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Join Rav Shlomo Katz in uncovering מעלת תפילת נשים—the unique spiritual power of a Jewish woman’s tefillah.
Drawing from Chazal, halacha, and pnimiyut, and learning deeply from the Biala Rebbe’s "Zechut Nashim Tzidkaniyot", we explore why women’s hearts, rooted in רגש טהור (innate emotional purity) and holy bitul, move heaven and earth.
Together we’ll clarify classic questions (time-bound mitzvot, obligation vs. essence), learn the siddur through the eyes of our sages, and translate inspiration into avodah that nourishes real life, especially as we enter Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur.
This series is both a celebration and a strengthening of the women who daven with fire, carry Am Yisrael with love, and teach us how to speak to Hashem with truth.
Good morning everybody. Thank you for coming. We're learning לעילוי נשמת לוי בן יוסף and לעילוי נשמת באסי פיגא בת ישראל. You could pass these pages around.
We began speaking last week about different times, auspicious times, whether it's what's called an eis ratzon. We had said that whenever you're in a shul, whenever you're in a Beis Knesset, that's definitely considered an eis ratzon. We had learned the Gemara, a Gemara that makes, can make things complicated, for the Gemara from Brachos that says אין תפילתו של אדם נשמעת אלא בבית הכנסת. A person's davening is only heard in a shul.
But we explained also that whenever, aside from the importance of women being in actual shul, we also described how at any time that there's a moment where you scream out to Hashem and want to say Abba Abba, whenever that is, especially by, we emphasized how this is an inyan much more by women than men, that that moment becomes an eis ratzon as well. Now there's something that is not, they're not on the pages in front of you, but it was next in the text but it's a very strong piece. It's not in front of you but I'm just going to try to say it outside because it has to do with the parshiyos that we're in right now. There's a pasuk that we say in Parsha, we said in Parshas Shemos, it's kind of the engine of geulah, ותעל שועתם אל האלהים מן העבודה.
That means that what basically got us to start screaming and crying and looking up to Hashem and saying "Come on, this is too much"? So the pasuk says min ha'avodah. What does that mean? The hardship was too much, it was too much to bear. It was too hard and it caused us, it pushed us to start screaming to Hashem min ha'avodah. Now obviously when you have a pasuk like that, Chasidus is going to come and take it to a beautiful place.
This is such a beautiful Torah from the Biala Rebbe. I think this is his, I don't think he quotes in the name of anybody else. But he says like this: avodah, it can also mean avodas Hashem. That means that while you're busy doing a mitzvah, at that moment of asiyas mitzvah, ותעל שועתם אל האלהים מן העבודה, from the avodah itself that you're doing, if there's a tefillah that comes up from the avodah that you're doing, that one really opens the gates of heaven.
For example, and we're going to see examples today, anything that you're busy with in terms of the mitzvos that causes you to also daven while you're doing the mitzvah, that he says is a huge, huge eis ratzon. The few examples, so that's what he means over here when it says ותעל שועתם אל האלהים מן העבודה, doesn't just mean when things are really hard I call out to you, Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Obviously that's a very important thing and that's actually what began the geulah to take place. What he's saying over here is min ha'avodah, from the work that I'm doing right now, do am I remembering to daven while I'm busy doing a mitzvah? So the few examples, and that's a beautiful, beautiful peirush.
So let's, he gives a few examples that we're not going to go into right now, but I'll just say it outside. One of them is obviously when a couple brings their son into a bris milah. At the bris itself there's an avodah that's happening, there's a chiyuv of milah, of circumcision. So he goes in depth in terms of what you're supposed to be doing while a mitzvah is taking place, you're supposed to be screaming and crying like never before to Hakadosh Baruch Hu, davka at that moment, that's an auspicious time to really start to daven, and he goes into all different kavanos v'chulu, and how that bechi, that cry, those tears that come out of a mother's eyes during the moment of the bris milah is incomparable to almost just about anything.
So I bless us all to have children, those that they're still in that parsha, and there should be a, I love girls obviously, but there should be a boy to have the zechus so that this thing could be l'maiseh. He really goes into depth over here but I didn't think that's too much and he also speaks a lot about the inyan of hafrashas challah. My girls, one of my girls went this week to, there's a boy that, nebach, needs a big refuah. by him he's fifteen fourteen I think fourteen years old Hashem Yeracheim.
So there's been a bunch of hafrashas challah in the community by the girls of the community to go and tune into just a mitzvah lichvodo and for his refuah sheleimah. So he says over here that בשעת קיום מצות הפרשת חלה that's a very very strong time while you're doing an avodah to start davening and the davening should go up to shamayim b'ezras Hashem and all these girls that are doing it right now it's so so special. He says he brings here from the Hagahos Maimoniyos that Channah's name I'm sorry you don't have it in front of you but Channah's name is the Channah was the master of prayer. Her rashei teivos is challah, niddah, and hadlakas ner which is what we're going to be speaking about today the last one hadlakas ner.
