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The Iron Lab Podcast: raw, real, unfiltered, unfinished conversations about trying to EAT, SLEEP, TRAIN and LIVE a messy, imperfect life. Support, accountability, fun and authenticity.
Coach Jo 00:09
Welcome to Perfectly Unfinished Conversations, the Iron Lab podcast with Coach Jo…
Coach Kim 00:14
…and Coach Kim…
Coach Jo 00:15
Where you ride shotgun with us as we have raw, real, unfiltered, and unfinished conversations about trying to eat, sleep, train, and live with some integrity in a messy, imperfect life.
Coach Kim 00:27
We're all about creating a strong support system, taking radical personal responsibility, having fun, and being authentic. And one of the most common themes you're going to find in this podcast is the idea that we create positive momentum in our life, by doing what we call b-minus work.
Coach Jo 00:45
We’re making gains and getting ahead and loving life without self-sabotaging our goals by striving for perfection. We get it done by moving ahead…
Coach Kim 00:55
…before we're ready…
Coach Jo 00:56
…when we aren't feeling like it…
Coach Kim 00:58
…and without hesitation.
Coach Jo 1:00
Be sure to subscribe now on Apple or Spotify, so you don't miss a single episode. It’s good enough. Let's go.
Coach Kim 01:10
All right. Welcome to Episode Nine of Perfectly Unfinished Conversations. And today, we're sort of excited, because that is exactly what we're gonna do. We're gonna have a conversation. Together, yeah. We're going to talk about the fact that we're heading into the last four months of 2024 and September in the gym world is quite a bit like January. It really is a time of kind of refresh. People are coming back after having the summer off. They sort of feel like they've been off the rails, much like they do at Christmas. And so, they come in refocused and ready to recalibrate. And the same goes for us as well, I think. And so basically, we created a list of questions that we wanted to pose to each other. I came up with some, Jo came up with some, and we're just going to work through the questions.
Coach Jo 01:58
Yea, we're just gonna have a nice, perfectly unfinished conversation today.
Coach Kim 02:01
Heck, yeah, Heck, yeah. So, I'm gonna go first, because first question up was mine. Where is your head at right now?
Coach Jo 02:09
Uh, my head is a mess, and it's only because I'm headed into a million different schedules. So, I have a lot of schedules that I'm running. I got a hockey schedule, I got a school schedule, I got sacred entry for a kindergartener. I've got the gym schedule I'm creating. We've got new class times we're incorporating into the gym. There's just a lot of schedules on the go right now. So, my brain every minute of every day is, Oh! Did I forget something?
Coach Kim 02:31
Yes, there's just so much. How do you manage that?
Coach Jo 02:33
I have a lot of Excel spreadsheets. You know me.
Coach Kim 02:37
Joely likes Excel spreadsheets. I like my Google Calendar. I schedule everything time block in my Google Calendar, but Jo, Jo is a Spreadsheet Master.
Coach Jo 02:46
Thank you. Thank you. That's how I'm managing, is that just make sure that I have everything colour-coded, because that's huge for me. I like to have things in color coordination and making sure people are communicated with that need to help at certain times. I think right now that's what's going on, is that everybody knows what's happening, because there's more than just me that's helping me right now, and we all have to be on the same page.
Coach Kim 03:04
Well, and you kind of had a bump in the road this week, because you…
Coach Jo 03:08
My babysitter got a job. So I've had a babysitter for three years, and she got a job in the field where she went to college. She's now an EA at a school, and I'm really excited for her. But it also left me with a lot of challenges, because I was grateful to have someone for three years who would be there to drive my kids, open the gym, or close the gym, pick up my kids, because my husband is gone. He leaves early in the morning. He gets home really late at night, or else he works away. So, it's been, yeah, a lot of juggling this month. So, it was kind of like a bomb kind of blew up. But, you know, like it. We'll get to it later, I'm sure, but it feels good.
Coach Kim 03:41
I remember those days so well, because they really are super challenging. As a mom who worked full time out of the home and by choice, because I wanted it that way. I preferred it that way. My mental health was better working outside of the home. But I remember those days where two kids, you know, you're paying for childcare, full time at first for both, then part time for one, full time for the other, and just the expense and the guilt and the struggle and the challenge, and I always talk about, like, trying to spend quality time with your kids. You do a lot, as far as sports and that kind of thing. You're really involved with your boys, but it's such a tough gig for parents to look after themselves, let alone a business, let alone their other relationships, plus still looking after their kids and their kids needs, right? And then on top of it, you're paying someone else to come in and help you to be able to live your life.
Coach Jo 04:39
Yeah, it takes a village. It really does take a village. And, you know, there's so many people that reach out too and are like, hey, I can help this day if you need help. When I made it known Coaching yesterday, they were so gracious. I got a lot of messages yesterday after coaching. So, it does take a village. Yeah,
Coach Kim 04:54
I think that's really important. I'd love to squeeze that in right here, right now that Jo and I often talk about with huge gratitude, how much we love this community of women and men. But you know, like we've got, how many members would you say we have? How many people come, regularly?
Coach Jo 05:12
Probably around 175 on average.
Coach Kim 05:14
You know, and we've built relationships to some degree with all of them, some closer, some longer than others. But every single one of those people is genuine in their understanding and their compassion and their offering, and it's just we're so grateful, not only just in that example, for helping you, but in general.
Coach Jo 05:33
Yeah, in general, it's been a fantastic ride, man, yeah, it's been a fantastic ride. Where's your head? I want to know where your head's at?
Coach Kim 5:40
Well, today?
Coach Jo 04:41
Fantastic!
Coach Kim 05:42
Today, my head is good. I've come through a couple of weeks of really mentally challenging times, and it's because we, so, Claude's Mom passed away in the mid part of August, and she was such a beautiful person, and we had great family time and the funeral. But my own daughters struggle quite a bit with their mental health, and there were just a lot of things that came up around that same time that really challenged them. And then, by default, me.
Coach Jo 06:15
You’re mama.
Coach Kim 06:17
Yeah, totally. And so today, I am in an awesome place, but I've come through a couple of weeks, um, A) I got jacked up in my trap, and then ended up like Frankenstein.
