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Life by Design is a podcast that shares the experiences and tools to help couples align their wealth goals and reclaim their time, enabling them to experience freedom, abundance, and a life by design.
Jessilyn Persson (00:00)
Welcome to the Life by Design Podcast, where Jessilyn and Brian Persson struggling to align your financial goals or confidently invest in real estate as a couple.
Brian Persson (00:18)
That's why we created this podcast and the Riches Relationships and Real Estate program to help you build wealth and strengthen your relationship. Visit weekendwealth.ca to take our quiz and discover your real estate investor type. Let's create the life you deserve together.
Jessilyn Persson (00:35)
In today's world, it's easy to get caught in the grind, chasing success, meeting deadlines, and pushing harder every day. But what happens when the constant hustle starts costing us our health, happiness, and clarity? In this episode, we're diving into the real connection between stress, burnout, and financial well-being, and how to design a sustainable wealth plan that supports your life instead of draining it. Because true wealth isn't just about the numbers in your bank account. It's about energy,
peace and purpose that lasts. So today we want to talk about a few different ideas and share stories of what we've been through because we definitely have experienced some of this throughout our lifetime and ⁓ we realized the cost of what it took to our health and we want to share that with our audience.
Brian Persson (01:23)
Right. You've experienced burnout. ⁓ I've experienced ⁓ many different symptoms of burnout, maybe not quite burnout in the health way that you experienced it. But we definitely are experienced with ⁓ what sometimes not paying attention to yourself, whether it's emotionally or financially or when it comes to your health can cost you when you're kind of asleep at the wheel and you're not really taking care of yourself.
Jessilyn Persson (01:52)
Yeah, so the hidden cost of hustle. That's the first one we're going to touch on today. How stress and burnout, it can derail your financial goals and you sometimes don't even realize it til it's too late. Nope. You know, this is big myth, especially here in ⁓ Canada, probably the States and some other countries where the grind culture, you just got to go, go, go, go, go, go, go, you know, put in 10 hours, 12 hours a day and thinking you can do that onward and upwards for
decades on end and are not realizing when you're young and full of energy, you can do it, but you don't realize what that's doing for your future body.
Brian Persson (02:31)
Yeah, we talk a lot about the choose your heart. Yeah. So you can choose your heart as in you can work out today so that you don't have to be going to the doctor every other day when you're older. That's one of those ways that you can choose your heart. ⁓ Eat healthy today so that you don't have to deal with all the health issues that you would be experiencing later on in life. And you can also manage your time and your energy today so that you don't have to
experience the stresses that would have caused you in that burnout scenario.
Jessilyn Persson (03:06)
Yeah, that's tough. ⁓ Manage, you know, you say your time, your deliverables, but if that's not how we're raised and how we're taught, that's a hard lesson to try and learn and I know that because that's...
That's how I grew up on the farm. Like it was always go, go, go. My mom to this day, almost 70, still go, go, go. Even though her health isn't there to support her to do that, she tries and does not connect the dots that when she's suddenly out for three weeks, several times a year, if she maybe didn't push as hard during those other times, she wouldn't be down as long. And I mean, I had that. I had that until my burnout in 2019.
And I can't say I don't default, I do. You know, this year I had a lot of stacked deliverables come my way and lot of asks from work and took me a little time to realize that I lost my boundaries, I'd let them go. And I had to learn to kind of push back and the funny thing is...
The one I had to push back on was me. wasn't my clients. It was me thinking I had to deliver more, more, more, more, more. And you were the one who had several conversations with me to say like, Jess, like, whose expectations are these? Are they yours or are they actually your clients or your bosses? And I'm like, yeah.
Brian Persson (04:33)
Yeah, I hate to break it to everybody, but more often than not, the source of all your problems is you. Yeah, and in your case, Jess, you were, as you said, you went to the default of your way of being. Yeah. And that is, I must have everything done and I must have everything perfect. And for me, looking in from the outside, going, no, you...
Jessilyn Persson (04:40)
It's true.
Brian Persson (05:03)
you have five different roles, like you basically have five different full-time jobs and the people around you know that you have these roles, like they have to come back, they also have to come to reality along with you in that five full-time jobs, all having to get done at the same time is not possible. so, so ultimately you tried to deny that.
Jessilyn Persson (05:27)
Because I'm superhuman.
Brian Persson (05:28)
Yeah. And it started to affect your health and then you're like, okay, wait a minute, wait a minute. Is there a different way that I can be in order to actually achieve what I want to achieve? And you did discover that. And sometimes that looks like maybe not doing the same thing that you did before. You know the saying, if you want to achieve something different, you have to do something different.
Jessilyn Persson (05:53)
Yeah. And I'm definitely going to touch on some of those ⁓ takeaways and things I had to learn. ⁓ I think a little bit more in the third point of this discussion, ⁓ because yeah, it is not easy, but coming back to the hidden cost of hustle. I mean, there are practical ways to pause and realign, you know, whether it's rest goals, you know, or downtime, personal time, whatever you want to call it. I know.
Mums in particular struggle with this concept, especially even working moms, because now they're working full time during the day and being a mom can be full time as well. Getting kids to school, sports, planning at all, appointments, doctors, know, dental, all that stuff and taking care of the house, the groceries, the cooking, the cleaning. Like it's a full time job. And then you're working a career full time as well. And never mind the volunteer that women tend to do. We we just go, go, go, go until we just
burnout and we don't think to put half an hour on a Sunday away from every hour. Yeah, sorry. I half an hour. I'm at half a day. I'm at half a day. Um, uh, not necessarily on a Sunday. It could be two hours on a Saturday, but like to do something we enjoy. And I know for years I carry the guilt of like, I can't do that for me. And I got to spend time with my husband. I got to spend time with my, boys. And then I just learned like, Nope.
