The Vision Architect

Most financially successful people eventually ask a deeper question: after the money is made, how do I build a life that actually feels worth living? Eric Thurber, founder of Three Bridge Wealth Advisors, spent 30 years helping first-generation entrepreneurs and venture capitalists answer it. In this conversation he shares how farm-bred work ethic, deliberate self-awareness, and a team aligned around excellence, partnership, and integrity create the conditions for both wealth and meaning.

The episode moves beyond spreadsheets and asset allocation. Eric reveals the advice he gives wealthy clients: define what money is really for before optimizing it, make decisions from abundance rather than scarcity, and prepare emotionally and financially for the market punches that always arrive. He also opens up about the hard choice to give back a multi-seven figure retention check, the values that guided it, and how he keeps a high-demand practice sustainable for his team—remote work, energy rituals, and a strict refusal to let eighty-hour weeks define success.

Listeners will come away with practical tools: a gratitude journaling practice, a framework for asking 'what is money for?,' and permission to build a life where time, energy, and purpose matter more than the next dollar.

Highlights
  • Ask clients what money is for first; answers center on security, family, and independence.
  • Returning a multi-seven figure retention check built an independent firm clients could trust.
  • First-generation wealth creators combine education, passion, calculated risk, and a vision others can join.
  • Prepare for the inevitable 50% market drop before it happens—plans die without preparation.
  • Sustain performance with energy habits: 90-minute workouts, saunas, gratitude, and meditation.
  • Design the firm for balance so you can still love the work at 75 without 80-hour weeks.

Important Concepts and Frameworks
  • Life Well Lived — The goal of integrating wealth with purpose, values, family, balance and independence.
  • Generation One (G1) — First-generation wealth creators who built fortunes from nothing rather than inheriting them.
  • Zone of Genius — Work combining strengths and passions; Eric found it after realizing law’s detail wasn’t for him.
  • Energy Management — Sustaining physical, mental and relational energy so neither work nor personal life gets sacrificed.
  • Scarcity vs. Abundance — The mental shift from worrying about lack to noticing enough and acting generously with wealth.

Tools & Resources Mentioned
  • The Five Minute Journal — A gratitude journaling practice Eric's coach recommended; he says it is simple but incredible over time.
  • FFA & 4-H — Youth programs that gave Eric leadership, speaking and farm-project experience from high school.
  • FarmHouse — Education fraternity at University of Nebraska known for strong GPAs and Ivy League-bound peers.

Calls to Action
  • Ask yourself: "What is the most important thing about money to me?" before adding another investment.
  • Begin a gratitude practice tonight by writing three things you're grateful for before bed.
  • Audit your week for one energy drain you can remove and one energy source you can protect.
  • Write the risks you can plan for and the actions you would take if markets drop 50% tomorrow.

Key Quotes
  • "I gave multi-seven figure check back to a bank to do what we do today." — Eric Thurber
  • "Everybody's got a plan till they get punched in the face." — Eric Thurber
  • "How do I live a more abundant life, and how does that show up behaviorally?" — Simon Vetter
  • "I am immensely grateful for my life and my relationships and where I am today." — Eric Thurber

Chapters

00:00 — A Life Worth Living, Not Just a Financial Plan
01:24 — Daily Work Ethic Lessons From a Nebraska Farm
04:35 — Discovering What You Don't Want to Do Early
07:29 — Why He Returned a Multi-Seven Figure Check
11:14 — Firm Values: Excellence, Partnership, and Integrity
13:20 — What First-Generation Wealth Creators Actually Share
16:51 — The First Question Every Wealth Plan Should Answer
19:42 — Preparing the Plan for the Market's Punch
21:45 — Designing the Firm Around a Sustainable Life
38:17 — Ending in Growth Mode, Not Finish Lines


This Episode's Guest:

Eric Thurber

About the Host

Simon Vetter

Creators and Guests

Host
Simon Vetter
Simon Vetter, known as The Vision Architect, is an international executive coach, professional speaker and author of "Leading with Vision". He helps leaders create crystal-clear vision and practical execution, aligning teams and accelerating performance. His work is trusted by organizations including AbbVie, Cisco, Lennar, Microsoft, Qualcomm, and Siemens. Born in Switzerland and shaped by 27+ years in San Diego, Simon blends Swiss precision with Californian innovation: pragmatic, energizing and actionable for real-world leadership pressure.

What is The Vision Architect?

The Vision Architect is the podcast about crafting bold, aspiring futures that inspires lasting change. It is for leaders facing pivotal moments or crucial challenges - those crucible experiences where big decisions shape the future. Each episode is filled with stories, ideas and tools to intentionally design a meaningful path forward, gain clarity amid uncertainty, and ignite the courage needed for enduring change. It's a powerful conversation about what's next - for your life, career, team, and organization.

