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Welcome creatives! These are discussions, thoughts, case studies, interviews, and lessons about how our creativity relates to life. The host, Mr Benja, is a former video game programmer / designer for Rockstar Games, Sony Santa Monica, The 3DO Company, and others, as well as a fine artist. -- Be sure to check out the website for more.
Alright, well, almost messed it up again,
almost messed up the podcast again.
Oh my God, ladies and gentlemen, we
almost messed it up for the second time.
Um, if you don't know, uh, I'm, I'm
dealing with this new streaming platform
and I was playing around with some
of the buttons and I was not actually
recording the, uh, the seems very obvious.
It's less like, yeah,
just press record, but.
You can make mistakes and end up doing
stuff and it's not being recorded.
It's not being properly, properly saved.
So, but it wasn't bad.
It wasn't bad.
Only, only left about what?
15 minutes off of this
and I can do that again.
So no problem.
All right, let's restart.
Welcome.
This is creativity threads, life, a
new live audio podcast by myself, Mr.
Benja, and I am here to talk about.
The problems that we've been having with
resolutions, um, problems we've been
having with our creativity and coming
up with ways to actually make change.
And when you're trying to create
something, you're necessarily
going to create change.
So new years should be a very important
time for the creative person, for
the person trying to create something
different, because in this time of year,
you can stop, reflect on what you've done,
reflect on where you've been, and you can
actually start developing a new sense of.
Um, creative empowerment where you can
start developing your own internal,
internal push for lack of a better word.
And I think we've been sold
a lot of, a lot of myths.
And this comes from just living in
a corporate run society that tells
you, Hey, you need to be buying this.
You need to be doing this.
Don't worry about doing it yourself.
We got you for a small fee.
Don't worry about.
Trying to develop and
learn just outsource to us.
We'll buy, you know, we'll sell you the
solution for a small fee and that's fine.
And it definitely works to a certain
extent, but for the creative, I think
there's a, there's a place where we can
get to where we are doing a lot of things
on our own, we're operating independently,
it costs less, it's more effective and it
gives us more of the results that we want.
When we have certain things in
place that we know how to do.
And I'm not saying try to
do everything yourself.
I'm saying, be able to stand on your own.
There's a very big difference there.
A lot of people get that caught up.
So in this one, I wanted to go over
12 myths about resolutions that,
that may be holding you back, that
are holding a lot of people back.
And I spoke about this a little bit, a
couple, couple of days ago, but I want
to specifically identify these, um,
these myths and go after them one by one.
So if you've got any others that you think
that you think might need to be included,
please let me know and contact me through
email or however you listen to this.
And we'll go over them anyway.
Um, I'm down 15 minutes, so I'm not going
to go over the little bits of news that
I went through before, but I was just
talking about some things I had seen on
thread that were kind of interesting.
I guess I may save
those till the next one.
But anyway, 12 myths about resolutions.
Myth number one.
You actually want to change.
That is a myth.
That is false.
Many of us do not want to change.
And I've seen this.
We say we want a change, but what
we really want is a result that's
better than the current situation.
We want something
external to be effective.
We want something outside of us
to just give us a better result.
To give us better output.
To give us what we want.
And it's all about, hey, give me
this, give me this, give me this.
And while the world will give you
whatever you want, it will also buy you.
It will also, you know, buy your
freedom, buy your, um, buy your time,
take all these things away from you
in exchange for whatever little thing
that you think you're trying to get.
So, most people don't want change.
Most people don't want real change.
And, if you, if you tell that to
people, they're like, of course I
want real change, I want X, Y, and Z.
But, that's the change.
In the environment to
actually make a change.
You have to change inside.
You have to do something better.
You have to see the world differently.
You have to get more resources.
It's all going to come down to you.
Even if it is just you finding out
who can give you those resources,
it's something you've got to do.
And we spend so much time
complaining and arguing
or think about the world in a way that's
going to give you the results you want.
I am not one of these workaholic
types, although I do like to work.
You do not need to go crazy and.
You know, burn yourself out, but you
do need to take that responsibility
and get what you want in your own
life to change as opposed to trying
to figure out how to make other
other things change outside of you.
So yeah, that myth is that
you actually want to change.
Most people just want
things to stay the same.
Most people just want the world and
the environment to treat them better,
to have things be more favorable
for them instead of becoming a
person that attracts more favor.
In however they in whatever
way they decide to do that.
