian guy.
Very
romantic
and very
gentleman.
And this
guy, we went out at least five times.
But we didn't kiss.
And the
last day…
For an Italian?
Right?
Very gentleman,
we didn't kiss.
I think he didn't leave the Philippines
because he moved.
Because of his job.
He's an expat.
If he
didn't move to another country, I think we have a chance.
Because he's so gentleman.
And he mentioned our parting
kiss.
He kissed my hand.
Oh my God!
That's sweet.
Then
I said, "Marin, and then our first date." He was like, "Can we meet at my place and
then we go to
the restaurant
after?" I
was like, my office was near by,
on the
way.
It was his house.
Because I worked in Pasay.
Then his house was in Makati.
Then I lived
in Mundaluyong.
So technically,
he wasn't a hassle for me.
"Okay, meet us
at your
house." So we met at his house.
When I arrived at his house, we just had wine.
Like one glass of wine, then we went out.
But the pool had petals.
We didn't use the pool, guys.
But there's
a time. - Just relax.
He really set the mood.
PG-13. - Just relax.
PG
-13, I promise.
It's so
romantic.
There's candles and petals in the pool.
Do you want to hear his story and mine?
The
one without the story.
Oh, right.
I told you that I dated a lot of people before.
But
I'll tell you later why
I'm like this.
But one of the guys who talked to me a lot.
And then, we were in the same house.
And he never tried to kiss me.
It was just
like that.
I was
also told by Alvia earlier that there's this guy that I just met because the restaurant was good.
Then after that,
Oh, it's him.
Yes, it's
weird.
Okay, first time we went out.
This is not the Italian
guy.
It's not Italian.
Reveal.
This is Korean.
This
Korean guy.
We met him while waiting for a
taxi.
So...
First dinner, he was okay.
He was friendly.
So when he asked me out, I said, "Okay, let's go out." But it's weird because the moment was so intense.
After we had dinner, he took me to my house.
But before I went downstairs, he kissed me on the face.
I pushed him and said,
"Sorry." - You guys don't look like
that anymore.
No,
that's it.
I guess your first kiss would happen
when there's a moment and a mutual
deeper
feelings.
So, after that, I didn't reply to him anymore.
Because I was like, "I'm
creepy."
Like that?
Literally, right?
For example, I was like this.
I said, "Okay, okay, bye-bye." And before I went down, my neck was already torn.
He was like this.
And then he came up to me.
And then he was like this.
When he was like that, I was
like, "Aww."
Of course,
you were like
that.
Yes.
So, after
that, I didn't reply to
him.
But then, yeah.
The Italian guy.
They're the opposite.
Aren't Koreans conservative?
Yes,
but I'm not.
Maybe not that Korean.
They're not conservative,
by the way.
Really? - Yeah, they're
not.
I was in Korea last year.
No,
they're very expressive.
Oh,
okay. - When
it comes to someone they like.
And especially when it comes to couples.
When they're
a couple, as in, they don't care about
PDA and
everything.
I feel like they're conservative in a way.
If you're not couples.
Because there are a lot of hookups.
Yes.
I don't know.
They're not like that.
Anyway, we're not Korean.
We don't know.
But
at least in my
experience,
it's like that.
It's creepy, sorry.
I'm thinking about the North Koreans.
What are you talking about?
South.
South-Thai.
By the way, South Korean from
Seoul.
So the best
date in your early 20s, X aside, was the Italian guy.
And
the worst was
that Korean guy.
Was that Korean
guy!
He looked like a coward.
Right?
I was scared.
He was in a bad mood.
He didn't have
that kind of mood.
I mean, I
was scared of him. I didn't reply to him after.
But he
wanted to meet again.
And he's like...
You're getting to know each other.
He's already telling stories about his mom.
It was that fast.
It was like, "Wait, maybe there's no spark." - Yeah.
There was no spark.
And I didn't type it.
It's not
like... - The restaurant was delicious.
It was delicious. - The taste was good.
And that time, it was... - It was expensive.
It was expensive.
And
then...
Guys, we really started from the bottom.
We started from eating.
Survival.
Yeah, so of course, there's that.
Of course, he'll
say,
"Let's go to this place. I want to bring you to this place." Okay, free meal.