[video] VISION 215 - Eric Thurber
===

[00:00:23] Simon Vetter: Welcome to another episode of The Vision Architect. I am delighted to have Eric Thurber today, for the interview. He has a really interesting remarkable background. He grew up in Nebraska, ended up, studying law at Harvard, ended up at Wall Street, and now he runs a very successful wealth management company in, Silicon Valley, working with, entrepreneurs, b- business owners, managing their wealth.

And we talk about the intersection about how do you plan a life well-lived that aligns wealth with purpose and values to really create a future that is worth living. So Eric, welcome

[00:01:07] Eric Thurber: Thank you, Simon. Nice to be here

[00:01:09] Simon Vetter: Let's dive into your background. You grew up in rural Nebraska on a farm. What did life there teach you, and what are some values and beliefs that, you acquired early in your life?

[00:01:24] Eric Thurber: Yeah. I think it was a very simple place to grow up. I grew up, just south of Lincoln. We had about 60 acres. We had cattle, sheep, pigs, corn, soybeans. We raised a little bit of alfalfa so we could feed the sheep for the winters. and we also had a farm that created enough, vegetables that kind of we were self-reliant out there.

and a the farm doesn't, work itself. Every day we had to get up and we had to fix fence and feed sheep and do all the things that maintain,a farm like that. And it taught us, the daily work ethic, importance of that, and also community. You know, you can't do it alone.

There's a lot of times when, you know, your alfalfa needs to get in, you have other people that need to come over and get that in before the rain comes in. There's lots of sorts of things there around small town and community that was really important to me that, when I left the farm, was, not as, easily, found.

And so that was,some of the, things I learned early. I was fortunate enough that, both my grandparents were farmers, both my great-grandparents farmers, but both of my parents went to college, and then my father became a veterinarian and my mother was a nurse, so they really highlighted the importance of education, which I think was unique out there.

Both my, brother and sister, are, in the medical field, have, post-graduate degrees. And, so it was kind of learned early to educate yourself and, my story is, my first financial kind of learning was in the f- at 14, my first FFA project was we bought four cattle- And I had to do the books, to buy the cattle.

I don't know how much we bought them for. We had to feed them. We had to take care of them. one of them got pink eye. I'm a fortunate, my father's a veterinarian, so he could fix that problem, but almost lost one of the four. And about a year later, we sold them, and, I did the books, and, we had made $3.99 in a year, and that was without the cost of labor.

So I sat with my father, and what was our learning? Well, my father told me that the learning is don't be a farmer.

[00:03:18] Simon Vetter: Yeah

[00:03:19] Eric Thurber: It's a hard business. And, so, you know, I think the importance of what I learned is, even though we grew up in a place where I was feeding cattle and pigs and sheep every day, there was an importance of learning and educating yourself and trying to, to develop and better yourself.

So that was kind of the thing I probably learned was maybe uniquely, from my family growing on the farm. Uh,a lot of the first steps I think a lot of people make is very simple. You go to college, and I went to college 15 miles from home, and my, I was in the top of my class, and I was fortunate enough to get scholarships to pay for my education in college.

But, youmy application was a half a page long. I signed. It said you're, accepted to University of Nebraska. It wasn't a hard process for me. but you know, at Nebraska, I think my unique learning was I surrounded myself with people that were trying to excel, and I was in a fraternity called FarmHouse that was an education fraternity.

Top GP on campus for last hundred years or so. And,I saw guys coming out of seniors that were going to graduate schools at Ivy Leagues and, and doing things that, and also encouraging excellence. And so that showed me possibility. an individual a year above me in that class went to Harvard Law School.

I was fortunate enough, to graduate and do well enough, with leadership and the, and the like to be accepted to Harvard Law School. So that was probably the biggest

[00:04:33] Simon Vetter: how did you get accepted at Harvard?

[00:04:35] Eric Thurber: think it was just learning that trying to develop the values, develop the daily habits to achieve was a big piece of that.

And then, Harvard Law School was interesting because it was my first real challenge. when I got there, I didn't know what I wanted to do when I graduated college, I think was the challenge. And I was really i- interested, in studying economics and finance. and I thought that that would be a really interesting next level education when I realized I didn't want to be a lawyer.

and my learning was, what my zone of genius and what I'm good at, is probably not in the detail of the law. And, that was about three weeks into law school, so I had a real challenge of what am I gonna do? I ended up then spending the time in law school spending time at the business school and pursuing education in finance, and I was fortunate that my summer interns were at Wall Street.

Salomon Brothers, learning, about Wall Street and learning about trading and learning about finance. And so I was fortunate that I was able to do that while in law school, and maybe a lot of those challenges were I learned what I didn't want to do, right? On Wall Street, I learned I didn't want to be a trader.

