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We need a new definition of success—one that harmonizes meaning and money.
Imagine diving into your workday with renewed energy, leaving behind the exhaustion or dread of a monotonous grind.
Traditional beliefs about success and the root cause of burnout are the same:
Prove yourself.
Work harder.
Take care of the business, and it will take care of you.
We’re recycling the mindset and practices that keep us stuck. Our souls need a jumpstart into The Age of Humanity.
Tune in for a new way of working that honors our nervous system and the bottom line, using knowledge of the brain, the Bible, and business. We’ll discuss timeless truths that amplify growth, ignite change, and reshape the world of work. No corporate speak or business BS. Let’s get to the heart of a rewarding career and profitable growth.
We speak human about business.
What’s in it for You?
Value, Relevance, and Impact (VRI): No, it's not a new tech gadget—it's your ticket to making your work genuinely matter to you and your company.
Human-Centric Insights: We prioritize people over profits without sacrificing the bottom line. Think less "cog in the machine" and more "humans helping humans."
I'm your host, Rebecca Fleetwood Hesson, your thrive guide leading you into the new Age of Humanity. I’ve navigated the highs and lows of business and life, from achieving over $40 million in sales, teaching thousands of people around the world about leadership, trust, execution, and productivity to facing burnout, divorce, raising a couple of great humans (one with ADHD), and navigating the uncertainty of starting a business.
I’m committed to igniting change in the world by jumpstarting business into profitable growth with the timeless truths of our humanity.
Sound crazy? It’s only crazy until it works.
Hit subscribe to never miss an episode, and leave a review to help other listeners discover our show.
Want insight and advice on your real career and business challenges? Connect with me on social media or email me at rebecca@wethrive.live. Your story could spark our next conversation.
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession [00:00:00]:
I'm not coming down I never locked it on the ground I'm not coming down I wanna go higher, higher, Higher than that. Welcome back to the Business is Human podcast. I'm your host, Rebecca Fleetwood Hession, and we're here to bring you episodes that blend meaningful work with profitable success. Here to steward what I call the age of humanity. I believe if we transform the way we work, we can transform the way that we live. As always, my friendly request. If you like what you hear, hit subscribe so you don't miss any episode and leave a review to tell the other humans that they might like it too. Always looking to help you and connect with others.
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession [00:00:41]:
All right, let's get into it, shall we?
David Steele [00:00:43]:
And the problem with not having focus for the first phase of your career, that is to say, the problem with allowing yourself to have myriad interests professionally and other, is it chips away at the probability of you being comfortable financially enough to satisfy your base needs. And so what I would like to posit is that people really, in fact, do focus on the thing that they like the most or hate the least, that has the highest probability of providing financial security for them, and focus solely on that thing until they are comfortable, they have financial security before they begin to have myriad interests. Once they have myriad interests or they start imagining it, they sure as heck better make sure they understand how to scale themselves, which almost always involves delegating, televate, delegating to elevate usually comes with nurturing people earlier on in their careers, empowering them with skills, elevating you to bestow wisdom and then divert your attention to things, other things. And if you want to continue to do that, you're going to have to create organizations, if you will, along the way that have people you've empowered, delegated. And so it's a constant process. And so I just wanted to, because I talked to a lot of younger people who are like, oh, well, you do so cool. And you do finance and music and restaurants and all this cool stuff. Like, I want to do that.
David Steele [00:02:22]:
I'm like, no, you can't do it. I didn't start doing it till I was 42 years old. Prior to that, I was a finance pro.
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession [00:02:30]:
That's just the start of an inspiring conversation with David Steele, founder and CEO of One Wealth Advisors, which is an independent RIA firm handling over a billion dollars in assets. He's also opened seven restaurants in seven years in a very competitive area, the Bay Area, and also has a host of yoga studios. And he's an artist and a Philanthropist and really just an amazing human. And so I took notes again in this conversation for myself because it is a very inspired conversation. And as we talk on this show about business being human, I believe David represents the kind of approach that we can all take notes from in how we lead our team, our business, our life. Can't wait for you to hear this. Here we go. David Steele, welcome to the show.
David Steele [00:03:31]:
Thanks for having me.