Channah she kept these three mitzvos k'ra'ui and therefore Hakadosh Baruch Hu gave her what she wanted so badly and what she was davening for so badly and she davened with such fire that Hashem should give her בנים צדיקים ויראי השם ויודעי שמו יתברך. So the last thing that he says of the rashei teivos of Channah, challah, niddah, hadlakas ner, that's what I wanted to focus on today because that's דברים השווים לכל איש because that's something no matter what parshah you're in in life that's something you're doing hadlakat neiros. As we've mentioned so many times in this shiur and many other shiurim, quite often the amount of Yiddishkeit that stays with your children that lights a fire in them beyond all the chinuch that you give them is how the girls witness and experience hadlakat neiros on Shabbos, which for many people that's a very very big test because it's also a very that's very much crunch time as well. Get ready for Shabbos.
It's not always the most peaceful time although at that moment the gates of shamayim are wide open and I wanted us to dig deeper into this with him to explain to us the zchus that we have to do something min ha'avodah. There's an avodah. There's lighting candles. That's an avodah.
ותעל שוועתם אל האלהים מן העבודה happens every time hadlakas neiros because I don't know any woman that just runs to the candles and lights it and doesn't have any tefillah and they're just saying I'm just doing a mitzvah, right? I don't know anyone like this no matter what's going on in life and no matter how strenuous things could be on that Friday that moment of hadlakas neiros is מעורר משהו חזק מאוד בלב. It arouses something so powerful in the heart and pushes you to go and madlik neiros. I only did this I only lit candles once in my life. Did I ever tell you this? Only one time in my life that I was in a situation that I had to light candles where I was set up alone in a place on Shabbos and I needed to light the candles.
And it was the strangest thing. It was in Rav Soloveitchik's apartment. Did I ever tell you this, Azary? This is a it was a gevalt. It was Shabbos I think it was Vayeira or Toldos in 2020 six years ago and I was doing a shabbaton for YU.
And I realized that I needed to it was a situation they actually prepared it for me. I guess they have a lot of guest people that come and they put them up in that it wasn't I was the only one that ever slept there. But they must put people in that place so they set up the candles and I was it was a very powerful moment it was a very special moment yeah being at home to light candles v'chulu. But usually if I travel I don't usually stay in hotels for Shabbos I'm in someone's house the candles are lit.
Here was a situation that I was alone in this apartment. And it was so it was so special for me even though I didn't you know I never I'd never done it before I'm like well this is a great opportunity this is unbelievable and I was feeling so so special. I get a knock on the door when Rav Weinberger was also there for Shabbos staying in the apartment next to me with his wife. So he came and knocked on the door before to bring to tell me to get me to come to shul that I didn't even know where I was going.
And he opens the door he says okay come come he says by the way you know whose apartment this was this was Rav Yosef Ber Soloveitchik this was Rav Soloveitchik's apartment. So I could say the only time I've ever lit candles was in the Rav's apartment. It's a great story right? You get to do it every single Shabbos it's an amazing amazing incredible thing. But something is very very, it's something and even though this is probably not a chiddush to anyone today, it's good sometimes to refresh and replug in to things that are already happening anyway and hopefully widen the gates with deeper kavana and making more of the moment that already happens to us anyway every single to you every single week.
So you see on דף רצ"ג וכן בזמן הדלקת נרות. Do you see where that is?
ברוך אתה ה' אלוקינו מלך העולם שהכל נהיה בדברו אמן. This is a very, very beautiful piece. This is not a hard one.
It's just very sweet from the Beialer Rebbe.
וכן בזמן הדלקת נרות שבת קודש הוא עת רצון מיוחד להאיר ולמלא את הבית באור הקדושה העליונה. Lighting Shabbos candles, it's a very auspicious time to illuminate and fill the home with the supernal light, holy light, holy light.
כמאמר בספר הזוהר הקודש.
As the Zohar explains שמצות הדלקת נרות שבת זכות גדולה היא לבנים קדושים שהם יהיו נרות העולם. It's a tremendous zchus that when you're lighting the Shabbos candles, your davening is that my children become the candles of the world. Gevalt!
שיהיו נרות העולם בתורה וביראה וירבו שלום בעולם. They should be candles of Torah, candles of yira and that they should make peace greater in the world.
Ul'chen. So, it's a question. How how come I don't get that one? How do you why do you get that one? That should be I want that one also. That's something that I do on Erev Shabbos is on the aspect of that enables me to tune into an auspicious time of my children should be these candles in the world.
No, it's davka to women.
ולכן מצוה זו ניתנה דוקא לאשה משום שהיא עיקרו של הבית. Because the woman is the ikar of the home.
ורק לה יש את הכוח לגרש את החושך והטומאה מן הבית ומן הלב.
It is in the woman's power with her tefilla to banish all darkness and impurity from the home and from the heart ul'hair es habayis and to illuminate the home באור של קדושה וטהרה with the light of holiness and purity or shabbos hamalka. That's what the Malka does. That's the light of Shabbos Malkusa. So to zoom out for a second, remember that when we turn around in L'cha Dodi, right? What what are those words that we're saying? What are we actually saying?
