Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
Are you feeling swamped by the demands of being a principal? From juggling emails, calls, and decisions to boosting test scores and wading through endless paperwork, the pressure is real.
But imagine a scenario where you no longer feel this overwhelming stress. Picture yourself as a more resilient leader, concentrating on enhancing your school rather than merely coping with the daily tasks that currently consume your time.
I‘m Barb Flowers. Drawing upon my eight-year experience as an elementary principal, with a Ph.D. in Educational Leadership and certification as a life coach, Along the way, I've mentored and coached school leaders, guiding them to change their mindset, set boundaries and focus on their own well-being while navigating their roles.
Each episode offers practical insights on time management, communication, overcoming overwhelm, boosting confidence, and fostering a positive mindset. We'll also discuss topics like working with stakeholders, implementing new initiatives, and managing discipline. Let's set boundaries, focus on well-being, and reignite your passion for being a principal. Welcome to "The Principal's Handbook."
I firmly believe that to be an impactful educator, you must first become a confident and well-rounded individual. Join us in this journey to empower and enhance your confidence as a school leader.
Managing December Negativity in Schools
===
[00:00:00] In this episode, we're talking about how to stop the spiral of negative teacher behavior before the December break. That's all coming up next on the Principal's Handbook.
Speaker: Welcome to the Principal's Handbook, your go-to resource for principals looking to revamp their leadership approach and prioritize self-care. I'm Barb Flowers, a certified life coach with eight years of experience as an elementary principal. Tune in each week as we delve into strategies for boosting mental resilience, managing time effectively, and nurturing overall wellness.
From tackling daily challenges to maintaining a healthy work-life balance. We'll navigate the complexities of school leadership together. Join me in fostering your sense of purpose as a principal and reigniting your passion for the job. Welcome to a podcast where your wellbeing is the top priority. I.
Well, welcome to the podcast. Today we are talking about managing teacher stress. Negativity and December behavior with the adults. , [00:01:00] December can be a really stressful time because it can amplify parts of the school culture that are already there. Some common mindsets that might already be there that it just gets amplified are like.
Teacher's feeling overwhelmed. I can't handle one more thing. They're tired, they're thinking I'm exhausted. I'm so ready for break. The kids are wild. So if you have any of these things happening at any time during the year where there's any kind of negativity or teachers are overwhelmed, it's just amplified in the month of December.
I remember. At one of the schools I was at, the secretary and I, all of us in the office would say, okay, we have to remember, it's like this every year, because we would forget how hard December can be with just all of the staff in the building. Everybody just, it feels like they're reacting to every emotion and just ready to be at everybody's throats right away.
You know what that can actually signal is emotional fatigue, right? It's the end of the year. There's a lot going on in people's personal life. , families coming [00:02:00] in, students' behaviors can be heightened because they're worried and stressed out about going on break.
There's a loss of perceived control. We also tell ourselves a lot of stories this time of year about how, behaviors are increased. , There's a high cognitive load, there's a need to feel heard, validated. There's need for clarity from the principal and just.
Feeling supported because I think by the time, the holidays come around, everybody's just tired, and a lot of emotions, a lot of fun happening, but that just leads to a lot going on and people feeling tired.
So I wanna give you three leadership moves that reduce negativity in your building this holiday season. So the first thing is when teachers are negative or complaining, validate their emotions without joining the pool of negativity.
So it's easy when morale dips and people are tired for teachers to feel like there's a lot of problems and they're bringing up problems that might have been there, but not really a big deal. And so now they're feeling like they need to be heard. And so [00:03:00] your job. Is to acknowledge their feelings. Don't get swept up in the complaints.
Don't feel like you have to fix everything too. Sometimes people just want to feel heard and be aware of whether the teacher wants to just feel heard, wants to be validated, what they need from you. And sometimes I'll just ask teachers like, what do you need from me in this situation? What can I do to help you here?
Do you just need me to listen? Do you need me to talk to somebody? , What do you need? Because it's easy as a principal to go and fix it mode, but sometimes people don't want you to fix it..
