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Ever wish you had a mentor to help you become who you were meant to be? Crystal Ware is redefining what it means to become your best self, in business, life, and love and sharing everything she she knows to get YOU there faster.
Are you stuck? Feel like you are meant for more but not sure how to breakthrough? Every week, we will explore all of your questions on building a path to true happiness, achieving success and creating our dream life. Brick by brick, we will work through the issues and mindsets that keep us stuck, dive into finding our passion and how to take ACTION. Clarity (vision) + Confidence (Owning your worth) + Courage (to live life on your own terms and become your own CEO) propels you to your destiny. And the good news it: its all within you!
Each week, host, Crystal Ware, will bring you all of the practical wisdom to grow every aspect of your career and life including mindset, vision, goal planning, social media management, financial acumen and so much more. You'll also meet top business leaders, entrepreneurs, mompreneurers and innovative thinkers who invested in themselves and found their way success and happiness by leading on their own terms.
You were made for more, so start living like it today. Join us as we take action, grow together, and get inspired to reach for your dreams.
The New Mom Code - from modeling to motherhood with Amanda Tice
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[00:00:00] Good morning. Good afternoon. Good evening, wherever you are, whatever time it is. We are so excited to welcome you back here to get clear with crystal where and today we have a phenomenal guest, Amanda Tice, who is a former TV journalist. She is the co founder of Hatch Studios, proud mom to son George and an author excellent, amazing, successful curve model and body positivity advocate that you have probably seen on some of your favorite magazines or in your favorite stores.
So she does it all. And we love hearing from women that can do so many things and wear so many hats and see how you put a life like that together. So welcome to the show. Thank you for sharing your time with us today.
Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited to be
here.
Yes. So what I always like to jump in [00:01:00] with Amanda is to really understand like what your background is. Where did you come from? What did you think you were going to do when you grew up? And then we can go into how you cultivated this alternative life and career for yourself.
So I can't really tell you what I thought I was going to be when I grew up. Maybe I had an inkling that I'd be a therapist because I loved to talk to all the other little girls. And I, you know, my mom would ask me when I came home from school, what did you learn today? And it would always be not anything related to math or science.
It would always be like, Sarah had a really hard time at school today. Her parents are getting a divorce and she doesn't know what to do. And so I was just always very interested in personal relationships, anthropology, psychology in general. so I did go to the university of Chicago and I have a [00:02:00] degree in comparative human development.
Which is basically anthropology, psychology, and biology. And I think my mom had an expectation that maybe I want to go into medicine because both of my parents are in medicine. And I said, you know, I want to do something different. I want to try something really out there. and so the first thing I did was she sat me down, which I think this is, honestly, I have to give my mom a lot of credit.
I think parents, especially in my generation, had a lot of expectations for following more traditional careers. I remember she was visiting me in college. I think I was a sophomore and she said. Cut, you know, cut the crap. Like, you need to tell me what you actually like doing.
Like, give me some things that you enjoy doing. And I remember sitting there being like, Well, if I'm completely honest, I like watching [00:03:00] TV. And I was like, you know, horrified, right? That I'm at a top 10 college. And she's telling me that what I like to do is watch television. And so she said, okay, well, why don't we get you or help you find a job in television?
And I said, Oh. I can work in television. Like it never had even occurred to me that I could do something in television. And so I started applying to some local news stations and I got an internship at a local news station in Hawaii, actually where my parents lived at the time. And then I went on and interned at Fox News Channel and MTV in New York one summer.
And after that, then I started working in broadcast journalism. And that was, that was interesting. I worked for a local news station in Arkansas, and then I moved to New York and I did a special training program in with news it's called news 12 in the Bronx, [00:04:00] and that was kind of a turning point for me because I also realized that I don't know if the right word is callous, but I was just a very emotional person. So the idea of having to ask people very complex questions when they were in distress was not proving to be the best fit for me. So I started doing more lifestyle stuff and I was working for MTV and I used to have my own TV show in the Hamptons.
And then 2008 happened and the economy crashed, which I feel like for people my age was a big turning point or change in career and having to get really scrappy and think your way. Out of the box and I was picking up kind of odd jobs in New York because that's where I was living and I did an extra job, which if you're not familiar, that's when you kind of stand in the background on set.
