Open to What Is

Enter into courtship with disruption.

What is Open to What Is?

This isn’t the podcast I was supposed to create.

I had something polished and impressive in mind.

This is more interesting.

You should listen to it.

A bit of background:
I’d already committed to publishing a daily podcast when I got (very, very, very) sick with Long (very, very, very long) COVID.

So, I had a choice:
I could give up, or I could keep my commitment and include my constant exhaustion, fever, foggy-brain, relentless cough —and do my best.

I chose the latter.

My “best” varies quite a bit according to how well or poorly I feel on a given day.

The episodes are raw, out of order, unedited, with uneven audio quality, You’ll often hear my Pekingese, Bija barking in the background.

Sometimes I talk to myself, sometimes I talk to you. Sometimes I have no idea who I’m talking to. It’s a true potpourri.

And it’s not just overhearing me wax poetic through a stuffy nose about new insights and the insufferable discomfort of upended plans. There’s more!

In between the fragments of thought, feeling, and utter nonsense, is a timely and universal story about expectations, meaning making, dropping all agendas, and discovering what’s possible when we Open to What Is.

Tune in.
Sample a few episodes.

See if you can drop all expectations and allow yourself to be surprised and delighted by something you didn’t know you were looking for.

Okay so hello before we start just take a moment I'm going to join you wherever you are whatever you're doing pause check in with your body check in with your breath notice how are you doing right now I'm feeling a little bit fragile that's okay whatever you notice I invite you to include that in this practice want to talk about inconvenience irritation disturbance the little bumps and detours interruptions that seem to get in the way of our beautifully orchestrated visions about the way things are supposed to go - and not just the actual interruptions, irritations, detours and conveniences but the possibility of interruptions and detours and irritations and inconveniences.... and the ways that we can sometimes preemptively brace ourselves against just the potentiality of these things getting in the way.

what I've noticed with myself is that things I've mentioned I'm neurodiverse and I have a relationship with time and with an organization that is at odds with with most of the way the world works and so I notice I often feel protective fiercely protective have my time because I want to make sure I can get everything I want to get done done. I want to make sure you can stay on track. What I've noticed is that over the years I've become less less flexible less less spontaneous less willing to go with the flow because as I've managed to crowd out the little and big interruptions and conveniences little bumps and detours and I've taken more and more control orchestrating the way my world works naturally my life has gotten a little smaller and I'm on heightened guard against those potential disruptions what's really interesting is that disruptions come they come in a lot of shapes and sizes and packages many of which are alive in our own minds certainly in my mind my imagination distraction getting sick where worry I started getting curious about what it would look like to enter into a courtship with disruption when with inconvenience, irritation and so on to to seek it out on purpose to dance with it just didn't come easily it does not come easily what I noticed I I'm curious if any of you try this or have tried this I'd be curious to hear your experience what I noticed was that as soon as I went inviting those things that I had maybe once labeled problematic changes to my plans trying to think of all the ways that I or all the things that I've labeled disruption, there have been so many right now. I can't think of them and maybe it's because I built up such a wall that everything was a disruption I got so rigid. But what I started to do was I just expected nothing would go like I planned, but not in like a woe is me. Now then goes like I've had poor me. Believe me, I've done that. Not like that. More like, Okay, I have no idea what's going to happen today. I have no idea how this process is going to unfold who I'm going to meet how I'm going to finish this project. what it's gonna look like I just got much more flexible I'm open about my expectations and what I found was so much easier to be delighted with whatever happened and I liked being with myself a lot more it was easier for me to be present with other people and I was much less as much less aggressive with myself much less prone to bracing myself for not falling in line and fortunately I rarely fall in line the way I think I'm supposed to. So it was actually quite a release a relief and a release to open up into a new way of being with my plans just invite you to think about where you might be deciding ahead of time what you will and will not tolerate what is and what is not acceptable what you're able to handle and not able to handle and all of these ways that I think we are so well intentioned to take care of ourselves or you know, organize and structure our world just to notice that and to recognize that maybe you know maybe there's just as much lost as his game because the state of reality is this is always this dance between order and chaos you know, it's a synthesis between the two. But trying to plan away structure away. Uncertainty is just a recipe for frustration and misery. And you know, when someone that you have to coordinate with on something has a totally opposite schedule to yours or when I don't know your kid has a playdate with someone that lives in an inconvenient neighborhood or whatever there's a chance to be delighted and surprised by that opportunity to break out of your rhythm routine shaken up a little bit, broaden your horizons or just be delighted for its own sake because you decided to be help that was a benefit. Check back in notice how you're feeling anything changed since we started the practice judgment just noticing and I to invite you to dedicate the practice something that really really pisses you off because it's inconvenient, maybe someone on TV, you can connect to a genuine feeling of appreciation for the way that they are that person stretches you and opens your eyes, your heart, your world in ways you might not otherwise open thank you so much for being here. I'll see you on the next one.