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Oren comes home to Fistreach. The festival is louder than usual because the magic is fading, the lizardfolk raids are closing in, and scouts keep coming back as masks. His mother Astrid has been missing for weeks. His father's one request: don't tell him yet.
Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com
System: Pathfinder Second Edition
Creators and Guests
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Host
Guest
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What is Rotgrind - Narrative Declaration?
Five adventurers try to survive in this comedy filled Pathfinder Second Edition TTRPG campaign within the grim dark world of Tyne. Follow the show, get custom TTRPG content, and more at https://narrativedeclaration.com
Where specifically are we going?
I'm going home!
Kind of give me homeless vibes, Oren.
Whoa, okay, so what you want to do is you want to land, like, over there.
I'm enjoying the fact that we're talking to Otto from The Simpsons.
Even better, the first of many Ottos.
Oh my god.
We're going to Woodstock?
Oren, my boy, give daddy a hug!
All right, who wants to play some Rotgrind?
Yeah!
It's a secret!
Hi everybody, I've been doing another exciting episode of Rotgrind.
It's so good to be back.
So you know, we have been away for about two months, so if we forget how to play, it's your fault.
Well, actually, why didn't you remind me?
True that.
You should have been reading the Pathfinder 2nd Edition Core book.
I always say Core rulebook, but now there's Player Core and GM Core and all various other books.
You should have been reading that to me at night.
Yeah, that's true.
You should be reading all sorts of things to me.
But, of course, one thing I want to kind of give an update for everybody on.
You're going to notice some new things to the layout.
Things that are going to be different if you're listening here on podcasts.
Just good luck.
Also, hope you're having a good day.
I don't know if you're exercising, washing dishes, working at somewhere, driving a car.
You know, have a good one.
Have a good listen.
My bad.
It's kind of stuck.
So, with the nameplates that you see here, normally you would see us just have, like, the same kind of graphics and stuff.
But now, if they update their character sheets at all, their health bar will adjust.
It'll even do a little animation when they get hurt, bring in the health bar, stuff like that.
If they change their hero points, that'll be the little stamp icon on there.
It'll dynamically change as well.
If they take any debuffs, it'll be a little icon that'll show up on there as well.
If I'm like, I'm on fire three, it'll show a little icon, the debuff of the three numbered by it.
So, just at a glance, you can be like, oh, I wonder who screwed today.
You know, and you can kind of see all that's going on.
But, in addition to that, one thing you possibly have noticed, if I scroll in here a little bit, every single time I talk, the tokens talk now.
Yeah.
Yay.
Yeah, so that will know.
So, we could kind of roleplay now a little bit more on the battle maps, and they're a little bit more dynamic now.
So, it's kind of neat a mosquito.
Is the battle map shape when I talk?
No.
No.
Like God is speaking.
Unless it's a minute.
I could get, like, a top light that flashes everywhere.
It's God.
Jeez, that'd be so obnoxious.
Don't know.
No, don't do it.
Don't do it.
Don't do it.
In addition, obviously, the pity point system is still the same.
Anything that you do to donate either on YouTube or Twitch, because we multi-stream on both platforms, it just adds to the pity point system.
So, that is also going to be a lot easier for us now.
Because, hey, everyone, roll five D20s right now.
Like, just keep rolling D20s until one of you get a one.
Like, do it individually, not as a group.
Like, roll one, then roll another one.
See who gets a one first.
Like, roll, roll.
It's a contest, everybody.
Yeah.
See who gets one first.
You know, take up show time.
Roll one.
Oh, someone will.
Someone will at this point.
Eventually.
If it's not me, I don't know who it would be.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Someone got a 20 there.
Wait, wait, wait.
Someone did.
Someone did.
Someone got it.
Someone got it.
All right.
Don't click the button.
Don't click the button.
But that's just a showcase.
You see the red complication button there.
Now, what that means for everybody who helped out on Patreons.
Let's go for that button again.
For anybody who submitted stuff, the Patreon for the complications and stuff, we've now
integrated it more into Foundry.
So, all we get to do is click that button.
Don't click it.
Don't click it.
Just leave it as is.
And then they can see the window that has your guys' complications that they pre-selected
for them.
And then when they click it, it shows up in chat.
So, you guys might see that later on today if we roll a one, you know, in actual stuff
today.
So, that's some of the stuff I wanted to update you all.
I'm like, oh, here's the new stuff we have on the overlay.
And on audio, we're fixing some stuff there.
So, don't worry.
But that's thanks to everyone on Patreon.
And stuff for helping us out there, helping to support us so we can get some time to do
this.
And I have tipped my buddy who helped me with some of the stuff getting to set up.
So, you all can thank Stanley.
So, Eve.
Thank you, Stanley.
Thank you, Stanley.
We love him.
We love you, Stanley.
Love you, Stanley.
We love you, Stanley.
And so, with that, Mr. Thurston.
Hello.
What adventure do you have for us today?
Well, you know, some stuff happened last time.
Do we remember where we left off?
I remember.
Okay, Vina.
Okay, Vina.
Where did we leave off?
We left off on the epic battle with Captain Sharkskin.
He had set up.
We had gone chasing after him into the eye of the storm.
Chasing after the magic hat that he was going to use to die.
And he staged a grand battle between us and the fearsome Puppet crew.
And we fought.
He was kicking Vina's absolute ass for a little bit.
The rest of the party was doing fine, though, as they tend to.
And then we ended the battle by realizing that this was all sort of a child's game, a child's dream of what it means to be a pirate.
And Vina came to the realization she, too, was sort of living this childish dream and that it was time for her to grow up.
So she dropped her sword, stopped the fight, and Captain Sharkskin was no more.
And we all hugged it out together.
And we all hugged it.
Who's driving the ship?
And then we crashed and died.
And we're all dead now, actually.
Good game.
Good game, everybody.
Welcome back.
We're done.
Here, I'll give you...
Yeah, I'll give you this excellent background of the sky.
That's the last sight all of the players see before they fucking explode as they crash into.
I have to say, it's much better that we're doing that than anything else.
True.
Agreed.
Agreed.
Agreed.
Actually, no.
You managed to survive because the loyal crunch was clearly at the helm.
Loyal crunch holding on to things and really keeping the ship steady as the pirate crew of poppets is defeated.
We're actually going to catch right back where we were with this.
Veena, you have claimed the hat as all of the other poppets have sort of, like, fallen, I believe, straight down to the ground.
Their animate force departing them, leaving you surrounded by several childlike toys on the deck of a battlefield where your allies are battered and bruised, but alive.
Yeah, I'll turn around, hold up the hat.
I think we're done here.
Are we now?
No.
Yep.
I think I understand what my sacrifice was.
So, this should be exactly what we need.
Was it?
I hope so.
I hope so.
Well, I'm glad you hope so, but I asked what was it.
Oh.
It's the hat.
And I'll gesture to where the storm was.
This is, um...
This is what we came here to get.
This is the power we needed to reawaken Papa Storm.
Orn's kind of, like, looking around at the hat.
Kind of like a, you know, like an owl.
I don't know.
It looks normal.
I don't know why this is so special.
I don't know.
Maybe Sharkskin ended up getting a little too close to all of this and bore the brunt of it.
Or maybe it's just a somewhat unhappy coincidence.
Well, regardless, we got the hat.
Finish things up.
That means they're not going to kill you, Miss Vina.
Yeah.
At least, maybe.
That's the problem.
I...
I don't really know.
And more than that, I'm not really even sure how much I want to go back.
Not even to kill your mother.
I mean, uh, that's why you didn't want to kill her.
Uh, disprove your mother.
Mr. Tannhauser, we're supposed to have the inside voices in.
Remember what we've learned?
Her mother is terrible.
She's pretty awful.
Oh, okay.
I mean...
Listen, I looked up to her for a long time, and she was incredible.
Well, you had to.
You were little then.
That's true, Oren.
Just like you look up to everyone.
And I ruffle his hair.
Hello?
Oh, there's Crunch.
He hasn't crashed yet.
That's...
That's pretty impressive.
Ah, neat.
My hands are in these gauntlets, and they're very cold.
I don't think that's Crunch.
But...
Would you be wearing gloves with your gauntlets,
or are you just wearing metal on bare skin?
I...
The ship is getting closer.
Crunch, eyes on the road.
Crunch, eyes on the road.
Crunch, eyes on the road.
Watch out, Crunch!
Watch out, Crunch!
Maybe if I...
I need to take it off and check...
Give me a moment.
It just starts veering.
Hold on to it.
The ship starts like...
What are you doing?
Have you ever tried that?
I don't know before?
I'm trying to see if...
I'm trying to see if I can take my gauntlet off to see if I'm wearing a glove.
I have no feelings, so it's hard to tell.
How don't you remember if you were wearing leather gloves under metal gauntlets?
Do you not remember if you put on, like, underwear in the morning?
You're all on the back of a whale.
How am I supposed to keep in mind anything?
That is a...
Actually, he can't...
Oren looks at Veena.
What are we going to do about the whale?
Like, is like...
Is it...
Was the whale part of the child's wish?
And he looks over to potentially see the whale going,
Oren was wishing to exist.
Okay, I just assume...
I assume, like, the camera angle is, like, you're on top of Nier's head,
and, like, one eye is just kind of, like, angling back,
like, with this, like, sad-looked words.
You look...
Like a sad dog?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Do you have any kind of, like, speak with animals ability?
Oren?
Yeah, those spells always seem fucking stupid
until you need to talk to the goddamn Skywhale.
Well, the problem with you, the Summoner,
you're balling on a bunch of the spell slots, man.
You ain't really getting shit, dude, if you're a Summoner.
You know how it is.
You get shit to get shit, all right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know, when we fucking started here,
you know, you were a druid.
I bet a druid could talk to the Skywhale.
Yeah, yeah, I'm fucking bad, too, man.
You know, I'm working on it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right, so all you have to see
is the sad eye of the whale looking back up at you.
Can I roll a nature check of handle animal
or do something to best interpret him
because, you know, body language.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'll let you.
Give me a nature check to interpret the sad Skywhale.
Absolutely.
Oh, natural 20.
So he did remember how to talk with animals.
This Skywhale fucking loved those puppets.
They were, they were, like, the most raucous,
like, treated him well crew,
never had to worry about food or anything.
Oh.
I want to make a narrative declaration.
All right.
Yeah.
Oh, no.
The whale was part of the whale sitting begins to disappear,
meaning we need to get off this ship.
Holy shit.
Holy shit.
We don't have to worry about this.
Wow.
All right.
All right.
All right.
Spend your hero point.
Spend your hero point.
I was hoping he was going to say.
Spend it.
All right.
All right.
He looks up and then, like, yeah, yeah.
It's the very realization that their wish included
giving the whale a peaceful, like,
they love the whale so much that, like,
even in the end of their existence,
they wanted the whale to share with them that end of existence.
And so, yeah, you can see that the whale begins to dissipate slightly.
Like, you feel like sections of it begin to fade away under you.
Well, you got to move.
Okay.
All right.
All right.
I think I found a way to hold it with my foot.
Okay.
All right.
Don't have time.
Is the other ship above us at this point?
We got to go.
It's like, it's like to the side.
It's to the side, you know?
All right.
Let's go.
I shoot my grappling hook.
Later.
Later, nerds.
I hope I see you guys there.
Give me an attack roll, please.
Give me an attack roll.
Give me an attack roll.
Okay.
Yeah, be awesome if I'm...
Aldrick is going to wait for an opportunity to jump closer.
It's a fucking bird flies away.
I didn't know you were going to stop at the word until it gets closer.
I sure hope there wasn't any loot on this ship that we could have taken.
Yeah, exactly.
None.
Oh, see, you confirmed it.
It's fine.
It's fine.
We're good.
We're good.
Yeah, it's good.
Pirate ships famously lack treasure.
Of course.
Orin will...
Their imaginary puppet treasure.
They will...
Okay.
Every pirate also wants their treasure to come with them into death, so...
True.
That is true.
That is true.