I didn't want to be in the daily market of that. And there was a lot of learnings that I thought things I might want to do, but as I learned more, I kinda got to what am I good at? What are my passions? What are my zones of genius, and how do I integrate that in what I want to do professionally? And that's where I found the wealth management business and ended up sitting with a guy, I guess, when I was 22 in that internship that was running money for some of the wealthiest families in New York.

And I just saw the integration of the complexity of finance with the personal relationships, and it just hit for me So that's kind of the beginning of my career, 22, was to say, you know, "This is what I wanna do. I wanna, work with innovators and wealthy wealth creators." And, when I made that decision, it made fairly clear to me that the people I wanted to work with were people in Silicon Valley, you know, working with innovators, disruptors, wealth creators.

sure that there's investment bankers in New York with significant wealth, but, nothing wrong with investment bankers in New York, but I really had a, a desire to integrate and work with people that were creating and building and doing things kind of next generation. And so that was interesting to me.

So with all of that, you know, it's a kind of an unusual career, graduating law school. I never practiced law. I went directly into what I do today, which is doing private wealth advisory for ultra-wealthy clients. so, that's a little bit of the background, and some of the learnings along the way, I think it's around self-reflection and, more self-awareness.

I think all along the way, if I'd have had more self-awareness, maybe would've made different decisions. I'm very happy with the decisions I made, but, there were critical points there where I think more self-awareness might've been more clarity

[00:07:11] Simon Vetter: So you went on to wealth management very early on, and then you worked with some of the biggest, names, in New York. But then 2009 you started your own firm. You co-founded,Three Bridge Wealth Advisors. How did you come up and how do you decide to become your own entrepreneur?

[00:07:29] Eric Thurber: Mm-hmm. I don't think I was intending to be an entrepreneur too far in advance of that. know, we'd built our team, our practice, at a bank for a number of years, um, building relationships and, financial crisis happened. And that was a big moment for us. one was, the firm we were at offered our team multi-seven figure retention checks to stay, which would've been the first time when you grew up on a farm in Nebraska, I'd had any real money or security around money.

you're paying off law school loans and trying to make it all the way along, and that would've been that moment. And, my partners and I decided at that moment it was the right time to start an investment firm, because we felt like to do the right thing for our clients for the long run and to have the kind of relationships we want with clients intergenerationally and to be able to be the truly trusted counsel, we, we needed to make this decision.

But it also means that I sold my house, I sold my car, and I moved to the studio apartment, and I gave multi-seven figure check back to a bank to do what we do today. So part of that is, is believing in what we were building and what, how important it was to do it independently. but also then taking advantage of an opportunity, which was a financial crisis where there was challenges in the infrastructure and we decided to make decisions, maybe hard decisions for us, and hard decisions for probably a decade or more versus taking a check and kind of being able to be easy.

We made hard decisions for us that we felt was right for our clients and what we wanted to build in the future. So that was a big kind of moment for us and for, and looking back on that, it was the best decision we ever made, but taking that risk was very hard. And you start a firm in the middle of the worst financial crisis, since the '20s.

and a firm where you're doing very well, and you have no idea whether you're gonna have clients or whether you're gonna have a firm, whether you can keep the lights on. So that was a kind of you jump off the end of the pool and not sure if there's any water in it.

[00:09:24] Simon Vetter: So you really, really took a lot of risks there, but you also had this belief, and I think the vision for the future is a belief about doing the right thing and, and about the future that is better than what you have experienced. What were some of the beliefs that made you decide to start investment firm in, in, the real hard phase of the economy?

[00:09:49] Eric Thurber: the biggest thing was around how do we align what we do with our values and with the values of our clients, make sure that we are on the same side of our clients. I mean, it's so important to be the trusted counsel. You know, our, our mission is to, transcend the fiduciary role, right?

And we're a fiduciary for our clients. But this decision was really kind of a heart-based decision around how to do this the right way for our clients on the go forward. so that was kind of a true north, which is we wanna do this the right way, we wanna do it in the best way possible, and that may require us to have some sacrifices of t-time, pleasures, and comforts in the near term to make it happen.

and I think it changed... And again, we started the firm. We also, even though we didn't have clients, we decided we were only gonna, we're gonna build a process where we only work with clients where we're a great fit and we add substantial value. So we built a process to make sure that we integrated only clients that were a great fit for us and we're a great fit for them.

So we built processes to help us with that. But, part of that also was then focusing on who we work with, how we do it, what we do for them, and we focused on our first generation entrepreneurs and VCs, Silicon Valley wealth creators, which we've been working with for decades, but how do you build the right team, services, approach, process in order to provide a, world-class service for those particular people and families?

[00:11:08] Simon Vetter: You mentioned values. What are the values, the p- your personal values, the values of your firm?