Coach Jo 06:28
You can’t see her, but she looked like Frankenstein. She was like one shoulder was beneath her ear for a couple weeks at the gym.
Coach Kim 06:33
I couldn't train, I couldn't sleep. I was in a lot of pain. And that's the second time that trap, that side, has gotten jacked up like that, but this time, I knew there was an emotional, mental component to it. It wasn't just physical. I'm such a fucking believer that you are not just a body. Like, your emotional state, your stress state, your mental state…
Coach Jo 05:57
Your physical state.
Coach Kim 06:58
Well, it's all connected. You can you it's very, very hard to have exceptional physical health when your mental health is a mess, and it's very, very hard to have exceptional mental health when your physical state is a mess. Do you know what I mean? Like, there it's you're not just one thing, you're not just one part. So, I was really physically, I was challenged, which then influenced all my habits, because I'm not sleeping well, and I'm a master sleeper, and I love to train, and I like to and I wasn't doing any of that. And then I was in my own head dealing with supporting my girls, but also like trying to look after myself with new habits, awareness, consciousness, whatever. So, energy, yeah, yeah, yeah, so, but right now my head is fucking good, and I love September. I keep saying to people on the floor, like, I love the summer when the summer starts, but about halfway through summer, I'm like, okay, everybody back to work now. Like, it's really hard to be…
Coach Jo 07:49
The routine is out the window for everybody.
Coach Kim 07:50
Yeah, so anyways.
Coach Jo 07:53
And everybody does kind of feel sort of like a mess, even one of our staff members coming up today and saying, you know, I'm just out of sorts because it's routine, and I'm trying to get myself back into this routine, and I wasn't that routine before. I totally understand we're all feeling like that. We want to make sure the routine is what we want it to be. We want to implement it at the right time. We don't want to forget something down the road. And we're all just thinking of all the things,
Coach Kim 08:13
And it's this whole aspect of I have to do it perfectly.
Coach Jo 08:16
Yeah, oh, and at one time! Every fucking thing at one time.
Coach Kim 08:20
So where, what are you working on? What are you okay, I'm gonna preface this by saying, I love your boys, not your boys. What are you working on?
Coach Jo 08:29
Personally, totally personally right now. And I think when I had, you know, the bomb dropped of my babysitter being gone, I sat in my chicken coop with a five-gallon bucket turned upside down, and I had my emotional moment of, like, what am I gonna do? Like the whole like, what was me moment? You know, where the only one who heard me were like 28 chickens.
Coach Kim 08:48
28 chickens!
Coach Jo 08:50
And, then I, like, stopped. I had this music playing. Was really nice, calm music. And it was like, Okay, I got that out. It was more, it was more like mindfulness. So, I'm working on being mindful. I had like, a moment in the chicken coop. It was like, one of those, like, your phone addiction, looking at yourself in the bathtub. I had a moment like, okay, that lasted maybe 90 seconds, like, I'm okay, you know, like, so it kind of was a realization that when things get tough, when moments get hard, and I feel like I just want to crawl into the bed, into my sheets, and not come out. It's gonna last for probably 90 seconds, and then I can get over it. So, I wanna be more mindful of my energy heading into those moments of when I'm really feeling that frenetic pulse in my body and I'm starting to get tight and everything is Oh no, another thing, oh no. My body just wants to, like, I don't know, rigor mortis almost like, like, I just get super tight, I have to realize, okay, Joely, like your brain is in control of your body, and emotions create reactions in your body, but if I can think a different way, it will create a new set of emotions, which will then regulate a different set of reactions inside of my body. So, I'm trying to start from the source. Which is the circuit board. If I can start from the circuit board, then I can work my way down. And also, I think with mindfulness, what I'm working on, it's pausing. You and I are both very busy, fast Gemini women, and it's so important for us once in a while. And I'm speaking from my own opinion, is that we just kind of take a moment and pause. Sometimes just pause..
Coach Kim 10:22
For the reaction…
Coach Jo 10:24
For the reaction or the emotional thought, or I'm gonna go do this, like, just, can you pause for a fucking second, Joely? And when I pause, that's what I'm like, it's not that bad. Like, and I found that in the chicken coop I paused, it was not that bad.
Coach Kim 10:38
A and all I was trying to do was keep them from shitting in the nesting box.
Coach Jo 10:42
These bitches need to get on the roost and they're sleeping in the nesting box.
Coach Kim 10:46
Oh, man, I think that's so funny. 28 chickens, God love you. It’s though you're like the pied piper of chickens.
Coach Jo 10:52
I love it. Anyways, I'll, I was gonna say that like, I just had Mason in there, and he was mom take a picture of me, and he was hugging on to all the chickens. And the chickens and the chickens just like, trying to get out. I just love it. I'm like, I love that. I'm raising these kids that are in there, yeah, hugging animals, you know, yeah, I love it. Okay, so what are you working on personally, after all that?
Coach Kim 11:13
So, after the last couple weeks so had this, I'm always just aiming for awareness for myself. And, over the last year, I've had a couple of things happen in my home relationships, one with my husband, one with my kids, my girls, where I have discovered that I am, by nature, a people pleaser. And what that means in and how it shows up in my life is that I say yes, yes, I can Yes, you bet I can more with my kids and my husband. And I probably should preface that a little bit like, poor guy. But what happens is I say, yes, yes, I can do that. Yes, I'll be there. Yes, you can come. Yes, I can help that with that. Yes, I can do that. Until there comes a moment where I go, No! You know, like and so it's the awareness that I that I overstep my own boundaries, I ignore my own signals, and then I get to a point where I lash out unfairly because I've ignored my own boundaries, right? And so it's probably deeper than that. That's kind of the skim level. So personally, I'm working on emotional adulthood. I'm working on owning my own responses in any relationship and then consciously choosing how I want to show up differently than that, and I'm feeling super empowered by it, honestly, because I have been such an emotional infant in a lot of ways, people would disagree with that, but um, and it sounds kind of awfully judgy of myself, but I really feel like it's very empowering to not let my emotions pull me in any direction. Because, like, you were just talking like…
Coach Jo 12:58
How similar is this conversation?
