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Goblins. Desert hobos. Repentant vandals. A murder-balloon christened the Zale Pattern Death Balloon and a fake Southern accent. The siege goes better than anyone dared plan — right up to the citadel gate, where thirty rifles level at once.
Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com
System: Pathfinder Second Edition
Creators and Guests
Host
Host
Guest
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Guest
What is Rotgrind - Narrative Declaration?
Five adventurers try to survive in this comedy filled Pathfinder Second Edition TTRPG campaign within the grim dark world of Tyne. Follow the show, get custom TTRPG content, and more at https://narrativedeclaration.com
I need more men!
You know how to read horse?
I am a horse!
What? How long? No, you're not!
Person, I'd like to make a narrative declaration.
Anytime a blunt gets made, we all just think of the Hindenburg disaster.
That being said, I suppose I should still come up with some kind of strategy, eh?
Yeah, we've been waiting for that for...
Remember when people said this was the serious campaign?
Oh, oh, oh.
We need to hear your Discord thing go...
Yes, hello.
Isn't this so wonderful?
This is me cheering.
Yippee!
The Discord thing didn't garble.
Yeah, but you feel real silly now, dude.
How about that?
We try to rely on faulty technology for a bit.
So, obviously, for anybody listening, Hoki is currently away from his main setup,
so his microphone and stuff might not sound the best,
So, obviously, you know, just be aware of that and stuff.
Welcome, everybody, to another exciting episode of Rock Ryan.
We're good to be back after taking a little short break.
Good to see everyone again.
And remember, if you really, really like this show and stuff like that,
please let people know we exist.
Please let people know that we're doing a Pathfinder 2-week show.
We love showcasing these shows to everybody and having everyone join in for the live streams,
videos, stuff like that.
Please share our videos, animations, things like that.
Please, on any forums that are applicable and accepting of that type of stuff,
we really appreciate it.
And just recommending us to whoever you can.
So, thank you very much.
And, of course, if you want to support everything,
you can be a YouTube member or you can go to patreon.com forward slash narrative declaration,
get a whole bunch of cool stuff,
along with a bunch of exclusive shows, things like that,
and a whole bunch of things that we are planning to do in the future.
But, of course,
none of that would happen without the amazing players that bring you Rock Ryan,
starting off with Odo Roshi.
Hello, it's me, Odo.
Today, I will be bringing you Veena, the self-swashbuckler.
Welcome back, everybody.
We missed you for two weeks.
You better have behaved.
I'll know.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We have the cameras in your home.
And, of course,
Yep.
And, of course, the one that we have deployed out into the field is Hokey.
That's me.
I'm Hokey Crow.
I'm out here on the field reporting far and away.
You've driven me up the walls and up and down the coast.
I'm out here reporting live on location from scenic.
And then, of course, the one who's monitoring the situation back at home base is Speaker D.
Hi there.
I'm Speaker D.
I'm monitoring the situation back here at home base.
Whenever anything bad happens, I push a big red button.
And then the second I push that big red button,
the microscopic bombs implanted in the necks of the rest of the cast will implode.
Upon that activation, a coded signal will be sent out to several of my operatives
who are currently manning stations across number stations all across the country.
Once this occurs, the secret codes will be transcribed
and allow my numerous Manchurian candidates within the United States military
to simultaneously take control of all of America's nuclear stockpiles,
where I will then all at once launch them at targets of my choice,
ensuring that the mass societal disintegration that we experience today
will be accelerated and I will rule over the ruins.
And I play Tannhauser and he's a wizard.
Question.
Yeah.
Isn't that like the plot of the G.I.
Joe movie?
I was going more for a skull face angle.
Did you get your evil plan from a cartoon?
No.
And the one who will stop Speaker is SaltyJub.
That's right.
I am SaltyJub.
For every gifted sub that will be given unto the narrative declaration thing,
I will punch Speaker again when I affermend him.
I have already eaten my explosive, so I'm fine.
I play Snot, a goblin.
And of course, the one who will be happy when we all find Explode is Thurston Hillman.
Oh, release me.
Oh, Explode.
So I may be released.
Hi, everyone.
It's me.
I'm not SaltyJub.
It's no, no, no.
Click contest.
It's good.
It's good.
It's good.
Ten out of ten.
You know, I'm excited.
I'm back from a from from a work trip and a, you know, vacation.
Like Zoran mentioned, I've also come back to the construction of a big, thick deck.
That's all.
Hey, oh, the deck news.
What what color is your deck?
Blue, red, green.
Some Azorius is a tan color.
Yeah, it's going to be natural.
It's desert.
You got desert, desert lands in it.
Desert planet.
I required desert power.
I required desert power.
The end of this debt, this bit would be that you were just building like a regular deck like for your home.
No, no.
But OK, but but but so like weird aside.
So we've got the carpenter out who's like building the deck in our backyard right now.
It's like this big thing.
And I was chatting with him and he's like he made some comment.
He's like, yeah, like, you know, I'm kind of a nerd myself.
I play Warhammer and I'm like, what?
What?
What?
What?
So that was a fun little.
You just open your basement and go like, yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
I'm not saying I didn't immediately like invite him and be like, come check out my multiple.
Or you could have just locked the basement and gone like, wow, Warhammer.
That's really embarrassing, man.
You should be embarrassed.
Yeah.
God closes, closes door slowly behind.
You still play with that kid shit?
Carries like one of your titans over.
He's in a baby carrier.
The joy toy of Horus gets delivered that day.
Shit.
We still haven't got our thing, by the way.
That last time I've checked, no, it still hasn't arrived.
The baby carriage night that if you watched our Warhammer show stuff that I basically mistakenly like jokingly, we ordered like this like big night, which is like seven hundred dollars.
There's one before the game one, which is like, it's like, you know, like there's like plastic, like really nice model toys you can give, like space marines and orcs and stuff like that.
The joy toy one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We got this really big ass night one.
And I don't know where the fuck it is.
In fact, I'm going to look it up.
Let me see if I can find it in my.
So good.
I got an email last week saying Warmaster Horus Lupracal was being mailed to my house.
So I'm eagerly awaiting him.
You know what we should do?
We should start putting that night at the back of milk cartons.
So people might, you know, tell us where our.
Have you seen my night?
Yeah.
He's got a.
He's lost out there.
He's cold.
He needs to be where he needs to be a proxy of.
He needs to be on the tabletop.
Proxying is a Titan.
And that's where he needs to be.
He's unpainted and has no varnish.
That's the thing.
He comes pre-painted.
He does.
He does.
I don't think you can buy a version.
Okay.
I found the thing.
Let me see.
Okay.
Okay.
I placed the order February 5th, 2025, and I have a return window closed on March 23rd.
That's past.
So where is it?
View order details.
Probably pre-ordered still.
Because they probably aren't done.
I think it's like a January or September for that one, isn't it?
Is it?
Like, because Horace, like, I ordered Horace shortly before the night.
And it just, like, I just got like a, it's in the mail.
So.
Yeah, because the thing I did was, was the deposit.
So nothing's been said at all.
Unless he just forgot about the thing.
Yeah.
I've, I've not a, I'm not a gosh dang clue.
It's gone somewhere.
My baby boy's lost.
I need him home.
I need him home before Gen Con.
Yeah, you have to wear the, yeah.
That was the whole thing.
You have to wear him to Gen Con.
Yeah, when we do our Gen Con.
In the baby carriage.
Yeah, we do our Gen Con thing.
That's how everyone's going to find my ugly ass.
It's just like, I have the night.
It's strapped to my chest.
Come forth and, come forth and say hi.
Regardless of that, I am playing Orin, the Strix Druid.
Oh yeah, oh yeah, we're doing interesting.
Yeah, we're doing a show.
I'm playing Orin, the Strix Druid.
Not Strix Druid in it right now.
It's the Summoner and stuff like that.
And of course, we are going through our awesome, was it Gorgoth art?
Was it right?
Am I stupid with names?
Yeah, yeah.
All right.
And we're going through our amazing art for that.
Figuring out where Tannhauser lives and of course, how his people survive in this harsh
world.
And of course.
Shittily.
Yeah.
Very much of a struggle, I would say.
Thurston, what adventure do you have for us today?
Well, I'm going to give Speaker an opportunity here to recap again for Hero Point.
Oh, fuck.
What did we do last time?
I was skipping it for time.
Oh, well.
That's why I handed it off to you.
Well, okay.
Fine.
Fine.
Fine.
You have to do a recap kind of thing because we just tell people, go watch our show.
See, here's the thing though.
Okay.
Go watch our show.
But then I, then like Zora and I, like Uno reverse card on this.
How many of the players are actively remembering where we left off last episode?
Because it is-
I remember-
I've given him a break.
I remember.
I have notes.
I got notes.
I remember-
Oh, no.
Bless you.
I have notes.
And we hung out and we got the revolution-
We got the vandal soldiers to be our friends.
And we told them about doing the revolution.
But I forget where we ended the session.
Yeah.
We brought the vandals back to Naistrum.
And we were gonna-
We had them kind of join the revolution.
We talked to-
Well, first we talked to Tub Guy again.
And we got to take a fun ride on their big, stupid battle barge.
And I love them.
And we were telling stories.
And we were having fun and drinking and all of that.
And we were gonna take him back to the heretics camp.
And then Tannhauser got a cool vision about Uncle Blaze down at the Black Papacy.
So we're gonna go.
We're gonna deal with the underground pope.
The bad one.
And then we brought-
Does anyone remember our actual plan?
We're going to attack one of Golgotha's citadels.
There is a general whose name slips my mind that is guarding it.
The revolution had a plan, you see, to go and attack one of these citadels.
But in my notes, I have noted that her plan was kind of shit.
And then my very last bullet point is we can fix it in all caps with six exclamation points.
He's not there yet.
Don't reveal him now.
Get up your surprise.
No, we did.
We did reveal him last time.
No, we didn't.
We did.
No, we didn't.
No, we didn't.
He's not in my notes.
No, we didn't reveal him last time.
No, we didn't.
There.
We did show the art.
He's not in the notes.
Play the clip.
We were told his name.
We were told his name.
Yeah, told his name.
We haven't seen him yet.
His name is Geno Dusk the Massive.
He's the guy that killed my French.
I want to kill him.
Regardless, that's the recap, Thurston.
What story do you have for us today?
Was that good?
Can we all get one fifth of a hero point each?
More like a sixth, but I'll give it to you.
All right.
We cut to...
Yeah.
No.
No.
I was going to say the fool has allowed us to obtain a hero point.
We shall be victorious.
Does it round up?
Does it round it up here?
No!
Round it down.
Die.
Into the Golgothan Wastes is where we begin.
As our adventure takes place, you are all planning on making this better.
Specifically, Tanhauser.
You are looking to utilize your art and lore of warfare, along with those skills of your allies,
to come up with a new plan to lay siege to the great citadel of Geno Dusk.
Massive.
All right.
How are you going to approach this?
This is kind of an open thing for the players to decide how you would like to handle this.
I need a quick summary of all the forces at our command and their capabilities.
We really cuts out the tent.
You got, like, a couple guys.
We've got some vandals and their funny car.
We've got the heretics.
Don't know how many of those there are.
Let's hope it's more than, like, eight dudes.
Send dudes.
Send dudes.
What?
Send dudes.
The dudes are killing him.
Hey, Artis, can one of you just please give me a thing of Vena typing, like, send dudes meme?
Send dudes.
And then, but it's Tanhauser saying, or but it's Tanhauser replying back with an image going,
I need more men.
I need more men.
I would also accept if we open with Tanhauser writing, like, one of those Civil War-era letters that's narrated by a speaker.
