Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
The Noon Hour Of Madness & Mayhem can be heard live on KBEAR 101 weekdays at 12pm MST. Viktor and Peaches talk about a wide variety of topics depending on the day and you never know what to expect!
[upbeat jazz music] The noon hour of Madness and Mayhem, the podcast
Well, it's Monday, and I had a feeling that I would get an email this morning saying, "Hey, Victor is not coming in," or he, uh, he went home early. And sure enough, he went home early.
What did he do to himself this time?
Uh, have you seen the picture on Facebook?
I, yeah, I saw the picture.
You saw the cast? I have no idea what happened to him.
Did he trip getting in the hot tub again?
I, I looked at the comments [laughs] and maybe, dude, if it's, if it's the hot tub, oh, that would be the best video ever. Becca says it, it is on video.
Oh, uh, w- we need to get that.
But Becca doesn't have it. Victor won't send it to her.
She needs to break into his phone.
When he's asleep. He's probably gonna be sleeping all day, and also he's probably immobile, knowing him. Even though it's a wrist injury.
[laughs] Can't move anywhere.
He was already ... W- well, what, what am I thinking? He was already im- immobile before.
It's always something, but-
She can outrun him easily
... uh, everybody can.
Yeah. Oh, especially on a day like today. She can just run outside, and it's nice and cold and wet out there, and-
Well, yeah, he's gonna be scared of slipping
... yeah, he doesn't wanna fall again.
[laughs]
So he, she can just take his phone and drive over here, plug it into the computer, or maybe even just send it to our Google Drive.
We need that video.
And we can make a remix of it.
Oh, yes.
Have a, have ... What, what, what would be a great song? The ... What, what's that Gnarls Barkley song, Crazy? The dun, dun, dun, dun.
Oh, that would be good.
Have him fall to that every single time. You know-
Get, get us the video, please. Somebody.
There, there was a time where, uh, I drove into a snow pile out front.
[laughs]
And I'm sure that video is still saved on Josh's computer-
Probably
... in the K-Bear studio.
Yeah.
Yeah, 'cause I think, uh, uh, 'cause I was so mad that day that it happened. I was more so embarrassed but also upset.
Y- yeah, you're not supposed to crash into snow piles.
Well, I t- I took a turn, I took the turn to get into the parking lot here, and i- it, it was a snowy day, obviously.
Yeah.
Um, my, my ti- my wi- my snow tires were not on.
And I think I was running late, and so I just-
You were going too fast
... I was going too fast, and then so my car wouldn't turn right anymore. I'm like, "I'm not gonna aim for the car parked right there. I'm just gonna aim for the snow pile."
[laughs] That's probably a good call.
And so yeah, I went right into the snow pile. We had to get it towed out. It was a whole thing. I had to interrupt Victor's morning show, and it was just em- overall embarrassing. But at least it's not bad like spraining my wrist.
Getting in or out of the hot tub.
Yeah. Do you think it was the hot tub?
I do- that, that's my guess right now-
Oh
... 'cause I don't know any better.
That would be so funny. If somehow, some way he was in like swim trunks [laughs]
If it is the hot tub-
And then just slips out of the hot tub and lands on the ground in a weird way. I don't know. Uh, he didn't break his wrist, 'cause, uh, he would have a more heavy duty cast if he did.
Not necessarily. My neighbor kid just broke her wrist, and that's all she had on.
The ... Oh, what if he ... Oh, geez. Yeah. I was hoping he would have on the, the giant cast so we could all sign it like we're in middle school again.
[laughs]
[laughs] Just w- write HAGS on it or something.
Oh, yeah. It would be [laughs]
[laughs]
He'd have to cover it up.
I love how everybody was making the same joke in the comments. Obviously we can't say the joke here, but-
Yeah. [laughs]
... you know, it was, it was, e- even our, uh, big boss man, Kevin-
[laughs]
... uh, pitched in, which I thought was hilarious. Uh, yeah, let's hope, uh, Victor heals okay. Um, we don't know what happened, but, uh, hopefully he'll be in here tomorrow to, uh, tell us the story.