Coach Kim 13:02
Totally, totally because, like you were just saying, What I've discovered is it's not my emotions that are pulling me around. It's my thoughts.
Coach Jo 13:08
Yea, they're not the driver of the ship.
Coach Kim 13:09
The thoughts are always the driver of the ship. And this is where I just am so fascinated. You know, maybe we can talk about this in a future podcast where we're talking specifically about thought, feeling, action loop, and how, if you just believe that you're empathic and a feeler and that you absorb everybody else's feelings and that you're a victim to your own emotions, you're going to be pulled around and do always be that you do things and respond in ways that that set you up to probably reap some negative or, you know, like, there's just an outcome maybe that you don't feel great about,
Coach Jo 13:48
Like, where you, like you said earlier, you're putting a lid over yourself.
Coach Kim 13:51
Yes, totally. And so that's when you say, What am I working on? Personally? That's what I'm working on, is I'm removing the fucking lid.
Coach Jo 13:56
Yeah, and not being an emotional infant, as you heard, you want to grow up in the emotional ways. And that's kind of like what I said, too. And I think we're always working on that, but also reminder generations prior to us. And even further than that, there's none of that. There was no emotions. There was no talking about it. There was…
Coach Kim 14:14
…a lot of stoicism…stiff upper lip…
Coach Jo 14:16
Yea, and it's still there in certain countries for sure, but I think what's been empowering is that we were more aware of it now, and there's a lot more education on it. And I feel the younger generations are moving towards that light of how they and really truly it is a positive way. If you can teach a kid how to stop having a temper tantrum, which, by God, it's really hard, but if you can master that skill, imagine what that kid will be like when they grow older.
Coach Kim 14:43
100% yeah, it's a win, win, win, win. And that's the thing, is that in the work that I've done so far, which is motivating me to continue the work, is that my marriage is is stronger and better than it has ever been, and he's risen to that as much as I have, but I can forsee where my relationships with my kids and other people in my extended life will benefit from it as well, in which case that means that I benefit. I benefit, you know, like, it's like that whole trickle down. So, yeah, anyways, so how are you setting yourself up to win these days?
Coach Jo 15:16
Well, I think whenever fall comes and there's a change of season, I feel the urge, just like you did your office. I feel the urge to change my environment so it feels fresh. So, on the weekend, the long weekend, the boys' rooms, I cleared all that out. I cleared the entire house out, on Monday. I'm talking baseboards, walls, like I needed that big refresh, knowing it was all done in all the hard areas of your home, you know, like the ones you're like, I'll get to that once a year. Like I did it all. Everything completely got done. And I know for me, that's what I needed to get off of my weight, because when my house is a mess, it weighs on me and it creates deeper anxiety, because I just it, just, I don't know, I'm that person who's always grew up. My mom was like a clean freak. I grew up in a clean like everything was in its place. So then when I grew up, I kind of inherited that, OCD-ness.
Coach Kim 16:05
Yeah, and that is that is totally cleaning is a control mechanism for anxiety, yeah? So when you feel out of control, cleaning is the thing that you go to soothe yourself. Somebody else might go to food or alcohol or whatever, but you go to cleaning.
Coach Jo 16:20
Yea, I love controlling that cleaning. So that was one thing was I had to get that done so I could have a better environment in order to feel inspired to create, and also to start my routine again. Of when we're in this school season of hockey and me coming to the gym and not really going to be home for most of the day, I have all my food prepped, living so far away from the business, having to drive now farther away for hockey in the same day. Now I want to get back to the routine of having all my meal prep done for the week.
Coach Kim 16:51
Why is that important?
Coach Jo 16:53
Because I like to if I don't have the right nutrition that I know is going to make me feel good and create energy for the rest of the day, I succumb to old and bad habits, and my nutrition goes out the window, and then I don't feel good because I'm eating shit food and I'm running here. Oh, I didn't bring this. I got to run there. Oh, I'm at the arena. I got to buy this and eat that. A, it saves money. B, it's important to have my food fucking done for myself and my kids, so that I am stress-free in the week. I don't got time in the week to meal prep or get food ready at night, time before I go to bed, like when my kids get down, like I want to go straight to bed. I'm tired. So, in order to have that done, it's got to get done for me on Sunday. So, and to successfully help me feel like I'm going to win. I want to have all those areas covered so my house is clean now. I can now create in a space with meal prep and everything's organized where it needs to be. My pantry was completely gutted. Completely gutted. I feel better about it. I'm Oh, I know where things are, so I feel more inspired to create, yeah, so that I can get back into those habits that I know feel good for me, and serve me right, and give me energy in this job that we do. I need the energy so I can't just go to Eastside Eatery every day.
Coach Kim 17:58
No, although that would be nice, it's still like, you know,
Coach Jo18:01
Yeah, it's luckily, right across the street from us, yeah. What about you?
Coach Kim 18:05
How am I setting myself up to win? I just I feel so good today, like, really, truly I am when I finally feel like I have emotionally regulated, I'm in a good place to be able to do all the other things right. And so that is just that, that affirmation that you gotta, I have to take care of my mental health and my emotional state, and when I'm emotionally regulated and in a good place, and I'm consciously choosing the way I want to show up, then I'm setting myself up to win through all the habits that feel good. Like I was saying to you this morning, like I'm right now I am so structured with seeing sunrise, putting my feet on the earth, drinking probably a liter of water, you know, as soon as I get up, like just being super, super conscious about grounding habits for my behavior. I'm really working on my circadian health, my circadian clock and so setting myself up to win when I get all those pieces right, everything feels effortless. And I'm not talking specifically about the grounding and the but, but I'm loving the process. And so, um, as far as food and workouts, like I really feel like that stuff is taking up so much less bandwidth in my brain, because I don't have to put as much thought into what's the perfect thing to eat today? What's the right amount of workout? How am I going to get in my workout? Like, I'm just not thinking about any of that stuff, because it's so second nature now, which is fucking amazing.
Coach Jo 19:37
That's habits, habits, rules.
