She Went on Tinder in Nigeria and Here’s What Happened | Just My POV

In this episode, we dive deep into how social media shapes the way people view relationships, especially in Lagos. Our guests talk about how their Instagram feeds often give off the wrong impression and how men sometimes assume too much just from pictures. They share real stories about dating, including the pressure, judgment, and stereotypes women face simply based on how they look online.

What is JUST MY POV?

Just My POV is a raw, real, and refreshing talk show where a millennial aunt and her Gen Z nephew go head-to-head on everything—love, money, culture, gender roles, and the messy parts of growing up in two different worlds.

They don’t always agree.
They don’t hold back.
But they always keep it real.

Each episode dives into the generational gap, the clash of values, and the moments that spark deep reflection—or full-blown arguments.

It’s not about who’s right.
It’s just their point of view.

Do you feel like using social media to get a relationship is in a way better than having to meet people oneonone? I prefer meeting people oneonone. Uh-huh. I don't really like meeting people through social media. Getting, you know, to meet people on social media. It doesn't give you like a real relationship. It just gives you Yeah. It just gives you like a surface type relationship. I don't take men seriously. Like I place them here so in case they [ __ ] up. Yeah. you can just so there are men who move to women who like love themselves to destroy them while there are men who are actually attracted to women who don't love themselves. It gives them that ego boost. Yes. Over the years they groom women to believe that marriage, love and everything come and carry you. It doesn't exist. They don't care. That's true. They don't care about our feelings. They don't care about anything other than themselves. That's why we as women, we should do things for ourselves. The only love I feel like you should in fact don't even love any man. So, so you have kids then put the love on that in your Yeah. Because they don't genuinely love you. I know. But husband, you watch. I will teach you a lesson. Hey guys, it's your favorite baby girl and you already know that this is just my POV. As with every single episode, we're talking about, you know, your own POV, representing for the Gen Z's, and me, of course, holding it down for the millennials. In case you missed out last week episode, we were talking about are men and women truly equal, and it was just so fire. So, make sure that you go check it out. Without talking too much, how about we get into the issue of today? Now, guys, I've got with me a fresh Gen Z holding it down. Can we meet you? Hi, guys. My name is Sophia Snow White for sure. Snow White. Wait, how did you get that Snow White? I can tell, but just tell us. I mean, the clear skin. I know. I know. So, what do you do? What are you into? Oh, um, I used to be Vixen, but me full-time actor now. Oh, that's nice. And what's your social media? Snow White.s. Oh, S for Sopia. Sopia. Okay. How about we get into the matter of today? [Music] Today we're talking relationships and we're talking about how easy or how difficult it is. So, how about I throw you the first question. Right. So, in this era of like facetune, um, filters, situationships, do you think that it's easier to get a relationship or get into a relationship than it was back in the day? I feel like it's easier now. Oh, really? How? cuz like with social media without even meeting people physically you get to see people you admire them you start conversations without even meeting people so I feel like it's easier unlike before social media you have to see the person somewhere I I kind of get what you mean but I also kind of feel like no because you don't get like a real relationship you have like this kind of surface type of oh I've seen you and your aesthetics and I like it and whatnot, but that's not like a real relationship. Like that's why I was saying situationships and whatnot. From that angle, yeah. Okay. But I mean for you you now in your time and your era, do you tend to have like a lot of chances to get into a relationship? I was going to say a lot of relationships, but I don't want you to seem like or look from it skills. It doesn't matter. It doesn't. Let's just So, do you have So, do you have like a lot of relationships? No, I don't. Why if it's so easy? I choose not to. [Music] It's quite um what's the word? Tempting. Yeah, it is. Yeah. But I choose not to because not everyone thinks like me. Oh, so like I might want multiple relationships and when people tend to find out people don't know that you can date this person, date this person without actually having sexual relations with them. But when people get to know, okay, yes, this is your boyfriend. This person is also your boyfriend, they'll feel like, oh, okay, yeah, she's she's she's loose. She's this, she's that. So, I would rather not. Okay. But you have the opportunity to have a lot of relationships. That's what you're saying. That's what I'm hearing you. I do, but I choose not to. Okay. Okay. I get that. So, do you feel like do you feel like using social media to get a relationship