בואי בשלום עטרת בעלה גם ברינה ובצהלה תוך אמוני עם סגולה בואי כלה בואי כלה.
What are those words saying? What does that mean? Boi kalla? Boi kalla. What's kalla? What what, huh? What bride? Bride of who? Bride of Shabbos? Bride of Hashem? Okay, this is a big thing, like this is important things to be plugged into. Shabbos Malka, the boi kalla boi kalla Shabbos Malkusa, Shabbos queen, you're the bride. This is what we're inviting into our hearts when we turn around on L'cha Dodi.
There's a lot of different peirushim for it. Another peirush that we saw by Rav Biederman and is an amazing one where it says תוך אמוני עם סגולה. What's segula? What does a segula mean? It means something that you just can't ever figure out, it just is what it is, a segula. It is what it is, it's there.
It's also why Rav Biederman said that the vowel, not the vowel, the no, it's a segol. You know what a segol is? It's a vowel. It's a vowel in Ivrit, yeah, a vowel. Segol.
You know the shape of a segol? It's two dots on top, right? He says segol, any way you flip it, remains a segol. Ever noticed that? A segol, right? Any way you flip it is a segol. Z'tomeret, you could flip us over, you could change our tzura anyway, but we stay, so we say תוך אמוני עם סגולה, in our hearts we may look like we flip to the side or flip to the other side, but we're emunei am segula, we're the inside the belief of the people of segula. In that merit, boi kalla boi kalla.
In the merit that we have something that's חי וקיים לנצח, that's alive and forever, come Shabbos Malka. We we haven't changed. We're still the same. Look deeper into us.
You can you can still come here and feel at home. It's okay. That's how we that's you know that really b'emes, you know when Shabbos really comes in for the man?
מזמור שיר ליום השבת. Shabbos, which is right after תוך אמוני עם סגולה בואי כלה בואי כלה, right? Like if let's say you're start you do you you're doing early Shabbos, so the man goes to shul.
So when does really Shabbos, the chalos of Shabbos come on to him? So there's two possible times. One is when the wife is at home and she's lighting the candles at that time. The other is that moment of saying מזמור שיר ליום השבת. But what comes right before that? Acknowledgment that I'm in the presence of the queen.
Because what a queen does when she walks into a room based on what he says over here is that she megareshes את כל החושך והטומאה שבבית ושבלב. A queen's presence. When a queen walks into a room, any darkness that may have been there before is megurash. It vanishes.
It it goes away. Any tumah that may still be hanging around in the heart vechulu, hakol megurash. It's all expelled. It's gone.
It's a beautiful it's such a beautiful kavanah to have. That kavanah, you know, certain certain Toros from Reb Reuven that we've been doing for the last two years, they've stuck with the chevra, with the men every single Shabbos. That one תוך אמוני עם סגולה. I can say to myself: am I worthy for the queen to come to my home? So the liturgy says to me: yeah, yeah, yeah.
Inside the faith of the people of segol, of segulah, we haven't really changed. Outside it looks like this week really flipped us over, we're not the same people. Toche emuney, inside the belief of Am Segulah, Boi Kallah. I'm I'm still the same person.
I haven't changed. You're going to feel at home here. Alavai be'ezras Hashem. Uchemo so we're in this third paragraph in this piece.
וכמו שנרות השבת מאירים את הבית, כמו כן אף מאירים הם את ליבותיהם של בני הבית. Just like the Shabbos candles illuminate the home, they also illuminate the hearts of those that live in the home. Shabbos like this is no pressure but the the for those that live under your roof when you're lighting Shabbos candles and the davening is kemo shetzarich what happened what's happening is an illumination into your children's homes into your husband's home home into your husband's heart.
כמו שכתוב בספר הקדוש סידורו של שבת.
Let me just tell you a little bit. Sidduro Shel Shabbos, it's a very special sefer. It was written by the Chernobyler Rebbe, Reb Chaim of Chernobyl. Reb Chaim of Chernobyl was the he's a sefer also, very important sefer Be'er Mayim Chaim.
He was a talmid of Rabbi Yechiel Michel of Zlotchov, the Maggid of Zlotchov, who was a talmid of the Baal Shem Tov. So we're speaking like second, third generation of Chassidus already. Where's he on this picture? Sorry? We went to his kever. Oh, you went to his kever.
Beautiful. Eizeh zechus. Where's he on the picture? From here I can't I can't see. We'll do a close-up later.
But I was just sitting it's interesting, I was sitting Yaniv Tzaidi had a had a some kind of mesibas hodayah recently and he has this friend that came in, this Chassidishe Yid that came in from Beit Shemesh I think. I'm sitting with him. Two guys. One was a Chassidishe Yid and one was a very noble-looking rav, but not not Chassidish.
So we're sitting and schmoozing and then I I ask the the the Chassidishe Yid who you are, where you're from. He says: oh, we're Vizhnitz. He says: but really I'm a ben achar ben from Reb Chaim Chernobyler, he says. So I'm like: okay, and you better have a you know and who are you like the guy next to him.
