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Manhood often feels like navigating through uncharted territory, but you don't have to walk alone. Join us as we guide a conversation about how to live intentionally so that we can join God in reclaiming the masculine restorative presence he designed us to live out. Laugh, cry, and wonder with us as we explore the ins and outs of manhood together.
Who Is the Restorative Man?
00:00
Hello everyone. My name is Jesse French. I am one of the co-hosts for the podcast, our restoration project. Thanks for joining us again. And I'm excited to be again joined by my co-host, Mr. Hey, Chris Bruno here. Good to see you Chris. Good to see you too, Jesse. Excited for our conversation here today. So last week we talked about experience, story, blessing.
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that progression of ESB and how it is at the kind of core of what we do here at Restoration Project. So it is 2024. And for those of you who may not know, Restoration Project started 14 years ago. Yeah. Yeah. We can almost drive. We almost have our drivers. Yeah. Isn't it like 14 and six months or something like that in the state of Colorado? I mean, hey, rural Texas, if you're already driving at 12 or 10 or whatever,
00:57
Um, so yeah, 14 years ago in 2010. And at that point, Jesse, I did not know you. And I was just starting out to try to figure out, I was the only staff member with RP and trying to figure out like, what is it that we are about? What are we doing? What is the vision? What? I knew that there was something about wanting to be about helping men.
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grow into more the man that God made them to be, made us to be. I knew that that was all a part of it. I didn't have the language of ESB at that point because that's kind of evolved over the course of these 14 years. But back then I knew that there was some element of that. And so here's where it was. I, like I said, I was the only staff member and had just kind of graduated from counseling school, graduate school and moved back from a decade of being overseas and had just
01:53
I needed some guys to jump in with me and be like, hey, let's go, let's kind of charge this Hill. Not jump in as like, come join staff, but jump in and be like, Hey, let's be brothers together. I need, I need you guys. I need somebody to help me know what to do and where to go and what's important. So I went through my contact list at that point and just then also through my history of, you know, memory of guys and tapped a bunch of guys on the shoulder and just said, Hey,
02:22
come and do something with us that I don't know exactly what, what it's going to look like, what we're going to do, what we're going to talk about, but come and experience something in. I love, I love just that this is this broad container. We're going to do something. Come be part of it. Come be part of it. And the reality was Jesse that this wasn't like a random invitation. It was, there was already some trust and relationship built.
02:48
The guys knew that I was jumping in to start Restoration Projects and my co-founder Greg was a part of that. And so we were all like, OK, we got to do something and we need other men to do it. So I went through the history of my life and it was like tapped several guys and I was like, hey, you know me, you trust me. I trust you. Let's go do something. Come for a weekend and let's discover what God has. And just like you said in the last episode, right, that let's set the table and see what happens. Let's set the table and see what happens. So.
03:18
I ended up inviting is like 10, 11 guys. I think I invited more like 15, but only, you know, 10, 11 could come. And if you've ever been to the state of Wyoming in January. Oh, man, you're in for a treat. It is it is a rough place anyway, let alone in the dead of winter. It is like Tundra. And one of the board members at that time lived in Wyoming and had some.
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house has a property. And so we went up there and spent the weekend at his house. Hang on. I am curious. Like, was that sort of this side note? I mean, I'm sure that wasn't like the leading headline of come and do this. We're going to be in windy, wintry Wyoming. Like that may, was that fine print in the PSA? Like, Oh, actually we're, this is our location. I got a yes first that come smart. And then when they're like, where should I fly into? I'm like, fly into Denver.
04:15
And then we'll drive. We'll drive together. It'll be great. They had many people as I just, you know, it's in the mountains. So be prepared for some cold and whatever. So I had guys coming in from Michigan and Indiana and like all kinds of places. People were coming in from. So yeah, good marketing. Yeah. Well, I hope we've improved a little bit in the.
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giving enough information for people to give an intelligent yes before they, you know, bait and switch, whatever. Okay. So during that weekend, we rode snowmobiles. We shot shotguns. We threw hatchets. It was a great experience because it's out in the rural area. This guy also has like a septic tank versus sewer. And so he's like, Hey, this is a bunch of guys. There's 15 guys here. My septic tank cannot handle.
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all the flushing that is potentially going to happen. So if it's, you know, if you can go outside, totally peeing outside at negative degree temperature in blustery wind is a fun experience. I'll tell you. And it bonds people. So anyway, we, uh, we had a great weekend of experience, but then it was also very intentionally architected around that experience leading to story. And we started to ask, you know, tell us your story, tell us what has happened to you with you, for you in you, as you've become
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this man that we see today. And so we went around and shared some of those stories and, and then we had some time to honor and bless one another as well. And that was actually the genesis of restoration project, even though like, you know, the IRS nonprofit, blah, blah, blah. We had formed that back in July. It was January where the launching point for restoration project actually happened. So I'm smiling because I know
06:07
those guys that were there and just the, I just love how humble it was too, right? Like we're kind of joking about it, but it really was, hey, these are trusted men. I need them with me, with us in the organization. Like once again, let's gather and see how God shows up and see what feast might be there. Yeah, and I love that. What feast might be there? And it felt like there was a feast that weekend. And...