Who am I writing this letter to?
I don't know.
You tell me.
All right.
My dearest club talk.
Oh, no.
No, it's Bulgic.
Yeah, 100% Bulgic.
100% Bulgic.
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.
Hold on, let me, let me get some Civil War music going, okay?
Oh, good, yes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let me, I can, I can, well, then I'm here, you're in.
Hold on, let me, let me, let me find some Civil War music.
Sorry, you're going to have to.
Royalty free.
Yeah, royalty free Civil War music.
Speaker.
God, I just want them to role play.
We are.
Listen to the move.
Yeah, exactly.
Can you narrate it in Tannhauser's internal voice instead of his actual voice?
Yeah, whatever Tannhauser thinks he sounds like.
Yeah.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
My dearest Bulgwick, I'm writing to you in this moment of time.
No, I'm not going to let you narrowly declare Tannhauser has the bearing of a Confederate
state.
I do declare I remain yours eternally.
Yeah.
All right, hold on, hold on.
Tannhauser's sitting at a desk.
To my most esteemed confidant, I'm writing you now on the eve of victory, which whether
we are victorious or slain, will reverberate throughout the history of this dusty, sun-bleached
land.
The people of this land call for freedom, and I shall answer.
With my sword in one hand and magics in the other, my destined band of fellows will have
no doubts about our course of action.
In their greed and indolence, the powers that be in this land have grown superfluous and
round over their obese amount of excess victory.
But I'm slowly leaning in.
I know, he's becoming more Southern.
He's got a big handlebar mustache, got a big 10-gallon hat.
But always there will be more men that will gladly run into the slaughter and the fire of
angry lead in order to make other men free.
I must now end this letter to you, for I have begun speaking in an accent that is not my own.
And I suggest that it is possibly the inherent magics of this land that are being channeled
within my magitechnological apparatus.
But I will say this.
Once we have the men of Golgotha in their tiny little huts, splayed against a wall, we will
mount them on top of great and mighty pikes, with their entrails leaking out of their guts,
beaten black and blue by those that once oppressed them, and we will scream from the top of that
ivory mountain, we are free, we are just, and then we will proceed to massacre their families.
With thine sincerely, General Tannhauser of the revolutionary movement of Golgotha and Outset.
Well, Tannhauser, having finished this letter, takes this quill.
Well, I don't know why I was talking weird that whole time, but he'll fold it up, use wax, press it in,
and I know exactly who to give this to.
It'll walk up to Oren.
Yeah?
Yeah?
All right.
Read this, this will tell you what we're doing.
He opens it up.
I can't read.
He doesn't know how to read.
Fuck!
He takes his big ten-gallon hat, throws it on the ground.
Damn it!
He's Tarnation!
I have everything planned.
Oh, fine.
I'll really quickly take that back, and I'll go up to a, is there like a male, a male room in the giant evil death jalopy?
There's also a female room, in case you wonder.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There's a male room, too.
Yeah.
Well, Thurston.
I know, Hugh, you get a hero point.
Like, how the fuck can I not, like, after that?
Like, I like, I like, I like the Civil War a little.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I may be a deep-throatin' lobster, but that, that Miss is just gonna be terrified of the enemy.
I'm sorry, a deep-throatin' lobster?
Don't, don't pay attention to it.
Right, anyway.
I'm not that deep.
I might be deep-throatin' lobster, but I don't know nothin' about eatin' o'quafers.
That might be a simple deep-throatin' lobster.
However, listen, Oren, all you need to know is that we're going to take Harper's Ferry, or whatever the hell this citadel's called.
Yeah, but how?
Violently, obviously.
Yeah, but there's, like, a process, and, and, and we need information about the place, and, and, and, and maybe, like, maps, and, and, and entry points, and maybe secret entrances.
We don't, we, like, we, like, he, he opens up the flat.
We don't have an army, Mr. Tannhauser.
We got, like, a rabble of dudes.
Oren, how the hell do you not know how to read?
I love how you turn it around, Donham.
How do you know you're gonna hit people with all of this and not know how to read?
You never, you never, you never had any curiosity as to what language is when it's written down?
Well, I only, I only know, I only know my people's languages.
Okay, well, what languages are those?
You know, I mean, I mean, I mean, druid tree people languages and, and, and, and common stuff, but I don't know the written common word, so.
Well, you speak common perfectly, like, like you were born into it.
You haven't, you haven't picked up any writing?
Well, you see, as a bird, I mimic.
So it's because you're a mocking bird?
Yeah.
Kind of like that.
You see, you see, it's a very, very kind of turn around, you see.
I mean, just.
I don't even know who's mad at it.
I think somebody should kill you.
What?
You know, they make, you know, my teachings and stuff didn't really include a lot of writing.
I didn't really pay attention to that stuff.
All right.
Hold on a second.
And I'll reach into his pocket.
Wait a second.
So every time I've handed you revolutionary pamphlets.
Yeah, I always look at the pictures.
You never, you never read them?
I only look at the pictures.
You never even tried to remit an adventure idea for, what, a year?
Tars of Game Master, how long has it been?
It's been like eight days.
We didn't really establish a time, so.
It's been the better part of about half a year, maybe three quarters of a year at this point.
Anyway, yeah.
During that entire time, I just was really appreciated.
You gave me something that you're really passionate about.
And I tried to study the pictures really hard.
So you have no ideological link at all to any of this.
You have no idea what the hell we're doing.
Nah, I'm just hanging out, man.
Holy shit.
Most things I usually hear about the revolutions is from you screaming.
I do do a lot of that.
I suppose I've communicated something along those lines.
Yeah, you hate the government and how they oppress people.
And you wanted them to have more freedom and stuff.
And all the other shim-sham.
Shut up.
I'm really glad that I found you before the fascists did.
That's all I'm saying.
You, so you see.
In an improv show.
We come to a pass of the uh-oh.
And we're going to move past.
Because so many jokes went through my head, and none of them would have gone.
Oh, no.
Look at this letter.
Wait, do you know how to read?
Horse.
How to read.
I was taught from a very early age.
There's something going on.
You know, for a second there, I know you were saying, of course.
Horse, but all I heard was horse.
And then, of age.
You know how to read horse?
I am a horse.
He's, what?
How long?
No, you're not.
You're lying.
Kirsten, I'd like to make a narrative declaration.
What is that?
For what?
I!
What is this?
I'm like, all right, guys, you get this chance to start, like, building your evolution.
All right, we're going to.
I want to be a horse.
I, I, ah.
Okay.
Um.
All right, um, tell me more about your narrative declaration.
I would like for no less than one second to become the likeness of a horse, a la Rahua.
Only our party can see it.
Nobody else will see this.
I just need them to know and live with the knowledge that that did just happen.
Then it just goes back to normal.
And we just move.
And just.
That's it.
That's it.
That's the narrative declaration.
Getting high on the spice.
That's it?
That's, that's, that's all you want?
You sure?
You sure?
Nothing, nothing else in there?
Okay, fine.
For three seconds, Roa will turn to the party.
And just simply say, I've always been a horse, Tannhauser.
You know what?
And just make them go back to normal.
Because I'm, I'm clearly out of body for this session.
I, I want to give you.
I want to, if you want.
Uh-huh.
You have, if you have something in mind, you can, you can just tuck a little surprise in there later on.
Dealer's choice.
Oh, okay, okay.
You learn to spell animal form.
You can now turn into a horse.
The dealer seems scared.
So, so Thurston, what happens?
Well, uh, he briefly assumes the form of a horse.
Um, that is a mental trauma moment for you.
Um, and then.
Excellent.
I spend a hero point.
He's a horse the rest of the session.
I narrowed him and locked him in his bed.
Rest of the session, horse.
Okay.
Uh, Ruhua attempts to channel the anarchic energies of the anarchy, uh, momentarily turning into an equine tree-based form, um, but is suddenly trapped in there.
I appreciate I didn't even have to tell Zorin to knock down Tannhauser a hero point, because we all know it's happening.
He just did it himself.
Yeah, he did.
All right.
Oh, my God.
All right.
You're a, you are a horse.
Whoa.
Now you've seen everything.
How long have you kept this secret from us?
I didn't know horses could smoke.
That general's gonna fucking kill us all.
Thank you, Oda.
We gotta ride it off this tunnel, boys.
We're riding, I'm riding Ruhua.
I, God, it would be psychic damage.
All right.
All right, Arndelle.
We know, we know you're out for this arc, but like, you really should listen to the episodes to catch up on what you did.
Oh, I, I don't think that he should.
I think we should, this is just gonna be something that's gonna come up and have no explanation later on.
And we just simply have to carry on later in his bewilderment of what happened.
If I had a nickel for every time a party member rode another party member, I'd have two nickels.
And I think that's a bit too much for this show.
It's true.
All right, guys, we've had a good run.
I, I'm, I'm assuming that riding on Ruhua, is that going to be the same as riding a war horse or a war pony?
It's Ruh, it's Ruh horseback.
Uh, all right, I'm out.
Okay.
Okay.
Um, so, Speaker, what's your, what's your plan?
You were, you were looking for disposition of forces.
You have a Vandal, uh, land barge available to you?
Yes.
Yes.
Um, and the Vandals on board.
You have the, the heretic forces, which number in the several dozen.
I see.
Okay.
Now, this citadel, does it have any, say, central command node or any command center in which this general might be expected to be operating from?
Oh, yes.
Past the wall is an immense citadel, um, of which the, um, the, the citadel opens directly into a throne room.
Okay.
Presumably very well defended.
All right.
Here's the beginnings of my plan.
First, we sally the Vandals out as a diversionary threat.
They...
That wouldn't be green.
Exactly.
Yeah.
They shall be able to gather the attention of these varying forces, after which time, we shall begin a flanking assault.
The Vandals shall fall back, where the heretic forces shall lay in wait for ambush.
This will draw the enemy into a protracted combat from both sides, ideally into that same pass we were earlier, someplace where they can be funneled into a limited space, and their superior numbers will be less of an issue.
But all of this is transitory.
For as this occurs, we shall make a headhunter strike on the core citadel.
We shall enter into there, kill the general, and raise the flag of the revolution, whereupon we shall turn the guns of the citadel upon the enemy.
I have one question.
Yes?
How do we flank a city?
Well, we draw its attention in one place, and we go where it isn't looking.
Won't he be where everyone is looking?
Yes, and that is why we attack from an obtuse angle.
Once we enter into that citadel, the Vandal attack retreats, and tries to bait them into pursuing.
Whereupon, the heretics will ride to their aid, and together, in a pincer strike, they will be able to wipe out more than their share, or otherwise give them a damn good bloody ink before being forced to retreat.
Are there walls to this citadel?
There are.
Almost certainly.
But you discussed using the land barge as one of its great options is that it can basically break through walls.
Yeah.
Um.
Why don't we just go in with the land barge and then put us down exactly where we need to be with the crane?
Well, that certainly could be part of it.
What matters is that their eyes are focused not on a small group of infiltrators, but at a larger assault.
I am assuming that our forces will be outnumbered by a citadel's defenses.
Could we, could we perhaps get more help?
Hmm.
Do you have more allies in this place?
There are many people in the deep, the deep wastes.
If we had a convincing voice, someone to rally the people.
Yes.
Yes.
Someone who's diplomatic.
Right.
You need me.
And send your letter.
Hopefully they'll read.
Yeah.
Diplomatic.
Uh.
Your diplomacy is really good, right, Tannhauser?
Yeah, your intimidation's like, plus what?
The Tannhauser looks at his hands, his metal hands.