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession [00:03:32]:
I am excited about this conversation for a variety of reasons, but mostly because I feel like in the short time that we've already had this discussion that we could go almost anywhere with this conversation. And so we're just going to let what I believe the Lord in running conversation, just going to let him drive. Today I'm going to ask you some questions and we're just going to see where it goes. But I'm going to do a little bit of a setup for our listeners today because business as human is really built on the idea that our human needs and our business needs are different and our best chance at success is when we know how to fuse those together. But one of the things I like to talk about is the history of work and how it's evolved. And you know, back in the agricultural age, farms were about shared food source and how can we work together to survive. And then we got broken up into this industrial age model which is a kind of a fragmented view of work. And now we're coming back to what I call the age of humanity where it is more about people serving people as our fundamental needs to fill our soul.
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession [00:04:38]:
And what I'm hearing from you is that your career is about how can you serve people. And that sounds fundamental, but we have a lot of people out today that it's a very money first kind of vibe. And even though you're a wealth advisor and have worked in finance, what I heard from you immediately was no, it's really about people. Can you share with our listeners a little of that context for you and why you're so passionate about it? It being a community first or a people first approach.
David Steele [00:05:15]:
If there's anything we do that is not about in the service of others, it's not gonna make us happy. It's not gonna be ultimately satisfying. And the more we allow ourselves to focus on anything that isn't primarily in the service of others will fill our lives with the wrong motivations in my mind, the wrong mental framing and we run the risk of being unhappy. I find it very simple.
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession [00:05:43]:
And is that something that has always been a part of your view or has that evolved based on some challenges or some pains? How do you land on that so passionately and with conviction today?
David Steele [00:05:56]:
Well, I give my mother my credit to my mother, who I'd like to think raised me pretty well. Single mom, two kids and I always think she had really good values oriented around being in the service of others. She was a schoolteacher and just her nature was to always try to be a loving, wonderful friend and family member to everybody. So I had really good patterning from her. And before you hit record on this podcast, we talked a little bit about Maslow's hierarchy of needs. I do think that it's probably challenging and maybe impossible and maybe not necessary to be primarily focused on the service of others professionally if we're not certain that we're going to have our base needs of food and shelter taken care of. Ideally, people I think pursue professional endeavors that are both high probability of satisfying your base needs financially and happens to be in the service of others. But I'll tell you, I got out of college, my undergraduate degree and my career path I chose based on we had grown up relatively poor and I didn't want to be poor.
David Steele [00:07:05]:
I hated the feeling. And so I went to the library and opened a book when those were in libraries and looked for the highest paying job with a four year degree. Got it. It said it was a stockbroker. And so I went and got a job at 44 Wall street at a little regional brokerage firm and did really well. I was a persuasive salesperson. I was able to convince people for whatever reason that a 24 year old was knew what he was doing, which I didn't. But I convinced people I did and made money, but was miserable.
David Steele [00:07:34]:
And so all of a sudden I had my base needs taken care of but I was really unhappy. And I don't know if it was how I was raised by my mother or if I was lucky that it was in my nature. I had quickly realized that because I wasn't adding value to people's lives yet, I was making money, there was a disharmony inside of me. And so I actually contemplated leaving that industry because what is now relatively common we call financial planning or wealth management, which is not the sales of investment securities or financial products. It's really being a becoming a trusted advisor to people where you're a legal fiduciary, it's a very high bar. If you are a legal fiduciary and you're an advisor in this capacity, you're adding value to people's Lives, I think, by definition. And so I took about a 75% pay cut when I pivoted from being a financial product salesperson or stockbroker to more of a trusted family financial advisor. And I was happy.
David Steele [00:08:37]:
I was really happy. Now, I didn't have a family at the time. I still run out of a family, but I didn't have kids. I didn't have a spouse who was dependent upon me. So it was really easy for me to make the decision to take the pay cut. So the timing was really good. I'm very, I feel very blessed that I was able to arrive at that realization at such an early start. Page a portion of my career.
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession [00:08:58]:
It's an important one because when, before we hit record, I was asking you about the diversity of your business portfolio now. So you've obviously been very successful in this advising part of finance because your firm is now at about a $1 billion in ass firm where you're out helping people. But I think that also speaks to the fact that the more that you help people in an honest, transparent way, that wealth is more available to you, oftentimes in a way that does feel good. But then you've added restaurants and yoga studio and philanthropy. And now that your basic needs are met, you're able to really tap into that creativity and the, the diversification. But what advice do you have for those people that are saying, oh, I love that he's doing all of these different things, because you have a very specific guidance on that for people. How did you get to this point of having such diversity in your life and your business?
David Steele [00:10:00]:
I was a boring finance advisor from the age of 24 until the age of 42. I'd worked in restaurants all through high school and college. I knew I wanted to eventually open a restaurant, but I didn't want to do so until I knew I had financial security and I opened my first restaurant at 42. It did really, really well. We've turned. I have a restaurant company. We have seven restaurants with a consumer packaged goods business. I'm executive chairman of the company and I've since opened a chain of yoga studios and do all of this other stuff.
