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Are you ready to take the steps necessary to thrive? Join us every episode as host Adam Gragg discusses what is holding us back and how to move forward with purpose, along the way developing healthy relationships and navigating life transitions while overcoming fear, stress and anxiety. Adam is a family therapist, mental health professional and life coach helping individuals and organizations find the transformational clarity that unleashes hope. Live the life you want, the legacy you decide.
Ep134
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[00:00:00] Welcome to episode 134 of the Decide Your Legacy podcast. Today's episode is called how to start liking yourself, how to start liking yourself. Very important topic. I'm Adam Gragg. I'm your host. I'm a coach, a family therapist. A mental health professional for over 25 years, [00:01:00] and my passion is to help people find transformational clarity, kind of clarity that helps you behave courageously to leave your legacy, live your legacy and leave it.
Adam Gragg: I talk about stuff I struggle with myself. I don't have it all figured out. I mean, I'm telling you, I've been struggling today. It's been a negative day today. You know, I started off the day poorly and it sort of kind of went that way today. And you know, it comes back to over the weekend. I. took a lot of time for self care.
I did productive things, but I have been working really hard, finishing up the Shatterproof Yourself course. It's required me to work on Saturdays. This Saturday, I decided to take off, not work at all. And then I ended up doing a bunch of fun things for self care. But now today I'm like, golly, what I would have had a more productive day.
Had I not done these things for self care. So I'm kind of just beating myself up. I know it's not true. It's just how I feel. But I've been negative. I've been critical of other people. And I know [00:02:00] that when I'm critical of other people and I'm critical of the situations in my life, that is a reflection generally of me not liking myself.
How I treat other people is a reflection of how I feel about myself. So I've struggled with that today. I'm rising above it. I'm here doing this podcast. I want to talk to you about liking yourself. It's a very common question that I get from clients. How do I like myself?
How do I build self esteem? How do I build self respect? How do I figure out what my value is as a person? And we're going to address that today. I'm going to give you some really cool things to think about that help me when I focus on them, which I don't always do, but that's our focus today. It's a question that I've thought of recently in legacy groups.
It comes up because people request feedback on how to better like themselves. It comes up in one on one clients and I like to meet with families I do group coaching frequently. Pretty much everything I do is almost group coaching, [00:03:00] whether it's another family member or a friend that's involved as well.
So, I want today to share something uncomfortable that I did recently because facing your fears is so important. It may be the most important thing for your mental health, not playing it safe. And what I did is yesterday I had some friends over with their three young kids. I think they're all eight and younger and they hung out.
around the house and I cooked and I did it with my daughter and we had a great time but it was a risk for me I hadn't been entertaining a whole lot with people that I don't know as well although I'm getting to know them well they're they're neat special people to me and everything but it was a risk for me so what is something that You can do that's a risk in your life.
I'll give you a clue. So I want you to start off with an action here. What are some things that you don't like about yourself and your life that you can tend to focus on and get overwhelmed by? Is it that you're single? Is it that your job is stressful?
Is it the economy? Is it your kids? You don't have enough close friends, at [00:04:00] least you believe you don't have enough close friends. So what is it that you don't like about your life? Maybe it's your looks, maybe it's your health, maybe you're overweight, or maybe you haven't been taking good care of your health recently by abusing your health with alcohol and maybe potentially drugs or just Sleeping in all the time, or maybe you're, you know, like the fact that you're anxious or depressed.
So I want you to identify something that you want to work on. And think of that as we go through this content today on how to like ourselves, how to like yourself better. Three years ago, I was in a situation where I didn't like myself very well. I recently saw a picture pop up on my phone, and it was of me at Starbucks taking a selfie, and I didn't look very happy, and I looked at the date of this picture, and it was a trigger because I remember that October 2021 was a rough period of my life.
I was struggling, and I was putting myself in situations where I was compromising my values, I was still [00:05:00] making good choices externally, but I know in my heart, I was not at a good place. I was tempted to go down a path that wouldn't have been healthy for me. And thankfully, it's a miracle that I didn't derail because of great friends, but I remember that it was a real struggle.
My self worth My liking of myself was really not good. And a lot of that compromising was I was around people who, as I look back now, didn't like themselves. And I was putting myself around people that didn't like themselves. And hopefully those people like themselves now. I'm not saying they don't. I'm just saying that I was around and commiserating in many ways.