is is in a way better than having to meet people oneonone? I prefer meeting people oneonone. Uhhuh. I don't really like meeting people through social media. I prefer meeting you in person. Like meeting a person without even knowing, okay, yes, I know this girl from social media or something. I just like to meet people. I tend to read their energy and know how genuine they are. Mhm. Than social media. That's exactly what I was trying to say when I said that getting, you know, to meet people on social media, it doesn't give you like a real relationship. It just gives you Yeah. It just gives you like a surface type relationship. Back in the day when I mean I'm still in the relationship pool but you get what I mean. Back in the day aho I will only maybe like meet new guys maybe when I go to church and then I'm coming back from church or like when I obviously when you go to the bank because if you have like bank transactions or at the ATM or at the airport. Yeah. Or at the airport and things like that. And the funniest thing about it is at those points when you now meet them and you guys exchange you guys are exchanging numbers not social medias by the way his number. So you will call you will text and then you find that the guys are more invested in that relationship where every morning he wants to say good morning beautiful. He wants to keep tabs on you because he can't just go on your social media and see you. Yeah. So that kind of felt like a very real a more invested and you know when you like invest into something you take it more seriously. True. So, I kind of feel like a lot of us these days, social media users, we're just performing one kind of circus where we're all just la. Yeah. And we're all just in our heads. Oh, please. Guys, we're still talking with Sophia Snow White on Just My POV. This episode, we're talking relationships. And so far I was asking her about um with filters and with all these extra situationships and go what's going on on social media if you can have a real relationship. Now she has already said that she likes something more real. But I also want to find out what do you think is the first thing like if a guy wants to message you now what do you think his perception is going to be of you when he sees your social media or the slagos baddies. So what I based on my experiences here, yeah, most guys they will not come out to tell you that okay yes I just want to hit and run. But I'm good at I have this discernment. So when when we go on the first date, I already know how serious this person is going to be. That's why I've never really dated anybody who comes to date me through my social media. I like people who see me, oh maybe at the airport or somewhere and they're like, "Okay, I want to get to know this person." Then I give you my number. But those other guys who come to my social media just want to hit and run and say, "Okay, yes, is it not this girl? I've been with her. So I know them." So that's why I don't want to take anybody who I meet through social media seriously. Cuz the truth is that they don't really like you. They feel like they feel like they've seen everything. Oh, she's she's she's this she's this bowling babe. Was there again? There's nothing to take seriously there. They feel like all these Lagos guys have gone round and everything, but they don't know that. Most of us just like to take pictures and actually live life. Yeah. So, you have to get to know someone. That's that's why like after they've known me, we've gone on couple of dates and they realize that okay, she's not actually into all that. Exactly. And that's where the pursuit start. And I've seen you already so there's no point. There's no point. I agree. Me too. I kind of feel like when they just see you on social media, they just look at you. Oh, your body. Oh, you look pretty. The next thing is, ah, she must be flashy. She must be following this. She must be flying this. Oh, let me just go and flash some cash. And then, and it's really not like that. The idea of social media is really just about posting stories and things that you want people to see. It doesn't mean that that's your real life. So, with that being said, do you think that social media is completely fake? It is fake. Completely real. I'm not going to lie. It is fake. So, let me use myself as an example. So, people see my page when when they see me in person, they're like, "Oh, the vibes I get from your page, you're actually very cool. I don't understand. What does your page say that you're not?" So, people would see me and feel and feel like, "Okay, she's going to be so proud. she's going to be that [ __ ] But when you see me in person, they're like, "Your social media is not correlating. Like, you are actually different." And chill. But I don't think people should like mark you off based on what you look like on social media. Mhm. Absolutely. The point of getting to know someone is having conversations, spending time with the person to see who this person is. You can't just judge based on she has Yes. and her following because there's this time um I got posted on this popular blog and people found my page and they were like oh my god see the people I know see the type of people the girl is