I hope so.
If not, we can just, uh, bend his wrist a certain way until he does. [upbeat jazz music] It's the noon hour of Madness and Mayhem. I am Peaches.
I'm FJ, and I hope you're recording this time.
I am recording this time. All right, we're pre-recording this, uh, at like, oh, before 9:00 AM this morning.
Hey, w- we're really getting after it today.
We are. We are. We, we always seem to get a lot more work done when Victor is not here. That's the funny part.
[laughs] Hey.
There, uh, there's so much more stuff that I can use without Victor's, uh, uh, Victor being an obstacle.
Yeah.
That's the thing.
Yeah.
And I, I, I saw Josh's email this morning even saying like his wrist was badly hurting him. He just decided to take the rest of the day off. Schedule one day of music, and that's it.
Eh, yeah. That, that sounds about right.
So I was like, "Oh, cool. I get the whole K-Bear studio to myself. I don't need to hop back and forth between studios to do certain things." Well, I mean, I still, I still ... Like, no, no, we're not doing anything on Z103 anymore. Uh, we were giving away tickets to AJR last week.
Oh, fun.
And that, that concert happened on Friday, so there's that. Uh, this week on K-Bear, we're giving away tickets to go see Papa Roach, Set It Off, and Autumn Kings.
That's gonna be a great show.
Live at the Portneuf Health Trust Amphitheater in Pocatello, July 23rd. We're just gonna give out the cue to call at any point this week. Just be like, "Hey, call now." Not right now.
D- yeah, don't-
Not right now
... yeah, don't do that.
I always have to m- m- always have to say that because usually whenever I s- I mention a promo like this-
Somebody starts calling
... people start calling in. Go, "Am I, am I, am I caller 15? Am I caller 20?"
"Hey, we heard you."
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But at least they're ready to go. At least they're ready.
That's true.
But, uh, uh, you know, Amazon Prime Day or Days, um, that whole sale-
All, all last week
... all of last week, that whole sale ended. And instead of buying anything, uh, that's, uh, beneficial to my life-
[laughs]
... um, like a vacuum that I so desperately need-
I, I heard about that
... um, I need to borrow my friend's vacuum again 'cause, uh, there's a whole bunch of crumbs from rice cakes and, uh, there's bits of paper all over my second bedroom floor.
Okay.
And I, I, I need it thoroughly vacuumed up. I tried using the vacuum that I currently have, this terrible $19 Walmart-
Those don't ever work
... yeah, i- it, it's n- it, it took me forever just to get a little por- portion of the room done.
Y- y- it's like an hour job-
Yeah
... for a five-minute clean.
And even looking at vacuums on the Prime Day deals, uh, they, they weren't all that cheap.
They're not.
So instead,
I decided to buy something that was, uh ... I shouldn't have bought th- this model. I, I should have just bought a regular version of this [laughs]
Now I'm really excited to hear what you got.
[laughs] I, I bought
a $60 trash can.
Yes. [claps] That is just what you needed.
I, it, it, it was on sale. Uh, it was on sale from $90 to $60. It has-
That, that's a pretty good deal
... it has the motion sensor lid
So I can wipe my, I can swipe my hand over it and it opens up for me
So it's a garbage can that opens itself.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
And so it's about the same size as my previous trash can, and I told myself I wanted a bigger one because I was frequently taking the trash out to the dumpster.
So you didn't get a bigger garbage can, it now just opens itself.
Yeah. It's stainless steel, too.
But it doesn't empty itself.
Because my, I, I was such a pig with the, uh, previous trash cans. I got rid of two of them. I, I now only have one. I'm like, "If I, if I have to throw away something in my second bedroom, I gotta walk all the way to the kitchen," which I do need to get my steps in.
That's true.
So I, I had these two plastic trash bags, so these trash cans, that were bo- one was black, the other one was gray, and the gray one always belonged in the second bedroom. This is how exciting my life is.