[00:11:14] Eric Thurber: Yeah. Well, we have three within the f- firm that we've kind of outlined. One is excellence. excellence is in the what do we do every day to make us better? How do we make it both as an individual and as a firm? Excellence is just how we think about, the daily living, and I think excellence is not, so- it's in the everyday processes that we create that help us create excellence over time.

second is partnership. You know, we're in partnership with our clients, we're in partnership with our investment managers, we're in cl- we're in partnership with our, our team members. Partnership is so important. It's, And long-term relationships, they're the key to our, our firm and to, to everything that we do, and it's such an important thing is building long-term relationship, but that's, partnership.

And integrity, If you really think about, you know, we're in the trust business and, we are, trying to create a solution for people where they don't worry, where they can sleep well at night. And so integrity and being, you know, uh, uh, is integral. So, and I think about my own values.

I, they're aligned with those. we try to create a firm that's aligned with that. And w- beyond that, I think what's important in our firm as you think about this life well-lived is we've also created an organization... Now, this took us some time, and we can talk about, you know, we didn't do this initially.

We've been in this business for 17 years. The first seven, I think we were running and I don't think we had all that aligned. We had to come back and redo this, so can chat about, the challenges, but I think I probably learned more from challenge than from success. And, building those mission, vision values, and then building team that manages to those mission, vision values that are aligned with our values as individuals was, I think, what was so important.

And then representing that has then aligned, our clients are very much aligned with that. the clients that also have those similar values .

[00:12:59] Simon Vetter: Yeah. So you work with entrepreneurs, first generation wealth creators, venture capitalists who have made it. They financially are. Do you see a certain characteristic or trait those people have that made them, accumulating the wealth? Do you see a pattern with your clients?

[00:13:20] Eric Thurber: Yeah. Good question. we go through, with each family that, we evaluate, we take them through a, a, a series of question about their values and their goals and the families that they want to impact, their assets and their experts and interests and... what comes out of that, and, and first, our clients are mostly what we call G1, or generation one, intergenerational wealthy successful.

So, they are kind of families that are now sitting on anywhere from 50 to hundreds of millions of dollars, because of the wealth creation and creating something from nothing. But, we have one of our clients that was,food insecure growing up, right? Who's worth $1 billion today.

And so, you know, we're starting with people that didn't have anything. what is the commonalities of those people that ended up becoming our clients or come and introduced to us is, one, a lot of them are, have, are intellectually successful. They've educated themselves to achieve, right? ...

Some of these people are very technology f- you know,intellectually, superior. coding at Google when they were 16. A lot of them are Harvard or Yale business school graduates. They're, they're people that have educated themselves, succeeded, and then achieved intellectual capacity to give them an opportunity to go take risk.

And then they took risk, right? They ended up taking that opportunity to go build something and to go try to take risk professionally. And then with that, they were passionate about whatever they were building, and they had the vision to enroll others in that vision and to execute on a vision. I mean, to build something from nothing, to create significant company value, to create a company, a product, anything like that creates leadership, creates...

You have to have vision. you have to understand the value of partnership. You know, the clients that work with us are very busy. It's not that they couldn't go out and manage their own money or set up time with experts or do all this stuff, but they value time, and they understand the value of the team they build and the, the, the resources they put in place to support the, their, their families.

And the other thing is most of our families are... And this is just to our families, maybe not to all wealthy families, but they're family stewards into independence. So what does that mean? That, The money is there created to help support their families and to help them with their independence to do what they want and to have the best impact on their lives and what they want to do in their lives.

[00:15:35] Simon Vetter: So let me repeat, the recipe here. It, it starts with a good education. Sometimes it's self-educated. You have a really great, degree from a good, university. then you gotta be passionate about what you do, and then be able to take risk, calculated risk, and then you build something based on opportunities, and then create a vision and enroll others into that vision so you, you bring others along.

Is that a good, summary of the recipe of your clients?

[00:16:03] Eric Thurber: That's right. That's right. I mean, you know, and it, you know, if you think about it, a lot of people have ideas. Going from idea to building a company and getting enrollment and getting investment and building team and building process and, I mean, that's, something that is, Herculean and requires, I think, a certain level of capacity as an individual that, you know, is what all of these individuals have done.

And I just, you know, I think of the entrepreneur as one of the more, incredible, roles in life in our society, and one of the hardest. So I always honor and acknowledge those people that go out and do it.

[00:16:35] Simon Vetter: Yeah. Now they have a, an independent lifestyle. What do you see, what can money or wealth do to add to independence a good life? And what can money not bring to happiness? What do you see?

[00:16:51] Eric Thurber: we ask our clients, first question we ask people that are, we interview is, you know, What's the most important thing to you about money?"

[00:16:59] Simon Vetter: Hmm.

[00:16:59] Eric Thurber: And over a series of, 25 years of doing these interviews, here's what comes out almost always: security, safety, impacting the people most important to you, which is typically family, right? And then again, as we mentioned, independence, being able to live your life, do the things you want to do with money not being the reason, right?