Oh, wait a second.
I just remembered.
Yeah.
I'm made of metal and I'm really scary.
Yeah.
Veena.
Uh-huh.
Do you know anyone that's exceptionally diplomatic?
Ah, damn, I'm drawing a blank.
Well, you'll have to do then.
All right, that'll work.
You're the captain, yeah.
All right, do you mind going about and seeing if you can gather more allies?
Sure.
How far are these people in the deep that you're talking about?
Well, they are around about a day's journey to the west, a day's journey to the east.
They are all around.
This is what we call a downtime activity, if you would like to pursue it.
So you can spend several days just kind of basically deciding how you want to approach this.
So if you want to, you know, have some of your group go and recruit people, if you want to scout the enemy.
Basically, if you want to spend a few days of downtime prepping for this, you can.
And you can each kind of tell me what you're planning on doing.
I mean, most people would listen to, like, a skyborne woman riding in on a wooden horse.
That's true.
Yeah, that's true.
A horse, a horse for who will be the real, the real linchpin in this operation.
He will go away.
You can convince the natural creatures of this world to rise up and revolt.
He kind of sheepishly kind of looks down a little bit.
He's like, I still have my problem, Mr. Tannhauser.
Oh, that's right.
I could try, but...
Oren, what if you, um, ran messages between differing groups for wider coordination over long areas of time?
That's something no one else could do.
Uh, okay.
I'll do it.
Excellent.
It's perfect because it's ultimate security since you can't actually read anything that you have.
Yeah, yeah.
They'll never get the information out of my brain.
That's right.
And if they torture me, I got nothing.
Except the location of this entire place.
You're damn right you have nothing if they torture you.
It's just going to be one of those, like, all right, everyone picks their downtime.
And then it, like, cuts to still frames with all of you smiling.
And it's like, Oren was lost in the desert and never heard of it again.
Sayahalud got him!
Sayahalud got him exclaimed by Sayahalud.
Sayahalud.
Sayahalud.
That's where they're going at him.
Bless him, the maker, and his water.
Oh.
Bless him.
Bless him.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, man.
Yeah, go ahead and give me the first message and tell me where to go, Mr. Tannhauser.
You've got it.
And, uh, Rahua.
Maybe you could, uh, do something useful, eh?
No more horseplay, eh?
Stan Houser?
I'm sorry, please.
I'm a sugar cube.
The warm energy.
I don't know how he stare at himself right there.
There he goes.
As long as his face is benign.
I just think all of this is a motherfucker.
Please don't shoot a laser beam at me.
Rahua horse.
The anarchy is manifesting, dude.
Oh, my God.
I feel so bad.
I have a question for the DM.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
What is, uh, what is a horse for who is cutie mark look like?
Shut up.
The anarchy is divine symbol.
There's not a new $20 to gain a hero point to make Tannhauser's legs.
To make Tannhauser's legs?
What the fuck is happening?
I love all of you so much.
Curse of Horus is taking my audio.
Damn, I would like to make this.
What the fuck?
I got it.
The enemy is jamming our communications with a horse.
I got to turn him down because it's probably sharp for people's ears.
But, like, uh.
Holy shit.
Okay.
I love you so much.
So much.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, just say what connection you can, man.
Well, just, you know, just try different spots for better Wi-Fi connection.
I do genuinely love the idea of a radar jammer to stop you from talking to the horse.
You're a horse now, so you can't talk.
Yeah, sorry.
Regardless.
What else would you do?
So, yeah, yeah, okay.
So we got, we got, uh, Oren.
We got Tannhauser.
Um.
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Uh, Vina, you're gonna, you're gonna rally people.
Yep.
Uh.
It's not a, it's not a goblin.
What's, what's not a goblin gonna?
I want to find the goblins.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I have Lord Goblin.
That makes sense.
Would you prefer Lord Goblin or Lord Golgotha?
Goblin.
I think Goblin's the.
Goblin's the one right here.
The Golgotha.
Okay.
Okay.
Is it a recall knowledge or would you consider this just a shit?
A check to find the goblins.
Hmm.
A check.
Not recall.
Okay.
I'ma do the goblin check.
I rolled a natural one.
All right.
All the goblins are dead.
Uh, I can't, I can't re-roll that one, right?
Uh, you can, you can.
I can?
I will.
It does come.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
I rolled an eight for a total of 30, uh, for goblin.
But I do get a complication.
I absolutely do.
Um.
What do you got on the complication chart?
So, uh, I've already had a few, but let me show you this one.
Um.
Okay.
Uh.
Uh, this one happened previously, and I think this is awesome when we are in the camp.
Uh.
Wait, wait, wait, when you say it happened previously, is this a, like, one we've used before, or?
Uh.
We shouldn't reuse them.
We shouldn't reuse them.
Oh, that is true.
That is true.
We should not do that.
Uh.
That is awesome.
Give all of our cool patrons time to torment you.
That is, that is perfect.
I get one from Ninja Charles, uh, which is made in Lemuria.
Uh.
Turns out the equipment you were using is of substandard quality.
Not only does it, uh, solve or do its intended job, it makes it worse.
So, are you just showing up with, like, a giant goblin racial slur t-shirt, or what?
No, I show up with goblins, and they make it worse.
That makes sense.
I, I'm gonna make a narrative declaration.
Yeah.
Um.
Yeah.
In, uh, in the world of Tyne.
Yeah.
Uh, Lemuria is a goblin tribe.
That's in Kolkotha.
Yeah, of course.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Under, uh, but they're underwater.
That doesn't make sense.
They've got the water theme.
Thurston, can I, can we make it?
No, no, I said their Tyne version is a, uh.
Oh.
Is goblins.
Is goblins.
Can we make it, can we make it like this, Thurston?
So that, um.
I bring in around 50 goblin for this purpose.
And then those 50 goblins over these days cost 25 soldiers to die.
Jesus Christ.
What the fuck?
Oh, okay.
We have 50 goblins.
Ah, the good alpha booster tactic.
So that would like to hurt myself.
Yes.
Yes.
But we, no, we have 50 goblins now.
It's true.
It's true.
You do have 50 goblins.
Okay, we do have 50 goblins.
But 25 less, uh, other people.
If Lex Luthor stole off this many cakes.
Okay.
Yeah.
All right.
Yeah.
You, you managed to recruit a group of 50, uh, Golgothan Lemurian goblins.
Yeah.
Um, which come out from the deep deserts, um, in support of, of your efforts.
Yeah.
And when she brings them into the camp, she snaps her fingers, kills one, the 51st goblin,
uh, that, that is along with them.
So that every other goblin knows she means she's serious.
And then she points towards Tannhauser and goes, he did it.
What?
He's the big one.
He's the one.
Listen to that guy.
Huh.
Did it.
Okay.
They are, they're all in, I wouldn't say, uh, uh, is like a bad term for this.
They're all in like stupefied fear.
Um, you are the biggest, coolest guy.
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
Like that's, that's definitely part of, of this whole mathematical equation of these Lemurian
problems.
Yeah.
Um, okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Um,
Tannhauser.
That's me.
So actually, wait, wait, no.
Oren, what skill check do you want to use for, for your, your little, uh, trek out into
the city?
Uh, since I'm traveling around everywhere, uh, I would assume maybe nature to try to better
navigate the, the desert.
Yeah, sure.
Let's do nature.
Let's, let's, let's get a Golgotha nature check.
Uh, natural one.
I love this game.
This game is so fun.
Like this is, this is the cursed episode.
I love it.
Hold on.
Hold on.
I didn't mean it literally when I said the general was going to kill us all.
Oren, you fool.
You've, you've, you've forgot your still suit.
My deck of leader, my deck of leader's empty.
My deck of leader's on.
No!
Shy hello needs me.
At least all my items.
No!
All right.
All right.
All right.
Yeah.
You, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
But I'd prefer to ask of a pity point.
At this point, you need it.
Like, in order for us to progress any level of coherent plot, you're going to need it.
Please, please, please.
I should, I should take a pity point as soon as the UI stops glitching.
I want a complication that's just like, an ornithopter bombs you in the, oh, ornithopter.
Oh, ornithopter enters the PVP zone.
Yeah, he's in a deep desert.
Oh, now I got, now I got to look around for another complication to see if any of that works.
Ornithopter.
Get in your ornithopter.
He's batting his wing.
I hate you.
I love that that was the clearest thing from Hulky.
That was, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I'm looking, I'm looking.
So fucking good.
Like, oh, my God.
Let's see, let's see.
Orn whipping out his pocket full of goodies.
Ah, yes, worm sign.
Orn walks out where Orn is.
Sorry, Orn walks out where Orn is?
I should hope so.
Oh, great.
Now there's two of them.
He finds a thumper on the ground and he wonders what that is.
Or who walks out, turns on his shield, does nothing else.
Okay, so I'm going to take one complication.
I'm going to take one complication.
We're going to turn it into what we're wanting here.
So we're going to take this from, um, from, from Saad.
Thank you so much.
Remember, you two can send a complication over at patient.com forward slash narrative declaration.
So your complication to the big old list so we can get a pull from them.
So, uh, the, their thing is, whoops, Butterfingers.
You drop your weapon or tool on the ground.
If there is a person next to you who drops on their foot.
Imagine them flying, right?
Flying around and stuff.
And I kind of drop the weapon.
Yeah, I've seen that.
You know, and he keeps hopping around looking for it.
Like, oh, what?
Where is it?
Where is it?
And then a giant sandworm comes up.
And so, so I had to run for my life or else I get eaten by the sandworm.
What, what's, what's, what are Golgoth and sandworms like?
Flat.
Flat?
Probably, uh.
Not the speaker.
Probably, probably more like the, uh, the, the David Lynch dune sandworms than the Denevian
wolf sandworms.
Um, I bet you probably could wear a suit made out of worm larva.
Like, that would be pretty cool.
Um, yeah, I, I imagine they're pretty big.
They're vicious.
They can't be as big and vicious as the Arakeen dune worms.
Because, uh, they don't, uh, uh, take up too much of, uh, the desert, I suppose.
But they're probably the equivalent of, like, dragons in this land.
Like, probably the biggest worms are the equivalent of, like, an Elder Dragon CR.
Do you wanna, do you wanna hear my pitch on a silly?
Yeah, I'll, I'll hear your pitch.
I like that.
Uh, Sea Cucumber has the ability to throw up its innards.
They are super sticky and then they drag them back in.
Uh, the, these worms just aim at things flying in the sky and they shoot up their innards and
drag them back in.
Ooh, that's pretty cool.
I do like that.
I also like the idea, maybe they're, like, they got, like, lamprey mouths, right?
Because what's on your ground, the Black Papacy, they're a bunch of vampires.
Sandworm's probably under the ground, too.
Makes sense for them to kind of be a little, little freaky.
Maybe instead of, like, throwing up their innards, it's a bunch of proboscis.
And they, like, suck it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Exactly.
And then they drag you in.
Drag them up.
Okay.
So let's say I drop the message that I was supposed to deliver and I lose the message from the worm.
Oh, no.
That entire pit squandered.
You drop it, turn around several steps later, the ground begins to shake.
You run away, the single note consumed by a massive worm.
No one's going to believe me.
I can't go with the bear as Orn dies.
Yeah.
Or as soon as it gets eaten.
So.
Well, you just got to commit.
You just got to get sand to your death, idiot.
Yeah, dude.
What's wrong with you?
It's that simple.
All right.
Let me hear a point about this roll so I can roll another one.
I roll a four.
So.
Okay.