David Steele [00:10:31]:
But the point of your question is, I did nothing other than being a financial advisor from 24 to 42. And by doing that, it afforded me the ability to secure my financial Future with almost 100% certainty, or I didn't have to worry about it. I had built that practice with my brother, who was my first hire in that business. He's six years younger than I AM. And so I hired him six years after I started in the business. And he and I built business the right way, one client at a time, slow and steady, very patiently. And then I had this relative comfort and I went to him and I said, hey, I want to try to scratch the stitch. He was a chef in college, so we both worked in restaurants all through his going to college.
David Steele [00:11:19]:
So he had some empathy for me. And I went to, I guess 75% time in the financial advisory business and opened my first restaurant and it succeeded radically. But had it not, I'm not sure I would have had the confidence to do all these other things. But because that was successful, I started to figure out how to scale myself. That is to build teams and delegate responsibility and oversee the delegation and coach, but not do all of the tasks. That model then afforded me the ability to then repeat it in other businesses as well. Beyond just what was then a financial planning company that was very successful with a 12 person team and a restaurant company that's now a 250 person team and a yoga studio company that has six yoga studios and a music festival company and so forth. And these are all different organizations, but really I'm applying the same approach, which is organize people around a central idea, coach, delegate, nurture and scale.
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession [00:12:24]:
What you're describing from a nervous system perspective is really honoring because you can't tap into that creative place in your nervous system unless your basic needs are met, that you have that sense of safety, you have that sen. If love and connection that you're going to be okay, then you can start to connect with others in a meaningful way. And I love that you've done this as a practice because now like you said, you can, you can apply this to yoga studios, music festivals, restaurants. You have this kind of framework that you've built. And the other thing that I love about what you said is that it sounds like it's very much based on connection versus control when it comes to people. Because I run into clients and folks that I interview that have this sense they have to do it all, they have to control it all. And that's a tough way to grow. But it sounds like you've figured out how to hire the right people and put the right systems and processes in place.
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession [00:13:28]:
What advice would you give people that are thinking about, you know what, I now have a decent amount of wealth. I do want to go out and maybe explore some of this diversification. How have you been successful in hiring the right people and creating those connections with people and for people?
David Steele [00:13:45]:
Well, I have a saying and any, any of the people in my sphere that happen to listen to this podcast are going to laugh because they've heard me say this so many times. But I call the disease of non scale of non personal scalability is the following statement. If you want something done right, do it yourself. So much narciss in that idea. It's a shame. I mean I'm as you were talking about my model if you will. My playbook for organization building where I'm at now is really trying and I've just begun thinking this way is really my partners in my business, I'm really trying to push them for them to do with others what I'm trying to do. I'm not saying they need to go start other businesses, but they can in fact teach this idea.
David Steele [00:14:33]:
And maybe it's hiring. It probably is hiring. I probably have not hired people who want or need the credit for the creation. I don't care to have credit for the things I've been involved in creating. I like to be known as somebody who was a co founder of stuff that's cool, that feels good for my ego, but I don't have a need to be the person who did it. And so I think I've probably done a good job of hiring and eventually elevating and making partner people who like sharing the credit and like sharing responsibility and the symbiosis of specialization of their particular area of focus and like delegating and coaching and nurturing and developing people.
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession [00:15:27]:
Yeah, well it's all of those skills that. Well I worked for the last 30 plus years teaching people and helping people understand the importance of those skills when too often it gets focused that those are the soft skills when in fact those are the things that matter most. Your ability to coach and nurture. And it doesn't really matter who gets the credit, but let's work together to make sure we're serving a client. And you said this about the financial advisement business was it was one client at a time and it sounds like you build from a let's make sure we have the core really well done and then we'll start layering on more and more and more as we can versus approaching things with a bigger is better mindset.
David Steele [00:16:21]:
One of the great things we can do as human beings is really resist envy and FOMO and comparing ourselves to others. Especially in this day and age with us only really being exposed to the rare radical short term success stories or at least what we see of these success stories, it feels like it was Overnight successes. The reason companies go bankrupt is they borrow money. The reason individuals fail in endeavors often is because they're. There's almost like an emotional debt they're acquiring where they're saying, I have to achieve this thing in this certain period of time. And what they do is they basically make commitments to themselves and the other people that are involved in the pursuit. And I think if we would just change our expectations, I mean, some of this is spend less than you make. And if you're always spending less than you make, then you can make the right decision in the name of long term sustainability rather than short term reward.