Brian Persson (06:57)
more than half an
Jessilyn Persson (07:17)
I am a better human being all around when I step away and do something I enjoy just for me, whether it's reading a book. You know, we always hear, read a book, take a bath, meditate. And those are all great things. But if you just like to go peruse and shop somewhere for a couple of hours, go to a coffee shop with a girlfriend, if you like to bake or if you have a hobby, a craft you like to do, that's you time. Take it.
Brian Persson (07:41)
There's many different ways to fulfill yourself for sure. they don't have to look like sitting on the couch and staring at a wall to try and get some air quotes rest. more often than not, the rest that you're looking for is not intentional either. So you're, you end up reactively saying, basically just having a fit and saying, that's it, I'm done. And like, I'm not doing this anymore. And then like, you rest. But that's very
close to burnout like it's you you just mentally broke before your brain actually broke and and so like you're you have made the conscious decision to stop but like again it's reactive you need to have intentional rest and i mean i'm bad for this you know it's way too easy to just say what's next what's next what's next right and you're just looking for the next thing to to get done and then you forget to like for me play minecraft with my kids you know
and you forget to go on a bike ride or a walk or whatever you want to do that's intentional. And unless you set that time intentionally, it basically will never happen. And the reward and the rest that comes with the intentional setting of that time is significantly more valuable than if you just reactively try to find some rest somewhere.
Jessilyn Persson (09:04)
Yeah, and be okay with owning your time and saying no within that frame. So if you book time, a great example. The other day I was reading and you came in because you're looking for some cable and to connect my computer and my monitor that we bought five years ago. And I'm just looking at you kind of like in my head and going, I'm reading. And I didn't say anything and you're like, do you know where it could be? And so I recommended a couple of spots. You're like, I looked there and I could tell you were determined to find this thing. Finally, I looked at you and I'm like, I will look for it.
Tomorrow I am reading. Yeah, you got the hint you left it you let me read but right like a lot of times We will actually be like, we'll feel obligated. Okay, I'll get up and I'm gonna start looking around for this thing And it's like no you intentionally set time to read to relax It was it was right before bed So it was later in the evening and as long as you know, you're fulfilling it either way because the next day I did I you know, we we brought up the conversation like what is this thing? you need me to look for kind of thing and where could it be and but
Just own that if you took a space and it's yours, anyone who interrupts it, let them kindly know that it is your time. You will help them when your time is done.
Brian Persson (10:13)
Yeah, you need to protect the space that you've created. And on the front end of that, you need to protect the ability to make that decision as well. So it's too easy for you to feel guilt and it's too easy for you to say like, well, you know, I don't know what this is going to look like if I take some time off or if I do this thing for myself. We're really hard on ourselves generally. And it's very, very hard for us to like actually intentionally
purposely take that time off to get that rest that we need because Maybe we feel like we're gonna look bad if we do that. Maybe we feel like You know that space could have been used for something productive. Well, guess what like you if you can get twice the amount of productivity Outside of that rat like with after the rest that you've actually successfully got then guess what you you just earned the time back
Jessilyn Persson (11:06)
Yeah, exactly.
Brian Persson (11:07)
But if you're producing half as much because you're exhausted and you're tired and you can't get the work done, then you're in a deficit.
Jessilyn Persson (11:16)
Yeah. And so rolling into the second takeaway, designing a sustainable wealth path. So we talk a lot about real estate and money and wealth from that form. But I'm not sure we...
We always talk, I mean, we do definitely loop in some ideas of values, but the money that aligns with your life, your values and your mental health. And we talk about why we do what we're doing and our purpose behind it to give us the lifestyle we want for us and our kids and our family. ⁓ But we also know part of that is our mental health because of what we've been through. Right? There's a link between mental wellness and financial.
confidence, financial well-being. if individuals can understand that, they will just progress so much further, faster. And I don't mean like hustle faster speed. I mean like you're giving yourself the space for your health while building your wealth.
Brian Persson (12:17)
Yeah, I mean a good recent example of that ⁓ is I think it was a few weeks ago now I was just you know there was just thing after thing after thing and I'm just busting through all these things that I have to get done and I literally did not have time to think for myself in some cases and there was this one particular rent issue on one of our buildings
that I needed to solve and I had absolutely no free time in my head to think about this. And then that sudden, I went on a drive, it wasn't a very long drive, but I didn't have any music on, I didn't have any podcasts going like I would normally have, and I had probably just 20 free minutes to think and let my brain just wander. And I came up with a solution in that 20 free minutes.
And it was because my brain actually had the ability to just go and slow down for a second. then boom, solution came. And the previous three to four weeks of me just in the grind and getting the next thing done and the next thing done and the next thing done gave me absolutely no mental space to be creative and think of new ideas and come up with the ultimate solution I needed for that rent problem I was experiencing. ⁓
Jessilyn Persson (13:36)
Yeah, I'm a firm believer ⁓ that if you just go go go go go go you're actually working harder because if you take breaks you're right creative ideas come and and other ideas come where you can sometimes solve two or three problems in one idea because you actually took the space to think it through as opposed to bulldozing and not really understanding maybe the full outcome of all of it. So yeah, definitely take breaks.
whatever you're doing and when you're feeling that overwhelm, it's time to take a break.
