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Welcome to The Foster Friendly Podcast. We’re bringing foster care closer to home by sharing stories from the front lines. We're talking with former foster youth, foster parents and others who are finding unique and powerful ways to dramatically improve the experiences and outcomes for kids in foster care.
The Foster Friendly podcast is brought to you by America’s Kids Belong, a nonprofit that helps kids in foster care find belonging in both family and community.
Woody and Mindy Houser (00:00.078)
This is a different platform.
Travis (00:01.172)
That's new, yep.
Brian Mavis (00:04.059)
Hey Travis, how are you today? Good hey, we're getting to an interview and inspiring couple this morning and this couple has specialized caring for kids with high level medical needs and actually that's how Julie and I started as well. And then for those who aren't aware who are listening to this many states and maybe most of them when.
Travis (00:05.428)
Hey, hey, I'm doing good, doing good.
Brian Mavis (00:33.595)
They designate these higher level needs for kids needing medical or behavioral emotional support as therapeutic foster homes. So we're getting to interview the housers today and they have a huge heart for these kids who have special needs and also have a huge heart for the biological families and helping them. And so really looking forward to it.
getting to know them and learning from them. So Travis, you've met them before, so how about you help us in introducing them?
Travis (01:11.124)
Yeah. Yeah. So really, really love talking to Woody and Mindy before I'm from North Dakota. They're South Dakota people. So I think I heard this, the state tree in South Dakota is a telephone pole. Is that still the, it's not that many things have changed, but, but yeah, but yeah, tell us more about yourselves, you know, what you guys do and what life looks like in South Dakota for you guys.
Woody and Mindy Houser (01:12.748)
Okay, yeah we we own a
Brian Mavis (01:24.379)
Hahaha.
Woody and Mindy Houser (01:38.636)
real estate and property management business, which does allow us to be a little bit more flexible in our lives. We work hard, but we also have flexible time that makes it probably easier to take care of these kids that need a lot of doctor's appointments, visits, all that kind of stuff. So that's pretty much, I mean, we thought it, yeah, one of the questions was, what do you do for fun? Like, well, we do kids stuff, mostly.
We have five kids and none of them have kids yet, but we do a lot of family stuff and Woody farms and has cows for fun. He doesn't make any money. It's a hobby. It's a hobby. Definitely a hobby. Yep. I like to read and do things that I can do, you know, when I'm watching a kid or whatever. So that's pretty much.
Brian Mavis (02:20.731)
Yeah.
Brian Mavis (02:29.339)
Do you know how to make $100 ,000 farming? You start with $200 ,000. You start with $200 ,000 and then you make $100 ,000. So.
Woody and Mindy Houser (02:34.251)
Yeah, you tell me I'd like to I'm still worried
Woody and Mindy Houser (02:43.274)
Right. Yeah, that's how you make 100 year recovery. Yeah, that's right. Yeah.
Brian Mavis (02:46.523)
huh. And I'm curious, without revealing exactly where you are, are you in the state, are you east or west of this?
Travis (02:47.925)
That's funny, though.
Woody and Mindy Houser (03:00.362)
So we're just 30 miles south of Sioux Falls. So we're in the east, southeast side of South Dakota. Our house is actually 18 miles from Iowa and 25 miles from Nebraska. So we're right there. And it is a very difference. A good question because West River has a lot of different qualities than East River anymore. And we find that out in foster care because when I have...
Brian Mavis (03:04.283)
Okay.
Brian Mavis (03:13.979)
Gotcha. All right. Yeah.
Woody and Mindy Houser (03:29.641)
When I work with the Rapid City office, it's a different experience than working with any of the Sioux Falls, Brookings, from any of our East River offices. And when Mindy says East River, she's the Missouri River basically splits South Dakota. So.
Brian Mavis (03:46.043)
Right. That's why I always felt like South Dakota shouldn't be North and South Dakota, but East and West Dakota.
Travis (03:46.388)
Mmm.
Woody and Mindy Houser (03:50.121)
Yeah. It's more east west. That is I don't know about North Dakota. It's that way.
Travis (03:51.124)
East or West?
Travis (03:57.396)
Yeah, no, yeah. Well, it's in a big state too. There's a lot, yeah, it's a lot of land. So, well, let's dive right into kind of going back into the origin of your guys' journey in foster care. So take us back to that. When did it start? What did things look like? And kind of up to where it's led you now.
Woody and Mindy Houser (04:16.2)
We, really you have to go back to how we started the journey, would have been when we were having kids. We have a deceased daughter, Miranda, that was stillborn and that led Mindy, me to come home one day and Mindy says, what do you think about adopting from overseas? And so our two middle kids are adopted from Korea at four and four and a half months. And then we had another biological child and then...
And then I came home again one day and Mindy says, what do you think about doing foster care? And I'm like, okay. I didn't know where we were going with it. And then that led to a phone call, which led to the beginning of foster kids. And our first foster child is actually a member of our family, as well as his biological family is members of ours too. So, and then that led to, he had no medical needs.