David Steele [00:17:27]:
That may be inconsistent with this ideal you're pursuing.
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession [00:17:31]:
You talk about the Wall street to Main street view of things and I have shifted from working predominantly with large organizations previously to more of the small to mid size business as a coach and a consultant. And I thoroughly enjoy that because I believe that the three month result expectation in the publicly traded market really creates an unrealistic expectation or it just doesn't allow for some of the natural maturation that needs to take place. Thoughts about that?
David Steele [00:18:11]:
I completely agree. When I do some business consulting and I always tell the entrepreneur, if you cook a chicken at a thousand degrees, it's going to burn and not taste good. And if you cook a chicken at 100 degrees, it's never going to cook. But if you cook a chicken at 375, when exactly is it going to be done? Well, you got to test it and it'll be done when it's done. And when it's done, it's delicious. And so cook your chicken at 375, not too much, not too little, and accept the fact that it's going to be done when it's done.
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession [00:18:41]:
Oh, that is so good. We happen to be recording during Thanksgiving week, so if we could just, we.
David Steele [00:18:46]:
Have a tree, we can.
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession [00:18:47]:
Thanks for turkey.
David Steele [00:18:48]:
Yeah.
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession [00:18:50]:
Well, Tina, we can dig into that metaphor for so many business lessons. What's the quality of the chicken? What's the nature of the oven? Was it, you know, is it on its last leg or is it the one that your grandmother's had for a million years and it's going to go for a million more? And is it really 375 or is it, have you tested like there are so many elements to success that people want to either ignore or shortcut and you're just not going to get the sustainability and the enjoyment out of the process.
David Steele [00:19:29]:
But you know, some businesses have a high probability of success and require low capital. Those are service businesses. Some have low capital requirements and almost no probability of success. Those are usually artists, right? I mean, it's just unfortunately, you know, for every Banksy, there's quite literally millions of artists that think they are as good as Banksy and going to be as successful or at least successful enough. That's a low probability business. Doing financial advisory work is such a wonderful business because it has a high probability of success if it's one client at a time. And again, it's low capital required to start the business. So I do think there's something to be said about which endeavor you pursue and if there's a lot of success stories out there for you to have a playbook to execute on.
David Steele [00:20:21]:
So I don't. I want to make sure we caution people against applying this sort of one client at a time, low and slow, be patient mentality around a low probability business. Because unfortunately I will not be President of the United States or a professional quarterback of an NFL team. And had I tried to be either, I would almost certainly have been disappointed.
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession [00:20:45]:
So how would you advise someone who's thinking about either adding on some exploration of new businesses now that their wealth is, is in a good place for them, or that person that's in that early to mid career that wants to make sure that they are doing the work that is best suited for their highest degree of success, however they frame that. How do you know that you're moving in the right direction?
David Steele [00:21:14]:
Well, I want to distinguish wealth from income. For example, I do have. Personally, my wealth is strong. A lot of it is illiquid. The businesses I start, I. I've always tried to build generational businesses that could be sold, but I choose not to sell them and they're private. So there's no place for me to sell my stock, if you will. But I have really strong income because I have set up what I call generational businesses.
David Steele [00:21:39]:
The cash flow is really strong and it affords me to. I mean, let's face it, you can have a strong income and as long as your expenses are lower than it, and if the income is reliably sustainable, you actually don't really have to have wealth, which is a big distinction. And if you're never going to retire, you actually don't really even have to have wealth for retirement. Like I never want to retire. I love what I do. And fortunately what I do I think is a. I'm able to do until my. I lose my wits.
David Steele [00:22:08]:
I probably. I'm clarifying because you had said when somebody's wealth Gets to a certain point, we as a rule, 4%. So if you need $200,000 a year to live on, then you probably have to have accumulated wealth of $5 million or something like that to eliminate income that has quit your job to have enough income from your investment portfolio to then pursue being a visual artist or being a consultant or whatever the heck you want to then pursue. If you have a job that pays you that $200,000 and that's enough to live on, and you can go part time or do something else as a side hustle, that works as well. So I do want to distinguish wealth from income. And they can harmonize and they can work together or they can be instead of each other.
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession [00:22:59]:
That's a great distinction. I'm glad that you, you brought that. Take that step and say, okay, so if, if it is more about exploring something that you're curious about so you don't have to quit the job that you're in, there may be something else that you want to explore. How would you advise that person?