06:33
Can you just say like a little more around that? Like what about that was nourishing? What about that was delightful to receive? Oh, it was... I had rarely been in a space where men were being invited not to confess their sins, but to tell their story. And yeah, there was some obvious sin that had been a part of men's lives and whatever, because that's just like... Who we are. Who we are?
07:02
But that wasn't the focal point. The focal point was who are you and how did you become who you are? What has kept you? What have been some of the traumas that you've walked through? What have been some of the glories that you've walked through? And even like, where are you now in your life? What is happening to you now in your life? And I think so much of the feast was being in a space where there were men being again, honest. And I don't mean honest, like
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confession, but honest in this is what my life has been. This is what I've struggled through. This is where I am struggling right now, like those kinds of things. And it landed in a room of other men who stayed present, who stayed curious, who stayed in that, like you are welcome here, whatever it is that you have to say. There was a communal celebration of who you are and a communal grief of what you've had to walk through.
08:00
That space just felt so holy and so rich and so rare. That phrase, the communal celebration of who you are and the communal grief of what you've walked through. Like I just would underline that. We talk ad nauseum around story and engaging our story, but I think that phrase that you just said is such a good one, right? When we talk about engaging your story and sharing story, it is the communal celebration of who you are and the communal grief of what you have walked through. So well put.
08:30
and encapsulates what we mean when we talk about story. Yeah. And that was the richness of it. That's what the feast was. It was a story feast. And it felt like I got to know more of who I am as these other men shared about who they were. And we began to understand more of all that through one another. And it was so beautiful and so rare and so fun too. I mean, I remember...
08:58
You know, we were rolling snowmobiles together and, you know, trying to warm up around the potbelly stove in his house with some chili. I mean, it was just, it was fun experience. And also it was the invitation to that story. So it was so good that months later we were like, we got to do this again. There's, there's something about this that we need to do again. And we'd met a few more people and we're just like, Hey, let's, let's continue to have this.
09:28
Brotherhood space of gathering and doing that fun experience and the story feast and the blessing Journey together and like I said, that was the Genesis in Wyoming, but then it started to be this thing that we were doing Annually and that's you know shortly after meeting you one of the first things that you really did Was come to one of those weekends. So how's that? Oh man, it was so good and
09:57
I didn't totally know what all I was saying. Yes, do right. I was like, the marketing was still getting better for sure. Like, yeah, yeah. What I do remember in we're joking about it, but in the language and your invitation to it that was really humbling was your words of, Hey, I want you to come be part of this weekend. Cause there's something about you that these other men need to know. There's something about these other men that you need to know.
10:27
the invitation from you and Greg that says, hey, we see something in you that is good that we want to enjoy and also connect you to these other men. Like even that invitation was such an honor. And then to go and as you said, to play, to feast and among our stories, that really was the turning point for me of kind of recognizing like, oh, story is just simmering in all of what we do, right? And so it is like a...
10:57
a hinge point. It sounds dramatic, but like a hinge point in my life of after that, like it's the blue or the red pill, I was getting mixed up in the matrix of like, once you take that, like you kind of can't go back. And what I mean by that is the connection and the way of interacting that happened that weekend felt like the discovery of, hey, there is goodness in depth possible that I didn't know existed.
11:27
I want to underscore something that you just said, and that was the posture towards these experiences was not like come snowmobiling. The posture was not, you know, during that one that you joined, it wasn't like come fly fishing or come ATVing. It was the posture is like there is something in you that I need and something in me that you need.
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that there's something beautiful that God has written into each of our lives. And as we come together and explore that, then we become more the men that God designed us to be. Pete Yes. Yes. And that was the beautiful design of that piece of me, some of the glory and goodness that God has crafted in me without you other men.
12:23
wouldn't have known about that. I wouldn't have been able to begin to receive and believe that. Right. It was not some internal intellectual exercise that I could will myself to believe. It actually took other men playing, storying with me, seeing and naming the goodness there that then opened kind of my own recognition for the fact that that could be possible. Yeah. Yeah. Well said. Well said. And it's we don't like
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How often do we sit and think about the glory that we bring to the world in a humble way, right? There's a way to do that that's like totally prideful, like I'm all that and I can bring, I'm amazing. That's pride. But the recognition of the glory that I bring, the goodness that God has written into who I am, like I can't see that often myself and I need other men to read that in me and tell me. And you just said like, name that in me so that I can be like, oh.