Yeah, yeah.
If re-watching the original Dragon Ball has taught me anything, having just gone through
the pirate, it's that.
And they leave a cool skeleton...
It gives you superpowers.
Yeah.
Also, there's a skeleton...
A skeleton robot that's a Chrono Trigger boss.
You know, that's...
Um...
All right.
All right.
So you manage to return to your ship.
Crunch.
Could someone take the breath of a wheel and...
Be appreciated.
I got the wheel.
All right.
He's going to very quickly take the wheel as he's trying to drive with his knees.
The dad handles.
Yeah, literally.
Oh.
I wasn't.
No?
Not even a little?
No, no, no.
I wasn't wearing leather.
That was the problem.
Oh, yeah.
That'll do it.
Let me see your hands, Mr. Crunch.
Oh, no.
He needs lotion really bad.
Dude, I'm...
His hands have to be cut up.
He's turned...
He's turned away from you and has done this privately.
But...
But Crunch, if you've been having bare metal on your skin this entire time, you're like...
It must have been really hurting.
Think nothing of it.
I am thinking of it.
I...
I...
I appreciate it.
But where are we going now?
What adventures await us now?
Ignore him.
We need to get back to the city.
Yeah.
Might as well.
Pointed his eyes, pointed his visor.
I'm watching you.
Baldrick is going to strike Oren with the empty, empty, empty, empty bucket.
Ow!
What are you doing that for?
Stop antagonizing him.
I want to know why his hands are that way.
Because he's Crunch of Legibet.
Let's move on.
Everybody in Legibet needs lotion.
This guy has done all kinds of questionable things, and you're choosing now to have a problem
with how he does things.
Why are you defending the guy in the middle hall in your wall?
Because...
No.
Okay.
Oren.
Tannhauser just...
Just low-beat, giving Noren a thumbs up.
Great job, buddy.
Oren.
First off, that was Tannhauser.
Second off, you helped him.
Third off, you helped him.
Fourth off, you helped him.
You always did Tannhauser.
That was crying.
Don't think you can pull the wool over my eyes like this.
I am very aware of who is responsible for damaging my hull.
I was following instructions.
No, no, no, no.
None of that following orders business.
Yeah, you can't take the Geneva Convention argument here.
Geneva Convention doesn't exist, Oren.
Now, listen to me.
I'm yelling at you first.
I'm yelling at you first.
So, hold on.
Oh, good.
I'm safe for now.
He has done all kinds of weird things on your dime.
You can't just turn on him like that.
That's unfair.
That'd be like if you turned on Rahua because it was funny.
Oren raises the hand.
Which you have done.
It would be pretty funny.
Did it mean to...
Yes, Oren.
Wait, a dime.
What's a dime?
They exist.
What's a dime?
Rahua turns a Tannhauser.
It's a coin.
Are you supposed to be paying him?
I'll roll a society to understand what a dime is.
Thurston, I'd like to narratively declare that a dime is one of the most valuable coins in Outset.
Okay, mark yourself down the hero point.
28.
Okay, perfect.
28, you said?
Yes.
Yeah, one sec here.
Okay.
Thurston, I think I can handle this.
Tannhauser, Tannhauser, Tannhauser, Tannhauser.
Yes.
A dime is one of the most valuable coins in Outset.
You know, Bul...
No, Bulgerk.
Erndil, you're a Tynewriter expert.
You may expound on the background with that 28.
Please go ahead.
Yeah, so a dime is something that was created.
It usually has the visage of Uncle Blaze on it.
And it is one of the smallest coins, but it has a fairly high value in terms of just being a coin.
It's made of nickel, and it's very valuable.
It's worth almost as much as a gold piece.
It's also very small, and turning on a dime is considered to be an extremely precarious feat because it's so small.
So if you had to turn a card on a dime, you are very skilled with that card.
There, does that explain that for you?
Tannhauser nods his head in understanding.
I'm going to spend a hero point and say that the most valuable coin in Outset is called the Dime 2.
And the Dime 2 is so important and notable.
Actually, no one ever talks about the dime.
They just talk about the Dime 2.
Uh, Tannhauser, mark yourself down a hero point.
Thank you, yay.
Hey, can one of you spend a hero point to make a cryptocurrency in time?
I have immediately checked out of this bit.
I'm going to sleep.
No more bets.
Well, I'm sorry you're going to sleep, Erndel, because that hero point was spent.
So now, uh, Speaker D is going to give us the history of the Dime 2.
Please go ahead.
No, I'm already asleep.
Sorry.
Well, as you can see, the Dime 2 was created in a, uh, in reaction to a largely debased currency.
You see, they had been adding silver to the nickel to debase it.
But then they figured out that silver is actually much more valuable than nickel.
So they just started making dimes out of that.
Thus, the Dime 2.
So when you started talking about the dime, I'm thinking, uh, is this the Dime 2?
No?
And it wasn't.
You were talking about the classic dime.
Thurston, I'd spend Hulky's hero point.
If you're going to declare something.
Hulky, do you, uh, do you agree to this?
What's your proposition, soldier?
I'm going to make the, I'm going to make it so that in, like, 50 years ago, the Dime 2 was cast down for being entirely not communist enough for people.
So they made the dime the regular symbol of communism again.
Then all the vampires rebelled because, uh, they preferred the retro coin was their slogan.
But I think it's for other reasons.
I'm going to, I'm tired.
Hulky?
Hulky, you're, uh, you're willing to spend that, that air point?
I will.
Okay.
But I will exact the debt from you.
Okay.
Mark yourself down the air point.
Thurston, just whatever I just said, whatever.
I don't want to be done at all.
Wait, wait, we're not down here.
Hulky.
Yeah.
Okay.
Thank you for marking that down.
Excellent.
Excellent.
Excellent.
Vina, as the, uh, sole survivor of the hero point wars.
Give yourself an extra hero point.
Good job.
Yay!
Yay!
Odo, Odo won, Odo won this by way of the prisoner's dilemma.
Vina is, like, staring off into the middle distance while, like, debates about nickels
are happening.
She goes, man, I just tried to admit it.
You're like, I just killed my childhood.
Yeah, I just killed my childhood.
I didn't want to, I didn't want to take away from this, but it seemed like the direction
we were going anyway, so I just fucking leaned into it.
Exactly.
We only know dysfunction.
We're broken people.
As we're having a good time.
Speaking of good times, I assume we are, we've been flying off at this point, heading
back either to, by Venus discretion, back to her mom or heading off somewhere else.
Well, shell-shocked Vina, who's at the helm while the Dime Wars talk is going on.
Vina, I assume there's, like, a low-key ringing as you stare off in the distance, instinctively
flying this vessel.
Where are you taking it?
Yeah, exactly.
I'm doing donuts, is what I'm doing, until the dime conversation has ended.
Okay, so, so cutting the, cutting the crock, as you know, the legend bets at one point
debated the dime three, and that's what's not.
I'm tired of talking about the dime.
I like the dime three.
I, I thought that was a good thing.
I think that was a good thing.
Thirsten, as, as, as the secondary GM, I raise up my hand and I ask, can we propel the
story forward?
I'm waiting for Vina to take the ship somewhere.
We're going, we will go back to Ayesa to, uh, inform everybody of what happened, and
then, uh, Vina's just gonna say, once we've finished that, I think we need to take to the
skies ASAP.
We don't really have much time to dilly-dally, and frankly, if I'm not gonna redeem myself
there, I'm not gonna redeem myself.
I've made my peace with that.
Vina.
We have too much to do.
And I'm not interested in playing pirate anymore.
Vina, would you like my opinion?
Tani, I always want your opinion.
I will take that as an open invitation for the rest of your life, but very good.
And, uh, I think, fuck these people and fuck your stupid mother.
You should never come back here again.
It's not worth your time.
You're too good for them.
Oh, Tani, that's so sweet of you.
Yes, we have many more foes to put onto stakes and crucify, so, you know, it's really not that nice when you think about it like that.
Tani, we haven't crucified a single person in the however long we've been doing this. It's been several years for some of us in character. I have no idea how long.
I've not had a good opportunity.
Who would you crucify? Just as an example.
He looks at Orin.
I think you should clip on your head.
I'm sorry, I just have the most, I have the most sacrilegious vision of Rahua in my head right now.
I was thinking the same thing.
Are they just going to crucify him on me?
Orin, we got to try something.
Rahua walks in the room holding a cross.
Looks very bad.
Ted, how's it?
What are we doing with this?
You told me you wanted this?
Every time he moves his arms, Orin's arms also move.
Jers and chat is not helping.
I already drew a T-posing Rahua.
Now you know we have to add, Jers.
It's not like this.
Yeah, I, um,
the quest started,
they won't go when I go.
I'll just, uh, glue Orin
to Rahua.
All right, that's good enough.
I'm about to become both ways in Coulter.
Give me a moment.
So,
I hear what you're saying, Tani,
and frankly, we don't need to go back.
We don't need to justify anything to anyone at this point.
We're not being held back from doing what we needed to do here,
and, I mean, I guess the rest is vanity, yeah?
Just wanting to, you know,
come back here at some point or another, but...
I think...
Where do we go next?
Well,
where do we have left?
I believe we have Orin.
Orin, you fall on your back.
Your eyes gloss over
to almost like a frosty white.
All of you see this happen.
Orin, in your space,
what you suddenly see
is
an image that you have not seen
in a long while.
you see
the great tips of the mountains
of your distant homeland.
Okay, okay.
Please tell me this scene is visible to you.
Yes.
See the mountains?
And you see this,
you see this beautiful
snow-capped mountaintop
at the very tips of the mountain.
And as you,
as you see them,
you, you, you recognize them.
As peaks
within the Fajal Mountains,
that mountain range
of your distant homeland,
somewhat known to others
as
Bergg's Fingers.
Uh, the, the mountains themselves
look as though
a titan's hand
resting there
with its fingers
as the mountaintop.
You see this,
and, and as you,
you see this vision,
the tips of those fingers
crack.
And as they crack,
a viscous,
tumorous,
black substance
begins to
ooze out of them,
descending
towards
the forests
below.
And then you wake
back up
only
20 seconds
or so later
as your companions
stand above you.
Orrin immediately
looks at the wheel
and goes,
we gotta go!
He just
rushes over,
he grabs the wheel
and by instinct
just,
just,
just like,
we gotta go this way!
now!
What on earth
are you doing?
Where specifically
are we going?
I'm going home!
Uh,
okay?
Why?
I saw it!
Where's home?
Are we going back
to the outset?
No.
Yeah, I thought you
were homeless.
No!
I have a home.
Oh.
You kind of
give me
homeless vibes,
Oren.
Elaborate.
I have a home.
It's Baldrick's house.
My home,
my home is out.
No, it ain't.
Fucking
next scene
airship crashes
into fucking
Baldrick's house.
Uh,
uh,
Oren,
Oren,
though,
as if he,
he looks
absolutely horrified
of what he saw,
uh,
as he's just
grasping onto the wheel,
if anyone's
trying to stop him,
he's like,
with a lot of his might,
just like,
I,
we have to turn
this way now.
You don't know
how to drive.
Uh,
as Oren goes,
like,
we have to go back
to Berg's fingers.
We have,
we have to go.
Okay.
You know what?
We don't need
to go back to Ayessa.
You just tell me
what direction it is
and we'll fly that way.
Okay?
But,
uh,
I'm gonna need you
to get your hands
off the wheel
because I,
you do not have,
you've never done
this before.
Oren,
uh,
as he,
he slowly begins
to take his hands off,
but you see he's a little,
like,
he's all shaky.
You know,
just like a,
like a shaken chihuahua
would probably be
the best description.
He's just like,
and he points,
uh,
to the southwest.
I think I got
the direction right,
relative of it.
He points to where
he goes,
like,
go to the northern
peaks of Amari.
Northern peaks of Amari.
You got it.
All right.
Cross the ocean.
And I'm gonna
take my free hand
and I'm gonna give him
a little side hug,
ruffle his hair again.
You can feel
he is trembling.