Coach Kim 19:38
Habits rule sister. So I'm feeling really good.
Coach Jo 19:41
So what are you struggling with, then?
Coach Kim 19:43
Nothing. I think we already covered that with, you know, kind of like, where's your head at? I think we talked about what I was struggling with. And again, I heard this quote recently, or read this quote recently, which was like, a mother can only be as happy as her saddest child. Yeah. And I was like, oh, fuck, that is so true, that is so true.
Coach Jo 20:05
Maternal instinct.
Coach Kim 20:08
Well, and just just how it's a very natural state for a mom to be that deeply connected to their children. And when your kids are struggling, it's hard not to struggle, you know? And so when they're good, and I don't want to put any pressure on them, because that's growth and learning too, they're, they're doing it at their own time, and they're, they don't have to be responsible for me, to be mentally well, like, that's not on them. That's on me to be well. But you know, when they're good, I'm good.
Coach Jo 20:38
yeah, exactly. Well, then how are you bringing yourself back around to what's important?
Coach Kim 20:47
Staying aware, like awareness, staying awake to myself and what I mean by that is it's really easy to do, I think, fall back into old habits, things that feel good, like..
Coach Jo 20:59
Dopamine hits, like, numbing out on the phone.
Coach Kim 21:03
Yeah, yes, totally. And I'm just being really, way more like that, that conversation about the phone addiction. Am I doing it perfectly? No, but I'm striving to do better, and it feels better. Yeah, and, and so awareness is everything, if you can just stop blocking your consciousness. You know what I mean, like? And the analogy I often give when I'm talking with clients, working with clients is it's turning the light on in a dark room. When you get up in the middle of the night and you've rearranged your furniture, it's easy to stub your toe, and you'll be like, Oh, fuck. That hurts, you know. But if you can just turn on the light for a second and have a look at what's around, it doesn't matter if the light goes on-off again, you know where the problem is and where to avoid, you know? So I just got, yeah, yeah. So it's almost like, if I can just get a glimpse of, oh, there it is, that oh, there's the truth, ooh, that's what I'm doing wrong. Oh, that's where I'm struggling. If I can get a good handle on it, then I just keep that kind of in my awareness, and it just helps keep me focused.
Coach Jo 22:01
Yeah, like one thing I would want to talk about, about bringing yourself back around to what's important, how that translates to me, is there's always these weird seasons of the year. You could say, when I'm coaching a session on the floor where I go almost inside myself and I just judge very hard. We kind of go through these moments as coaches.
Coach Kim 22:20
Judge yourself?
Coach Jo 22:21
Yeah, judge myself. Like I, oh my gosh, I said the wrong thing. Oh my gosh. Why can't I be more professional? Why do I have to swear in class? Joely, what is wrong with you? Why didn't you, you know, talk to that person? Oh my god, that person hates you, like your brain does all these crazy things and bringing yourself back around to what's important. I always have to stop myself, because that, I think it lasts a couple days, really. It does. It kind of bleeds in for a few days. Is totally, people just want to be loved. They just want to be seen. And sometimes being seen is you seeing that maybe they're struggling and you just back off a little bit. You don't have to be so much onto them all the time. But also, some people need that love. They want you to say nice things to you, like they look up to you. They want you to come over to them, have a personal one-on-one moment. Yeah, you know, like, just fucking love people. And when you love people, then all of a sudden it that's what's important, it really is.
Coach Kim 23:11
100% and, and we've been talking lots about personal stuff, because I think that's where we wanted this conversation to go. But, but when it comes down to the business model. The business model is loving people, helping people to be their best self, helping people to be well, giving people a community to belong to, that they feel seen, safe, included, yeah, and that they can work on optimizing all aspects of themselves as well. And I think that when that's when you talk about coming back around to what's important, you're 100% right. That whenever we feel like we're like, this feels hard. Something's not working. If you, if we can just come back to, how do we make it easier for them? How do we love them harder? How do we help them get better results. How do we it always works out.
Coach Jo 24:03
And really with yourself, too.
Coach Kim 24:12
Oh! Or this is one of your questions, which is so good, who or what is inspiring you right now?
Coach Jo 24:17
You know, I'll go with my first gut. So my first gut of what I just thought there was, again, bringing it back to community, there's so many people who are going through shit all the time. And I know sometimes we talk about this, where we sit and we're like, gosh, you know, every like, things are so good, and like people are going through such a hard time outside of here, like people who are losing spouses, or someone who's dying a slow death with cancer, or someone dramatically loses someone hard like there's a lot of hard things going on with other people in the world, and where am I going with this? So, I feel that what's inspiring to me is watching people go through these incredibly grief moments, like incredible grief moments, incredibly hard times, and seeing them come out of it and find the strength, the resilience, the I don't know what else you want to say really with that, but you're the adjective queen. But they're able to come back and specifically members, and they come back, and they just get back to it, and they forge forward, or not even members, even some of family that I have going through it right now, seeing them try and do the best they can forge through it with what is happening with sickness in my family. It is tough out there. And what's inspiring me is that as a human society, we all go through so much shit. Everybody is going through shit. And I think if we can just be kind, I think being a kind human is what fucking inspires me, because then maybe it's that one touch that I said something nice someone, or that one even just literal touch where I touch someone on the shoulder and I say, Hey, I'm thinking about you, and I walk by like something, if that can make someone feel good, like that fucking inspires me. Yeah, I know that was deep.
Coach Kim 26:06
No, I like deep. Fuck. You know me. I don't do anything, but deep. In fact, sometimes I wish I wasn't so damn deep. But I The question was, who or what, and you are talking about what you're not even necessarily talking about who, you're talking about what is inspiring to you, and that's, I think, for me as well, what is inspiring to me, or what is inspiring me right now, is sort of on the same lines of yours, and a little bit different is that humans are going through Hard times right now, and I feel really deeply inspired by the wisdom and resilience of humans in general, from a historical, ancestral point of view, in the sense that, in the sense that I am I'm inspired to think that it is deeply comforting to my kids and my grandkids to have me be really common sense and positive, not airy-fairy Pollyanna, but like humans are resilient we are. This is how you take care of yourself. This is how you look after one another. This is how humans were designed to eat. This is how we were designed to live. like I think that that's really comforting for people in a world that feels bonkers, you know.
