Journey to the Sunnyside | Mindful Drinking & Alcohol Health

Drinking less is not only about what you do. It is also about what you tell yourself in the moments that matter. In this episode, I share 10 sentences for cravings, good stretches, rough nights, and the moments when you start questioning your progress. Simple reminders that can help you keep your momentum, give yourself some grace, and make the next choice a little easier.

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Disclaimer: This podcast is not intended as medical advice, and the views of the guests may not represent the views of Sunnyside. If you're concerned about your health or alcohol use, please consider seeking advice from a doctor.

Creators and Guests

Host
Mike Hardenbrook
#1 best-selling author of "No Willpower Required," neuroscience enthusiast, and habit change expert.

What is Journey to the Sunnyside | Mindful Drinking & Alcohol Health?

Exploring the science of drinking less, from alcohol cravings and habit change to moderation, naltrexone, and building a healthier relationship with alcohol. Whether you're sober curious, cutting back, or thinking about quitting, this podcast meets you where you are.

Journey to the Sunnyside is a top 1% podcast reaching over 500,000 listeners every week. Through expert interviews, neuroscience research, and real stories, we cover what actually works — mindful drinking, behavior change, medication-assisted approaches, harm reduction, and more.

Hosted by Mike Hardenbrook, #1 best-selling author and neuroscience enthusiast. Brought to you by Sunnyside, the leading program for changing your relationship with alcohol. Start your free trial at sunnyside.co.

Disclaimer: The views expressed in our episodes do not necessarily represent those of Sunnyside. If you're concerned about your drinking, please consult a medical professional. This podcast is not medical advice.

Speaker 1:

Hey everybody. Welcome back to Journey to the Sunnyside. This week I want to talk about 10 things that you can tell yourself while you're drinking less, maybe taking a break, or maybe you're going at giving it up for good. And before you roll your eyes, these are not affirmations. I'm not gonna have you get in front of a mirror like that SNL skit with Stuart Smalley and say, good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.

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None of that today. These are for the actual moments when you want a drink, when maybe you feel left out, when you had more than you planned, when you had a few good weeks go by, and all of a sudden your brain starts whispering, hey, maybe it's really not that big of a deal. Maybe I was being hard on myself. In those moments, the way that you talk to yourself either keeps things moving forward or turns one moment into something much bigger than it actually needs to be. Some of these I'll spend some time on.

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Some of these are going be a little bit quicker, but let's get into it. So number one is I don't have to decide forever. I only have to decide today. Forever is a lot. That's more than I can take on.

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The second your brain hears it, it actually starts asking, what about that vacation I'm going to take? What about those birthdays? What about the wedding coming up? What about Christmas three years from now? You don't need to solve Christmas three years from now.

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You need to decide about tonight. Maybe that's none. Maybe that's one instead of three. Maybe that's leaving the party earlier. Whatever it is, change gets a lot more manageable when you stop asking yourself to sign a lifetime contract.

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Alright. Number two is wanting a drink doesn't mean I need one. Now this sounds pretty obvious. And at the same time, it doesn't feel obvious at, say, 6PM on a Friday. When that craving shows up, it comes on with, let's just call it confidence.

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It never says, hey. I'm just something to consider. It actually says, You need this. You've had a long day. We need to fix everything.

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But wanting and choosing, those are separate steps. You can want a drink and still wait ten minutes. You can want one but also decide it's not worth tomorrow morning. The feeling is real it's just not a command that you have to follow through on. Number three is uncomfortable isn't unbearable.

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Sometimes the hard part isn't the craving or the urge. It's this story that we build up around it. Maybe you go into a party. This feeling I have right now, it's gonna last all night. It's okay to feel restless at dinner and not know what to do.

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Maybe where do I put my hands? That's not the night going badly. That's just doing familiar things in a new way. And guess what? New feels awkward before it feels normal.

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Number four is I'm not missing out. I'm finding out. We give alcohol a ton of credit. You go out for a great dinner, people you love, good food. You have stories and laughs.

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And afterwards, you might say, you know, it was so much fun grabbing those drinks. Maybe. But the drinks were not the whole night. Was it really that third drink that made that conversation better? Or was it the place?

