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What I ate last week. Ranked #182 in food podcasts in Mexico according to an email I just got.
EPISODE 63
NEWS & UPDATES
I’m going out of town and will be staying at a Marriott (sorry to brag), shout out to Jacob Higgins and his 5 day stay at the Courtyard Marriott in Westbury NY so I’ve prerecorded an episode for next week.
My Coke Zero correspondent, Brian, is reporting a local CZ shortage and has had to drink Diet Coke on the way home. He has concluded that all CZ must be produced in Iran and our local inventory has been affected by the ongoing war.
Dishwasher enzymes. Everyone on the Internet, saying don’t scrape the food off your plates before you let them in the dishwasher. Otherwise, the enzymes in the dish soap won’t work. Is this true even if it is remotely true I think that the point of scraping the food off of your plate so that it doesn’t get stuck in your dishwasher and make it stink. I shouldn’t be speaking this because I’ve never had a dishwasher as an adult except for about a year and a half in Brooklyn I happen to have a dishwasher, but I never used it.
Speaking of Brian!!, I forgot to mention that when I went to dinner party last week he told me that someone was gonna be there that he really wanted me to meet and he thought I would really get along with her and then the first thing that she said was that she hated Philly cheesesteaks and they’re the stupidest sandwich to ever be created. So we didn’t have a lot to talk about.
My vegan cheese correspondent aka #1 listener is reporting that the vegan cheese brand marketed towards pirates, Rebel Rebel cheese, is actually really good despite the alarming price point. Waterloo Flavortown root beer float 9/10.
Unfortunate cherry news (and NJ peach news) https://www.leveringorchard.com/tart-cherries/
Cruise News
ANOTHER Cruise ship is filled with norovirus
Hanta is still happening. All this because some guy wanted to go hang out at a dump
Brian says that my reaction to a potential “world virus” is “time to relax” and that I am an adult cat
Oh and the Disney cruise stuff is insane
Bacardi Rum rum cake recipe from 1980s magazines https://www.annsentitledlife.com/recipes/original-bacardi-rum-cake-recipe/
Neese’s sausage, the block of sausage that looks like a big bar of soap (I prefer Bass spicy but that one is hard to find too) people have been writing into local North Carolina new stations, begging reporters to find out why the sausage is not available at Food Lion anymore. The USDA says that the facility in which the sausage is made was too gross and was shut down. Apparently enough time has passed that they should’ve been able to resume operations, but they haven’t. I’m also seeing rumors that someone related to the production has died.
https://www.publix.com/pd/raspberry-elegance-cake/RIO-DDC-105423
Consumer Reports grocery store prices: https://www.consumerreports.org/money/prices-price-comparison/most-and-least-expensive-supermarkets-a3157951568/
Vulture update: the town of Hillsborough has been taken over by vultures because a couple is feeding them scraps and they are taking peoples’ roofs apart and shitting everywhere https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8pD1HB3/
SCENTS
Last week I talked about Harmony smelling like Swiss Miss which reminded me of the time my Dad and my youngest sister took the smaller of the two family cars to help me move out of my college dorm into an apartment in Williamsburg and my dad brought me batteries, hornet spray (for self defense) and a box of Swiss Miss hot cocoa packets
INTERNET
90 Day updates
90 Day diaries is back with Jasmine; it’s her first time cooking american thanksgiving and instead of buying a turkey she accidentally bought a ham
Eggs by Toya is in jail https://www.tiktok.com/@eggsbytoya
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8pHmxK4/
Dark Wizard
What does her husband do? Breaks his legs
Emerald Jade Green Ball
Debra has a lot of pets
Chicken named Diva Big Feet
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8pfCVu7/
Can’t recommend this next video enough. By a user simply named “tom” handle is @tom294430 making a few kinds of pizza that he can’t seem to remember and throwing trash around his house; masterclass in how to edit; the first half of the video is a series of clips of him starting over again; he keeps cutting up the same Stromboli and showing us what it looks like inside https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8pACFST/
Another person, who I am deeply scared of, simply called “Jake” who seemingly makes Black Russians every day and finds huge hauls of milk in dumpsters; I’m scared to even follow him in the off chance that he decides to show up to the homes of random people that follow him and set them on fire. I’m constantly looking out my window to make sure that there aren’t any strange men in my yard. Because sometimes they are. It happens more than you’d think considering I live out in the woods. Have I already talked about the time I heard the voices of multiple men so I crept down to the river and there were two juggalos down there in a canoe, stuck on a rock? They were extremely dehydrated so Brian took one of our watermelons down there and swam it across the river to them. Sometimes they text him. https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8pDN2Vc/
Perpetual stew that lives in a closet (counter to corner of a room on the floor to closet? Does it smell that bad?) https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8pDMaS7/
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8pUT1nP/
https://myswedishchapter.substack.com/p/citronbiskvier-lemon-biscuits-recipe-6fa
Whipped ganache instead of buttercream
Brian woke up the other morning and asked “who are Kyle and Amanda?” And now he’s watching summer house. I was howling at the placement of a giant grandfather clock in the backyard for the elderly person themed party.