Brian Persson (14:09)
Yeah, and from my own personal experience, ⁓ social media is not a break. Games on your phone are not a break. There's a place and a time for them, but you really, truly need to have a break away from electronics, a break away from...
Jessilyn Persson (14:15)
It is not a break, ugh.
Brian Persson (14:29)
TV and movies, you need to go out like you were saying earlier and connect with friends or go to a coffee shop and just be amongst people if you need to. Like whatever that looks like to you to just literally maybe take a walk in nature. Like just, just do something that is outside of what you normally do that is not involved with electronics because your brain does not take a break when it comes to electronics.
Jessilyn Persson (14:55)
Yeah. And ⁓ so there are some things we've done definitely in our household. Putting in some simple systems which help money management like long-terms, which helps the stress, the anxiety, the thought of it. And something as simple as automations, right? Yeah. Like automatically having your bills paid out of your bank account. You don't have to think about logging in, paying it, all these extra things that take up space.
in your everyday that you can just reduce can just help give you that extra time to think. And again, we've already talked a little bit about boundaries. Have boundaries for everything in your relationship with your kids, with your boss, with your colleagues, with your friends, whomever have boundaries and stick to them. And then of course, know, intentional spending. This is a good one. This is one I think far too far, far, far outweighs ⁓
if you can actually put it in place and too many people I think don't. So putting a plan in place, which we have, and again, like everyone, sometimes we fall off off the wagon or derail from what our plan might be.
Brian Persson (16:05)
things happen yet. Yeah. You gotta have a plan for that too.
Jessilyn Persson (16:08)
Yeah, but if you have a plan and you keep to it, it gives you more time and more energy because you're not thinking about the plan. You know it. You just got to do it when it's got to be done. But there's little tricks that I know I use and I think we've talked about it. You might have even given me the idea. But like when I'm to go buy something, it's like, do I need it or do I want it? And if I don't need it.
I need to really assess and be okay with no, right? Just, no, I don't need it. But if I really want it, then step away. Take a 24 hour break or two, three day break. And we've done this with our oldest who really wanted, I can't remember, some Lego set. And he wanted a couple of these and I'm fine. I was like, okay, I know what they are.
Brian Persson (16:55)
It's always LEGO.
Jessilyn Persson (17:00)
But sit on it. You're gonna sit on it for a couple of days. And he was just itching. He was upset. He wanted it so, so, so bad. And then a couple days later, I brought it up. I'm like, okay, do you still want this? Actually, mom, no, I changed my mind. I'm like, mm-hmm. Teaching him that sometimes you need to wait because in the excitement of the moment, we can buy stuff we don't need. And then it's like, ⁓ crap.
Sometimes you can't return some of it and then you're you have to deal with sometimes the guilt of like I shouldn't have bought that or I didn't really have the money or that wasn't a good use of the money right so taking those little Breaks to see do you really want it and the need the needs a good one because I grew up on a farm right with not a lot of money and so We bought everything on sale. So I have this mindset that when I go shopping like I gotta buy it on sale. Yeah
And I'd be like, wait a minute, do I actually need it? Or am I spending more money because I'm buying it just because it's on sale? I don't know if remember, you probably do, but first how many years here, we had our pantry stacked, our basement freezers stacked. And now I don't do that so much because I was just being like, well, it's because I do cook a lot, but it was on sale, I have to buy it.
Brian Persson (18:10)
They're still pretty full.
Jessilyn Persson (18:14)
And now I'm like, no, I don't because the odds are when I actually need it, it'll be on sale again in three months.
Brian Persson (18:19)
Yeah,
yeah. And sometimes as you pointed out the other day, you can get tricked in the sales too. Yeah, yeah. Package of tacos for two for $7 and you pointed out that the larger package was actually cheaper than the sale package. Yup. Oh my God, crap. I didn't even look at it. All I looked at was the sale. Sometimes even then you still have to be...
logical and consistent in your thinking. Yeah. And for me, that's bigger than emotional spending is just getting consistent with your spending. When it comes to our personal finances, when it comes to our rental finances, that's one of the main reasons why I love rentals is because the expenditures are so consistent. The business plan behind them
is I always know I'm going to have about this much money coming in and I always know I'm going to have about this much money coming out or going out. And we treat our personal finances the same too. Like we always know we got about this much coming in, this much is going out. And I don't ever have to look at the bank account and go, ⁓ well, this month, do I have enough money in there? Like, did I overspend this month? Because everything day to day and week to week is really, really consistent in our spending. ⁓
And so we don't, I don't have to think about it. And I know there are other real estate investors out there and I try to stray them off this path, but they will like, they will review every energy bill and every invoice that comes into their portfolio before they pay it. And I'm like, that is crazy. You need to just have a plan to pay the energy bill and know that your energy bill is always going to be about this much, much money.
and then just automate it. So you never have to think about it. If at the end of the year, you want to adjust things, then adjust them at that point, but create the new plan at the end of that year and be consistent with the new plan for the next year. Right. Yeah. The amount of time and energy that I save that would have burnt me out trying to get in all that extra administration in my personal life and in our real estate portfolio.
Man, don't even, I can't, don't think I can even calculate the amount of extra energy and effort it would take me if I hadn't created the plan and just worked the plan. ⁓
Jessilyn Persson (20:49)
Yeah, no, that absolutely makes sense. And the third takeaway we're going to talk about and the one I said I was going to come back to earlier in this podcast, reset and rebuild. Like, I mean, you can reboot your energy and finances at any stage. And we learned this as we noted several times in 2019 when I had severe burnout where I couldn't even work for three months. It's like, well, firstly, there's a hit. There's a hit to your finances because there was zero income coming in, at least from me. I mean, you were still working. So so we were OK.