But then that led to, they wanted to do a placement with us for a young man that's now in Oklahoma. And he had a cleft lip and palate and that led us into the medical side of it. I think it was mainly because I had more free time and they didn't want him to go to daycare and I was able to be home at that point. And so they just said, what do you think? Can you try this with a feeding tube and everything? And I'm like, I'll give it a try. And since then we get just kind of the more
difficult medical kids that a lot of other people aren't able to handle. The one we have now is on a ventilator at night. He's got a trach, G2, just lots of different, he's got a genetic syndrome. So it's more challenging. I got a lot more doctor's appointments and you have a lot more to learn and get accustomed to. But yeah, that's how we ended up where we are now. And he's leaving soon, so we're gonna do it again after that.
One of the things that's happened to that evolved as we've gone through the medical part, Mindy's medical team has gotten bigger, bigger and bigger, whether it be respiratory therapists or physicians or eye doctor, Dr. Tufty's great in respiratory. And some of them have even moved on that we miss one of our respiratory doctors is moving on and.
Woody and Mindy Houser (06:44.39)
She said I could friend her on Facebook. The last time I saw her, I'm like, I feel like I need to send you a Christmas card or something, because we've been together for eight years, 10 years almost, you know? And so she's like, I'm on Facebook. Once we're not patient doctors, we can do that. So, but yeah, it just, now when I get a kid, I mean, I call all the services myself. I call the...
Travis (06:50.292)
Ha ha ha.
Brian Mavis (06:50.843)
Thank you.
Woody and Mindy Houser (07:09.22)
early childhood education, get that lined up, because I have all those contacts. I have the doctors, I asked for the same team of doctors. We have a great pediatrician. So it just really, that's some, I mean, when you talk about challenges, that's, or benefits of doing this kind of care, that's just the most wonderful thing. The people that have gotten to know the relationships I've made, just really great people that have come into our lives because of this.
Brian Mavis (07:36.987)
So my wife and I started in a similar way. We started with medically fragile infants and ours were all typically the same as far as being born addicted to all sorts of things. Have you guys had that kind of experience or no? Really?
Woody and Mindy Houser (07:53.795)
That is the one thing we haven't had. We haven't had a... Yeah. Yeah. And not that we didn't have parents that were using, you know, the, well... And maybe, actually, maybe you could say, but mostly they were, we take a lot of really, really premature babies, like 24 weeks, and they're supposed to incubating for 40 weeks. You know, it's pretty... So, but we don't get them until they're out of the NICU, which means they're four months or whatever. So...
Brian Mavis (08:02.331)
Sure.
Travis (08:11.092)
Mmm.
Brian Mavis (08:13.115)
Right.
right.
Woody and Mindy Houser (08:23.298)
I wouldn't be surprised if some of the long -term effects that they have are fetal alcohol syndrome, but I don't feel like we've dealt with some of those, the things that are more immediate for the drug -addicted babies.
Brian Mavis (08:36.795)
So for our listeners, I imagine there are some people out there who are compelled by this opportunity to specialize with medically fragile or higher medical needs kids. Mandy, you mentioned something about that it requires more time. So you were able to do it because your living situation, work situation.
Woody and Mindy Houser (08:49.633)
Mm -hmm.
Brian Mavis (09:07.067)
so that's one factor, but also, I mean, do you have a medical background? I mean, how many people, I mean, there are people out here like I'm interested in that, but I can't do it because I don't know anything about.
Woody and Mindy Houser (09:15.905)
No. Right. That is people always ask me, are you a nurse? And I just say no. And I know a lot about a very few things because if I get asked to take a child, I learn all about that particular thing I learned. And I spend a lot of time in the NICU with the nurses learning about their care. The like the little guy we now I'd never heard of this genetic syndrome, but I sure know a lot about it now and how to care for him. But.
Travis (09:16.788)
Mm -hmm.
Hmm.
Brian Mavis (09:20.923)
Okay.
Woody and Mindy Houser (09:45.76)
I went into this absolutely knowing nothing. None of our kids had any health problems at all. So it's, and I, I've said that before, like there is nothing about this that you can't learn, nothing about these kids that you can't be taught. So it's just a matter of, do you want to, do you want to do that? I love it. I love learning new things. I love, you know, picking up new knowledge and, and the doctors know that. So they'll give me 10 bits of things that, you know,
They might not tell every parent, but it just, that's one of the great things about it is just to learn so much and you don't have to know anything going into it. And as far as the flexibility, it's certainly, I have a nurse now for our little guy. So, you know, depending on where you are, I work now and I have a nurse 32 hours a week. And so we just make our appointments on the day that I'm off, if you know, and you can, social workers can take kids to appointments.
Brian Mavis (10:23.067)
Mm -hmm.
Woody and Mindy Houser (10:44.383)
I prefer to take mine because then I hear it firsthand, you know, on what's going on and everything. But you certainly can work with the social services to have them take the kids if that interferes with your work. So I don't think work should interfere with that either.
Brian Mavis (10:49.371)
Right.
Travis (11:02.004)
Hmm.
Brian Mavis (11:02.171)
So I'm curious when you guys did this and you have your own kids, were they around and in the house and helping out? I mean, and partly I asked this because my own daughters, you know, elementary school, they're getting ready for school. They got a bowl of cereal on one hand, holding a baby that's hooked up to an oxygen, you know, tank on the other. And so...
Woody and Mindy Houser (11:19.294)
Mm -hmm, yep.