America’s Culinary Cup Season 1 Finale
They should start naming TV shows after their sponsors like sports arenas. Dawn Power Wash Culinary Cup. The winner gets to take home an actual cup which should be in the shape of a Dawn Power wash bottle.
Final commandment: reimagine an iconic dish that has influenced the culinary landscape.
Suzanne Goin, Daniela Soto-Innes, and Eric Ripert are going to present their iconic dishes. Cara has to reinvent Salmon Caviar (Eric), Matt has to reinvent lamb belly barbacoa with passionfruit butter and plantain tortillas (Daniela), and Chris has to make braised beef cheek (Suzanne). Sorry but not of these dishes are iconic. I thought they were going to be like, “the ice cream cone”.
Cara made an xo cream sauce and comes in first. Chris comes in second, so Matt goes home. I feel like chris is a good example of how sometimes being publicly shamed as being an underdog and not having anything to lose has allowed him to just go for it; kind of the same concept behind beginner’s luck; Buddha and Matt both had to live up to previous big wins
Final challenge: make a 3 course meal
Unfortunately Beverly is back to be Cara’s sous. Chris brings in a random guy who can’t stop referring to him as “brother”.
Padma looks like she’s wearing a prom dress from 2005
Chris says he’s constantly thinking about his mom so he makes a dish about her; is she like sick or is Chris sick? Sick in the head as my mom often would refer to me as. Every time I tell Brian something that my mom said or did to me regularly he screams. Often when I would be telling her a story she would pretend to stick a gun in her mouth and pull the trigger.
Cara wins $1 million by 4 points with her sweet tea cup and mochi dessert. It would have sucked if it turned out to be $1 million worth of Dawn Power Wash.
Top Chef Season 23 Episode 10
Rhoda says that she’s on this show to distract her parents from the fact that she isn’t married with children. Ok that will last a few weeks depending on how far you get on the show.
Everyone heads to Green Pond Landing which more like a lake to do a mise en place race sponsored by a dishwasher soap featuring scuppernong grapes which grow in my backyard. They’re basically a weed here. They butcher these grapes. Unidentifiable as a grape by the end. Winning team has to cook a dish featuring scuppernongs, corn, pecans, and shrimp. Rhoda wins because she made salad dressing with the grapes.
Elimination challenge: they each get a boat and have to catch fish and make something from them. Sherry says the only time she went fishing she caught a couple of beer cans. That’s it. 3 people don’t catch any fish so they are given 3 pity fish (spotted bass). They should be sent home. Surprise it’s a fishing competition.
Voss water placement. As a reminder Voss water is the water of choice of murderers.
One of the guest judges describes Laurence’s Cantonese steamed fish as bussin’. It looks good as hell.
Laurence wins for the 4th time with his bussin fish. He should open a restaurant called Bussin’ fish and sexy soup.
They send Duyen home for serving raw fish. I think sieger should have gone home for serving fish over lentils and giving sass to the judges.
May 11, 2026 (Monday)
8am: Counter Culture coffee with half & half, made at home.
10am: A bowl of bran flakes with milk.
12pm: Grilled American cheese on olive oil toasted Mt. Athos Fire sourdough, made at home.
2pm: Milton’s salt and pepper crackers.
6pm: Baked pipette rigate in tomato sauce with mozzarella and parmesan and mixed greens with Marzetti creamy caesar dressing, black pepper, and red wine vinegar, made at home, and a small pour of Miller High Life.
7pm: A sliver of brownie and Blue Bell cookies and cream ice cream.
Going full blown baby mode today and eating grilled cheese made with kraft singles style American cheese, crackers that taste like the Ritz Bitz cheese sandwiches
Horizon organic American singles is expensive; got on sale at Whole Foods
American cheese sandwich sliced in half, not diagonally
This is a decent Whole Foods sourdough; definitely better than their SF version
Tomato sauce: 3TB olive oil, half of a white onion, 4 cloves garlic, Gustiamo oregano, two chiltepin peppers, Bianco DiNapoli crushed tomatoes, chicken stock, purple basil, a pound of Partanna pipette rigate, mozzarella, parmesan, drizzle of La Tourangelle olive oil
May 12, 2026 (Tuesday)
9am: Counter Culture coffee with half & half, made at home.