You better have some some good right? It was very anav anav. He didn't really say much until I realized he's the great-grandson of the Chofetz Chaim. That was Rav Mann his name is. You know, normal Thursday night party in Efrat.
Reb Chaim Chernobyler's great-grandson and the and the and the Chofetz Chaim's great-grandson. So in his sefer he has a he has a long it's a very big sefer, hard sefer Sidduro Shel Shabbos. It's not easy. He has a beautiful thing over here and he says like this regarding hadlakas neiros.
Shebehadlakas neiros what happens during hadlakas neiros? Mistalkin kol hachitzonim. Okay, so that word chitzonim is a word that's used a lot when it comes to Kabbalah and Chassidus. On a pshat level, what does that mean? Outside things, right? What's so bad about outside things? Well, outside things that cover up the inside things are bad things. There's what's called yenikah min hachitzonim that we we suckle in life, we receive life from an outer layer of life, which isn't really the pnimiyus of life and that's very sad.
So what do you do in order to banish out all the achizah, the grasp, that chitzonim have on pnimiyus? He says Shabbos candles come and it and it just banishes away this outer layer. layer and chitzonim that cover up over what we really want from life. v'hara v'hasitra achra, and all the bad and all the other side, asher b'bateinu. This is very deep.
He's saying all week long, during the week, I may forget why I built this house in the first place. I may forget why I invest so much in the house in the first place. Why? Because it's normal to get caught up. It's a very normal thing to get caught up with the daily grind.
You didn't do anything necessarily that wrong. I don't know anyone that wakes up every single morning with the consciousness and the total awareness as to why they got here in the first place. This is it. All of us are like this.
But there has to be a moment that I go back and remember why I even started this in the first place, why Hashem opened my heart in the first place to raise this child, these children, whatever it is. That's what it means that the chitzonim banish away. That happens at hadlakat nerot. That's why when you come back from shul, it's almost like I remember why I'm here in the first place again.
Not just this has to be like this, that has to be like this. Obviously, this leads to not taking any of it for granted. Again שבהדלקת נרות מסתלקים כל החיצונים, kochot chitzonim, these outer kochot that are hovering, covering over things.
והרע והסיטרא אחרא אשר בביתנו.
Not just that, he says, but gam ha'atzvus, any sadness, v'de'agas yemei hachol, and the worries that come from weekdays, mitrachakim me'habayis, through what? Hadlakat nerot.
והנרות מאירים את הבית באורה של שמחה וחדוות שבת ומשרין שלווה והשקט בביתנו, and it brings upon our homes serenity and quietness. Now I know what some of you are thinking. I won't say it out loud.
But the truth is is that this is what this has the power to do. Okay, yeah? I want to say it out a different thing out loud. There's an interesting conflict between yes, I want to go to shul, and yes, I want to sit in this position for a good fifteen, twenty minutes at least and even with the little kids because the kids will be sitting on their lap looking at the candles. It's like I finally got everybody quiet and happy and dressed and clean, you know? Yeah.
But it's an interesting dichotomy of what do I want to do? That's why we light early. What? That's why we light early. So we can get to shul for mincha. There's a big thing.
Yeah. I mean I don't have anything to say to you, to tell you what to do. I don't know. What do you think? I don't know.
You could light early. Get long lasting candles so that they're still there when you get home. Yeah, that's easy. No, that is the easy part.
Yeah. I don't know. I don't have that inyan. I don't know what to tell you.
Meaning is, you're asking me halachically what should be more? No, maybe rayoni, philosophically. I think each person has their own, you know, I don't know. There's some women that I know that for them that davening by the neros, taking their time, is more important than any other moment in the week, way more important for them making getting to mincha on time. That's Kodesh kodashim.
Then there's also those that for them shul, that erev Shabbos avira, walking into shul is Kodesh kodashim, so they do what you're really saying and they make sure that when they come home there's still time to continue davening by the neros. It's just not the zman of hadlaka, but it's still there. Then there are those that don't have the luxury of even thinking about what you're bringing up right now. Even those though you should know the koach of the hadlakat nerot for that split moment, that's very important because I don't want anyone to have a chalishus hadaas to get weak from this, just that consciousness of what is open for me right now when I light the candles.
It could be twenty seconds. I have to tell you something very interesting based on what you're saying now, now I realize something about myself. You know when the strongest night of hadlakat nerot Chanukah is for me every single year? Shabbos. Why? Because I don't have time to start to cheshbon if I'm feeling it or not.
I have to get to shul and I have to light the candles before I go to shul. So there's a yisaron there also. Yeah, I don't know. But I.
It's like it's very strange. Now I understand for myself why for me the strongest night of Hadlakat nerot is not when we're all sitting around the candles and everyone's and I'm with the guitar and we're going through song by song and there's dreidels and and everyone's... that rarely happens anyway. Meaning I could have all these machshavas that actually happens at these ages where my kids are at, they barely happens.
It's gevalt, it's geshmak, but it's not like that. Sometimes when I actually don't have the opportunity to or I don't have the luxury of sitting back and being like, "Okay, now I'm going to enter this world of machshava and kavana and I'm going to illuminate the higher worlds and the lower worlds." It actually forces me to put it all in in the moment and and it's chazak. But there's no real, you know, everyone here and even in this room is at a different everyone's like I'm looking around the room, there's no there's so many different stages in life over here. So I don't know.