And so also validate their emotion. I can tell you're really frustrated, but don't validate the story because. Just because they're frustrated.
Remember your thoughts, create your emotions, which create your actions. And I talk about this a lot throughout the podcast. If you've been listening to the podcast for a while, but you know,, is. What they're upset about, an emotion that's coming from thoughts. Is it a story that they're telling themselves or is it based [00:04:00] on fact?
And so you have to be careful not to jump into this pool of negativity. So some things that you can say are, you're not wrong to feel frustrated. It's a tough season, or, that sounds really hard and challenging and I appreciate your honesty and you sharing that with me. , I hear you and we can problem solve this together.
Or I hear you. What do you need from me? Avoid. I know it's a mess everywhere. It's so crazy. Nothing ever goes right here. You don't wanna jump into negativity talking about the building that you're leading in a negative way, but you can compassionately validate what they're saying and their emotions and how they're feeling while still guiding the conversation back towards clarity, having solutions, having control of the situation.
Okay? So make sure that you are again. Validating teacher's emotions, staff emotions without joining them in the pool of negativity. So that's the first tip. The second tip is find ways to [00:05:00] create more energy, and what I'm saying is our energy levels really dip during this holiday season.
We can get really tired. I always talk about energy levels in relation to a week, and if I think of the week, like I come into Monday, I am so energetic, I have all this energy. And as the week goes, it slowly starts to dip down, so I always say, Monday's my most productive day. Friday's my least productive day.
, December is a stressful time. And so you have to manage your energy levels and just know that your energy is not going to be at the highest levels, and same with your staff. Okay? So staff need intentional, emotional boost. They're going to need you to be there to boost them emotionally.
I always say sometimes I feel like as a principal, I have to be like a motivational speaker and I have to give them, a lot of positivity and celebrate the wins and try to find ways that I can help reduce their cognitive load during this time. And it's really important that you give them permission to take breaks, to pause.
Maybe, , [00:06:00] you do something special for them during that time. Have a hot cocoa bar or something like that. You provide them with visibility. Presence. You're listening to them, you're encouraging them, , you're giving them that positive motivation that they need during this tough time. Now, I will say something, when you do treats or incentives.
Just know that these can be like little boosts, but they're not cures, especially when it's a negative time of year. Because even the best teachers, the best teams may not have a lot of visible gratitude when you do these things, and then it's really defeating as a leader. I hear this a lot from leaders, , oh, I put so much into what I do.
I put all this money into this. Breakfast for my staff and they weren't appreciative. So if you decide to do something like that, just know that not everybody's gonna show the appreciation that you want necessarily. So you have to set expectations that the purpose is for care for them to give them this little boost.
It's not this. [00:07:00] Magical morale transformation, or it's not to get a big thank you. You're so amazing, think about why you're doing that. So just something to keep in mind. Trust me, I feel like people should be appreciative, but just know that when you're like in cognitive overload, you're tired, you're stressed, you're overwhelmed, you might not have.
The ability to have that appreciation that they might have at a different time of the year. So just know that going into that don't have an expectation that they're gonna be very grateful for everything that you're doing. So that's just something I wanna say. The other thing, when we're thinking about giving teachers these
short term energy supports and really supporting their energy levels. Think about your own energy level, like you're going into a building that you have to lead and be able to celebrate the micro wins , and have the emotional capacity for everybody, right? Like if it's an emotional time of year, you are carrying the emotions for everybody.
You have to be able to regulate your emotions more than ever. It's more important than ever. And so it's really important that [00:08:00] you as the leader are getting enough sleep, you're taking care of yourself so that you're coming in an emotionally regulated state so you can lead this building that has so many different staff members with lots of emotions and a lot of things happening.
So just keep that in mind too, and just. Take care of yourself. So while you're supporting staff, make sure you're taking care of yourself as well. And I always, you know, at home, have to tell my husband, like, I, this is a really stressful time of year, and so I need to rest. , I want time to watch a Christmas movie and drink a glass of wine, like I need time to decompress.