Coach Jo 27:32
And every 100 years, there's been three generations, and we've been around for 1000s and 1000s of years.
Coach Kim 27:35
And so what's inspiring me right now is coming back to ancient kinds of wisdom. This is how we eat, this is how we evolved. This is how we like. And it makes sense because, I mean, God, I got my primal coaching, I don't know, three or four years ago, but it's so, it's bigger for me, even now than it was t.en,
Coach Jo 27:56
You’re like deeply practicing those habits now too.
Coach Kim 27:59
I am and at 54 I feel so fucking good that, like tech, you know, new philosophies, new strategies, new superfoods, new super instant packets and powders and supplements and all that kind of shit. Yeah, that's out there and available. But don't dismiss the power of how we got here, and what's available to us inside.
Coach Jo 28:30
Inside and just the basics. Like the basics.
Coach Kim 28:33
Yea, why can't I just not fucking go deep? Anyways. Okay, so that so what feels what feels sticky or heavy or too much for you right now? Hmm,
Coach Jo 28:45
Well, what feels heavy for me right now? Probably in amongst the busyness of it all. Because, you know, I hate to say that word, because it feels like it's an excuse I'm throwing out in, on the altar, like I'm busy, but at the same time I am fucking busy. But in amongst all that, I do find that my partner and I, like my husband and I, we lose so much communication. Because, okay, now you're going here I go. Here. Yeah, okay, I'm going to bed goodnight. Like, I feel like I haven't even spoken to him much in the last four days, because we've been on different schedules. And I know it's going to continue, because this is the first week until April for the end of the season, and I know it just leaves out all that important time. So together, I feel it feels sticky and heavy too much with the busyness, because I lose those connections. And if us as a team, because we have to be a team in order for this whole fucking thing to work, you know, it requires, as a woman, I feel it requires more of that connection time, if it's a date, if it's whatever. So I think what I’ve been thinking about is that I want to start booking actual date night, like making the time for us to spend time together and find those dates that work for us, because if not, it's going to be another entire season, and we're going to just going to probably drift further and further apart and not know each other until the end again. And I don't want that to happen. And it, I felt like it happened last season, because he worked away most of the year. So, if the foundation isn't connected, everything else starts missing out, and pieces get dropped. So, for instance, like just air conditioner on the truck going today, and me calling Brandon knowing that I have to work late tonight and I have to open the gym tomorrow, I got a workshop. I got lots on the go. And I'm like, you got to get the groceries. Like, he's like, well, send me a list. I said, I don't got time. You got to get the groceries. So just as a team, it feels horrible to just bark. You need to do this. I wish we could have time to talk about it and plan it together. Make it less orderly, because I don't like to be the orderly person, but sometimes you got to, I guess. But yeah, anyways, that's where I think things feel heavy. I need that connection piece to get tighter in order for the rest of the shit to feel easier.
Coach Kim 31:07
So a, God, I love you so much.
Coach Jo 31:10
I love you. Brandon, if you're listening,
Coach Kim 31:12
but, but I love your I love your transparency and your vulnerability. I don't want to make it seem like I'm invulnerable because, because I'm trying really hard, you just happen to catch me on good day, right? Like, what feels sticky and heavy I've come through that what feels sticky and heavy for me, what's recently been really sticky and heavy is it is so scary to watch someone you adore struggle with their mental health so hard, and so I've come through a period of real fear again, where then I'm trying to manage my emotional child self. So that part has felt really sticky and heavy. I have also, I mean, I never had kids with sports schedules, but I know what it's like to go through that, those years where you just feel. So it's so hard as parents to connect when the kids are the focus, you know, like and I can appreciate and remember that. And so when you're in it, it's easy to connect to what feels sticky and hard. When you've come through it and you're on the other side of it, it's much harder feel connected.
Coach Jo 32:18
Yeah, oh it’s gone? I open the closet and I shut the door, it’s gone
Coach Kim 32:24
Put it in the closet and close the door, 100%. No, I'm managing it. I'm dealing with it, but it just is so much less acute. Had we had this conversation last week, I would have fucking bawled my way through it. So, you know? So that feels good, but on the other side of it, like, you know, what feels light and joyful and full of potential. I still believe in this business. I am loving looking after myself. I love my relationships with my friends and my family and my husband and my kids and the people here like I feel really gratified and positive and hopeful. And what feels full of potential with what we just came through with my kids, two of them in particular, but all three struggle with especially anxiety. It's such a nasty, nasty thing, and I can really identify with it because of my own history. But what feels full of potential is that each of them is growing and doing their own work, and is willing to do their own work. And my daughter, Paige in particular, like she has, each of them, but she has no idea how powerful she is. She is so deep in it, sometimes in the depths of despair that she and that's just a colloquial, whatever you want to call it, like, yeah, basket term to throw it in. But she's so deep in the pain, you know, sometimes that she has trouble seeing the light. But I can see the light and that, like I see it with each of them and that is reassuring, so.
Coach Jo 34:08
You are so full of optimism. Yeah, that's one thing about you, ever since I've ever known you. Yeah, if I ever say anything that's like, in a way that might be disheartening to myself or harm myself, you will be the first to be like, What did you say? Okay, let's fix this. Like you will always have a nice sentence. Maybe that's not a good thing. No, I think, I think that's what's drawn me to you.
Coach Kim 34:27
Well, because, because maybe it's dismissive when somebody says, I'm suffering, and you say, Yeah, but look on the sunny side.
Coach Jo 34:35
Yeah, but you didn't do it like that.
Coach Kim 34:42
Because it wouldn't be, it wouldn't be helpful when, when you're suffering, for somebody to go, Yeah, but things could always be worse, yeah?
Coach Jo 34:49
Like, that's like, you know, they call that in my SSR, course, toxic positivity.