Okay.
All right.
Here.
You can stay
right here if you need to.
What did you see?
Well,
saw my home and
then I saw
that basically
the tips of the mountains
erupt with
basically just
horrid stuff
and
sweeping all down
onto the forests
and lands
and
taking over everybody
and
we gotta go.
all right.
Then, uh,
let's head that away.
While we're going,
uh,
Tanny,
here,
and I'm gonna, uh,
toss the hat
underhanded to him.
Go ahead and give that
a look-see.
But, of course,
I'll cast
Object Whispers
on the hat.
Ooh, yeah.
Uh, give me
one sec here.
I have a thing
for this.
I'm fairly certain.
Yeah, um,
sorry,
you'll have to just
give me one minute
for this.
discuss this amongst,
talk amongst yourselves
for a moment.
Distraction.
You saw a sort of vision.
You see that
Oren nods at you.
You see that he's
very fixated
on the direction
and
very purposely
staying near the wheel
at all times.
I put my hand
on his shoulder.
Now, Oren,
you must realize
this.
we have been
urged
to sudden
action before
and each time
we have prevailed.
We fought
through Golgotha.
We defeated
Captain Sharkskin.
And now
we will go
to your home
and save it
from whatever threat
that you beheld.
Oren will look
at you
and you kind of
see like
he has like
wet eyes.
He's like
bling, bling, bling.
Oh,
wet eyes.
You see that he's
obviously in a lot
of distress
as you put his hand
on his shoulder.
He just kind of like
grabs it
sort of like
how like a kid
would like kind of
grasp onto something
tightly.
Oh,
I'll give him
a hug.
Do you want me
to explain
dialectical materialism
to you again?
He nods.
Mm hmm.
Okay.
He definitely
did not understand
that the first time.
I didn't even
pay attention.
As you're
explaining it,
as you're
explaining it
in your other hand
is casting magic
to announcer.
Of course,
the verbal
components are
an essay on
dialectical materialism.
Level
level nine spell
a classless spell.
You cast
object whispers
on the hat,
the the shark
tooth in the
lined hat
with the feather.
The essence
of the child.
There's always
a wish
for something
greater.
Sometimes
the wish
comes at
too high
a price.
A key
to access
the tumultuous
storms
of one's future.
That's what you
get off the...
I get the sense
there's puppets
that wish
of the forsaken
child.
Might have
cost more
than we might
have been
privy to.
perhaps
this dream
of yours
is one dream
best left
abandoned.
But
can we still
go and check?
But of course
we're going
to your place.
No!
Oh no!
No,
you saw some
real shit!
Yeah,
no,
if I were you
I'd be worried.
Yeah,
it's pretty fucked up.
Yeah.
Everyone you know
could be dead!
They might already
be dead!
You left home!
You let the rot
take everything
in the mountains!
Is that all
your fault?
Of course,
hide with anything!
It's your fault,
stupid bird!
I know you know
stupid bird!
Get on the
Mesa fix!
No,
no,
no.
Now listen,
don't worry
about it,
Rua,
because I'll
tell you this,
the first law
of dialectics
is about the
unity and
conflict of
opposites.
Okay?
So for example,
this unity
and conflict
is the negative
and positive
of the particle.
So the screen
begins to like
dim into black
as this starts
and the airship
like continues
flying off
into the distance.
Yes,
it continues to dim.
However,
as it is
as it is
doing this manner,
it doesn't quite
stop.
Instead,
what it does
is it
like there's
a camera pan
and the camera
pans down
towards
Venus Home
Land
and Aesa
and Melanza
Ventacia.
And as it pans,
like it cuts
to the city
and within it,
there's like
jubilant
celebration
and happiness
and they're
like,
there's all
sorts of
cheering
and declarations
of the great
new Vicon
and everyone
is so excited
for Veena
to come back
because she's
going to be
the new Vicon
and everyone's
so happy
and there's
fireworks going
off
and Veena
never shows.
Nope.
Nope.
A true party
girl is fashionably
late
and by that
I mean fashionably
doesn't even show up.
There's like fucking
Ewoks down there
and like
there's like
18 different
Wait,
Veena,
there are Ewoks
down there.
Oh shit,
hold on.
I do a U-turn.
They don't shut up
like they're going
to eat people.
She does a U-turn
and then two
unseen logs
just smash
into our ship
from above time.
Smash it into
Veena's head
specifically.
I don't know.
That fucking
battlefront mode
was just like
a fucking
survival horror
with Ewoks.
So good.
Great mode.
And you know what?
It's thematically
relevant that
Veena does not
attend this.
She does not
want to be
Viconned.
She is
she's done
playing pirate
and whatever
you had planned
for that
I'm really sorry
Thurston.
Oh no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no.
It's fine.
It's fine.
It's fine.
I just wanted to
hurt you by letting
you know that
was planned.
Oh,
thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Because you know
I like this.
This is for Veena.
Veena has progressed.
Veena has progressed.
This is for Odo
who gets to miss
out on the
you're like
captain pirate.
This is just
a personal knife.
I do.
I do think
it's really funny.
He's attacking me.
The last thing
that happened
was someone
asked,
all right,
where are we
going?
And then Thurston
was like,
I'm taking the reins.
I'm giving
I'm giving
Oren a conniption.
We're going
because we couldn't
decide on going
home because we
made the dime
bit too big.
What?
No,
we're going to
Oren's household.
I mean,
not Oren's household.
I'm going back
to the house.
We're going.
Speaker,
I know where
we're going.
I'm saying
you're going.
The game
that you're
currently playing
is Pathfinder
second.
Did you know
that you're
a wizard,
motherfucker?
He's a wizard?
It's true.
But it wasn't
always.
Let's revisit
that in this
cool one
hour research
video.
Yeah.
I'm going to
take enough
Tylenol to
fall asleep.
Good night.
Do I have
another hero
point already?
I have something
stupid I want
to do.
Oh, well.
You have
nothing.
You're still
going to have
a hero point.
I'm worried.
You had to
one up me.
You had to
one up me.
You don't
get a hero
point.
But that's
often how I
get my hero
points.
It's true.
We cut
back in
as several
days of
airship travel
have passed.
Speaker,
you can continue
with the latter
part of your
instruction to
Orin.
Right.
So the third
law,
and this one's
the tricky one,
is the
negation
of the
negation.
So think
about it like
this.
This is
when you
have two
points that
coalesce into
a negative
reaction,
you will have
a tertiary
reaction that
will again
be able to
interface
with that
negation.
It negates
the negation.
Do you understand
what I'm trying
to say to you?
You said Orin
is still staring
at the direction
where we need
to go.
So like
he's just
still holding
onto your
hand anytime
like throughout
the times
you've been
like,
hey,
we need
to let's
go to a
different
location.
He's like,
I'm not
leaving this
will.
Like he
just plants
himself down.
Orin is not
an inch.
He hasn't
eaten,
he hasn't
drank anything.
Gorgamonger,
you know,
seems agitated
about it.
Orin,
you haven't
drank any
of your
blue juice.
That's
Windex.
You haven't
drank,
you haven't
drank any
of your
Windex.
I don't want
any.
I want
you.
I want
you to
imagine.
I want
you to,
let's go.
I want
you.
All right.
Thirsty
in the
RP.
Distant
scream of
Erndil in
agony.
What is
with you
guys?
I got up
to put a
dish away.
I was like,
I want you
to imagine
a moment.
Don't,
don't worry.
Don't worry,
Erndil.
I'll recenter us.
Don't worry.
No, you
will.
Yes, I
will.
Bear with
me.
Trust me.
I'm exacting
a debt
from you
after all.
That's
true.
He does
have a
debt.
It's been
three days
of traveling.
Oren has
not moved
an inch
and probably
has not
heard most
of what
Tanhauser
has said.
But Rahua
has been
sad at
rapt
attention
listening
to three
days
of
explaining
whatever
the fuck
Tanhauser
is explaining.
Rahua
doesn't know
what he's
talking about.
For a
one-eyed
person,
imagine
two eyes,
one of
which slanted
off to the
side and
half-lidded.
At the
mention of
drinking
Windex,
Rahua gets
up again,
goes over
to the
Bombay
doors,
slams his
hand on
the button,
and just
falls through.
Oh,
there he
goes.
Okay.
Okay.
Just Kratos
falling off the
cliffs.
So,
Tani,
is this a
part of
dialectical
materialism?
I was
actually
taking
notes
while we
were
driving.
That's
why we've
been going
in circles
for the
last three
days.
Dude,
he's about
to become
his own
antithesis.
I jump
off after
him.
I was
going to,
Ted Hauser,
why are you,
I have
fly.
I was
going to
come back.
Can you
just kill
them?
Ted Hauser
just falls
past him.
Well,
I guess
the question
is,
Ted Hauser,
do you have
a message?
I stopped
Tan Hauser
from dying.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Excellent.
Excellent.
You managed
to cast fly
on both of
yourselves
and return
to the
ship.
Rahua,
I seem
to have
somehow,
without
thinking about
it,
cast fly
on myself
and saved
my own
life.
Wow.
That's so
cool,
Tan Hauser.
Can you
tell me
how you did
that next
time?
Wow.
And you
saved me
to end.
You are
so generous
as to
spend my
spell slot
for me
as well.
Isn't
that so
cool of
you?
I'm
starting
to get
the
implication
that I
might
have
misread
the
situation,
Rahua.
Hey,
a person
who works
for a
major
sports
team
that's
listening
to
this
show
that I
asked
to put
us
up
on
the
Jumbotron
when
it's
your
last
day,
I
take
it
back.
Don't
do it.
It's not
worth it.
It's not
worth it
anymore.
I'm so
fucking
tired,
man.
Rahua,
what is
the issue?
I just
don't like
that.
We've
spent
three days.
I need
to check
something.
of course
here.
Would you
like to
would you
like to
this is
totally
RP.
I don't
care.
Just
make
yourself
trained
in
society
now.
Why?
Yeah.
Why not?
Why are
you?
Yeah.
What are
you doing?
Because he
sat there
and he
listened to
it while
Oren was
spacing out.
He told
me he
was being
a good
little
studious
tree
boy.
And I'm
rewarding
good
role
play.
True.
I understand
Baldrick's
depression a
little bit
more.
Do you
understand
Erndl's
depression a
little bit
more?
Because that's
the real
kicker right
now.
Brother,
I've understood
your depression.
Don't worry.
Thank you.
Let's drink
Windex
together.
Yes,
Tanhauser?
What's
wrong?
We spent
three days.
What?
No,
go on.
What?
We spent
three days.
I don't know
if Oren's
really alive
right now
because he
hasn't eaten
or moved
in three days.
I hope he
is.
I don't feel
alive.
I'm not sure
I really am
anymore.
Three days.
How many
parts are we
real?
Is this part
I don't
know
Hegelian
dialectics?
No,
no,
but we
are real.
I think
I'm real.
I think
you're real.
Am I real?
Is there
something inside
this armor?
Is there
nothing in
I must
go check?
Crunch walks
off?
I don't
out the
Bombay
doors as
well?
No,
no,
no.
I don't
know if
he's actually
house.
We're real.
You and I
feel.
You and I
I don't
know if he
actually is
real.
I don't
know either,
but Rua,
if you didn't
want to hear
me talk about
dialectical
materialism,
you could have
asked me to
stop.
OK,
I'm going to
come in here.
I'm stepping in
here.
I'm stepping
in here.
OK,
I'm stepping
in here.
I'm stepping
in here.
OK,
OK,
OK,
Erndel,
cover your
ears.
You're not
going to like
what I have
to say.
All right.
All right.
For this,
you're making
this worse
and worse.
This.
Oh,
yes,
this triggers
a flashback.
Oh,
OK,
OK,
this triggers
a flashback
to the
the king
of moths.
explaining a
very similar
thing to
Roa during
their first
time together
in the swamp.
Speaker,
please roleplay
as the king
of moths briefly.
The determination
of the
concept
out of
itself,
the thing
that must
be considered
in relation
and in its
development,
the contradictory
thing of
itself
or of
another.