Being t- money optional, being able to do the things I want to do in my life that's most impactful. And so not worrying about money, right? I think is, no matter how much wealth you have, becomes this big piece of it. And everybody's got a relationship with money, so we spend a lot of time trying to understand the role of money and wealth and how individuals think about money.

but that's, I think the, the commonalities that we see there, when we think of what's the importance of money, and then, how we then align people's actions or how they use their wealth to align with those values is what, we're trying to accomplish

[00:17:56] Simon Vetter: the one thing I take away here is having a good, healthy relationship to money, how we think about money and what's the belief about money. What, being in your business, what have you learned about people's relationship to money?

[00:18:12] Eric Thurber: It's usually a, a role of scarcity, even when you have it.

[00:18:16] Simon Vetter: Interesting

[00:18:17] Eric Thurber: And, I think the other thing that I've just been a student of for the last 30 years is behavioral economics and how we think about money. And, uh, and then we all have these,same ways that we, you know, fear and greed and the way we worry when things go down, and we maybe are,too excited when markets are up, and we take risks when we shouldn't be, and we don't see risks when they're high.

And like, you know, we think about where the world is today. But, yeah, I think that, Everybody has a unique relationship, but it usually starts with,coming from a place of scarcity and risk and worry, and then how does that impact how you make decisions around it? Some people make, decisions that are, adverse to the, long-term benefit of their financial success

[00:19:06] Simon Vetter: Yeah. So it's interesting that scarcity versus abundance mentality. One of my values is abundance. How do I live a more abundant life, and how does that show up behaviorally? How I am generous with others with time and support. And I challenge myself, and I haven't found the key yet, but I'm s- continuously kinda think about what does an abundant lifestyle look like?

in terms of the, values, how do you get people to make better decisions around money? because you, you help them, you advise them

[00:19:42] Eric Thurber: Yeah, that's a great question. First, it's planning, right? everything we do is us then building a comprehensive plan, understanding where we are, where we're trying to go, what our goals are, what we're trying to achieve for everyone, and then also understanding the risks. I always tell people in markets, you know, we're in a business where, you know, we can control the things we can control, but there's a lot of things we can't control.

And I always promise clients I've been in this business for almost 30 years, and, you know, my first 15 years I saw the market basically go down 50% twice. And, you know, we always use Mike quote, Mike Tyson's quote, "Everybody's got a plan till they get punched in the face." Right? And so what we're doing is planning in advance, right?

So we always try to understand what, the counterfactual looks like if the world falls apart, and make sure that we're prepared for that in advance, and that we have conversations about that in advance, so when it happens, not if it happens, that we're prepared for that. Now, we haven't seen it recently, but that's been a world where all of this is planning and preparation, understanding and being able...

And we use technology more today. It's been massively helpful in our data sets to be able to help with that. integrating AI into our, resourcing, being able to help build a better solution so that we can have conversations around this is a big piece of it

[00:20:52] Simon Vetter: What is one question that most of your clients are big- the biggest challenge when it comes to wealth management? What's the question that they don't ask or the, the question they avoid asking?

[00:21:07] Eric Thurber: You know, I would, I would say it differently. They always ask what other people are doing, right? Or what is it that I should be doing? Or what am I missing? Or what do I need to be thinking about, right? It's, it's making sure that they at least feel like they understand all the cards in the game and that they understand what they should be thinking about to have the biggest impact, and to align with what's important to them

[00:21:28] Simon Vetter: Yeah, yeah. So let's talk about where you are. You have built this, this successful investment advisory company with, dozens of wealthy families. Where do you wanna go? What's in the future for you, Dane, based on, the wonderful life you have lived?

[00:21:45] Eric Thurber: Yeah, you mentioned a life well lived. That's, that's I think what we're trying to stri- strive to, to, to do is, is, is not only build, solutions for families to live a life well lived, but also so that we as a firm and our team lives a life well lived. And, if I think about that, you know, that's one, being successful on purpose.

We're kind of in a world now where we're in high demand and our time is the only thing we have. And so I'm trying to figure out how we continue to, provide these services to more families and not make it so our team and my partner and I are, living a, a life of work and not a life of balance. And that's a hard one because we continue to be challenged by demand and, and, I wanna do this till I get taken out in the wood box.

I'd love to do this when I'm 75, 80. I love my clients, I love this business, I love what we do, but not if I'm doing it 80 hours a week. And so similar for my team. And so what we've tried to do now is build a firm that we have the ability to work but also then have a life, and be able to get away from the jobs when we need to and have everyone be able to get away from that, and be able to have a life outside of this firm.

And that's very important for me, both for myself in living that life as well as for our firm. Now, we've created a remote business now after the pandemic, so families live where they wanna live, can travel where they wanna go, do what they wanna do. As long as they're doing their work, they can do it from anywhere.