And that's really important that you do that for yourself. And the third tip I have is anchor back to your purpose and your why. So you have to really anchor into your purpose as being the leader of this building and why you wanna lead this staff, even if it's really hard. You have to really shift your staff from nothing's working or everything's negative or kids are out of control to, here are the things I can still control.
Okay. We get caught up [00:09:00] in all the things we can't control. I know in my building, we're a K one two. When kids get excited, it gets amped up. Teachers will be like, it's a full moon. It's a full moon, okay, but what can we control right now? What is within your control today? And I had this conversation with staff in general of like.
We can be negative about all the things happening in our building, but of these things that we're upset about and we listed them all out what is within our control? And it was like one or two things. And so what outcome matters most in this moment? How are we going to control the outcome? And then also ask your teachers, think about if we had to pick the most important 10% that we need to get done during this time, what would it be?
It's kind of like what I talked about in the last episode when we're thinking about PBIS tier one and having unstructured time and doing all these fun things. What are those non-negotiables? What are the things that I have to get done? And then what would successful enough look like by the end of the day, right when [00:10:00] we're tired, when we know that we don't have the same amount of energy that we have in September or October?
What are the shifts that I need to take to have more energy so that I'm not putting all my energy into negativity? Into my emotions, into venting. Like how do I take any of that and just turn it into positive action.
So some things I really want you to think about with your staff is how can you help them focus on what they can control? Okay, so just goes back to their purpose, to their why, like why do we do this? And what are we here for and what can we control? So really think about that. And it's hard during these times.
It can be really hard, but you just have to remind everyone what we're here to do. We're here to teach kids. We're here to make a difference. We're here to protect learning time, right? Kids need adults who are emotionally regulated. Who stay grounded even when it feels like an unstable or uncertain time.
And when the kids feel like they're not regulated, they're not sure, [00:11:00] that's when they need these adults who are regulated. We always have to remember we're the adults. Even if you're dealing with high school and they're 18, we're the adults. Your brain's not even fully developed until you're 24. , And then also reminding ourself when it comes to purpose.
Our work still matters even in the hardest season. So even when it's a season of fun and it can be easy to just throw everything that we need to do out the window, we need to remember what we're doing and why. And with my, , building of K one two, I'm always like, we're the foundation. We're the foundation for behavior, for academics, and
we need to be practicing those positive behaviors, that we want those expectations, and we constantly need to be. Making sure we're giving students opportunities to practice reading. So even if it gets crazy, we need to be making sure that kids are practicing reading every day and getting feedback.
That's really important for helping the reading growth, right? So just thinking about that, what is our purpose here? Why do we do what we do and how can we anchor that so we get out of the [00:12:00] emotions of how we're feeling in the holiday season? So again, my three tips, just to recap. Or validate teachers' emotions without joining the pool of negativity, and then support them with gaining short-term energy
and anchor back to what your purpose is and your why in education. . I hope that you found those helpful. I just wanna end with some coaching questions to help shift teachers' mindsets. So if they're really struggling, just ask them what feels the hardest right now?
What is actually in your control? What outcome matters most? And what is one next step you can take? And then a follow up question is, what do you need from me? If you need more support on navigating challenging teacher dynamics, I actually have a product that you can get at the eight to four principal.com or Barb flowers coaching.com.
And I share coaching scripts to help you lead with empathy and authority, take you through different types of teacher dynamics. How to work with those types of teachers, [00:13:00] the kind of conversations you can have to actually build the relationship and make it more positive instead of ruining the relationship by having these hard conversations.
So check out that toolkit if you need extra support with that. Alright, well I hope you took some tips away from this and good luck in December. I know that you've got this, you are gonna do great. And I hope you take something from this episode.
If you do, please reach out to me. I love hearing from podcast listeners at Barb, at Barb flowers coaching.com. Share with me what was helpful and what you tried with your staff. Alright, I'll see you on the podcast next time.