following and I'm like I'm following these people they are following me doesn't mean that we've actually had conversations like most of the people I follow I don't even know them I just follow them because they probably followed me back or I just like them and I followed them so like the those stereotype of influencers or actors are like wild is what I'm not part of. So do you think that you also are somewhat guilty of it? Like for instance, if you go on social media, you want to know somebody and you go check the person's page because I do it sometimes. But when you go check the page, do you like come up with an idea or like a picture of the type of person you do? Exactly. You look like I'm not going to lie. Because I know I do it too. I do it to be very honest. But I still have this other part of me that feels like, okay, so because you you are like this on your page and you're different in real life, this other person could be that way. But my first impression of you when I come to your page, nah, you stick to that. I know you stick to that first impression. That's so crazy. But we're all guilty of it. The truth about it is social media is such a useful tool. It's so useful in terms of connecting the dots. So like bridging the borders where you can have like a different type of fashion. Like if you're into Korean movies or K, you know, K-pop type of energy, you can easily get their vibe and they know how to look like that. I love that. But when it comes to like relationships, I honestly and truly don't think social media is a really good tool. It can be a tool because like you have things like Tinder and Bumble or something like that in Nigeria. You still you can still download the app. I still just reg. Have you gone on that? I haven't. Oh my god. I have not. You have? I have. Why did you You're looking for a rel. It's not me looking for relationships. I just feel like I like to explore. I like to I like to have certain experiences. So when I want to talk about or discuss a matter with my friend. Okay. You want to know what to say exactly? I've gone on Tinder. You've gone on Tinder. So Oh my god. What did you see? Please tell me cuz I haven't. I need to know. Your spec is not there. Don't worry. Your spec is not there. Oh my god. This is crazy. Are you serious? Download the app. I wish I This is I was so angry that I had a waste. I wish I had it. I would have shown you it's a waste that is that now I even feel so bad all these ideas that people are like oh these dating apps you can actually get someone you work in Nigeria it doesn't work in Nigeria I I believe I've checked it I'm not going to lie some people said that they've connected with you but maybe I should not believe them you're telling me firsthand and I believe you guys there I haven't cuz I haven't gone I haven't Oh my god no are you serious it's not a good experience just terrible. You just be so discouraged like when you go on there and you like scrolling on it. But did you feel like some type of way like did you feel like because I kind of feel like I wouldn't judge you? Okay, so let me ask you like this. Would you judge somebody who's on Tinder or those social those dating apps? Would you date would you judge the person? No. For going on the app? No. But I I've had an ex judge me. It was so terrible. I didn't even see it as anything bad because it's not it's not really common for us in Nigeria. Exactly. So, a friend of mine told me, "Oh, I should go on the app. It's not like there's anything." And I foolishly went on the app. And the moment I got on the app, his friend notified him. Oh. Okay, she's on the app and was like, "How come my girlfriend be on Tinder and stuff like that?" And I was like, genuinely, yes. I went on the app. I put my real details. Mhm. And I saw the people there and they know just make me come. Exactly. So like what's what's the point? And you're now fighting me for something that is not even Okay, I get I get that. That's a Yeah, that's a bit. But thank you so much for this information for you guys and me that also want to get on or thought about getting those on those dating apps. No, I think from you first time I'm not I'm not going to try it. Don't try it. I'm not trying except the apps that are linking you to people abroad. Oh yeah. If there's no app linking you to people and you say you want to use dating app in Nigeria, you see from you know but you know I also feel like it's a really scary situation dating people from like dating apps even if it's even if it's international or it's local. I'm I'm one of those people. Yeah. I'm one of those people who likes to be like very careful because you don't know the kind of person that you just meet on there. Even normal walking on the road and just going your daily life. You don't know the kind of people that you are meeting. Exactly. How much more now meeting somebody from an app that you don't even know where he's coming out from. Maybe he's a hole. He'll just come out and wear something and look like and you just disappear from daddy. God forbid. God forbid though. I don't even I don't that's that's another reason why I don't like Yeah. social media relationships cuz it's not safe. Like I've seen stories online, even