That wasn't good. I mean, it really brought me down. And it ended up As I've mentioned with a three night hospital stay, because I didn't sleep for five nights, I was dealing with grief. I was dealing with a lot of issues in my life. I was facing past trauma. There was a bunch of things, but I was also putting myself in situations around people who were not validating me and building me up.[00:06:00]
And then I had some friends that I was pushing away that were validating and good friends and challenging me to be better and warning me about some of the relationships I was engaging in and encouraging me to engage with them more often, but I was pushing them away and not doing it. And it ended up me being in a bad spot, but it was used greatly because out of our biggest adversities come the greatest powers, the greatest ways that we can actually help others.
And I look at my life today, and I think because of that very challenging situation three years ago, which I was so discouraged, I was so demoralized, but that very challenging experience that I went through has propelled me forward to continue this podcast, to continue coaching, to coach in a newer, better way, to do group coaching, to engage in a healthier way.
And I'm doing better now. So we're talking about how to build that value in ourselves, how to see ourselves, see our qualities, see the good in ourselves. Self esteem gets a bad rap. It's not a bad thing. Self esteem is self confidence. It's believing the best about ourselves, [00:07:00] believing that we can handle things, having esteem, having that ability, having that view of ourselves that's positive.
The reason it gets a bad rap is because people see it as lying to yourself, looking in the mirror and saying that I'm, I'm good looking. People like me, you know, when some people don't like you and some people don't like anything. Everybody, I mean, that's just the way life is. People are not always going to like you or looking in the mirror and saying, you know, I'm, I have lots of money and you don't, you know, you're broke because that's where it gets a bad rap because it's telling people things that aren't true.
That's not a service to your friends. If you tell your friends that they're good at something that they're not good at trying to build them up. That's not a really healthy thing for a friend to do. It's much better to encourage them to push forward. Don't lie to them. Tell them the truth. Don't be mean.
Don't be cruel about it. But if they're struggling in an area and you can encourage them to push forward, well, you can certainly praise them for the work that they have done, the gains that they have made, but don't create a situation where they've made more progress in their own minds than they [00:08:00] actually have.
To keep pushing forward. One of the guys I work with, Lloyd, he does a really good job of when I ask him for feedback and he knows that I'm looking for some encouragement, but he also wants to challenge me and I look for validation. You know, how did that go? How'd that meeting go
He'll critique me when I speak and do a presentation when I record something and gimme feedback. And I really appreciate the fact. that he tells me the truth. He'll point out some things that were good, but also point out some things that I can work on.
And that's very encouraging. It takes great courage to do that. And it also makes me a better person. And I believe he trusts me enough to help him do the same. And even today, I was thinking about that, that I need to do and have the kind of confidence with everyone on the Decide Your Legacy team that I can share with them real feedback and trust that they can take it.
So as we go through this content, the overall arching theme is live a life that you're proud of. Live a life that you're proud of. How can you do that? So one is you can show up for yourself. [00:09:00] Why do you want to show up for yourself? Because then you're going to feel good about the life that you're living.
You know, the end of the day, when you've shown up for yourself in various forms, then you're able to say, and look back and say, well, I did my best that day, even though these things didn't all go well, even though I messed up this and I messed up that, which I have today. And you're going to learn more about how I messed up today.
I mean, I tell you, this is a podcast that I'm recording for me as much as I am for you, because these things remind me and inspire me to remember the truth about myself and my life as I record them. It's, it's very interesting that way, but it'll inspire me. I guarantee it. And so when I don't feel good about myself, I haven't shown up for myself.
So I was late to work today and I'm the boss. I failed my team when I'm not on time. I haven't been late in a while, although I've been getting really stinking close, like coming in right on time, not what I want to do. And I think I may have even been two minutes late recently at another time.
[00:10:00] So I don't feel great about that. That's not showing up for myself, but I need to let go and forgive and then get there early. In fact, one of my goals is to be at work 15 minutes early from this point forward. And I've changed other bad habits in my life, like not using Zen, as some of you know.
I know I can do it, but the crazy part about it is when I'm late to work, automatically, like clockwork, I start blaming other things. Blaming my dog because he has so many needs at age 15, blaming my breakfast because it was so tasty that I had to stay at home eating it longer than I should have, blaming the TV or, well, probably not blaming the TV, but blaming the traffic, but I only left, you know, three minutes before I was supposed to be at the office today when I'm at least a seven minute drive from my office. So come on, Adam, you know, better than that, but Hey, I can.