But I wouldn't have been able to work. I was bedridden, right? So, and these are things we can't plan for. I didn't plan for it. I had no idea this was even going to happen, right? Lesson learned. ⁓ But now that I know it and you know it, we can recognize our burnout symptoms early. Emotional, physical, financial. If I reflect back to that time, 100%. Right? I wasn't, I was working 50 hour weeks. I have no clue what...
our kids did in that time because I wasn't really present. I was stressed all the time and I do remember asking my bosses for support several times and they kept telling me no. I knew it was all there. I just didn't take steps to protect my health.
Brian Persson (22:01)
And ⁓ it can also look like laziness and procrastination or distraction. ⁓ Chances are if you feel that, just, you are spending way too much energy trying to do two little things and you're just falling into that, I'm going to call it like a lack of clarity and purpose. once you've...
because you really just don't know what you're working towards. And so when you don't know what you're working towards, you will procrastinate on what you're working towards. And you because you don't really understand what what the final goal is. So get Claire, get get clarity on your purpose and what you're actually doing with your life, your finances and everything else, because you will find it is so much easier to work towards it when you actually understand and have.
a clear vision on where you're going.
Jessilyn Persson (22:58)
Absolutely. And some other symptoms that I can speak to that you wouldn't maybe relate is hair loss, weight loss, irritability, fatigue, exhaustion, snapping at anyone and everyone. I experienced many of those things and then it got to the more severe points of ⁓ headaches and migraines and nausea. But I had the hair loss and the weight loss for some time before
And I didn't think anything of it. was like, oh, no, no. Yeah, yeah, I've lost a few pounds and lost a few pounds. And one of the neighbors like, like, no, you've lost a lot. And I'm like, so I hopped on the scales like, oh, whoops. Right. Like it's you just you're not paying attention to and you just go, go, go. It doesn't help. But so how does this set some sustainable work and income boundaries? Like, know that enough is a power word and we don't use it enough. I don't use it enough. But some great ways that I've
started implementing in with my contract with my ⁓ clients is what's enough, right? So there's always more work. know that. But if, say, your goal or what you committed to is eight hours a day, when your eight hours is up, I need to look at it like, OK, I still have more on my to do list, but that's it. Cut it off and don't go back. I used to like go back to my computer and then I'd work two more hours before bed. Right.
But it's like, I don't need to. Like if it isn't due and critical, you don't need to do overtime. Just keep that to-do list handy and as you go through it, if there's stuff on your to-do list that's from a week ago, assess whether you actually need to do it. Maybe you don't. Just check that thing off and be like, nope, you're a no-go. I don't need to bother with you.
Brian Persson (24:46)
Yeah, more often than not, a lot of stuff on your to do list is not critical and not important. It just, it's just on your to do list. but you know, really consider what is on your to do list and what is actually critical and what's important and what is not critical and not important.
And it is a trick and you'll need some practice to segment that in your mind where you can just like drop the things that are not critical and not important and not think about them because that I'm sure that's a problem for everybody here is that we just have these things running through our head and it takes practice to make sure that you can dump that and not actually think about it ⁓ where it won't actually be eating up all your mental resources.
Jessilyn Persson (25:30)
Yeah, and be okay to delegate. That's what I know I sometimes struggle with at work. I mean, there are tasks that might be on your to do list that someone, one of your colleagues can do. Give it to them. It's okay if you give it to them as better. Actually, I think it's even better because you don't have to worry about it. same with with at home, right? Because I know there's times where I'd like, ⁓ working like eight, nine hours and then like, my God, I got to go make dinner and I got to blah, blah. No, I don't.
with the strike going on right now, I'm really learning to relax and get my boys to start making lunches or making dinner. And yep, it might be the same thing over and over and they're okay with it because that's what they can cook. But you know what? That stress isn't on me now to prep, plan and cook and make sure they're fed. It's on them. And that gives me space to either finish the work I was doing or take a mini break for me through my day to be able to have a clear head for the afternoon or the evening, right? Same with like household stuff. Now it's like,
Nope, boys, you're old enough to do all the dishes, not just load and unload the dishwasher. You can wash, dry, put away. I don't care. You can do it, right? And just letting them do it, knowing that it might be a little bit of learning, but they'll get it and they'll get it done. And then it's work you and I don't have to do later.
Brian Persson (26:42)
Yep. Yep. And all you got to do is get through that guilt usually that you feel. Yeah. And then, and you'll get there yet.
Jessilyn Persson (26:50)
Alright, I'm going to talk about the most important takeaway from what we discussed today. I'd say mine is true wealth includes energy, peace and time. It's incredible when you can be in a space where you're healthy and you're calm and you're just at ease with life. It's not always just about the money.
Brian Persson (27:13)
For me it is creating clarity and purpose so that when you're working it doesn't feel like work.
Jessilyn Persson (27:20)
Thanks so much for tuning in. Listen for more real estate investing stories in the next episode of a Life by Design podcast.
Brian Persson (27:27)
Before you go, don't forget to visit weekendwealth.ca to take our quiz and discover what type of real estate investor you are. We release new episodes every two weeks, so be sure to hit that subscribe button on your favourite podcast app. Thank you for joining us on this journey to create your life by design.