And so that's kind of been a unique change for us. Goes back to that balance. We want people to love working, excited to come to work every day and do what they do, but also not... It, it's, it's a piece of life, but it's not the most important thing in life. Their families are more important. The impact they have, the play they have, the lives they have outside, we hope to in- integrate that.

That, to me, that's the vision. And, and I say all of that because if I take on all the opportunities we might see over the next five or 10 years, I think that the balance would be challenged. And so that's where kind of going back, you know, we, kind of brought in... it goes back to, you know, we try to build the right team.

we've brought in coaches now, when we were rebuilding this a few, you know, seven or eight years ago, to rebuild the alignment and where we're going and mission, vision, values and what we needed d- as far as team and services to help, provide this world-class service to these families.

But now, you know,if we take on all these opportunities, I think we'll be overwhelmed. And so we have to figure out what that looks like. It's a, it's a champagne problem, but it is where we are at. And, uh, and, and as a firm... You know, and it, you know, I think about, one of the big learnings, you know, you can...

The old African proverb that you can go fast alone, but if you wanna go far, you need a great team. And, we have a great team. That was probably the biggest thing that we've done over the last, 10 years is build a team that is aligned in this, understand what we need to be building. And, and, and I wanna keep that team.

We've been fortunate that that team has been together for a very long time and no one's really, transitioned. Uh, that's very important, too, is that we just have continuity in what we're doing for families on the go forward

[00:24:45] Simon Vetter: And there are opportunities coming your way, and sometimes we have to learn to say no because there are other things like having time off, going on a travel is even more important. So saying no and saying yes too is sometimes a, a hard decision to make

[00:25:05] Eric Thurber: It's where we're at right now, and it's an interesting one that we're, we're challenged by. So we're, we're bring- And again, it goes back to we bring in the right team. We've... Every time I think we've made the right decision is bringing outside professionals. I've had professional coaching, experts like you that, that are just m- been massively helpful in us in just aligning what's important to us and how we're building it

[00:25:25] Simon Vetter: You mentioned,it's important how we surround ourselves. What are some mentors in your life that had tremendous positive impact on you?

[00:25:36] Eric Thurber: So I would say that probably, you know, one of the things that I should have done more is to more proactively find mentorship, right? I, as I go back, I would say, boy, if I'd have spent more time going out and finding more of those people. Now, I was fortunate enough due to my career that each of my professional things...

You know, in, in high school I was so fortunate to have people to help me. In FFA and 4H, I mean, we were in, you know, national competitions and speaking competitions, and I had people helping coaching me in leadership very early. I am very grateful for my, high school FFA teacher and, other people that helped me with that.

But that was early. In college, you know, great professors. you know, I kinda was, didn't have the right, I think, mentors as I started. And, you know, then when I got into the business, at each of my professional firms there were exceptional people 15, 20 years my senior that had been doing what I'm doing today, that I spent as much time asking questions and learning and understanding how they got from where they were to where they are.

And that was a big piece of it for me. At each step I've ha- I had, had at both my first, firm and, and at the firm that I was at before we launched this one, had exceptional mentors that had been doing this in a way that I learned a great deal from. So I'm very grateful for all of that, and I think about anybody as the kind of young people today, that's, such an important part of it is, is finding those people that can help, have a vested interest in, your success

[00:27:05] Simon Vetter: I had some very, very important mentors who kind of gave me a, a, a chance to take a risk. one of them was, Marshall Goldsmith. I taught, his behavioral change process and, and I learned from him and surround myself and, and I think it's, it's a mutual beneficial relationship, especially now we are more the elderly.

How do we pass our experience and wisdom to the younger people, and how do we help them to, to grow and, and make better decisions for themselves? So, What you know now, what is your advice to your 20-year-old self?

[00:27:45] Eric Thurber: Yeah, that's a good question. And I'm gonna maybe answer this question both for me and maybe a 20-year-old today. But, you know, first, you know, it goes back to a few of the things we talked about. One is, is, uh, take risks, right? You mentioned mentorship. Build your team over time. Make sure you find the right people that can help support you in your own personal growth.

I think the one thing, Simon, at 20 that I was really clueless about was, is my need for self-awareness and personal development. You know, I learned to work hard, I learned to study hard But what I didn't learn is the voice in my mind, I had a very harsh voice. If I talked to anybody the way that my voice talked, it'd be not great, right?

And I didn't really learn the, that part of it. And so a lot of my, growth here in the last 10 years is my journey of self-discovery, right? and that's more, around self-reflection and mindfulness, engaging in, you know, regular self-reflection- ... observing, without judgment. You know, I'm, acknowledging that I have traumas from my past as a child, and I have addressed and looked at what it is that's happening there so that I can better understand myself so that I'm in a better position to be equanimous, in a positive position to be able to support others

[00:28:58] Simon Vetter: So you, y- this is interesting. I, I, I'm a big believer in self-talk, how we talk to ourself, which is also part of the self-awareness. You said when you were younger you had a harsh voice.