Travis (11:24.34)
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm. Mm.
Woody and Mindy Houser (11:30.493)
yeah, yep.
Brian Mavis (11:31.995)
Did your kids get involved?
Woody and Mindy Houser (11:34.398)
yeah, big time. They were involved right from, that's one of the things we think helps all these kids. And in your case, I would assume the same thing is that family unit of the other kids helps, helps propel these and helps them grow, helps the foster kids grow. And helps the biological. And helps the biological. Our kids, you know, we had, well, both of our parents were both like, aren't you going to take away from the other kids? And in actuality, we both think it.
Brian Mavis (11:46.299)
Mm -hmm.
Travis (11:54.132)
Yeah.
Woody and Mindy Houser (12:03.645)
the other kids blossom because of it. And they wanted to be involved. You know, after we, we've had a couple times between kids where we've had some time and it's always interesting when the kids were at home to see how long they would last. Because most of the time they came to us and said, when are you guys, when are we getting another kid? It wasn't the era where we were convincing them, they were convincing us that, okay, it's been two days, gotta get another one. Yeah.
Brian Mavis (12:24.635)
Yes.
Woody and Mindy Houser (12:31.644)
And I even like, you know, our one son is not, I mean, he is not going to step in and unhook a feeding tube or anything, but he would be on the floor with these guys and just playing with them and talking to them. And, and our oldest daughter, she was I think in maybe sixth, seventh grade when we started and she went on to be a pediatric or a NICU nurse. And a lot of it is because of yeah, what she saw.
Brian Mavis (12:44.859)
Yeah.
Brian Mavis (12:55.867)
Interesting.
Travis (12:57.584)
Hmm
Woody and Mindy Houser (12:59.644)
growing up is that that's she doesn't she just yeah and she works with the the tiniest of the tiny babies and she loves it so i think it had something even our youngest one our youngest boy why he i mean he knows how to do a g -tube and a feeding tube and the trach and the hmes and suction machines and he knows he can run it all he he really is he might not choose to but if i needed him to but if we needed him and then
Brian Mavis (13:09.435)
Wow.
Travis (13:27.028)
You know it's how.
Woody and Mindy Houser (13:28.028)
And then even now we went, Ivan's going to his forever home here in the next, or Joaquin in the next month or so. And my youngest son went with Mindy for the visit, said, I'll drive up with you. And took him out there. When I said, do you want to come with us when we take him to stay? And he said, yeah, definitely. So they all want to be involved. And I mean, yeah, our daughter's coming down on Thursday just because she wants to spend.
Travis (13:43.508)
Hmm.
Travis (13:50.452)
awesome.
Woody and Mindy Houser (13:55.932)
some more time with him before he leaves. Yeah, so it's a family thing. So.
Brian Mavis (14:00.603)
I love that. That's something I definitely want to highlight is, you know, there are stories of like where being a foster parent, the kids felt your own, your own children felt neglected. But there are, and that story gets told. I want to highlight that there's a whole other story out there and we had the same experience. Our daughters, they were really positively impacted. I mean, first of all, they were very helpful.
Travis (14:02.724)
Thank you.
Travis (14:18.068)
Mm -hmm.
Woody and Mindy Houser (14:19.684)
Yeah.
Woody and Mindy Houser (14:27.964)
Yeah, yep.
Brian Mavis (14:30.427)
And like in the same ways and helping those children grow, but they were also positively impacted in becoming more aware and compassionate. and my, my oldest daughter was a foster adoptive mom and yeah.
Woody and Mindy Houser (14:36.316)
Yeah.
Woody and Mindy Houser (14:39.738)
Yep. Well, and what it, she is, that's so cool. It's amazing too, what they learned about the world because we have a certain lifestyle, we have a certain income, you know, that's what they're used to. That's what most people in our area live at this level. And then for them to see people, we had a foster daughter who was in Omaha and she was, we were afraid she was gonna die. And so the mom,
Travis (14:45.556)
Hmm.
Brian Mavis (14:58.043)
Mm -hmm.
Woody and Mindy Houser (15:06.2)
The biological mom got money from the tribe to drive down to Omaha. She had a flat tire. She had to use the money for the flat tire. So she had no money for gas. And my kids are like, what? You know, like, what does that even, how does that happen? You know, I'm like, that's the reality for a lot of people in this world is they don't have money. Just, you know, you can't go to the ATM. You just, when you get, yeah. So for them to see that side of things and see some of the...
Travis (15:20.052)
Hmm. How does that happen?
Brian Mavis (15:22.203)
right?
Woody and Mindy Houser (15:34.744)
the harder things that people face and the choices that people make. I think that really possibly impacted them as well.
Brian Mavis (15:42.907)
Yeah, that's a real intentional parenting decision to say we want to open our children's eyes to this other, other things in the world.
Travis (15:45.876)
Yeah.
Woody and Mindy Houser (15:49.624)
Yeah, absolutely. And it's brought us together though. There'll be unusual things that's happened. We've had two of our foster kids have deceased and we were invited to the funerals on the wakes, which are where both Native American traditional one was at Pine Ridge and our kids were involved with that. You know, one son was a pallbearer for one of them. Yeah. So we, we in, in.
Travis (16:00.724)
Hmm.