With the plus 10, it's a 35.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
So I'd like to imagine the complication would be that I dropped the message and now Orn has to recite from any words Tannhauser has said of what the message probably is intended to be.
Which makes it a lot harder to convince people.
It's like, yeah, I had a message for you, but then the worm ate it and you want to kill people that sit down with us?
It's like, we're going to beat them up.
We get a lot of people.
You managed to attract.
You managed to attract a very particular crowd.
Um, this crowd has really no idea what's going on.
Um, like they show up and they're just kind of like, yeah, we want to go mess up the Citadel.
That sounds, that sounds cool.
Uh, you're a nature guy.
Okay.
And they sort of just follow you around creepily.
Yeah.
I bring them back.
Like, I found these guys, Mr. Tannhauser.
Uh, who the hell are you?
They're like, they're like, they're like desert hobos, basically, is what Orin brings back.
Like, scrappy people who've survived out in the deeper desert.
But, well, it's, it's been hard.
They've lived hard lives.
Let's put it that way.
How many of these desert hobos will be added to our ranks?
I'll give you a troop of, um, of, of 32 desert hobos.
32 desert hobos.
Whoa.
This is 50 goblins, some, some desert hobos.
All right, I'm going to organize our desert hobos.
Okay.
I'm going to say, what's the plan?
All right, hobos, listen up.
I will give each of you a can of beans.
One now, and one upon completion.
Okay.
If you do a good job, I'll also throw in a soup can.
All can.
So here's what you're going to do.
You are all going to approach the citadel.
You are going to intermingle with the lower classes for a few days.
Whilst you are there, you are going to be secretly spying on points of interest for military personnel and will-to-do figures within the citadel.
Once you have returned to me with the secrets and rumors, as well as the points of interest within the citadel, in two nights' time, you will get your final reward of the beans and soup can.
Roll me a flat check, speaker.
Sure thing.
Let's see if all these hobos immediately fuck off.
19!
Hey!
Somebody's hobo.
These hobos, they're like, I don't know, they got the same training as Solid Snake.
They go in like nobody's business into this citadel.
They know.
If you walk without the rhythm, you don't attract the worm.
That's true.
It's also very true.
They like, gaitly shift their way into the citadel.
And very clearly, as they enter the citadel, they're just kind of meandering in.
Like, just, it's this massive group that just comes in, like, waves.
Like, one, maybe two people at a time.
And they all continue to just, like, filter in and out.
Like, security checkpoints try to stop them.
The tech guard.
The DNA troops that are there.
But none of it seems to keep them out.
They still just manage to slowly but surely edge their way in and come back with intel.
And, like, I assume, like, Tannhauser, you're just standing there, like, with, you know, Oren, who's been helping out with this.
And as you're, like, there, you're just handing soup cans to people who return.
And they're providing you detailed information on the interior of the structure and structural weak points that only, like, a wandering vagrant would know.
Yes.
Vina, what the fuck skill check are you wanting to make for this, please?
I want you to bring in the elite unit.
Come on, now.
You're putting a lot of pressure on me.
I know.
After the hobos, you've got to step up the game.
Yeah.
All you've got to do is complicate.
Metal Gear hobos.
My God.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Vina is going to go where our revolutionary friend had indicated.
And she is going to, so she mentioned that they were people underground.
Was I given any details about, like, what they're like, what they value, that kind of thing?
These are people who live in the shade, the sort of rock-dwelling people of the Golgothan Wastelands.
They're very, which is very rare in Golgothan.
They're very, like, sedentary people, so they don't move around a lot.
They tend to be brisk traitors, though, in the aftermath of a Citadel's presence, it's incredibly difficult for them to do well, just because the tyranny of the generals really stamps down on that.
All right.
All right.
All right.
Yeah.
Then Vina is going to find these rock-dwelling people.
She's going to see the situation at hand.
And she's going to find whoever looks like a community leader, somebody influential.
And she's just going to say, like, hey, I'm going to keep it real with you.
We're here to take down that Citadel so you can go back to living in peace out here in the Wastes.
We're going to make sure that they can't step on your throats anymore, and we're starting a glorious revolution.
Give me a diplomacy check.
I'll have diplomats for you.
This is really just going to determine how much your horse is majestic or not.
Sorry, I have...
Oh, who gets to aid?
Of course I do.
It's true.
All right, all right.
Let me check my relevant skills.
Yeah, I'm all for majesty.
Religion.
Religion.
Or diplomacy, you know.
Repritus to the people.
Cheers.
All right.
Come on.
Come on, Vina.
Hold the diplomacy for me.
All right.
Oh, I'm rolling.
I thought I was waiting on Ruhu.
Oh, no.
You go first.
I think I have a problem with...
Natural 20s.
Holy shit.
Natural 20s.
The curse is over.
The curse is over, y'all.
I guess it is.
You transferred your bad luck to everyone else.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Take that.
God.
Yeah, I guess doubly soda, Hulky.
I'm really sorry, man.
Hulky, you want to still give me that aid check, please?
I'll take it because it'll be funny when you inevitably roll a one.
Yeah, yeah.
Crick to bring down the success.
Yeah.
Let's find out what's going on.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
Do it up, Doug.
Let's bring it up, Doug.
Yeah.
Hey, not bad.
Not bad.
Not bad.
Not bad.
Not bad.
Not bad.
You did it.
You did it.
That could be worse.
Could be worse.
Not bad.
Not bad.
You did it.
Yeah, Fina will get to, like, a, I don't know, these rock people's tavern or whatever.
She'll do a backflip on the center table and go, the only thing you have to lose is your
trades, brothers.
Let's go.
Dang.
Um, they reveal, uh, their, their scavenged array of tech armor, um, and their, their,
like, their war suits.
Holy shit.
And they've been waiting for the opportunity for someone who is willing to leave the rocks
to lead them.
Hell, yeah.
Yeah, I'll get the armor.
I'll shake hands with whoever their, I don't know, mayor is.
And, uh, yeah, I'm, I'm coming back with a posse.
Damn.
All right.
All right.
We'll, um, it's on and on.
It's imagining Vina in that starship troopers mode.
Like, don't you want to live forever?
Are they all, this turns out.
True.
It's so true.
Uh, all right.
So we have goblins.
We have war hobos.
We have tech armor.
Um, oh, anyone else wants to, uh, well, Tanhauser, of course.
Yeah, I'm Tanhauser.
Yeah.
What, what would, what, what sort of work would you like to do to improve this?
Okay.
Well, I think there's only one thing that needs to be done.
Um, I would like to utilize a skill that I've got, but haven't had much of a chance to use.
It's boating, isn't it?
I'm so scared.
I would like to utilize my powerful boating skill.
Excellent.
Good.
And by boating, I of course mean my original purpose here on Golgotha.
You see, back before I was a warrior, I was in charge of fixing the war rigs, of learning the machinery.
Tanhauser learned magic and had an aptitude for it because technical work on sophisticated Zeskorin systems was something that he grew up doing.
And I would like to, if I cannot say, I don't know, make a Emperor Battle for Dune, Harkonnen Devastator with a radioactive engine.
What I would like to do is shore up all of the technology, the weapons, ideally the vehicles and the armor that is going to be used for this deadly interaction.
And I want to try to turn this stuff from ramshackle to as close to pristine as I can.
Speaker?
Yes.
Speaker D.
Yes.
I'm going to ask you a question.
Okay.
It's very, it's very important because we're coming full circle, right?
We're, we're, we're, we're in the latter, the latter half of the campaign.
We've had a lot of evolution from where you started.
Um, is this where you make a war dirigible?
Is this, is this the plan?
It has to be, doesn't it?
It does.
It really has to be the time for the war dirigible.
It has to be.
We have to go back to that time.
You tried to make a fucking dirigible of the swamp.
And now, and now we're back.
Now roll the natural one, please.
You got it, boss.
Anytime.
I'm going to spend, uh, my specialty ship crafting and I'm going to be working night and day one day over this.
I'm going to use my Nanite Surge.
And I'm going to go ahead and get an additional plus two skill bonus.
Whoa.
All right.
With all of this coming to my mind, let me quickly add it properly.
Hold on.
Jesus Christ.
Okay.
That's another tab.
Going to build a montage.
Building a dirigible during this montage.
Here we go.
Three.
Three.
I will spend a hero point.
Yes.
We're to right click the thing and spend a hero point.
That is going to be a 41.
Yeah.
There we go.
Come here to montage.
Mantar.
Speaker D.
Tell me about your dirigible.
Well, the war dirigible has been assembled and let me tell you, it is a thing of monstrous beauty.
So the 3D model is spinning.
This is like the unit description when you just unlock it and command and conquer rock grind edition and the voice narrates on top of it, telling you what, what the war dirigible is.
Excellent.
So.
Hell yeah.
For a dirigible, there are an awfully disconcerting amount of spikes and pointy bits on it.
The dirigible balloons are spread about tactically in different places to create redundant safeties.
Some of them are false and are filled with napalm and toxic gas that will descend downward over wherever it is.
Orin raises a hand.
Yes.
The ones filled with napalm and gas, are they above the dirigible or below the dirigible?
Below.
Okay.
I'm just making sure we weren't making something really dumb.
This is an artillery platform.
It is going to be utilized in order to bring to bear the greater weaponry, bombing runs, troop deployments, and even air-to-air combat with the use of these cutting scythe blades that can be launched out in 360-degree angles.
It can do that really crazy thing from the last Starfighter.
You know the thing Overwatch ripped off?
Yeah.
That's right.
I just realized I've literally let you just build a fucking ornithopter so you can PvP with it.
That's right!
It has the deadliest arrangements of rockets and missiles known to man.
And all of this through a dirigible that is not only compact and easy to utilize and produce, it only has a minor, minor chance of, you know, catching a fire and murdering everyone on board.
This is a great and subtle craft.
It makes no noise.
It can linger at high altitudes and strike with the wrath of a demon.
What do you call it?
Like the design?
I call it the Zale Pattern Death Balloon.
Hell yeah.
That's awesome.
Excellent.
I'm going to grab the camera for a moment.
Hi, chat.
It's me.
Listeners, it's me.
Podcast listeners, we don't do this much, but I'm bringing you into this directly.
Okay.
Players, just shuffle off to the side for a second.
Okay.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
No worries.
Yeah, we're going to make, like, somewhat skip ahead here.
This is like, we're not skipping ahead directly in the story, but, like, I'm bringing chat with me a bit, like, ahead.
Thanks for all the high thirisans.
I appreciate it.
Okay.
So, now, speakers, like, describe this whole thing.
Okay.
Okay.
I'm going to, like, pose something.
I think that, you know, we talked about that there's hundreds of members of, like, the DNA troop that make up the Golgothan armies under the generals.
These troops have, you know, crewed firearms.
I'm going to, I'm going to tell you about one of them.
His name's Tim, right?
So, Tim, Tim, Tim hasn't been in the DNA very long.
But he's got a rifle.
He's done a few practice shots with it.
He's there.
He's got this thing.
Now, Tim, Tim, I think, is going to be one of the first people to see this war derritch.
Well, now, I want to make an arrangement.
Not Tim Curry.
Though, though, fascinating fact that I told Zoran the other day.
If you read the Dune prequel audio books, they are narrated by Tim Curry.
Oh, wow.
Hell yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There you go.
There you go.
There you go.
Or at least there is a version of his name.
Anyways, so we'll call this guy Tim Curry.
This DNA trooper, Tim Curry.
He's got his rifle.
He wants to prove himself.
So, chat, what I think we're going to do here is, I think what we're going to have is
Tim Curry, the DNA trooper, is going to aim that rifle when he sees the Zale pattern death
balloon approaching, right?