Jessilyn Persson (27:45)
Thanks again for listening. It's been a pleasure being with you today.
Brian Persson (27:53)
you
Jessilyn Persson (28:07)
Welcome to the Life by Design Podcast, where Jessilyn and Brian Persson struggling to align your financial goals or confidently invest in real estate as a couple.
Brian Persson (28:24)
That's why we created this podcast and the Riches Relationships and Real Estate program to help you build wealth and strengthen your relationship. Visit weekendwealth.ca to take our quiz and discover your real estate investor type. Let's create the life you deserve together.
Jessilyn Persson (28:42)
In today's world, it's easy to get caught in the grind, chasing success, meeting deadlines, and pushing harder every day. But what happens when the constant hustle starts costing us our health, happiness, and clarity? In this episode, we're diving into the real connection between stress, burnout, and financial well-being, and how to design a sustainable wealth plan that supports your life instead of draining it. Because true wealth isn't just about the numbers in your bank account. It's about energy,
peace and purpose that lasts. So today we want to talk about a few different ideas and share stories of what we've been through because we definitely have experienced some of this throughout our lifetime and ⁓ we realized the cost of what it took to our health and we want to share that with our audience.
Brian Persson (29:30)
Right. You've experienced burnout. ⁓ I've experienced ⁓ many different symptoms of burnout, maybe not quite burnout in the health way that you experienced it. But we definitely are experienced with ⁓ what sometimes not paying attention to yourself, whether it's emotionally or financially or when it comes to your health can cost you when you're kind of asleep at the wheel and you're not really taking care of yourself.
Jessilyn Persson (29:58)
Yeah, so the hidden cost of hustle. That's the first one we're going to touch on today. How stress and burnout, it can derail your financial goals and you sometimes don't even realize it til it's too late. Nope. You know, this is big myth, especially here in ⁓ Canada, probably the States and some other countries where the grind culture, you just got to go, go, go, go, go, go, go, you know, put in 10 hours, 12 hours a day and thinking you can do that onward and upwards for
decades on end and are not realizing when you're young and full of energy, you can do it, but you don't realize what that's doing for your future body.
Brian Persson (30:37)
Yeah, we talk a lot about the choose your heart. Yeah. So you can choose your heart as in you can work out today so that you don't have to be going to the doctor every other day when you're older. That's one of those ways that you can choose your heart. ⁓ Eat healthy today so that you don't have to deal with all the health issues that you would be experiencing later on in life. And you can also manage your time and your energy today so that you don't have to
experience the stresses that would have caused you in that burnout scenario.
Jessilyn Persson (31:13)
Yeah, that's tough. ⁓ Manage, you know, you say your time, your deliverables, but if that's not how we're raised and how we're taught, that's a hard lesson to try and learn and I know that because that's...
That's how I grew up on the farm. Like it was always go, go, go. My mom to this day, almost 70, still go, go, go. Even though her health isn't there to support her to do that, she tries and does not connect the dots that when she's suddenly out for three weeks, several times a year, if she maybe didn't push as hard during those other times, she wouldn't be down as long. And I mean, I had that. I had that until my burnout in 2019.
And I can't say I don't default, I do. You know, this year I had a lot of stacked deliverables come my way and lot of asks from work and took me a little time to realize that I lost my boundaries, I'd let them go. And I had to learn to kind of push back and the funny thing is...
The one I had to push back on was me. wasn't my clients. It was me thinking I had to deliver more, more, more, more, more. And you were the one who had several conversations with me to say like, Jess, like, whose expectations are these? Are they yours or are they actually your clients or your bosses? And I'm like, yeah.
Brian Persson (32:40)
Yeah, I hate to break it to everybody, but more often than not, the source of all your problems is you. Yeah, and in your case, Jess, you were, as you said, you went to the default of your way of being. Yeah. And that is, I must have everything done and I must have everything perfect. And for me, looking in from the outside, going, no, you...
Jessilyn Persson (32:47)
It's true.
Brian Persson (33:09)
you have five different roles, like you basically have five different full-time jobs and the people around you know that you have these roles, like they have to come back, they also have to come to reality along with you in that five full-time jobs, all having to get done at the same time is not possible. so, so ultimately you tried to deny that.
Jessilyn Persson (33:33)
Because I'm superhuman.
Brian Persson (33:35)
Yeah. And it started to affect your health and then you're like, okay, wait a minute, wait a minute. Is there a different way that I can be in order to actually achieve what I want to achieve? And you did discover that. And sometimes that looks like maybe not doing the same thing that you did before. You know the saying, if you want to achieve something different, you have to do something different.
Jessilyn Persson (33:59)
Yeah. And I'm definitely going to touch on some of those ⁓ takeaways and things I had to learn. ⁓ I think a little bit more in the third point of this discussion, ⁓ because yeah, it is not easy, but coming back to the hidden cost of hustle. I mean, there are practical ways to pause and realign, you know, whether it's rest goals, you know, or downtime, personal time, whatever you want to call it. I know.
Mums in particular struggle with this concept, especially even working moms, because now they're working full time during the day and being a mom can be full time as well. Getting kids to school, sports, planning at all, appointments, doctors, know, dental, all that stuff and taking care of the house, the groceries, the cooking, the cleaning. Like it's a full time job. And then you're working a career full time as well. And never mind the volunteer that women tend to do. We we just go, go, go, go until we just
burnout and we don't think to put half an hour on a Sunday away from every hour. Yeah, sorry. I half an hour. I'm at half a day. I'm at half a day. Um, uh, not necessarily on a Sunday. It could be two hours on a Saturday, but like to do something we enjoy. And I know for years I carry the guilt of like, I can't do that for me. And I got to spend time with my husband. I got to spend time with my, boys. And then I just learned like, Nope.