Brian Mavis (16:10.139)
Mm -hmm.
Travis (16:16.052)
Wow.
Brian Mavis (16:17.211)
Wow.
Woody and Mindy Houser (16:19.127)
You know, that doesn't happen in the native culture very much. So we didn't know the first time that we were breaking up, breaking a deal there where we got involved. The executive director said, hey, I've never seen this. How are you guys doing this? So, yeah, that that was our relationship with by with birth families is that's what that's all about. It's important. It's really and we just didn't know what was going on there. It wasn't.
Travis (16:39.092)
Wow, that's incredible.
Brian Mavis (16:39.259)
Wow.
Woody and Mindy Houser (16:49.014)
until well after the fact somebody pointed out how we broke down a barrier and it's kind of fascinating too because one of those tribes I don't remember which one called us to see if we were available to take a child which usually the tribes do not call on foster care so
Brian Mavis (17:08.891)
Mm -hmm.
Mm -hmm.
Travis (17:12.564)
That's so honoring. That's so honoring that they would believe that in you guys. Wow.
Woody and Mindy Houser (17:18.553)
It's been quite a trip. Still going on too. We're still not at the end.
Brian Mavis (17:26.715)
Yeah. So you mentioned biofamilies right there and how, I mean, both the hard and beautiful story of, it, you know, a burial of a child, but breaking a boundary between, natives and, European descent. the, so tell it without, without specifically going to that net thread.
Woody and Mindy Houser (17:47.893)
Mm -hmm.
Brian Mavis (17:55.227)
Tell us a little bit more about what it's been like dealing with the biological families.
Woody and Mindy Houser (18:02.357)
I just, I see it as such an important part of this whole process. And we do say like, we're just, as foster parents, we're just a cog in the whole process. We're not more important than anyone else. We just, our role is to take care of this child while they're with us and get them healthy, get them ready to do whatever the rest of their life is. And I think I just somehow make that very clear to parents when I first meet them that,
I don't want your child. I don't want to keep them. I want to teach you how to take care of your child. I want to make it, you know, do everything I can to make it so that you are able to have your child back home with you. And it's nice because mostly our kids have a lot of doctor's appointments. They have, you know, hospitalizations. They always invite parents if it's safe to be at those appointments at the hospital with me. So that's like a lot of time I have to just.
converse with them, get to know them, tell them about us. And then if I take a kid to the visit, I can't just drop them off and leave because of their medical stuff. I will go into the visit, I will show the parents, this is how you hook up the feeding tube, this is how you work, you know, whatever. And I think that just, that has obviously been really important because I'm still, unfortunately, because of the medical needs, the very...
Travis (19:26.967)
Hmm.
Woody and Mindy Houser (19:30.77)
high level medical needs, a lot of our kids are not able to go back to birth family. A lot of them have been adopted. But I am in touch with, I mean, pretty much all of the adoptive of the birth families. Yeah, I mean, we're our youngest Matthew who's never was never he just lived with us a lot. We were never like his legal guardians because he has a legal guardian who loves him very much. He just he lived with us instead. So.
But his family, I mean, when he graduated from high school, his family all came to his graduation in our hometown. We all went to his graduation party that his great aunt had for him. So it's just, and then even, I mean, yeah, our second foster child, his mom ended up moving to Beersford and we'd run into her and she asked me to watch her baby that she just had. So just these relationships are very enduring and they are based in what I did when I first got that child.
So in these biological parents and guardians like Matthew's great aunt, they all know they just call us. You know, the great aunt has called and said, can you help me on this or that or whatever they might need? And I think that's kind of cool where the whole family's gotten bigger. And just like you call on other family members to help you out periodically, these all do the same thing, including the biological families.
Travis (20:30.963)
Hmm.
Woody and Mindy Houser (20:58.576)
And we've had two situations where we've been able to get together with biological family and adopted family and us. And that's really, that's really cool. I mean, sometimes, you know, the we I'm in touch with the biological family. I'm in touch with the adopted family. We haven't always all three come together, but two cases we have. Sometimes I just get pictures I sent. You know, I say, is it OK if I send this to birth mom?
Brian Mavis (21:07.899)
Mm.
Woody and Mindy Houser (21:26.8)
sure, that's fine. And so I in the middle of that, but sometimes, you know, we just get the two sides together and they're, and that's so it's best for the kids, you know, no doubt that it's best for the kids if they all know. And I also, I also go into it knowing that birth parents are not bad people. I don't care what they've done, what they have going on. They're not bad people. They love their kids very much. And I just leave that going in that.
Travis (21:34.007)
Wow.
Brian Mavis (21:39.515)
Yes, I love that.
Travis (21:40.663)
What was that?
Woody and Mindy Houser (21:55.887)
given the right resources, they would be able to do this. And there just always, there aren't always those resources out there. And so it doesn't always happen, but I'm gonna do everything I can to give them the tools that I have. I mean, everything I've learned, I can show them. I can tell them my tips and tricks for, you know, things happen, this is what you do. And it just still, that is what established these long -term relationships. And I see it as...
just really important for the child. So.
Travis (22:30.359)
Yeah, I was gonna ask, I mean, what was that, even one of those moments of the sort of all of everyone together, just describe that scene a little bit of like even one of those where everyone kind of met each other and...