So it could be like a [00:05:00] party scene or a school scene, and you're just kind of standing in the background. There are no lines. It's just you're. A warm body to be there to make it look realistic. And so I did one of those and I met this photographer who was 18 or 19, who was also shooting for Ford models and Wilhelmina, which two are the, they're two of the biggest modeling agencies in the world.
And he said, you know what, you could be a plus size model. And I said, what's the plus size model? Because, I had never. Heard of a plus
size model before. so
listening, let's be real. That's really like a size eight and above. Okay. Right? Like plus size is not.
yeah, no, it.
it. It's not really like a big person.
Yeah, no, you're right. I mean, I feel like the way it was determined, especially when I started with straight size is a zero to four [00:06:00] and then plus size was typically an eight or above. So, yeah. So I said, Oh, that's interesting. I, you know, never heard of. A plus size model before because he was a photographer.
He's like, I can take some pictures of you if you want. I know you, you said you needed new headshots.I can do that too. So I said, okay. And after we had that background shoot together, I went and took some pictures with him. And then I didn't think about it for a month. And then it got into 2009 and I was living in New York and everyone that had been paying me in broadcast was like, we can pay you half of what we were.
They knew before.so I said I need to just do something off the wall and I saw that there was an open call at Wilhelmina and I went to Kinko's, which I don't even think exists anymore, and I printed off little five by seven pictures of myself that he had taken of [00:07:00] me. And I brought them to the agency and they signed me that day.
And so that was in January of 2009 and I've been
modeling ever since.
And so, I mean, you are essentially like a full time model. Like you're making a full career. It's not something you're just doing or have been doing kind of in your spare time or filling in gaps. This is like, since you went that direction, that was it.
Yes.
Wow.
say that was definitely the case. Probably. Until I had my son and then since then it's kind of been more part time, but it goes in waves. I mean, the industry is such that way COVID changed everything as well. You know, there's been a lot of fluctuations within the industry too, but yes, I'm still signed with now I'm signed with Ford and I signed with them about a month and a half ago.
And that is the goal to
get back into it as much as [00:08:00] possible.
Yeah. So let me back up and say, I think that some people might be interested who are listening in how, when we were growing up, I feel like MTV has evolved and changed so much. So I have to really like preface it that way. When we were growing up, MTV was still music and vibrant. I don't know. Now I just think of it as like,reality TV shows, to be honest.
but then I don't
totally fair. I mean, I have not turned on MTV
in probably a
decade.
right. I mean, it's so different, but I mean, I think it's still popular, but you know, it was really popular, 10, 20, 30 years ago also. So how did you get an internship with MTV to start with?
I mean, I really just got lucky. I did all of the things I was supposed to do. I think it helped that I had already had an internship at a local news station. And I think [00:09:00] MTV at the time, I want to say they must have had at least 150 interns because every division needed two to three interns.
Internships were not paid
then really. So it was just like free labor. it was interesting because, On the flip side of that, I was working at Fox News Channel and MTV simultaneously. So I was working seven days a week. I did two days for MTV and I did five days for Fox, but at least Fox paid their internships, paid for their internships. and so that they were long hours.
Fox News was much longer hours than MTV. MTV was and a lot of what honestly again, it was kind of free labor So I think that they thought that they would just choose people from all over the country that were just passionate about music or entertainment and really it [00:10:00] was a lot of like transcribing videos and running videos from one office to the other office and just Being able to be behind the scenes and see all the inner workings of what
was happening at that
time You Yeah,
But I always tell people that. If you have opportunities to go into something that you really are interested in love, I mean, You do have that exposure and exposure can lead to so much, right? there are opportunities to be close to people to get to know people. And then who knows, I mean, you could be, you know, with Leo DiCaprio as an intern, you know, or somebody like that.
You never know where people are going. So it's always interesting. but I do think there's more laws around that though. I think most internships are
now I think they're paid. I don't think you can get away with free internships the way you did back
no,
but, you know, it was a really cool experience. I feel like I just got lucky that both of those internships accepted me. I must [00:11:00] have applied to 50 or 100. I think a lot of times when people, You know, are looking for specific opportunities.
They get, they go inwards on themselves. Like I'm not good enough for this, or they tend to devalue what they bring to the table. And so they don't apply to those things that seem out of reach. Whereas a lot of times I feel like those companies are looking for people who are really motivated or interested.