Brian Persson (35:04)
more than half an
Jessilyn Persson (35:24)
I am a better human being all around when I step away and do something I enjoy just for me, whether it's reading a book. You know, we always hear, read a book, take a bath, meditate. And those are all great things. But if you just like to go peruse and shop somewhere for a couple of hours, go to a coffee shop with a girlfriend, if you like to bake or if you have a hobby, a craft you like to do, that's you time. Take it.
Brian Persson (35:48)
There's many different ways to fulfill yourself for sure. they don't have to look like sitting on the couch and staring at a wall to try and get some air quotes rest. more often than not, the rest that you're looking for is not intentional either. So you're, you end up reactively saying, basically just having a fit and saying, that's it, I'm done. And like, I'm not doing this anymore. And then like, you rest. But that's very
close to burnout like it's you you just mentally broke before your brain actually broke and and so like you're you have made the conscious decision to stop but like again it's reactive you need to have intentional rest and i mean i'm bad for this you know it's way too easy to just say what's next what's next what's next right and you're just looking for the next thing to to get done and then you forget to like for me play minecraft with my kids you know
and you forget to go on a bike ride or a walk or whatever you want to do that's intentional. And unless you set that time intentionally, it basically will never happen. And the reward and the rest that comes with the intentional setting of that time is significantly more valuable than if you just reactively try to find some rest somewhere.
Jessilyn Persson (37:11)
Yeah, and be okay with owning your time and saying no within that frame. So if you book time, a great example. The other day I was reading and you came in because you're looking for some cable and to connect my computer and my monitor that we bought five years ago. And I'm just looking at you kind of like in my head and going, I'm reading. And I didn't say anything and you're like, do you know where it could be? And so I recommended a couple of spots. You're like, I looked there and I could tell you were determined to find this thing. Finally, I looked at you and I'm like, I will look for it.
Tomorrow I am reading. Yeah, you got the hint you left it you let me read but right like a lot of times We will actually be like, we'll feel obligated. Okay, I'll get up and I'm gonna start looking around for this thing And it's like no you intentionally set time to read to relax It was it was right before bed So it was later in the evening and as long as you know, you're fulfilling it either way because the next day I did I you know, we we brought up the conversation like what is this thing? you need me to look for kind of thing and where could it be and but
Just own that if you took a space and it's yours, anyone who interrupts it, let them kindly know that it is your time. You will help them when your time is done.
Brian Persson (38:20)
Yeah, you need to protect the space that you've created. And on the front end of that, you need to protect the ability to make that decision as well. So it's too easy for you to feel guilt and it's too easy for you to say like, well, you know, I don't know what this is going to look like if I take some time off or if I do this thing for myself. We're really hard on ourselves generally. And it's very, very hard for us to like actually intentionally
purposely take that time off to get that rest that we need because Maybe we feel like we're gonna look bad if we do that. Maybe we feel like You know that space could have been used for something productive. Well, guess what like you if you can get twice the amount of productivity Outside of that rat like with after the rest that you've actually successfully got then guess what you you just earned the time back
Jessilyn Persson (39:12)
Yeah, exactly.
Brian Persson (39:13)
But if you're producing half as much because you're exhausted and you're tired and you can't get the work done, then you're in a deficit.
Jessilyn Persson (39:23)
Yeah. And so rolling into the second takeaway, designing a sustainable wealth path. So we talk a lot about real estate and money and wealth from that form. But I'm not sure we...
We always talk, I mean, we do definitely loop in some ideas of values, but the money that aligns with your life, your values and your mental health. And we talk about why we do what we're doing and our purpose behind it to give us the lifestyle we want for us and our kids and our family. ⁓ But we also know part of that is our mental health because of what we've been through. Right? There's a link between mental wellness and financial.
confidence, financial well-being. if individuals can understand that, they will just progress so much further, faster. And I don't mean like hustle faster speed. I mean like you're giving yourself the space for your health while building your wealth.
Brian Persson (40:24)
Yeah, I mean a good recent example of that ⁓ is I think it was a few weeks ago now I was just you know there was just thing after thing after thing and I'm just busting through all these things that I have to get done and I literally did not have time to think for myself in some cases and there was this one particular rent issue on one of our buildings
that I needed to solve and I had absolutely no free time in my head to think about this. And then that sudden, I went on a drive, it wasn't a very long drive, but I didn't have any music on, I didn't have any podcasts going like I would normally have, and I had probably just 20 free minutes to think and let my brain just wander. And I came up with a solution in that 20 free minutes.
And it was because my brain actually had the ability to just go and slow down for a second. then boom, solution came. And the previous three to four weeks of me just in the grind and getting the next thing done and the next thing done and the next thing done gave me absolutely no mental space to be creative and think of new ideas and come up with the ultimate solution I needed for that rent problem I was experiencing. ⁓
Jessilyn Persson (41:43)
Yeah, I'm a firm believer ⁓ that if you just go go go go go go you're actually working harder because if you take breaks you're right creative ideas come and and other ideas come where you can sometimes solve two or three problems in one idea because you actually took the space to think it through as opposed to bulldozing and not really understanding maybe the full outcome of all of it. So yeah, definitely take breaks.
whatever you're doing and when you're feeling that overwhelm, it's time to take a break.
