Conversations That Count

You spent your whole life proving why me. This episode is the moment you stop proving and start believing why not me, the confidence you already earned.

In this short solo session, David Shaft breaks down the tug of war between the part of you that needs to earn its seat and the part that already knows it belongs, and why those two halves were never meant to fight. With a nod to Lil Durk on treating the mic like therapy and Steve Harvey on your 100 percent survival rate, it is an honest reset on self belief, confidence, and mindset.

Try this: next time you catch yourself asking why me, name three things you have already survived or accomplished, then let them answer why not me.

CHAPTERS
0:00 Hook
0:10 Treat the mic like therapy
1:06 Why me versus why not me
2:24 Does it have to be one or the other
3:08 Let your wins feed the belief
4:59 It was never a versus match
6:06 Your 100 percent survival rate
6:51 It was always just you

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CONNECT WITH CTC:
Website: https://ctcpodcast.media
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/conversations-that-count-a31f16a6-3131-4c8f-982f-19d52407e8eb/id1890348796
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3J6lZ10GvK07qCv3aQxnkR
LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/david-shaft

ALSO FROM DAVID SHAFT (voice):
Gildenmyth: https://gildenmyth.com
The Sleeping Almanac: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSleepingAlmanac
Kingdoms at Dusk: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTCouRuuI30LEwUdKIaOE5w

Follow Conversations That Count on Spotify and Apple Podcasts so you never miss an episode.
  • (00:00) - Why not me, the confidence you already earned
  • (00:10) - Treat the mic like therapy
  • (01:06) - Why me versus why not me
  • (02:24) - Does it have to be one or the other
  • (03:08) - Let your wins feed the belief
  • (04:59) - It was never a versus match
  • (06:06) - Your 100 percent survival rate
  • (06:51) - It was always just you

What is Conversations That Count?

Most professionals spend 80% of their workday communicating — and almost none have a system for getting better at it. Conversations That Count changes that.

Hosted by David Shaft — President's Club Banker at Rocket Mortgage, Dale Carnegie graduate, and Detroit storyteller — CTC delivers real conversations with executives, industry leaders, and everyday professionals who break down the communication skills that actually move careers forward.

New episodes every Tuesday and Thursday. Professional multi-camera video production on YouTube. Full audio on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

What you'll learn:
• Workplace communication: better meetings, tougher feedback, and difficult conversations that don't blow up relationships
• Public speaking and presentations: how to open strong, handle Q&A, and keep any room engaged
• Professional networking: small talk that leads somewhere, LinkedIn outreach that gets replies, follow-up that builds real relationships
• Storytelling: how to tell your story in 60 seconds and communicate with impact in any room
• Leadership communication: negotiation, influence, and the Dale Carnegie principles that still work today

CTC is syndicated on the Mission Matters Network and features professionals across automotive, finance, tech, healthcare, and Detroit's growing entrepreneurship scene — because great communication looks different in every industry.

Whether you're a mid-career professional chasing a promotion, a manager who needs to run better meetings, or anyone who wants to communicate with more confidence, credibility, and impact — this show was built for you.

Free resource: Download the free Communication Playbook — 10 frameworks, scripts, and exercises to help you communicate like a pro. Get it at: https://ctcpodcast.media/free-playbook

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube — and never miss an episode.

Stories That Stick. Skills That Scale.

David Shaft: You spent your entire life saying, why me?

Why should it be me?

You spent the entire life proving it.

Now, believe it.

Welcome everyone to Conversations That Count.

Now, I know normally we have someone

who either I'm interviewing

or I'm going over an interview that I did with them.

Well, today, what we're going to do instead is steal

a concept from one of the greatest artists

to ever make music, Little Dirk.

By that, I mean we're going to follow something he said

and it was treating the mic like therapy

because I talked to it.

And that's what I'm going to do with everyone here.

And that's what you're going to do with me.

We're going to have a therapy session together

and we're probably going to do this for a little while

and we're just going to go over different concepts,

different things that really sparked something in me

that I wanted to share with all of you.

The first one today is going to be a concept

of why me versus why not me.

So I bring this to you because I had a mentor

who I was talking to them about like the two halves of me

that feel like they're always fighting.

And that is why me, right?

The part of me that needs to prove why I should be here.

Why should I get a seat at the table?

And that's the part that's like,

oh, I always have to be winning.

I have to show the world why they should recognize me.

I have to be number one.

I have to make the most money.

I have to be the best looking, right?

The why me, why it should be me.

But then there's the other part of me.

And that's the why not me, right?

This is when you think of like when someone says delusional

or when you meet those people who like have delusional

beliefs of like, yeah, you know,

I'm gonna, it's gonna be me who does it

just because I said so.

Nothing else.

They have no proof, no evidence, nothing.

I wanna tap into this person.

So bad, the one that has nothing to prove,

but believes that they should have everything.