Woody and Mindy Houser (22:40.334)
Well, yeah, luckily it's gone well. It could not because I know I worry, like the more recent one that we had, I worried that birth mom would just want to go up and hug the kid and overwhelm them. And that would have been very confusing for the child because they are really bonded to their adoptive parents. And I knew that would be hard, but it just went well.
Everybody just, I mean, we just talked. I think the most recent one, we went out for breakfast and we just all sat. Grandma had come and then another half sibling of the child. And we just all, and of course I had told, I had permission to tell both sides about each other. So we weren't like cold coming in, but yeah, just to actually meet and see by the end of the time we went to the park, there's hugs all around, you know? And now we're all hooked up.
that family just through a Facebook message group. So if they share pictures, then they're sharing it with mom and she shares it with her other daughter and her mom. So that's just the really neat thing.
Brian Mavis (23:53.755)
Yeah, you guys have a role that some foster parents going into it maybe don't appreciate what like this kind of bridge, bridge maker, peacemaker role and where you can say to both sides, I want you to see the other person humanly, you know, that and and so.
Woody and Mindy Houser (24:06.315)
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.
Woody and Mindy Houser (24:14.475)
Mm -hmm.
Right.
Brian Mavis (24:21.787)
not judge them by their worst moment. And so I love that. So I wonder, you guys, I mean, first of all, I think you ought to be mentors to other foster parents.
Woody and Mindy Houser (24:24.043)
Yeah. Yep.
Woody and Mindy Houser (24:40.267)
want to be. I've talked to our licensing worker about it. I'm like every new foster parents needs a... Yeah. I think I have plenty of business in South Dakota if we... I just think part of the classes should be you have a list of experienced foster parents who are willing to... Guide you. Yeah. That's I think one of the most...
Brian Mavis (24:45.307)
Give me your phone number. I am...
Travis (24:47.308)
Alright.
Brian Mavis (24:53.307)
and
Brian Mavis (25:02.523)
Yes.
Travis (25:03.448)
It's so simple, that's such a simple, I mean, there you go.
Woody and Mindy Houser (25:07.467)
Right, so I have talked to our licensing worker and said, I certainly would be on that list. But when you're taking the classes, you just leave that class with somebody's phone number and you call them. You make contact before you're even done with the classes. Because I've heard from people that have quit fostering, and I'm just like, ugh, I could have helped you through that. I have a lot of contacts. I could have, you got to talk to a supervisor or.
Brian Mavis (25:30.299)
Right?
Woody and Mindy Houser (25:35.914)
Somebody just didn't know the paperwork and they didn't get reimbursed for like three months and nobody noticed, they didn't know and they were just like, the communication is so bad. I'm like, I could have helped you with that. Just, we need to have connections here. And that, I think, would be a way to keep them, keep foster parents.
Brian Mavis (25:50.331)
for sure.
Brian Mavis (25:54.907)
Well, I think part of the part of being not just experienced, but good, because I think there's experienced foster parents who aren't great. I wouldn't recommend them being mentors. And there's others who like you that I love what you're sharing. And but some of the stuff you guys are sharing as far as, you know, really prioritizing the child, which might mean that you're really caring about their biological family and doing some things that are kind of emotionally hard or can be.
Woody and Mindy Houser (26:01.354)
Yeah. Yep.
Woody and Mindy Houser (26:14.602)
Okay.
Yeah.
Woody and Mindy Houser (26:23.882)
Yeah. Yep.
Brian Mavis (26:25.211)
So what would be your message to people who think, do I have what it takes? Like, what does it take to do it well?
Woody and Mindy Houser (26:33.002)
Hmm.
Woody and Mindy Houser (26:36.68)
I personally think you just have to go in to foster care, number one, not wanting to adopt that child at least. Because I just have never understood, you know, if you're going in and you take a child and you really want to keep them, how can you work with the birth family? So I don't know, to me, and maybe that's unreasonable, but that to me is, I just don't see how that can work, how you can be sincere with a birth parent helping them.
Travis (26:46.648)
Mm -hmm.
Woody and Mindy Houser (27:06.536)
you know, reunify if you actually want to keep their kid. So yeah, and it and I'm sure that there's such a shortage of foster parents that it probably does. Anyway, that's that's just, I think, the bottom line. But we we go into it and people, you know, the always that I couldn't do that, I would get too attached. And Woody and I just say, I mean, from we take kids knowing that we're not going to keep them. And I guess even if you wanted to adopt, that would be the thing you'd.
Travis (27:10.744)
It's a mixed motivation. That's a wrong mixed. Yeah.
Woody and Mindy Houser (27:35.719)
is maybe how to start is I know I'm not gonna get to keep this child. I'm gonna do everything I can for that child and their birth family and resources and everything while they're with us. And then we will get them ready to move on to whatever else that is. But I think just communicating that. And I think, you know, if you think of anybody that thinks of themselves, if they have a capacity to love other people, if they have family.
that they could, you know, that they would reach out to in an emergency or anything. That's what you need. That's really what you need is that heart and that capacity to love and that capacity to attach to people and bring that into foster care. And that's what's best for kids is that whole process of just adding to your family, you know. Not one of our kids that was adopted.
people talk about attachment, you know, well, you'd be too attached to that child. It's interesting that when we've moved these kids on, we don't see the attachment back to us by those kids. In other words, they don't latch onto us and just cry as soon as they leave. That hasn't happened at all. Well, I think they bond, you know, I mean, I think God's in the middle of all of this. And so God, you know, we do things very...