What's that? It could be also that you like it might not be like you said twenty seconds. It might not be a matter of time. It might be a matter of choosing to believe that it's happening and then taking that with you and putting it into your heart and then kind of building on that. Like like most real things, I think.
I have to choose to believe that this is happening. If I'm waiting to feel that it's happening, Sitra Achra has a easy access inside. So it's a very chazak thing what you're saying is that I have to choose to believe that what like this right now, like like that what's happening just repeat this: מסתלקים כל החיצוניים והרע והסטרא אחרא שבבתינו.
והעצבות ודאגת ימי החול they're all leaving the house and the light of the candles is shining the home with the with the joy and bliss of Shabbos, right? And that there is some element of Shalom ve-shalva that's coming now into the home.
That's nothing to do with time. That's a choice. A choice of Emunah. Yeah.
I just saw a beautiful idea that somebody taught me is we all have our list of wants, but to start with our list of thank yous. Like something even just for the week of of first of what I have before you go into I need, I need, I need. Yafeh, nachon. Nachon.
You know, my aunt aleha hashalom, she was killed in a car accident about two years ago. Because right? Baruch Hashem because my daughter's named after my youngest daughter Chava is named after. She was the happiest person and she had very, very little. Kimat klum.
For I think over forty years, she lived in a very small apartment on Ocean Parkway in in Brooklyn and and she but she had such Simchat chayim. Did any of you meet her? Shoshana, did you ever meet her? You met her? It was Tali's. Yeah. She was Simchat chayim.
Like mamash, she was she was the cool aunt. Like there are stories that I'll share when I retire if you understand about me and my aunt. She was the cool aunt. She was a very cool aunt.
She was the cool aunt to be around because she had nothing. But what did she have? She carried around with her that toda card, you know, that and she started off every single day going through those things. Exactly what you're saying. Nachon.
People ask me also like with hitbodedut, a lot of chevra always ask like how do I do it? So there's a shitta that says hitbodedut you start off... you probably have a lot loaded in you and you want to come and bring it all out to Hashem. Just ein baya, there's a shitta that says in in the first three minutes of hitbodedut leave for something else, then start then start kvetching. But come with a list of a few things that you just want to say thank you for even if you don't want to say thank you for it, still say it.
Nachon, it poteach shearim. Also there's an Inyan something around Chanukah like the reason you're placing the Chanukah Menorah where you are has to do with the Mezuzah and that the light goes to the Mezuzah and then it shines, you know, gives you light in your home and throughout the year. Nachon, that's because the Chazal say that the it says the Mezuzah is by the on this side and the Chanukah is here. That that gives you a that's a big and strong, strong action-packed moment.
Okay, let's continue. Is it okay for a few minutes if we turn this one off? Just as I'm suffocating over here a little bit. Is that okay just to turn this one off? That one will stay on.
לא תכננתם את זה טוב.
Well no, תכננו טוב פשוט לא תכננו טוב את זה. This is good. Maybe I don't know, we'll figure something out.
ובכח קדושת המצוה של הדלקת נרות שבת ניתן הכח לכל אם בישראל להתפלל בעת רצון זו על בנים מאירים בתורה.
Okay, this is this seems like we understand it because it's simple Hebrew, there's a secret here in these words. In the with the koach of the holiness, with the strength of the holiness of the mitzvah... of the lighting of the candles of Shabbat, this is a potent thing. To light the Shabbat candles is a potent, it's a very energetic, it's a very powerful moment.
Extremely powerful mitzvah. What is given to every mother in Am Yisrael at that moment? Like so the tfilos that women say, I mean I haven't been home for Hadlakas Neros in ages because I'm already in shul, but that's when you say V'zakeni and all this, yeah? So those words, I mean that's an amazing thing. He says what koach is given to you at that moment? You've given extra, it's an es ratzon of tfila that your children should shine with Torah. You could say that that's available to me at any moment that I cry on a Thursday morning when I'm thinking about this and I cry, it's true.
But then there are auspicious times, there's an es ratzon for your children to illuminate the light of Torah with them that they should guide them the rest of their lives and they should be gedolim baTorah. Gedolim baTorah. Yeah. I just want to add that banim also can be like your efforts and the outcomes of things that you've brought out into the world, so even for people who don't have children, it's an es ratzon for everything that they're doing should also be...
Nachon, nachon. Kmo shekasuv Rabbeinu Bachya v'zeh lshono שהאשה הטובה היא סיבה לתורה. That's a powerful statement. The good woman, what does this mean? This is a very striking statement over here.
שהאשה הטובה היא סיבה לתורה, she's a reason for the Torah. What do you think that means?
שהאשה הטובה היא סיבה לתורה, Rabbeinu Bachya says. Everyone's petrified to say the wrong politically correct answer, right? Everyone's so nervous. Let's read on and then we'll figure this out.