[laughs]
I, I, uh, it, it, it became a hassle to constantly go and throw away the trash bags that were inside, replace it with a new trash bag, to the point where I just started throwing things away without trash bags. And then all of a su- like, you know, a few weeks later, it's becomes c- the both of them become caked with, like-
Yeah, that's not a good idea [laughs]
... dirt and grossness on the bottom of the trash can. So every single time I threw away the trash bags after the fact, after I learned not to do what I was doing, uh, it, it, it just-
It was too late
... it was too late, and I, it looked, it looked like I was a pig. So I was just like, "Dude, I can't. I, I can't have these anymore."
So you had to get a new one.
So I, I walked outside holding both trash cans like I was Goldberg with, uh, you know, with them both way over my head. I, I'm sure my next-door neighbor saw me 'cause she had her window wide open, her patio door wide open.
[laughs]
And I just chucked them right into the dumpster. I think I missed the first one, and so I had to go back, be that, be that moron that, like, you know, tried throwing it from a distance to get it into the dumpster.
Yeah.
And then it falls out of the dumpster, and I go, "Ah," you know, and I start cussing. [laughs]
[laughs]
And then I, and then I have to go rebound and get it back in there. Um, yeah, so then I went on Amazon. I'm like, "You know what? I'll pull the trigger." I even used it on a new, on a new credit card.
Ooh, yeah.
I bought the $60 trash can. So it arrives today.
And it's gonna open itself.
It's gonna open itself. Well, the th- the thing that's dumb about Amazon is that you have to click this button for them to hide exactly what you bought.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Like, like if you buy a new air fryer, it's, and you don't click that button, it's gonna come into a box that has, "Hey, air fryer in here"-
Oh, yeah, yeah
... on the outside of the box.
It advertises what it is.
So those porch pirates can easily see. Luckily, my front door is extremely hard to find. The reason why I know that is because every time I order DoorDash, I, I watch the little, the little blip, the little car-
Go all the way around your building
... go all the way around my building. I, I ran into a few listeners at the laundromat yesterday.
Yeah.
I ran into three different listeners that were like, "Hey, are you Peaches?" [laughs]
[laughs]
So one, the first guy was like, "Yeah, y- you must live around here. You live in those buildings?" And I was like, "How do you know where I live, dude?" Like, he, he just knew automatically.
Because of your DoorDash stories.
Because, because my DoorDash story is also me saying my front door is hard to find.
[laughs]
It's not a challenge. [laughs] There was one time I did order DoorDash, and the driver was like, "Peaches, love the show." [laughs] He sent me a message on the app and said-
What a nice guy. [laughs]
Yeah, dude, it's nice being a local celebrity. Gotta love it. You'll, you'll be there someday, FJ. Hopefully people-
I hope not. [laughs]
Hopefully people start recognizing you in the worst of places. I was dressed like a bum yesterday. I had on this, uh, T-shirt that was given to me that has, like, this stereotypical graphic. You know how there, y- you know how there are those fat guy T-shirts that are just-
Oh, of course I do
... the worst graphic T-shirts known to man. It's like-
Yeah
... the movie poster for Lilo & Stitch, but it's obviously way too small.
Uh-huh.
And the rest of the shirt is just the fabric, and you just, it, it just looks awful.
Yeah.
It looks, it looks like a truck cover w- with a-
[laughs]
... with a T-shirt design in one of the corners.
Yeah.
Yeah, it, it's, it's awful. So the guy, the, one of the guys complimented me on it. I'm like, dude, I'm wearing my basketball shorts and this dumb T-shirt, 'cause I'm, I was in the middle of, uh... I, I think I just came back from the gym, too, so I was smelling bad.
Oh, nice. He caught you at a good moment.
Yeah, and I'm... That's when I get recognized, too. I, I, some, one time I went into WinCo wearing my AC/DC slippers and my basketball shorts
a- a- and j- it's the, always my bum outfits people recognize me. "Oh, look, there's Peaches," you know? I, I bet they think I don't get paid around here. [laughs]
[laughs]
Autumn Keynes, you can see that band live July 23rd, opening up for Set It Off and Papa Roach at the Portneuf Health Trust Amphitheatre in Pocatello. We're giving away tickets for that show all this week. Just listen for the cue to call. Not right now, though. Right now it's the noon hour of madness and mayhem. I am Peaches.