All right.
Number two, myth number
two for resolutions.
People want you to grow.
That is false.
People do not actually
care if you grow or not.
Most people are just want
you to kind of be happy and
smile and not be in their way.
They don't want any problems.
They don't want any guff.
They don't want any, they don't
want anybody crying around them.
They don't want anybody
yelling around them.
They just want things to kind of
be peaceful in their environment.
If you come in there with all your
Resolutions talking about you want
to change things and people like,
uh, is he actually trying to grow?
What's he trying to do?
You know, if he grows he's
gonna be taking up more space.
He's gonna be using more resources.
He's gonna be messing up the schedule
I mean maybe but most people don't
actually want you to grow because
when you grow You usually leave people
behind and most people don't want that.
Most people don't want to be left behind.
They don't want to get
into arguments and fights.
They just want to live life and be happy.
And if you're in their life, they just
want you to do whatever you do that brings
them joy, even if it's just sitting around
and smiling, watching TV on a Saturday
morning, whatever the case may be, if
you start to grow and get better, it's
necessarily going to shift your, your
outlook with other people and yeah, they
don't, people don't want you to grow.
Uh, it's not like they are trying
to actively stop you from growing,
but they don't want you to grow.
People aren't sitting up
saying, you know what?
I need to go make that
guy grow for, for them.
Not for me.
Number three, myth number three,
resolutions are the same as goals.
This is false.
This is a myth.
This is not true.
A lot of people get the idea that
they're going to set up some goal
and goals are not resolutions.
Goals are metrics that
you reach or don't reach.
They're usually quantifiable in some very
simple metric, um, went to the gym every
day in whatever, lost so many pounds,
gained so much money, did x, y, and z.
A goal is a very specific line across the
road that you have to cross at some point.
You make it there, you get called,
awesome, and your goal is done.
So what's a resolution?
A resolution is a state.
It's a, it's a resolute state that
you reach when you've decided to
live and behave a certain way.
You've made a resolve, you've resolved
ideas in your head and made a resolution.
You've become resolute.
You believe a certain thing.
You do this, you do more of
this, and you do less of that.
You're deciding a path and
trajectory for your life.
That's what it means to have a resolution.
You have a resolve and that's not
the same thing as a goal because
you can have, um, you can have a
goal like, Oh yeah, sure, whatever.
I'm going to do five pushups every
morning, but that has nothing to do with
a resolution of how you were going to be
and how you're going to lead your life.
A goal is often just a number and while
useful they don't speak anything to
a higher purpose or higher calling.
You get a goal and you may
reach it and still feel empty.
You have a resolution and you
decide, listen, I hurt my back
last year and It endangered my job,
which endangered my family, which
endangered my livelihood and so forth.
I need all of this to work together.
My, my parents wouldn't be proud of me if
they saw me just fall and crumble apart.
I'm getting out of shape.
You know what?
All these things are coming together
and this is just not who I am.
I am making a resolution to get myself
in a place where my physical fitness is
not a problem and it's not a hindrance to
me and I can get up every morning early.
Do what I have to do and get
to bed on time and not be
physically constrained by my back.
And that's a resolute attitude.
You started to make a resolution.
Um, I talked more exactly about what
resolutions are in the previous one.
Uh, I had four parts to a resolution.
But I made a six parter because
it expanded a little bit, but
yeah, resolutions are not goals.
If you're just sitting around making
goals, we need to, we need to correct
that a little bit, cause that's good.
Making goals is just going to get
you frustrated and making systems
may get you frustrated as well.
So this is not, um, the system
goals argument right off the bat.
Also number four.
The machine loves you.
I don't know.
I don't know where this myth.
I mean, I guess it's just been
kind of this insidious idea that
these large scale quote unquote
machines are here to help us.
And I'm talking about the
economic systems, the school
systems, the corporate systems.
You know, the, the social orders
in your city, all of these systems,
these machines that are working
to produce a certain result.
And you just happen to
be along for the ride.
I don't know where people get the,
it's this idea that the machine
really loves them as a person.
It's like, yeah, you go to your job,
but that job, I mean, it may treat
you nice and give you bagels in
the morning, but does it love you?
Does it really, really care about you?
There may be some people in there that
care about you, but the organization is
going to do what the organization does.
So.
Be forewarned.
It doesn't give a crap about you.
Doesn't really think much of you.