I told you, I only have my present, my bag.
Because my clothes and makeup came from my sister.
And the dinner.
We're not even
sponsored.
I'll still follow.
So it's like that.
And also, when I was in my early
20s,
I didn't get rejected on dates.
Me too.
Yeah.
You got rejected on everything?
We got rejected on everything.
Even if I didn't want to.
Like, okay.
Number one.
For me, physical attraction is very important.
Of course. - Don't get confused.
Physical attraction
is subjective.
You
know if the person is smart or kind. - True.
And the card, you know the ones who work
there are smart.
And the ones I meet are
more reputable.
I guess because
of my job before.
So let's not drop where he works.
But that's
how it is.
The companies are quite high.
So you know, they're smart.
And of course, if you're talking to them, It's okay.
There's something cool.
I don't
talk to them.
Oh, no.
In fairness, I don't talk to them when I'm not talking to them.
So they don't reach the point.
No chance.
Maybe there's a chance.
I don't
know.
I'm a little shy.
I kept up with my life. Especially during my early twenties when I was talking a lot.
I had a lot of
opinions in life.
I'm
so tired
now.
When
they
argue, I'm so tired.
Now, when I
argue,
I'm okay.
I'll just watch K-drama.
I'll go home.
But before, I felt like I was very open
to anything.
And coming from my ex
-relationship, I was
so lost. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what I want.
So literally, I said, "Let's go out." And there were so many.
I said, "I want to talk to you about this." Because literally, you can color the map.
There were only half of the
world
map.
But yeah, you met this person.
There's news that the first Filipina who
went to
the Philippines...
She was able to date all
the nationalities.
Not all
of them. But you can color
the map.
It's a bit confusing.
But yeah.
It's conquest.
Yeah.
Because I was more open.
It's not just because of the nationality.
But
if you can talk
to someone, I'm so easy.
You have
a lot of energy.
I
feel like my English is not that good.
No choice because my ex-boyfriend
is from
Norway.
We only speak English at home.
We're trained.
So, I guess, yeah. Line of job.
We work in English.
Because of events.
Yeah, events.
So, let's move on to dating in our late 20s.
How about you?
I still haven't dated anyone.
No,
I have some...
You don't want to tell the truth?
You want to be clean?
Actually, when did I really look like that?
I was 30s when I was...
Your ex?
Yes, I was
30s.
Really?
Yes,
I was 30s.
My math was wrong. I don't know.
Age reveal.
No,
you
were 20s then.
No.
Are you sure?
No, really.
I know it's not.
I know it's not.
Let's just say it.
Later, I'll tell you my computation.
I didn't tell
you earlier what my pet name is.
I don't want to say it.
Mine?
We're already laughing at your "mine".
That's it. I'm done.
I'm not
going to lie to you anymore.
Why did I do that?
I'm laughing.
Okay,
let's just say this.
Late 20s to early 30s is fine.
We're already maturing.
Yes, seriously.
I got a headache from drinking that.
Actually, my ex was in my
early 20s.
Like the serious one.
I'm
so fast, by the
way.
That's her problem.
So let's not talk about age.
We were serious.
Party age/dating around except Rem.
He didn't really.
So let's talk about going
to
our serious mature.
I guess, it's narrowed down.
Yes, so you go first.
Before us.
I don't know if I should tell this.
How did I start?
You said
it's serious.
It's serious. I don't want to.
It's hard for
me to follow the line.
Anyway, the next chapter.
Yeah.
Because...
I don't want to tell the truth.
There's
nothing left.
She's really stubborn.
I'm scared.
We met each other because she has a boyfriend.
I told you. I
told all
her friends.
But her boyfriend is abroad.
It's like...
Let's just keep this a bit longer. It hurts when
you're in a relationship.
I'm going
crazy.
It hurts when
you're in a relationship.
You want to hold my
hand.
I'm smiling.
I was the one who was pitiful.
Now, you're
the one
who's
going to be the one to be beaten.
I'm telling
you, I'm telling people, I'm not an angel.
I'm a lot of crazy
people.
So, that's really it. The craziest thing I did to you.
The craziest?
Yes, the craziest.
We had a hook up.
She has a boyfriend.