I'm sure I had to write some sort of essay about why I wanted to work for MTV or what inspired me. And I feel like those things do get looked over and read by the right people or they used to. and they're important, you know, like it, you have
nothing to lose by
trying.
you're absolutely right. I mean, I do think that a lot of people take themselves out of the consideration before they even have the opportunity and having those, especially women, having those kinds of mental blocks about like, what can I [00:12:00] do? What can I achieve? How will this work out for me? you and absolutely, you need to just go for it, make the ask, whether that's, applying for something interesting or unusual, otherwise it's an automatic no if you don't even go for it.
so that is a critical point for people that are thinking about doing something different. Whether it's in your current career or moving outward or a young professional trying to move up into another sphere. But it also sounds to me, and I wanted to pause on that. You were really leaning into what your passion was going to be early on.
You were not. Moving in the direction or chasing dollars, so to speak. Would you say that's accurate?
That's very true. I mean, and I think I was lucky enough that I had a good background that I didn't have to chase money the way I feel like a lot of people do.and there is a certain level of comfort in that, that you can be able to chase your dreams from the get go. I mean, I think my [00:13:00] parents were very good at, Making sure that I was pursuing something that I wanted to do and something that I really liked Even if it wasn't in alignment with they with what they thought I should be doing But I've always kind of been like that.
Like I love creative writing It's the reason why I became an author and why I have my book the new mom code And I there was something from the time. I was very young I always knew I wanted to try to do something creative and I'm very Pretty sure that they
knew that from a very young age with me anyway.
Yeah. Well, kudos to amazing and supportive parents. That is something I remind myself about all the time because I have strong opinions and strong thought processes, and obviously a lot more lived experience than my little children. and so as they get older, I always tell myself, like, you can guide them, you can mentor them.
We can give good feedback from the life that we lived and things that we've learned along the way. But ultimately we have to let go a little bit and let [00:14:00] them pursue the opportunities and the path, regardless of whether that leads them to a life that's different than what we gave them and or what we want for them.
You know, it's because ultimately, People want different things and self fulfillment is the most important thing. Not money, not what other people's expectations are, but self fulfillment. and that's what I really love about what you've done is because, I think that anybody that sees you read your, no, your articles, your book, everything else, that is really what comes through is that like, you've created a life that you absolutely love.
And I like to highlight and show that to other people that it's really, it's really out there for the taking. You just have to like move in the direction that feels good. Do things that you love, be open to failure because, getting there, I'm sure you've had a lot of nose in modeling, right?
You don't just, automatically rise to the top.
no, it takes a lot [00:15:00] of perseverance and you have to be, you have to try to be someone who doesn't take things personally because there's so much rejection in the fashion industry
on a daily basis.
So tell me, I, that is interesting. What is the like weirdest no or most uncomfortable? No, that you've gotten.
Ooh. That's a tough one. I mean, I feel like the thing is I can't necessarily pinpoint one because there have been so many, right? I feel like the, so the way it works in the industry is that you get what are called options. And so your agent will say, Hey, this big client really likes you. You're on option for them.
So that means that you're one of the top candidates. For the job. The reality is then you kind of get yourself worked up. Maybe it's a really great rate. Maybe it's a brand that you love, that you wanna be in alignment with, [00:16:00] and you have no control over what the outcome will be. Nor do you ever get feedback as to why you didn't get the job.
So I feel like that's one thing that I. Think is difficult when it comes to a lot of other jobs, because if you apply for a job, let's say you go through the interview process. They usually tell you part of the reason why they didn't think you were a good fit. Right. But you never get that feedback almost ever in the fashion industry.
And you have to kind of come to the realization that usually it has nothing to do with you. They decided that they wanted someone who was, you know, a size 16 instead of a size 12. They decided that they wanted to have a blonde instead of a brunette, right? Like there are so many factors involved with choosing who they decide to hire that they couldn't possibly tell all of the people that they optioned [00:17:00] why they weren't chosen.
So I can't say that there's been. There have just been a lot of jobs, I guess, that I have, you know, fingers crossed, I hope I get it, sort of a thing, and then at the last minute, someone else gets it. And that's, you know, that's heartbreaking, for sure. And you just have to kind of rebound and try to tell yourself, well, it wasn't my fault, right?
