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Join James Petrossi in 'Leave the Feed: 30 Days of Disconnect' as he interviews creators and mental health advocates about their journeys, the digital quagmire, and tips to create a healthier relationship with social media.
[00:00:00]
James Petrossi: Hello and welcome to Leave the Feed 30 Days of Disconnect. Today is day 27. I'm getting near the end, but a nice new beginning with a great guest to talk about collaboration. Fiona Frills. Fiona, welcome to the show.
Fiona Frills: So excited to to chat.
James Petrossi: Yeah. Now your creator journey started unfolding at a very young age, and you've been into acting, community, entrepreneurship, collaboration. Like how did this whole thing and, and how did you get down the road into beauty and where you are today?
Fiona Frills: Well, God, it, it started a while ago. I'll do a little rewind. I'll try to make it brief so it's not too boring for anyone listening. But I [00:01:00] started when I. Was actually about seven. That's when I started acting and modeling mainly through actually improv. I thought improv was really interesting. My mom was like, okay, well we'll put you in improv if you really like it, like you can keep going.
And then that really, that led me to just loving to speak randomly at like all times, which. I feel so terrible for my parents 'cause we had a small, small house and they just heard me talking up a storm to my computer actually. And I was recording on photo booth talking about duct tape wallets, talking about beauty, you name it, I was talking about it and I loved filming and just the, the creative expression I got from it was, was wonderful.
And it made me also feel less alone 'cause I was homeschooled. And then. I started uploading those videos to YouTube right around the age of 10. So my mom helped me upload. I did not know how to upload a YouTube video. I was like, mom, how does this work? And it was very different then. Nothing looked the way it does [00:02:00] today.
So I had my mom's help with uploading and then I learned how to edit and that's really where my consistency came in. And my like true love for, for social media and community and connecting with people started.
James Petrossi: That's awesome. So when did you go through the transition? Of acting, then getting more into beauty and starting of this journey down skincare.
Fiona Frills: So, you know, I, when I was doing acting, I remember like the auditions being on set. Of course, being on set is like the most fun part. But what I really disliked about acting versus social media and YouTube was the ability to just. Be yourself, which acting obviously is literally playing a role, but it's beyond that.
Like that's the fun part of acting. The not so fun part is when a producer or when a casting director is kind of like criticizing you right in front of you and if you don't fit a role that they have in their [00:03:00] head, you're not gonna get the role And it's, it is kind of looks. Like, there's looks, there's personality and whatnot, but I really just wanted to be able to be myself and YouTube.
Let me do that. So I stopped acting right around 12 and that's when my YouTube channel was starting to like take off and, and pick up on views. And my, my content then was centered around like DIYs beauty testing things. And it really started to grow and flourish when I was doing like. Teen Girl, like a grow up series kind of.
So I documented the whole entire, like, growing up experience as a girl. So the first time I got my nails done, the first time I got my hair done the first time, I like did like some crazy makeup. I tried to look like Kylie Jenner or something. But I just loved documenting the, the growing up experience, especially as a girl.
James Petrossi: Obviously YouTube is an entrepreneurial spirit, but then you took it a step further and started your own line, [00:04:00] and how did that come to fruition and what were some of the challenges that you face being a young entrepreneur and you probably still face 'em today?
I.
Fiona Frills: Yeah. So I was filming these beauty videos and I was testing a lot of products. My skin started breaking out really, really badly. And I was like, what do I do? Like this is my, like, I love applying makeup. This is so fun. Like is it causing my acne? Like what? Or am I just getting older teenage acne?
What is it? So I started researching and I researched the ingredients and the products I was using, and I was like. Oh my God, what? I should not apply these products. So I go down another rabbit hole like, Hey, where are like our teenage products? Boom. Claire's pops up. Claire's is like the worst ingredients on the market.
They use lead and tons of other really toxic ingredients. So I had the idea like, Hey mom, can I invest all the money I've made from YouTube and create my own line specifically for [00:05:00] teenagers? So that's how it started. And finding labs. Creating custom formulas. That was definitely interesting for a, like a 12, 13-year-old to trying to communicate to a like 30-year-old person working in r and d.
