The Truth About Proverbs 31 | What Every Woman (And Man) Should Know | Proverbs 31:1-31

Show Notes

Episode 662: 
In this episode, Chris Zarbaugh and Kyle Daubenmeyer delve into Proverbs 31, starting with the sayings of King Lemuel, which are believed to be teachings from his mother. They explore the significance of these verses, particularly in the context of Lemuel's potential identity as Solomon, and how his mother's experiences may have shaped the wisdom shared in this passage.

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You're listening to The Bible Guys, a podcast where a couple of friends talk about the Bible in fun in practical ways. Well, good morning, everybody. My name is Chris and I'm Kyle, and we today are the Bible Guys. That's right, Kyle, you are a veteran of the Bible Guys. You've been here several times, at least one, at least three, at least three if you listen yesterday. I put my foot in the off because I didn't know how many times Quinn had been on a Bible Guy. But you have certainly been. I would say, besides Jeff and I, you're definitely the most frequent guest. All right, son, good? I take that part three. When I was when I was, when I was a pastor at a church and I wasn't the lead pastor, they used to say, hey, you're a junior pastor. That fun, right, You're a junior Binal guy. Dude, I've had it said to me before. We're like, like even when they becoming a campus pastor, people like, oh my gosh, you're finally a real pastor now. And I'm like, and you're like, when did that happen? Thanks? That i'd like you know this or not, but I've been a pastor. It's it's quite a while. Well, hey, so today a couple of things. Number One, Jeff's out of the country, so we're having a different Bible Guy's guest every day. It's gonna be great, man. I love this idea. Yeah, it's cool. And then secondly, I've got to throw this announcement. If you feel like it, join us for our very first invitational, this first time we've ever promoted this. But on April twenty fourth in the Inlay City campus at Heritage Church, we are doing a live Bible Guys event. So April twenty fourth, it starts at six o'clock. Just show up at the church, walk in and we're doing an actual recording of the Bible Guys in La City, which is a little bit north of where we are, about forty five minutes and it's gonna be cool event. And so if you want to, if you're in the area and you know us, and maybe you don't even go to Heritage Church, that's really cool, right, just show up. Yeah, it's kind of cool. Worth it. Oh, absolutely, that's greata. I think it'd be neat. So there you go buddy. And so we're gonna start with a segment. In fact, I call this the crazy Question segment all week. Gotcha? Gotcha? Okay, So here it is one of our regular Bible guys. Kyle is back today. Hi Kyle. Since he's been with us last he's become the pastor at our newest campus, which is our Stony Creek campus that meets in Stony Creek High School. So here's today's question. You're in charge of creating a new sport. What's the most bizarre combination of sports you throw together? What a crazy question? It seems kind of randomness. It is, it is, but honestly it's funny. I don't know if you've ever thought about this yourself. I don't know if i'd say combination wise. Something I think is so cool is my kids are big fans of Dude Perfect and Dude Perfect. They do this thing. It's called the Extreme Sports Golf Challenge. Oh yeah, you like this because you're a golfer as well. And what they end up doing is they'll so they like they like spin a wheel, and they for every every hit of a golf ball, the way they count the score, they're counting how many strokes they have. It's a different club, it's a different or sporting thing. So like they may draw and it's like a frisbee, So they throw a frisbee down the green. The next one they draw it into a soccer ball or it's a hockey shot, and so they're trying to go along. It's replacing the golf ball exactly. So it's not necessarily like a five iron. No no, no, no no, it's it's literally replacing using a different sport. So they've had different celebrity. They've had Baker Mayfield, they've had Tom Brady, They've had different people on there. I think Drew Brees was on one of them. And they do this I think they call it All Sports Golf Battle and where they combined different sports. I think that'd be actually fun to watch on TV. Oh I mean, but instead a new sport that's an existing sport. It's not well it's it's not a YouTube channel. Yeah, I would definitely steal it. How do we make that famous? And then the only other one I thought of before because I would love to watch is I think when you were growing up there you were watch like pros versus Joe's It was like it was like professional athletes playing. I'm watching Battle of the Network Stars prettybody fifty over. They're gonna love that joke. Yeah, I don't even know what that is, all right, exactly, but there's pros versus jos. They would have random people go compete against pros and sports. I would love to see a new version of that. Or I would love to see a crossover where, like you have professional athletes, current professional athletes playing other professional sports. I would love to see Lebron James play football or something like that, or or like Michael Jordan play baseball exactly. You should try that, you know what. That would be a good idea. Yeah, get him to play hockey. That'd be good. But it wouldn't be kind of fun to see that different different crossover sports. So yeah, anyways, that's very very cool. I'd pay money to watch that for sure. Yeah. Well, you know what, speaking of extreme things, okay, I think Solomon has written one of the most extremely famous passages for godly women and Proverbs thirty one. Wow, that's terrible, terrible. Speaking of sports, we can argue about who has the