on Insta blog, we all know of people going to meet people who they've been dating for a while online and next thing they disappear. Like so like I don't think it's safe. Although I've I've done it once. I have. You don't judge. You really feel that's what this point that's what this show is about. So just Yeah. So there was this guy that I was talking to. We've been messaging each other, chatting and everything and sending videos, doing video calls and whatnot. And then later on, we now planned to meet up. We now met up. But I now realized that the guy is just not my kind of guy. He just didn't know how to I don't know, carry himself, should I say. So, we went out and we had drinks and he didn't know how to manage his alcohol. I think that that's one of the biggest turnoffs ever for a babe. When you go out with a man and then the man come and drink come they do and now get sloppy like what oh my goodness that turn the turn off was so and I never came back but I I still don't get why people would know okay they they have very low tolerance for alcohol and still drink I don't know it doesn't make any sense I think for this guy it was kind of like an ego thing but it wasn't about me I think he was probably trying to get me drunk drunk but didn't know that um who is dealing with like he didn't know what was going on and me I was just quiet because when he was asking oh what would you like to drink I was like oh I like to drink champagne because I don't want to do too much me too I was trying to just keep it together I'm a lady and then he is like oh no come on we can drink something why are you drinking something like you can drink something now and then he now decided to get whiskey you know I don't want to call the name of the whiskey then he now decided to get and then brought mixers and everything only for a guy before we have reached halfway of this our journey in the bottle. A guy just said like, "Look at this guy. He's pushing me." She She was pushing. And I'm like, "Bro, we're in a club. If people are gonna be anyhow." And then he just kept on being so dramatic. By the time we were leaving, he was like, "Can you imagine that guy was I'm just like, "Let me just let me just disappear from here. Let me just do like and I've disappeared on this." Oh my god. That's That was a terrible experience. And that was the only experience I had like dating somebody online and then now meeting the person later. And then I now started watching all those things on the blogs where some girls just go and just go missing. Ah, I don't do I'm not doing. So real talk now, right? I really want to know what exactly are you going to do especially as a Gen Z. What are you going to do if you found out that your boyfriend was dating you and another chick like he had another girlfriend? What are you actually going to do like in the actual situation? Firstly, let me break it down. Okay, I have steps. Okay, let's go. So, it depends on how I find out. Why does how you find out matters? Matters. So, imagine scrolling through um Tik Tok cuz I feel like Tik Tok is is is how you find out if you're single or if you're sharing you're sharing your babe with other people. So, imagine I'm on social media, Tik Tok. I like that app. I can see that. And I see like, oh, this babe is in my bab's house or something like that. First of all, I'm going to act like I, you know, I normally I have spirit of I'm spirit of discernment and I feel like so I feel like most times I believe that most times that descendment spirit is what brought that to my timeline. Okay. Yeah. As long as I absolutely agree. And I see it. I'm going to be like more I'm going to tell him I'm going to let him know that oh. Seems like I found your other girlfriend though. I'm very very sarcastic. So your obviously obviously he's going to deny it. Very very dramatic. You're going to be very very defensive. And the first step to know a person is lying is how defensive they are and their body language. Just leave it. Leave it to me. You'll think I studied psychology. I did not. I just have a very strong intuition when it comes to when people lie. M. So obviously it needs to be What am I saying? What am I? I would I would show the evidence then I would keep quiet. I'll be quiet. I would I would I would move in silence. Obviously he's going to The truth is that when you start to say, "Why did you cheat on me? Why didn't you You are feeling his ego." Yes. You are You are stroking You're stroking it. You're telling him, "Okay, yes. So I've gotten you to this point. He's going to do it again." to get that reaction from you. But when you are quiet, when you show him that you're an evil person, because in that quietness, what's his mind is? Why is she quiet? Yeah. Why is she quiet? Is she doing the same thing? No, he wants to make things right. He wants to do things right. Reverse psychology. Obviously, that's the that's the that's the highest. That's if I want to stay in the relationship. But if I want to stay in the relationship, I'm going to be quiet. Still the same thing. I will just check out mentally. Yeah, check out mentally. I mean, I deserve better. I'm I'm turning guys down. Not for you, Sh. Don't feel yourself. For my own selfrespect