Travis (28:56.057)
Yeah.
Woody and Mindy Houser (29:00.997)
purposely were allowed to, thank goodness, in South Dakota with our kids to transition gradually. So we do have quite a few visits. We get the kids, we go to their house, they come to our house, we see their whole family. We do a lot of stuff. So when they do leave, they're comfortable with these people. But yeah, we have definitely seen that when we see them, they love me and they love Woody and they'll come right up to us, but mom's mom and dad's dad and...
Travis (29:28.985)
Right.
Woody and Mindy Houser (29:30.084)
We're all clear on that. So that's, it's, it's all God's plan. The whole thing is all just following where, where God leads you down. And maybe in some cases in some families, you go into it knowing that you're just a cog in the middle and maybe God's plan does lead you to adopt a child. It doesn't mean that that option isn't there, but we just gotta let it fall where it's going to go. Yeah.
Travis (29:33.081)
Hmm.
Brian Mavis (29:59.163)
Yeah, I think what has been helpful kind of truism is instead of thinking no matter what this child must be reunified or no matter what this child must be adopted, it's no matter what, this child needs to be prioritized. Whatever's best for the child.
Woody and Mindy Houser (30:01.732)
NNNN
Woody and Mindy Houser (30:09.86)
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.
Travis (30:15.705)
Hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Hmm.
Woody and Mindy Houser (30:16.836)
Right. And keep them safe and healthy and everybody work together to see what happens. But yeah, I just think keeping an open mind is a huge part of it. You know, the old adage, it takes a village to raise a child is really true. It takes all of us in this world to help raise a child. And that is one thing I think that you do have to be able to do in foster care is just be open to new people, new experiences.
Travis (30:34.489)
Hmm.
Yeah. Yeah.
Woody and Mindy Houser (30:46.019)
You know, ideas, right? Yeah, I think that's important.
Travis (30:51.258)
Well, and like just even hearing your story, I mean, it's like your village has sort of been built as it's going. I mean, it's a beautiful picture of like, you didn't set out to just craft this village. It's like you set out to say, we don't have this all figured out, but we're going to enter in sort of courageously, learn what we don't know. And then it's, it's as if your village and support just starts to form.
Woody and Mindy Houser (30:57.826)
Absolutely.
Woody and Mindy Houser (31:01.794)
Yeah.
Woody and Mindy Houser (31:10.53)
Yeah. That's exactly. We tell our parents now when they adopt their parents, okay, one thing you have to realize when you adopt a child that we've taken care of, this is the family you get. So we point out how many are in our family, including all these other. Sometimes it freaks people out. When I do it, I do a pretty nice scrapbook for kids, which.
Brian Mavis (31:29.595)
Right, right.
Woody and Mindy Houser (31:38.913)
lot of time and stuff, but I do it. And so at the beginning of it, I have a cast of characters because, you know, like this is Woody's cousin's daughter. I mean, that person was a part of your child's life, you know, and when you adopt them at age three, you don't know what their first years were like. And I can provide a picture of that. So, and people can do that in lots of different ways with memory books and things like that. But I think that's just really cool. If I adopted my kids when they were two or three years old,
I just, in fact, we have, our kids are from Korea and so we have just a very few pictures and I still look at those like, my gosh, that was them in their foster home. And that, you know, I mean, those are so important to adoptive parents. So I do what I can, but it's like, yeah, when you think of, when we start looking at all the people that were in that child's life, when they were with us, I want, I want everybody, I want them to remember those people and see the pictures.
Brian Mavis (32:35.099)
Yeah, so important to honor a child's true, true history.
Woody and Mindy Houser (32:39.713)
Yeah.
Travis (32:41.753)
Yeah. So you guys, one of the beautiful things, sometimes it's just a scene or a story almost captures kind of a picture of what, you know, kind of your, your whole thing looks like. And so you guys have this beautiful story of a wedding that just kind of. Tell us its own story and showcases your life as foster parents. Tell us about that story.
Woody and Mindy Houser (32:42.273)
Exactly.
Brian Mavis (32:45.211)
Cough cough
Woody and Mindy Houser (33:05.505)
That was our daughter. Yep. Our daughter got married two years ago in October and she decided to have any foster kids that were available, walk down the aisle with her. And so we ended up having eight kids, eight foster kids, two that are passed away. We got had balloons for them and we just had three that are, our youngest son is in Alaska.
in the army and then we have one in Oklahoma, one in Rapid City. They were not able to be there. But that's, yeah, we had eight little kids walking down the one in a wheelchair. And just, it was really special. That was my favorite part of the wedding, other than gaining a wonderful son -in -law. But it was also so cool because people don't even think about the fact that when the kids are with us, so like our little guy now, he said he knows all of our other foster kids because they've been here.
