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A podcast for women doing a lot and craving more soul alignment — motherhood, business, healing, relationships, growth — trying to do it without running themselves into the ground.
We talk about:
* intuition & energy
* nervous system regulation
* trauma healing
* self-compassion
* emotional processing
* entrepreneurship
* motherhood
* creating routines that actually support you
* staying connected to yourself while juggling real life
This is about learning how to feel energized, grounded, cared for, emotionally honest, and fully alive.
Your soul called - are you ready to answer?
Welcome to Your Soul Called. A podcast for those feeling like there's something more. More alignment, more purpose, more peace, more connection, more joy. I'm Nicole your host. Each week we explore the invisible things that shape our lives, our intuition, our energy, our emotions and the lessons we came here to learn.
Nicole:Through personal stories, meaningful conversations and practical tools my hope is that every episode helps you trust yourself a little bit more, love yourself a little deeper and remember something your soul has always known. So without further ado let's dive in! Hi everyone welcome to episode 12. Today's episode is titled The Invisible Voice That's Exhausting You. So what I wanted to talk about today is this sort of subconscious thing that a lot of us do to ourselves where we are just incredibly hard on ourselves.
Nicole:Maybe not everyone but this is something I know affects me deeply I see it affecting so many women and men too you know so how hard are you on yourself and before you answer really think about it because if you're anything like me your first response might be I'm actually not that hard on myself I give myself a lot of leeway and I used to think this but then I started paying attention you know learning how to really uncover the beliefs underneath my thoughts based on the way I was feeling. I realized that even when I wasn't consciously criticizing myself there was a very quiet ongoing running theme of beating myself up in the background. It's not good enough. You should do better. You should have done more.
Nicole:You should have tried harder. You should be better at this by now. This ongoing record of berating myself about everything and it it wasn't even something I was aware of I was feeling it I was always feeling like it I wasn't enough but once I really noticed that this was going on I realized how much of my life was being driven by these invisible expectations that I set for my damn self. Like as a mom I expect myself to keep the house clean and organized and beautiful to keep the fridge stocked to go grocery shopping to always have snacks to cook homemade dinners not frozen pizzas homemade enchiladas chicken pot pies lasagnas you name it I am not a good mom unless I'm doing those things to spend quality time with my children to remember teachers appreciation week and end of teachers you know, gifts. Gifts for the coaches to have all of the laundry done, to to go through my kids' clothes.
Nicole:I have three kids. Okay? I I feel like it I put in this expectation on myself that I need to go through all their clothes every six months, get rid of all the crap that doesn't fit, and empty out their drawers and replenish with new stuff that actually fits them. Does this need to be done? Yes.
Nicole:Is that my role? To go through closets every six months, to donate and sell the things that they outgrow, to help with homework, not just to make sure they get their homework done, but to be present and help them through homework, to go to every single game, to support them in all of their endeavors, in all of their sports. We have a lot of sports teams in this house. To practice with them, to do stuff on the side, to watch YouTube videos and make sure they are doing calisthenics and all kind of crap so that they don't get hurt, to plan for adventures, to make fun trips, and to somehow make one on one time with each of my three boys. And then there's the expectations I put on myself as a daughter, as a sister, to call more, to visit more, to send thoughtful cards, to text, to check-in, to stay connected.
Nicole:And then there's the expectations that I put on myself as a business owner and those are ridiculous. To grow the business, to make money, to work consistently, to work more, to support the team, to improve systems, to handle taxes, to be a good boss, to get gifts for everyone, to make sure they know that I love that they're in on my team, that they're working for me, that they want to stay with me to give consistent raises, to handle bookkeeping, SEO, marketing, sales, to train new employees, always finding a better way to do things. And then there's everything else to exercise three times a week, to push myself during exercise, and to achieve certain, you know, physical goals, to keep learning, to keep growing, to fix the damn leaky roof, to manage the rental properties to schedule the repairs handle the finances honestly I could go on and on and on and on and on on you're probably sick of hearing about it but this is the shit that I carry with me every single day and here's what's fascinating even if I accomplished 20 things today there will always be this very subtle feeling I should have done more I should have made more memories this summer.
Nicole:I should have made it more fun. I should have planned something better. I should have called my mom. I should have spent more time with my husband. I should have been more productive.
Nicole:Should have should have should have should have it's endless. And I wonder how many of us are living like this? How many of us are carrying around this list that we've created for ourselves of expectations that nobody else gives a shit about? We're constantly grading ourselves, constantly falling short of this unrealistic standard that we've created. And here's the crazy part of of it that most of us never ever ever pay attention to.
Nicole:We're doing all of this. We've set these crazy expectations, and we never ever take the time to celebrate ourselves. When was the last time you genuinely told yourself I'm proud of you and felt it in your heart overflowing through your body. I am so fucking proud of you. Not because you accomplished something not because you crossed another thing off that list not because you did eight loads of laundry today just because of who you are When was the last time you looked at yourself with compassion instead of criticism?
Nicole:When was the last time you were genuinely kind and loving and caring of yourself? What if for just a moment you entered a completely different possibility that you were already enough? Not someday, not after you reach that goal with your business, not after the house is fully clean and tidied, not after you've lost the weight, not after you've figured things out with that relationship. Right now, is that even possible? Because I think so many of us have spent our entire lives believing that love is earned, worth is earned, that we become enough after we finally do enough.
Nicole:But what if that's never been the case what if you've been chasing this finish line that just doesn't exist so one of the questions I've been asking myself lately is what if I started seeing myself the way God sees me replace God with source the universe angels whatever the way source sees me not through the lens of performance not through the lens of accomplishments productivity but just through love and if that's true maybe you are exactly where you're supposed to be maybe your pace is perfect, maybe it couldn't have happened any other way, you couldn't have gotten here faster, can't get to where you're going any faster, everything is unfolding perfectly and it's all meant to be for a reason you may not understand yet but it's all for you. You're already perfect and always have been worthy of love. You're already worthy of rest, worthy of peace already worthy of getting that feeling of proud and maybe that's the part you've been missing you've been searching for something that you think you need to earn It's not about becoming more but it's about finally allowing yourself to believe that you never had to become more.
Nicole:You were always enough, you were always special, you were always perfect so today I want to leave you with one question if you couldn't earn your worth if that wasn't possible if you were already perfect if that dream life if it was always yours if it was already yours how would you treat yourself differently today? Would you love yourself harder? Would you give yourself the acknowledgement you've been craving? Would you let yourself feel worthy, feel more than enough, feel cared for, feel proud? What if it's just about allowing ourselves this experience of life that we've always been deserving of.
Nicole:Pay attention to how you're treating yourself. We've set these expectations for ourselves especially as women that are just so demanding and unrealistic and what are they doing for us? How are they supporting you? And if you create these expectations for yourself are you celebrating yourself for for doing them? Are you caring for yourself for showing up every day for trying so hard?
Nicole:And if you're not, start. Start today. And not because you did the thing, because you checked off all those things on the list, not because you made everybody else happy, but celebrate yourself just because you're deserving of it. Because it's perfect, because you're perfect, because everything that you've created in your life is a reflection of you and you deserve the love. You deserve to feel it inside for being, for existing without having to prove anything alright guys that's what I've got for you today pay attention to that invisible voice start noticing it start talking back Have a great weekend.
Nicole:I'll see you next week. Bye for now.