David Steele [00:23:20]:
Well, that brings me to a thing I often talk about, which is the constraints of binary thinking. And I think humans, we've created a lot of stuff that are binaries. I think it's not shocking that we have Democrats and Republicans.
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession [00:23:36]:
Don't get me started. We can go down a whole biblical thing about factions and I can go crazy with that. School is not supposed to be divided into grades. And don't push that button on me, David. We don't have time for that.
David Steele [00:23:46]:
Well, I'll push the button.
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession [00:23:48]:
Agree.
David Steele [00:23:48]:
I'll push the button to say, why do we have God and devil so Right? I mean, these are the, you know, why are men privileged over women in society? You know, there's privileging that happens in that binary. And so I have my master's in postmodern literary theory with a focus on deconstructionism, which is this idea of trying to point out in society, in our human experience, the fictional manufactured creation of binaries by humanity and to shine a light on the synthetic nature of those binaries, the non sacred nature, those binaries. So then I get often asked, I live in New York, San Francisco and Tahoe. Well, where's your primary residence? Why do I have to have one? People just can't wrap their heads around it. Yeah, but where's your home? What do you mean they just can't wrap their heads around it?
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession [00:24:45]:
You think that's part of safety? That people feel safer if they can honor the way that this binary Thinking has been socialized.
David Steele [00:24:54]:
Yes, so.
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession [00:24:56]:
So it's not a real thing. It's just something we've created, a construct that makes us feel safe, even though it's not.
David Steele [00:25:02]:
I think it works for some people. I mean, let's face it, it works for people in marriages, right? You have a spouse and there's one spouse. I mean, there's alternative ways of doing that in this day and age. But you know, I mean, I think there is a, there is a safety to that concept. I mean, it's inarguable biologically that we have children. Right? I mean, but it is not necessarily that. It's, you know, a husband and a wife and 2.2 kids or. I have no problem with people choosing that.
David Steele [00:25:32]:
And there is a comfort in the normalization of that societally and culturally. I'm not at all saying anything negative about that construct. I think that's a human creation as well. Okay, so where am I going with this job? David, what is your job? Oh, so restaurants are your passion project? No, I'm really passionate about financial advisory. Like really passionate about it. No more or less so than restaurants or music festivals or yoga studios. People just want me to say, okay, you have your day job, but then you have your passion stuff, and I reject that as well. And I believe people go there because of this restriction of binary thinking.
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession [00:26:17]:
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Rebecca Fleetwood Hession [00:26:56]:
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Rebecca Fleetwood Hession [00:28:08]:
And I think the industrial age model of work and school and life has exacerbated that. We like to think about things in business in terms of, you know, an org chart and very linear. And oftentimes the answer is in something far more organic if we allow ourselves to go there.
David Steele [00:28:27]:
Yeah, it's interesting because my financial planning company grew so rapidly. In about a four or five year period of time, my brother and I woke up and we were like, heck, we started as a five person business at its core when it was really humming. It was a five person business. And next thing you know, we woke up, we were 12, and we toppled our assets under management, our client base, and we were on a path to being, you know, on our way to being a 50 person company. It, it was, we were staring at it and we just stopped. We said, that's not who we want to be. Because at that point in time, we would no longer be doing what we're doing. What I mean, I am both CEO of a company, One Wealth Advisors.
David Steele [00:29:14]:
I'm also an advisor to about 75 clients. My brother is chief operating officer. He really runs the company more than anybody does. And he's an advisor probably to 70 or 80 clients as well. And we wear many hats. We love wearing many hats. And when you have a small business, you get to wear many hats. That's fun.
David Steele [00:29:34]:
It's really dynamic. And as you grow organizationally, you go from one person doing 10 people's jobs to five people doing three people's jobs each, to one person doing one person's job to one person running a division of five people doing one part of the business. And next thing you know, you wake up one day and it's not what you had. And you have to be very careful about that. When you have a lot of success, it's really, I think, natural to just assume that you have to just keep going, keep growing. We are growing. We grew 32% year over year in that company. But how we bring clients on who, frankly, we accept and onboard as clients has changed.
David Steele [00:30:19]:
And we've been very judicious about developing mastery within the team to allow us to not grow headcount as rapidly and still grow the business. What I'm arguing for is being thoughtful about it.
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession [00:30:32]:
What are some of the ways that you feel your way through that? Because it's less of a. When we get to this amount of money, we'll hire this many people in this role, and they'll do these things, which is kind of a traditional corporate growth plan. What is it that you and your brother do differently? Where you are able to sense that. Hold on. Are we taking this thing where we want to go? What's. How should we do it differently? What do you think it is between you two that allows you to sense that shift?