Doesn't want you to necessarily do better
unless that means the company does better.
So with that in mind, um, I wanted to
put that down as a myth about resolutions
because people assume that if they're
buying into all these ideas and these
plans and these These other systems that
are designed for the system to do well,
whatever system that is, that doesn't
necessarily translate into you doing well.
When you're making your resolutions,
you have to be worried about your set of
guidelines and you doing better and you
making change, not necessarily the system.
So, I know you guys have all seen
the meme where the person's putting
on the clown makeup and talking
about going to work or whatever.
It's like that.
You don't have to treat your job
badly, but go there and get what you
need out of the job because it is
not trying to do it actively for you.
Myth number five, one size fits all.
There seem to be a lot of assumptions
out there when, when marketers talk
to people, oftentimes they'll cast a
wider net than their target audience.
They'll say, Hey, if you're looking
for, if you're looking for, you
know, shiny, shiny skin and whatever
else, and looking, looking all
healthy and great, then follow me.
And you're like, well,
I'm not looking for that.
Oh, are you looking for, are
you looking to lose weight?
Well, I suppose it wouldn't hurt.
Okay.
Well, you come along with us too.
I thought this was for shiny skin.
No, no, no.
Come on.
You'll, you'll find great value
in this is what people do.
They, uh, they have an idea and they
say it's, it works for everybody.
Well, whatever the idea is, whatever
plan, whatever system, whatever five
step program that you get into or
whatever, these people build it to
make it sound like it'll work for you.
It may only work for 20 percent of the
people or 10 percent of the people, but
if they can take those 10 percent of the
people and amplify their voices, it makes
it sound like it works for everybody.
Any plan of growth is
going to be unique to you.
You may have people that work similarly
to you, but it's, it's primarily
something unique that you'll have to,
that you'll have to figure out yourself.
So do not believe that one size fits all.
Be ready to customize, be ready
to try to adjust situations
for your particular benefit.
And try not to follow along too
heavily with what someone else is doing
because that's what works for them.
And you need it to work for you.
Whatever your plan is,
whatever your ideas are.
Myth number six, smart
goals are smart for you.
I can do a whole thing on this one alone.
I probably will, but smart
goals can get you messed up.
Now, the idea behind smart goals and every
year somebody trots out this old meme, and
maybe this is because maybe this is one of
the reasons why people aren't really into,
into the resolutions as much, but they
believe smart goals are smart for you.
It may not work.
Like I said, for you, there are five
parts to this thing and they, they say
goals need to be specific, measurable,
actionable, realistic, and timely.
So we could take those one by one.
And we'll start obviously with, uh,
the smart, I mean, yes, specific.
So they say you need a very specific
idea of what you're going to do.
That doesn't work all the time
because sometimes you don't know
specifically what you need to do.
If someone says.
Hey, see that mountain way
out there in the distance.
I need you to go to the
top of that mountain.
You don't know specifically
how to get up there.
You're just going to be like, uh, okay.
If you sit around trying to figure out all
the specifics, you may never go anywhere.
You got to get in the car.
You got to drive.
You got to figure out, okay,
this road doesn't go there.
Oh, well, this, this area is blocked off.
Okay.
Well, I'll drive this far and
then I'll find directions.
I'll use my GPS and okay.
Well, GPS is kind of spotty out here.
Does anybody have a map,
et cetera, et cetera.
But you don't know, and people assume
with this specific that you just sit
down and you write out all the exact
steps that you need to get somewhere,
and then you just all of a sudden do
it, but life doesn't work like that.
Life is a lot more variable, it's a lot
more random, it's a lot more chance.
Even with something like working out
and losing weight, if you've ever worked
with trying to get to a certain level
of fitness, you'll start realizing
very quickly that you have a plan
that says, Well, let me eat, let me
eat this in the morning, eat this in
the evening and eat this at night.
And I'll go to the gym on these days.
About a week into it, you'll
notice that you need to make
adjustments like, Oh, wait a minute.
This isn't doing what I want it to do.
If I go work out this day, then
that means my legs are sore.
And that means.
The day after I won't be able
to walk around the job as much.
Okay.
Hold on a second.
Maybe I'll move leg day to another
day and then move this to that.
Okay, good.
That works out better.
All right.
And you just start adjusting and
moving things around and then
you start changing the plan.
But what happens is a lot of people think
they're supposed to be very specific
with their goals and they're so specific.