And this is in the future.
We're doing a little.
The players don't know.
This is just us.
So, are you okay if what I do is I roll a d20, and, you know, if Tim Curry just rolls
a 20, he's going to blow up the death balloon, and, like, this whole montage has been ruined
by Tim Curry.
Cool.
I'm just going to roll this dice.
There's no chance I'm rolling a 20.
Don't worry about it.
Just on the off chance.
Figured.
You're okay with that, chat?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're pretty.
Yeah, yeah.
You're all good.
Okay, cool.
Trying to Drakengard his ass.
I am.
Just a little.
Motherfucker, that's, that, oh, you bastard.
One off, you little bitch.
Holy shit.
Holy shit.
Fuck.
All right, I rolled a 19 for audio listen podcast mode.
Okay, okay.
You know, I might have eventually forgiven you, Thurston, but would you ever have forgiven
yourself if you were that funny?
Then Tim Curry dies to the napalm.
All right, let's, let's get back to the prep.
That was a little, little preview of what's to come.
Let's go back to the prep, everyone.
All right.
There's a part of me who want to go.
I narrowly declare you re-roll.
No!
Did you get me a kick, Zoran?
No!
He's not giving me advantage.
He's giving Tim Curry a bit.
Yeah, he had two shots.
I'm kidding.
Couple-barreled rifle.
Let him have this.
Let him have this.
No, it's a three.
It's a three.
We're good.
We're good.
We're good.
What have I rolled?
Thurston, can you get a petty point?
I'm sorry.
Look, everyone's just fucking rolling.
We just want to see if any of us.
Come on, fuck the speaker's epic moment.
We want this guy.
We want this guy who thirsts to subscribe for all of three seconds to get a W.
Come on.
Any time a blunt gets made, we all just think of the Hindenburg disaster.
We just love a firework.
You know what's funny is the Hindenburg disaster happened on my birthday.
That's awesome.
It's appropriate.
That one was for you.
I mean, not like the day.
Yeah, was it?
You see?
Was it also for you?
Yeah, I was about to say, this one's for you.
It was just like 9-11.
It occurred for me.
Oh, God.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Every day is a new night, everyone.
Sorry for that.
Sorry for that little side detour.
Okay.
Back to the...
Yeah.
So, yeah.
So, speaker, you've got the...
Is that for you?
Oh.
Thanks.
Thanks, Paul.
I think you're lagging so bad that you delayed.
I don't know.
I think he's out of time now.
He's out of sync with time.
Roger, recap your thing there, Thurston.
No, I was just going to say, so...
Here comes a very special...
Thank you, Fireball.
I'm going to mute him for a little bit.
Keep going.
I'll wait for him to catch up.
Oh, wow.
Disrespect.
Oh, that fucking slay to me.
He's just out of nowhere.
Okay.
Oh, fuck.
So, Tannhauser has completed construction
on the Zale pattern death balloon,
which takes about the same time it does
to retrieve and deploy your hobos,
retrieve your tech armored guard,
retrieve your Lemurian Golgoth...
or your Golgoth and Lemurian goblins,
and Rahua is still a horse.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, you know, Rahua the horse could do something.
Yeah.
He could call forth the anarchy itself.
He aided.
I think it's only fair to see Rahua,
how he will aid our glorious movement.
You...
Okay, okay, okay.
Let's see.
Okay, here's how I'll adjudicate this.
If you unmute Hulky,
and Hulky can respond to what horse Rahua
wants to do to aid in this,
we'll do something.
He's unmuted.
Okay.
So...
Just a moment.
Okay.
Rahekwine.
How are these gonna help?
How are these gonna help?
I'm not even sure if this is coming through
because it's here.
I might just be a garby of dissonant sounds
passing through internet tubes here.
I don't actually know at this point.
Keep going.
Seeing how the tides of entropy
have so thoroughly warped him.
He must work to the advantage of his compatriots.
I would like to roll religion.
You, on the seat,
slip a ton of causality.
I would like to beseech the powers of the anarchy
to persist
breaking the fence of this bastion.
Give yourself a plus two circumstance bonus
because of your great, like,
your great in-character voice acting.
Yeah, that's a two.
And that's not good.
You can't re-roll.
You have no re-roll.
Can I spend a hero point
to let everyone re-roll?
No, you can't share them.
Oh, God.
Do I have any pity points?
I have pity points.
You want to take a pity point and complicate?
Yeah, he does.
I want to hear him read complications like this.
Let's do it.
Let's do it.
Let's do it.
Hey, chat.
Fucking touch.
Rate one out of ten and chat on how much...
Tell us also in the comments how much...
How good this episode is.
I'm fucking dying, everyone.
I love gaming with you.
You're all such good people.
To be known, this episode is my official anti-endorsion of Chromebooks.
Nice piece of shit computer.
I'm going to buy a new laptop.
Oh, my God.
You're on a Chromebook, you poor bastard?
Oh, I have a new laptop.
Oh, my God.
I used to have to live in the same way that that is.
I feel your pain immensely.
Oh.
Oh.
Holy shit, you poor fucking bastard.
Everyone say thank you, Hoki, for dedicating time that he's been away from home to still be here for Rockrind.
Don't thank me.
I want to do better and not be talking to the ethers of a busa.
You know, the funny thing is that was completely clear.
Of course.
Of course it was.
Alpha, when you inevitably reach this episode and you're listening, because I know you listen to the show, just let me know.
I'll be sure to give Hoki a hero point if you shout it out at this exact moment.
Thank you.
Oh, my God.
He's going to find a real banger complication to him, right?
We got a called episode, Anarchy Horse.
Looking for a real funny one.
I'm scared.
I'm going to call this episode, My Little Rahua.
My Little Anarchist.
Or we'll call it Anarchy is Magic.
Oh, that's a good one.
If that's not already in our, like, you know, lexicon, we need to add it.
Like, oh, my gosh.
I can't ask another group of VTubers.
Like, where did all the brownies go?
They all disappeared.
They become beautiful trans women.
Leave them alone.
Literally, I was about to say, but they all just disappeared from the internet.
Like, I'll see a remnant of them ever so often.
And it's like a unicorn now.
It's like, oh, there's one.
I knew two, like, really hardcore brownies in high school.
And both of them would later go on to become flourishing trans women.
Yeah.
That is just, that's my, that's my conception of what happened to a large amount of that social strata.
The brownies, the crystal estate.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hulky.
All right.
I found one.
Okay.
This comp, hold on.
Let me, let me make sure.
If I, if I talk like the mind virus, maybe it'll improve my connection.
It's working.
So this complication comes from username Duke of Mania.
The complication is called Rush Hour Make Way.
Unfortunate timing.
What's in combat or otherwise in an open space, a sudden crowd of people or animals charges through disorienting their path and possibly changing their position.
I hope you practice crowdwalking, kid.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
I'm gonna, I'm gonna go with it.
I'm gonna go with it.
That was completely clear.
Yeah, of course.
But the fact that, that, that the person who put it in specified, like, crowd or animals makes me think that there are Golgothan horses that are attracted to Rua.
They're actually, hello?
It's, it's funny.
I don't want to go home.
They're called Golgothan horses, but they're actually the juvenile form of the Golgothan sandworm.
Yes.
Yes.
They look like a centipede with two really long legs.
I see.
I like the idea that there aren't legs.
They're like scooties.
Yeah.
With four really long legs.
So the silhouette is like a horse in the distance, but they are just centipedes with four really long legs.
Well, I have, I have really good news then.
Um, do you get a unit of Golgothan horses, which are actually centipede monsters?
Put the goblins on them.
Put the goblins on them.
Put the goblins on them.
Put a goblin.
I'm, I'm here for that.
I'm here for that.
I like this.
Put the goblins on it.
And now he's gone again.
Now, like, like now that he, he, he read the complication and then it's just back to the fucking shadow realm.
In the, in the red alert rot grind game that will inevitably happen.
Now there is such a thing as a Golgothan goblin cavalry unit.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
Um, so speaker have created the, um, the literally the worst, um, like setup imaginable.
Um, you're going to have to come up with a plan of action, uh, with which, how you're going to use the chess pieces mangled as they are to enact your dream.
And, uh, we're going to go on a little break.
And when we come back, you're going to hear how speaker's going to use all these chess pieces to overthrow a citadel.
And it's going to be right back, everybody.
Easy.
You ever wonder how we could afford all this amazing art and keep the production going and narrative declaration?
Well, it's because of you.
Either you're a member of Patreon, a YouTube member, or a Twitch subscriber, all the way to just someone who's just willing to watch the shows whenever they come out for free.
And then telling people that we exist, it's thanks to you that narrative declaration is able to grow to the size it is today.
And if you want to really help it grow even more, all the revenue that we get from our merch store at narrative declaration.shop, where you can pick up game mats, t-shirts, posters, all sorts of things.
That also goes directly into supporting artists, animators, editors, players, game masters, anybody, anybody who helps make everything to be due here successful.
So, thank you so much to you for supporting the show, either it's monetarily or just with your time.
Thank you so much and enjoy the show.
Nice.
I know, right?
It's incredible.
I timed it.
There's someone who's been, who's just probably just jogging itself and just got an ear full of burp.
Just, and he's like, oh, it's hot.
Well, I am playing a goblin.
It's a thin character.
There's someone who we're doing.
I, I, sorry, I'm recovering from some sanity damage.
We're not playing Call of Cthulhu.
That's next campaign.
I mean, you're not.
But I think Thurston is the only one of us who is playing Call of Cthulhu.
Let's be honest.
I'm playing a very different game right now.
He's the only one with fan points still to lose.
I believe where we left off was I had thrown the ball in Speaker's Court with all of the delicious board pieces that you now have.
To create your revolution against the Golgothan Citadel.
That's definitely what we talked about over the break.
Oh, yeah.
We talked about some other stuff.
Thank you.
You too can hear about what we talked about over the break.
If you become a YouTube member and or a subscriber on Twitch and or go to our Patreon.com,
where you too get to hear what we talked about.
The growing never stops.
It's that marriage of declaration.
Unless.
My face hurts.
I know.
Speaker, fucking, fucking speaker.
Please tell me how you're going to use some hobos,
some guys in plate armor and goblins riding sandworms,
a land fortress and some some people who live in the hills to,
I don't know, make your dreams come true.
Before I do that, I would like to ask you one more thing, Thurston.
We're missing someone here.
And it's not non-horse Rua.
And it's not glub talk.
Okay.
I'm pretty sure it's folded up in a drawer somewhere.
Instead, we're missing the mad alchemist, Baldrick.
Who, if I recall, is back with the ship,
making sure it doesn't get picked over by like scavengers and whatnot.
Uh huh.
We've had several days.
Would it be reasonable, Thurston?
And you can stop me if it wouldn't be reasonable to say that perhaps while he's been away watching the ship,
we've been able to remain in contact with Baldrick and he might have furnished us with some explosives.
I will allow this on one condition.
Okay.
Zoran, bring up the prior music from the beginning of the episode.
I think you require another letter to be written that you must narrate.
No, no.
The other music.
Oh, sorry.
Hi, Baldrick.
It's not Darius Baldrick.
Figure out why we use that music once more.
Not Darius Baldrick.
You can know why we use that music, but it's...
I guarantee it.
The comments I have made on my YouTube channel have been taken out of context.
I'll get you settled in.
Let me...
Oh, God.
Is this it?
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Okay, I got the...
Hold up.
Okay, I got the whole fluid.
I got the music going, so...
Perfect.
Whenever you're ready.
Oh, excellent.
My dearest.
My dearest...