David Steele [00:31:04]:
I don't know. I mean, I just think we looked at our day, week, month, quarter, and what we were spending our time doing, and it became more and more managing people and developing people, coaching people, meetings, meetings, meetings, meetings. And it's fine. You have to have meetings. I mean, you have to be organized and. Yeah, but there was just. It became a bit too much of that and less spending time with the client, less spending time with the whole group of the team and being broken into divisions of the team. And so now divisions were fiefdoms.
David Steele [00:31:46]:
And so we just. I don't know, we just felt it.
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession [00:31:49]:
And I was hoping that would be your answer, because when I'm coaching with clients and they're talking about their plans and their growth plans, their companies and the sales figures and the sales goals, I say, well, how do you want to spend your days? Let's build a business that you enjoy working in. Because why, why bother? You get paid, you know, twice a month. You go to work every day. What do you want to be doing? What is it that really gives you a sense of feeding your soul? And let's make sure you build a business that does that. And if at any point that you feel off, let's pause and look around and say, okay, did we accidentally get to a place that we're not really that aligned with our soul in this work? I don't think that's an unrealistic way to do business. I don't think that's Airy Fairy Instagram. Woo. I think.
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession [00:32:42]:
I think we have a really strong internal guidance system that we have dialed back a little too much to live in societal norms.
David Steele [00:32:51]:
Yeah, I agree with you. Yeah. My restaurant company there was. When we opened the first restaurant, I knew every person's name and the truth is it's a much lower margin, higher capital cost business, dare I say it's a less good business. I love it. I'm thrilled. I went down the path, but it's a more challenging business and my partners in that business, the executive team, to be blunt, make less money than my partners in my financial planning company do. Why it's a less good business.
David Steele [00:33:28]:
We had to scale it. We had to grow it. We're at 250 employees and I know about 30 of their names, and there's nothing I can do about it. It's. The genie's out of the bottle and there was no way around it, because in order for my partners and my, My team and that company has been together for 15, 16 years now. We've all. We're still together. We basically, most of us have been together for waiver, the executive team.
David Steele [00:33:55]:
It's a great partnership and we can go on and on about that. We can go down a rabbit hole about that story also and why I think that is. But the point is that we just had to grow it to a point where it wasn't what we had before. And we were forced to because the reality of what we talked about earlier, which is the hierarchy of needs and financial security, the people I started that business with, they deserve to have financial security as well. We had to grow to get them there. And we're not, frankly, there yet. As big as and successful as we are, it's. We're still pursuing that goal for them.
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession [00:34:29]:
That's a long time to be with the same core executive team in that industry, isn't it?
David Steele [00:34:35]:
It is. I'm very proud of that.
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession [00:34:37]:
So what is that?
David Steele [00:34:38]:
Well, first and foremost, I am a very interesting. Philosophically, I am what I call a socialistic capitalist. I own 20% of that company. I started it. And the person I hired, who was 24 at the time, Chef Tom, who's now the CEO of the company, he's 40, he owns more than I do. And I started the company. The point I was trying to make is that I've always believed deeply in an ownership of my companies across the executive teams. So keeping people together, you know, you do have to follow the money.
David Steele [00:35:15]:
And as a founder, I am very willing to make a financial sacrifice in the name of having my team members feel the generosity. Not so they feel good about me, but so they feel good about what we're building together and they don't feel resentful. And that's a bit of a fine balance. But I would rather over Index on that than under index. And I. That is my primary reason for. Or my. I'd say this is the primary reason why I've been able to keep my teams together for as long as I have.
David Steele [00:35:51]:
And that's across all of my businesses that I'm involved with. There. There's just teams that have been together for a very, very long time. There's also, I believe, base motivation for human beings is they want to feel valued. And if human beings, if, if I know that as a founder, then everything I do has to have some aspect of it making the person I'm involved with feel valued. And you can do that through giving them agency and equity through creation, intra company creation decisions that are made. You can do that with investors who invest in your businesses and making them feel valued by communicating with them. It's.
David Steele [00:36:34]:
It goes back to what we talked about originally. It's always about people and being in the service of people.
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession [00:36:39]:
That couldn't be a better illustration of business as human if I tried the way that you. Are they safe? Are they financially able to care for themselves? Do they have agency? Do they know their value? Is their value being utilized in the company for decisions? Such a beautiful illustration of what I hope is the future of business, that we can look at it through the lens of humanity. Not just the money making as the goal make money, but so people can feel safe, so people can have the best life for themselves.