Brian Persson (42:16)
Yeah, and from my own personal experience, ⁓ social media is not a break. Games on your phone are not a break. There's a place and a time for them, but you really, truly need to have a break away from electronics, a break away from...
Jessilyn Persson (42:22)
It is not a break, ugh.
Brian Persson (42:36)
TV and movies, you need to go out like you were saying earlier and connect with friends or go to a coffee shop and just be amongst people if you need to. Like whatever that looks like to you to just literally maybe take a walk in nature. Like just, just do something that is outside of what you normally do that is not involved with electronics because your brain does not take a break when it comes to electronics.
Jessilyn Persson (43:01)
Yeah. And ⁓ so there are some things we've done definitely in our household. Putting in some simple systems which help money management like long-terms, which helps the stress, the anxiety, the thought of it. And something as simple as automations, right? Yeah. Like automatically having your bills paid out of your bank account. You don't have to think about logging in, paying it, all these extra things that take up space.
in your everyday that you can just reduce can just help give you that extra time to think. And again, we've already talked a little bit about boundaries. Have boundaries for everything in your relationship with your kids, with your boss, with your colleagues, with your friends, whomever have boundaries and stick to them. And then of course, know, intentional spending. This is a good one. This is one I think far too far, far, far outweighs ⁓
if you can actually put it in place and too many people I think don't. So putting a plan in place, which we have, and again, like everyone, sometimes we fall off off the wagon or derail from what our plan might be.
Brian Persson (44:12)
things happen yet. Yeah. You gotta have a plan for that too.
Jessilyn Persson (44:15)
Yeah, but if you have a plan and you keep to it, it gives you more time and more energy because you're not thinking about the plan. You know it. You just got to do it when it's got to be done. But there's little tricks that I know I use and I think we've talked about it. You might have even given me the idea. But like when I'm to go buy something, it's like, do I need it or do I want it? And if I don't need it.
I need to really assess and be okay with no, right? Just, no, I don't need it. But if I really want it, then step away. Take a 24 hour break or two, three day break. And we've done this with our oldest who really wanted, I can't remember, some Lego set. And he wanted a couple of these and I'm fine. I was like, okay, I know what they are.
Brian Persson (45:01)
It's always LEGO.
Jessilyn Persson (45:07)
But sit on it. You're gonna sit on it for a couple of days. And he was just itching. He was upset. He wanted it so, so, so bad. And then a couple days later, I brought it up. I'm like, okay, do you still want this? Actually, mom, no, I changed my mind. I'm like, mm-hmm. Teaching him that sometimes you need to wait because in the excitement of the moment, we can buy stuff we don't need. And then it's like, ⁓ crap.
Sometimes you can't return some of it and then you're you have to deal with sometimes the guilt of like I shouldn't have bought that or I didn't really have the money or that wasn't a good use of the money right so taking those little Breaks to see do you really want it and the need the needs a good one because I grew up on a farm right with not a lot of money and so We bought everything on sale. So I have this mindset that when I go shopping like I gotta buy it on sale. Yeah
And I'd be like, wait a minute, do I actually need it? Or am I spending more money because I'm buying it just because it's on sale? I don't know if remember, you probably do, but first how many years here, we had our pantry stacked, our basement freezers stacked. And now I don't do that so much because I was just being like, well, it's because I do cook a lot, but it was on sale, I have to buy it.
Brian Persson (46:17)
They're still pretty full.
Jessilyn Persson (46:21)
And now I'm like, no, I don't because the odds are when I actually need it, it'll be on sale again in three months.
Brian Persson (46:26)
Yeah,
yeah. And sometimes as you pointed out the other day, you can get tricked in the sales too. Yeah, yeah. Package of tacos for two for $7 and you pointed out that the larger package was actually cheaper than the sale package. Yup. Oh my God, crap. I didn't even look at it. All I looked at was the sale. Sometimes even then you still have to be...
logical and consistent in your thinking. Yeah. And for me, that's bigger than emotional spending is just getting consistent with your spending. When it comes to our personal finances, when it comes to our rental finances, that's one of the main reasons why I love rentals is because the expenditures are so consistent. The business plan behind them
is I always know I'm going to have about this much money coming in and I always know I'm going to have about this much money coming out or going out. And we treat our personal finances the same too. Like we always know we got about this much coming in, this much is going out. And I don't ever have to look at the bank account and go, ⁓ well, this month, do I have enough money in there? Like, did I overspend this month? Because everything day to day and week to week is really, really consistent in our spending. ⁓
And so we don't, I don't have to think about it. And I know there are other real estate investors out there and I try to stray them off this path, but they will like, they will review every energy bill and every invoice that comes into their portfolio before they pay it. And I'm like, that is crazy. You need to just have a plan to pay the energy bill and know that your energy bill is always going to be about this much, much money.
and then just automate it. So you never have to think about it. If at the end of the year, you want to adjust things, then adjust them at that point, but create the new plan at the end of that year and be consistent with the new plan for the next year. Right. Yeah. The amount of time and energy that I save that would have burnt me out trying to get in all that extra administration in my personal life and in our real estate portfolio.
Man, don't even, I can't, don't think I can even calculate the amount of extra energy and effort it would take me if I hadn't created the plan and just worked the plan. ⁓
Jessilyn Persson (48:54)
Yeah, no, that absolutely makes sense. And the third takeaway we're going to talk about and the one I said I was going to come back to earlier in this podcast, reset and rebuild. Like, I mean, you can reboot your energy and finances at any stage. And we learned this as we noted several times in 2019 when I had severe burnout where I couldn't even work for three months. It's like, well, firstly, there's a hit. There's a hit to your finances because there was zero income coming in, at least from me. I mean, you were still working. So so we were OK.