Like they definitely were like, does this girl really know what she's talking about? It, there was some like communication issues, but at the same time, I think people forget like. A 13-year-old, like we know what's going on. Like we, we might not be able to articulate it like perfectly or we don't have the experience, but we have an idea and that is really, really important if you keep holding onto it.
James Petrossi: So let's go back a little bit to when you are acting, and obviously people want you to fit a, a role, a casting director, and they'll criticize you or make comments about you and you hear them, and then in social media. putting yourself out there and you're at a vulnerable time in your life coming of age, going through these different Right. And obviously there's connection and community, but there's also probably [00:06:00] some like inner turmoil that comes from being on social media. And what are some of the experiences that you had with your mental health and how have you persevered and overcome them?
Fiona Frills: Yeah, so, you know, the, the acting part and the YouTube part, they're very different for me, like the, the mental struggles I had. For acting, it was really being like, pinned up against people. Like, and compared in a room, like when you get to like the, the callback stage when there's only like 10 of you, you're, you're literally going in and out, like they're just comparing you to one another.
So you're looking at the person being like, does that person like look better for the part, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. So like, there's like that analyzing element that I think I learned at a really young age, which isn't really good, but I've, I've gotten better at it. I don't, I don't. I don't think looks are everything.
And then like that was a lot of what I was thinking about was like, does this person look the part? But when it comes to like YouTube and social media, the hardest part for me, especially [00:07:00] at that like young age of like 13 to 15 was privacy. I lived in a relatively small town and YouTube social media was not cool then like that.
It is nothing to like where it is now where TikTok is kind of cool and I think. People still to this day, definitely get made fun of for it, but. I hated being recorded in public. That really bugged me. So I still have paranoia, paranoia, paranoia to this day. It was, it's just I always feel like someone's like watching me or like, it's just a weird, weird feeling having your privacy stripped, especially at an age where you're trying to develop and like learn things and try things.
And it might be embarrassing sometimes, but you have to go through that. And that being like public. It doesn't feel too good.
James Petrossi: And what are the positive things? 'cause obviously you have a platform, you've grown it, you've built this beauty line like. How has it empowered you, and what is the bright side of social media [00:08:00] that you've experienced and continue to experience from it?
Fiona Frills: I would say. I mean, there's so many things. There's so many things. One that really comes to mind is just the ability to like, keep going and keep the resilience like it has taught me to just never really stop, like always evolve and think of new ideas to make something better. Depending on like where you wanna steer the ship.
But resilience, that is definitely what YouTube taught me because there would be points where like I'd have a really viral video. It goes like to 2 million, whatever, great engagement, getting followers, and then the next video gets like 200,000 views. And like, of course, like 200,000 people. That's still a lot of people, but.
In your head, you're like looking at the numbers. You're like, why, why, why? But you just have to keep posting. You have to keep analyzing your videos and really play the game. It's a game. You can't take it too seriously or take it to heart, which is such a hard thing to say, but it is true. It is a game. So it's, it's taught me a lot of resilience for sure.
James Petrossi: That's [00:09:00] awesome. Now, how do you step out of the game, like when it becomes too much and you realize like, oh my gosh, like I need to take a breath, I need to wind down, I need, I need to dis disconnect. Like, what does Fiona do? How does she find that peace?
Fiona Frills: Fiona goes to the beach. That's where Fiona goes. It is like instant, like beach. It could be any time of the day. I remember, especially when I was younger, around like 16 when I first got my license, boom, I'd beline it to the beach at like two in the morning. Like, why, who let me? I don't really know. But I love, just like, I love the ocean.
I love the sound of it. I love sounds like if, if something can kinda, like, tune out my own thoughts, like, that is great. So for me it's the ocean, watching the waves and just like being outside. If I'm inside trying to decompress, it doesn't really work for me truthfully. I, I have to be outside or with people who are like uplifting and supportive but being outside, I, I think everyone needs to get outside more and put down the phone, put down social media that always helps.
James Petrossi: [00:10:00] Now day is specifically about collaboration and importance of being good collaborators. The importance of finding. Collaboration in unexpected places. And you brought up collaboration, one story of when you were younger and you're meeting with someone from r and d, but have you learned about the collaborative process?