[00:29:09] Eric Thurber: You talked kinda to yourself in a very critical or very, self-critical manner. How did you change your self-talk? How do you talk to yourself? How would you describe the voice that you feed yourself now?

Sure. I think before coaching, I thought that that harsh voice is what got me to work hard and do a little more than everybody else to achieve, and, uh, it's not. It's not, it's not me, it's, it's the voice. So a lot of this comes down to self-reflection and mindfulness, engaging in regular self-reflection and mindful practices, so I'm meditating every day.

Uh, there's a at Harvard and Yale, it's the most, well-attended class about happiness, right? And what do they have in common, right? Well, there's, there's a way to be healthy and practice happiness. One is daily gratitude. I have a gratitude, gratitude practice. Every morning and night, I get up, and I say, "What am I grate- three things I'm grateful for?"

I go to bed at night, "What are three things I'm grateful for?" just that daily acknowledgement can focus your shift away from the lack and toward what we have, and that can rewrite our brains to recognize the good and foster a positive outlook, and that's, that's a big piece. Daily meditation.

Scientifically proven to reduce stress, increase focus, and enhance emotional health. I do that, right? acts of kindness. Engage in acts of kindness. Simple, but volunteering or, helping a neighbor, offering a kind word, can enhance our own sense of purpose. Having regular physical activity every day.

We ought to exercise four or five days a week, and that's to enhance, optimize for energy, right? I mean, if you work all the time, you don't take care of yourself physically, you don't have those natural, physical endorphins which are allow you to optimize for that, so that's been a big piece of it, and then fostering long-term relationships.

I'll also say play, right? What is play? Engaging activity for amusement, recreation, or enjoyment, often without a specific goal or outcome. How often do we do that, right? And it's such an investment, right? So these are all ways, and then having purpose, having something more than yourself. So those are all things as I think about, you know, how we think about,practicing happiness as I think about it, right?

And I think about the self-reflection part, which is, everybody's got trauma. This is the human condition, right? We all grew up, and somewhere between the age of six and 12, we were not enough or abandoned or felt like something along the way, and then we s- created patterns to survive, right? And so is a Commonality, but if we don't review what those patterns are and understand where they are and how they're interacting in in our relationships, those same patterns that may be ones that could create a survival can also be impactful negatively on relationships in future if we don't understand how they're addressing the way we're living our life.

So that was part of it is, is that work, and then the continual learning of self-discovery there, was, is so inclu- is, was so important. And then embracing vulnerability, requires, I was the guy, if you'd have told me the first 40 years of my life, "How are you doing?" "I'm great."

Right? I didn't really, wasn't very vulnerable, right? And I think the more that I've been able to acknowledge my fears and insecurities and past traumas, I've been able to foster personal development, enhance empathy and connection with others, right? So these are big pieces that are not things that when I was in the University of Nebraska, they were teaching me.

And so those are all pieces that have happened over the last... And, and, and I think all came from adversity. When you're having challenges in relationship or having challenges in business, it came back to me. I, I went and reflected. At one point, at 40, I was having a challenge in my personal relationship, I was having a challenge with a business partner, our business was not aligned, and I was having a challenge with my, my family 'cause we were communication problems.

What was the common denominator? It was me,

[00:32:43] Simon Vetter: Right. Right

[00:32:44] Eric Thurber: And so I went and said, "Okay, let's, let's, let's go be here. Let's find out what it is. Let's, let's work on Eric." And the more that I did that, the better I showed up, the more I know about me, the better I'm able to be a better leader, be a, be a better spouse, better business partner, uh, everything.

[00:33:00] Simon Vetter: And I gotta commend you on, on, on really looking in a mirror and say, "Okay, good, what is it about me that's not working? Or how do I create conflict? Or how do I shape relationships?" And, sometimes it takes courage, but, and sometimes it's painful to look in the mirror and say, "Wow, it's really me, so I better make some shifts myself."

And, and sometimes we have those wake-up calls and, good for you that you're willing to be challenged and, and engaging coaches and partners and mentors to work on that. I also love your practice. I mean, the gratitude every morning, every evening, three things you're grateful for

[00:33:41] Eric Thurber: You know, there's a five-minute journal. It's a book that I recommend to anybody. My coach gave it to me when we started, and it's the same thing. It's every morning we just write down what are you grateful for. What would you be grateful for? You go to bed at night, what are you grateful for? What was today?

What's something that we're grateful for? What would you be grateful for tomorrow? That is, it seems simple, but it's incredible over time

[00:34:00] Simon Vetter: How long have you been doing that?