The just delusional confidence versus the confidence built

on shaky ground because it always has to be backed

by some type of evidence.

And I just kept like I kept talking to them about like,

how do I become this and stop being so much of this?

And they sat there for a brief second,

didn't say anything.

And they said why when they finally did speak

and they said, why does it have to be one or the other?

I didn't have an answer.

I don't know.

Why does it have to be one or the other?

It turns out it doesn't have to be one or the other.

Turns out it's something in the middle, right?

So, and it took me a minute to understand it.

And I was, after they froze for a second,

gave me that response.

I froze for what felt like hours

because I didn't know what to say back.

And it turns out that the why me, right?

The part of us that is like, man,

I have to show why I should be recognized.

I'm, you know, I've done these things.

I have these accomplishments.

If you can meet that why me with the why not me,

that delusional part that just says, you know,

what you deserve to be there regardless.

It turns out that all those things you did

while feeding the why me, feeding that ego,

feeding that shaky ground,

it should feed the why not me.

It should feed the delusion.

And is it really delusional?

If, when we really think back at all the accomplishments

we've had, all the things we've done,

all the people we've met, places we've been,

things we've seen, is anything really delusional?

Is any bit of it?

No.

I mean, there are people who have accomplished way less

and gotten way more.

But it doesn't change that all the why me's

that made you earn the first place

in your four by one in high school,

or maybe it's what made you move on

and get your own place at 18 or 16,

or maybe it's why you got that huge promotion at work

that you fought for,

or maybe you haven't gotten the promotion yet,

but it's everything you've done in the meantime,

where you should be delusional enough

to believe that you deserve the promotion.

All of that should meet in the middle,

and it should feed the why not me.

And once I really understood that it's all those things I did

that actually make the why not me

not even delusional anymore,

it just makes it what I should believe is possible.

And in fact, to believe anything less

than great things are possible

is an insult to all the times I said why me

and prove why it should be me,

to believe that it couldn't be me,

or to believe that even thinking more is possible,

that's a negative delusion that does nothing to power me,

does nothing to better me.

Once I understood that,

I understood that it was supposed to be somewhere

in the middle all along.

It was never supposed to be me,

never supposed to be why me versus why not me.

I can't make that any clear, right?

It's like I put this versus here,

and that was the problem.

I was fighting myself the entire time

when it was never supposed to be a versus match,

it was always supposed to be right in the middle.

I was supposed to have why me meet why not me.

And all the things that I've won and did and accomplished,

they're the exact same reason why it's not delusional

to believe that I can do more, or be more,

or get more, have more and accomplish more.

The only difference is,

you're doing more, having more,

being more and accomplishing more,

it can't just be to feed my ego

and to then always have me saying why me.

It's like those things are the things

that should make me delusional, even more delusional, right?

But they're the things that should make me believe

I can do even greater things.

So every time you think about all the things you've done

in your life, all the places you've been remember,

those are all the reasons that it should be why not me.

Steve Harvey has this thing, and I love it.

He says, you have 100% survival rate

for every single thing you've been through.

100%, no matter how crazy things you've been in your life,

you're still here in a life to tell about them.

So just because of that sheer fact,

you've survived 100% of the challenges that have arisen

is enough to be delusional and believe

that you can do and be more, whatever that is.

And be more doesn't mean, again,

it means you'd have to have more accolades, more awards,

it just means that you can have more

whatever it is that you want.

You just have to believe why not me

because you spent your entire life saying, why me?

Why should it be me?

You spent the entire life proving it.

Now believe it.

So it was never why not me versus why me.

It was always just most importantly,

it was always just you.

So thank you all for listening

to another Conversations That Counts episode.

I'm gonna work on continuing to give you

these quick fights, these quick realizations.

And thank you all for tuning in.

I hope you had therapy today, like I had therapy today.

Let's go out there, let's continue winning,

have fun, don't forget, leave a like, share, subscribe,

whatever platform you're listening or watching on

because we're on all of them.

We're on YouTube, Spotify, Apple, the whole nine yards.

So remember though, if you and us

cause now we're in this together, see you all later.

Thank you everyone for watching another episode

of Conversations That Count.

Sometimes what we find is YouTube will unsubscribe us

from our favorite channels, as well as when we finish

an episode, we'll have enjoyed it so much.

We'll forget to hit the subscribe button

because we'll be so caught up with it.

My ask is so that we can keep the channel free

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continue bringing you amazing practices

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as we go into every day and every week.

If you can hit that subscribe button,

if you can like, share, it goes a very long way

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allowing us to continue providing you amazing content.

And my promise is I will only continue

to improve the content, improve the guests

and improve the best practices every single time.

I will make sure every week and every month

that it only gets better for you.

So again, thank you all for tuning in.

Thank you for watching.

And I look forward to seeing you in the next episode.