and to to give you that little respect that, okay, yes, you're my guy and you're going around sharing yourself. No. Now when I check out and I meet some it's not even like the truth is all of them. I don't want to have that mentality that all men cheat. But with what I'm seeing and with men in Lagos with men in Lagos I don't want to be that person to go into your head to tell you that all men cheat. But statistics is showing. Yeah. the 99.9999. Oh man, in Lagos cheats. Yeah. So is is I just when shall come out the next person might cheat. I don't have that mentality that he's going to cheat. But I get that. On to the next. Don't stress me. Don't stress. Like women, don't stress because they don't care about you. You're there yourself, feeling bad that he did this, but he's enjoying himself. And when you let him know that you are hurt, he's going to do it again. Yeah. I think that they thrive more on that fact that they've been able to hurt you over trying to make it right. They'll now be feeling very great. So, yeah, I was able to make her feel like all that type craziness. Sh. In my own opinion, I feel like if somebody I'm dating cheats on me or like I find out that he's with someone else, if I don't like you, I will not say anything to you. It's just that just as I found out, you are not important. As you are like that, you're already gone. Like there's no I don't even stress my head over anything as I just kind of like ah and I'm just done. Now if I like you if I decide to talk about it I will talk about it face to face. I wouldn't send you a message and be doing so that you'll be having the time to be thinking about what you are going to tell me. I won't give you that chance. I will just sit in front of you when you are right in front of me and I'll just ask you a very direct question who is or what is why did just a very simple question to don't if you are ready that's when you will have a good lie if you are not ready you will stutter and if you are stuttering I'll wait for you patiently you never jam you know land oh you get some way don't worry you see that lie that lie too me too before I asked you I'm ready for maybe a lie. So I maybe I'll have like evidence or something that I'll just be like, "Okay, take when you finish talking." Okay, I'm not arguing. I'm not fighting either. Just keep on moving. If I feel like talking to you the next day, I still I might even still talk to you. You'll just be wondering like the same way like you said. you just she's if I don't feel like talking to you the next day, I won't speak to you until I'm ready or not ready ever. I mean, I feel like I'm now in a place where things are just easy going. If you stress me, I cut you off. If you don't stress me, you are there. If you have something to offer, you are there. If you don't have anything to offer, you get lost. Like, I don't nothing really gets to me. Maybe like now that you're saying that, you don't want to be the one to say that all men cheat. I agree that not all men cheat, but I know that they have the tendency to and their friends encourage them to. Regardless of who you are, how beautiful you are, what you're into, their friends always encourage them to. So, it's left to him a personal decision of his when he's in that situation to either choose to or choose not to. I've removed my my my heart from these guys. No, I mean maybe until I get to my own husband. Go go go go go husband. Even that one too. I'll still be doing my even that husband only. I know but still husband you watch. I will teach you. If you've tried to stress me, I will teach you a lesson. And then I would have to teach him a lesson. You see men I've noticed something about them when you're unbothered. Yeah. It bothers them. Yes. Yeah. That's when they not start to care. Yeah. They now invested. If he used to cheat, he just cheating by himself. Mhm. By himself. He decides, okay, no, I don't want to cheat anymore. Like he's scared. He knows that you are very quick to leave. Men don't like women who love themselves. Yeah. Well, the truth is anyways. Hang on. It's two ways. Okay. So what I've noticed all these years is that men love what you love. For instance, if you love yourself, they are shaking. They want to impress you. They want to do the most to get you to forget who you are and start to love them. If you love yourself, they love you. If you love them, they love themselves. Do you get it? So often times to me so often times I'm like if I want if like now if you check most of the men that go for women they go for the women who are confident women who take care of themselves women who really look fly and flashy and all that even if they don't have the resources to take care of her. That's why they want to be chasing chasing chasing chasing until they able to strip you of that love of yourself. They chasing to destroy you. That's what I'm saying. So they are trying to strip you of that love that you love yourself but it is attractive to them when on the outside watching you how you carry yourself how you do how this thing is entering my eye make I go there make I go scout out things that's the crazy yeah that's a that's the downside of it that's the negative side of it and that's why also when