Wait, hold on.
That's not Tanhouser at all.
That's just a completely different guy, actually.
My dearest...
One of the hobos.
My dearest...
I am one of the hobos that is taking notes for Tanhouser.
He says that he's going to make us all free.
Now, listen.
My handwriting may be beautiful, as I have studied calligraphy at the foots of the ancient masters of the art in a past life.
But do not let this distract you from the most apparent and overwhelming desire that we currently have.
As of right now, we need some goddarn splosers.
Because we've got to stick them mother hubbers up some structurally superfluous new behind.
Now, we need splosers.
We need bombs.
Please, please, please.
Gimme, gimme, gimme.
Gimme bombs.
Gimme big bombs.
I need some big bombs.
Gimme, gimme, gimme.
You might be wondering why Tanhouser was saying all that.
Well, he was.
Quite frankly, he spoke a bit too fast, and I didn't catch all of it.
But I think they're just about...
Oh, shit.
Oh, my God.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Ah!
Ah!
Aldrich, this is Tanhouser.
I've taken the letter back from that homeless man.
I am now writing you on the same...
I'm reviewing this, and basically, everything he said is still important.
I don't know why he insisted on writing,
Ah!
Ow!
As if he was in pain.
Because I just asked him to hand me the letter,
and he looked at me in the face, and he said,
Nope.
I'm gonna keep writing this letter.
That's me talking like him.
I suppose that won't track over the written word.
Anyway, please, please, please, please.
Give me, give me, give me big bombs.
I need them.
Thank you.
Your friend, Tanhouser, smiley face.
Of course, I'm so glad I can't read this.
I think what made it...
I think what made it...
Was the comment in chat I read as you were saying that,
which just read,
This reminds me of drugs.
What is a specific one?
Just, this reminds me of drugs.
That's...
That's the comment.
That's it.
Yeah, man.
True.
True.
Everybody gets a hero point for that.
Yay!
Yay!
Oh, God.
My face hurts.
Okay.
It's been good.
Okay, so you...
Yeah, it is.
You have bombs now.
You've acquired Baldrick bombs.
Yeepee.
You may add them to your plans.
We cut to the War Council.
There's...
There's Veena.
There's Tanhouser.
There's Snotagoblin.
There's Orin.
There's a horse.
All around the table.
Snot puts a cigarette in...
What was it?
Re...
What was it that you called him in this form?
A Rehequine?
Rehequine.
Puts a cigarette in Rehequine's mouth,
lights it,
and then, like, takes another one for herself,
and she eats it.
That's pretty sick.
So cool.
I've never seen a horse before.
I've never seen a cigarette before.
That's a lie.
You gave me one.
No, I didn't.
That must have been Rahula.
Ah.
Different...
Different wood...
Wooden creature, I guess.
Okay, so...
Overlord, we all don't question it.
What is going where?
Oh, yeah, there's miniatures on the board.
Yeah.
And it overlooks...
It's not as spent all of our down...
It's not as spent all of our downtime,
like, just making little miniatures.
It overlooks the...
The map of the...
Vista of the Great Golgothan Citadel.
Yippee, there it is.
Are I allowed to declare a charge in this turn?
No, you're over 12 inches.
There's no units for you to charge into.
Wait, hold on.
I spend one CP.
I get stuck in.
No, that's not how it works.
You can consolidate closer,
but you need...
It doesn't...
Your horse.
Hello.
Shut up.
I'm sorry.
I got hangry.
Have a...
Have a Snickers.
And I shouldn't treat you this way.
It can be your friend and your mount.
I'll have you know.
Rahua,
do you mean that?
Of course I do, Tano.
What the actual fuck is happening?
Hold on.
Roleplay's happening.
Longually listen to the horse's eyes.
I, singular.
I say as I...
As I gingerly caress
who has leaf mane.
A horse like you
comes once in a generation.
And I think
I'm your Huckleberry.
Huckleberry.
Hey,
I am yours.
You have five minutes.
Get this the fuck out of your system
and I'll be back.
I think we're horse married now.
He's gone.
You fucking killed him.
Okay.
Okay.
Thirsten's gone.
Can we agree
to the fact that
if
Tannhauser
does ride in
on Rahua's back,
Rahua just
manifests
to wooden handles
for him to hold on to.
Like a bike.
Ooh.
What do you think, Rahua?
Like a motorcycle?
Yeah, like, yeah.
I think so.
Yeah.
I think that
that would be pretty cool.
Yeah, and like
no saddle.
Like he just manifests
one out of wood.
I'll do you one better.
Like,
if he's ridden into battle,
get the handlebars
for like
extra cool points,
get a bit of like
anarchy flair to it
so it's like
a mane of stardust
and stuff.
It's real,
it's real like
fanciful shit.
Like,
you're looking
positively majestic.
You're a soldier of fortune.
You're the outrider
right now.
Yeah,
and always
he will be with you.
To make believe
with Mace.
forever and ever.
All right.
Harmony, harmony.
Everlasting journey.
How come this is
the clearest
Hulk he's been
all session?
I guess this is
the most important thing.
This bit in particular.
This fucking bit
in particular.
Yes.
This is the only thing
that matters.
Yeah.
Odo,
my sweet Odo.
Open your eyes
and see
your eyes
are open.
Fuck.
I have to open
my eyes to see
Hulky.
That's how they work.
I didn't listen
to always
in so long.
That's going back
in my Spotify.
But listen.
Always
I'm gonna be
with you
and make believe
with you
and live in
harmony,
harmony
all right.
The ADHD one
thirsted
I'm really sorry.
I have something
I have something
to edit
for the overlay.
Uh-huh.
Oh boy.
Oh boy.
Oh, he's cooking.
This is what I imagine
Rahua licks
like every time
he's looking at us.
Oh no.
Oh no.
Oh, I'm so worried.
That's your image now.
Got to wait
for it to catch up.
Oh wait.
What the fuck?
No.
I'm so hungry.
I can't even see it.
It's an open twitch.
There you go.
I see it.
I see it.
I see it.
Hey, Hulky.
Can you say
Rahua's iconic line?
Oh, so hungry.
Oh, so hungry.
How hungry.
How hungry.
Hungry, Tannhauser.
I almost said I got it.
So, Skelly, Skelly, Skelly,
Skelly, for the art asset
for the YouTube,
we're going to need you
to draw Rahua,
but if Rahua was a horse,
that's the episode art.
We're going to make Skelly quit.
What if he was a honce?
Oh my god, yes.
I think,
I think,
it doesn't matter
how we attack at this point
because we're going to win.
I don't know if that's a guarantee.
Love is blubbering.
That's optimistic.
That being said,
I suppose I should still
come up with some kind
of strategy, eh?
Yeah, we've been waiting
for that for...
I had given it
and then there was
important role play moments
that needed to happen.
All right.
We've been waiting
for about two hours.
You know,
I remember,
let's flash back
at the beginning
of the episode
where I said,
all right,
here's the plan.
We'll rule them out
with a feint.
And I had all this
tactical stuff
and then it was just like,
yeah,
and then we got a bunch
of goblins
and now I need to amend that,
but still,
I've done.
Where do you guys go?
All right.
Here's what I'm thinking.
Yeah.
We are going to send
back in the homeless
and they are going
to be equipped
with Baldrick's explosives.
Okay.
They will spread out
places.
I like this idea.
And then get...
I like this idea.
A different fate
from the citadel
to meet...
to take mass confusion.
I thought you were
going to be like,
we're going to send
back to the homeless
and they're going to
integrate into their society
and they're going to
start getting jobs.
And then once they start
getting jobs,
they'll start getting homes.
And then once they start
getting homes and stuff,
they become the bosses
of the people inside
and they begin firing them,
turning them homeless.
You're good at this,
Zorid.
You should play Tana Housing.
That's the kind of thing
that wasn't.
You're right.
All right.
Much nicer outcome
than, you know,
like,
so we're a slide boner.
It's okay.
We are going to send
the homeless
and we will have them
plant these explosives
at least a day
before the invasion.
Then,
all at once,
they detonate
and that is our signal
for the attack.
The war rig
will make itself known,
speeding out
towards the enemy forces.
Yeah.
Of course,
they will come to meet it
and that is when
the Zale pattern death balloon
will begin raining
hell from above.
It will send out
the forces
in a disorderly fashion
to attempt to evade
the artillery strikes.
But we shall create
a clear quarter
here and here
in which the war rig
can travel
to the citadel itself.
Once there,
the war rig's main goal
is going to be
smashing open points
within the main walls
of the citadel.
Yeah, breach!
Yeah!
From those breaches,
we will send away
forward teams.
The goblins,
they shall be set out
to sow great discord
within the bounds
of the walled city
as the other show.
I got it!
I got it!
I got it!
I got it!
I got it!
I got it!
I got it!
I got it!
I got it!
That's right!
The homeless
shall also be let loose
on a volunteer basis
with rusty knives.
I don't really know
what they're going
to do after that.
In fact,
it might be irresponsible
to let them
just run around.
We don't have
regular knives?
Do they have to be rusty?
We don't have
any regular knives?
They aren't trained
on how to use
regular knives.
They only have
weapon proficiency
with rusty knives.
All right,
yeah, that makes sense.
Why is that a proficiency
for the homeless?
What if we put,
what if we put
these guys,
the, you know,
the survivalists,
what if we put them
around this area
and we have them
pick off people
with rifles?
Yes, yes,
that's very good.
Yeah, anyone who flees
gets just, you know,
gunned down.
Once the initial
strike forces
have been deployed,
they will have
a scant amount
of time.
I won't lie.
The odds of survival
are low for any
who volunteer,
but their place
in history
will be enmeshed
for the ages
and they will be
known forevermore
as heroes
of Golgotha.
Do you know
any of their names?
Yes, this one is,
uh, uh,
Neo Spectre.
This one is
Death Itself
4-3-2-1.
This is Antim
2313.
This one's
Stasis Delirium.
I remember this bit.
Yeah.
Everyone start typing
real fast
to get included
to be hobos.
This one is
Chaos Madness.
This one is
the Silent Coast.
Hey.
Hey, Thurston.
My name's
Dina Trousers.
Hey, Thurston.
Yes, yes.
I spend a hero point
to narratively declare
that goblins
name themselves
after the biggest,
coolest thing.
Like the group,
the goblin group
names themselves
after the biggest,
coolest thing.
So now,
uh,
the,
the clan
previously
known
The clan
that was
previously
known
as,
uh,
I have it
right here.
I had it.
I had it in my notes.
It was wasted on this.
I had it in my notes.
Uh,
they were
previously known.
Where are you?
You are in my notes.
Where are you?
Ah,
and
Lemurians,
the Lemurian tribe
are now
referred to as
the Tanhauser tribe.
Aw.
Tanhauser tribe.
Hell yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
That's really sweet.
Very sweet.
They're all gonna die.
They are all
going to die.
Yeah,
every one of them.
Unless
that makes it
so that they
will all survive
because they're
supposed to die.
They also,
they,
they have a,
like,
they have sandworms,
so,
you know,
they might not
just,
like,
explode.
Exactly.
Now,
once these teams
have been deposited,
we will quickly
make our way
through the chaos
and attempt
to penetrate
deep into
the inner sanctum
of the general
whilst his forces
imagining
that they'll have
to chase
after the war rig
will likely
focus on that
as its primary target.
Indeed,
most of our forces
will be there.
Little do they know
that after this
has occurred,
after the first
bombs have fallen
on the city,
they will be
wading into
an ambush.
The war rig
will retreat
to this location,
a narrow valley,
and from behind,
the rebellious
heretic forces
shall launch
their ambush,
encircling them.