She has a boyfriend.
Oh my.
Eventually, we became one.
So...
He's so nervous!
I can see it in his eyes.
My eyes are already
opening.
If you know the setup of our house here, What is this?
It's a ledge.
So
they can hug me.
And we're two here, we can even hug him.
But
I'm a reformed Christian.
You
guys became one. You've been together
for a long time.
But coming from
that, that was your foundation.
I really
feel like I'm being criticized.
But that was your first relationship.
Coming from being a fool.
Sad boy in a jeep.
My
swing from being a good boy to being a good boy.
It's so far.
The character development is a bit
weird.
Because life is not linear.
I thought
life is
not career.
Beanie.
Let's admit it, I started my career wrong.
Career?
As a boyfriend?
So you became a boyfriend?
No, we just hook up.
We
became a couple when they were gone.
Okay,
go on.
You're not being
judged, why are you
continuing?
What are they saying? We listen, we don't judge?
Huh?
We listen,
we don't
judge.
Sorry, we're the judges.
We listen and we judge.
It's
okay because I admit it.
We don't listen, we just judge.
Let's go straight to judge.
There's
no justification
for
actions and
decisions.
From what my best
friend expected.
From what my best friend expected.
Your revenge
was
different.
How
did you meet him?
Again, I'm a vlogger.
He commented.
He met you?
Yes, you met each
other in a
vlog.
Online.
We
live in a different era.
I know, right?
There's a circle of vloggers.
Guys,
vlog, not vlog.
They also call it vlogosphere.
Oh my
god.
What was that?
By the way,
it's not mispronounced. It's really blog.
Not
vlog.
B for boy.
Blog.
That was the
time that people type.
Yes.
And people read that for
the children.
So before being a vlogger,
Rem.
Before
the content creator era, we were already creating
content.
So,
I was a bit used to fighting on the internet.
So, I helped you guys fight on the internet.
That's right.
So, that's when I met
her.
Eventually,
we met.
It's okay.
Is that the thought process?
Actually,
it's not like
that.
You didn't even ask.
Because you were just hit.
Everyone says that.
You were just hit.
Bye, Des. Good night.
Bye-bye.
You know,
there's an attraction.
Then
you gave in.
Alright.
We just met.
We just met.
We just met.
The relationship was founded on something that's not right.
So it never really worked out.
How long were you together?
It was
a long time.
Five?
I don't know.
I don't count.
I don't
count.
I
know how long it was.
But I can't say.
It's
good that LV and I have an easy memory.
We're just trying to not
have a I don't know.
There's
that ghost.
Yeah, because it's possible.
For me,
I don't care. I don't believe in that.
You're just chill.
I'm just chill.
But you just had to go.
But what happened was, towards the end of our relationship, I feel like he's paranoid.
It
feels like he fulfilled his...
Self-fulfilling prophecy.
He's entertaining other guys.
Because they're already shaky.
Yeah,
they're shaky.
So I said, "Let's end this." For me, it's okay.
The separation is okay.
Mutual.
But
apparently, for him, it's not.
So,
not sure.
For me, when it's over, it's over.
Because I already learned from my first...
Your best friend.
My best friend.
That has a
pet name
that she doesn't want to say.
She's the
one who made me feel like I'm
really her.
In the relationship, moving
forward.
But it's always like that.
It's true.
Who's the most painful?
You'll
really get traumatized.
So I said, if there are people we say we're dating and
then
I
know it's over, it's really over.
Clean
break.
We don't have anything
to
talk
about.
I don't even know if we have a best friend.
We don't have one.
Yes.
We don't believe anything.
We don't believe anything.
I told her that it's true.
It's true.
She said that it's true.
I
have a best friend and I also denated her.
And she has a girlfriend.
I know that.
And I found out that
she gave me a cell phone.
It's kind of...
It's stupid.
I don't know.
I don't
think about it.
Okay.
That's why I said that there will be things like that in LV.
I was in my early 20s.
That was that era.
I don't accept just friends. If it's just friends, then let's not talk about it.
If there's an attraction.
We're done.
We
have a lot of friends.
True.
Despite
being an introvert, I have a lot of friends.
In fairness to you.
Good job.
Okay.