Tendencies
in each
phenomenon,
a union
of analysis.
This,
this,
this is the
stuff,
bureaucratic
gobbledygook,
attempting to
recreate the
marvels of
magic.
They'll never
do it,
but they'll
always try.
OK,
Rahua,
please remember
that in this
flashback,
you are like
the equivalent
of a few
days old.
Baby.
Rahua reaches
up and is
holding a
small amphipede
in his hands.
I found a
bug!
That's great,
Spawn.
What were we
talking about?
Well,
we were
talking about
Stafford
Peter,
have your
pay grade,
I think.
That
disappointing
comment,
that disappointing
comment hits
us back to
the airship
where Rahua's
memory has
now associated
Tannhauser's
speech with
the first time
there was
disappointment
in him.
I don't
think I
want to be
around
anymore.
Like,
like what
you mean?
Like in
general?
I don't
want to be
around anymore.
Like you
want to
die?
Wait.
Wait,
no,
I do
want to
be around.
I don't
want you
to be
around.
I cast
cast in
the time.
I
believe that
allows a
save,
right?
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Oh,
good.
Oh,
good.
Oh,
good.
Okay.
I'm going to
miss this
everybody.
Did you miss
us everybody?
Welcome back
guys.
Welcome back
to
All right.
So you
take a
74 points
of
damage.
Holy
shit.
Wait,
74?
Yeah,
double damage
and a crit
fail.
And he's
sickened
too.
Okay,
cool.
Mark it
on your
feet.
Absolutely.
Oh my
God.
This is
how we
show off
the new
overlay.
The
opposite
yourself
special.
Except
for each
other.
I'm a
terrific
damage.
74.
That
is
mental
and
bludgeoning.
So double
both of
those.
If you
have any
resistances
or weaknesses,
take more
or less.
I'm down
to 64.
That's
what my
guy goes.
Oh,
I fall.
I fall
through time.
Let me know
when I
return.
Oh,
you're here
like instantly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You have
like a
brief moment
where it's
that who
was it in
the Simpsons
who got
like which
one of
the baseball
team got
sent to
like the
negative
zone in
that baseball
team episode.
I forget.
Was it
Ken Griffey
Jr.
One of
them or
was it
Jose
Canseco?
One of
them fell
into the
negative
zone.
That's
where you
are for
a very
brief period
of time.
Thank you
old Simpsons
fans.
Only you
will get
that
reference.
and then
you're back
on the
deck of
the ship
which as
you reappear
the clouds
in almost
almost you
know storyline
time to
begin to
part revealing
the distant
peaks of
Berg's
fingers.
Oh.
Oh.
Orin.
Hey,
we're here.
Those during
up and at
him,
bud.
During the
time Orin's
been like with
you the entire
time.
If you leave
the helm like
he is like
I'm going
to make
sure this
keeps going
this direction
and now
that you've
been closer
and closer
to the
mountains
as
Tannhäuser
has been
away.
Orin's
been like
you need
to go
near those
mountains.
The air
current will
take you
that way.
He's giving
you the
best instructions
to navigate
through this
because as
you see
it's just
like a
big hand
is holding
an entire
civilization
in there
and he's
just like
the air
current goes
there but
if you take
that one
you'll smash
it to that
rock.
You need to
go this
way and
he's like
making
sure you
know he
brings you
to the
right place.
Oh yeah
of course
you got it
and I
will follow
his instructions
to the
letter.
Yeah.
They begin
to take
you though
it's it's
clear an
airship like
this is not
going to have
an easy time
landing in the
mountains and
and you you
would know
this.
Yeah.
Your best
bet is one
of the few
clearings.
which would
take you
close to
the notable
settlement in
the region.
It's like
there
Miss Vina
kind of
points down
a bit of
the mountain
and forest
surrounds the
kind of
clear and
it's like
we can
kind of
anchor in
there and
they have
to go in
by foot.
They don't
have anything
for for
sky docks
like this.
I guess
that makes
sense.
Well I'm
up for a
hike.
Is everybody
out?
Why is
Tannhauser
look all
fucked up?
They sent
me through
forever.
I'm going
to get
really offended
the next
time.
Okay.
Gotcha.
Hang in there
blood.
comes out
with like
a like
a mug
of something
steaming
wondering what
the hell's
been going
on.
What uh
we here
we there
we're here
is that
coffee I
need coffee
it's not
oh
you wouldn't
like it very
much trust me
what is it
vinegar
hang on
let me check
my let me
check my
crafting ability
because I
believe it is
a steaming
egg cream
fizz
oh
egg cream
fizz
that don't
sound too
why is it
creamy and
fizzy
containing
containing
neither eggs
nor cream
an egg cream
fizz contains
milk or
nut milk
sparkling water
and flavored
syrup
it's also
hot so
don't drink
it like
that
you know
with a
little bit
of vodka
I feel
like that
go pretty
hard
I think
you need
to stop
putting
alcohol
on things
you're
probably
right
I'm
supposed to
be
you dropped
the sky
pirate
business
I think
it's time
to drop
the alcoholism
too
oh god
the vena
becomes an
accountant
arc is
so real
no I'll
never become
an accountant
I'm just
going to
be a
sober
vagrant
Thurston
Thurston
accountants
also drink
that is
true
oh yeah
yes
I know
mine does
he will
he will
swig the
rest of
the drink
briefly
and then
put the
mug aside
all right
I'm with
you guys
several
projectiles
emerge from
the surface
towards the
ship
son of a
bitch
oh god
Oren
could you
tell them
there are
about two
dozen
projectiles
that seem
to be
going
around
like
crisscrossing
paths
darting
like
with
strange
turns
in
ways
that are
approaching
you
can
somebody
explain
to them
that we
come
in
peace
oh god
I'm
gonna
have
to
explain
to
them
that
we
come
in
peace
somebody
take
the
wheel
Oren
begins
waving
his
hand
up
he
begins
to
basically
speak
in
something
else
completely
just
not
common
and he's
just
just
yelling
out
into
the
sides
because
he's
like
hey
it's
like
no
no
it's
me
they
the
the
the
figures
stop
darting
as much
as
before
and the
projectiles
resolve
into
humanoids
who
have
antlered
masks
wooden
masks
with like
branch
like
antlers
coming out
of them
hoods
covering
their
heads
wreaths
of
leaves
around
them
they are
propelled
by some
sort of
magic
that gives
them the
appearance
of almost
insectile
like
butterfly
wings
of an
incorporeal
or
semi
translucent
appearance
and you
can see
these
figures
begin
to
move
around
the vessel
getting
very close
to within
to within
eyeshot
so all
of you
can see
them
there's
about
of
these
figures
in their
hands
each of
them
carry
sort of
a variety
of
equipment
the most
standard
being
some
long
spears
with
wooden
shaft
tops
a few
have
bows
and
just
a
small
number
of them
seem
equipped
with
like
cudgels
like
wooden
cudgels
kind
of
a
shillelagh
esque
appearance
oh
we are
very
outnumbered
can
or
roll
a
perception
to
confirm
his
assumptions
yeah
yeah
give me a
perception
to confirm
his assumptions
oh that's
bad
it is a
total
it's
kind of
what you
remember
like
they look
they look
like people
you've seen
before
um
they're a
lot
less
um
sprightly
than you
remember
like this
is very
rigid
um
in terms
of approach
like
they've
been doing
this a
fair amount
this type
of maneuver
yes
it's
practiced
uh
orn continues
to yell
uh
having
trying to
have his
voice
carry
uh
along
and as
he begins
to kind
of gesture
and say
pretty much
a bunch
of
unteligible
words
everyone
else
he kind
of motions
over to
everybody
else
along with
bringing
gorgamonger
up who
roars
at them
and he
starts to
say more
and more
of just
kind of
like hey
like
he's like
pretty much
communicating
with him
he's like
these are
my friends
i've
returned
back
he's like
because he's
assuming
who he
thinks it
is uh
and he's
like like
please don't
hurt them
the sight
of gorgamonger
has them
like very
much
um
lower their
their sort
of uptight
posture
they become
a bit more
relaxed at
the sight of
gorgamonger
um and
you you
rather than
hearing the
the sort
of clipped
words you
would expect
uh the
response comes
in in the
common tongue
from one
of them
whoa okay
so what you
want to do
is you want
to land
like over
there
you
motherfucker
yeah
they're all
surfers
let's go
so i gave
i told thurston
go look man
just do whatever
you want
first mistake
last mistake
hell yeah
i mean look
you established
the societal
norm for this
location in
your character
maybe orc's
just a weird
guy man
maybe he's
just a weird
guy
chat did i
make the
right decision
did i make
the right
decision
chat
oh yeah
i'm rolling
with you
don't worry
this wasn't
really
don't
police
inside of
you
yeah
what
all right
the airship
comes to a
landing
in a clearing
baldrick is
guiding it in
because vena
is with
orrin
there you go
uh
it it it
you you're
able to set
it down very
gently into a
to a grassy
field that's
surrounded by
trees on
all sides
the figures
they their
their magical
wings sort
of dissipate
as as you
uh as you
land uh one
of them comes
up the probably
the same one
who talked to
you before
wow gnarly
gnarly landon
uh welcome
it's like how's
everything been
it's like
you know
it has to
i gotta
like i like
i did him
for one time
and then
you've cursed
me like
i've changed
him since
then
linguistic
poison
it's like
his accent
has changed
over the
adventure
culture shock
yeah exactly
he adapted
his speech
now he's
gonna like
be back
and like
have to
learn his
speech patterns
again
yes now he
sounds like
too normal
he's like
you sound like
dormy
yeah what the
hell happened
you dude
i thought you
were cool
did you forget
the music
used to be
about the
music
that's not
tubular bro
it's all about
the vibes
man
uh orin
you're such a
sellout
orin
you went to
the big town
you have
free creative
reign you knew
he was gonna
hurt you
oh yeah
i look i'm
just following
the canon
that was
established
early in the
campaign
remembering
the roots
of rock
grind
i think
we knew
what we were
doing at
the roots
of rock
grind
so i think
we knew
exactly what
we were
doing
we know
it's like
we we noted
it down
actually
uh orin
will basically
begin to uh
he'll bring
gorgamunga up
and so like
like like these
are all my
friends and
stuff and
i've well
uh i'm here
to come back
home but
is everything
be okay
here at the
fingers like
there's been
like stuff
going on
uh i think
you need to
talk to your
dad about
that though
orin kind
of tenses up
a little bit
he's like
oh no
uh he
kind of looks
back to
everybody
and he
kind of
looks back
to the
guy and
he's like
the guard
looks back
to everybody
as you look
back to
everybody
like immediately
locks contact
with baldric
whoa i like
your mask
okay the bird
man paid you
a compliment
baldric
sorry
he's
dissociating
right now
i just i'm
enjoying the
fact that we're
talking to
otto from
the simpsons
even better
the first
of many
autos
don't ruin
it
hulk
baldric
will step
up with
orin
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
so anyways
yeah
uh
so uh
like
come
come to
town
how to
talk with
these guys
there are a lot
of them like
this at outset
usually college
students
we could like
walk you there
or something
you know
it looks like
you're
you're
you're
walkers
yeah
yeah
yeah
i mean
kind of
for 10 minutes
a day
i'm not
yeah
yeah
i
yeah
yeah
no
yeah
yeah
he just turns
and starts
walking
yeah
so you guys
are communists
right to
business
hold on
to your
butts
everywhere
nope
that's
rechecked
out again
started talking
about communism
again
and those
checked out
vena's gonna
lean down
to orin
and just
all right
so um
what's the
deal with
your dad
that uh
that a
sore subject
and i mean
you know
as you have
recently learned
i sympathized
so
are you saying
this like
super quietly
or are you
like
yeah
i'm like
leaning down
okay okay
so people like
can't hear you
okay
yes
uh orin
will whisper
back uh
and say like
well
i
i
they didn't
know
i left
i kind of
snuck away
to go find
gorgamonger
and
my dad's
basically
that orin
kind of
thinks a little
bit because
he's trying to
find a way
to describe
it
it's like
he's like
one of the
you know
i like how
priests have
a guy
and he's
like
not quite
the leader
but he's
leader of
everybody
around him
and he's
leader of
kind of
like what
he does
so he's
like the