That anytime something goes wrong
or is out of order, they lose faith
and they say, well, it didn't work.
And it's like, no, you just
need to adjust the plan.
So don't, don't worry too much
about being specific, measurable.
Well, what does measuring even mean?
Do you, do you know like, okay, I'm
going to do a hundred pushups today.
Uh, okay.
I don't even know if that's a lot or
a little, what do you mean measure it?
Oh, sure.
Mark it down, write it down.
And then people say, you know, as
you measure something, you can.
Adjust your activity based on that.
And this works in a lot of cases.
The measurability does
work in a lot of cases.
So don't get me wrong here.
The measurement can also be a lie.
You know, about anything about
lying with statistics, you can
lie to yourself with numbers.
So be careful with just throwing
out a number and saying, yes,
if I do this 25 times, uh, the,
I'll, I'll get some result.
No, you may need to get the result
easier by doing it maybe less times.
Maybe you don't need to
go to the gym as much.
Maybe what you need is to change your diet
and it's like, oh yeah, that's better.
And you start measuring other
things that get you more towards
the result that you want.
Don't always measure what
you think you should measure.
Figure out what you're
going to need to measure.
And then even, even more important than
that about measuring is just make sure
you're going in the right direction.
As long as you're putting good
energy towards the right direction,
you probably won't need as
many measurements as you think.
Um, I remember who was it?
You know, it's like, does it matter
if you did, if you did, uh, if you
ran a mile or if you ran two miles?
If you didn't.
If you didn't sweat and you're
working on getting your cardiovascular
up, if your heart rate wasn't
up, then what did it matter?
So, switch your measurement from maybe
the running to getting the heart rate up.
Whatever, but don't get too caught up
in the measurements, um, just make sure
you're going in the right direction.
There's also the actionable part of it.
A lot of times you'll say,
well, what can you do?
Uh, can you, can you
really take action on this?
When you have certain goals, you
don't know what the action is.
You don't know how it,
how you plan to do it.
You just have to start somewhere.
So it can't always be
actionable, realistic.
Uh, the whole point of getting
somewhere where you don't know already.
The whole point of having a big goal is
you don't know that it's realistic or not.
In fact, you've heard a lot of people
say, you know, well, if I would have
known you weren't supposed to do
this or you couldn't do it this way,
then I wouldn't have started at all.
That's the whole thing about the
realistic part coming into play.
You want big goals.
You want it to be, you can get a lot
further just by going in that direction
and then finding out what's what's
appropriate for you to accomplish
rather than what's more realistic.
Will you get a six pack?
Maybe, maybe not, but you got a four pack.
Okay.
Or maybe you got a, a pack, a pack
of hot dogs instead of a, you know,
six pack of beer, you know, whatever.
Instead of a six pack of cans,
you got a, you got a pack, a
pack of bread rolls or something.
Maybe you're getting there.
You know, so don't, you don't always
worry about being a realistic.
You'll get somewhere.
All right.
And timely, you know, sometimes timely
is timely is also a problem because
you put a time limit on something
and it might not mean anything.
You know, somebody who comes in,
I want this done by this date
and dah, dah, dah, dah, dah.
Like, all right, man, calm down.
Uh, we're very specific.
We've got all this stuff lined out.
We're, you know, being smart about it.
Specific, measurable, actionable,
realistic, timely, and all that jazz
and stuff still doesn't work out.
If you've ever worked in any
large scale development, you know
how much stuff gets adjusted.
No one knows how long
something is going to take.
Now, if you have a, if you have a time
limit on yourself, that's good to keep
you from spinning off into oblivion.
But don't get too wrapped up in time.
Cause once again, with any of these,
if you're setting them up with your
resolutions and remember this, this
is, this is a lot why it doesn't work
because we're talking about smart goals.
And earlier on, I told you
goals are not resolution.
So this is why smart doesn't
necessarily work with your resolutions.
If you say you're going to do something
in six months, things change, then
you've got to change your whole plan.
You may need to do it in.
Nine months.
You may need to do it in one month.
Things, things change.
So myth number seven, January is special.
So you really don't need to get
on this kick with, with doing your
resolutions and doing your wishes,
dreams, objectives, et cetera.
You don't really need to do it in January.
So what is, what is, what is worth it?
In January that makes us
do it in January beginning.
It's the beginning of the year.
It's a good calendar time It's
uh, let's get things started.
Boom.