Is there anything else you want to tell about your
relationship?
I have stories
about
her
but I don't care anymore.
It's already the end.
Okay.
For
me, I still have a boyfriend before Rem.
And then, he's serious.
It's very serious.
I told him that I should be serious the next time we're dating.
The reason is not the least.
And one of the reasons why is because he's so nice.
He's so nice.
Of course, you know all of those.
Yes.
But despite that, he was still a cheater.
True. - You were so nice!
You were so nice.
You were so nice.
You didn't even think about it. - I think
because there were...
There were people who were really nice to me back then.
But I feel like it was just short-term superficial stuff.
So I thought he was the most sincere.
I told him, "This is not nice. I won't lie to him. This is serious." I was scared because he was so serious.
But he was so kind.
I felt that way too.
Yes! And I was shocked.
He was so kind for my sake.
But he
was so nice.
Very kind.
Very kind.
Very kind.
You're so tall.
And it's funny that we're both in the same age.
Right?
We were in a relationship.
You're a big person. - You're a big person.
You're a big person.
He had a girlfriend then.
Then I had a boyfriend.
Then we were...
We were friends.
Yeah. - He was a good friend.
You know you're friends.
Yeah. We
met. - Yeah.
Then...
We were being issued.
They said we were the ones who cheated on our partners.
Guys,
I'm
a witness.
Not because
they're my friends.
They didn't cheat
on you.
As in...
As in...
They're so tall.
As
in, it's not that bad.
As
in, it's
not that bad.
Of course,
the cheese mist reached us and I didn't mind.
Because
they broke up first.
And then we broke up a few months
later.
No one
knew.
Because it was really annoying.
Because everyone felt like we were cheating.
But it's
not like that.
It's really gone.
And
we have a relationship.
It was clear to us that we were going out
with our
partners.
I don't
know if people were bored. We were still chismised.
Especially in the company.
Especially you.
You have a lot
of company.
Even the guards know.
The boss secretaries.
It was
like we had an anti-poll.
We were
friends, we went to carpools, we went to shuttle.
But we didn't really have any
partners.
But whatever, if someone said that,
we'll say it.
But we had a 3-month rule.
When my ex
broke up with me, I
said I won't
date.
I said 3 months. He respected that.
I'm a fan of John Lloyd. I know that.
Noted.
Just right.
After
the three-man rule.
I was like, "No more!"
Straight to the face.
As in, there's an alarm clock.
"This is the day!"
You know what they do
in the calendar?
But that's it.
I remember that.
No, there was
just a mate.
I was heartbroken then.
Rem was
already showing off.
But he was respectful because I was grieving.
Yeah.
But...
On the dot.
Yes.
But because...
You woke up that day.
This
is
me again.
I was so proud.
I don't want people to think
that
we
broke up.
We didn't break up, we broke
up.
People
said that we broke up with our partners to become friends.
I was like, "No, that's not true." But I know that
there's
something.
I'm really proud.
I thought, "What did I just
prove?" - It's true. - Right?
We have an audience. - True.
So I got
over it.
I was transparent.
It's also good because we were friends who have no filter.
Yeah.
We were very honest.
I said, "I just need time." Because as John said,
"I need control." - "To be followed."
To be followed.
So...
If you won't tell me, I'll tell you.
Yeah.
Wow.
-Excuse me? -JLC!
-That's
what happened,
right? -JLC!
-Excuse me? -I'm a witness, I'm a mind-scorer.
Excuse me? That was just between us.
-It was between us.
-Yeah,
between us.
But yeah, it was...
Like I said before, I even danced with him.
It was like, I'm done dating, I don't want to anymore.
Then... You know what?
He really went into it.
You know what?
Smooth transition.
That's just for us.
You were also given a free ride by Rim.
Yes.
Do you remember?
That's
what I introduced to you.
That's my story.
Wait, let's
finish
this episode.
Let's just do the next episode.
Let's just continue with
the
next
episode.
Can we still do it, guys?
It's
too long.
No, it's okay.
Alright.
See you.
Thank you for listening for another episode of...
What's the name of the podcast?
The Deswap Show.
And see you next time.
Thank
you.
Bye!
You were listening to The Dinkwap Show.