Coach Kim 34:52
Yeah, I don't, I hope I'm not toxic positivity. No, you're not okay. Okay, you're not okay,
Coach Jo 34:58
Okay, no, but I like that. It feels it. Airy and like, what's the word we said here? That light, joyful, full of potential, is that you are this, this lighthouse for your people, right?
Coach Kim 35:09
And that's a great analogy. I love that analogy. And that visual like I and that's part of me doing my own work, is because I really, really believe that the better I am in every capacity, the better I can serve other people, right? Like, if I'm a fucking mess, I can't be, I can't be of service to others. If I'm a fucking mess, I can't, I can't be solid ground, you know? And so that analogy of I want to be the lighthouse, I want to be on the rocks. Steadfast. That's one of my words for actually, this year. Steadfast is one of my words. We're doing this in the staff meeting on September 11, where we've asked our team to bring three words that will guide them through the next four months of the year. And one of my words is steadfast. I want to be, I want to be the lighthouse on the rock, and so that when stormy waters come, they can see me.
Coach Jo 36:06
Hey, come to me. Yeah, I got you. Because I already got me, I got you.
Coach Kim 36:10
Yes. Oh, that gives me goosebumps. Yeah, that's good. What about?
Coach Jo 36:15
I feel that again, the business like, I feel like it's effortless, it's light. It's easy to come in and do something when you are so fucking in love with what you do, when you love helping people, when you love working out with the most incredible team, like when everything feels good. Of course, there's hard moments, but I feel challenges and challenges, but it's it feels super easy to get into that. What personally I feel a lot of joy right now is that it's harvest out of my garden, and I've been canning, and I've been eating fresh food, and the kids are in there getting their hands dirty, and it's just like eating from Mother Earth. I just love that.
Coach Kim 36:50
Okay, but I just want to point out that this is exactly what I just said about, what I feel is like primal, yeah, like that whole like you're talking about what I'm talking about with circadian health and primal ancestral health. You're talking about the exact same thing. It's be, it's growing things. It's being connected to the earth. It's eating what you harvest. It's having your chickens. All the same things that are lighting you up are the same things that I'm talking about.
Coach Jo 37:21
I just got the farm, but I feed you. I'll be bringing beets soon, so just wait.
Coach Kim 37:24
Please bring all the zucchini.
Coach Jo 37:25
No, I'm done with zucchini. You can take the beet tops.
Coach Kim 37:28
Okay, I love beet tops.
Coach Jo 37:31
So, yeah, like going into the garden, hanging out with my chickens is always it just really makes me happy, because it's like this whole other community I walk into and I'm like, an alpha rooster, and I roll in and it's like, hang out with my bitches, my hoes, and it's so much fun. But like, besides that, like, this time of year again, I love the heat, but I am ready for a change a little bit. I know that's weird to come out of my mouth, but I'm ready for, the cooler mornings are nice, the cooler weather.
Coach Kim 37:55
Sweater weather. I'm really excited for sweater weather.
Coach Jo 37:56
I'm not excited for heating our offices with the base heater, because that's what happens up here. But I don't know, like I feel that the fall has always been been good for me, because statistically, every September, end of August into September, I've been training, like, for volleyball or training for other seasons. So, at this time of year, it's always like, Get your shit together time. It's always been that time for me. So, it feels good to get things in order, but yeah, eating homegrown food right now is like, oh my god, it's so good.
Coach Kim 38:26
Yeah, you've been doing that since, since you were putting beets in your lunch a month ago, you've been like, yeah. So, because we're doing this with our team, have you put any thought into the three words that you want to have govern your fall or, or, is there any Can you come up with anything that's on the kind of route?
Coach Jo 38:48
You know, I haven't looked at the list yet because I want to get my workshop together. Yeah, transparency, fall and transparency. But I also, like, I know your word of sturdiness, but you said steadfast. I wanted something that was like foundational. So, I was leaning towards something like that, but I couldn't think of the word. So, I have to think about more about what I want that to look like. But I don't know. I do want to feel more joy. I want to show more joy in my face. I think sometimes that I don't think I have a resting bitch face, I really don't. I think I'm pretty naturally. I'm smiling lots and stuff like that, but at the same time, I feel like I want to feel more of it, instead of it just being on my face. I want to feel it inside of my body. Oh, I love that, because sometimes it's here and I'm but am I really feeling joy? Like, you know.
Coach Kim 39:36
I had this whole epiphany about because we've done our Enneagram. Jo is a seven Enneagram. I'm a three. And I was listening to a couple podcasts that my sister Leah sent me about the Enneagram. And one of the things that I was really resistant to when we did ours the first time was this part of it where it kind of talked about a three, wearing masks.
Coach Jo 40:00
Yea, she was not happy about that.
Coach Kim 40:03
Because, because, for me, the insinuation that I wear a mask means that I'm inauthentic. Yeah, totally and, and I feel like I'm pretty genuine. And so that was offensive to me, the idea, but what I had this epiphany about was, how I you talking about showing joy in energy on the floor with people that you're showing up that way, yeah, animated like joyful, but you're not feeling it. That's the same as me with a mask, right? That that's part of being a performer. You know, I've been a performer my whole life, and in a way, being on the floor with a crew of people is just another kind of performance, right? And so it's easy to put on the mask of you got to show up no matter how you're feeling, and you got to show this certain, you know, behaviour, because that's the job. But how do you actually tap into what you want to be experiencing.
Coach Jo 41:00
Yes, to make it connect somehow. Yeah, I don't know. It's a tough it's a tough thing.
Coach Kim 41:04
I love it. Well, it has to do with our thinking, because thoughts create emotions. Emotions aren't random. You just don't get hit by the joy fairy. So what do I need to think to feel joyful? You know? And that's, that's what I keep coming back to, Joy was your word. But any of the words that I will pick. You know, it's going to be like, Okay, well, how do I create that feeling? And it's always with your thinking. So, you know, I haven't picked my three I actually have picked my three words, but I'm not going to talk about them here, because I feel like that's not fair to you, that you just didn't, you weren't ready for that, maybe but steadfast is one of them.