If you cannot force
a surrender,
wipe them out
to the last man.
then should they
not fall
for your fate,
instead,
the war rig
will continue
to launch
harassing attacks
until it finds
a band of warriors
willing and able
to give chase.
whilst all
of this chaos
ruins the city
and runs through it,
we shall cut off
the head
of this fetid serpent
and free
these lands.
Where's the part
when I get
to eat Dusk's head?
Orr just claps,
he's like,
hell yeah!
Can we get it?
Can we get it?
Can we get a,
can we get a hell yeah
from everyone?
Yeah.
There's,
there's like
a bunch of like,
yeah,
yeah,
yeah.
Yeah!
Yeah!
The goblin
sounded a little,
a little bit wet.
Just a little,
just a little.
I,
I,
I don't know why,
I,
I had this like,
mental image as speaker
was going through
everything of like,
okay,
we cut to like,
the war council,
like speakers around
the table.
It's like hour one
and then like a messenger
comes like running up
like with,
you know,
messages from the front.
He's like,
huh,
huh,
huh,
huh,
huh,
we'll need a tad.
How's it?
Is it a problem?
Is it a problem?
What is the problem,
soldier?
Looks like a quarter
of the homeless people
got jobs.
How can this be?
Who would employ them?
We're not in an economy
for that.
Oh,
I think they joined the army
or recruited.
No.
Thurston.
Fucking hell,
Hulky Crow.
What,
what are you,
what are you,
what?
What,
Hulky Crow,
what?
What?
What the fuck
are you unleashing?
Give me that.
Thurston,
pause,
pregnant,
pause.
All right,
Hulky.
Okay,
yeah.
We didn't have to bring
pregnancy into this,
but okay,
uh,
I would like to make
a fucking,
fuck,
I'm sorry,
that took me completely
out of that.
I know.
Yeah,
thanks,
Thurston.
I'm just sorry,
I'm just,
I'm looking over
at the game
and now I'm just
seeing the horse.
Sorry.
A pregnant pause,
how pregnant?
Hulky,
Hulky,
you gotta get out of here.
I'd like to make
a narrative declaration.
Hulky,
you gotta get out of here.
No,
you're not.
No.
I narratively declare
that he has no hero points
anymore.
Hey,
Chad,
welcome to narrative declaration.
I'd like to really apologize
for the horse
and pregnancy
you've been
here inside of the show.
I will be sure
to rip her in Hulky
by beating him
senseless
until he turns
into a pile of paste.
Thank you so much
for watching the show
and please remember
to like,
comment,
favorite,
and subscribe.
Who think
you think so mean
and base of me
to make a joke
about that
and not on my
shame on you.
Shame on you.
You're the real monsters here.
On his birthday.
On my birthday?
Really?
Privacy art
in front of my birth?
My face?
On my birthday?
Fuck you.
Thurston,
I'd like to make
a narrative declaration.
Markets are incredibly
volatile right now
and those jobs
that were created
were just taken away.
If not,
even more jobs
were taken away
because the markets
are so volatile right now.
Those homeless people
don't have jobs anymore.
In fact,
you're more people
who don't have jobs.
I love homelessness.
What is your problem?
A second messenger
runs in
10 minutes later.
Sure,
sure,
the economy's
crashed into Citadel.
Really?
What about all the homeless
people and their jobs?
We have 200 of them now.
Damn,
I'm good.
The economy crashed
into the Citadel?
I gotta get out of here.
Another wave of inflation.
Get your home.
Another wave of inflation.
inflation has hit the Citadel.
I know there's two towers.
But please.
Please, Sorrent.
Sorrent.
Sorrent,
I know that
when your brain
sees two towers
next to one another,
something appears.
The joke's already been said,
Salty.
Dude,
you're so demonetized, man.
It's only kind of my fault
this time.
Whenever he sees two
unsullied towers.
What I'm waiting for
is like,
we're gonna get the demonetized
on this episode
and it's gonna be like,
there's just some audio
in here that was really
painful.
It's okay.
The live stream
says monetization's still on.
They haven't live got us yet.
Twitch doesn't ban people
for breaking the rules
and we're fine on that front.
You have to show your hips
to get banned.
I gotta lie down.
My stomach hurt.
My party, bro.
We're never going
to the next arc.
Do I even have to
make a warfare check
or is this shit
just gonna work out?
Make the check check.
I like,
I like,
yeah,
yeah,
I love,
I love that
at this point
you're like,
Thirsty,
like,
can we just,
can I hit the advance
the plot button
at this point?
Because I know
if you make me roll a dice,
I'm gonna roll
a fucking one,
Thirsty,
and if I roll a one,
we're gonna be here
for another nine hours
to take the warfare check,
speaker.
I'm just trying
to do you a favor,
really.
Okay,
I'll do the warfare check.
I guess making the blimp
was more important
than actually winning
the battle to Tannhauser.
Because I can't actually
use my,
It's the principle
of the thing.
Yeah,
I can't use my
Night Night Surge.
Spell the implication.
Yeah,
let's,
The narrative.
Yeah.
The implication.
All right,
that is gonna be
a 24.
I just don't have
a hero point left.
You do.
You do.
You can use the hero point.
I will spend
my hero point
and let's see
what,
I didn't re-roll
utilizing the thing,
but that's okay.
I got a 13 anyway.
For a 31.
Can I aid?
A 13?
Yeah,
you can absolutely.
Awesome.
I rolled warfare.
I rolled two
for total 20,
still giving up
plus one.
Somehow,
Snada Goblin
points to things
and aids you
in your,
your critical
decision,
King.
If you,
if you do
a deep strike
over here,
you can get
the objective easier.
Why didn't I
think of that?
The maneuver
unknown is still rain.
That's right.
The Communist Manifesto
refers to this maneuver
as steel rain.
Oh my God.
Battle brothers.
We must assemble,
the dawn is nigh.
Oh God.
Those people who
Odo recruited
are space marines.
They're like armor.
Holy shit.
Yes,
absolutely.
Odo,
you're a little folk
or space marine.
So what a chat.
We had it for a second.
Hold on,
hold on,
hold on.
Man's house of four.
There is no time
to be lost.
Speech.
Yeah.
Oh, you don't need
to look it up.
You don't need
to look it up.
We know that
shit quite hard.
Battle brothers.
Revolution happens.
Today,
the enemy
is at our door.
We know our duty
and we must do it.
We fight for our honor
as revolutionaries,
as communists,
and we fight
in the name
of the proletariat.
Those of you
who died this day
die in glory.
You die heroes' deaths.
No,
but you shall not die.
No,
it is the enemy
who will taste death
and defeat.
As you know,
most of our comrades
in arms are stationed
in air,
prepared to deep strike.
Our perimeter
has been prepared
in the event
that the enemy
should be so bold
and so foolish.
We are the communists.
We are the proletariat's fury.
I'm sure I forgot
some parts of that speech,
but I think
that was pretty good.
I think you're,
I think you're pretty good.
That's pretty good.
All goblins clap their hands
and shout random words
from your speech.
We have placed numerous beacons,
allowing for multiple,
simultaneous,
and devastating,
defensive deep strikes.
We will descend upon the foe.
We will overwhelm them.
We will live none alive.
As soon as the battle begins.
Squad broken.
Squad broken.
Squad broken.
We have failed the proletariat.
Give me another warfare check.
Battle comrade.
Another one?
Battle brothers.
Battle comrade.
Battle comrade.
I mean,
determine agenda.
No,
that is their gender.
Comrade.
True.
18 on the time
for a 36.
Identifies battle slash brother.
That's right.
The deep strike
is highly effective
into the citadel
as your armored warriors
enter into key points
just as the homeless explosives
begin going off.
Yeah,
they drop,
as Tannhauser mentioned previously,
they drop from the balloons.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
Yeah,
yeah,
yeah.
Hitting key areas
affected by the explosions.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But they're like a bunch of beahs.
Yeah.
Remember when people said
this was the serious campaign?
Remember when?
I don't think we have
any serious campaigns.
I love my homeless bombers.
The land fortress begins
to roll up.
I believe your plan
was to eventually
join the fray
and head towards the citadel.
Is that correct?
Yeah,
we are going to insert ourselves
among the waves.
We're going to try
and sneak off
to an alternative part
of the outer wall
and attack
from an unseen angle
in support
of our comrades.
Yeah.
Like,
Tannhauser rides in
on Rahua.
Vina
can, like,
cling to Oren's hands
as he flies in
and Snot
drives in
with her
her mech.
And that's our sneak mission.
Most likely,
we'll
we'll help
with the breach head assault
and then
we'll allow
everyone else
to begin
kind of
dispersing
throughout the citadel
to sort of wage
asymmetrical warfare
as they can
whilst we go
for the decapitated strike.
Okay.
So,
with the walls breached,
you are able to
enter the
citadel cityscape
properly.
There's a bit of a cityscape
before the primary
structure itself,
kind of like
a walled in
settled sorts.
the
the resistance
you begin to encounter
from
the Golgothan armies,
particularly
the
the
sort of
shock troops
of the DNA.
You are met
by units
of the
the dread
DNA troops.
So,
with
Tim Curry's
amongst them as well.
as you
he looks
he looks
dejected.
He's like,
he's like,
I had one shot.
I rode a 19.
Should have been
a 20.
What did you
bastards
cast guidance on me?
And then he goes
and he rolls
down the hall.
go to the one place
where
go
go
the
hessent.
Sorry.
We'll turn to his day
job as a clown.
He was part of the clown
wars.
That's right.
He's a,
he said his story.
This guy's way cooler
than Tanhouser.
Can I play as him?
I mean,
you can
you don't look
too dissimilar.
Episode
whatever the fuck
we're on
the episode
where Speaker
becomes Tim Curry.
Excellent.
Good.
You can't
caught in the flag.
Well,
how about that?
Can you say
skibbity
riss with it
in that voice?
No, no.
Skibbity
riss with it.
It works.
I could probably
do a better
Tim Curry
if I was listening
to him right now.
I do a better
Matt Barry
than a better
than Tim Curry
but I can do
an okay
Tim Curry
I think.
All right.
Entering the city
it's a bit
of like a
of a
of a
not hellscape
but it is
definitely a lot
of urban
fighting
that
your
your troops
are doing
well
the shield
wall
is breached
as
as that
is then
followed up
once the
the land barge
smashes into it.
by the
the sudden
onset of
sandworms
following through
the breach
It's a good thing
we used
Baldrick's
family atomics
on this one.
Good.
Good.
Good.
This
this all
so
each of you
what I would
like you to do
is to pick
one skill
that you have
um
that represents
how you are
getting through
the fighting
in the streets
Okay
and we will
start
in order
of the
streaming
setup
with
Veena
um
Veena
how are you
you maneuvering
through the
combat zone?
Yeah
Veena's just
gonna
stick to what
she knows
she's bobbing
weaving
dodging
and uh
acrobatically
moving
through the
crowd
kind of
slippery
Okay
you wanna
you wanna
give me an
acrobatics
check for that?