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Was it seeing the people that you don't see enough? Fair warning, some events, they do turn out boring and alcohol used to cover for those. But now you're finding out what you actually enjoy instead of assuming that alcohol was doing all the work. Number five: Feeling better doesn't mean I imagined the problem. This one's a little bit sneaky.

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You can cut back. You can sleep better. Everything is going great. You know, you wake up in the morning, a new person. And then a few weeks in, your mind starts playing tricks on you.

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Maybe it wasn't all that bad. Maybe I was overthinking it. Maybe I'm being extreme right now. Now your memory, here's the thing. It's a terrible historian.

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It keeps the dinner, the laughter, the first drink, but it also deletes waking up at 3AM, having anxiety, maybe not being productive the next day. Feeling better means that the thing that you changed, it's working. Don't let your memory talk you out of the results that you're seeing. Number six is, hey, it's okay. I can miss parts of it and still not want it back.

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You don't have to decide if drinking was all bad. Maybe you do miss parts of that. The anticipation, maybe the end of the day ritual, maybe feeling more relaxed at that party. And guess what? You are allowed to miss those things.

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Missing a part of something doesn't mean you want it back the way it was. You can miss that buzz. You can miss that fifth drink or whatever it is. Both are true at once. And pretending otherwise, it might make you feel like you're failing at something that you're actually doing really good at right now.

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Number seven is one night doesn't erase an entire month. It can also work for a week. A great month, one night, you over drink, and then you wake up ready to basically remove all the work you've done for the whole month, like you're right back where you started. Except you're not. You still had all those success on the weeks before.

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You still learned what helps. One night does not travel backwards through time and erase all of that. Look at it honestly. Maybe you got tired. Maybe you didn't eat enough.

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Maybe something happened in your life that was stressful. That's all information and none of that can take away all the effort you've done so far. Number eight, stopping now still counts. This is one of the most useful ones to carry with you when you're out or at home. It doesn't matter.

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Maybe you planned one or two. Now you are having three and your brain is saying, you know what? I already blew it. So three becomes four, five or eight or whatever it is. And then the morning gets way harder than it has to be.

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Researchers actually have a name for a version of this spiral. It's called abstinence violation effect. It's what happens when breaking a plan turns into guilt, failure, and then you're off to screw it mode. So that voice isn't giving you some honest assessment of how the night's going. It's a known pattern in psychology.

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So stopping now still counts. Water still counts. Going home early still counts. Wherever you're at, one extra drink doesn't get to decide the rest of the night. Number nine is progress might feel more subtle or even hard to see at all than I expected.

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Here's the thing. A lot of change starts before it even shows up, let's say in tracking your drink numbers. Maybe you still had that drink. Maybe you haven't changed at all in the numbers, but you noticed that urge first and thought about it. You still had three, but you paused before that third one.

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Here's the thing that awareness changes before behavior changes. First, notice the decision, then you interrupt it, and then you make a different one. So catching yourself maybe five minutes earlier than you used to counts as progress. And then number 10, last but not least, and in fact, if you're going to keep one, keep only this one. The next choice matters more than the last one.

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This is one that I use all the time, not just for alcohol, but just coming back to the next choice. It works in every direction. You had a good week, the next choice protects it. You had a rough night, the next choice moves you past it. Already had the drink, The next choice keeps you from running the rest of the night off the rails.

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Learn from it. Be honest about it. But guess what? You still can't change it. But the next one, that one's open.

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That's where change lives. It's not about being perfect. It's just coming back to the direction that you want. And you do it over and over. Sometimes when things are going good, sometimes it's after a rough month, just keep coming back to that.

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Okay. You don't have to memorize all of these. Just pick one that you need this week. And if you only remember one, make it the last one. The next choice matters more than the last one.

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Okay. Thanks for hanging out with me this week. If you got anything out of this, please just take one minute to run over to wherever you're listening to, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or one of the other ones, and just hit the stars. Leave a little note for me. I really personally appreciate that.

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Send me an email, mike@sunnyside.co. Thanks to everyone that has sent me an email this past week. I really love those. And until next time, cheers to your mindful drinking journey.