Because I'm also being judged. Purely on what I look like so, you know that nowadays it's a little bit different I think they do probably try to take into account, do you have a following base? Do you have a brand? What are the platforms that you're speaking to? Who's your audience? Whereas before it was really just about Are you going to fit the clothes we want?
are you going to look good in the clothes that we have to sell? And are you the right fit? Are you the right height? Are you the right size? You know, are you in alignment with what we
have in mind for the
brand?
Yeah. So what is there any, I don't know, like a standout [00:18:00] campaign that you did that you just really loved because you either personally had always followed the brand or liked them, or you just had a lot of fun on it. is there anything like extra exciting that comes to mind in your memories?
I mean, there have been a couple of things. I did the cover of women's running magazine, which was a blast, but it was just so fun because I was a runner and I felt like there are just, you know, They're not a lot of, I would say, plus size or real size women that get featured on those types of magazines.
And so, to be able to have my face and my body, On a magazine cover like that was just very special. I feel like, because, you know, I've got roles in, in my picture that I'm on the cover and I'm, I don't care because I feel like that's such a positive message to other women about what they're capable of and that their [00:19:00] size doesn't really matter.
And it's just being free and lost in that moment of running and exercising, and it was just a very
special opportunity for me.
I have it up right now and you guys you should definitely check it out. You can google women's running Amanda Tice. And I think you will be able to find it pretty quickly. But I mean, I think you look like a supermodel to be honest. And I'm a runner and I subscribed to runners world for years and years.
And you're absolutely right. Like I'm a small girl. I'm only five one. I've always been pretty much a size two, which is not like. Crazy skinny for somebody that's five one. it's very normal, but like they're tiny, I mean, professional distance runners, the women, you know, weigh like 90 to a hundred pounds.
so when I see your photo, I mean, I, you do not look plus size at all. You look like a supermodel. Honestly, it's gorgeous. It's such a beautiful thing. And that's really exciting. I agree. That's like such a fun experience and it's just a [00:20:00] great. you know, for not being like a Vogue type, it's out and about photo.
It's just absolutely stunning. I love it. I hope you have that, photo, you know, somewhere up in your house. It's such a good
I do. That's the only, well, I have that one and I also have, I did a, magazine cover for JCPenney with my
son.
Oh
that was really cool to just have, because they didn't tell me that it was going to be a catalog cover. And so when it came out and he was in it, I was like, I'm going to have this one forever.
This is the one that needs to be framed. So I, those are the only two I have really in my house, but they're the ones I probably are, were some of the most
memorable shoots that I've
had.
yeah. So let's dive into the new mom code and what kind of inspired you to bring it up? What? Yes. It's amazing. And we will drop a link for everybody in. because it's absolutely [00:21:00] killer information. I love it. You know, new age, new modern mom, like how did you go through this process and really decide you were going to write a book and what you were going to write about?
So like I had said earlier, I really loved creative writing. I had loved it from the time I was little. I think I probably started journaling and like second grade and I have all these books everywhere in my house of like, you know, just really ridiculous things, but I love to write and I love to journal andI always knew I wanted to write a book.
Did I know what I wanted that book to be about? Absolutely not. And it was interesting because it happened somewhat organically in the sense that I just had such a hard time postpartum, I had so much postpartum anxiety and I felt like [00:22:00] mothers were just not telling each other the truth about their experiences and especially back, Five, six, seven years ago, social media was just flooded with perfect motherhood experiences, right?
Pictures of people on vacation with their laughing, smiling children. And everything was such a glossy, perfect image of what motherhood should be. And so when I, went through that door and became a mom, I was like, what is going on? Someone has duped me, right? I could not believe how many things were different and difficult.
So, you know, and everything from breastfeeding, which is the very first thing that you have to do as soon as that baby comes, to just talking about postpartum sex and then all the anxiety and fear you have surrounding death. I mean, I just felt like there were [00:23:00] so many topics that women were just not being transparent about with each other.
And so I said, you know what, I want to write about my experience and I want to do the research involved to help other mothers realize that what they're experiencing in motherhood. Is not abnormal, right? They're not alone in their experience. Everyone is going through a lot of that. And so, I started writing in 2018 and I want to say that I, I maybe wrote one or two chapters.
So, maybe I wrote one about breastfeeding and then I want to say I wrote one about making new mom friends. And then I didn't really think about it for a long time. At least a solid year because I think by that point, you just get that first year is so intense with your child that you just don't have that extra time.