ולכך ראויה האשה להתפלל להשם יתברך, therefore a woman is she's suitable, hi r'uya to daven before Hashem בשעת הדלקת הנר של שבת שהיא מצווה מוטלת עליה. This is a mitzvah that's incumbent upon her, שיתן לה בנים מאירים בתורה כי התפילה יותר נשמעת בשעת עשיית המצווה. Davening is more heard davka in the moment of doing a mitzvah, like we began the shiur, ויזעקו ותעל שוועתם אל האלוקים מן העבודה. It's davka at the moment that the mitzvah is upon you that you're not just busy fulfilling a mitzvah but you realize you could multitask.
We multitask all the time. I have friends they can't work unless they're multitasking. They cannot sit and focus on one thing, they have to multitask in order to get something done. We know it's possible.
Because you can come and say come on how could we do two things at once? Please, we do two things at once all the time. All the time. This is considered k'vayakol, even though be'emes b'pnimiyus it's not multitasking. Avoda and tfila it's really chadu in the shoresh, it's it's the same thing, it's just being expressed in in two different ways.
But he's saying since this mitzvah is incumbent upon the woman because and all this is dependent upon her, davka at that moment to daven over the things we spoke about creates this tremendous es ratzon. But I don't want to let us off the hook from the first line that he said over here.
שהאשה הטובה היא סיבה לתורה. The good woman, I mean I know this can sound a little bit the lashon is a little bit strange for us.
שהאשה הטובה היא סיבה לתורה, she's a reason for the Torah. What do you think that means? I'm going to push you on this, because I don't want to tell you what I think it means. Yeah. Maybe it's the I forget exactly what it is but the feminine form of Hashem's name is female, right? Shchina.
Because of the woman, God's kindness of being in that feminine form, He has gifted us the Torah. So the you're saying you're referring to the Shchina or you're talking about a specific name of Hashem? The Shchina, okay. So Ha'isha hatova, the Shchina, is a reason for the Torah, so I'm just going to push you to make it clear, she's a reason for the Torah? I know that God has given us Torah out of chesed and rachamim. Yes, yes.
So due to His being feminine, due to that portion of Him is why the reason why we have it. So let me let me try to elaborate a little bit if tell me if I'm off from what you're saying. Chazal tell us that Hashem first looked into the Torah and then created the world.
אסתכל באורייתא וברא עלמא is the lashon of Chazal.
Z'omereth he looked into the Torah and said this is a good enough reason for the world to be created. So you're saying that he was looking into this aspect of the Shchina, the feminine, the divine, you know that that that place where the Torah comes out more in that way, and saying that's what he that's what he looked... Well, the feminine is a mekabel. So that means a receptacle for receiving, you know, I mean there's an opening there for where the Torah can be taken in because you're receiving, on the receiving end there's a reason that the Torah could now, meaning it just kivyakhol justifies that it could actually enter somewhere.
So what are you saying about men? No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Well, but the, no I was kidding, I'm not that pushing that, anyway, anyone else? Yeah. Okay, so when we take challah, going back to that, there's a pasuk in there that חוה שסיבבה את המות לעולם. It's the same shoresh, sibbah for Torah and sibbah for the mavet.
That's what it says there? Chavah she-sibbevah? Yeah. Sibbevah? Yeah. Like ס י ב ב? Yeah. That's a harsh, that, you say that? Yeah.
Can you imagine if I said that? Yeah, well this is what was supposed to happen. Hashem looked into the Torah and created a woman who would להשלים את כל התהליך by creating death, you want to call it that, or, I think the opposite, she created life, and that's the sibbah of the Torah. She's the reason creating children in the world and she was the channel of bringing children to the world which is the reason to give Torah so there'd be an, no, but that, that's what it means, that's what it means here, but that's not the lashon what you're saying about hafrashat challah. But it's a kind of, I don't agree with that, life, I mean, you're calling it a sibbah, right? That she, she brought in the, she internalized the animal soul aspect or the yetzer hara as opposed to it being externalized and so she gave this idea of like relationship with Hashem essentially by death.
I mean because you don't, because we're not going to be malakhim, we're not going to be perfect, because you're not, you're never going to appreciate something if you think it's there forever. Yafeh. That's good. Nachon.
I mean that's what you're saying basically. Nachon. What, for whatever the reason is he's saying over here, that's, that's all like, you're thinking here, let me just light my candles and go to shul, but this is something that's, it's chashuv lehadgish, to emphasize while we're, while we're learning these, these concepts. Because that's Rabbeinu Bechaye, yeah.
On a, on a more like peshat level I would say, like that, you know, Hashem, one of the aspects of, I mean not sure Rabbeinu Bechaye, like in Chassidus right? We're talking about dirah betachtonim. I mean not just in Chassidus but dirah betachtonim meaning making this world a dwelling place for Hashem, right? And generally speaking the woman is more sort of busy with things in the house and you know the shopping, the laundry, the changing diapers, the all of that and that's davka the space that you can make a dirah betachtonim, right? I mean it's no chiddush to like make a dirah betachtonim in the, in the, in the shul. Yeah. In the beis medrash.