Coach Jo 41:39
You know, like foundation. Like, I don't know, I keep coming back to that word, foundation. Word foundation, but I don't know how I want to relate to that, because foundation, to me, means that I want to be the foundation for everything that I want to create for my family, for it all comes back to this foundation. And maybe that is your own cup,
Coach Kim 41:55
Rooted.
Coach Jo 41:56
Or something like that, yeah, something where I don't know.
Coach Kim 41:58
Planted, planted.
Coach Jo 42:01
That's a good word. That's a good word I like, and I liked it because I plant a garden all the time, so I'm planted. Like my sunflowers.
Coach Kim 42:08
Yeah, it'll come to you. You'll get it. But if you could give yourself a summer, if you could give your summer self a pep talk for the fall, what would you say?
Coach Jo 42:18
I would sit across the room from me, and I would say, okay, and I'm talking straight talk here, by the way, this is going to be Joely talking to Joely, knowing who Joely is, and Joely's habits. I would say, okay, it's time to get back into some routine. It's time to get your nutrition figured out. It's time to start prepping your food. Because just like, you know, any type of self-sabotage, there's perfectionism, there's giving yourself excuses. And right now, Joely, what you're saying to yourself is, ah, it's fine, because that's what I'm saying. It's all fine. I can eat some things and it's fine, right? And I know it's not fine. I don't feel good. I want to go to bed early some days because I'm not giving myself the energy I need. So just like every other, I'm a human right? I think I eat fairly good, but there are times where I don't eat fairly good, and my body reacts to that. Example A, going to a wedding at the very end of the summer and having dinner food. The food was the best food I've ever had at a wedding, by the way, the brisket. Like I had to go walk up to the chef in my high heels and be like, that's the best brisket I ever had in my whole life. But at the same time, my stomach was a fucking dishwasher like, it hurt so bad, and I I was sick to my stomach, and then I was having wine at dinner, and I don't drink red wine, and I mix that with the mimosa, mix that with a friggin Margarita and, like, because it's my last cousin's wedding, and, oh my God, was I sick? I was so sick. And my body was like…
Coach Kim 43:48
But not hungover sick, you were like a dishwasher.
Coach Jo 43:51
No, no, no, I was like, food sick. Like, I like, so what I'm saying is I think I eat fairly healthy, but I also know when I don't eat good, like, days like that where I'm like, I'm just gonna do whatever I want. It's a special day, and I pay for it. Man, did I pay for it. So it was a good realization. So summer pep talk being like, I think we learned a very valuable lesson there, Joely, and as we head into the fall, and you have these events where you're gonna be going out and you're gonna be enjoying your time, what's gonna happen is that you're just gonna make sure you don't have a whole plate of briskets and chicken smothered in like Manny Vicky says, get the honey sauce. Get the honey sauce. Put the honey sauce on the fried chicken, fucking drizzled up, bitch, on that chicken, so bad and I and whatever it was really good food, but I need to be smarter than that. I know foods don't agree with me, and I think that awareness of when I head in, and especially as I go to away to tournaments for hockey. Now I can't rely on what is going to be there for me. So Pep Talk is, Jo, prep your shit. Save your dishwasher stomach, because that final cycle was really nasty.
Coach Kim 44:52
Yeah, totally.
Coach Jo 44:53
What about you?
Coach Kim 44:54
What would summer self say for fall pep talk? Um. Oh, geez, I don't know. I think I saw this question. And why am I stumped? I'm not fucking stomped. You're not stumped. Kim, I would probably say, You know what to do, get to it. Stop fucking around. You know, like, that's the way I talk to myself, yeah, get over it. Get going. And also, I would also say you're on the right track now. You're doing everything right. Yeah, I really feel like I'm on the right track. It's good. Yeah. Is there anything that you're consciously letting go of before the year ends?
Coach Jo 45:34
Before December of 2024 What do I consciously want to let go of? I would like to, I this is what I would like to will it happen? We can reassess that. But what I would really like to let go on my brain is the little coach in my brain, when we talk about the one who gives me the self-doubt that I'm not good enough, some days, that imposter, once in a while, when I'm coaching, when I'm parenting, and I feel like I failed in a situation or in a spousal communication and I did something wrong. Like, I want to remind myself that, like, it's okay to feel the way you feel, it's okay to communicate the way you communicate, and truthfully, we're all just trying to do our best. Yeah, there's days I even tell my four year old, I'm like, Duke, mommy's just trying to do her best today, okay?
Coach Kim 46:21
Yeah, yeah.
Coach Jo 46:22
Yeah, you know, like, I think there's a little bit of that compassion.
Coach Jo 46:24
So, okay, I just got to stop you and, first of all, say Duke is the coolest name ever. And, and just the fact that you're a six-foot ex volleyball star with 28 chickens and a son named Duke is like, it makes, it's like, a cool factor that's next level. Okay?
Coach Jo 46:43
I gotta name the second kid.
Coach Kim 46:46
The second thing is, is that no one who ever sees you coach on the floor would ever suspect that that is what would ever go through your brain, self-doubt, self-criticism, is not something that is ever projected through you, ever at all.
Coach Jo 46:54
Stoicism.
Coach Kim 46:55
And so I don't even think it's stoicism, like stoicism.
Coach Jo 47:08
Cow girl raised.
Coach Kim 47:10
Yeah, maybe, I guess, I don't know. I think you're just part of probably being a really highly qualified athlete. Would be that you would have to pull it together on the exterior, no matter how the interior felt.
Coach Jo 47:25
So like, when you broke the game serve against your old university, and you're bawling your eyes out in the change room, away from everybody, oh, yeah.
Coach Kim 47:30
Yeah. And so that's a skill that you've developed. And so nobody would ever for a second. The people who know you, love you work with you every day. They'd be so like, what?
Coach Jo 47:40
That's the thing, is, we're human. Yeah? Like we're so human, you and I. And I think sometimes people, I don't want to say that, they forget that it has a negatory thing, no, but it's just the truth of the matter is that we are humans. We have our own emotions, and yeah, we share back and forth. You know, that's why we want to have this conversation, so that you guys can get a really in depth feel for who Kim and I are when…
Coach Jo 47:57
We're working it.