they see like a lady who is soft to most of those type of ladies attracts predators Because unlike guys, unlike women where when they see something that they like, they want to nurture it and make it grow. Women see something they want to go there and put all their masculinity and say that they are in authority. And I feel like it's super. So there are men who move to women who like love themselves to destroy them. While there are men who are actually attracted to women who don't love themselves, it gives them that ego boost. Yes, there's that one. But those ones I feel they are sick. Naturally they sick. They have to be sick in the head to be attracted to the ones going to go and destroy. I didn't know. Don't worry. All of them are sick. They're not good to eat. Like okay I've met this guy. He's attracted to weak women and maybe all all men are like that. You'd also meet you'd also meet guys that so there's no rule book. They can't even switch. In fact, they are chameleons. If you see their real color is green before it's red. No, it's just red. I mean lying. Anything that they show you is not that. It's not matter what. Even if they put it in your eye, it's not that that is not it. Look at the back. Are you lying? They like toxic women. So the thing that's why I was saying that when you love yourself you know when you love yourself you're focused on yourself much more than anything else much more than any relationship. So where the guy is saying things like oh I need you to cook something or prepare something and I'm not saying that cooking for a man is a bad thing but I'm just using that as an example where you're saying that the woman is thinking of how it will disturb her nails or how it's now she'll now sweat and then her front toe will like be shifting. I be she's not interested. You now find that men are trying to impress you more just to get you to that place where they can now take advantage of you. That's all. The only reason the drive is a lot is just to get you to that place that they can now take advantage of you because their power comes from taking advantage of you. To be very honest, that's just what it is. To be very, very honest. I dated this guy and I genuinely told him that I don't take men seriously. Right. I place them here so in case they [ __ ] up. Yeah. You can just This guy he would do the most. He did give the I told you and I know I fail. So when you see that you are confident. Yes. That's when they start to show you the switch. Mhm. And that switch is still a test. Yeah. That's that's now that's now when you now have the power to say you are a [ __ ] Yes. And I'm going. And I'm going. Yeah. And before you know it, they're switching back. They like when when you're too predictable, you're boring. Yeah. I I I've realized that they told you they like women that are calm, that don't stress. In a lie. In a lie. Always like, let's let's I always make sure they complain about me. Yeah. Not the other way around. M I would ra you like you would make statements like do you even love me I love you oh so I rather here so if you don't call me you will not come like they'll be like so if I don't call you not call me I'm like oh no that's not how it is but really I'm very very happy because if if no I notice something here after they complain that Yes. If you don't call me, if I don't call, you won't call me. Then you start to call. They relax. They they will not call you again. In fact, they'll just be chilling and be waiting. Every day from that day that you call from that moment, every day just be waiting, waiting. But then I now ask myself, what then is the point? What then is the point of trying to come and meet this girl? Is it that you want to ruin everything for like what then is the point? I don't believe in love. I feel like we is it for sex. Basically is but is the sex and the energy they siphon from you. So then yeah men siphon your energy your energy they suck it dry because they ain't got no energy. They don't they don't. And and the thing is minus men you know like when you focus like when somebody provokes you. I don't know if I'm I'm more of a spiritual person here. Yeah. When a person provokes you and you react. So you are the receiving end from that reaction. You feel good about it. You're like, "Okay, yes, I got the reaction from that person and you're glowing." The other person is angry angry about what you just did, what you just did, you get. It's the same way men are. They strive when they see that they've drained you of that that like that. Oh, is is it's is evil. Very very evil. That's how they are. But isn't that isn't that so bad? Isn't that really a really really bad thing? Isn't that really terrible that we are in an age and I I know that we're from two different generations, but we're in a place where no matter the generation of woman that you speak to, when you ask her things like, "Oh, things about maybe like her greatest mistakes or things like things that she would rather have not done." Why is it that we've been treated so badly that we're always opting to the option of oh some of them will say old women are like maybe 90 oh I wish I never got married even some younger women are like oh I wish I never met my