What makes a good collaborator and what do you like to see in collaborations?
Fiona Frills: There's so many types of collaborations and I think that without collaborations work would not be so fun. Like the, the element of like being able to create with people and. And listen to a different opinion, I think is, is so beautiful. I always, I talk about this a lot, like when you're just on your computer working like solo, there's really like, yeah, you're creating like it's you.
But the element of like connecting with someone else and working at the same time that's not always just on the computer feels so refreshing and so. [00:11:00] Good. And I mean, through YouTube I've done so many different types of collaborations. I like to think every video was a collaboration with my followers.
I mean, I, I always listened to them. I read the comments, I'd respond to people. I DM people. I love community. I love collaborations. We're actually working right now, frit my beauty line. We're working on a collaboration with an influencer right now, so I'm really grateful to have the influencer experience to know what they're going through right now.
She's a younger girl. She just turned 15. She's amazing. She's on fire. She has over 6 million followers. So we're, we're doing a collaboration and it's just been so fun to really hear like what she wants and make it come to life. But there's so many types of collaborations. But I, I, I truly love almost all, especially when someone puts their ego aside, like, I don't like collaborating with people who have like an.
Ego who really don't listen to you at all. That's like one bad collaboration, but we'll stick to the good. We'll stick to the good. I love open-minded people and I love [00:12:00] helping people make their visions come to life.
James Petrossi: But that's great advice to check your ego at the door. 'cause when we do step into a collaboration, we wanna make sure that we bring a sense of openness and we share perspectives, thoughts, and ideas. And don't try to put a demanding agenda on what a. want the collaboration to be, because then it's just a dictatorship, you know?
Super, super important. Now in terms of like unexpected collaborations, have you worked with anyone that you thought, I never thought this would happen, or like, this is totally strange, but it makes perfect sense.
Fiona Frills: Yeah, I guess one is something that we're launching literally on. Friday, it's a collaboration with our entire community of Gen Z Gen Alpha girls. We have 36,000 in an app. It's called TYB, and we all collaborated on creating a hoodie together. So like every. The single step you could possibly think of, we all decided on together, which sounds [00:13:00] crazy.
'cause technically the hoodie was designed by 36,000 people. So like that was unexpected to think like, wow, like can we all like actually collectively like talk about this and vote? And it was such a pleasant experience. Like I was expecting people to like argue with each other and be like, no, that is a terrible idea.
We don't want that. But it's, it's amazing how. Honestly, a group can like, be like, oh wow, okay. I understand your point of view on that. And even if it doesn't go their way, there'll be something that does go their way. And that's how we've got to this final product that I'm really excited to, to launch. But that was an ex unexpected collaboration.
I never thought I'd be collaborating with 36,000 people and like giving up like my like, kind of like creative role in some ways. Like, yeah, I was like helping with designs and whatnot, but it wasn't just me, which I, I really enjoyed.
James Petrossi: How are you shaping communities through your platform and what are you trying to instill in your communities and bring to your communities to empower them?
Fiona Frills: [00:14:00] Yeah, so I mean, our whole entire community is. Is all around empowerment, truthfully. I, I think one of the most important things is like kindness and positivity. We, we really wanted to make our, like, chat rooms and just our space really positive because there's so many places you can go to, like connect with people that aren't always the most positive spaces like TikTok, for example.
The comment sections of TikTok, I would consider community, but it's a different type of community. Ours' in specific, I really love. To have an honest space where people can ask questions and people can give really good advice that's like positive or just truthful. In a, in, never, in like a rude, truthful way though.
But I, I wanna empower more girls to truly, to pursue what they want to do. Have a place where they can go to like really connect with people similar to them. 'cause I didn't have that a lot. I mean, still to this day, I don't have a ton of friends, but I have a community. Like I have a place where I can go.
And I think I'm really providing that [00:15:00] space for, for so many girls. And also the element of learning about how products are made, how social media works, like just trying to empower them in any way that I can with my experience is, is really important. And then the constant engagement as well. I think it's so important to constantly be listening and communicating and connecting and reading and responding to your community.