This is the day we get things started,
but I feel like people have turned January
into the Monday of the entire year where
they just don't want to get started.
They just don't want to try.
They feel bad, not ashamed about it.
And it's like, Oh, here's another year.
2023 was so bad.
2022 was so bad.
2019 was so bad.
A lot of people get upset over
this stuff, which is unfortunate.
If we can get to a place where.
If we can get to a better place,
I think we can start looking at
January again as a fresh start.
What's up, J Ron?
What's up, Coco?
Or Cece, I'm sorry.
Just going through the things
I've been doing lately.
Starting something up for the new year.
It's a remix of what I was doing before.
And so yes, January can be
special, but there is nothing
inherently special about January.
A lot of people seem to use that as
like an excuse to not do anything.
It's like, hey, what are you going
to do this year for your resolutions?
Somebody kind of, kind of got upset
and turned to me and was like,
There's nothing special about January.
It's like, okay, what are
you going to do in February?
What are you going to do in March?
What are you going to do in April?
People sitting around not doing
anything important, complaining
that January is nothing special.
It's like, well, make,
make one day special.
Why would you make any day special?
It's just a good way to look around
and get caught up, get some of
the energy from the environment.
One of the reasons I like the new
year is because when people say,
you know, Hey, you're being weird or
why are you doing things this way?
And they're looking at you funny.
It's like, Hey, it's new year
trying some new things out.
And they're like, Oh, okay.
Oh, it's new year's trying
some new things out.
And they let you go.
You'd be, you'd be amazed how,
how well this can actually work.
You just tell people, yes, new year,
trying some things out for resolutions.
They're like, oh, okay.
And they kind of nod at
you and look at you funny.
If you do that for
enough times in January.
Then by the time February rolls around
and you're still doing it, they'll
probably forgotten all about the
whole trying something new thing.
And they'll just leave you alone.
Now, if you try something new at the,
any other time of the year, you might
get caught up with some, listen, I know
you're trying to do something new, but
I don't care because it's the middle of
October and I need X, Y, and Z from you.
And you're talking about some life change.
I don't need to hear that.
That's a lot of the back.
That's a lot of the pushback
that you're going to get.
But when you do it in January,
people are like, Okay, I understand.
You're trying to get better.
It's January.
New Year's.
Whatever.
And they figure it'll just go away.
So, use January to its advantage.
But remember, nothing is
special about January.
So, I actually say that more to the
people who believe that January is like
making a wish or, you know, flipping
a coin in a, in a, in a fountain.
I think change is going
to happen like that.
And it's not at all.
All right.
Myth number eight
day timer planner that
they got from office Depot.
Or they got some special fancy 12 month
long life map from some guru online.
They spent 47 on comes leather bound
with a nice little gold ribbon.
They think if they have
that, they'll get it right.
No matter what, if you've got a goal
that's worth anything, that's worth any
type of size that has any type of impact.
You will not get it right.
The idea is not to get a big goal,
or a big objective, or to conquer,
or to reach your, your trajectory.
The whole point is not to get it right.
The whole point is to get it understood,
and to make it part of your life.
Like, if you've got the resolve to,
to live healthier, because you're
getting, you feel yourself getting sick.
And you want to be around for your
children or your grandchildren
to hit certain milestones.
Talked to this one person, they were
just like, high school graduation
was really important to them.
And they were like, I got to be around
for my grandkids high school graduation.
That's just, I, that's a fact
I have to be around for it.
I can't be, that person was saying,
I can't be sitting at home in bed
or in the hospital bed when my,
when my grandkids are, you know,
in high school and graduating.
And that, that person had
resolved to get healthy.
Didn't just have a goal of some number.
They were like, no, listen, I'm going
to get up, put on my Ross dress for
less track pants, walk around the block.
I'm going to start getting back in shape.
I'm going to start feeling
better about myself and we're
going to make this thing work.
And I was like, you know what?
That guy, that guy, that guy has resolved.
He's made a resolution to
actually do a little better.
I don't know whatever happened
to it, but smoking drinking
or whatever that he was doing.
Maybe he stopped.
I don't know.
I don't know.
The whole point is about getting it right.
There is no getting it right.
You just have a trajectory, an idea,
and you go along that path, and you
start trying to work and figure it out.
And you have the resolve to
keep doing that until the very
last day of the current year.