better wife today? What did you say better? I don't know, it's a bad You said, these are bad transitions to they were talking about a wife of noble character? Brother, okay, okay, yes, yes. I was like, I was like, where they where are we going with? Yes, hey man, better wife? You said, I know, you said, hey, let's have a bad transition. I'm like, all right, I'll let you know this about Jeff, But did you know that every time he wants to disassociate himself with a comment, he always says, oh no, did you know that? Oh yeah, yeah, and he looks at tv ye. So if I'll say something, he goes, oh no, oh no, and I'm like, I'm like, so I know I've said something bad, right because he doesn't want to be a part of it. So he says, oh no, So that's what I almost wanted to say. He said, why you're saying this guy. Is the better wife. I'm like, uh, oh no, where are we going with this guyle? No, but we're actually reading about that actually a wife of noble character. And I think that this was chosen in particular for you and I to read it together because I think there's some the person who planned this desert. I think she has a lot of respect for both of our wives. So that's it. That's a good thing, right, Oh, for sure, great thing. Or it could be that maybe you just happened to land on the day that we're right at probably thirty one. I like to assume that it was chosen, it has written. It's like the Claw the Toy story. I'm chosen. Yes, for sure. I had all sorts of you know, I have a thousand movie references, Like in every conversation. I mean, you said combining sports. I'm like, I almost said, you know, there's a movie about that. Oh Wilson and Jenny McCarthy and they called it basketball and they combined different sports and it was really a terrible, terrible, terrible movie. Not good, but it was terrible, which I just said four times. But yet that came to my mind because you say combining sports. I'm like, that's been done. Actually, yeah, said, I've never heard of it with those two actors in it. It's probably like nineteen ninety seven, ninety six. So it wasn't it wasn't memorable enough. Yeah, that's why I see how good I am. On the year I turned off my thing, we have to go about, hang onaball, what year did the movie Basketball come out with Jenny McCarthy. It's got me mid nineties, nineteen ninety seven. Look at that. Look at that? What it pro everybody wherever you're I give it up for Chris Oball movie buff All. Right, buddy, should we start reading here Proverbs? I think so? Yeah, thirty one Okay, time, So this is the sayings of how would you say this, King Lemuel? Yeah, so I've always read it Lemuele Lemule. Okay, but we can. Talk about that later because there's probably a good note on here. Yeah, because I grew up finding out about Lemuele. But you're probably right it's probably le Mule. Yeah. Well, there you go. We'll start in the Proverbs thirty one, verse one. The sayings of King Lemule contains this message which his mother taught him. Oh my son, O, son of my womb, Oh, son of my vows, do not waste your strength on women, on those who ruin kings. It is not for kings old Lemuel to get to guzzle wine. Rulers should not crave alcohol, but if they drink, they may forget the law and not give justice to the oppressed. Alcohol is for the dying, and wine for those in bitter distress. Let them drink to forget their poverty and remember their troubles. Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, and sure justice for those being crushed. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless and see that they get justice. And this next section is what I was referring to earlier with the sport about our wives bad joke. I apologize, yay, but. No, none of that. But oh no, I'm gonna wait you're done to talk about it, because I'm really excited to actually about the first. Couple of verses. But this next section is titled a wife of noble character as who can find a virtuous and capable wife. She is more precious than Rubi's. Her husband can trust her and she will get greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm. All the days of her life. She finds woolen flax and busily spins it. She is like a merchant's ship. Bring her food from afar. She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day's work for her servant girls. I bet you that's Liz way more than Kristen. The whole time, We're just going to tell you though. She goes to inspect a field and buys it. With her earnings, she plants a vineyard. She is energetic and strong, a hard worker. She makes her dealings, Oh sorry, She makes sure her dealings are profitable. Her lamp burns late into the night. Does lit's stay up late at night? No Kristen neither, so no zero zero on that one. Her hands are busy spinning thread, her fingers twisting fiber. She extends a helping hand of the poor and opens her arms to the needy. She has no fear of winter for her household, for everyone has warm clothes. She makes her own bedspreads. She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns. Her husband is well known at the city gates, where he sits with the other civic leaders. She makes belted linen garments and sashes to sell to the merchants. She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness. Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her. There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all. I love this ending here it says charm is deceptive and beauty does not last. But a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise. Yeah, it's one of the coolest proverbs that there is, right, Yes, And as we mentioned yesterday in the podcast, proverbs is generally just a bunch of wise things, most of the time thrown together, and you know, you know, written consecutively. But a single chapter or section may have thirty verses, and it may be twenty five different subjects, right, because there's usually a you know, a couple verses on the same subject, that kind of thing. But in this particular case, this whole chapter seems to be about one topic. Right now, different different characteristics of wives and a wonderful wife actually it's a godly woman. It's not a godly wife, but it does refer to her as a wife here, but it could be applied to all women. Right, And let me just say this before we even jump into this. This this doesn't go against like you think about twenty twenty five, people are so afraid to say that men and women are different. And I'm not talking about Christians. I'm talking about like the you know, in politics, you know what's socially acceptable, but you know, God made us very different. Yeah, And in the nineteen fifties, stigma of like, you know, woman's in the kitchen, staying home, barefoot, pregnant, raising kids. Well, that's not a good image. But if you think about it, everything about this thing, written you know, thousands of years ago has her as a good business womans right, doesn't have her home in the nineteen fifties with a blender. Yeah right. It just describes how unbelievably awesome a wife can be. And it feels to me like it's both agree. It feels like it feels like she's a woman and she's different than a man, and at the same time she has a role to play in the marriage, and at the same time she takes on all the ambitious things that women can and will do today. Yeah. Well, I love how it says she is clothed with strength and dignity, because a lot of times when you think of strength, you know, of course we want to think, oh, that must be describing a man. And I love this with the first point I actually had as well, agreeing with you, Chris, I think it's so cool with a high view of women that God has so many people. I talk to people a lot of times who have issues with the Bible because they feel like women are and I know you talk about this in the Bible guys a lot, but how they believe that the Bible is outdated and in its view of women. And it's so interesting because you don't see that with Jesus. Jesus had a very high view of women, the way he appeared to women at the tomb, the way his the first time he talked about being the son of God was to a woman. Well women, first first of the cross, first of the tomb. Yeah, it's incredible. And then a culture when that would just not was not socially acceptable in that culture has nothing with God but just that culture. Then you throw in something like this and you read it and this is a like a girl like you're saying, like a girl boss. Right here is who is respected, who is out like I said, going and making her own food, making her own you know, clothing, her family, her kids love her, her husband respects her, and is respected by others. And I just love that that. It's just this high view of women right there. So one of the things that I mentioned earlier was I said that verse number one king Lemule. So there's different theories on King Lemuele. In fact, there's a note here in the Life Application and Study Bible that says little is known about Lemule except the fact that he was a king who received wise teachings from his mother. His name means devoted to God. Some believe that Lemuel and a Gore were both from the kingdom of Massa and Northern Arabia. Now growing up, I also remember reading that King le Mule could also be a nickname for Solomon himself. Wow, and so and I remember, actually there's a pretty good amount of scholars that I believe probably lean toward that way as well. And but but again, because there's not a lot of information, we can only guess, right, we don't, We don't really know, that's the bottom line. But however, when I heard that some people think it could be Solomon, think about the lens in which Solomon writes this, Because don't you remember who was Solomon's. Mom was yeah, yeah, right. So what is David and Beshida Basheba best known for adultery in the scandal, So think about that through this lens. Oh, my son, son of my wombs, son of my vows, do not waste your strength on women who on those he ruined kings. Right, So that could be because it says the sayings of King the Mule contained this message which his mother taught him. Think about it. If it was Bestsheba, the mother of King the Mule, why would that not be one of the lessons that she would say. You know, hey, don't don't make the same mistakes we did, right, don't learn the hard way like we did. And so if you think about it that way, what a great parenting moment for Solomon, because it is it is then like it's not just wisdom, it's wisdom by experience exactly. You know. Another thing I love about this too is a lot of times I've heard people reference this verse and talk about and it can be a tough one to strive for, but I always use it as a way for especially like my daughters. Even so, one thing about I have a fourteen year old and a twelve year old daughter. And I don't know if you know you've known this or noticed this with the younger generation, but there's this really cool revival happening with young people that I think is a lot of people want to hate on the next generation. I won't be I know, you're not that way. I'm not that way. But I have seen this huge revival and young people actually actually reading their like reading their physical Bible like people walk. I was in there on the airplane a couple weeks ago and the some young seventeen year old bust I was Bible reading Romans on the Bible or in the plane. I'm like, wow, anyways, yeah, so we're just talking about Romans. He's a seventeen year old. I'm with, this is so cool. But so my daughters are in that same, you know, that younger generation, and they they they then their friends they'll buy like highlighters and highlight their Bibles. And so a few months ago I remember mentioning to my oldest I