husband like we can have other issues right I hope you guys realize that we can have other issues that are not men I feel like it's the grooming from the beginning of time so I I like I like that women are more awake now. I I actually like it cuz over the years they groom women to believe that ending up with you know that fairy tale of marriage love and everything come and carry you. It doesn't exist. It doesn't. It's sad that you think that as a Gen Z though. I'm I'm I would say I'm I'm very experienced. No, I know what you mean, but it's just sad. Like, wow. I If I was if I was thinking that, that's okay. I I can get that. But you as a Jenzi, that's really sad. Can't this guy see it? They don't care. That's true. They don't care about our feelings. They don't care about anything other than themselves. That's why we as women, we should think for ourselves. We should do things for ourselves. The only love I feel like you should in fact don't even love any man. So if you have kids then put the love on that in your Yeah. Because they don't genuinely love you the way the way. Okay. So imagine how crazy it is. A man loves you when he has invested in you. And that's the honest truth. You see people take care of what they value. Mhm. to them it might not even that's why I say men don't love the way we we have been groomed to love you see that unconditional love that they've been preaching in the Bible is family I agree on that one is family and that's it because genuinely this guy might actually see you and feel something strong for you I won't say it's love no just it's so quick to disappear it is extremely quick to disappear That's that's why you would hear, "Oh, men are polygamist in nature." Which polygroomed you guys, in fact, they let you guys live your life. They groomed us to believe that you would love this man and this man has the ability to love other women. Is that even fair? Does that even make sense? But you know that that's the patriarchy. That's the patriarchy. So, the laws are made by men to favor men. That's just the truth. But also, let me just let me just hold this part out for the guys because I kind of need to do that. Um, so don't you also think that sometimes is also or most of the time is our fault? Yes, we enable. Yes, actually we enable it. We we just because we don't want to be in charge of this whole [ __ ] we just want to leave it for someone else to be able to deal with and then we just sit under the ah lady type of thing. So we enable the idea of doing that also we have this way of thinking that we can love somebody until they love us. That's really mad. Do you know that's very very mad. How can you sit down and think you've seen the person you already know this guy is like this but you deep down you say no I'm going to change him. Crazy grooming is the grooming to be very honest is the grooming. So I don't see I don't see that grooming as telling you you can change somebody. Sh they've seen their moms do it. They didn't change their father. He did not change. So that thought is crazy in the first place. Well, not everyone is woke. Not everyone is wise. So you you and not everyone sees like life the way you see it. We don't see life on the same. Yeah. I just feel like and the truth is over time they open their eyes. Yeah. After eating after eating a whole lot after they've seen a whole lot. But most of us we don't we don't get to that point cuz for me I I I gather experiences from other people. I don't I don't want it to happen to me before I know that. I can see that. When I was saying that is [Music] I know I can see that for myself. I want this for myself. So I'm very very careful and even with the still get to you. I think it has a lot to do with. So the thing is people like to blame women for falling for the wrong men but they forget that this wrong men so to speak will be right to another woman. One, two, these wrong men took their whole time and energy to become somebody completely different just to get to you. And he lied about everything and he carried himself everywhere false and did everything force to drag you to that place. So when he want to be faulting us for a we have to open our eyes. We have to do this. Let's also point out the fact that these men will go to any length to deceive you and tell you black is white when really it ain't even and you see them in comment section saying women are going dig if I catch you. If I catch you that's the only thing we can hold you guys accountable for money because we can't even ask you guys to give us emotions and you are ready to give us very ask you guys to give us commitments and you're ready to give us either. So the only thing we can really ask you that you guys also respect is money. That's the only reason that happens. Very honest. Even if a woman decides not to ask men is transactional. Yes. They just everything they just feel like you're too stupid to even realize it. In fact, all the people I've dated, they'll be they always like you're too wise for your age. And I'm like nah. Uh-uh. You just want to take advantage of her. You just want to take advantage because I see you. Mhm. I see you. Like I know exactly what you're doing. The fact that you are sec you're sexually active