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Is that what that is? Oh, and not only name it, but then call it good and call it needed and call it welcome and all of that. That part of that journey is so, so important. And it's almost like, yes, as I mentioned earlier about the sin confession thing, we focus so much about how we're failing and how we're not and how we're sinful and all that. And I'm not against confession and recognizing where the places are that we have sin in our lives.
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But we also need to recognize that the, I've said this before, like the goodness of God is written into your life. Yes. And that is far more difficult to identify, to name and to bless than your sin. And you're fine recognizing your own sin, by and large. Yep. Right. Well aware. But are you aware of the glory? And that's what you need other men.
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to experience story and blessing with you in, in order to really live into that. To put the mantle on and wear it in a sense of like, this is something that God has given me to wear and bring to the world as part of who I am. So connected to that, I wanna ask kind of a simple softball question, but I think it would connect. Which is Jesse language for, here's a fastball. I don't know. But.
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When you and Greg were starting Restoration Project, why did you call it Restoration Project? Yeah. Why was it not something like the New Man Project or the like the new edition? Like, what about the word restoration felt so needed as you were thinking about this organization and what you wanted it to be about? Oh, yeah, great question. That's not too hard of a fastball to hit.
15:19
The reality is that nothing that God Himself creates is bad. It becomes bad. It gets tarnished. It gets broken. It gets shattered. It gets stained, like all that. But the original creation of God is always a masterpiece. It is always right. And
15:46
The reality is we do live in this broken and fallen world. And so as I just said, all of that masterpiece gets tarnished in some ways, gets the, you know, the painting gets slashed, but he's not ever about throwing away the painting that he made and starting over. He's always about renewing to its original design and glory.
16:12
that first painting, that first masterpiece, the way that he made us in the beginning. And so when we think about even when Jesus talks about his calling, his vision, his purpose, his mission, he quotes from Isaiah and says like, I am coming to bind up the brokenhearted, to rebuild the city, to establish, like to free the captive, to all of those things.
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He's not about like annihilation and starting over. He's about restoring that which he originally created because it is always and has been for him good and right from the beginning. So it is about restoration. And so that's where it's not about making all new things. It's about making all things new again. That's the restoration project.
17:11
Don't you think that in talking about the weekend that we shared, the momentum behind that and the deepest hope around that was the belief in the restorative work that God is doing, right? In the deepest belief that there is a masterpiece present that He poeted into each of us and we in some incredibly generous way are invited into that process by God. Yes. Yeah. I mean, we are the body of Christ. And he talks about like...
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If you give somebody a glass of water, it is Him giving it. If you give somebody food, if you tend to somebody else, that there is something about the body of Christ participating in the restoration of Christ. And as I do that with you and as I name and see the glory in you and I bring that to you and bless you with that, then I am in the process of partnering with God in the restoration of Jesse. Jesse is in the process of partnering with God in the restoration of.
18:09
Chris and all the other men. And that's this beautiful space of like, where two or more are gathered, there I am in your midst. Right? We get to be the hands and feet of Jesus to each other. And I don't want to just say like hands and feet, we get to be the eyes, the ears, the mouth of Jesus. As we are speaking, these kinds of things in and around each other, it ignites us back. It renews us, it restores us to be that man. And that is, you just use this,
18:38
great word that we use a ton, right? Restoration, but we also call it restorative. A restorative man is one who brings about restoration in the world around him, in his family, in his friends, in his community, in his work, in his church, in his neighborhood. There is this emanation of restoration that comes out of him because he himself has experienced something good, right? Yes.
19:07
how after the miracles, so many of the miracles of Jesus, the people who have been healed are just like chatterboxes about him. They're just like, I gotta talk about this. This thing happened to me. And as a result, they become, you know, the commentary for that is evangelists, right, of who Jesus is, like, come and see who this man is. Come and see. And that's part of like, I have experienced
19:36
a feast of God, the company of men, I want you to experience it too. Come and see and be part of that. And you know, that's okay. And not only come and be part of it, but this very humble, but real recognition of like, somehow I play a part in that. Yeah. That like my presence joining the spirit of God.
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furthers that in some incredible way that actually my discovery of my glory and goodness is needed to join God so that other people can join the feast of God. Yes. And the more men that do that and have that both personal discovery and then also corporate discovery, that is where we begin to see a movement of what we call restorative men. Yeah. I want to be clear. It's not a movement of restored men. Important distinction, important spelling.
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It's because like, hey, there is a long journey ahead of me to be restored. And the more I participate in the process and what God is doing in my life, the more restored I become, but I am never finally fully restored. But I can still be restorative. Yes, I can bring about that in my life and I can bring about that in those around me. And as I said, you know, my family, my community, all those places.