If you're not active, that there's no community there.
James Petrossi: How do you think? Communities are reshaping how we think about beauty and the beauty industry. Are you seeing a new trajectory of, of how we share our beauty, talk about beauty and embrace our beauty, that's different from maybe the generations of past.
Fiona Frills: You know, that's a good question. I, I've been asked this before and I think that a lot of things stay true to this day, which some things I don't like. Like, for example, road Beauty by Hailey Bieber. A huge part of the reason [00:16:00] why Road is so successful is because. All of their models are super pretty, super aesthetically pleasing.
Their whole entire brand is just like a really unrealistic beauty standard. But it just got bought by EL for like, what, 2 billion. So it. Like that has stayed the same. Like you could go look back at like OG L'Oreal campaigns that is, has stayed the same. But I do think the way that people shop is significantly different.
I think that the, there's. There's, it's overwhelming to the like now, and I, I think, I don't think there's a solution. Which is something I actually have been thinking of, of actually building out and creating, especially for the younger generation, because there's so many products, there's so many reviews, there's so many ads.
It's overwhelming. Like at the end of the day when you go into most retail stores in specific, it's like, whoa. A explosion of color and labels and, and claims. So I think it's, it's overwhelming for a lot of people, but. They [00:17:00] love to listen to the people they truly trust and the, the people they trust.
There's very few of them. And I think they, there's just, there's so many things that come to mind when that, when you ask that question, so sorry if that answer is a little all over the place, but I, I think that we need to be filtering things better. I think even Amazon, for example, it's very overwhelming.
Like when you search one thing, it's like. Holy guacamole, that's so much stuff. Everything kind of looks similar. It's hard to know exactly what is geared for you. And the main way that people shop is through like, oh, I saw it on TikTok. Oh, I saw it on Instagram. But it's like trusted niche creators that I think really impact sales.
James Petrossi: So where do you see the trajectory of your business going? Like what's next in inside of this empire that you're building?
Fiona Frills: Yeah. So for Frilliance, I. I wanna build out an entire app that is a, the ultimate destination for teenage girls. So a place where they can grow, learn, connect, create not like social [00:18:00] media, it wouldn't be like a, a TikTok or an Instagram. But something that. Really would be special to them where they can like help build out their resumes, meet people who are similar to them, and that is like something I really want.
And to create a unique shopping experience in there with the products that we're co-creating with our community and with influencers as well. So we're, we're definitely, we're working on a few things. We're, we're in a a period of like, okay, what exactly, what's our next. Thing is, I don't wanna just be like a traditional beauty brand that is only in, you know, legacy retail.
I, I think that's like, of course, one route you can go, but there's so many others. And I, I really want our own home. And that would be an app that is very customized to this new generation, gen Alpha and then Gen Z.
James Petrossi: Awesome. Now let's go back to social media for a little bit because. There's some people that are taking a 30 day challenge and they're at the end of this. They only have a few days left. Some other people are just looking for some inspiration, like, how [00:19:00] do I have a better relationship with social media? What would be your encouragement or your advice for those that are struggling a little bit as either a creator or a fan to like put down the phone and go to the beach and find some peace of mind, you know?
Fiona Frills: Yeah. Yeah. I would say truthfully, when you catch yourself. Like starting to scroll a little too much. 'cause I think influencers do it as well. I think influencers do it for like research or whatever you wanna call it. Or they start comparing themselves and you go down this like kind of nasty rabbit hole.
And then on just like the, the fan side of things of just consuming the content. You have to set time limits. Like you cannot. Scroll for longer than like 10 minutes without really like it impacting how you feel because your for you page, it could just flip and it could become something a little more negative.
My, my advice would be to like put it down, which I know is like not really good advice 'cause it's like way [00:20:00] easier said than done. But when you do put it down immediately, do something that would bring you some sort of joy. Like don't torture yourself. Don't kind of try to like go on your computer and do a bunch of work.
Maybe like, it depends. It depends on the age frame and, and everything, but try to go outside. It could be to a coffee shop, it could be anywhere. But I like to put my phone down and go find some sort of community, whether that be at a coffee shop, a restaurant, a beach I mean, when you're outside and with people, you usually feel better than when you're inside alone scrolling.