Pick myself up, I can own it, I can apologize, and I can move forward. So you want to show up for yourself because showing up for yourself [00:11:00] is a way to avoid self sabotage. That negativity, that criticism of other people, that criticism of ourselves, that procrastination, not showing up, that's a form of self sabotage.
Right when we're near a breakthrough, and I've seen this so many times with clients, I get discouraged by it sometimes, but usually I recognize that they are in a process here and they're close to self sabotage and they can turn it around at any point. I have been fired by many clients over the years. I have had people not sign up for coaching and then come back.
I've had people get extremely discouraged and then become extremely motivated because they realize that they're right on the cusp of a breakthrough and why could they and why would they ever give up right now? Why do they want to do that? They don't want to do that. So you're going to feel good about your own life.
You're going to feel more relaxed as you show up for yourself. You're going to lower the stress in your life as you show up for yourself and you're going to feel good about your relationships because not only are you going to show up for yourself, you're going to show up for other people to show up for yourself means when you make those commitments [00:12:00] to yourself during the day, which we all do.
We make promises. We say to ourselves that we're going to get up at a certain time, or go to bed at a certain time, or read a book, or exercise, or call a friend, or do something at work, or make a certain number of calls at work. We're making lists in our head. We're making commitments in our head, and we can realize that it's so important for us to live a life we're proud of and we feel good about for our own self esteem.
for liking ourselves, that we start taking ourselves very seriously, and we take the commitments that we make, even the ones in our own head, very seriously. We don't make commitments that we're not going to follow through on. So if someone asks us to do something, and we have this mentality that I am worthy, and by me knowing that I'm worthy means I'm going to behave in a way where I show up committed to myself, then we're not going to say yes to things.
So we're not going to people please at the same level, we're going to probably eliminate it because we're going to say. Okay, I'm worth it, and my [00:13:00] own well being is so important that I'm not going to say yes to this situation here. I'm not going to commit to working out after work if I know that my time is going to be better used doing some cooking or reading or relaxing at home. That's what I mean here. We make commitments and we follow through, and then you're going to follow through with your commitments as well, not only to yourself, but to other people as well. So today I was supposed to record this podcast at 4 30 today.
And then I canceled on my podcast engineer, Brian. And because I wasn't ready, you know, and that wasn't fair. I felt bad. And then we ended up recording it later in the evening, but that's not me showing up for other people. I know I'm not perfect. I know I'm going to mess up. But I don't like it.
It makes me not feel great about the life that I'm living. So I'm struggling to get this podcast recorded today, not only because of fitting it in and procrastination but it just because I'm not feeling like I'm living this stuff myself today.
You know, so I'm talking about a topic that I'm not living, but again, I can listen to this content as I speak it, and it can challenge me to be [00:14:00] better as well. So at the Legacy Group, coaching groups that we lead at Decide Your Legacy. At the end of every group coaching session meeting, people make a commitment.
They make a two week commitment because we meet every two weeks. And that commitment, we have them put in writing, we put in writing, we send it out in the community to everybody, and I challenge them to hold each other accountable. Everybody's assigned somebody to reach out to to hold accountable.
Crucial thing, because if they make that commitment and take it seriously, then there's going to be somebody asking them about it. First and foremost, you keep that commitment to yourself, but you're going to keep it when somebody asks you about it, and you're going to keep it when you mostly take yourself seriously, because you're taking that commitment seriously at that point.
Not, not to the point where you are a failure and you're miserable and you're a horrible person if you don't follow through, but you're not going to make these promises, if you really see them as promises, if you're not going to follow through. So again, being late. For me, a challenge not following through for others when I make [00:15:00] a commitment and promise to get them something, to get them resources, to get them information.
I want to make sure that what I say aligns. With the life that I'm living and I don't always do that, unfortunately. I mean, that's where I'm struggling today. So, one way is to start being very careful with the commitments that you make and the commitments that you make, to the best of your ability, put them in writing.
So in fact, I would say, I would suggest it's not a commitment until it's in writing, until it's in your calendar. Until you've put it somewhere on a list, so in your to do list or in your calendar, and then it's a commitment and then you're going to follow through with it. But until it makes it to that written format, then you have some leeway.