It's, it's davka bringing Hashem into like, you know, making a meal or changing a diaper that is really what Hashem wants and then he gave us the Torah. So that's more like the sibbat hatorah. Yeah, that's beautiful. That's beautiful.
Okay, anyone else want to say something before we turn the page? Okay. I think joining on what I said a little bit, what Shoshana said, maybe more of what Shoshana said is the, also controversial, is that they say often the woman sets the tone for the religiousness level, bringing in, bringing up children. So the woman is setting that tone. So whether she's receiving or the, the receiver or the giver or the vessel or which is both, then that's why she's, that's why we, I mean we talked about it you know a lot.
That's why the man goes to shul, that's why the man needs tefillin. Because we can look at the diapers and we can sing and we can, not that you can't or you don't, but it's a different gentleness thankfully. Nachon. But why, why, in this room why would that be controversial? It's never in our walls but often you're saying in the world it's a controversial, nachon, that like the woman is better at this or the, no, it's just the way, it's just the way, I got yelled at over this last night.
Why can't people just understand? It's just the way, it's just the way it is. nachon, nachon. I- there's a lot more to say on that, nachon. But here it's definitely not- it's not a controversial statement.
Okay, so turn the page and he ends off here really, really beautifully.
יש לנצל מאוד את הזמנים העילאיים והנשגבים הללו של עת רצון. The bottom line, make, make the most out of auspicious times. Make the most out of your auspicious- that's the bottom line here.
L'natzel, make the most out of it.
של עת רצון לשפוך שיח בתפילות הבוקעות מעומק הלב. To pour out davenning that's pouring out from the depth of your heart.
להעתיר ולהתפלל בקודש פנימה על עם ישראל.
To le'ateer- you know where that loshon comes from in the Torah, right? Yitzchak and Rivka's davenning. Le'ateer- I'm not even going to go to the English- beseech- these things- these words don't mean anything to us- but to really להיכנס אל הקודש פנימה- it's almost like you- like Esther HaMalka and there's a moment to go into the k'nimshal, the Armon of Melech Achashverosh and to change the trajectory, you know, to change it all at that moment.
פנימה על עם ישראל על הבנים והבנות שיזכו למלא שליחותם. Not just that my children should be shining lights and give me nachas, but that my children should fulfill the mission for which they were sent into the world.
The most auspicious time to daven that your children should do their shlichus is at hadlakat nerot.
לעשות נחת רוח לבורא יתברך שמו. To bring Hashem nachas.
שהיא כל תכלית ביאתם לעולם.
Which is really the purpose they're in the world in the first place.
ועל הצלחתם וטובתם שילכו בדרך הישר והטוב ובדרכי הקדושה ויחזיקו מעמד בניסיונות הקשים שבדור. Listen. He just- he spelled out what I wanted to get to like from the beginning of shiur.
We can't prevent our children from going through the nisyonot that they have to go through based on the generation they live in. We're not keeping them in a box, we're not sheltering them, and even if you thought you could, you can't today. You can't today. There are things- my- one of my older daughters overheard Binny and I talking about something that I wouldn't talk about in front of them, and not about someone, just about a concept.
And then she overheard and she came and joined the conversation and I was like "How in the world do you know about these things?" Like, it's very hard to keep our kids away from any of the things we wish they never had- they were exposed to. So since that's the reality, that's the world we are living in, especially by consciously choosing to live here, and this is a beautiful place, it's not- nothing chalila bad about Efrat, it's the world. We're not living in a closed ghetto. We're just not.
So therefore those moments- the moment that you can daven the most to Hashem that that hashpa'a chitzonit shouldn't come and deter them and push them away from what they really- they should be able to l'hachzik ma'amad that they should be able to stand through tests that are going to be placed before them, that is during the hadlakat nerot. And that, everyone shares. Everyone. I don't know any mother or father, but here we're talking about mothers, that would say "My kids don't need extra, they're good enough, they'll be able to discern between- they'll be able to- to get through any nisayon that this dor presents"- ein davar kaze.
There's no such thing. We all know that. u'kvar nitba'er, we're finishing off here, וכבר נתבאר כי יש כוח גדול לתפילה נאמרת בפשטות ובתמימות. We've already spoken so much about how important it is to remember with all the deep kavanot, the best chassidishe stories always end up with and that guy that didn't know aleph-bet but knew the word Abba was able to save the day, right? The preciousness and- the amazing yakarut, yakar.
Yakar- yakar in Hebrew means precious and expensive, meaning that it's worth a lot, of this davenning b'tmimut u'v'pashitut. There's no kavanot you need for these words of saying "Hashem please let my kids get through all these nisyonot of this dor and stay ne'eman to themselves and fulfill their shlichus in this world." That's it. But but spend a few more seconds with that.
ובפרט תפילת הנשים שכוחה הוא מעבר לכל דמיון.
If that's true, the koach of a tefilla peshuta is true by every man and woman, by every person in the world, it's even more true by the davenning of women whose strength is- me'ever lekol dimyon. It's beyond any imagination.