10:30am: A bowl of bran flakes with milk.
12pm: Grilled American cheese on olive oil toasted Mt. Athos Fire sourdough, made at home.
6pm: Chicken katsu and romaine lettuce with parmesan, Marzetti creamy caesar dressing, black pepper, and red wine vinegar, made at home.
Excessive Moisture: Introducing wet, frozen, or battered food creates rapid steam release, causing the oil to bubble and foam. Degraded/Old Oil: Overused oil breaks down, becoming more viscous (thicker). This thickness makes it easier for steam to get trapped in the oil, causing a foamy "head" like beer. Food Debris/Particles: Accumulated breading, flour, or food particles (particularly proteins and starches) at the bottom of the pot act as contaminants that encourage foam. Overheating: Frying at too high a temperature causes the oil to break down faster and foam.
May 13, 2026 (Wednesday)
7am: Counter Culture coffee with half & half, made at home.
9am: A cup of room temperature coffee from Weaver Street Market with half & half.
Cake room: A leftover box of coffee and assorted bagels from Weaver Street Market with a note to say that there is cream cheese and half & half in the fridge, NYT Cooking Page-a-Day recipes for Saltfish Buljol (Salted Cod Salad), Crisp Gnocchi With Sausage and Peas, Sausage Egg and Kale Casserole, Changua (Colombian Bread and Egg Soup), Oyakodon (Chicken and Egg Rice Bowl), Air-Fryer Sweet Potato Fries, and Spicy Honey Chicken With Broccoli, and two pink boxes of assorted donuts.
10:30am: A chocolate frosted donut and a glazed donut at the office.
6pm: Frozen Bellatoria garlic chicken alfredo pizza and half a bottle of Miller High Life.
NYT should release a new game where it’s a word jumbler that automatically generates random NYT Cooking recipes. It seems like they already have it made and that’s how they’re generated all these recipes
There were donuts at the office today so not such a bad day to be in the office. I had a divinely fat donut. Spent the rest of the day trying to figure out where the donuts were from. Two unmarked pink cake boxes. Didn’t want to run up to the new desk person asking where the donuts are from as our first interaction. Very Creed asking Meredith to draw him a map to locate Swanson's chimichangas in a grocery store. Part of why they were so good is that I don’t live near donuts anymore so it’s rare that I get one. Used to eat them every week. Spent most of my evening on Google Maps and if I had to guess I would say NC Jelly Donuts, which has a couple locations, all of the flavors that I’m seeing, and inconsistent boxes including cake boxes.
https://meatscience.org/
Speaking of meat, went to the grocery store after work to get stuff to make a big giant lasagna that Brian will not pass away while I’m out of town and the price of beef even at Food Lion is greater than the federal minimum wage per hour. Hamburger helper is gonna go out of business. ground beef is no longer for the middle class. Do you think that Billie Eilish is controlling the beef prices? She should put out a product called tofu helper, and help the people of America navigate this new reality. Hamburger Help Her
Of course the one time I buy something full price it goes on sale the next week. Japanese BBQ Bachans is on sale for 6.99 at Whole Foods. Then I went to Food Lion to get Brian tricolor pasta so he doesn’t pass away while I’m out of town and it was on sale there too, 7.49.
May 14, 2026 (Thursday)
8am: Counter Culture coffee with half & half, made at home.
10am: Grilled American cheese on butter toasted Mt. Athos Fire sourdough, made at home.
12pm: Utz Extra Dark Sourdough Pretzels.
2:30pm: Cherries.
6:30pm: Pantanna Calamarata with roasted broccoli, navy beans, parmesan, and lemon, made at home, and a bottle of Miller High Life.
Got two-for-one bags of pretzels. Always good to have an extra bag of something around when you have guests coming. Come over to my house and dry your mouth out on a nice salty pretzel. Speaking of dry I love a Miller High Life.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paccheri
Went back into my photos to try and find a photo of the kale caesar pasta salad that I made with calamarata but I didn’t take pictures
“In December 1998, Lachey and fellow singer Jessica Simpson were introduced by their shared manager at a Christmas event. They subsequently began dating after meeting again at a Teen People event in January 1999, but broke up for five months beginning in April 2001 until getting back together following the September 11 attacks.[30]”
May 15, 2026 (Friday)
8am: Counter Culture coffee with half & half, made at home.
9:30am: Two sunny eggs over olive oil toasted Mt. Athos Fire sourdough with white American cheese and Texas Pete garlic hot sauce, made at home.
12pm: Utz Extra Dark Sourdough Pretzels.
6pm: Pork tenderloin over navy beans with La Tourangelle olive oil and white onion, made at home, and a small pour of Flying Machine Plane Arms Vienna lager.