David Steele [00:37:18]:
It's not a zero sum game. My philosophy in life is that of abundance and not scarcity. When I'm negotiating, I'm not trying to win the negotiation. I'm trying to create a result that is mutually beneficial. And I'm willing to quote, unquote, lose the negotiation. Not by a lot, but I'm willing to lose the negotiation by a little. I have a philosophy with friendships where I say I am willing to do 75% of the work in a friendship. Not a hundred, not more than 75, but 75.
David Steele [00:37:52]:
Why? We're emotional creatures. We never really can judge 50, 50. We can probably judge 75, but we can't judge 50, 50. So if I give myself room to go to 75 and I'm prepared for that, that's my expectation. I'll know who are the people in my life that are. There's equanimity in the relationship.
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession [00:38:13]:
Ooh, that's so good. I want you to package that up as a message that you put out to the world on a regular basis. That's a beautiful way to, to see that. And boy, it sure flies in the face of a lot of the things we talked about earlier about binary thinking. And I think about, I spent about 20 years working for the Franklin Covey organization and I had the blessing to work directly with Dr. Stephen or Covey for a few projects and on some things. And he volunteered to facilitate Win Win agreements and helping people facilitate a lot of what you're talking about with Democrats and Republicans against a particular issue with people who were very much, staunchly committed to that binary thinking. And he said, let's just have a conversation.
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession [00:39:08]:
I will come and facilitate this. And the unwillingness to do so was the problem. It wasn't that it couldn't be done. It was their unwillingness to do what you're talking about to be able to say, okay, I'm going to. I'm going to invest more than 50%, I'm going to go all in, just to see if we can come up with some sort of symbiotic relationship. And the fact that you enter into your business relationships like that as a standard has answered my question about why do you have a restaurant executive team that's still together for or 20 years in an industry that's typically pretty transactional? So I think you've just articulated that.
David Steele [00:39:50]:
Well, the alternative to it is dehumanizing the person you're in negotiation with.
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession [00:39:55]:
And some people are willing to do that.
David Steele [00:39:56]:
We see them in the press every day.
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession [00:39:59]:
So that's some takeaway that anybody in any business situation, relationship, personal or business, quite frankly, if you're willing to go 75%, that could make all the difference in the world.
David Steele [00:40:13]:
Well, I'm not married, but my goodness, I think if I was and I took that approach to my spouse, the probability of a successful marriage may be higher. I mean, if that was your attitude with your spouse or your child or really anybody, because you're just not capable of judging 50 50. I don't think we are capable of it.
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession [00:40:34]:
It wouldn't be a shared 50 50. Right. My idea of 50 50. And your idea of 5050 is going to be different already. So we're already coming out of the box with discrepancy. I do this funny little exercise with teams sometimes where I'll say, hey, I'm gonna give you a word. I want you to write down as many words, that word association you think of when you hear this word. And I'll use a word that's usually industry specific for them, you know, healthcare or whatever.
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession [00:40:58]:
And I'll say, how many five or six people around a table, how many of these words do you think are gonna map and they'll forecast, you know, four or five? Yeah, we're in healthcare. We get it. I'm like, okay. And it's always zero. But occasionally it's one match. And then I'll say, okay, maybe that word's a little too squishy. Let's use a common everyday word like dog or cat. And then we do the same exercise zero, every time.
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession [00:41:21]:
And what I think is fascinating about this is we all want to be known for our uniqueness. We all want to be known for our authenticity. We want everybody to know that we are different until we get in a room together, until we get in around the table, and then we're so damn mad that we're different.
David Steele [00:41:39]:
Well, can I change your word different to special?
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession [00:41:42]:
Yes, absolutely. I often use unique, and I use the term not wrong, just different a lot of times, too. And it's just. It's fascinating to me that we don't come into a relationship or a team assuming that we're not going to see it similarly. We're not supposed to be seeing it similarly. So to be able to say, because of that, I'm willing to go in 75% to make sure that we can all win.
David Steele [00:42:08]:
The 75% is an, for me, is an internal thing. I don't ever tell somebody, hey, I'm willing to do 75% of the work. Although plenty of the people in my sphere have heard me say that because of the philosophy of mine. But where I'm in a relationship with somebody, friendship, professional, whatever, I don't let them know, hey, by the way, I'm keeping score. I'm looking for seven.
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession [00:42:30]:
Right? Because that takes away the whole.
David Steele [00:42:32]:
It's.