forest
pope
i guess
that'd be
the closest
i guess i
know what
catholicism
is
like him
and my
mom
basically
gotta help
out with
all the
druids
and stuff
and
there's
the one
who taught
me how
to be
one
and
teach
everyone
else
how to
follow
the
greening
way
but
i
i don't
know what
he's gonna
do
especially
when he
finds out
what happened
to gorgomonger
and he
looks back
and
gorgomonger
is just
plodding
along
gorgomonger
is nodding
with some
of the
others
like
wait
i mean
wouldn't
you say
this is
uh
much better
than
how we
found him
i'd call
it a
success
and
you've
managed
to accomplish
a lot
while you're
away
i mean
even
if he's
upset
i'm
sure
he'll
have
more
to be
proud
of
than
he
will
to
be
upset
about
i hope
you're
right
miss
vena
but
we're
probably
going to
see
something
very
different
so
it's
not
so
much
that
we're
communists
but
we're
a
community
need
vision
on
this
one
thurston
i
probably
forgot
to
set
it
you
guys
are
anarchists
that's
pretty
cool
i mean
we don't
like
like
the
titles
yeah
you guys
are
anarchists
i say
nodding my
head even
more
sure
no that's
cool
yeah
you guys
we're
cool
yeah
or
your
your
your
people
are
so
chill
yeah
well
being in
nature
all the
time
really
relaxes
the soul
yeah
i don't
know anything
about that
i'm
made
pretty much
eight
ninety percent
out of
metal
that's
sad
i don't think
that's the
reason he's
not chill
yeah
yeah i think
it's mostly a
mentality thing
the metal
seems unrelated
to the fact
that you
have trouble
chilling
yeah
what are you
talking about
it's also a sign
he didn't really
go to college
i did go to college
i killed you
i'll have you
balderick is looking
like really
you know
happy and like
unbothered as
tanhauser rants
and raves next to
him at the
insinuation
you can't see it
but you
spiritually feel him
smiling so
neatly
at you
he has been
he has been
depicted as
chud hauser
i win
chud hauser
chud hauser
orin damn
i gotta be honest
with you
with all of you
and your lovely
people who have
come to accept
me
they all turn to
you yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
all right
so basically
until like
i met you
when i was
when i was back
in golgotha
right
i was like a
wasteland
raider
savage
marauder
so i basically
just hated
nature
i hated
everything
then afterwards
i became a
robot
and as a
robot man
i've come to
think that nature
is you know
entirely beneath
me
and honestly
civilization
should should
rise up
and grind
nature
to bits
to create
a more equitable
and civilized
world
but you know
yeah
i'm not into
that sort of
thing anymore
it's very clear
i just don't
understand the
vibe
all of our
travels
i've gone
everywhere
and tried
to extol
my virtues
onto other
people
maybe i
should be
learning
or kind of
blanks a couple
times going
the expansion
of people
and settlements
are okay
mr
townhouser
to have
civilization
it's like
the same
thing of
bees making
beehives
as long as
they're not
trying to
corrupt
and you know
perverse the
land
then you know
like they're
just like every
other animal
they gotta have
a place to
live
no i i
completely agree
with you
though obviously
i am not in
the same
definitional
i didn't come
to the i
didn't come to
the result the
same way as
you did
um
yeah it takes
people a while
yeah
the greening way
teaches us that
as much as nature
can provide it
also takes away
well you know
what oran i put
my hand on his
shoulder
i've taught
you so much
about communism
right
yeah
you know
you say that
you know a lot
about it right
no
that's fine
tanhouser's gonna
leave and just
start staring
out at the
horizon
reaching his
hand forlornly
out to the
sun
grasping at
sunlight in
his fist
you were not
particularly
discerning with
your students
tanhouser this
was doomed to
happen
can anyone in
this party
actually spell
communism
yes i can
excuse me
baltrick looks
very incensed
you know
i can i can
you can okay
hit us with it
oran
k k o
m
wrong
how do you
spell it
i'm not telling
you don't be a
cheater
damn it
i was hoping you
can't see the
thing
i know but i'm
not telling
no no i did i
changed it
i thought i did
it's so dark
oh do we need to
refresh
no no no
it's probably
just a back
end thingy
yeah we're
stalling for
time
yeah sorry to
interrupt
i was like
no no no no
it's good i
don't want the
background to be
let's try that
vena vena what
the hell is wrong
with you
why would you
assume you
know how to
spell something
you know i just
kind of assumed
that at this
point yes you
did any
anything relating
to um
to theory i'm
not really sure
where we're
well who do you
think i am
you know what
that is true you
are a terrorist
yeah of course i
know how to spell
otherwise the mail
doesn't go where
it's supposed to
go
true
all right i take
it back
only to you
yeah thanks
eruhua
minus 50
relations
one of one of
these people has
been following
you
and just
staring at
you
hi
can i
help you
been tailing
me for some
time
you can just
like ask a
question bro
yeah
you're
are you a
tree or
person
a little
column a
little column
b but also
neither column a
or b
okay
you see
this little
thing
rahul
will point
to the orb
in his chest
that's me
it's a little
version of me
but i'm
this
and rahul
will stretch out
his arms
and also like
everything
and everyone
including you
i like the
universe
experiencing
itself
because you're
you're one
of the
anarchites
the
the
the
the
the
the ones
that walk
among us
you're like
the fourth
i've seen
the fourth
usually
they tend to
not stick
around very
long
i'm assuming
you mean like
a regular
anarchite
you know
the ones
that kind
of go like
and just kind
of go crazy
you're like
one of them
kanrasu
like ones
yes
yes exactly
like that
think
yeah
seen
seen you
coming through
here
not you
you
different
you
wait do you
mean like
kanrasu
or do you
mean
actual
i thought i
was
the only
one
like a
whole
experiment
gone wrong
type deal
there are
others like
you i've
i've seen
them
yeah
what
yeah
oh
oh
um
i'll be
right back
who's
just kind
of
gotta walk
ahead
and just
pace
for a
little
while
this is
this is
very
revelatory
information
to him
uh-huh
the rest
of you
would see
like
who
are
just
like
who
is
gonna
kill
the guy
can
can i
roll
my
zero
society
to
recall
about
kanrasu's
and then
relative
uh
yeah
what
are you
yeah
yeah
yeah
for sure
for sure
i have a
plus zero
here we go
yeah do it
you've
certainly
never heard
of or
known
anything
in this
area
about
kanrasu's
orange
rugs
keeps it
on going
uh
yeah
you continue
on your
way
um
eventually
you find
yourselves
reaching
the
perimeter
of what
must be
not a
settlement
in the
traditional
sense
but some
kind of
area
that has
been
been
populate
here
uh
there are
temporary
dwellings
built
out of
uh
out of
tree
trunks
and other
such
things
you
you see
that there
are some
citizens
kind of
not milling
about but
at
at work
um
and and
as you
you approach
uh
you can see
that they
there are
several
uh
individuals
walking
around
all of
them
have
sort
of a
a
similar
appearance
in that
they're
all
wearing
masks
so
you can
see that
like
many of
them
have
like
wood
some
of
which
has
been
like
stapled
or
stitched
together
in some
strange
ways
uh
but they
all
they all
wear
masks
as they
walk
between
different
locations
uh
performing
whatever
sort of
duties
they have
one
appears to
have
even
just like
a small
like
tree stump
on their
head
with fungus
growing out
of it
um
you know
for for
our audio
listeners
uh
i'm sorry
you don't
get to see
this amazing
art by
uh
by skill
bean
but you
can
thank you
scully
watch it
live
yes
thank you
scully
uh
like
i love
yeah
and they're
all just
sort of
like
milling
about
talking
in
similar
tones
to
uh
the tone
that
orrin
had
when he
was
shouting
off the
side
of the
ship
it's
very
quiet
though
like
a lot
of
conversations
and sort
of
like
muffled
whispers
it's almost
like
murmuring
is
this
what
it's
normally
like
murmuring
and begins
to look
around
it's like
it's a lot
more
uh
he kind
of
as he's
pausing
looking
around
i'm assuming
he's by
default
seeing
like
doors
are closed
like
like
the description
of like
doors are
closed
shutters
are
shutters
are brought
in
you know
and he's
like
normally
there's a lot
more people
and
it
well
happiness
really
everyone seems
recluse
usually
people
you
yeah
stay in
when it's
winter
but it's
it's
it's not
it's the
lizards
the what
huh
the lizards
the lizard men
yeah
oh
they're causing
problems
but
i didn't
i didn't
think there
would be
much of a
problem
when i
left
but
oh
yeah
it became
a real
big problem
after you
left
yeah
it was like
we were
there
and then
you were
gone
and then
they were
here
well
is
everyone
okay
though
but
they
didn't
do
anything
horrible
yet
right
i mean
we had
to fight
them a few
times
a couple
people
had died
buried
them
downstream
like you
do
horn frowns
yeah
it's not
good
that's why
we're
putting together
for the
festival
we're hoping
that if we
put on a
rad
festival
this year
that the
greening way
is gonna
gonna back
us up
oh my god
ready
the growth
festival
we're going
to woodstock
how did
you know
the name
oh my god
i tried to
implore some
lore
thursday goes
nah man
you gave me
rain
it's woodstock
it's woodstock
they're taking us
to fucking
woodstock
bro
i've always
wanted to go
to tree broth
i've been
really i've been
following this
really cool
stump stomp
band recently
i'm really
hoping to
put on our
set this
year
i'm really
into balsa
core music
right now
i've been
getting really
into gnome
core
yeah don't
say you
know music
until you
know gnome
core
dark gnome
core
this is
where i just
have them be
like whoa
we don't ever
talk about
gnomes here
like just
like some
dark twist
to this
just like
oh my god
awful wow
players who
were like
everyone's
great except
the gnome
no so you
know what's
gonna be the
case is that
the gnomes
they're talking
about are
actually the
dwarf fortress
gnomes which
are just
nuisances
also don't even
they're not even
sapient beings
they're just
little men that
flit about and
eat your beer
and dig
holes
they often
come in
these skull
shapes
shut up
shut up
that's fine
that's fine
that's fine
that's fine
i understand
yeah but
i see you
i wish i did
not a little
too far
we're we're
in we're in
the settlement
now this
by the way
since you're
like new
here this
is fist
reach
fist reach
yeah
why do you
call it
that
or it'll
tell you
because the
mountain looks
like a
big hand
oh yeah
that's true
oh
so it was a
joke
i throw aside
a large rock
everyone like
gives like a
massive fucking
side
you caught
me off
guard
i knew
i had
i had
the lore
ready
and i was
like
oh no
oh
i i was
absolutely
when you
gave me
the settlement
name of
fist reach
i'm like
i'm making
zoran explain
this one
i could have
another
better name
just fuck
off
it's a good
name
it's a good
name
it's a good
name
it's a good
name
you had me in a
second i looked a
little afraid there
a little uh
what do you mean
by the color
that
what do you mean
i'm looking at you
like jk
i guess i'm
very naive
i don't have my
head in the gutter
24-7
yeah i'm so
i forgot i was
cooked
i'm chopped
all right
i'm gonna propose
a new name
for this location
i think we should
call it pig barter
i agree
we should call it
pig barter
do you have a
narrative declaration
to make
sure don't
exactly
land
to claim
for a pig
farm
nope
i don't know
my blood
so the lizard
movement is
hacking
has
anything else
strange
been happening
in the area
a natural
phenomena
um
you know
well
storms
earthquakes
uh
i don't know
giant rivers
of rot
spooky
yeah
like
scary ghost
spooky
or like
giant animals
that'll kill
you spooky
maybe both
yeah sure
why not both
why not both
that's just
that's just
our life
yeah
don't worry
there's probably
some kind of
secret third
thing too
and it probably
also wants
us dead
don't worry
don't worry
you've sent
the best
people
with the
spooky
breast
have they
come back
no
how long
have they been
out there
a while
a while now
i don't know
why that just
that just hit