7:30pm: Blue Bell cookies and cream ice cream.
Smithfield garlic and herb flavored tenderloin that Brian’s parents’ didn’t want. Kind of a strange product that feels undercooked even when slightly overcooked. Also felt undercooked when Brian’s mom made it.
This beer was awful. Tasted tropical and sweet which I was not expecting from a Vienna lager.
Incredible batch of ice cream
May 16, 2026 (Saturday)
8am: Counter Culture coffee with half & half, made at home.
10am: A pork sausage breakfast burrito with red and green salsa, guacamole, black beans, and sour cream, and a cardamom cold brew with half & half at Hatch Burritos in Durham, North Carolina.
3:30pm: Cherries.
7pm: Blue Bell cookies and cream ice cream and a handful of pretzels.
My Austin friends were not impressed by Hatch, whose owners are from New Mexico. They’ve been here for a while though and Brian used to work for their brother at Gocciolina. They also started Accordion Club. Met up with a friend who I worked with at Milk Bar.
I loved the cold brew (cardamom, cinnamon, allspice), huge black beans
Salsas were fine, great heat level. Interior of the burrito itself was underwhelming. Eggs were super plain and unsalted, huge chunks of potatoes that could have benefitted from some roasting or caramelization, and the sausage wasn’t anything intriguing. Maybe I ordered the wrong thing – maybe more of a stewed meat would have been great. More cheese would have been great. They were out of tamales.
For the amount that was going on on the plate, there wasn’t enough dynamism. Sort of flat line.
https://hatchburritosnc.com/order
Met my friend’s boyfriend who is a fellow license plate enthusiast. He says he keeps FOIAing to try and find out which three-letter strings are banned by the DMV. I guess that’s how the rejected vanity plate blogs / list are generated. BTW I love that this person explained FOIA to me as if I’m not constantly trying to FOIA information. That’s pretty much all i am doing. Something else I find interesting about license plates is that they are censored because they are considered government speech which is becoming a slippery slope because now state and public libraries in southern states are using the same logic to claim that book selection in libraries by librarians is also government speech and they are preventing librarians from including certain types of books in their collections.
Anyway I told him about how every year I try to see every state license plate, with bonus points for puerto rico, territories, and canadian provinces. He asked how I keep track of it and I told him about this state app that I use – I don’t know what other people use it for but I track which state plates I see. I’m kind of competing with a friend’s mom but also now my sister, who is probably going to beat me because I haven’t seen Wyoming this year and all she has left is west virginia.
New vanity plate idea: Pre 9/11
My milk bar friend reminded me of the chocolate chip passionfruit cake seasonal flavor at milk bar which apparently no longer exists
And yes, eating a bowl of ice cream with a side of pretzels is the equivalent of watching Brian‘s dad pile vanilla ice cream onto a dinner plate with a slice of white bread on each side and eat it after he’s already eaten dinner and dessert.
May 17, 2026 (Sunday)
8am: Counter Culture coffee with half & half, made at home.
10am: Buttermilk pancakes and Neiman Ranch bacon with Danish butter and maple syrup, made at home.
2:30pm: Utz Extra Dark Sourdough Pretzels.
4:30pm: A BLT and cheese curds from Cook Out in Oxford, North Carolina.
7pm: Blue Bell cookies and cream ice cream.
Maple syrup from Boone, North Carolina from Brian’s old coworker. Old but it’s been in the fridge for a while so it’s doing ok.
Tried the new Whole Foods brand “european” style salted butter that is imported from Denmark and it’s not bad.
Bacon was…fine. Smelled like it came from an older pig. Cooked in the oven on a sheet tray with wire rack.
Alison Roman “Perfect Buttermilk Pancakes” (I did a heaping half version which was too much for 2 people even though this says 4 servings). Also remember when Alison Roman got cancelled? I got scared to have her book in my house so I threw it away. I guess she’s back like Louis CK.
2 cups AP flour (I used a heaping cup)
3 tablespoons sugar (I used 2 tablespoons)
1.5 tsp baking powder (I used almost 1)
1.5 tsp baking soda (I used almost 1)
1.25 tsp kosher salt (I used almost 1)
2.5 cups buttermilk (I used 1.25 plus another .25 or so of regular milk)
2 large eggs (I used 1)
3 tablespoons melted butter (I used 2)
Vegetable, canola, or coconut oil for the pan (the recipe actually says olive oil which is strange. I used vegetable oil for a nice crust)
I wish to god they would get rid of that little Caesar’s and put in a hooters so we could sit down some where.
Unfortunately ordered bacon in the form of a BLT which lord knows I don’t need