If you can do that, if you can keep
your resolutions going and have the
resolve to continue them all the way
through until the end of the year,
then you have a real resolution.
It's not just some goal that
you hit and magically vanishes.
It's a way of life, it's a change,
and you're not going to get it right.
You thought you should be going
to the gym every, every week or
three times a week or whatever?
Well, what if you get to March
and you're like, This is stupid.
I should not be going to the gym.
I should be riding my
bike through the park.
That still wasn't working out for me.
You know what I need to do?
I need to be jogging.
It's like, all right, well, go
grab some running shoes and at some
point you'll get it right for you.
But the idea that you just going to
write down something on a sheet of
paper and say, yeah, I have it right.
No, you're going to write it down.
You're going to come back a week,
two weeks later and be like, Hmm,
I need to change something here.
You're going to alter it and
you're going to keep changing it.
And it's going to change throughout
the end of the year until whatever
you've resolved to do works out.
That's how you do it.
All right.
Myth number nine and let me know
how you guys are doing with this.
As I said, I'm on a kicking it out to
Instagram, YouTube, and Facebook here.
Shout out to the Facebook community.
I like Facebook.
Not as much nonsense out there,
especially, uh, if you actually know
how to manage your privacy settings.
Once again, sorry for the sniffles.
I think I was around some
bullshit, some nonsense earlier
and I am allergic to bullshit.
Alright, myth number nine.
The secret is out there.
This is a big one.
There is no secret that's just sitting out
there waiting on somebody to figure out.
There is.
There are tips, there are tricks,
there are special things you can do.
And yes, there are in fact,
pieces of information and ways of
doing things that are withheld.
If we're talking about a secret,
the way people think about it,
like if you know this one thing,
you'll be able to drastically
change your life for the better.
A lot of times you're just
getting sold on something.
You're just getting sold a bill of goods.
You're getting sold a cheap product.
You're getting involved in some get
it quick scheme where that's get
money quick or get results fast.
You should get results fast,
but when someone's selling you
on results, they usually try to
sell you off with some nonsense.
And they usually base it around a secret
or I know something you don't know.
Um, is there some secret gym formula?
It's like, well, you got to figure
out what works for you, but I don't
think some, some guy in the gym is
I'm going to walk in and he's going to
say, you know what, if you wear these
socks and you get here at exactly.
You know, 4 a.
m.
and you eat two muffins and do this,
you'll, you'll, you'll lose weight.
It's like, Oh, really?
That's the secret.
It's like, yeah, it's a secret.
It's like, get the hell out of my face.
It's not a secret.
Nobody's got secrets like that.
The secret is that you need to get
some resolve and figure this stuff out.
Whatever works for you
is going to work for you.
All right.
Myth number 10.
You're going to like it.
Um, they make a lot of stink about
actually liking improving and you need
to reframe your idea of what like is.
A lot of people think when they say they
like something, that means they enjoy it.
And this is a weird one.
It's like, do people really enjoy
going to the gym and getting sweaty?
That actual act.
I mean, I know a lot of
people respect the challenge.
I played flag football, and I did band.
I was in karate for a little while.
And a lot of these things I didn't enjoy.
But, and this is a hard one
here because when people say,
well, nobody really enjoys,
because I do enjoy the challenge.
I enjoy pushing myself.
I enjoy figuring out how I'm going to grow
with these things, how I'm going to learn
more, and how I'm going to get better.
Who likes doing homework?
It's like, well, some
people do like learning.
Some people do enjoy, you know,
hard work, labor, sweating.
It's, but that's not the point.
The point is you're not going to enjoy
it in the same way that you enjoy
buying a, uh, buying an ice cream cone.
It's a different kind of enjoyment.
And I don't have a word for it because
whatever word I have for it is not
going to be the word you have for it.
Maybe you want it to be fulfilled.
You know, maybe you want meaning.
Maybe you want respect.
Maybe these are other factors that
make sense for your resolutions.
If you've resolved to keep your family
together this year, the things you do
aren't necessarily going to be enjoyable.
You may have to get up earlier to, you
know, set the mood of the house first.
You know, make sure that the TV's not on,
everything is clean, everybody's ready.
That may be Your task you may not quote
unquote enjoy what you're doing, but
you should take pride in it You should
be content with doing what you're doing
So this idea of liking needs to change
and this is a little much much deeper
discussion I'm not gonna get into here
But whatever you're being sold when
someone runs up to you with their 32
planner and their you know, fancy New
Year's resolutions, plans, or whatever.