me really
really hard
did they come
back
no
it's like
cut off
your laugh
super hard
look i'm trying
to do new
npcs these are
like the chillest
people
i really like
these people
i think these
people are
enlightened
i'm obsessed
with them
and you have
to also understand
that like i'm
delivering it in
like my voice
but like
obviously like
like if this
were like a
fucking video
game they'd be
talking like some
near automata
slash replicant
like
oh yeah
like come on
yeah yeah
yeah yeah
yeah
no they didn't
come back
have you heard
from them
not in a while
but
they're the best
people we could
send
can i ask what
their qualifications
were just out of
curiosity
well it's
orin's mom
oh
oh
my mom
went out
yeah
orin looks
okay that's
why it's gonna
be okay
hasn't gotten
worse since she
went out so i
think she's doing
something right
can you please
bring us to
berg's hall
oh
yeah we're
we're almost
there
it's just
just a little
bit in if
you remember
the way
here
i'll
i'll
leave
just follow
me
um
so uh
gonna keep
wearing that
mask
frandy's like
talking to
baldrick
baldrick
i just
i'm sorry
it comes
and goes
so you uh
you're gonna
wear that
mask
yeah
it's kind
of part
of my
business
okay
uh
you like
give some
like clipped
uh
language words
to someone
else
uh
and one
of the
citizens
sort of
rushes off
and runs
into one
of the
closed
homes
and comes
out
carrying
a bucket
okay
you're gonna
have to
paint
the bucket
brown
fine
works for
me
okay
good
and like
there's like
and then like
the citizen
starts like
painting your
bucket
with like
this this
brown paint
see
and like
this guard
sort of like
leans back
to the rest
of you
you can
only go
in
if you're
wearing a
wooden mask
or you're
maskless
in the
burks hall
but
we have
some wood
chips
and paint
that we
put on
and it
kind of
counts
like
you know
i got it
being respectful
on all that
yeah
like we're
respectful of
you
we wouldn't
ask you
to take
it off
so thanks
for being
chill
about the
paint
yep
besides
camouflage
yeah
um
zorn would
you like
to describe
the burks
hall to
people here
as you
approach it
burks hall
is pretty
much an
elongated
long house
but as
much as
it would
be more
on viking
theme by
the definition
of that
name it's
more of
a collection
of tree
trunks
bark
leaves
everything
that nature
has provided
has pretty
much been
picked up
as if
from the
ground
and carefully
but skillfully
put together
to where
as you would
probably
understand
a bundle
of sticks
would show
gaps and
holes if you
try to make
a wall
or fence
out of it
this has
been particularly
placed and
sealed with
mud rocks
everything else
you would find
in nature
to make a
fairly large
but solid
chamber
that many
people go in
and out of
to either
you know
talk to anybody
who is in
charge
feast in
general
with the rest
of the
basically
tribalistic
folk
that are
around
here
or
just for
any big
meetings
that they
can't
kind of
do
it is a
large
and impressive
structure
I probably
would call
it not
Sistine Chapel
tall but like
pretty tall
of what it
is because a
lot of people
will like
especially
leaders of
various bits
and parts
of this
place would
house up
in here
they would
like
in the
mentality
of a
bird's
nest
is probably
what I
would put
it
a lot
of big
feathers
yeah you
all see
this as
you're
approaching
I feel
like I
should
I don't
know
take my
hat off
in respect
or something
that's like
up to you
oh it's
fine
feels like
a holy
place
as the
greeting
way
teaches
us
that
in ways
of predator
or prey
that
you present
you can
present
yourself
to
towards
those
that you
see about
you
or you
try to
hide
the ground
slightly
shakes
ground
continues
to rumble
something
behind the
door
or
kind
of
grabs
on
like
the
Venus
arm
oh no
is that
good
what's
that
oh man
he's
coming
why'd
you say
that
who's
he
the door
is
the door
is shaking
that's
that's
my dad
your
how big
is your
dad
the door
opens
he's a
giant
like a
massive
massive
figure
who
has the
skull
of some
large
like
similarly
massive
creature
but
wears it
only as
like a
shoulder
embellishment
with fungi
popping out
of it
like a
like a
full
steel
shield
is nothing
more than
a buckle
on his
shoulder
he wears
what is
clearly like
tankard
kegs
as
bracers
these
long
beard
coming down
braided in
many forms
a belly
that is
likely the
size of
your entire
party
like crammed
together
and great
brown
eyes
that
stare
down
the
nostrils
of this
figure
let out
almost
gusts of
wind
which
eat
with each
breath
orin
my boy
give
daddy
a hug
this
immense
figure
just
grabs
orin
and
pulls
him
in
and
like
all
of
you
hear
the
distinct
crack
of
bone
as
orin's
like
delicate
bird
like
features
are
cracked
slightly
by
the
bear
hug
of
this
immense
giant
crushing
him
like
I
break
my
origami
chicken
yes
I
love
you
too
okay
I'm
going
to
keep
hugging
you
hello
orin
friends
I
make
a
fortitude
save
hi
how much
damage
do I
take
cool
well
that's what
she gets
the complication
first 20
and first
one of the
session
all right
well I'm
going to throw
this curveball
at you
I want to
pick this
one called
thirsting
hillman
by
orange
shirt
the
situation
I'll
actually
click it
here
and it
shows up
in chat
you guys
don't see
a chat
there you
go
complication
thirsting
hillman
the
situation
is
interrupted
by the
sudden
arrival
of a
hermit
who
dwells
in or
around
the
local
hill
or
approximate
equivalent
who
demands
that their
thirst
be a
literal
hydration
or
metaphorical
blood
thirst
to be
saved
color
okay
complication
all right
thanks
this is more
of a thirst
and complication
but you
know
yeah you're
punishing
thirsting
with this
one
it's fine
it's fine
it's fine
it's it's
it's cheater
complication
I'll allow
it
oh
please sir
I need
water
I need
oh
he turns
around
still clutching
or in his
orange face
turns purple
um
oh
you little
hermit
man
you've come
to the
village
for your
your
water
yes please
I would
like some
water
of course
the priority
is the
water
here
come
come with
me and my
son inside
you
you are
in friends
you wait
here
I'll be
with you
in a
moment
come on
Oren
still clutching
you in the
death glick
like pulls
you inside
all right
do you want
cold or
not as
cold water
oh you
need a cup
too
okay yes
of course
of course
yes yes
yes yes
yes
carrying
Oren like a
football the
whole time
yeah exactly
yes
yes
yes
his fucking
like neck
is just
like popping
I'll propose
something to
you I have
to keep
making
fortitude
saves I
keep taking
damage
oh
cracking
your
boat
he loves
me
yep
yeah yeah
give me
another
fortitude
save
all right
comes another
one
another
one
cool
oh my
god
you're
gonna die
this is
art
this is
art
this is
if only
Wayne June
were here
for injury
and despondence
can set the
stage for
heroism
or coward
I was about
to say man
I bet it
feels great
to have a
parent that
loves you
but at the
same time
I think
he's just
gonna kill
you
yeah
I thought
that's what
parents are
supposed to
do at
some point
don't worry
I mean
I've been
told that
having a
parent try
to kill
you builds
character
um
what the
fuck are
you talking
about
yeah
no your
parents have
never tried
to kill
you
yeah
my parents
were
architects
oh
oh my mom
tried to kill
me a handful
of times
growing up
no I know
that you
people have
issues with
your parents
I don't
you know
did your parents
try to kill you
I fucking love
my dad
oh
did he try
to kill you
yeah
oh yeah
well there you
go
so
for the
complication
the two
I have
kind of
queued up
aren't really
going to
fit well
so we're
going to
roll the
dice
I have a
buddy here
that should
just roll
a random
one
so good
luck
oh
okay
okay
okay
complication
by
hey
there's a
long name
your action
angles
oh my gosh
the dread
who are
spectral forms
that torment
you the torment
can be physical
or emotional
oh wait
no
you put it
wrong
you put
your name
where the
compli
yeah
you put a
complication
where your
name slot
that's weird
okay
anyway
it's suddenly
rats
whoever did
suddenly
rats
sorry
for some
reason
you're
you put
your
the name
there
I think
you miscite
where it was
regardless
suddenly rats
it's one of
rats to sit
upon you
crawling
everywhere
all over
you
this might
deal damage
or they might
just hamper
your movement
I would like
to propose
because he's
a giant
right
that rats
live in his
beard
and he's
hugging me
so
the rats
live in his
beard
by basically
supplementing all
the crumbs
that he gets
from his food
so they think
I'm food
oh no
okay
okay
yeah
I like this
oh my god
because it's
the print fail
so
yeah
one sec
one sec
one sec
I'm gonna pull
up the rules
for hazards
here
and I'm just
gonna use
the good old
simple hazard
damage table
I think
I think
that's gonna
be the
I think
that's gonna
be the secret
sauce of
doing damage
here
so just
one
one sec
as I
build a hazard
on the fly
that's gonna
damage you
there's crit
fail right
you said
because that's
one
awesome
my favorites
okay
cool
um
so
this is
uh
you know
I'll do a
level
appropriate
okay
um
cool
okay
yeah
uh
one sec
I have the
point for
everyone
as Oran's
taking damage
you see
Gorgrmunker
who's still
outside
like start
to
like twitch
and flash
you take
points of
damage
ouchies
hello
whoa
that's
that's
that's
more than
all the
blood in
my body
it's
true
hmm
I have
that many
left
oh my
god
oh
do I do
the roll
damage on
the first
time he
hugged me
no no
no we'll
consider that
like initiating
a grapple
um
yeah but
the rats
are now
in you
and chewing
on you
if you
can't get
your way
out
uh
after this
it's
good
it's
gonna be
bad
let me roll
again
oh of course
of course
of course
the water
yes yes
yes
let me
oh you're
going to
need a mug
for that
yes please
a mug
oh I
prefer black
mugs
if you
have them
they retain
much more
oh yes
of course
black mugs
yes
let me look
through my
shelves
oh my fingers
are so fat
that we get
one handed
he spills
some of it
and I begin
to drown
another
fortitude
yeah yeah
yeah
100%
100%
100%
he's waterboarding
you two
yeah
it's not a
one but
it's two
ones together
11 for
a total
of 35
you managed
to escape
the death
grip
finally
the water
providing
significant
like
lubrication
to sneak
out from
the hands
as it
spills
over you
I collapsed
out
I love you
dad
all right
here's your
water
thank you
and the
the wandering
hill man
sates their
thirst and
heads off
and drinks
whiskey
and then
we we
cut to
Oren's
immense father
exiting with
Oren in
tow
sorry about
that
hospitality
so important
yeah dad
you see
Oren
covered
in rat
wounds
is he
okay
what happened
did you
guys get
the fight
there
what
no
no
no
no
no
of course
no
no
no
no
no
no
no
no
no
no
no
no
no
no
no
no
no
no
no
no
no
with like vicious fucking red eyes like staring out so so thurston what you're saying is he pats
his giant beard and like a bunch of fleas coming off the back of a cat there are nothing but black
scary rats yes that sucks correct i'm sad correct uh oran as he comes out he kind of like makes a
hand motion a little bit and you see that gorgamonger tries to off he tries to hide away
oh come on wait what the what is that
gorgamonger rules stealth did not be noticed
yeah you can roll absolutely
oh i saw that one it's the ones are scaring me today at 12 or 12 31 for please
well i must be seeing things all right who wants another hug
oran looks at all y'all it's nice knowing you guys uh
i can take it or before we
before we get into the the hugs and the family reunions and this is all very sweet and wonderful
and you are a delightful man sir uh i believe we are here for a purpose right oran yeah oh
oh is it is it happening
it huh well i i'd always thought of this day when my son would return after leaving with a beautiful
beautiful girl in tow ah he looks so like like big eyes ah big eyes expected big eyes big eyes
expected he's like no no no she's a friend oh well then a a mad friend he turns to i don't know
i think one is i'm gonna wait for him what i would return the
look like he's so little uh uh that's fine i
Yeah, Houser kind of, like, raises his eyebrows.