That doesn't give you an excuse. If you tell somebody, or if it's a verbal thing, if you say, you know, I'm going to be there and let's go have coffee at 745, well, that's a commitment. That's a verbal commitment. Now, could you change it? Yeah. But give them advance notice. and have a good valid reason for doing so or else don't commit to it unless you're going to take yourself [00:16:00] seriously because you're taking them seriously.
You're valuing them. So that's the first thing. First piece of advice I'd like to give to you on how to like yourself more and you can apply that starting today. Little commitments to yourself. Second piece of advice is to own your life. Take ownership of your life. 100 percent ownership of your, of your emotions, of your thoughts, of your actions, of the people you interact with.
One reason I like being an entrepreneur is because I get to have freedom in the relationships that I surround myself with. So the people that I work with, the people that I interact with as clients, the people that I interact with as customers, the people that I have as vendors, I get to make those decisions.
And it's because I'm responsible for the operations of the business, along with Lloyd, my operations manager as well. But we take ownership of that. It's very serious. You know, I find that people don't take ownership of. Aspects of their life frequently, like their phone, for [00:17:00] example, technology, for example, when somebody owns their phone, then they're taking ownership of how much time they spent on the phone, of who they talk to on the phone, of what they look at on the phone, of how they use the phone as a tool.
If the phone is owning them, then they're, going to be controlled on a whim to do things prompted by the phone, by a notification, by a phone call, by a text, by checking email and responding frequently much more than they actually have to. Not time blocking, but just responding on a whim. That's a problem.
I see people whose dogs own them. They don't actually own their dogs. And I find that dogs that are actually owned by the owners are a lot friendlier than the dogs that own their owners. They control the household. I mean, I've seen this on a number of different occasions. And they're not necessarily mean dogs, but I do find that over time, the dog is a reflection of the culture that they're in,
it reflects the people that are raising that dog. It's pretty fascinating to me. I mean, if you think about [00:18:00] how easy it is to make excuses, not to take ownership, then I think you're going to understand what I'm talking about here. Like there is something. That I've learned in a great book called Leadership and Self Deception.
It's about being inside the box. And one of the illustrations that I think of is that when I do something that is not taking ownership of my life and blaming it on other people, like being late and saying it's because of traffic, then immediately That justification puts me in a box where I'm putting a wall between myself and the world and other people.
I'm being self protective. So another example is that if I feel this prompting to be helpful to somebody in my office and to be encouraging and affirming and show them appreciation and I don't actually do it, And I head home acting as if I'm too busy to engage. Then immediately, once I start heading home, I'm going to feel a sense of self justification by saying that I got to get home and cook dinner.
I need to take my dog out. I need to go work [00:19:00] out. I didn't have time. Everything about me. puts me in a box where there's a wall saying I'm justified in not following through on that prompting to express appreciation to a co worker. Not a good thing. We collude in those situations. So we start to collude with the other person and make the situation worse.
We escalate conflict. Leadership is taking full ownership. of how we didn't in that situation do what we should have done, what we felt prompted to do. Had I had done it, I would have been inspired, I would have encouraged somebody, and then I would have felt this, I wouldn't have felt any justification or need for rationalizing my decisions.
I would have left there thinking, yeah, that was cool. It's really great to give. It's really great to be encouraging to people. It's really awesome to actually have People around me that expressed appreciation for me. Why not give it to other people? And then we stop the collusion process. We see people as being human.
We're outside of the box. A great thing. And it's a reflection of owning your life. This other [00:20:00] illustration that I find to be helpful is that we have two parts of our brain, and I know I've shared this with you before, but we have an emotional side and a rational side, and you can think of the emotional side is that part that's illogical.
It's just driven by fear. Fear, strong emotions, passions, all this stuff. It's strong and big, and it's just like an elephant. It's going to do what it's going to do regardless. It's going to function based on how it feels. It doesn't really matter whether somebody is telling it to go this way or that way or to do this or not do this.
It's going to do what it wants to do. It's going to be afraid of a mouse, just as it's going to be afraid of a lion. It's going to do what it wants to do. Now on that elephant is a rider, which represents our logical side, our rational side. This is a model from a psychologist called Jonathan Haidt.