Usually, it's a bunch of nonsense, just
trying to get you energized and hyped up.
Like one of those motivation
videos that just says, Just do it!
You gotta get up in the
morning and work hard!
God loves you!
And, yeah, okay.
You need to accept there's going to be
some difficulties and challenges here.
And if any of this doesn't make any
sense, Make sure you throw, throw
me a comment or send me a message.
If you're not on my mailing list,
I'm going to be mailing these out.
So you'll be able to read them there.
And of course I'll have
it on the podcast later.
All right.
Myth number 11.
We're only doing 12 of
these, so I'm almost through.
Myth number 11.
Everything will happen all at once.
People get this idea that because
we've been sold so much growing up,
we've been sold, like, hey, you put
something in the microwave and you can
pop it out in a minute, it'll be great.
You go to the store, buy, buy whatever you
need, your food, and it comes right away.
You know, you order something
from Amazon, you can get it
same day, just for a small fee.
It's like, this is, this
is pretty amazing stuff.
And people have taken that idea and
making it, and they've made it to
where they feel like they're getting
the same thing with, they should get
the same things with their lives.
Like, well, Hey, if I want a six pack,
I should get it pretty instantly.
It's like, ah, not so much.
Cause even if you do have some sort
of surgery or whatever, and you
get the six pack you want, it's not
going to be, it's not you, it's just.
It's just an alteration.
You know, some people say, well, if
I just put on these fancy clothes,
then I'll be part of this club.
And it's like, not, not really.
It's going to be hard for you to be
part of that club just by putting
on the clothes that they wear.
When you go to, you're not a part
of the army just because you get to
wear a uniform, you get to wear a
camouflage and have your name, you
know, your name badge and everything
that doesn't make you part of the army.
You got to go through work.
You got to change.
You got to, you got to done, been
injured in bootcamp at some point,
you know, dislocated something.
It's going to take some work.
And when it thing about work is
it doesn't happen all at once.
And we've got this idea that
it does that sometimes when
we're thinking about things.
Something traumatic may happen,
or something, something may build
up, right, where it just seems
like it happens all at once.
Where suddenly, suddenly, and maybe,
I don't know if any of you have
children, but if your kid has been
drinking out of a juice cup, I mean
if kid has been drinking out of a
bottle, and suddenly they don't want
the bottle anymore, they want the cup.
Oh, suddenly they want the cup.
What happened?
I don't know.
He didn't want the cup.
He was drinking the bottle, and one day
that kid just decided to drink the cup.
Or one day kid just
decides, you know what?
I'm going to take showers from now on.
No more baths.
You know, sometimes kids decide this,
sometimes parents decides, whatever.
But a lot of times, you know, the change
that we're talking about inflicting upon
ourselves, and yes, I said inflicting,
it doesn't happen all at once.
There's usually a process where you
have to slowly start adjusting things.
You have to.
Even if you do something for an entire
month, does it change your personality?
So it switches over very appropriately,
not very quickly, but appropriately,
like you actually are changed.
Not that you're just doing the things
that make you look like you've changed.
And that's, and maybe that's
why a year is a good amount
of time to have a resolution.
Because to really solidify this thing
that you call change, you need to be
doing it for more than a week, more than
a month, more than a quarter of the year.
You need to make it a way of life.
So if it does, if something does happen
all at once, like, like, let's say, I
don't know, let's say you're smoking
and you know, you cough up some, you
cough up some, some black phlegm with a
little blood attached to it, and maybe
some chunks of flesh from your lungs.
You're like, I just coughed that up.
What the hell is that?
That may scare you enough to stop you
and, and change happens all at once.
Yes, sure.
But even then you probably saw
warning signs leading up to that
point and you just decided to
make the decision at that moment.
So whatever happens, it usually
doesn't happen all at once.
If it does take the energy and
ride with it, but if it doesn't
keep at it, um, we're looking
for a small incremental changes.
And last one, and I'll
be done for this day.
Myth number 12, it'll all
be over at some point.
Whatever you're going
through, that's part of you.
It happens, it, whatever was happening
to you, Sorry, whatever's happening
to you, whatever is happening,
what's been going on, this idea
that if you have a resolution,
suddenly things are going to be over.
Like, let's say you have a resolution to,
I'm going to become the type of person
that gets full respect at the office.