We've been to their house. We go back and forth once they're adopted. We stay in touch. But none of their parents know each other. None of the adoptive parents know the other parents. So it's like, this is a part of your child's life that you don't know. And so for the kids to get to see each other altogether, and then for the adoptive parents to get to talk to each other, like they have this bond through Woody and I and our family that it's just really kind of, you know.
just kind of amazing. And so for me, it was especially wonderful, but I just think it was so cool, you know, seeing all those adoptive parents together that are bonded through their children and us, just getting to know each other, talking to each other, because I do worry about the kids just because once they leave here, you know, they aren't going to be in touch with those other foster kids as much. And like, they probably wonder where did they go? So.
I thought that was really special. We've done that one other time. I think we all met at Chuck E. Cheese once and just had a big get together with all the foster kids that were in this area and all the parents. So that was neat. We did talk about the young lady that's in the wheelchair with shaken baby syndrome. That's Phoenix and Phoenix comes every other Sunday to our house just to give mom a break partially, but also us. And she has seen.
Woody and Mindy Houser (35:24.796)
Almost all of the foster kids we have because she's one of the older ones So she's she's been around for quite a few of them and of course, she loves them all to death It's she kind of smothers them. But anyway, she it loves them all to death and it's It's kind of you know, we realized that the other day I go Phoenix you've been here for just about every foster kid So yeah, but I've been able to take her like, you know different times two different, you know if I had her for the day and
we were gonna go see one of the kids, I could take her with me. So that kind of stuff is neat too, just all those connections.
Brian Mavis (36:02.139)
Well, you guys are incredible. I'm so glad having met you and hopefully get to meet you in person sometime. And there's a lot of gold here. So I mean, whether it's focusing on medically fragile and learning that, you know, you can learn as you go. You know, you have a narrowness, but you go deep in it. Or whether it's learning to be a bridge maker, a peacemaker among.
Woody and Mindy Houser (36:20.731)
Yeah. Yep.
Woody and Mindy Houser (36:29.979)
and
Brian Mavis (36:30.779)
families or if it's, you know, just prioritizing the child and what's best for them, whether it is reunification or if it is being adopted. I think then like the village that you kind of create a village as you go along and some of that village actually becomes a kind of mosaic of a family.
I think a lot of this, though, I mean, if I had to put an umbrella over all of this is, I want to go back to that mentorship, that if, if someone is new to this, I would really encourage you to find an experienced family like Woody and Mindy are, who can help you when you feel confused or frustrated or.
Woody and Mindy Houser (37:19.003)
huh.
Woody and Mindy Houser (37:28.538)
huh.
Brian Mavis (37:29.051)
exasperated and ready to quit. There are other families out there like I can help you with this.
Woody and Mindy Houser (37:35.161)
Yeah, and ask for that. I mean, most people have, you know, the person they took their classes from, or we have what Salta calls our licensing worker. She's the one that calls us with a referral or placing all the kids. And so she's a great resource for me. But, you know, find somebody that in this state or wherever your license or that you can say, I need to talk to another foster parent, somebody that can just walk me through this and
Brian Mavis (37:49.019)
AHHHH
Travis (38:03.034)
Mm -hmm.
Woody and Mindy Houser (38:05.401)
I agree, that's really important. We've learned a lot on the fly and through experience, but I look back and I think, yeah, I can share that with people, but it would have been nice if we'd had somebody to talk to along our way too sometimes. So.
Travis (38:07.514)
Yeah. It's a -
Travis (38:21.787)
Yeah, I always look back to even comparing like marriage, you know, marriage has a staggering attrition rate of people leaving marriages and it's hard and you know, right, foster parents leaving at 50 % a year. But you think about how marriage there's often mentorship when there and there's, you know, I mean, we think of that when we think of marriage, but, but foster care, this is such an area that needs to grow. I mean, it just, it has to, because that culture of success isn't there.
Woody and Mindy Houser (38:32.249)
Right.
Woody and Mindy Houser (38:38.281)
Right.
Woody and Mindy Houser (38:43.961)
Right. And there's so many people that...
Right. So many people think they can't do it. So I hope that we can give the message that anybody can do it. And really all you need to be able to do is love a kid and change your thought process from, I can't get attached, you know, or I shouldn't get attached or I would get too attached to these kids need attachment. That's what they need. They need to be shown love. They need to be taught how to.
relate to a person, to really attach to that person, because then that will allow them to continue to attach to other people down the road. And it's hard. It's hard. I mean, I'm not going to say, and that's why sometimes I think people are saying, like, it must not bother me. Well, it does bother us. You know, we've had our little guy for two and a half years, and it's going to be really hard when he leaves. But it's what's best for him. It's been our goal the whole time. We are so happy.
Brian Mavis (39:26.939)
Yes.
Woody and Mindy Houser (39:46.839)
for him and so happy for his adoptive family. I'm in touch with the birth dad. He knows what's going on. You know, adoptive mom wants to be in touch with him. It's just really cool, but you just, you know, we're the adults. We can handle the pain. We can work our way through this. We've done it over and over again. And we're lucky that we get to keep in touch. I know that's not always the case. You know, I've talked to foster parents who like,
Yeah, I had him for eight months and then they left and I DSS lost track of them. We don't even know, you know, so that I can see that that would be hard. But on the other end, you did everything you could do while you had them. And that's what you need to focus on is that they really flourished under your care. You did everything you could for them. And you can just keep praying for them and their family.