I am FJ. Yeah, don't call us right now.
Yeah, we're too busy, uh, yapping away here.
Yes, we are.
We're gonna talk about something very serious here, FJ. Um, uh, I, I know for a fact that if we were to do this, we would be made fun of relentlessly.
I'm ready to hear about it.
You know how girls will get this done and all their friends will compliment them? Usually with dudes it's like, n- no, no dudes compliment each other. It's always just, like, the worst insult known to man.
Yeah.
And then they wonder why men's mental health is just so bad.
[laughs] What are we-
'Cause usually whenever my-
What are we talking about?
... whenever my sister posts, like, a s- a picture of herself, all of her friends put the heart eye emoji. They'll, they'll, they'll give her unwavering support. One time I posted this picture that says, "I put the ugly in this ugly Christmas sweater."
Yeah.
And tons of people put, "Agreed," "100%", "You're right," "Your vision's not bad, though."
[laughs]
I was like, "Dude, come on. What's going on here?"
Yeah. [laughs]
Like, give me some, give me some, uh-
Somebody say something nice
... words of wisdom. You're supposed to love yourself, but jeez, man. They give you-
Come on
... some people, people leave those dumb comments sometimes, and it hurts, especially when, like, y- you're trying to, like, especially when you gain some weight, and then, like, you're, you, you don't have the hair in, on your head anymore, and you have a beard now. A- and people are like, "Whoa, old pictures of you, that, that doesn't look like the same person."
Yeah.
And then it makes you feel like, dude, what have I been doing with my life for the past five years? Like, that picture was only taken, like, five years ago. What are you talking about?
Yeah.
But luckily now we're both on the, on, on the up and up. We're both losing weight. At least one of us is.
I'm trying.
[laughs]
[laughs] You're not really trying, Jeff. You're just, you're telling me the diet's there. You're on the, the GLP-1, but you're not exercising at all.
Uh, no, I need to do better about that.
You're getting your steps in on Arc Raiders.
Yeah, and I, I haven't even been doing that
Uh, so
what, what I was wanting to talk about here is the fact that most girls, they'll get spray tans.
Oh, yeah.
If we were to do something like that, [laughs] it would just look like the dumbest thing ever.
I hope that if I got a spray tan somebody would make fun of me.
I, I saw a video of Blake Griffin, who by the way, he's half Black, right? His dad's Black, his mom's white.
Okay.
He for some reason got a spray tan, and he, he was bright orange on the Bad Friends podcast with Andrew Santino and Bobby Lee.
Yeah.
He matched the wall.
What? [laughs]
Their wall, their wall is bright orange. He was blending in. Tons of people were making comments going, "Dude, like lay off the spray tan."
Wow.
Yeah, I don't know why, if he, if it's because he's on TV now you're supposed to have one? I don't know. Uh, there is a place, there is a tanning place across from our gym.
Yeah.
And there's also tanning beds in our gym. I, I, I'm, uh, I'm afraid to u- use one of those things.
I-
One, I don't think I'm gonna fit
I'm too pasty white for 'em.
Right. [laughs] Me too.
[laughs]
Like, uh, that's the thing. I, I thought I was pasty white until I met some people out here that just haven't tanned ever.
Yeah, I, I just burn. I, I burn-
Me too
... and then I, you know, heal from it, and then I burn a little more.
Like, I'm, I'm a weak Californian when it comes to the, the sun.
Yeah.
Like my friend Matt, he'll just get darker. I need to bathe in sunscreen-
I do too
... in order to, uh, not be burnt after the beach trip.
If they could just make a pool of sunscreen lotion for me to swim in, I might not get burned.
Yeah, see, and then so, uh, getting the spray tan or... I- it just feels like the dumbest thing ever, 'cause then we're also, if we go to the beach, it's either we're like pasty white or we look like the Annoying Orange.
Yep, yep.