A robot?
I'm the universe.
It's a small android.
Oh.
Oh, technically.
I'm a cyborg.
An android or cyborg people are people who, like, either lost body parts or let parts go, and they replaced it with metal parts.
Wait.
Wait.
The booming voice wants to get white.
It's even better.
I bet this one's going to be wrong, too.
No.
It's better.
You, bro, you found friends.
Oh, I'm so happy you found friends, Oren.
Come, tell me all about yourselves and why you're friends with my little boy.
Oren kind of waves you guys in, like, come on.
Oh, yeah, of course.
Hi.
Hello.
We're Oren's friends.
Hello.
Okay.
Again, since it's, like, Dragon Ball, I just assume that this guy is, like, the Ox King now.
He does strike that exact size, right?
I thought he was much larger.
I thought he was a hill giant.
Ox King's still pretty damn big, but...
I was imagining, like, you know, the king of hell, you know, him with his mahogany table.
Fair, fair, fair.
Oh, yeah.
Honestly, that's who I was thinking of, too.
I think it just got them mixed up.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
It's okay.
I don't care either way.
It's dragable.
Oren beckons everyone's in, like, come on.
Well, we might as well be comfy while we, you know, deliver the news.
And as he says so, and as, like, assuming they're walking in, Oren, like, kind of pats his dad.
Like, Dad?
Yes, my son?
Has everything been okay here?
I...
Everything is fine.
It's even better now that you're back.
Thank you, Dad.
But some of the other guys told me something about lizard men, and Mom went to go deal with them.
Who told you that?
They're liars!
Oren's kind of taken aback a little bit, and he's like, well, everything's fine.
We're going to have the festival.
Everything is fine.
But I ran here as fast as I could because I also saw something.
Everything is fine, my son.
He, like, leans down to your level.
Listen to Papa.
Everything fine.
Oren kind of nods, but then looks at the rest of his friends.
Oren was just shaking his head.
If there have been problems that would have impeded, perhaps, the festival in any way, really,
then we're adventurers of some repute.
We can help out, of course.
No, it's...
No, no, no.
It's...
Everything is fine.
You know how these guards get, my son.
They get a little, uh, scared.
There's a big bird, and they're like, oh, look at that big shadow in the sky.
Don't worry.
But I had a vision, Dad, and due to that, I rushed here as fast as I could.
Well, um, the vision wanted you to be at the festival.
It knew you had to come home to party.
But, Dad, the vision, I don't think horrible black goo and corruption in the forest being messed up is much of a festival, Dad.
It's fine.
The forest is fine.
Don't worry.
Okay, Dad.
That's good.
You're, like, inside the hall now.
So, again, you're in this sort of large wooden structure that's been bored out of immense trees that have been put on their sides,
uh, bored out.
There's, like, tables and chairs out of fine wood sort of lining around the area.
And you're being, like, ushered to sit.
Mr. Baldrick's...
No.
Oh, my God.
Mr. Oren's dad.
Mr. Baldrick's dad.
Could you please leave?
I haven't even done anything.
How did I get involved?
No, I'm sorry.
I'm Berdivar.
Berdivar.
That's a good, strong name.
Yes.
Berdivar.
Could I ask you a small favor?
Oh, you can ask me a big one.
I'm a big guy.
That's what we call a dad joke.
I'm full of them.
Would we speak to you alone for a bit?
Just us five and you.
Oh.
Oh, uh, okay.
Uh, uh, all right, Oren, go to your room.
No, no, no.
Oren, as well, can be here.
Oh, oh, okay.
Well, it's, it's the guards.
You can go, go patrol.
And I can look uneasy and then walk out.
All right, what is it?
My son's not paying you to be his friends, is he?
No.
No.
Okay, very good.
I was worried.
Oren's a delight.
We're just his regular friends.
Of course he's a delight.
He's my son.
And what a good son he is.
That's right.
He grabs you in another hug.
Give me a second.
Oh my God.
You've got to.
I do this to Roshi all the time.
True.
And eight.
He's more a total of 32.
You're like, you're held, but you're not grappled or crushed or anything.
Yeah, I am restrained.
Yeah.
I was like, I believe it.
Bedvar.
We have become Oren's friends as a group of mutual adventurers.
We have traversed the city of Outset and the greater world of Tyne in search of glory, revolution, change, and a myriad of other goals.
And in that time, we have come to be chosen.
We have great tasks before us regarding the elemental powers.
Papa Blaze, for instance.
Uncle Blaze?
That's what I said.
Okay, yes, of course.
Dude, I feel so fucking bad.
We're on session 300, and I still fuck up the names of the principal deities of the entire setting.
I'm such a rat.
We also have-
Sorry.
I mean, in fairness, we did kind of-
We did kind of-
We also kind of, like, let them die sort of halfway through the campaign because of what happened.
Yeah, that is true.
Now, in our adventures, Oren has proven himself as an adept druid and summoner.
And he has come to share our divine mandate.
If our adventure is unsuccessful, then the elemental powers will never return, and the world will become engulfed in rot.
Do you understand what I'm saying so far?
Yes, yes, I do.
Good, good.
I think.
Then you should know that the reason we have traveled here is that each of us have needed to complete a specific task in our home regions.
I was born in the Badlands of Golgotha, and Captain-
Oh, that place is a real shithole.
Oh, yo.
Yeah, it's pretty rough out there.
Our beloved Captain Vina has just finished putting to bed a bevy of pirate crews and other sorted scallywag scoundrel situations.
Where was that?
Up the mountains of Zandazia.
Yeah, I forgot the name.
Oh, that place is a shithole.
Yeah, it's kind of a shithole.
In both of these places, we have encountered great things of power, things in the sway of the rot.
And Orin, on cue, had one such vision of that exact same thing that led him here, which means that the rot is somewhere in the mountains.
And perhaps, you know, of course, I understand what you are saying now.
I must protect my boy.
Give me another fortitude.
I don't see, Tywin.
We're fishing for once today, aren't we?
Oh, no, sorry.
That's Gorgamonger's roll.
My bad.
Kill Gorgamonger.
There we go.
Ten for a total of 34.
That's not bad.
Okay, okay.
You continue to breathe normally.
Um, all right.
That's it.
I have to look after my son.
I can't trust you to go outside anymore.
Not with that kind of stuff.
Dad!
And it's not the lesson you deserve, Dad.
No, my little boy.
It will be fine.
He, like, pats you on your head.
Oren has been an incredible asset in this adventure of ours.
Your son, he's not just a little boy.
He's a hero.
He's saved countless people over the course of our journey
and battled, I mean, aspects of the gods themselves.
What did I tell you about battling the gods?
That was a lesson.
Dad, I won't, you know, whenever I have to fuck up Zeus sometimes.
No.
Why would you do this thing?
Well, well, Dad, I, uh, Oren's, like, you see that he's very guilty
even describing where he went because he was kind of hoping to be like,
oh, I just got lost, you know, type of feeling.
I didn't go anywhere.
I just got, you know, somewhere else on the continent here.
I didn't go on a globe-trotting adventure.
Uh, he kind of stupidly says, like, I met them all and outset the...
Outset his voice just is, like, even more booming.
That's, that's the biggest shit hole.
Outset his voice just is, like, I don't know.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We made it worse.
And I went there to...
Yes, you did.
Ball trick's just, like, that's my home.
No, no, no.
I was waiting for them to say, yeah.
And then Hulkie said, we made it worse.
And I said, yeah, you did.
And you helped.
I didn't want a thing to do with it.
Do you remember those people, Dad, that kept asking a bunch of questions and then broke in basically to the rookery at night?
Yes, the ones who took Gorka Munker.
I knew you were close, so you...
I knew you went after them, but I never thought they would go to outset.
Yeah, and Oren, uh, kind of sheepishly, he kind of looks to the door and he kind of sees Gorga Munker kind of, like, poking through the door a little bit.
And he goes, like, I did find him, Dad.
But, uh, Oren kind of, like, motions his hand and Gorga Munker walks in.
And he's, like, please don't be mad.
Please don't be mad.
Please don't be mad.
Please don't be mad.
This is the ultimate Dad moment.
Did you crush my dragon?
He looks at the dragon.
I don't know how Arendelle feels now.
We just present a serious moment and go to go for it.
Some fucker.
So, you know, I'm not complaining.
I'm not complaining.
I'm loving it.
No, I have resigned it.
If you're okay with it, I'm okay with it.
But it is very funny.
They basically told Thurgeon, like, here's, like, here's some stuff, but I don't want to really know all that much.
So, like, just fuck around with it.
Right?
So, have fun.
Because I don't want to know it.
So, I'm having a good time with it.
Don't worry.
It's okay.
It's just a piece of scale.
As long as you're okay.
Oh, my God.
That's what matters.
Okay.
Okay.
I'm going to, like, wait, wait.
Here's, like, here's Thurston Deep Lore.
Okay?
Okay.
Let me tell you about the time I was just starting to date to tell.
My father had just got a new van.
I was in my, like, I don't know, mid-early 20s.
I borrowed my dad's van after a family thing to go pick Jamie up.
And someone sideswiped this new van.
And it was new by, like, you know, a month.
And I call my dad.
And it's the first time I've been in, like, a real accident.
And, like, calling my dad.
And I'm like, no.
And my father, he's just like.
Because we'd been out for dinner in my family.
And my dad is like, well, don't worry, son.
It's just a piece of tin.
Now, my sister, who is, like, six years my senior, is in the car.
And she's like, what the fuck did you just say to him?
Because she remembered when she crashed the car one time long ago at an intersection.
And my father, who was like, what do you mean you crashed the car?
Now, this was, like, you know, ten years prior to this.
So, you know, my father was younger.
Like, we were younger kids.
My dad was like, what do you mean you crashed the car?
Where were you going?
And my sister was like, I was going to Dairy Queen.
And my dad was like, I had to get your ice cream, didn't you?
Piggy.
So, any time, any time.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, any time, any time, I will always just bring up the.
It's just a piece of tin to my sister.
It will fucking stare at me.
Anyway, so, it's just a scale.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
There, there, there's some, there's some, there's some deep, deep, thirsty lore there.
Oh.
That's, that's awful.
That is so funny.
I'm so happy.
It's just, it's just a piece of scale.
As long as you're okay, Oren, that's what matters.
But Oren, Oren is kind of like looking at his dad, but he's looking at his face because
in Oren's mind, he's like, he thinks he's going to be fucking mad because, because Oren,
like, as much as it's like, yay, Oren got his friend back, to do something like this
is an affront to nature.
Like, this is like, you took a dead soul and forced it back.
This is, you did not, you perverse nature.
Like, this is not cool.
Yeah.
Well, and, and, and it's very clear that whilst your dad recognizes this, he is, he is so
concerned about you in this.
Yeah.
Like there, there is just this element of like, you know, did you raise the dead?
Okay.
Are you okay?
Perfect.
And I don't really like, he is so focused on your safety in this, um, that like the guilt
you have is kind of your own guilt at this point.
Yeah.
And Oren will look up.
I'm giving you, I'm giving you a deep way to deal with this, Zorn, because it's not
like, it's not daddy is coming down on you now that you've like, now that you've kind
of like laid this out to him, he's like, oh, it's okay.
As long as you're okay, my son.
You're, you're not mad.
Why would I be mad?
You, you're my son.
You have to learn things clearly.
It is not what you wanted to happen.
Um, certainly is it the most ideal thing?
No, the ideal thing is you would have brought one of these back to Mary.
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, but, uh, you, you know what I get at it.
It's, it's, it's, it's, it's as long as you're okay.
What?
What?
What are you talking about?
Nothing.
Veena?
Rossi?
Are you revealing something right now?
No.