[00:34:02] Eric Thurber: now it's been since I was 40. I'm 56, so we're 16 years

[00:34:05] Simon Vetter: And you, every day you keep doing that

[00:34:07] Eric Thurber: And it's, it's, it's very simple. It's not like I go right down the book anymore, but I am immensely grateful for my life and my relationships and where I am today.

And, reflecting that took a lot of work, but that's part of it,

[00:34:19] Simon Vetter: Yeah. Yeah. I started a few years ago. I had a gratitude journal. I wrote it in, and then after six months I put it away. Now I need to get back because it's that consistency that will kind of feed that voice in a more effective way.

[00:34:35] Eric Thurber: You know, speaking the importance of process over result, right? What are we doing every day to get better both personally and professionally, emotionally, spiritually, right? It's not that I'm trying to build X business, right? It's what am I doing every day to get better?

What am I doing for my team to get better? What is my team doing every day to get better? So that we can be the people and the team that we can to, to achieve the things we wanna achieve. It's not we wanna achieve those things and let's, you know... It is the integral part of the daily work to me that helps us to achieve, and that's where we are today because of that.

At least that's,

[00:35:08] Simon Vetter: The other thing I'm impressed by you is, your workout routines. Give me a brief summary of your workout routines, because it shows your commitment to your energy management and your personal, health wellness.

[00:35:22] Eric Thurber: yeah, it goes back to the optimizing of energy. But I am in the gym 90 minutes lifting four days a week, sometimes two hours. I do saunas, four days a week for two 20-minute sessions. Probably giving myself 10 to 12 hours of personal care a week, and I've done that for 30 years even though I've been running, you significant business.

And when you're at the banks, you're working a lot. I mean, there was never a point in my life when I wasn't busy, but I prioritized it all of the time, and I don't think... There was a moment in the first month that we started this firm, our independent firm, where I didn't work out, and I was working 22 hours a day or 20 hours a day.

And, you could just see the difference in about a month in how much lack of energy, how my mind was not integrating healthily. and so much of the coaching that I've gotten is we optimize for energy every day. some people work 16 hours a day, and that's a solution. I think that's the wrong solution.

It- so every day I've just continued to build physical, menta-mental, meditation, mental health so that I can consistent and that I can, this can be sustainable. And so I feel at, you know, 56, I'm, I'm the same weight as I was when I was 25, in great shape and can do this every day and feel excited about doing it every day.

If I weren't doing that, I think it would be significantly different, so I've really prioritized that. And some people say, "Oh, I don't have enough time in my day, and so that's always the thing that gets taken out." It's not. It, I, I have a, a commitment to myself that's unconditional in being in there and doing that-

[00:36:47] Simon Vetter: And I think the key is we can manage time to a certain degree. We all have 24 hours time available. We cannot expand, we cannot sell, we cannot buy time. We have time. But we can expand energy. If I bring great energy to my 10-hour work, I'm focused, I'm sharp, I'm concentrated, I get more done in 10 hours than working 15 hours with low energy.

So I

[00:37:17] Eric Thurber: No, absolutely. And I

[00:37:17] Simon Vetter: the point here is that energy management, how do we bring energy to what we do? That requires physical energy, mental energy, relational energy. I mean, I work in companies, they have a lot of conflict, a lot of... It drains energy. So how do you build healthy relationships? So I love this concept of energy management

[00:37:41] Eric Thurber: But I think it's immensely important. it's been a big piece and I think for everyone in our firm. I think you know, it gives back to I'm not trying to work people 16 hours a day. I'm trying to work them... A- a- and it's a firm that's never had vacations or, sick days. And people get their stuff done when they wanna get it done, and it's when they wanna get it done.

But then I also wanna make sure they get to spend time with their family. They need to exercise. They need to be balanced people. So it's just a culture that we've built

[00:38:04] Simon Vetter: before we finish, any final thoughts, about how do you approach the future? How do you plan, and create a vision? Any final ideas or questions or thoughts for the audience?

[00:38:17] Eric Thurber: you know, again, I'm just gonna reflect. I continue to be in growth mode, right? I hope I'm always in growth mode. I mean, we're in a world where how do I continue to develop myself and our firm and our team and, and what are we doing every day to do that? And, and that continues to be my kind of, true north and it's, been a lot of fun.

I really love my life and where where we're going, and it's been fun to sit with you today, Simon. You know, we've had a lot of good conversations about this and, it's been a, it's been really, a lot of fun to just sit and chat with you about it

[00:38:43] Simon Vetter: Eric, thank you so much. It's been super insightful. I love your story, your background, what you're doing. Keep offering your passion and, and your wisdom to the world. Thank you for being part of, Division Architect podcast

[00:38:58] Eric Thurber: honored my friend. Take care.

[00:38:59] Simon Vetter: Bye-bye

[00:39:00] Eric Thurber: Thank you