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“If you had the power to change how you felt about something hard… what would you choose to feel instead?”
Grundy Eunoia Wellness Center’s podcast dedicated to empowering parents and their kids as they navigate mental health challenges. Through insightful discussions, expert advice, and engaging storytelling, we provide the tools and support needed to foster resilience, self-discovery, and emotional well-being.
Each episode features two segments:
🦸♂️ For Parents – Practical strategies, expert insights, and real conversations to help caregivers support their child’s mental and emotional growth.
🌟 For Kids – Interactive storytelling and discussions centered around unlocking their inner hero, overcoming obstacles, and building confidence.
Together, we break stigmas, encourage open dialogue, and equip families with the knowledge to thrive. Because every hero’s journey starts with a conversation.
#CapesAndConversations #UnlockTheHeroWithin #MentalHealthMatters #ParentingSupport #BuildingFutures
00:00:00
Welcome to Capes and Conversations, the Grundy Eunoia Wellness Center podcast. I'm Adam Kotowski, Clinical Director. And I'm Megan Rose McMullen, MS. This podcast is a conversation about mental health and wellness. Have you seen The Hunger Games? Part of it. So Katniss Everdeen has a choice, right? So before there's The Hunger Games every year, they have to choose a tribute. They pull from the thing and there's a name or whatever.
00:00:31
And in that, Katniss' sister Primrose gets pulled and she volunteers a tribute because she doesn't want her sister to go in. And that's her choice, right? And the perspective is she actually accepts this choice because she would rather it be her than her sister. And so when people are like, oh my God, I can't believe you did that. She has just like taken her fate and made it and changed her perspective. And I think like that's what we're talking about. in this episode, which is choice is better than no choice.
00:01:04
Choice is better than no choice. We often feel that we don't have a choice in many situations in life. Understood, there are a lot of things that our parents, our teachers, our coaches, and future bosses will put a lot of limits on our thinking, will put a lot of limits on our behaviors. A lot of it's justified because discipline,
00:01:35
we have to do things certain ways, we have to be effective. I mean, you can't go into a nuclear plant and work and say, I'm going to do it this way when you're breaking codes, because then it could be a disaster. There are rules and regulations you must follow. Everywhere. The expectation changes based on where you are. Correct. Whether it's school, on a team. I actually had a friend tell a story about being on a team in... they almost got scratched from all their games because they were wearing something over their team Jersey as like a joke.
00:02:09
And the coach that was on the event was like laying into the kid about how disrespectful it was. And some people didn't understand why, but it's a choice. And it, to do that, it feels like mockery when this is who you're representing. Right. Correct. And so you have to make sure you're making the right choices for that specific expectation. Now if you're joking around on stage or in theater or whatever, like maybe it's, that's a perfectly fine. Yep. Or with your friends or at the, at the park. Right. That's fine.
00:02:41
Joke around. Totally fine. Absolutely. But you have expectation at different places. You do. And when you have expectations, you have rules and regulations, you must follow them or else it can lead to very dire consequences in many cases. With that being said, when those are the choices that are taken away from you, when you always have, have freedom to, do is you can freely choose your attitude and choice and response towards everything outside of your control. And that is where our ultimate freedom is. We have the freedom to choose. And that's where choice is better than no choice is by basically our attitude towards.
00:03:15
it. Many times you'll see this with students and student athletes. You'll be given a role of what you need to do in the classroom, on the court, on the field. And it goes against like what you feel your role should be. You feel like, I'll go give my example. When I was in eighth grade, I played center. I was six foot one and I was pretty tall and, you know, I played a great in the post center. I go to high school, I'm a two guard because the centers were six, five, six, seven, six,
00:03:49
eight. I wasn't going to make it. I wasn't going to survive as a center in high school. So guess what? I had to completely learn how to be a two shooting guard. That was not easy. It took a while. So I have to. learn the backcourt. I had to learn how to guard people. I had to learn how to shoot. I had to learn how to score. It was very difficult. But if I was going to play basketball, which I wanted to, then I guess what? I was no longer a center. My freedom to choose had to be, I'm going to learn how to be a great guard. So with that being said, it is vitally important to realize that you are.
