Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
Greetings, Carl here.
This podcast is super simple, it's me wandering through the world noticing things about how to align my use of capital (time and money) with what is actually important to me.
-Carl
Good morning. It's Carl. I thought I'd continue the theme of yesterday's, and that's questions you can ask to have a meaningful conversation around money. And I'm largely practicing these questions over at 50 fires. The podcast I've started about money and meaning, which I think you'd love.
Carl:But here's the one I I pointed to it in yesterday's episode, but I just wanted to dive in just a little bit deeper. After asking about earliest memory, one of my favorite questions that's been so impactful is what economic class were you in junior high? Now junior high is really intentionally chosen for this. Right? It seems like junior high is the time where we're super sensitive about our standing and how we fit in.
Carl:Junior high can be really, really tough, on on for so many reasons, but I love this question. Now a different version of this question, I I've I've intentionally used economic class just because it really leaves it open. But I've thought about using were you one of the rich kids or the poor kids in junior high? So either way and what will happen is you'll get some answer, and it's typically a surface answer. Oh, I was I I don't know.
Carl:I didn't or, oh, I was one of the I was one of the poor kids. Now this is such a beautiful poor or rich or middle. Like, just any answer is such a beautiful opportunity to go a little deeper. And so my favorite follow-up question is, how did you know? Such so much fun.
Carl:How did you know? You know? And and if you need to prompt a little bit I mean, leave some space there. Let people think. But if you need to prompt a little bit, you can say, you know, did you have an experience or a a story?
Carl:And my favorite thing around stories is to say, can you can you share? So you're like, that word share and story together are so beautiful. Can can you share a story with me about how you knew? That's maybe even a better question as I'm thinking about it. Instead of how did you know?
Carl:How did you know it's so clean and nice? So I I I don't know. I'm thinking about it out loud. I'll probably try both, but it it is a nice question to say. Can you share a story with me about how you knew?
Carl:And then, of course, I love giving people an opportunity to make sense. So I I love sense making questions. So after they share that story yeah. I remember, and this is from one of the episodes. I only had one pair.
Carl:So I said, what, you know, what economic class were you in? I was one of yeah. We were we were pretty poor. Oh, how how did you know? Well, yeah.
Carl:I remember this time. I I only had one pair of jeans. They were those tough skin brand. And those of you who've been around a while know what I'm talking about, these tough skin brand jeans, and I only had one pair. And one day after school, I was or at school, we were at recess and playing, and I we're playing soccer or something, and I got grass stains on the knees.
Carl:And then the next day, I I didn't have time to wash them overnight or I didn't even think to wash them overnight. The next day, I showed up with grass stains. And the girl that I kinda liked was hoping, you know, would be my junior high girlfriend. She saw the grass stains and was, like, do you only have one pair of jeans? My friend who shared that story, you know, went on to say, like, I was mortified.
Carl:Like, I just wanna crawl in a hole and die and hide from everybody. It was terrible. I mean, think of that story. And if this is your spouse or partner or or child or friend, like, think of the space you've just created. And then to say, call.
Carl:You know? That's such thank you for sharing that story. Like, I would be tempted at this point to say, like, can you remember what that felt like? I've loved that question too. And, especially, like, can you remember what it felt like in your body?
Carl:And another silly question that seems to really be helpful is in the like, do you remember what it felt like in your body? And then to follow-up with, if that was a color, that feeling was a color, what color would it be? That's been really interesting too. But then to the sense making question. Right?
Carl:Man, with the benefit of 20 years, like looking back on that, what do you make of that now? And here's a even more emotionally connected question. With the benefit of 20 years if you had a chance to go back and talk to it you know 12 year old Aaron with the perspective you have now. 12 year old Aaron's just had that experience. The girl says to him, you only have one pair of jeans.
Carl:Aaron runs outside and is hiding under a tree, and you get to show up. What would you say? What would you tell him? So powerful. Love this stuff, my friends.
Carl:I hope this is helpful for you. And, again, if you go have one of these experiences, I I'm on sort of a mission to generate a million quest sorry, a million meaningful conversations a month. That's the goal of 50 fiers. A 1000000 meaningful conversations a month. And so if you go have one of these conversations, will you tell me about it?
Carl:Just send me an an email. You can write it or feel free to send me a voice memo telling me the story. And you send those to hello at behavior app.com. I get so many of these from you, and I really try to listen to every single one. I can't always reply, but I I listen and read every single one.
Carl:So thanks for sending them. Hello@behaviourgap.com. Thanks. Bye.