Embracing Life: How to Fall in Love with your Life in Midlife

In this empowering podcast episode, Sabine Schoepke, the host explores the concept of embracing life and falling in love with midlife. Many people view midlife as a time of crisis or stagnation, but it can actually be a time of growth, self-discovery, and renewed passion for life. By sharing her personal journey and through her story, she delves into the reasons why we struggle to find joy in imperfection and challenges. She identifies three common myths that hinder our ability to love life amidst adversity: letting fear-based thoughts control us, believing that love is not a choice, and thinking we must dislike our current situation for it to change. By debunking these myths, she encourages listeners to choose love over fear, embrace life’s imperfections, and recognize the power of perspective in transforming reality. This episode is not just a call to action for midlife men and women to flex their emotional muscles, but it offers practical tips and strategies for embracing the opportunities and challenges that midlife brings, and  how to make the most of this exciting phase of life. Let's redefine what it means to thrive in midlife and truly embrace all that life has to offer.

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There’s been a lot of challenging situations for me in the last couple of months. From giving up all of my LA life to relocating to Germany on my own, it’s been equally challenging as it has been exciting.
Yes, I have my moments. I miss my life partner. I miss my son. I miss my friends. I miss the familiar. Just knowing my way around life. Little things like opening a bank account or registering a car in a foreign country can get REALLY challenging.
The interesting part is that I still equally love the decision I made last year to take off, get rid of everything and explore the world. I’ve met other people along the way who were doing what I am doing and who already made a u-turn and went back home.
So I thought about this and I was wondering what the difference was. Why am I still in love with my decision and my life?
And this is what I want to talk about today.
I think some people have the capability to be in love with life, even when it is not all rainbow and butterflies.
I think there are three reasons that prevent us from being in love with something that is not so great or not perfect.
The first reason is, because we get caught up in our own thinking. Our own thinking gets in the way of loving it. The thing is, there are really only two basic emotions in life: there is love and there is fear. And in this case, our emotions of fear get in the way of being in love with our life. We are afraid of what could possibly be in the future. What could go wrong? How we can fail. These things scare us and make us feel uncomfortable.
I could be worried about all kinds of things: I am alone, will I be alone forever? Will I lose my partner over this? What will I do with the rest of my life? Where will life take me professionally and personally? Is my son ok without me? Will I run out of money? All of those thoughts are scary and make us feel uncomfortable. I totally understand, because I obviously do have those thoughts as well.
The other thing is, we think that falling in love is something that happens to us. It’s not something that we actually choose.
And the third one, is that we think that we can’t love something that’s not good or perfect, because then it won’t go away. For example, what if I embrace my current solitude? What if I wholeheartedly give myself permission to enjoy my alone time? I am concerned that it will then be like this forever. I have imagined me dying as this crazy old cat lady without anybody else around. So we scare ourselves into thinking that we should hate it in order for it to change.
Now, let’s address and unpack all three of these myths. Because that’s what they actually are:
#1) Letting our thoughts get the upper hand, and letting them scare the crap out of us, has helped nobody. Isn’t it true that everything works better and easier when we are in love? We are more resilient. We have unlimited energy. We are more creative. And we are better problem solvers. We don’t have control over our thoughts. Those crazy doomsday thoughts will come and go. But, we can learn to master them. So why don’t we??
That’s where number two comes in: we don’t just need to fall in love. We can choose to love something or somebody. Realizing that with everything in life, we hold the power to choose, and I think this is the most important and life changing realization we can possibly have. And I talked about this a couple of episodes ago. You CHOOSE how you want to feel about ANYTHING. Feeling differently about something is just a single thought away. Thoughts don’t create our reality, but how we feel about it creates our reality. So, you can choose whether you love or hate something.
And #3: thinking that we have to hate something in order for it to change, is simply falls, because you can love it and accept it as it is, and because of that, it will begin to change. But when you are focused on the pushing and pulling, you will feel stuck. I am sure you are familiar with the saying “What we resist persists”. So the opposite of that is true as well. When we embrace it and allow it to flow, it will flow and evolve. Because life is meant to evolve and change. It always does.
So, allow yourself to feel the feelings of love for life. For the good, the bad and the ugly.
And if you have a hard time with that, because it seems counterintuitive to you, because you are so used to not loving things that you don’t like, start practicing with small things. Just like with working out, we don’t start with a 100 lb dumbbell. Start with 3 lbs and flex that muscle over and over. And if you need to jump start those warm fuzzy feelings of love, think of something or somebody you love. Then let go of the thought and just bathe in that beautiful feeling. Allow yourself to be in that feeling and play with it.
So … this week, when your thoughts get in the way, do this little exercise. Flex your power of choosing your feelings. Don’t let your thoughts dictate how you feel about life. They are just thoughts. You are the boss, the screenwriter of your life. Let your feelings open you up to limitless possibilities. A life filled with love and joy is an amazing life, and if you love it unconditionally, it will evolve into something even more amazing.
With that in mind, I wish you all an amazing week filled with lots of love!!