And I said, you know what? I really think that all moms need to know this information. And so I just [00:24:00] kept. taking little bits of time and saying, I'm going to keep writing, I'm going to keep writing. And so a lot of my book was written on iPhone notes at two o'clock in the morning when my son was keeping me up because he's a awful sleeper.
And, I just was like, Other mothers need to know about this and I initially like I put together an entire book and I was so proud of myself, but I didn't necessarily have any intention of really publishing it. I kind of was like, I'm going to put together this book and then I'm going to send it to all my mom friends as a PDF so that when they're going through all these things, they can reference these sections and say, oh, okay, well, Amanda went through this.
This was her story. This is how she dealt with it. These are some, things she's done to remedy it. And I felt like it could be like a fun thing that I could give my friends to help them throughout those first couple years postpartum. And then, [00:25:00] you know, I said, well, the feedback I got from a lot of my friends was Thank you so much for writing this because I thought what I was experiencing was just me.
I thought I was the only one who was going through all this and it just made me feel so much better about my experience. And I said, okay, I guess I can look into what it would be like to publishing it. And so it gave me a project to work on. And, you know, especially I feel like those first couple of years postpartum when you're kind of, you lose yourself, right?
I was like, well, I've always loved writing. It would be awesome to publish a book. I've always wanted to publish a book. I'm going to start doing the research. So I started doing the research on publishing and figuring out the process. And honestly, I just really got lucky again, because I had a friend who was in PR who then knew a book coach.
And then he not only was a book coach, but he also is like a smaller publisher. He's [00:26:00] like an independent publisher. And, we sat down, we had meetings, and he read my manuscript. And he said, I love your book. I want to publish it. And I was so unexpected because I'd already learned so much about the process of, writing a book proposal, getting a book agent, going, submitting it to publishing agencies, realizing that it was probably going to take, I feel like the average books.
take anywhere from a year and a half to two years before they actually hit the printing press. And when he said, I believe in your book, I love your book, I want to publish it. I was like, okay, great, let's do it. And so I went in a very short amount of time from having the manuscript done to Signing with his publishing company and then going through all of the edits and the cover design and all of the things that were involved with publishing a book.
And it was so unexpected, but it just goes back to what we talked about before. [00:27:00] If you don't put yourself out there, opportunities don't just come to you. You have to be actively seeking them. So, it just was the luck of the draw. that I was able to network my way. Up to finding the right person
who wanted to publish my book.
That is absolutely amazing. Kudos to you because it does, it's like birthing another spirit, right? It's not like birthing a baby, but it is. I mean, it's a process. It's. You know, and that you took the time because I just remember, I don't know what I thought. I mean, I just was living my life until I gave birth.
I mean, I just was living my normal life. I was still running. 10 miles a week or 10 miles up to 10 miles until I was 37 weeks. I was just like, I'm just going to live. There is nothing. I'm going to, that's not going to stop me. And then when my first son was born, yeah, he didn't sleep through the night until he was.
And so [00:28:00] I don't, you know, I, it just. It was foggy. Life was foggy. It wasn't necessarily all roses and sunshine. You know, there was a little bit of bitter feelings when other people would be like, Oh, little Johnny is sleeping six hours a night already at like six weeks. And you're thinking my baby is eight months old and I'm still being woke up four times a night.
I'm going to actually lose my mind. And, there are times where you feel alone. So I think, yes, the more transparent we can go, especially after COVID, I feel like people need this more than ever, where we have a little bit lost a sense of community with so much going electronic and, so many things going virtual and women, especially with little babies and toddlers need a village.
and that. I think is so critical. and it's brave because a lot of people are afraid to share. And I think, some things are embarrassing. Like you mentioned postpartum sex, like [00:29:00] people don't want to always talk about that. But if you don't hear what other people are doing, you're just going to feel like, is this weird?
Is this unusual? How I'm feeling? What's going on? I just, I'm so impressed and proud and it's amazing. it's a feat. I know a lot of people say they want to write a book and I do believe that most people have a book out there. but you're right. You do have to put yourself out there.
And before you put yourself out there, you have to put. I believe you have to put the words out there. You have to like actually have the courage to say, I want to do this. I'm going to make a goal to do this no matter what the timeline is. and when you start putting it into the universe, you can start like finding a way, finding a rhythm to pull you into the people that can, connect the dots.