So trying to reward yourself with something you like while putting the phone down.
James Petrossi: Now you mentioned earlier we were talking about road and you were talking about their models and beauty standards. Being in the beauty industry, has it been difficult for you? Not to compare yourself to others in the industry, and how do you maintain a self-worth internally about your own being and your own space in this world without trying to be like a Kardashian [00:21:00] or something like that.
Fiona Frills: I think truthfully like rooted in me, like beauty is just not everything. Like when you look at not saying like the most successful people are like the most important people to look at, but it's one thing to look at when you look at the most successful piece of. People in the world, they're not like gorgeous supermodels.
Like there's many ways that you can, like I'm physic, I'm only talking about looks right now. But looks are not everything. They're not. And when you're like confident within yourself about like your knowledge, what you're doing on a day-to-day basis, like who you're impacting, you feel so much better. Like I, I just don't focus on like how I look like Sure.
Yeah. I like makeup, I like hair. It's fun. It makes me feel like oof. On cute, but it's not the most important thing. Like today, for example, I like barely have any makeup on 'cause it's like I'm, I'm working, I'm doing things that I love, I'm doing things that impact people in a really good way. And looks just aren't everything.
I'm like, no guys. Like, it's just so we've been brainwashed. Thank you Kardashians [00:22:00] but looks aren't everything. And I, I always tell myself that truthfully.
James Petrossi: And do you see. Younger people that are trying your makeup or involved in beauty, do you see them struggling? Do you see some of them thinking, if I don't have this type of look, I can't be something. Do you think that's a barrier that younger people are facing still?
Fiona Frills: Yes, I do. I do believe that, and I see that, I see that in our chat rooms. And it's just, it's so hard to change the way people think unless they like, really take the time to change the way they think, change the way they talk to themselves. But I, I think history has always repeated itself in the way of like, the most popular people that they're watching are.
A little bit above the like traditional beauty standard, I guess, or in the traditional beauty standard, which is unfortunate, but we're making those people famous, so it's kind of our fault as well. Like you can't just be like, [00:23:00] oh, the pretty person, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. It's like, well, we're watching the content, we're making them popular.
They wouldn't really be anything with other fan base. So. It, it's really tough. That is something I, I love to talk about and post about is like when you work on yourself and you're learning and you are just bettering yourself, you will feel more confident and better. But it, it is the reality.
People still compare themselves on social media and look up to people really based on their looks, which I, I think is, is sad.
James Petrossi: Again, unfortunately, a lot of that's happening on such a subconscious level. even realizing the effects.
Fiona Frills: Mm-hmm.
James Petrossi: some final parting words of wisdom for anyone out there that's feeling blue about themselves, blue about their looks like, what would you say to them? What would you say about their inner beauty?
Fiona Frills: Your inner beauty is defined by what you do and what you think. So if. It will make you feel better if you like learn something that you, maybe it challenges you a little bit, but it's something interesting, like, I love, like listening to random [00:24:00] podcasts. It could be something that I'm like, huh? Like what is this Exactly?
But I'm curious like just tuning into your curiosity, learning and just having knowledge will make you feel better. Like it, it will, there's something about when you're having a conversation with someone and you know certain things like you just. Feel like, oh, I'm confident within myself, I know things.
And I can apply these things that I've learned to something that really matters. So I would say try not to focus on like your, looks like get a haircut, maybe like a haircut. Like totally understand. Don't go down the deep end. Don't go crazy. I know there's this whole like, looks maxing thing especially on the guy side of like social media.
But the best thing you can do for yourself is of course shower and like. Cut your hair occasionally, but please just learn and, and try to focus on your brain, not the external face. Please.
James Petrossi: Wonderful advice. Thank you so much, Fiona. You've been such an amazing guest, super insightful and very impressive. I really appreciate you
Fiona Frills: Thank you so much. Thank you for having me, and thank you guys for [00:25:00] listening.
James Petrossi: and for those listening, share, leave the feed with a friend. Don't be afraid to disconnect and have an epic day. Thank you so much.