00:04:20
going to be instructed to think certain ways. You're going to act certain ways and behave certain ways. But where you are in total control is always your freedom to choose your attitude and response outside of that control. And you have to play basketball. And that's something you love. Mine, on the other hand, was when I got this, I'm not very tall. I'm tall for the average person, but not mostly. And so I have been like forwards. That's what I was playing. And when I got to college, that is not how, my height is not anywhere near. And when I went to the tryout on.
00:04:54
the varsity or on the team for college, the coach took me aside and he said, you're, And I can't have you as a forward. You just don't have the height. Right. And you can jump. I could jump. He's like, but you still can't make it. It doesn't matter how high you jump because you don't have the height on these, like, 6'1", 6'4", 6'5", people. And I was like, and he's like, so, but I can put you on a point. And you can train as a point. And I had never really done dribbling and all of that shooting.
00:05:25
Like, that wasn't my strong suit. Yeah. I'm aggressive and I box out and stuff like that, whatever. So, what I heard, I didn't hear the first part. I didn't hear, you're good. I want to keep you. But I'm going to put you somewhere different. I heard, you don't get what you want. And so, you don't, I'm not playing. Right. And so, I didn't play on college basketball, which is very silly. And also, but it was my perspective because I had believed that I didn't have a choice.
00:05:59
Right. Because I. I could only play the board because that's only what I've ever known. Right. But here I was given the choice and I didn't, I chose no choice. Yeah. No choice. I felt cornered into no choice. Right. But really I did. I made a choice. Right. And that has like haunted me. Yeah. Cause I'm like, but I chose to focus on the wrong part of what he was saying. Right. You're going to have to learn a whole new position. And that seems super daunting to me and super out of my control and super, above what I was used to.
00:06:30
Right. But I didn't focus on you're good at basketball. I could put you in a different place. And so it was just, it's, it's just shows you because if I would have gone from the perspective of I like basketball and I'll do whatever it is to play period or to be on a team or like whatever, then I would have, I would have chose something differently. But instead I was focusing on the wrong point. Correct. And I made a choice that I basically, and basketball, that was the last,
00:07:00
I didn't get to play after that because there was no real place to play basketball. Well, it was interesting. I had my 35th reunion with my grade school not too long ago, and we were caught up. A lot of them knew what happened with me in high school, but they didn't really know in college. I said to a lot of them, I said, I really wanted to let you know I kept my promise. I said I was going to become the best player that I could possibly become, and I went through college. I got a scholarship, and I played a lot in college. I played basketball and baseball, but I wanted to let them know.
00:07:33
I said it was tough. The road was not easy at all, but I did it. I made it through four years. I played four years of college basketball. I loved it. I wouldn't trade it for the world. I mean, I'd do it again if I could. I also think that kids sometimes think in a fixed mindset, too. The growth mindset is if you could use any circumstance, any situation that you get into, As something to learn and grow from and to take it as a skill, as opposed to as this is it, this is the end all, be all, whatever is happening in that moment.
00:08:11
You can go way farther. Because I think for me, one of the things that I experienced is that I was a gifted kid. So I had it easy. I went through school very, I never pushed myself. I never went into AP classes. I never whatever. I just did it. Any sport I picked up, I would just do it. And it would be fine. I'm athletic. Any test, any knowledge, it was easy for me to pick up. And so when it comes to relearning something and getting outside my comfort zone, I think it seemed insurmountable.
00:08:47
To what do you mean that you want me to be a point and a dribble? Because in my mind, I could never, I wasn't very good at it. And so when you think of it like that. Yeah, it seems huge. But like. So everything in your life can be learned. Yes. It's a skill. Yep. And with that, I always live by this acronym. It's called D equals A minus M. Discouragement equals adversity minus meaning. Now, when you choose, everybody's going to go through adversity.
00:09:19
Anybody that's watching this, anybody listening to this. Those are hardships. Hardships in our life. You're going to go through adverse conditions. It's just part of life. I don't care if it's divorce, death. Bad grades. Illness. Getting kicked off the team. Right. Choices you made. Now there's repercussions. Choices you're being forced into. That's what life is. Okay. Having to move in the middle of the school year. Yep. There are going to be things out of your control and things in your control. But where your freedom to choose always is giving meaning to the adversity.