But I wouldn't have been able to work. I was bedridden, right? So, and these are things we can't plan for. I didn't plan for it. I had no idea this was even going to happen, right? Lesson learned. ⁓ But now that I know it and you know it, we can recognize our burnout symptoms early. Emotional, physical, financial. If I reflect back to that time, 100%. Right? I wasn't, I was working 50 hour weeks. I have no clue what...
our kids did in that time because I wasn't really present. I was stressed all the time and I do remember asking my bosses for support several times and they kept telling me no. I knew it was all there. I just didn't take steps to protect my health.
Brian Persson (50:06)
And ⁓ it can also look like laziness and procrastination or distraction. ⁓ Chances are if you feel that, just, you are spending way too much energy trying to do two little things and you're just falling into that, I'm going to call it like a lack of clarity and purpose. once you've...
because you really just don't know what you're working towards. And so when you don't know what you're working towards, you will procrastinate on what you're working towards. And you because you don't really understand what what the final goal is. So get Claire, get get clarity on your purpose and what you're actually doing with your life, your finances and everything else, because you will find it is so much easier to work towards it when you actually understand and have.
a clear vision on where you're going.
Jessilyn Persson (51:02)
Absolutely. And some other symptoms that I can speak to that you wouldn't maybe relate is hair loss, weight loss, irritability, fatigue, exhaustion, snapping at anyone and everyone. I experienced many of those things and then it got to the more severe points of ⁓ headaches and migraines and nausea. But I had the hair loss and the weight loss for some time before
And I didn't think anything of it. was like, oh, no, no. Yeah, yeah, I've lost a few pounds and lost a few pounds. And one of the neighbors like, like, no, you've lost a lot. And I'm like, so I hopped on the scales like, oh, whoops. Right. Like it's you just you're not paying attention to and you just go, go, go. It doesn't help. But so how does this set some sustainable work and income boundaries? Like, know that enough is a power word and we don't use it enough. I don't use it enough. But some great ways that I've
started implementing in with my contract with my ⁓ clients is what's enough, right? So there's always more work. know that. But if, say, your goal or what you committed to is eight hours a day, when your eight hours is up, I need to look at it like, OK, I still have more on my to do list, but that's it. Cut it off and don't go back. I used to like go back to my computer and then I'd work two more hours before bed. Right.
But it's like, I don't need to. Like if it isn't due and critical, you don't need to do overtime. Just keep that to-do list handy and as you go through it, if there's stuff on your to-do list that's from a week ago, assess whether you actually need to do it. Maybe you don't. Just check that thing off and be like, nope, you're a no-go. I don't need to bother with you.
Brian Persson (52:51)
Yeah, more often than not, a lot of stuff on your to do list is not critical and not important. It just, it's just on your to do list. but you know, really consider what is on your to do list and what is actually critical and what's important and what is not critical and not important.
And it is a trick and you'll need some practice to segment that in your mind where you can just like drop the things that are not critical and not important and not think about them because that I'm sure that's a problem for everybody here is that we just have these things running through our head and it takes practice to make sure that you can dump that and not actually think about it ⁓ where it won't actually be eating up all your mental resources.
Jessilyn Persson (53:34)
Yeah, and be okay to delegate. That's what I know I sometimes struggle with at work. I mean, there are tasks that might be on your to do list that someone, one of your colleagues can do. Give it to them. It's okay if you give it to them as better. Actually, I think it's even better because you don't have to worry about it. same with with at home, right? Because I know there's times where I'd like, ⁓ working like eight, nine hours and then like, my God, I got to go make dinner and I got to blah, blah. No, I don't.
with the strike going on right now, I'm really learning to relax and get my boys to start making lunches or making dinner. And yep, it might be the same thing over and over and they're okay with it because that's what they can cook. But you know what? That stress isn't on me now to prep, plan and cook and make sure they're fed. It's on them. And that gives me space to either finish the work I was doing or take a mini break for me through my day to be able to have a clear head for the afternoon or the evening, right? Same with like household stuff. Now it's like,
Nope, boys, you're old enough to do all the dishes, not just load and unload the dishwasher. You can wash, dry, put away. I don't care. You can do it, right? And just letting them do it, knowing that it might be a little bit of learning, but they'll get it and they'll get it done. And then it's work you and I don't have to do later.
Brian Persson (54:47)
Yep. Yep. And all you got to do is get through that guilt usually that you feel. Yeah. And then, and you'll get there yet.
Jessilyn Persson (54:54)
Alright, I'm going to talk about the most important takeaway from what we discussed today. I'd say mine is true wealth includes energy, peace and time. It's incredible when you can be in a space where you're healthy and you're calm and you're just at ease with life. It's not always just about the money.
Brian Persson (55:16)
For me it is creating clarity and purpose so that when you're working it doesn't feel like work.
Jessilyn Persson (55:23)
Thanks so much for tuning in. Listen for more real estate investing stories in the next episode of a Life by Design podcast.
Brian Persson (55:30)
Before you go, don't forget to visit weekendwealth.ca to take our quiz and discover what type of real estate investor you are. We release new episodes every two weeks, so be sure to hit that subscribe button on your favourite podcast app. Thank you for joining us on this journey to create your life by design.
Jessilyn Persson (55:48)
Thanks again for listening. It's been a pleasure being with you today.