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and around one another. And that's ultimately what Restoration Project is about, is to kind of grow, develop, catalyze, invite a movement of restorative men. Yep. That what happens when men across the world, across the country, across your neighborhood, your state, what happens when men are restorative? Things really begin to shift. They do. And that is exciting. That is exciting. So Chris.
21:21
Fast forward, like we kind of went back to the annals of Restoration Project. But like bring us up to present day in terms of, you know, those very small gatherings that started 13, 14 years ago have continued and are vibrant, critical piece of who we are now. Yeah. Well, and I would say they're the centerpiece of who we are is, and I want to be clear, it's not the gathering itself. It's not that experience itself that is the centerpiece. It is the community. Yep.
21:50
that is the centerpiece. So fast forward, we've started to call several years ago, we started to call this community the Grove. And living here in Colorado, we have Aspen trees and the largest organism on earth is the Aspen Grove. And it is that each individual tree is uniquely planted, uniquely shaped, it's in a unique spot, it's got its unique size, right? And it's kind of...
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branches that are unique to it. No two trees are identical, but they are all interconnected by the root system underground. That there is a sense of connection, community, a sense of like even life, right? Forest fires happen here in Colorado often, unfortunately. And when a forest fire ravages a mountainside, it wipes out all the pine trees and then the first trees to come back.
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are the Aspen trees because of the life source that happens in the root structure, root system. Yeah, they're like the critical restorative species that allows restoration to happen. Yes, it allows for restoration to happen because of the connection community. So we started to call this community of men the Grove. And you know, it's not like you don't get a membership and you
23:17
but it's more this posture of participation in something bigger of a community of restorative men. So The Grove is, we do have these experiences that are really kind of training grounds for us to be with one another in experience story blessing architecture around the experience, but where there's some of that fun that we get to have together, there's some of that.
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story exploration, they're setting the table as we have said. And there's also this like, I am participating in something bigger than me. And in this greater community that now is numbers in the hundreds. And our dream and vision is that there would be hundreds and hundreds of men across the country that are participating in Grove. Again, it's not like a membership or a gentleman's club kind of thing that you belong to, but it is more the sense of like, I am part of the Grove and it is part of me.
24:12
And we get to do some things together. So we do have the experiences where there is that training ground where you come and you get to retreat and you get to have that time away. But the Grove then also is not just at the retreat, but it's between the retreats. It's in the sense of like all throughout the year, not just in the one weekend a year. Yep. So also that men would discover their restorative presence, right? Yeah. And discover and then return home.
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more able to offer that to their families, to the unique places where they're at. Yes, yes. So that they can be that part of the Aspen Grove uniquely planted wherever they are planted in the shape and size and family and community where they are planted and have the connection, the resourcing, the participation in something bigger. Yeah. So now the beauty is like, we've got Grove experiences all over the country. We do.
25:10
We've got, you know, kind of West Coast, East Coast, middle, and all that. And our dream is to have multiple of these. So we actually have a couple coming up. We do. Yes. Tell us more. Oh, well, here in Colorado at the end of September is a Colorado Grove experience. And whether you've been to a Grove experience 10 times or you've never been, there is a spot for you. So we would love for you to join us.
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here. If any of this is curious to you, anything is like jump in. So end of September is one here in Colorado. And then we've got one coming up in Washington state in October. Yeah. And so we'd love for you guys to jump in and join us there. The experiences will be slightly different, but the, how do I want to say this? The content, the, the core is going to be the same. And I am going to be at both of those. You guys, I want you to join me. So,
26:07
Sign up, come on. Yeah, they're on the website. If you go to the experiences section of our website, you'll find both those listed. Would love to have you guys be a part. Yes. So all the way back, Jesse, to the beginning, I cannot believe, and here's the thing, I should believe, I cannot believe, I can believe, because it's God that's been a part of it, but I had no idea that when we went to the frozen tundra of Wyoming,
26:34
that was going to be the spark of a collective movement of men, a community of men that would become what it has over the last 14 years. And I'm super excited to see where it's going. And to the degree that now, right, all the men who came to the first several of these were men that I knew. And one of the glorious, glorious pieces of this now, Jesse is that men come to Grove that I don't know. That's right. I don't know personally,
27:04
They've been invited by other guys. They've just come themselves, like whatever it is. And the glory of that for me is that there is glory embedded in every man. And back then I knew glimpses of some of the glory that I saw in those original guys. And now I get to know more of who God is every single time a new man shows up. Yep, yep. The feast is on the grown. It's only grown. It's grown. So, yes, it's so fun. So, all right.
27:34
We'll pause there you guys. So good to be with you today, Jesse, and talk about this stuff. It's just such at the core and heart of what I love about Restoration Project. So. Me too. Thanks Chris.