It's six degrees of Kevin Bacon or whatever they used
Yeah, no,
There's a way.
true. and so even the funny thing is, if you go back to the beginning, [00:30:00] so when I did that training program at News 12 in the Bronx, right, that I was telling you about, there was one other girl who was an intern at the same time as me, and she was the one who ended up having the PR company who introduced me to the
book coach. right? So I think that's another thing that people sometimes forget is that your connections that you make in a professional way are always worth something. to keep as many connections as you can and network and meet new people. People all know each other, right? Like at the end of the day, just because you don't know someone who can.
can solve your problem, the likelihood that someone in your network can solve that problem is high. And so if you make sure that you keep ties to all of those people in your network that are important to you, or that you have a connection with, or are doing something that you think is really cool, then the likelihood that you're going to get the outcome you want is so much more [00:31:00] likely.
You just have to keep those connections intact, and you have to make sure that you. are doing the things that you need to be doing in order to refresh those relationships. Even if it's just sending them an email being like, how are you? how's your child? I see you moved to Florida. How's Florida?
Right? It doesn't necessarily have to be some long winded email about, oh, we have to catch up about everything that happened between the last time we saw each other with, with her, I probably hadn't seen her in 10 years, 15 years, it's, but every, you know, it's, I'd see her doing something on social media and I'd say, congratulations on your new client for your PR firm.
It's so exciting. And those little things make a big
difference in how people remember you too.
absolutely. And it's not trite because it's true that your network is your net worth to a degree. and I think that's really important. And the [00:32:00] earlier people realize that. The more seriously they take it. I mean, so one of the few regrets I have in my professional career is that, in my early twenties, I did not go out of my way to create those professional networks.
Like I have just been always a person that's like, if we have something in common, I want to talk to you. I'm a naturally curious person, but I didn't do it with intention until really 33 34. and wow, when that switch turned on for me, I realized what all I had been missing all of those years because there is so much and people generally, when they have an expertise or they've been successful in something, they're usually really happy to share it with people in a genuine way.
if you're not, you know what, if you're not just totally being selfish and like. looking for something for you only, a genuine person that stayed in contact that's [00:33:00] been reaching out. People are usually very willing to go out of the way and help people. And that's what I found. But it takes having a real genuine relationship somewhere along the chain.
and cultivating that can be so, so, so immensely, useful and it's putting yourself at the right place at the right time, being open to opportunities and putting yourself out there. And then I love that you've added, not once, but twice that it sometimes things are a little bit of luck. yeah. But you're not going to get lucky if you have not done any work or put yourself in the right place.
So that's why people, if things aren't going your way and you're sitting around saying, well, but so and so is just so lucky. No, no, no. They might have come across a little bit of luck, but that's like five or 10%. You know, you have to put your work in and you have to get in the right position. That's the bulk of it.
I also think nowadays too, the one thing that people underestimate is how much value there is in sharing about [00:34:00] other people's successes. So that's another thing too, where I feel like it's such a simple way to tell someone that you either care about them or admire them or respect them by, Sharing their successes, whether that means, let's say on Instagram, you share a story about, Oh, like I said, going back to my friend, that's the PR owns a PR agency, just sharing a story about, Hey, look, my friend, Christina just landed this awesome client because she's got this really unique strategy, go visit her page.
Right?people appreciate that too. there is something to be said for, and of course you don't do, like you said, you have to be genuine about it. Like, I really believe that she's doing all these amazing things and I want to see her succeed. And I think a lot of times too, women get caught up in, In this idea that there is not enough to go around, which is not true at all.
We should all try to live from an abundance mindset, right? There is more than enough for everyone. [00:35:00] And the more that we lift other women up and other people that are within our network up, all it does is elevate our own network, right? And elevate all the people around
us.
So the more you can do that is great.
Yeah. Yeah. A hundred percent.
And it doesn't,
that's why it just really surprises me when you ask somebody for a small favor, like, can you put me in contact with someone? So I saw on LinkedIn that you know them or, Hey, I know you worked with this brand before. Do you know somebody there would be interested in talking to me an email introduction or, you know, I can make a quick phone call for you.
