Your weekly feed of sermons/reflections from Rev. Bri-anne Swan and East End United Regional Ministry, an affirming (2SLGBTQIA+ positive) and progressive Christian community in Toronto, part of the United Church of Canada.
[A reminder that sermons are written primarily to be spoken and are not a āreading firstā experience.]
Well, āHi!ā
Before I begin ā full disclosure:
Iām not sure how one is supposed to start their very first sermon as a new minister in a brand new community because this is a complete first for me. At my last congregation, which I joined during COVID, I had already been assisting in a very part-time capacity with their online worship services so most people in the congregation knew who I was before I was called. Iād already preached for them loads of times. I didnāt really need to think about how to introduce myself to a whole new community.
So, Iām at a bit of a lossā¦
And, although we have entered into a season of creationā¦one of my favourite times of yearā¦ and weāve had the opportunity to explore the sacredness of water throughout todayās liturgy, we also have some doozy scripture passages to wrestle with:
First, we have Godās instructions to prepare for the Passover and then we heard Marie read for us that warm and fuzzy passage about how when two or three are gathered, Jesus shows up for tea.
Except, the five verses before that arenāt really very warm and fuzzy at all. Jesus is basically dictating an instruction manual, laying out the steps for how to deal with conflict in the newly emerging community.
Now, Iām not really sure what to do with these passages, because I am sure Iāve arrived in a community that is completely and utterly devoid of any conflict whatsoever. Iām positive every congregational meeting goes smoothly and each decision made is met with enthusiastic high fives and āway to gosā....
All these words from Jesusā¦theyāre probably just hypotheticals when it comes to East End United, right?
And so, I mean, Iām the new person here, if there is going to be conflict or tensionā¦if there is any fault to point outā¦I suppose Iām the stone cast into the otherwise calm waters. So I started thinking, āitās great that Jesus has created an instruction manual for what to do if conflict arisesā¦but how can we stop conflict from happening in the first place?ā
One of many theories on how to avoid interpersonal conflict says that if you simply understand where the other person is coming fromā¦what their needs are and how they make decisions, so much conflict and miscommunication can be alleviated. There is a whole multi-billion dollar industry in self-help books and personality type testing theorizing that it is understanding of one another that can mitigate stress and conflict within relationships, within families, amongst partners and in the workplace.
And so, in the interest in avoiding conflict and then needing to resort to Jesusās many time consuming steps to conflict resolutionā¦let me just start telling youā¦a little about meā¦according to many tests Iāve taken over the yearsā¦only some of them on the Internet:
I am an INFJ on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator.
I am a Type One (thatās the Reformer) within the Enneagram.
I think I took the True Colours test in high school because the guidance department bought the kit in the late 90s. I was a pretty balanced green and blue.
My love language is Acts of Service.
Iām a S in the DiSC model of personality Types
When my grade 8 teacher told me I had a Type A personality, I wanted to know why I wasnāt a Type A+.
Alsoā¦my house is Griffindor.
.
So thereā¦now you know all about me and we donāt need to worry about any misunderstandings and conflicts in the future. Phew. Glad we got that out of the wayā¦
Exceptā¦this assumes you know what it means when I tell you Iām a green/blue, or that you know what a sorting hat is. Itās also kind of assuming that you should take on the responsibility of knowing all about meā¦because I donāt know if I can keep dozens of Meyers-Briggs types or colour combinations in my head all the timeā¦that doesnāt seem very fair to the communityā¦
So I asked my friend, who is a psychotherapist, how folks can avoid conflict in their relationships.
First and foremost, she said, is not causing harm to another person, either intentionally or unintentionally. Seems pretty straight forwardā¦ The 10 commandments can basically be summed up with ādonāt hurt people or steal their stuffā.
āBut how can we go through life guaranteeing weāll never hurt anybodyās feelings or, even inadvertently, cause them hurt?ā
āThatās just it,ā she said. āYou canāt. We canāt. We can never avoid conflict entirelyā¦ā
And so I guess Iām left basically where I statedā¦
Speaking of things that hurt usā¦a little bit of a tangent hereā¦
This is more of a fun fact about me: I have a severe allergy to bees and strawberries. If youāre worried you may forget, donāt worry, because the shed out back has just been beautifully painted by a lovely group of teenage artists with a gigantic bee and an equally massive strawberryā¦
In fact, bees have been a bit of a theme for me this summer. At the end of June, I came to this campus to meet Pino and Victor so they could show me my new office. After a full tour of this church I finally got to check out Room C17. Then Pino explained that one of the reasons they chose C17 as my office was because you can walk out the window and onto the roofā¦which is where they were going to start keeping bees. Lots of bees. In hives. Outside my window.
I didnāt need to say a single thingā¦my face did the talking for me. We started coming up with plans for screens, and a tiny sign that said, āBees, please keep out.ā But in the meantime I went back to Jubilee United Church and told my colleagues about the plans for a rooftop apiaryā¦and we all had a good laugh.
But last Sunday, as my former congregation sent me off to join East End, they presented me with this:
Itās a bee veilā¦signed by everybody who was present last Sunday in the sanctuary. There are a lot of āstay safesā and bad bee puns, you know likeā¦ just BEE yourselfā¦I feltā¦so seen. So valuedā¦and Iāve felt the same thing here as well, because as far as I know, I am now no longer set to become neighbour to a bee colony.
Itās actually really unfortunate having an anaphylactic allergy to creatures as extraordinary as bees. I love bees. Iām fascinated by themā¦ how they communicate with one another through scent and dance and sound. I love how they each know exactly what their role is. I love that although we call the fertile female Queen, she really isnāt the one calling the shots at all. But mostly, Iām intrigued by beesā complete and total commitment to the survival and welfare of the hive. Bees do not have an egoā¦no sense of their individual needs separate from the community.
This is such a common theme in natureā¦sure, a lion and a gazelle arenāt likely to be friendsā¦but there is always a sense of the greater whole. Humans are the only piece of creation that throws off the balance, who put our own needs before that of all other species, who take from the earth without giving much thought to what it might need in return. We as a species are in conflict, not only with one another, but with the planet as well. God is not only concerned with us, but all of creation, creatures great and small, flowering plants, flowing riversā¦nature is already reconciled to God.
Which I suppose is why weāre the ones who need Jesusā instruction manual. I thinkā¦I think I might have gotten this all wrong. Jesus isnāt just talking about how to deal with conflict or to prevent conflict from happening. Because we are human. Because we are fallible. And sometimesā¦sometimes conflict is actually healthy. However, I think Jesusā point here is that when there is conflict, that reconciliation is always the ultimate goalā¦that being reconciled to one another is the most important thing in community. Even when Jesus says, āIf the member refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if the offender refuses to listen even to the church, let such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.ā Because how did Jesus treat Gentiles and Tax collectors?? He continually invited them back into communityā¦invites US back into reconciled community, over and over again.
I know Susan and Julian have been asking each of you to write me a letter, so that I can get to know you. Iāve invited folks to ask me questions so that you can get to know me as well...beyond what Myers-Briggs has to say. This is not an exercise in trying to fend off conflict, but a way for us to sink into being community together intentionally and authentically.
I am really very glad to be your minister.
I am so very blessed that you are now my community.
I look forward to all the ministry that is to come for us, reconciled together and with God.
Amen.