said, oh, you got to read Proverbs thirty one, and she just thought it was so cool. You know, the way God talks about women lifts them up. But I would say one of the things that stands out here, because sometimes you can read that and it can even be discouraging for some people because it's all these descriptions of these of a woman that maybe you feel like you don't live up to you you know, you're not quite there yet and whatnot. I just want to just encourage peable by like the last statement on here where it talks about about how charm is deceptive and beauty does not last, It's is true, but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. So basically just a reminder, like as a summary of this whole thing, is that all the things you're striving after, especially in our culture, which is beauty a lot of times, and power and fame and you know maybe money or love even to be accepted, all those things are fleeting. But it's a woman who fears the Lord. I think that's such a beautiful goal, right. Yeah, yeah, you know there's actually time and I'm talking about like when I was very young, right, like you know, when I before I was married, these kinds of things. But it's probably still true today because you can say a woman's attractive and not not have that not be a negative thing, right, But but but it's always been true for me in my life, where when you and I think it's true for actually I think it's true for everybody. But let's point out the fact that when when you meet somebody and if they're not a nice person, they become uglier. It doesn't matter how good looking they are, right, we all know that. But then when you meet when you, when you when you you know, you interact with somebody and they're just a godly woman, it's like, it's almost unbelievable how much more they become attractive. And I mean even in the attractive sense, like when I was younger, when I was sixteen or seventeen or something like this, I would be like, oh, my goodness, she's way more attractive because she's you know, godly, And it is true. But you know, but respectfully, it's it's true no matter what. I think all of us can agree with that. Yeah, you know what, you know, I think it be fun. So let's go through like verse number ten, through the end of the chapter, and let's try to just sort of use a adjective to summarize what Solomon is saying. Like, for instance, so he says, who can find a virtuous and capable wife, she's more precious than rubies. And so I would just say, here's what Solomon is saying. She's valuable, right, extremely valuable. Right. And then and then you know, you go down. You know, she finds wool and flax busily spinds it. I would just say, Okay, she's a hard worker yep, yep, resourceful, yep, resourceful, right, that's good resourceful. What else? Yeah, So then let's go sixteen and she goes to inspect to feel them buys it with her earning. She plants a vineyard. That right there. I mean, shoot, that is somebody who's independent. Sure, independent, I would say that that means she's wise, right, she's she's business savvy yep. Right, and she's entrepreneurial yep, absolutely right. I mean that's that's crazy yep. I like the eighteen em And she makes sure her dealings are profitable. That's again going to resourceful. The lamp burns late into the night, so kind of going hard working again. But this is somebody who isn't idle. She's not sitting around waiting for life to happen. Yeah, she's diligent yep. She's faithful yep. And these are great, great, great adjectives. Her hands are busy spinning thread her fingers. Yeah, it's kind of thing. She extends helping hand to the poor and opens her arms in the needy. That's a great one right here. That's passionate. Yep, compassionate, that's great work. Yeah. Yeah. She has no fear of winter in her household, for everyone has warm clothes. Well, what does that mean. It means she's, uh, she's a planner yep, right, yep, so she is. She's a forward thinker. She is wisdom beyond her years. Right, So she's not going to get, you know, accused of not thinking ahead for caring for her family. I think twenty three is interesting. Her husband is well known of the city gays, where sits with the other civic leaders. So it's this idea that she, you know, in a way, she's taking care of her household. She's respected almost because her husband is respected as well. Well. I'd like to think of it as because Proverbs thirty one is describing the woman and if her husband is well in the city gates, I'd like to think that that's actually a byproduct because of. Who she is. Right, So, you know, they always say behind every good man's a good woman. True, So I would say that then that way, I would say she's humble, right, wanting her husband to be well known. She's supportive, right, So those are great things. Yeah, and I mentioned this earlier, but twenty five says she's clothed with strength and dignity. She laughs without fear of the future. Isn't that cool too? She laughs without fear of the future. Yeah, there's some confidence to her. Well, she doesn't worry. Yeah, so she's confident. Yeah, she doesn't worry, which probably also means she has strong faith, trust in the Lord, trust in you know, who God made her to be because of everything that she's doing running her household. Yeah, when she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness, So that means she's incredibly relational along with her wisdom, So she doesn't just have wisdom and she barks it out with you know, authoritarian, you know, do this because I'm mom. Because I said so, It says she gives instructions with kindness in her roles. Absolutely, this is great. And then twenty eight her children stand and bless her, her husband praises her. So she's just just a well respected and I think it seems like the people around her, closest to her, who met her most know