וכבר נודע על נשים פשוטות בישראל שהתפללו על ילדיהן בזמן הדלקת נרות ויצאו מהן בנים גדולי השם. We have stories of Gedolim.
How did they become Gedolim? Because what their mother prepared a special recipe and then fasted for three months? No. They had the koach of the tefillah peshuta. But they knew what they were davening for and they were mechaven for what they're davening for. So look at the example he gives, כמו שכתוב בספר הקדוש Dath Moshe.
Dath Moshe is Rav Moshe Elyakim Beria, the son of the Kozhnitser Maggid.
סיפר לי הרב הקדוש האדמו"ר זצ"ל על אמו של הרב הקדוש. The mother of a certain Tzaddik, his name was Reb Shmuel Kadnev, שלא הייתה יודעת להתפלל כלום. She didn't know how to daven Shacharis, Mincha or Maariv.
אמנם בשעת הדלקת נרות של שבת התפללה בלשון רוסיא. She davened in Russian: יהי רצון שיהיה בני שמואל תלמיד חכם. That's it. That's it.
יהי רצון שיהיה בני תלמיד חכם. She wasn't cheshbening are she deserving of davening, is she on the level for her tefillos to be heard and all that, that's all the koach of the chitzonim. Am I on the level that my tefillos should be heard is the yetzer hara bemiluo. There is nothing holy about that statement.
That is mamash the yetzer hara, 'Did I, am I really on the level?' Even asking that question. It's not about levels. It's not about levels. lo kashur le'klum.
I'm not saying chalila she was a bad person. It's just that she didn't know how to daven. You say, a woman doesn't know how to daven at all, she's going to come and say 'My Shmuel should be a Talmid Chacham?' Yeah, what are you doing about it for him to be a Talmid Chacham? What am I doing about it? I'm asking for that besha'as hadlakas neiros. And there's nothing more precious than that.
Nothing. If you look down on the bottom Kuf-Ayin-Vav, footnote Kuf-Ayin-Vav, it's one of the mysterious Tzaddikim, the Vladnicker. The Vladnicker, Rav Yisrael Vladnik. It's not, we should do a whole series on him.
He's a sod, the Vladnicker. Reb Shlomo used to have a very famous story he has about him.
וכן מסופר על אמו של הרב הקדוש רבי ישראל דב מולעדניק בעל הספר הקדוש שארית ישראל שסיפר כי בהיותו כבן ארבע או חמש. When he was four or five years old, niftar alav aviv, and his father died.
ve'imo gidlato levada. His mother raised him alone, עד שהיה כבן תשע או עשר ואז נפלה למשכב. And then when he was nine or ten years old his mother got ill and she was on her deathbed.
בראותה כי ימיה ספורים קראה אותי אליה למיטת חוליה וביקשה ממני שאביא לה ספר.
She called me to her bed and said bring me a sefer.
ידעתי שאמי אינה קוראת עברית. I know my mother couldn't read Hebrew.
לפיכך התפלאתי על בקשתה.
I was wondering why you asked for this.
ושאלתי אותה איזה ספר להביא. Which book should I bring you?
השיבה יהיה איזה ספר שיהיה. I brought her any book.
הבאתי לה כרך גדול של הרי"ף. You know who the Rif was? The Rif is a Rishon, he's a peirush on the Gemara. So I brought her a Rif. You're thinking he's going to bring like Tehillim Artscroll or something, no, he brought a Rif.
לקחה אמי את הרי"ף בידיה ואמרה otiyot kedoshot. Holy letters. tivakshu me'hashem yisbarach. Ask from Hashem, שישראל בער שלי יהיה יהודי ירא שמים.
What a story. Holy letters. She's holding a book she can't even read but she knows it's holy. And she says 'Holy letters'.
She's asking the holy letters to come before Hashem. Ask from Hashem that my Yisrael Ber should be a Yid that's yarei Shamayim. Ended up being Rav Yisrael Vladnicker. If you want I could send some stuff on the chat on who he was, his story.
He's a sod, secret, this holy Tzaddik. So anyway, this ends this perek. Of it. The bottom line I think from today is to continue last week's understanding of es ratzon.
You don't want to miss out on itos of ratzon, of moments where the ratzon is just there. Why is it an es ratzon at that time? kacha. That's just what it is. That's why you can't...
Am Segula. Why are we the way we are? Am Segula. ein mah la'asot. So what I love about a Torah like we learned today is that you have the opportunity to plug into this even deeper tomorrow.
I'm sure you're already in this in this parsha. But there's never enough we could ever learn when it comes to... Taking advantage of davening over our children and over our future children and their children and like you're saying, our toldos, meaning our offspring, obviously not just children, but anything that comes out of our ma'asei yadayim, you know?
אל תקרי בניך אלא בוניך.
אל תקרי בניך אלא בוניך.
Halevai there should be a big zechus that children of this generation should grow up in homes that get a glimpse of their parents when they're in this state of davening. I'm telling you, this is more yiddishkeit you can give them than all the years they go to school and learn. Amen. Okay, should be a beautiful, peaceful, miraculous shabbos.