00:09:52
The hardships. When you give meaning to the adversity you're going through. When you find a reason why you're going through it. You never get. discouraged where discouragement takes places is when you minus the meaning when you don't give meaning to the adversity when you do that you'll feel hopeless helpless out of control you'll spiral down so a lot of what we do here at Grundy and Oil Wellness Center too is we help you find that meaning to the adversity yeah so then it gets you out of that discouraged and despair movement and why this is important is because our attitude determines how we perceive stuff.
00:10:28
and then our perspective is what changes our attitude correct so if we can shift our perspective right example of this what I was telling you of the kid who didn't want to do track yeah hated it hate running right you know only looked at it as something I had to do shift that now they enjoy running and they enjoy track and they have really learned that like oh I guess like I'm aware of it I'm aware of it I'm.
00:10:58
I'm good I'm good at it, But it took practice, and I keep getting PRs now, and I keep getting better and better, and that has really shifted the perspective. Because at first, it was like, my mom's making me. I don't want to do it. I hate running. I don't need to run. But then I was like, well, baseball, you love baseball, you love basketball, all of that involves running. Right. So, but you're doing it a little bit different. This is training you for those things. Well, that's why, if you look at throughout the entire world, why CrossFit took over, why these races like the Spartan Race and Tough Mudders, because people are learning that they can do multiple different things and challenge themselves, and not one specific thing.
00:12:16
their parents get divorced or their parents decide they get a new job and they have to move into a new place, a lot of times the kid of the story, the, what is it, protagonist? Yeah, protagonist. Protagonist. Protagonist, yeah. The main character has to shift their mindset. At first, if they're grumpy or, like, don't want to do it, they end up, like, on the wrong foot and, like, whatever. And then you have those ones that go in and they change. They're like, you know what? I'm a new me.
00:13:17
No, no. The happiest people are the ones that are changing their mind about whatever's coming. Choose the attitude by having that choice. Choice is better than no choice. When you choose your attitude, things line up in line. You know, this might be a little bit older for the older kids, but Witcher, it's a TV show. I think his name is Gareth. Okay. He was born to be an evil guy. Okay. And they're like, oh, yeah, you can't control your evilness.
00:13:48
It's almost like werewolf or vampire or whatever. Yeah, yeah, stuff like that. Where they're like, oh, yeah, you can't control it. You can't master yourself. And he's like, bet. Right. And then. he goes out and he changes it in order to get out so he could be free, and I think that's, like, the hero mentality is, like, you're, you can tell me whatever you want, but it's my belief that makes me do it, so if I think, you know what, I'm going to learn how to control my anger, I'm going to learn how to control my power or my, you know, whatever that is, there's always, they always do it because they've set their mind to it.
00:14:25
Isn't it Harrison Ford? No, Henry Ford that said, whether you think you can or can't. You're right. Yeah. No, Henry Ford made that exact quote. Henry Ford, yeah. So it is a choice, it's a choice of attitude, it's a choice of perspective, and that's, to me, that's the key because so often we don't have choices in our life because of disciplinary actions, because of just the way the rule of regulations, policies, and procedures are. That's fine, but what we can't always choose and what our choice does take. Our choice of form is our attitude and response towards all of that.
00:14:59
Right. And if there are any heroes that you want to hear about or think about or, like, are your favorite or have some situations that you're dealing with at school or with your siblings or with your parents, we have a place where you can email us on our website so that you can send in comments, questions, concerns, and we can talk about them on our podcast so that we can help you with whatever you have going on. Yes. Anytime. Any suggestions are even anonymous.
00:15:29
If you have any anonymous suggestions that you would like, please feel free to reach out to us. And also, if you need some help, you can come in and schedule an appointment. Get your parents to sign up and come on in. Yep. All right. We'd love to see you. Until next time. Thank you for listening to Grundy Eunoia Wellness Center Capes and Conversations. We are a non-for-profit 501c3. All donations and sponsorships will be utilized to serve those who may need it and our services through collaborative care with our psychiatric nurse practitioners.
00:16:00
Thank you. and or our clinical social workers, yet are unable to afford it. If you would like to sponsor these services, donation links are in the show notes on our website and in our social media outlets. If you have any topics of conversations or questions that we should talk about, please contact us, and if you choose, you will remain anonymous.