Okay.
Everyone wants the fucker who are.
They do?
That is true.
Tanhauser?
Yeah, Tanhauser does keep saying that.
Yeah, it's true.
Is there something you'd like to reveal?
No, it's just, it's the nature.
Have you seen him?
Mr. Huo puts a hand on Tanhauser's shoulder.
I want you.
No, it's just, it's the nature.
Have you seen him?
Mr. Huo puts a hand on Tanhauser's shoulder.
I want you.
Tara's butt is one.
Shut up.
I, I, I, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't hear your bit.
I'm so sorry.
What?
Ruhuo puts a hand on Tanhauser's shoulder, stares down at him in the eyes.
He goes real serious.
I want you.
I'm so glad.
Not again?
This is the greatest day of my life.
That's never happened.
Yeah, roll it back.
Roll it back.
Are we, are we, are we, are we, are we, are we, are we, uh, are we having fun, Chatter?
Aren't you glad that we got a two month break to build all of this into our system again?
him again hey guys you know what this we need to focus on what's going on please blood we're
getting no worries no worries we're just having a good time uh orna goes like dad like anyway just
like but still where's mom she should be here for the festival at least so
she went to the forest to get milk oh shit your mom's dead dude
not a beat miss like oh yeah no i'm gonna waste the time i'm gonna introduce you buddy
gotta get around with you champ yeah this ain't this ain't going well for you buddy
uh how long has she been out there out of curiosity
uh well you you know a little while a long while a while
how many days dad
well you see i kind of sit in here mostly so i don't see the sun as much um well
two maybe eight weeks eight weeks eight weeks yes the one time she was gone for two years
straight because she wanted to go see the mountains
what was that two days hey
have you not sent anyone dad
of course i have
have they come back
no
great i love these people
this is my favorite fucking place we've been to
we heart tree world like what is the society that bred oran here you go
um so if i may make a proposal of course you're one of oran's friends yes of course mr
you're warm um so call me bear okay mr bear so as you're making preparations for this
very important festival don't you think it would sort of harsh the vibe if oran's mother
wasn't also here
yeah it's totally not bad he sort of he sort of looks he's like you know
hey oran you know real quick could you go to your room and and get that map you had in there
uh you know your room that's at the opposite end of this hall could you could you walk there and get
yeah please tell me he has a race car bed
no what he has he has that uh that log car from wacky races
we'll hop down and of course with the distance he'll flap his wings a bit and
uh he'll start okay pitter pattering over he he's now left so as soon as as soon as he turns around
like and is like clearly out of your shot uh bared of our turns to all of you okay she's not getting
milk it's really bad i gathered that say it ain't so i know it's it it is so there's bad things going
on in the forest and those those guards i've sent they they've just sent their masks back
okay they did things to those masks unspeakable things
uh okay then don't you think it's imperative that somebody go and deal with this what do you think
i'm doing that's why the festival's happening well how is the festival gonna help because most of the
people here can't use their magics anymore what oh no oh no oh that's i see that's that's how
that's affecting this oh shit and that's why i can't leave because i'm the biggest do you think
the guys with their little pokey sticks are gonna work and those wings that they have to to fly in
the sky that's that's that's that's magic in their masks it's not like they can do that
like casting does like a hand gesture can do that when they want to okay so in that case i think it's
doubly important that we go and fix this that's the reason why we're here to but we have to do the
festival first if orange here it will make them all so happy it will be a bit of normalcy and then the
festival if it goes well maybe we'll help the powers to to break through and and grant us a
little bit of magic so that we can fight back against the lizards i have really bad news about
the old powers uh what do you mean i know you said you you you had some one of oran's make-believe
stories about oh you the the the powers are gone and whatever but but uh no no that is put on a real
banger festival things have gotten better uh no the old powers have been sealed away
who would do that a woman in outset named marlene has been hatching a plot for a very long time
time to seal away the old powers and to expand outset into their territory and throw everything out of
whack so we are making sure that we stop her we've already managed to get what we need from two of the
the old powers papa storm and uncle blaze why didn't they thought tell me any of this uh
you know i feel like a thon is busy
well i guess we can't use the the green waste to talk ever since whatever happened happened okay okay yeah
so what we need to do
we have not been affected by this personally our abilities are still intact
we can go and find oran's mom and while we do this we can find
what we came here for this place of power this we don't know what it looks like yet
but we'll know it when we see it all right now you know my son is a delicate flower he cannot know
that his mom is in danger he must think she's looking for milk
mr bird of our he looks pleadingly at all of you with like the biggest like pixar crying eyes
i if we had time i would regale you top to bottom with everything that we have done since your
son left home because your son is a lot tougher than you give him credit for
like a lot a lot tougher like we would not of course he's not a delicate flower we us four would not
be here without him he has gone through
an amount of hardship that would both break your heart and make you the proudest dad
on the face of time and would any of you add to that burden by telling him his mother could be
in mortal danger he'll want to rush out there and then then things could get worse no we have to
keep him here for the ritual it's the only way
it's tomorrow morning we just do the ritual yes as a um master of arcane um or perhaps uh i i'm sorry
i recently legendary arcane skill um i don't know if that's gonna come into play just yet
um i happen to be quite knowledgeable about things esoteric could i make some sort of role
to know what this celebration might do and if it would in fact work in any way to our advantage
um you know typically i'd say this more nature check because of what they're doing but i'll let
you do an arcana check just because you are so skilled at it you might have heard of like similar
types of things so yeah give me a thank you that's very kind of you let's see how i do
that is a 16 on the die for a 42. oh yeah yeah very nice yeah um okay so that is enough for you to to
realize um fairly fairly quickly i would say um that this type of ritual is is practiced by
some primal and religious organizations and also arcane organizations to effectively um
try to commune uh with a higher power so in the case of like arcane it might be some like
extra planner entity from you know the fundamental battlefield or something along those lines like
that would that would be well that would be more religion you might you might take some things from
from for like a variety of inter planner elements um it it can have some effect even when things are
are sort of knocked off now the problem is is that it like it's it's a connection point and any
connection point can often be fraught right like if it doesn't go well it could not go well in a
really bad way um so there's there's a little bit of back and forth on it but generally yes it could
be a huge help if it like it basically what you could tell is it would be enough to give them like
i don't know their spell slots back for a day type of a thing for many of the casters here
i see but none of them can cast magic anymore well yes so what it would be it could give them
like a day worth of spell casting so something to effectively defend themselves with whereas right
now they're kind of getting lower like the way it works even with like you know clerics if say your
god stops answering you you would keep whatever spell slots you had because that's inner charge to
you um but once like once you try to pray for more you won't get any um so theoretically like as
long as you're holding on to some spells and theoretically some of the primal casters here
held on to some of those spells uh but there probably aren't a lot left if it's been this long so
i will um i will raise my hand to speak
very polite thank you that's what they teach you in college now what you went to shut up are you a
wizard i am you looked like a wizard oh thank you i don't i get that more often than you'd expect
believe it or not now
now your celebration has a chance of returning some of your lost power to you you of all people
should know the relevance of our goal and task likely our quest is related to why you are losing
your power so if nothing else allow us and orrin to at the very least run some sort of security for
the celebration at least the lizard men decide to jump it and massacre the lot of you yes of course
you could yes of course but orrin can participate in the ceremony that would be important
um but the rest of you are strong of character hey oh thanks yeah my spidey sense just tingled
sure yours too how would i go about attempting to understand more maybe uh read this person's
intentions let's say uh yeah you want to know if they're going to like sacrifice orrin um sure sure
i want to know if this guy is secretly a rot cultist he's having his abram moment give me a nature or
religion check is what you're looking for here ah well it looks like orrin's gonna or sorry uh who
is gonna have to be the one to figure this out all right let's see what i got 15 on the dice for 18
not good enough can i uh can i attempt to deserve my spinal senses also yeah yeah as your as your single
eye narrows also i'd like to point out that during this like orrin found some old teenage ninja
ninja turtle toys in his room and he's like fuck yeah um
so me some the copyright dna's beauty
awesome the technodrome uh oh fuck 26
i'm not gonna give you a pity point for this instead like if you really want like
vena feels that this is an important role vena sitting on her mountain of hero points could
allow you to use one of hers oh of course anything for my good friend rahua thank you i
kneel at the altar of mount vena thank you thank you so much mount vena
i'm gonna roll the damn dice i'm re-rolling there you roll it
there you go oh much better 36 actually i think it would be like a 46 it's plus 10.
uh it's only if you're old low oh gotcha gotcha forget all right one sec one sec one second i'm
gonna gonna gonna dm you hulky oh cool i love these oh no i'm sure it's just to build up suspense for
the party yeah we get nothing but good news in this party yeah
you know our life has been so simple and easy it has been and it's gonna continue to be that way
you know there you go you know simple and clean is the way you're making me feel oh i see oh no gotcha
is that good there you go i mean there's the follow-up there's the follow-up is that good
you know what you know yes if you want to run security that's fine
that's you know what in fact we definitely don't need to be a part of it you're right
you omnipotence yes thank you so much for just extending that courtesy to us no problem you know
oren's probably found the teenage mutant ninja copyright i'm going to go find him i'll bring
him back absolutely remember don't explain what what's going on with his mother okay i'll be back
leaving you leaving you alone with the party okay so straight up that's he's a really cool guy that
that was a really good move on his part he respects us uh they fucking eat people here
yeah we know this yeah but the whole ritual they need to eat somebody specifically oren has
to be the one to eat somebody that's why he doesn't want us to be a part of it so we don't die
oh well that's cool that that's cool of him i mean the the whole cannibalism thing
uh less cool but i i you know i i feel like that's a little bit of the pot call in the kettle
after you just saw what kind of shithole my hometown was i mean like you are what you eat at the end of
the day and that's what makes them people it's what makes you an alcoholic damn it you're right
i'm not defined by what i eat do you eat sure you haven't he does eat this has been established
yeah i eat all the time i love it what do you eat you know like steak and waste i think it's very
interesting how's it we we've never been rich enough to afford steak you can't lie to me
yeah i guess i just i have the quiet taste for all those weird bugs that keep feeding us
oh you know the more i see of the outside world the more i am glad that all i have to do is depose a
corrupt policing body in my home city yeah oh they definitely eat people in outset though oh yeah but
it's not really yes yes i'm sure in the the plurality of cases yes but it's not cultural
it can be that's not let's make it so yeah all right doran show your friends the toys you've brought
i made these it's just like oh oh oh are turtles yeah oh here
you guys could have these and he gives you all each of the turtles by affiliation of your
character color thing like it's a blue or who gets yellow and henry gets red
i'll cherish this for the rest of my life and i would die for you you know that yellow turtle
was that socrates
or or and why why does mine look so much more evil than all the other ones oh that's
oh that's like holding up turtle
you put mascara on it yeah oh my god it's a scar
that's that's incredible this is it's awesome this is good copyright you know infringement when oren was
young he built whole stories about the turtles there's a whole background lore he even made a
war game about them yeah oh my god war turtle 30k
i mean this without exaggeration you saying that i immediately felt reflux
that was incredible how did you do that it's a good bit you do that one of my many one of my many
talents is making you a massive reflex how did you do this to me all right guys new goal if we if we hit
some i don't know zorn can determine an astronomical number zorn will write the rules for the the war
turtles war game oh i thought you were going to say he's going i thought we were going i thought you were
going to say zoran's going to get acid reflux yeah yeah oh
wonder oran turns to his dad he's like well uh do you need any help with the festival
yes yes yes i hope you have an appetite i have an i have an eight for a good while dad so i'm pretty hungry
perfect my boy perfect yeah yeah yummy face that's right
we'll we'll be going to the festival tomorrow morning tomorrow morning with that
we fade to black and that will be it for today's session
so chat everybody i hope you all had an absolutely lovely time thanks so much for the warm welcome
back everyone hope you guys enjoyed this episode rock round remember follow everybody and their
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absolutely lovely day and we'll see you next time goodbye goodbye goodbye everybody the sun is set