with this person is transactional for him already. Yeah. He's following your energy. He's your you you both are having soul ties. You're taking his bad karma. You're taking his his his energies, his good spirits and everything is transactional. So why would you be there doing oh no carry the bag? That's the only take carry it develop yourself be independent on your own. And the thing is I realized something. Do you know that as an independent woman men are more scared Mhm. Like, yeah, they they don't approach you. Yes. They don't approach you. When they when they have you, when they decide to have you, they respect you. Even if they cheat, you will not find out. Um, no. Offset otherwise with Ki and I know that a lot of Z see what happens. Because she's no offense, she's she's more wealthy than him. I'm talking about when you match or you're like a little bit lower than him. So when you're a little bit lower than him. A bit lower than him. Okay. When you're a bit lower than him, I think that what happens is they are excited to have you. They are going out with you first. But because of who you are, you tend to help him attract other women to him. You know, that's another thing about us that really annoys me. I don't know why we do that [ __ ] We I don't know. We don't know stupid [ __ ] I don't know. But we do it a lot. I don't know if we we know jobs. We're too smart for that. We know where where we see a guy with a maybe like a queen. Let me use the word a queen. And then there are other chicks who are girls as well. I'm just trying for this for the sake of this explanation. When we see a guy with a queen, even if we know that guy before and we're not interested in that guy, that guy starts to look very attractive to all these little chicks. And then these chicks now start to clamor around the guy. And then the guy now starts to feel like, "Oh, I'm just too awesome." That he was never awesome all he had this true. Yeah, that really should do better. It annoys me. They do it all the time. And I know that's why I said that we're too smart for us to pretend that we don't know. We know and we're doing it. And then when that happens, what happens with the guys just because he feels that now this babe is feeling that she's too much now that she's with me. because now I think I'm even greater than her because of all these girls. You know what? I will show and make she sit up. Then he start to mess up with these other girls. And that's what Offset did with Cardi B because she was talking about it and he was still cheating on her. And he just kept doing it with these little chicks. Now she's done and she's not even moved on. Where are those cheeks? Where the crazy thing about these girls is when they come around you like that. If that your queen leaves you, they will all fall off like flies off. That's they will just fall off too. They won't find you attractive too. So why play the game in the first place? Those chicks feel like he's taking care of her so well. They don't they really don't know. That's why they will not cl anymore. Yeah. When they find there's nothing to show. Yeah. I have nothing to show for it. So, I don't know why they do that, but they do that and it's not just it's not nice at all. It's not nice. So, I hope that with today's episode, we were able to pick a thing or two for the guys and the girls. Girls do better. If you see your babe or like one dope chick with a guy, you don't have to go there. all the years that you may wish your dignity yourself well as a queen yourself. Let your king locate you. Then for the guys, if you have a babe that makes sense, stick to that babe because for you to find another one, you won't even find another one. That's just care. That's the truth. Well, but the truth is they know the value of a solid chick. They know it's gone. You see? So that's why I said just be there. Don't touch her again. See them running crying and you'll never get her back. Don't go back home. If you've gone as a chick, as a queen, just just go. Keep it moving. Well, it's an amazing with you, Snow White. You have talked about so many things in this one episode. It's kind of it's so crazy that we were only going to talk about one aspect like this. We've just gone all all around it. And I love it. I love it. Very interesting topic. Ah, thank you so much. Absolutely. I really do like the fact that you're able to I mean, you're a Gen Z, but you're you've removed yourself from like the norm. You're not like the majority. You know how in Jenzie vibes? I don't know, maybe it's just me. I just feel like Jenz's are almost all the same, but you have been able to like stand out. And I like that your intuition has guided you so far. Keep up with it. Don't let anybody mess with you. Nobody can. Yeah. Don't let anybody mess with you. And if you're, you know, you were thinking or you contemplating how you want to be like, I hope that you've been able to pick a thing or two out of this conversation when it comes to your relationships, when it comes to social media, when it comes to finding someone serious and when it comes to not allowing yourself to be deceived. Until next time, I am Pearl Cardi. And I am Sophia and this is just my POV. Mwah. Goodbye. Wow.