So, and it's the elephant and the rider and the path basically. And so if you think of, you know, How powerful that elephant is. And then the small little rider sitting on top of the elephant. Well, that is, and it can [00:21:00] motivate you to think, well, if I'm going to change my behavior to take ownership of my life, well, I need to motivate that elephant.
Whatever it takes. And the path is environmental factors. So you do things like a cage for the elephant, or you have structures to your life. You have an environment, a culture for your job. You have a to do list, you have structures like a calendar, you have people around you to keep you on track.
Those are more. All rational, logical structures, that's the path and the rider. But that elephant, let's figure out a way to motivate the elephant. If somebody had really poor health, health habits, so they overeat sugar and they want to stop and they're pre diabetic. Well, going to the doctor, the doctor may get mad at them and say, you got to stop or you're going to be on insulin.
And they go home and they start eating sugar again and again. And they come back, go back to the doctor. The doctor says, you know, now you're going to have to be on insulin. But the doctor also starts to Change his approach with that [00:22:00] person and says, well, you know, why do you want to be around in 10 years?
And the individual says, well, I mean, I have, I have this career that I like, and I have these kids that love me and I have all these goals and dreams that are really, I'm passionate about. And so that person starts to have this vision for their future where they see these good things happening. And then they come back two months later and they've changed all their eating habits.
They're working out. They're Drinking water and they're sleeping more. They're not eating sugary foods and fatty foods. And then the doctor does some blood work and they're no longer pre diabetic. They're healthy. They don't need insulin. They don't need anything. They're just doing great. They've lost 25 pounds.
It's like, wow. And so it all started because that bigger vision. So the challenge for you is to realize that as you own your life, it's going to grow. Create some empowerment for you that I can make decisions on my own and not be controlled by that elephants. I can make decisions that are the best ones for me in the future.
And I have the power to do so, to stay away from those harmful relationships and [00:23:00] harmful people. And I'm not saying you're gonna ever be away from all relationships are all harmful relationships, but you can see them as ministry with boundaries rather than your close, intimate connections, which is so empowering for me because it's taking a hundred percent responsibility for my relationships.
A hundred percent responsibility for my past. is freeing. Not that those things were my faults, not that those things were things I deserved, but my interactions with people now and how I view the past and how it impacts my life today is my responsibility. 100 percent my responsibility. Helps me to start doing hard things, stop making excuses.
So the challenge is to dream big. Where do you want to be in 10 years with your life? Write it down and start getting excited about it. List seven things that you believe are opportunities over the next 10 years. Share them with somebody. That'll start to shift your mindset. So this content here comes out of and is inspired by a course that you can engage in a light version of called [00:24:00] Shatterproof Yourself.
Seven small steps to a giant leap in your mental health. You will get tools on how to take ownership for your life, On how to build self worth, on how to shift your mindset, on how to take ownership of your emotions and your perspective, on how to take ownership of your self care and your relationships from this course.
So you want to sign up so you can get access to a workbook and a video where I give you a light version of these seven steps. So you can download it on the Decide Your Legacy app for Android and for iOS and go through it. There's an awesome bonus lesson as well called daily actions.
And these are the things that I like to do every day to start my day and end my day that keep me on track. The third way to like yourself and build this self esteem is to be yourself. So the other day there was a football game at my daughter's high school, Maize South Mavericks. So she did something that was pretty exciting. She painted herself blue [00:25:00] and she had a blue wig on. She was just all out, 100 percent like craziness. I mean, like she didn't have a part of her face that had no blue. I mean, it was like, Really over the top.
And I love when people do crazy over the top stuff because it's a reflection of their true colors in many cases. That's one reason I like Halloween because people can let their guard down and dress up, especially adults. I see their true colors come out around Halloween.
People's unique traits and abilities and desires come out when they are themselves. They're letting their guard down. When you like yourself, you're willing to be rejected. When you like yourself, you're willing to say no. You're willing to let people get mad at you because they're irritated with you.
When you like yourself, you're willing to ask questions to get to know people. When I like myself, I'm much more curious. And I like myself at different times during the day. And I don't like myself at different times during the day. I don't always like myself. [00:26:00] Today was one of those days where I didn't like myself more than I like myself.
I'm liking myself more right now as I record this podcast, because I'm being honest about not liking myself. Okay. Well, I'm serious, which is what happens sometimes when I start just being myself, letting go, and just sharing with you that this is me and that this is me. Is the reality. And so today I, being myself, it was interesting, but I work in an office area where there's a number of different businesses and kind of a side note story here, but I don't like myself for this, but I'm going to like myself for sharing with you is there have been people coming in because we have a few open offices in the area and I've wanted to rent these empty office spaces.