You know, if it makes sense, I mean, maybe it's not going to always make sense. my husband works in, sports. And so, people ask all the time for things that don't really make sense. but when they do, it's like sharing a story that you want to promote somebody else that you generally enjoy or a message that they have.
It's 30 seconds of your life and thought to do that, but it can be so meaningful. So I love that [00:36:00] you share that because it's true. And I think a lot of people are really good at that. But I do think that some people need to be more conscientious about that. I've seen, I've seen that. And whether it's because they're too much with their blinders on in their own lane, in their own world, or because is there some jealousy?
Is there some of that, feeling that if they get something, then I don't? Working from a place of lack. so it's always good to keep that in mind. I love that you're highlighting that. Well, I know we cannot take too much of your time, Amanda. You are a busy mom. Before we got on you guys, we were sharing about PTA stuff that we're involved with, which is so great to create a life where you can make an impact on others, do something you love and enjoy, and then also be totally involved with your child.
that is really the goal, but I wanted to run down a, just a few kind of lightning round questions for you. Okay.
Let's
do it.
All right. So what is [00:37:00] your favorite face product?
Ooh, a
tough one.
Well, I'm just looking at your shiny skin and I'm like, Oh my God, it looks so good. What are you doing?
right now, I really like Il Maquillage. They have a power refresh moisturizer cream that I just feel like always makes my skin look really luminous and hydrated. And usually when I put moisture on my face for whatever reason it breaks out and this is the first product I've used where I've just had nothing but positive
results.
Yeah. Awesome. Okay. What is your number one go to healthy meal when you're in a rush? So you live in Texas too, right? Okay. So if you live in Texas,
we have this amazing grocery store called
H E B.
Oh, ATV.
they have something called Simple Meals, and let me tell you, I pick up far too many of them, but they have one [00:38:00] that is literally a piece of salmon with a small portion of mashed potatoes and green beans, and you pop it in the
oven for 15 minutes and you're
done.
I love it. and I do think about this. I've worked. all over the world and all across the United States. And I do think about how sad it is for people that don't have AGB. I mean,
H E B's a whole other level. I can't live anywhere
where they don't have an H E B.
whatever the grocery store, now it's not going to come to me. That's in Florida. It's pretty nice too, but it's just something about the way they set it up, how the lights are. It just makes it like feel comfortable. And I don't understand why other grocery stores aren't taking that in. Like, it can't be that complicated to get brighter lights or whatever it is they're doing.
But H E B, thank you. We love you so much. okay. What is your favorite pair of, or brand of jean shorts? Jean shorts are hard.
Jean
shorts are so
hard.
I don't even have any [00:39:00] because I don't, cannot find some I like. So that's why I'm asking you. This is,
Okay, so I
actually have two.
So if
I'm taking notes.
on the little more, I guess, I still wouldn't say they're expensive, but on the little pricier side, I would say Levi's 501 are pretty good. And then I would say, because of my size and what's available, I find that Target has the most options in terms of length and also whether it's high waisted or low waisted.
And so I would say I have at least, I don't know, four pairs of shorts from Target and then one pair from
Levi's. Because they're just, I mean, it's, I don't know, all
the ones in my closet, Target, by
far the best.
I can say that. I think these are probably not gonna say the brand right? You might know a goldie a gold a [00:40:00] g o
l d
Gold.
Yes, maybe that's
it
It's AG. Yeah.
so I have seen those on Many of my mom friends and they look so good. I just, I don't know. They're like 200. And I don't know that I will wear jeans shorts enough to rationalize 200, but those are high end ones that I've seen that I think look appropriate for moms.
And I say that like, whatever you want to wear is I guess appropriate. But
what I feel comfortable in is I don't want it too long because I'm short and because, I don't want to look like a mom from the eighties and then you don't want your booty cheeks hanging out necessarily. That's just, I have three sons.
So, you know, it's finding all those components and I've tried on so many pair, but you guys, anybody send me other recommendations, but now I'm going to go try on target.
go
to Target and just try on some shorts.
You'll be shocked.
And if you don't love them, then it's like 25. So like if you wear them once or twice, you're not going to feel bad about that.
No, and they actually hold up
pretty well, which
Nice. Yes. [00:41:00] And any reason to go to Target is like just a good thing. I mean, Target is like H E B. It's like, they just created this era, you know, it's just something about it that pulls you in. okay. So the last question, what is the number one tip that you do give to new moms?