Not bad
that's a 37
Yeah
37 allows you
to maneuver
through without
without taking
damage while
being part
of the
the combat
I mean
some of these
are like
low level
creatures
so I'm not
making you
fight like
a bunch
of things
that you
kill with
one hit
but it's
this is
representative
as you're
ducking
and weaving
through city
streets
making your
way towards
the large
citadel
proper
trying to
gain access
to kind
of the
open
courtyard
area
that exists
sort of
the kill
zone
but before
that going
through the
city streets
along with
your comrades
along with
some of
the forces
you've
brought in
you are
as you
said
ducking
weaving
moving
between
structures
and buildings
essentially
getting your
your bearings
in what's
going on
and maneuvering
up to join
your companion
for the push
on the
city
uh
fucking
still the
picture of
the horse
rahua
rahua how
are you
maneuvering
through this
combat zone
well you
know
normally I
would be
adhering to
the tenets
of the
anarchy
flow
like the
ink
change
scored
underpinning
all things
however
it's a bit
harder to
when you
are
quite
literally
horse
so because
of that
with my
new
equine
and
aerodynamic
form
I'm
cutting
through
the
swaths
of people
with my
sheer
unmet
speed
my
rough-cune
horsepower
my
athleticism
is unwell
moving
like a
celestial
stallion
through
these
unexpecting
sailings
I would
like to
use
athletics
for this
one
alright
give me
give me
an
athletics
check
please
you
know
what
fuck
yeah
no hero
points
unless you
want to
do a
pity
point
do you
wanna
do you
wanna
do you
feel like
you need
some pity
here
dog
two things
one
yes
I absolutely
need one
because I
have a
complicated
number
two
it doesn't
actually let
me right
click
in
real
you
need
to
have
a
hero
point
on
your
character
sheet
also
you
might
want
to
summarize
your
word
so
discord
doesn't
get
you
apologies
it doesn't
let me
right click
and I
can't
undo
my
hero
points
I
will
I'll do
it for
you
or I'll
try to
thank
you
just
re-roll
and if
it does
a 1
through
a 10
we'll
add
to
it
yeah
do it
because
you can't
figure it
out
that
way
I pity
you
I pity
you so
much
right now
Halky
thank you
thank you
for pitying
me
I appreciate
you pitying
me
that's a
complication
for this
pull this
one
okay
okay
little
shitty
chromebook
you can
do it
I believe
it's
a nat
one
are you
snoking
no
no
no
no
no
hero
point
shit
whack
galloping
whack
horse skills
whack
we need to take him out
time to go to the glue factory
I was just about to say
horsefrua decides to dig a shortcut through the Golgothan glue factory
not seeing the sign that gallops inside
we have Ruhua finds his way into like a tarp and I'm just like no horse Ruhua you need to not give in to the darkness don't let it in
no
I can't take my rigid glue
no
don't take my rigid glue
don't let it win
I can't
take a little good times
why am I a sailor now
we're trying to buy you time
I'll get to find that complication
I found it
I found it
okay
okay
actually it's for dexter perception
but I think I'm rather un-dexterous or lacking perception right now
this complication is brought to you by Jasmall
the complication name is slippy spot
whenever someone fails to check they will slip on a slippery spot of the map
so I just like to imagine he's just running full bore into this crowd
he hits like a little puddle of oil and just goes like
oh like 180 degrees
flips around
and just starts sliding into the enemies
that's pretty good
his limbs do not flail
he just becomes a static object
he starts T-posing
and this is called Kothan Horse
we've got me going horizontal
that's great
horseizontal
something's wrong with Rahorsa
I thought he was Rahekwine
whatever
oh god
no actually I'm a hoover
guys we're so fucked
I'm so fucked
I'm gonna get fired
we're gonna get
we're gonna become like
we're gonna be captured
and we're gonna be put in jail
being a
being a
on narrative declaration
it's like
that nightmare you have
where it's like
you're late for like
the final exam of your college
and you haven't been in college
for like years
yeah
it's like that
every day in real life
and I couldn't be happier
welcome to the struggle
um
um
uh
hulky hulky
um
rule me 10 d6
yeah
you slipped
you slipped on the funny
and you
saw a pair of massive stairs
beneath you
as you are flying through this
through that
roll me 10 d6 please
okay
okay
you take
31 points
of piercing damage
from
from the horrors
of the glue factory
that you will never
speak of to anyone
ever again
but you know
what happened there
you know
uh
it's not a goblin
how are you getting through
uh
isn't it
tanhauser first
uh
no no
tanhauser's last
okay
that's super cool
uh
hey
thurston
since I have a super cool mech
uh
can I use my mech skills
instead of my own
yeah
absolutely
that is awesome
I would like to use athletics
because a horse can't do it
but my mech can
um
so
I'm gonna
roll
for that
and roll
on 19
for a total of 40
uh
get dunked on
um
damn
uh
so uh
she walks in a straight line
the mech walks in a straight line
for the goal
and if anything is
in a way
through people
and
yeah
yeah
whether it's
allies
or enemies
alike
it's not a goblin
just
maneuvers through
yeah
straight line
towards the goal
clearing the way
for everyone else
that's very noble
hell yeah
why can't I move
to the left
or right
ah
get out of the way
walk in you
amazing
orin
how are you
getting through this
uh
I'm flying through
trying to
stay low
with the building roof
so all the riflemen
don't get a good shot
at me
I like to use my athletics
to get through
yeah that's far
you kind of maintain
your flight
yeah yeah sure
roll the two on the dot
I'm gonna re-roll that
gonna re-roll it good
I roll the natural one
Jesus
my god
technically
I knew your luck
rubbed off into
everybody else
Soto
I'm sorry
I don't know what I did
technically it's
it's a
oh wow
technically it's a 26
it's still a natural one
it's still a
degree down to failure
oh my god
look what you
oh
let me
let me see what
Oddo did to me
um
I'm sorry
I feel like I should
take responsibility
for this
we'll take this from
uh
Yoji the Snake Magus
thank you so much
they have a
complication called
March of the Lishies
oh
uh
as a part of the
adventures of the
parts unknown
or their risks
deeming combat
a band of roaming
leshy bards
travel past
playing their
instruments horrifically
the PCs must make
an appropriate check
to either ignore
the terrible playing
or use a skill
to make them stop
I like to imagine
there's like some
leshies that kind of
like came in with
everything
trying to do like
war music
but it's really bad
and it's breaking
the vibe
and it's just
making everyone's
morale really bad
they're cactus
leshy's
yeah
oh hell yeah
oh that's really
cool
that's sick as hell
so they're
messing everything
up and
I'm gonna have
um
this
this was the
unit you could
have recruited
but instead
you got the
hobos
from your
previous
crimp fail
there's nothing
saying you can't
be a hobo
leshy
it's true
that's true
it is a tough
economy
except I'm
gonna say no
no those hobos
have jobs
they're good
instrument players
Zoran's established
this
yeah
that's true
how would you
like
Zoran
yeah
what check
would you like
10d6
okay
roll me 10d6
I've rolled
10d6
lost
last sixes
you're gonna
you're gonna
take 38
points of
piercing damage
as the leshy
distract you
and you get
caught up
in the gunfire
of uh
several of the
dna troops
it's kind of
like a
a war scene
where you're
moving through
and then you're
distracted
you get shot
a few times
you have to
find cover
and
yeah
but you do
and all I hear
in the background
is
guys
we're homers
we're here
we here
at the Golgothan
citadel
do not condone
such acts
of violence
oh
fuck
all right
I take
damage
and head
through
all right
all right
tan
tanhouser
tan
tanhouser
tanhouser
that's me
I'm tanhouser
how
how are you
maneuvering
through this
how are you
leading your way
into this place
tanhouser's
many things
he is
a revolutionary
okay
he is
an engineer
more than
anything
he's angry
this might be
the most
useful use
of this skill
you've
ever had
and for a while
tanhouser
channeled that
anger
into
physical power
now
this is
not
this is
this is not
my best skill
uh-huh
I could argue
I could use
my magic
to get
plus 22
I could use
my knowledge
of this score
and get
plus 18
or
or crafting
for another
plus 22
I'm a master
I'm a master
in society
arcana
and crafting
but instead
tanhouser
wreathed
in glorious
purpose
at the forefront
of a revolutionary
army
faithful
glue
sodden
steed
at his side
I'm gonna use
intimidation
all right
do it
and that's
a 28
nice
that's 14
that's very
symmetrical
you
manage
to
push
your way
through
the crowd
with your
force of
personality
for once
shouting
yelling
this isn't
like a
social
gathering
this isn't
a party
this isn't
someone you
need to
turn to
your side
for a long
period of
time
this is
fear
this is
this is
about
intimidating
browbeating
your way
through
crowds
and through
troop
enemy
troop
detachments
who
flee
at the
sight
of the
great
heretic
that they've
heard of
and
legends
for
years
they do
so
almost
parting
like
sands
before
you
and
those
you
fight
alongside
as you
close
deep
towards
the
citadel
rip them
in half
break
them
do not
show
them
an inch
of
mercy
if they
do not
lay down
their arms
get them
on the
streets
such as
the fate
of all
tyrants
long
live the
people
long
live the
people
you watch
a man
beaten to
death
by several
bindles
you watch
another
destroyed
by space
i mean
tactical
uh
hill
armor
uh
giant
folk
you
you watch
as sand
worm
uh
riding
goblins
begin to
accost
the
the
immense
tech
guard
that leads
some of
the detachments
but you
eventually
make your
way
along with
your allies
to the
great gate
of the
citadel
where a
host
of
troops
await you
a
a
easily
um
soldiers
with
rifles
stand
at
the
gate
uh
your
your
fellow
supporting
armies
have now
broken
the
path
for all
of you
to break
through
into the
citadel
and that
is where
we're gonna
call
today
what a
fun
session
i hope
it's not
the last
one
thank you
everybody
for watching
this episode
of rock
grind
brought to
you by
odo roshi
it's me
odo
i i brought
you vena the
self swashbuckler
you can find
me on uh
both blue sky
and tumblr
i've finally
changed my url
to match
uh at
odo bites
uh you can
find me on
the discord
at odo
uh and
you can
find me
um
far across
the plains
the next
time we
have
rahua
or
hokey
rather
sorry
it's me
i'm hokey
crow
you
oh
you're good
you're good
go ahead
oh no
hi i'm hokey
crow i'm of course
playing the
kanrasu
war priest
rahua you can
find me at
blue sky
x
pretty much all
socials discord
at hokey crow
same username
same everywhere
and on twitch
at twitch.tv
for
hokey crow
i'm just on
hiatus right
now
and of course
we have
speaker of the
d's
hi everybody
i'm speaker
d you can
find me on
blue sky
at speaker
d and
if you
wish
and you
serve house
harkonnen
you can
find me
in dune
awakening
on the
sculptor
server
i won't
tell you
my name
but i
hope to
see many
of the
barons
faithful
out there
on the
fields
bringing
his
wrath
to the
duke's
lowly
lick
spittles
well i'm bringing
the wrath
it's salty job
it's me salty job
i bring the wrath
as saran said
i am the artist
who did a
few things
in this episode
if you like that
kind of art
support narrative
declaration
that helps me
as well
you can find me
at salty job
on all platforms
also shout
out
don't forget
to schedule
the next 10
episodes
when notifications
come out at
once
fuck you
next up
we have
thurston
hi this
episode is
also brought
to you by
a vat of
ketamine
hi it's me
the thursday
you can find
me at all
the things
that i'm
called gm
i missed
getting to
play with
my my
my friends
that's that's
all
we're gonna
have
friends
hi i'm
zon the
wizard
you can find
me everything
at zon the
wizard.com
all the
streams
videos
everything
else that
i do
along with
along with
managing all
of this
with all
a bunch of
amazing people
to do this
remember if
you really like
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and stuff like
that please
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also really
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it's
really
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so we
really
appreciate
every single
person's
contribution
to the
shows
so with
that i
love you
guys very
very much
and we
shall see
you next
time
farewell
goodbye
everybody
goodbye
goodbye
the ducks
is a horse
now
a horse
now