Because you've been getting
disrespected at the office.
Let's just say, for example,
they've been disrespecting you.
You came from another team.
They moved you into this team
and this team works differently.
So.
While you were quiet and trying to figure
things out, they started disrespecting
you, but this year you say, Hey, I'm
going to get more respect in the office.
I'm going to become the type
of person that is respected.
This is my resolve.
And you think once you hit that certain
point, it'll be all over one day.
No, you could be doing just great.
You could be getting all
the respect you want.
And you're like, wow, I'm
finally standing up for myself.
This is awesome.
I can relax.
It's all over.
And then some person in the
grocery store disrespects you.
And now you're like, you're
now you're triggered.
You're having flashbacks to work.
And it's like, Oh my gosh,
it's like I'm at work again.
Someone's trying to disrespect me.
Who's this guy?
It'll never be over because well,
in this situation, being over was
trying to think that no, you'll
never be disrespected again.
Well, if that bothers you before, it'll
just bother you again, unless you address
the fact that you've been bothered or
you're being bothered or can be bothered.
But in general, these things
don't tend to leave us.
We tend to.
outgrow them, if that makes any sense.
Like, did you actually
get better?
I mean, did you actually have
problems with something as a child
and then you completely outgrew it?
That can happen,
but those parts of you still
exist and maybe somebody can
trigger it in another way.
Point is a lot of this, a lot of
what we think is a holding us back or
what we are and we're trying to grow
out of, it doesn't completely leave.
It just, we just get better.
So a lot of people get very troubled.
Like if they haven't had.
If they haven't had, um, you know,
they've been working on their weight,
let's say everyone loves talking
about weight during the new year.
You know, they've been
doing good with food.
They haven't been eating like a fat pig.
They stopped going to all these
restaurants and then they're out
late one night and they're like,
man, all the grocery stores closed.
It's late.
I got to get home.
Then you get a, then you get a text from,
from somebody at your house saying, Hey,
listen, don't worry about picking up food.
We got some pizza.
That's the last thing you want.
But when you get home and
you open up that door.
And you smell that pizza, your
old self, who may or may not have
been a fat ass, just sits back
and smells that pizza and is like,
God dog it, that smells delicious.
So suddenly you backslide.
You start gobbling up pizza, it's got the
cheese filled crust, you start dipping
the cheese filled crust in the garlic
sauce, you take out some Coca Cola, you
start just, you start just tearing it up.
And then somebody walks by
with a box of cookies, it's
like, hey, you want a cookie?
You're like, yes.
It's not over.
It's usually not always over.
We just get better at it.
That's what I'm saying.
So yes, you can control your cravings.
Yes.
You can control all these
things, but is it over shrug?
It doesn't have to be.
It might be for all intents and purposes.
It might be, or it might not be.
It doesn't matter.
Don't get in.
Don't get too, too worried about whether
something is or isn't completely gone.
Just worry about that.
You're making improvement.
So those are the myths.
Those are the things
that hold people back.
Um, be sure that you're following along on
Facebook or wherever you like to connect.
I'll be on here some,
some days of the week.
So in the afternoon, I'm going
to keep trying to do these.
So let's just go over them again.
Uh, really quick one.
You actually want to change too.
Myth number two, you want,
people want you to grow.
Myth number three, resolutions are goals.
False.
Myth number four, the machine loves you.
Myth number five, one size fits all.
Myth number six, smart
goals are smart for you.
Myth number seven, January is special.
Myth number eight, you'll get it right.
Myth number nine, the secret is out there.
Myth number 10, you're going to like it.
Myth number 11, everything
will happen all at once.
And myth number 12, it'll
all be over one day.
Ladies and gentlemen, these are the
things, the thoughts, the ideas to
watch out for the myths that you
should be, be looking to circumvent
to get around in your, in your search
for strong resolutions and a strong
2024, uh, going to be keeping on this.
On this train in the next couple
of days, we've got more to talk
about in terms of resolutions.
No one's talking about
resolutions this year.
So I'm going to keep talking about them.
I'm going to make sure that
I'm doing what I can do.
And if you're, if you're trying to
grow with that, please leave a comment.
Um, check my website
for the, for the email.
Et cetera, et cetera.
And that's going to do it for this one.
I am Mr.
Benjamin with creativity threads life.
Be sure to check this out on your
favorite podcast, stream, Apple
podcast, Spotify, or wherever else.