I think the number one tip is to not be so hard on yourself. I think a lot of times moms go into it and there is just this over arching feeling of I'm not good enough. I'm not doing it right. I'm alone in this experience. And so, what I try to tell them is you, number one, need to be, you need to be less hard on yourself.
This is a new experience for you, right? And it's a new experience for every mother who has a child, right? So it is a learning curve. And then the second thing I always tell them is you need to go find a village. You need to go find other mothers who are. If you're lucky in the exact [00:42:00] same part of motherhood that you are.
So if you have an eight month old, you need to go find another mom with an eight month old. And that might be awkward, but there are, and I talk about it in my book too. There are so many different ways that you can find other mothers that have children of similar age and. And it just makes everything that much easier because when you can say, Oh, has your child's ear ever turned red?
Do you think it's an ear infection or do you think it's something else? Do you think I need to go to the doctor about this? Do you think, what's been your experience? Just being able to compare experiences with. Other mothers is invaluable information and it's even better if you have like a group text, right?
If you can find three or four moms that you go on park play dates with or, once they go to school that you have coffee dates with, it gives you such a sense of community [00:43:00] that is just a necessary
part of having a child.
Absolutely. And I think just being a woman, to be honest, I mean, there, I just have noticed, like, you know, there's so much that I want to talk about, when my husband gets home or other things going on, I That he doesn't feel the same about, he doesn't want to share in the same detail or the same way.
And so having moms and women around me, not all of them are actually moms, but just having other women around me to listen in a different way. to be supportive, to help, or to, sometimes complain about what's going on with your husband or your children, occasionally you just need to get it off your chest, but I agree.
I could not, I remember being a young person, a young woman and thinking like, I don't need anybody. I can do everything on my own. I'm totally self sufficient and I'm not. and I never was meant to be that way. And the, when. I found people exactly like what you're talking about. It [00:44:00] made such a huge positive impact on my life that, I try to be the same for other people and other moms.
because I know the difference it could make.
Yeah,
and I, the other thing I have to say too is
women, for whatever reason, do not, in general, like asking for help, right? And I feel like the more you ask for help, the easier your motherhood experience is. So as much as that may be uncomfortable, and maybe you're someone who's really type A and does not want to ask for help, which was definitely me in the beginning, the more you're just shooting yourself in the foot.
Right. So it just kind of gets worse and worse. I mean, I think that's how, like I said, I had a ton of postpartum anxiety. I didn't leave the house basically for the first eight weeks. I wouldn't let anybody see my son. And I think I was a little bit, crazy is the wrong word, but I was extremely, sensitive to everything.
And [00:45:00] had I just been willing to accept some help and ask for more help, I feel like my experience, especially at the beginning would have been so much more enjoyable and rich and easy if I had done that. So I always try to also tell moms, not only do you find your friends, but ask them for help.
Right. it's important to say, you know what I am. I don't know. Okay. The baby pooped all over me. I can't get there in this time. Can you bring me wipes? Like just ask for those simple things that sometimes you feel like, oh, maybe I need to go run to the store now and that's going to take me 30 more minutes.
Just ask
your friends for help. They're there for a
reason.
I will tell you guys, even when they get older, I texted one of my best friends the other day who has similar age children. I had something going on with my other two kids, but my one kid. And my husband and I were trying to have a half day alone at our own house. Woo. And I just texted and said, would you love the benefit of my child for six hours today? [00:46:00] And she said, sure. he's such an angel when he's in our house. He entertains my kids. Why not? But I had to make the ask, and it was no problem. And it's just vice versa. We're all here for that. Sometimes you just need it some time away. Don't be afraid to ask. I love it. Everybody, you can check out Amanda's book, The New Mom Code.
We will have a link to it. just awesome reviews, awesome book, awesome stuff. We will have links to Amanda's, the rest of her, social media and everywhere else you want to find Amanda and check her out. She has so much amazing things to share, a fun Instagram, and I've just enjoyed this so much. This was wonderful.
Thank you so much for your time today.
Thank you so much for
having me.
So everybody else, Think about it. Where can you improve your community? Where can you make some changes that will help [00:47:00] be a positive impact for your life and also where you can be a positive impact for other people because we were not meant to do life on our own.
So until the next time, keep getting clear, keep rooting into your dreams. I'm cheering for you. We'll see you later.