And, uh, I, I, I, I've tried using the sunless tanner, the, the, the mousse.
Y- yeah. [laughs] Yeah.
And it's impossible to put on by yourself.
You, you've gotta have somebody else do it.
You gotta put on the glove, but it's like, uh, who am I gonna invite over for that? Who am I gonna bring over? Am I gonna r- invite over, "Hey Victor, you wanna put some sunless tanner on?" [laughs]
[laughs] He might like to do it.
My friends Bryson and Charlotte, "Hey guys, you wanna..." [laughs]
"I need some help getting the middle of my back."
Yeah. [laughs] I have the little glove that barely fits. I have the little back thing that, that, that's, uh, like a wide cloth that you're supposed to like, uh, floss yourself with, you know? Towards the, like on, on your back-
Yeah. [laughs]
... to help you. Then I'm so worried I missed a spot that I'm afraid that if like somehow some way, like I go back home to California at the end of the summer and I, I've put it on a c- a couple times, the sunless tanner, and th- they all of a sudden see this white splotch, like a bald spot. It looks like, uh, Woody's head in Toy Story 5.
[laughs]
With, with the, the brown [laughs] and the giant white circle right there in the middle. [upbeat music] Wrapping up the noon hour of Madness and Mayhem, I am Peaches.
I am FJ.
I saw this video of this one dude in a grocery store, uh, chasing around this customer, blasting a particular song. And-
What song was he playing?
... it's gone viral since then, 'cause everybody i- is comparing this, uh, lead singer of this pop artist over in Germany to Cleveland Jr. And-
[laughs]
... it is, it, the whole song's gone viral. Like, it-
I'm excited
... and I, I, I'm, I'm thinking, because I'm now in charge of Z103 and the music that gets played over there, I'm like, "Do we play this starting this week because of the fact that this has gone viral?" Like, I have to keep track of those things now.
Yeah.
Like Oliver Tree-
Yeah
... his songs have been skyrocketing in streams because, uh, of his unfortunate passing. Plus his birthday, I think was, his birthday w- was today.
Oh, wow.
He would've been 33. And so, uh, i- I've, I've added him back into the library. I gotta keep track of all these different artists now, like all these different Top 40 artists.
Yeah.
People I've never even heard of. I mean, of course I've heard of Oliver Tree, but I haven't, I've never heard of Sombra, Zara Larsson, uh, s- uh, Pink Pantheress.
Yeah, I don't know what you're talking about.
I, I'm-
I'm not gonna lie
... I'm speaking a different language to you.
You are.
Well, s- s- s- uh, speaking of speaking a different language, this is the song right here. Du bist gut genug. Ich weiß nicht, was- This is not the part he's chasing around the guy with. I'll wait, I'll, I'll tell you when, when it starts ... die Welt sagt. Bleib einfach nur du.
It's so beautiful
Kitschkrieg. I think it's right here. Kitschkrieg. Du bist gut genug. This part.
Du bist gut genug.
Yeah, you have to play this. [laughs]
Du bist gut genug. It's very uplifting too, because I translated it from Ger- from German to English. It says, "You are good enough. I don't know what the world is telling you, just be you. You are good enough. You are good enough. You are good enough. You are good enough." [laughs] Uh, yeah. "I'll never be fair to myself, because I'll never be fair to myself." Hmm.
"I'll be good enough. You are good enough."
Th- that is very uplifting.
Yeah. And then, but it just sounds super annoying. Ooh. Du bist gut genug.
It is really annoying.
[laughs]
Ooh. [upbeat music] There we go.
Oh, yeah.
The Jeff Show.
Ooh.
We're fist bumping in here.
It's nice.
It's gonna be stuck in my head the rest of the day.
Yuh.
Du bist gut genug.
What if I just chased you around the office playing this?
I would run and hide. [laughs]
[laughs]
I think, uh, the song scares me. It's too uplifting. [upbeat music]
The noon hour of Madness and Mayhem is a production of Riverbend Media Group. For more information or to contact the show, visit riverbendmediagroup.com. [upbeat music]