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession [00:42:32]:
It.
David Steele [00:42:33]:
It's a. It's a mental framing to give myself a release valve when I'm disappointed in somebody.
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession [00:42:38]:
Say more about that.
David Steele [00:42:40]:
If somebody is doing 26% of the work, inevitably I can easily say, all right, well, they didn't do this or that. I'm not asking them to do all of those things because my expectations are not that they're going to meet me halfway. And so it allows me to bite my tongue when I otherwise would feel like I have to advocate for myself. In this instance, people can take advantage of you. That is unfortunately a thing in this world. And so you unfortunately have to advocate for yourself. And if a relationship is violating this framing of equanimity that I, or whatever somebody chooses to create, they get down the relationship. You have to be bold and in the relationship.
David Steele [00:43:26]:
And that unfortunately, happens for all of us. And so many of us stay in relationships that aren't serving us. And maybe we're not serving them. The relationship isn't serving either of us. But we're afraid. The emotional attachment is so strong subconsciously that you're just afraid of breaking it, of disrupting.
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession [00:43:44]:
Sven just gives us bitterness and all kinds of things that bleed over into other parts of our lives that we're not paying attention to. I can remember when my daughter was in sixth grade, she says to me one day, so and so, can't even remember the boy's name. Wants to know if I'll be his girlfriend. Do I say yes? And I said, I don't know. Are you going to be strong enough to break up if it ever becomes a no? Because to me, if you're willing to be entering into relationship, you have to only do that if you know you're strong enough to say I want.
David Steele [00:44:17]:
Well, she's going to. I don't know how old she is now, but I have to imagine she's brought that nugget with her through life. And so that's. That's a good one.
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession [00:44:26]:
She's 23 now, so she's. She's still figuring out all the nuances. Because just because mom gives good advice doesn't mean that you don't have to go live some bad experiences on your own to learn really how it works. So that's.
David Steele [00:44:41]:
Let me tell you a story that I think you'll appreciate. A few years ago, for my mother's birthday, I did not send her a card or a gift, which is unusual or anything, and I called her on her birthday. I began the call without saying happy birthday to her, not a word. And she inevitably asked me how I'm doing. And I went on this narcissistic sounding spiel about how all of my businesses were doing so well and my financial planning company was flourishing, and the team was happy and together, and clients were happy, and my restaurant company was flourishing. And I just went on and on about me. And after a little while, I stopped and I said, hey, mom, everything I've built is because you taught me the importance of people in relationships. And I wouldn't have this if not for what you taught me.
David Steele [00:45:30]:
Happy birthday. And so I want I share that with you because of that nugget you just gave your daughter. She's 23. It's coming.
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession [00:45:39]:
Yeah. That's beautiful. There's no place to go after that. That's. That's mic drop moment relationships. That's the bottom line. Right. So it doesn't matter what business you're in.
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession [00:45:52]:
Enter into any business or anything as a relationship. Okay, well, why don't you just come back every few months and we'll just have an inspired discussion about whatever's on your mind. I've thoroughly enjoyed our time together and I know our listeners will too. How can people stay connected to you in some way? Are you. I know you've got some social media handles. Where do you hang out?
David Steele [00:46:16]:
I created a. Because I do all these different things and it's confusing. I created this website, davidsteel xyz, D, A, V I D S, T, E L E, X, Y, Z. And that has all of the stuff I'm involved with. And so that's probably the best place to connect with me.
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession [00:46:34]:
And it's a beautiful site. I say that because as somebody in business that marketing is a necessary part of. You've done a beautiful job of putting all different types of things in there in this cohesive, beautiful, flowy kind of way. So I don't know if I did that for you, but it's really good.
David Steele [00:46:51]:
My web guy, Charlie Viard did it and he's been doing all of my web stuff for most of my businesses for a very long time now. And we're still together.
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession [00:47:00]:
He knows you. You can tell that it was. It's somebody that you hired from a Google Ad. You can tell that he. He knows. That's good. Another beautiful illustration. Thank you so much.
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession [00:47:11]:
I hope you and yours have a beautiful holiday season and I'll look forward to having you back.
David Steele [00:47:17]:
I look forward to it.
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession [00:47:18]:
Thanks, David. I'm not coming down. I never locked it on the ground. I'm not coming. Thanks for being here. You can follow us on Instagram businesses Human or TikTok Rebecca Fleetwood Hession. It's a great way to share some of the clips with your colleagues and friends. All right.
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession [00:47:36]:
Make it a great day. Love you, mean it.