Because I want Decide Your Legacy to grow faster. And it is growing and we've had the best year we've ever had. It's really exciting and everything, but I want it to grow faster. I'm impatient. So I don't want these offices to be leased by other businesses. Cause I want to lease them yet. It's not the best decision for me to lease them.
So in my mind, [00:27:00] I'm thinking like and I love meeting new people. People that know me is when I work around people, I get to know them. It's fun. I have a loyalty to the people that work in the same office space scenario as me, and I get to know them. It's really cool. So I'm getting to know people.
I'm friendly. I'm, you know, people that are looking at the office space and everything, but then in my mind, I'm thinking, Oh, I hope they don't lease this space because then it'll be open in a month or two. And maybe our revenue will be at the point where we can actually lease this space, you know, but then I go back to my office and I think, why am I thinking that stuff, man?
I mean, that's not me. My desire is to help these businesses, helping businesses and people find the. Grant transformational clarity to live courageously and leave their legacy is my passion. So I'm living in disalignment with my own. With the purpose of Decide Your Legacy. That's not cool. I mean, I'm struggling with it there.
So that's not me, but that's not being myself. And then as I realized that, then I can let go of that and I can shake it off and I can get to know all these new people that are in the same office space. There really is [00:28:00] just one person that I know in the same office space. He's a really cool guy and attorney, and I'm getting to know him.
So I like Halloween and here's some other reasons that you want to figure out and to be yourself. And by doing that, you answer questions about yourself, journaling, just knowing how you feel about things, knowing what your passions and interests are, figuring out your personality, the disc or the MBTI.
Understanding how life experiences have shaped you and impact the way you interact with other people, which is another thing that we cover in Shatterproof Yourself Light is step two is to face your past, which is extraordinarily helpful as well and impacts your self worth and self concept as well. A very important place because you have to recognize that, yeah, the way View myself today is impacted by how other people treated me.
If I had a parent who was often calling me fat and lazy and ugly and, you know, a piece of junk, I mean, in treating me as if somebody like [00:29:00] stupid, I've heard people have parents that call them stupid, they call them worthless, and they may have done that while they were drunk, or they may have done that just even when they were sober, but that will stick,
I mean, it's a big deal. And if you don't. Identify that and see that that does impact how I'm viewing myself today, that it's going to be hard to replace it with the truth. And that's what you want to do is when you really recognize who you are, what it's going to do is it's going to crowd out the negativity.
It's going to crowd out the criticism towards yourself. It's going to help you to see the positive qualities in other people. It's going to help you to shake off the people pleasing. It's going to help you to shake off insecure feelings and do what's hard and scary because you know, on the other side, you're building confidence.
Through that process. So to do this, be crazy this Halloween. I would encourage you to do something crazy, like dress up at work. That's something that reflects your personality. Even if you don't want to do a prank this Halloween, that's my challenge for you. In fact, I'd encourage you to make sure you do that.
So the three things. To start liking yourself, one, show up for yourself and do it consistently. Two [00:30:00] is to own, take a hundred percent ownership for your life. And number three is to be yourself more of yourself today. Just be more yourself, like a little bit more. It's not completely taken off the self protective suit that you've worn for a long period of time.
That's not what I mean. Just a little bit more so people can see the real you and be willing for some people to be uncomfortable with that. That's okay. So what are you going to apply from today?
Something that you've learned, and then if you really want to stick, not only apply it to your life, but teach it to somebody else. 20 percent of change is clarity. Insight. I get some insight. You got insight. Hopefully from today, this podcast today, 80 percent plus is action. An okay plan that you act on is a hundred times better than a great plan that you do nothing with.
Remember to sign up for Shatterproof Yourself Lite, seven small steps to a giant leap in your mental health. Great content for you to go through that will highlight this [00:31:00] content and give you some inspiring actions to make this stuff sink deeper. So you can like yourself more. I want you to like yourself.
I'm liking myself more. Now that when I started this podcast recording this today, I'm going to sign off the way that I always do. Make it your mission to live the life now that you want to be remembered for 10 years after you're gone. You decide your legacy, nobody else. I appreciate you greatly and I'll see you next time.