her. And still it's not like she's putting on a front. She is that person to others and to her family, which is great. Those who know you best, When those who know you best and they know the worst side of you. Yes, if your children can stand and bless you, and your husband praise you, that is that means through and through. Yes, she's a good woman, right exactly. There are many virtuous and capable women of the world, but you surpass them all. So she is. She is again praised. I can't even tell you this is a strange comment to make, but you know I always you know, in my business, in your business, sometimes we do funerals, right, and so oftentimes when I do moms. One of the things that I love to hear about a mom if the deceased is a is a mother, which you know most most women are. I interview the children and I cannot even tell you. I cannot even tell you. It's almost every time they will say she was the best mom in the world. And I always think to myself, that's the way it should be, right, I think in a lot of ways. I think my mom's the best mom in the world in some categories, and we should all think that. And I think my wife is the best mom in the world. And so it's and my kids would probably say that. And and so that idea that her children stand and bless her, her husband praises her, and then they say, there are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpassed them all. That's what the husband and the child say. And the reason why we know that it's in quotes. There's a colon and then there's quotes there. This is how they praise their mom and their wife. They're saying, you're the best above them all. And then amazing, Ye, it's so good, it's so good. And then to end here, the ending of the verse says Charmer is acceptive. Beauty does not last. But a woman who fears the Lord. So I think with this one, I mean as far as word, the woman who fears the Lord is to be will be greatly praised. This one is just I think, fear the Lord, or faithful, faithful to the Lord, faith with her husband. But hey, because just because of time, I want to throw one more thing out since I'm the guest Bible bye, I was thinking about this, Yes, yes, yes, you know one thing I'll to throw on. I don't know. I don't know if this is the same for you. I think when you and Liz met, you guys started dating pretty quickly, correct, right, dating pretty quickly, right right on you. You and I both got married at a young age, just twenty one years old. You were twenty or twenty twenty one, okay, both twenty one. And it's interesting because people will come to me sometimes because I've done young adult minister and still have the you know, privilege of being around a lot of young people, and they asked me my thoughts on getting married. Go ahead say it. You're still in your thirties. I'm in my fall, dude, I'm pushing. I'm pushing forty, bro. But so know what I would say is, uh, sometimes people ask me that, And even though I got married young twenty one, I don't always. I don't think it's a one size fits all thing where it's like, oh, you for sure should look out. It's worked out for me, you know that sort of thing. I think, at the end of the day, one thing that helped me a ton, And I'll give this advice really to anybody, is I think it's really wise to be friends with somebody, like to really get to know somebody, really get to be before you make that lifelong commitment, to actually see them in the good and the bad. And one thing that happened with me and Kristen when I met her, she put me in the friend zone for like the first year. Like I didn't want anybody to know this, but I liked her for sure, but I'm sure I didn't. It wasn't as cool as I thought. I was about holding it down, but I was in the friend zone. And so I got to see her, you know, in restaurants where she wasn't trying to win me over, and the way she talked to servers, right. I got to see her in situations where she was stressed or when you know, school was hectic and whatever, and it wasn't like she was on a date with me trying to put her best self forward and vice versa. Like she really got to see me in all circumstances with my family, with my friends, with her family, with her friends, And I think it actually helped a lot to really make this lifelong decision to commit to this partner right, And I think in this day and age, one thing I I would advise against. Although I think dating apps can be great in a lot of ways. I'm sure you've done a bunch of weddings. I know I have where people have that on dating apps. I think it's a great thing because I think in many ways you're cutting to the chase. Right. It can be, But at the same time, I think the one negative would be that oftentimes you meet people who when they go out on that first date and it's a dating app. The whole point here is Christians meeting each other to find their special one is they almost put on a front sometimes and they kind of put up this picture of who they want the other person to believe that they are, which may not be accurate. And so I would just encourage people to like, really get to know the person that you are dating, really take your time, and really make sure that this is like when you read a verse like this, like proverse thirty one, does that describe this person? And then I'd say, for ladies in the same way, is this the type of person you strive to be in the type of husband who can match that and can really compliment you in that. So reading this, I was just thinking about a lot of people I know who are in that single phase trying to figure out their next step. Yeah, well that's great. In fact, that's our time. That's a great closing thought, and what a great chapter honestly, right now, thanks for having me, buddy, thanks for being here, and we'll join you next time, hopefully with a brand new guest. That's on the Bible. Guys,