Brian Mavis (40:39.323)
Yeah, beautiful.
Travis (40:41.275)
And the other point with that is foster parents can take breaks. We can grieve with our communities. We can do it. If you're a kid in foster care, you can't take a break. There's a big difference between being on either side. So really, really appreciate you guys. The one thing I wanted to highlight is that we will have a link in the show notes for a webinar from last year that America's Kids Belong put on that was called Caring for Sibling Groups and Other Pressing Needs in Foster Care.
Woody and Mindy Houser (40:45.141)
Yep. Yep.
Right. Right. That's true.
Woody and Mindy Houser (41:06.013)
Okay.
Travis (41:08.187)
that also does, yep, that's gonna talk a little bit more as well about kind of other people that have kind of dealt with some higher levels of needs in foster care and kind of some really cool, inspiring tips around that. And of course our website has some great resources if you're exploring fostering or you're at the place of how can I help foster parents in my community? Great stuff there, so.
Woody and Mindy Houser (41:15.957)
Mm -hmm.
Woody and Mindy Houser (41:27.189)
Yeah.
Brian Mavis (41:33.051)
Halzers, thank you very much for not just this interview, but for stepping up for kids, prioritizing them.
Woody and Mindy Houser (41:42.483)
And we're not angels. We're not angels. Good Lord, we get annoyed when people say that. It's like, we are just real people who want to help kids, you know, and by doing that, we help a lot of families. We, but gosh, we look at what we do for ourselves. I mean, we love kids and we love doing foster care and you know, there's so many good things about it that I just.
Brian Mavis (41:43.099)
helping.
Travis (41:48.156)
Uhhh... Yeah.
Brian Mavis (41:53.979)
That's so good. Yes.
Woody and Mindy Houser (42:11.122)
I don't see a lot of downsides personally. I think people look at it and think, like, it takes so much of your time. How can you, and they're like, well, what else am I going to do? I mean, I love kids. My whole life has been taking care of kids. If we go somewhere, we take them with us, you know, and I can get respite if I need a break, you know, like it's not, it's not that hard. So. Yeah. Well.
Brian Mavis (42:29.499)
Yeah.
Travis (42:33.915)
It's so inspiring. You guys aren't 25. Look at your, you know, you're in this still going.
Brian Mavis (42:38.779)
Yeah, you guys gotta be at least like 29.
Woody and Mindy Houser (42:41.074)
yeah, at least a couple times. Yeah, we make mistakes along the way. Every parent does. We still do it even at our age. We still make these mistakes. Well, Mindy does, I know. But anyway, you know, it's just the way it is. Right. But that's part of parenting. That's part of life. Thanks for what you guys do too. Getting the word out there is really important. Your platform is awesome. Does Brian, I don't know if you know Brian, that our little guy who's leaving, it's
Brian Mavis (42:48.667)
Yeah.
Yeah.
Travis (43:09.979)
Thanks for watching.
Woody and Mindy Houser (43:10.514)
Completely, I give it all to South Dakota Kids Belong and American Kids Belong because he was featured on South Dakota Belongs and our adoptive mom is in Minnesota. She had three people, friends of hers, see that video and send it to her. And she has previously adopted a little boy with the same genetic syndrome. So we didn't say it in the video, but her friends from Minnesota saw this video and three people sent it to her and she's adopting him.
Brian Mavis (43:31.643)
No wonder.
Woody and Mindy Houser (43:40.208)
Yeah, so I know that she's a single mom. She's just a single mom. We don't know how she has all the energy, but she does. She's a licensed foster parent though. I mean, wow. And she has her team. She has her team of individuals that help her out if she needs a break or this or that. Yeah. I mean, she's got really close friends who are the ones that saw and said, Hey, you need to get this child. Check it out. Check it out anyhow. And I, afterwards I'm like,
Brian Mavis (43:40.955)
wow. Yeah, that's that. That seems more.
Woody and Mindy Houser (44:07.375)
That person's gonna be involved in taking care also. Why would they want to create more work? But they did well and when I took when our son and I took him there to spend some time in there in her home We met some of her friends and it's just like pretty cool. It's amazing. It's just amazing how God put these people together, but I Really appreciate you know the video that yes, you know makes a difference does
Brian Mavis (44:32.187)
Thank you. Beautiful. Yeah, yeah, sounds like God was in that one for sure.
Travis (44:36.283)
Thank you.
Woody and Mindy Houser (44:38.127)
Yeah, for sure. Sometimes you guys don't get to see the end results of your stuff, you know, but actually there's something you need to do too is have a video on that or have something out there on YouTube. Sometimes you'll put that you had, you know, had a successful adoption, you know, from it. So I like those. Those are good to see that kids are finding happy endings.
Travis (44:39.067)
Yeah.
Brian Mavis (44:43.547)
No.
Travis (44:43.773)
That's right. Yep, that's right.
Yeah.
Brian Mavis (44:52.251)
Yeah.
Travis (44:54.524)
Yeah.
Brian Mavis (45:01.723)
Yes.
Thanks for sharing that.
Travis (45:05.788)
Yeah, thanks for sharing that. Thanks for being on today.
Woody and Mindy Houser (45:08.111)
Yeah, you bet. Anytime.