Coach Jo 47:59
Oh, yeah, we're working it, and we're trying our best as well. And we sit in this office, usually without headphones, and we have a lot of these conversations together. And that's really what created this podcast, right? Yeah, we want to show you that.
Coach Kim 48:08
Yeah, and share in it.
Coach Jo 48:10
We are just trying to go through it too girls, and boys.
Coach Kim 48:12
And then we're working it. We're not, we're not. We don't have blinders on.
Coach Jo 48:17
I don't think, no, no, not at all.
Coach Kim 48:20
So, what do I want to let go of consciously by the end of 2024 consciously let go of, I am so fucking done with food drama. It is not even funny. Like, I'm so done with food noise like..
Coach Jo 48:35
Like, tell me what your food noise is?
Coach Kim 48:37
Well, a food noise being like, don't eat this. Better not have that. Can't have that at that time of day.
Coach Jo 48:46
Can't you not have an ice cream cone? Why would you eat that now you're gonna pay for it. Like,
Coach Kim 48:51
Actually, yeah, all of it. All of it. There's not one specific sentence that comes it's like, all of the food noise that has been programmed into me for however long. You know what I mean? Like, I always say, if you've come through, I was a mom in the 90s, 20 years old, 25 years old. So that's when that whole, like, Susan Powder. Do you remember Susan Powder?
Coach Jo 49:11
Who's she again?
Coach Kim 49:12
was, she had this short, short brush, brush cut hairdo. She was from the States. And, anyways, I can't remember, like, the whole there was. She had this like tagline with Susan Powder, whatever, anyways. But the point is, is, if you came through the 90s and it was all that, like, low fat, don't eat fat.
Coach Jo 49:31
Oh yeah.
Coach Kim 49:32
You know what I mean? Like, only chicken, only fish.
Coach Jo 49:33
Oh yeah, body, break.
Coach Kim 49:41
So much noise, so much noise, and so the food noise is, I just am done. I'm just done shaming myself. I'm done criticizing it. I'm done over obsessing. I'm done like I have a really good handle on what works for my body. I'm feeling stronger and better than ever before. I've had some really insightful and and not even, like, that's the whole thing. Like I haven't even gone into menopause yet, like I still would be considered perimenopausal, totally having a period every 28 to 30 days, 26 to 30 days, for most people, and not no hot flashes. I'm still sleeping, and I probably just cursed the whole thing.
Coach Jo 50:23
But remember, someone who works out trains and eats fairly healthy will minimize a lot of those symptoms too.
Coach Kim 50:27
And blood sugar balance and insulin resistance and circadian health, and all the things that I espouse and I'm really super fucking passionate about, right? And so, but the whole point is, is that there's still, it's like this ongoing conversation all the time, and I just want to find more peace around it. You know, like I can trust myself. I can trust my body. I don't need, no, I don't need your fucking food rules, here's what, here's actually what does work, and here I understand it, and then I can let that go.
Coach Jo 50:56
Shut up. Monkey brain. Shut up subconscious, yeah. You need to protect me anymore, it’s not the 90s.
Coach Kim 51:01
Totally okay. And I love this question, if the Fall had a soundtrack, what song would be on repeat for you?
Coach Jo 51:09
And I don't think it's like lyric specific, because the lyrics don't make any sense, but the beat, I have been listening to this song on repeat. Every time I drive the vehicle, I crank it to as loud as I can go, and it is called Shipwreck by Klangkarussell. I'm pretty sure these guys are from Belgium. I don't know, but it's like a chill step, like deep, deep, slower EDM music, electronic dance music, very slower. But this song, I just can't get enough of it, and it is so good. And I just, every time I'm driving, the leaves are changing, I just feel this vibe in my soul. And I'm I've been, I listened to like, 10 times a day, so.
Coach Kim 51:44
So here, full disclosure, Joely is always a musical influence to me. She's got her finger on the pulse of current music, things that are coming out.
Coach Jo 51:56
And so from that was from Cole, from Australia, my best buddy, Cole. Yeah, that's you, babe. Thank you for that.
Coach Kim 52:00
But I get I'm influenced by a lot of people, but you have really been a big, you know, like, kind of opened the door to a whole different style of music that I normally wouldn't listen to. So I'm gonna go have to listen to that. I don't have one. I don't have one.
Coach Jo 52:15
Post Malone. Just had a country album, I thought you’d be fucking by tickets front row.
Coach Kim 52:20
I do love Post Malone. The other day I rediscovered, maybe not the other day. A few weeks ago, I rediscovered Wichita Lineman by Glenn Campbell. “I am the lineman of the county…”
Coach Jo 52:32
Oh my God, you know my husband is a lineman, we play this at every campfire.
Coach Kim 52:38
Oh fuck. I love that song. And so, if there's, if there's a song or, like, a vibe, right now, it’s Glenn Campbell, how did I just, say you're 54 say you're 54 without saying you're 50
Coach Jo 52:53
No, you're not 54 that is like, my husband's like, soundtrack of his life. Okay?
Coach Kim 52:58
Well, it was just it's more representative of an era and a vibe like, it's kind of like, a lot of instruments, oh, and just big sound and musicianship and artistry and, yeah, deeper band, lots of instruments, yeah, and I, and actually, Glenn Campbell, I kind of been digging on recently. Nerd alert. Nerd alert.
Coach Jo 53:21
Pretty sure I've got one of his like records at my house. I'm not gonna lie, probably,
Coach Kim 53:23
So, anyways, if there was a soundtrack that was playing, it would be something like kind of 70s, late 70s, early 80s, retro, country, folky, yeah.
Coach Jo 53:36
I love it. Me too.
Coach Kim 53:37
I love it. Yeah?
Coach Jo 53:21
Oh, you know what would be great for you as we're heading into fall would be like Neil Young - Harvest Moon. Yes, walking in the fields in September.
Coach Kim 53:38
Yea, that’s another great one.
Coach Jo 53:44
That’s my favourite, walking in the field in September.
Coach Kim 53:48
Okay, anyways, that's it. That's it. Guys.
Coach Jo 53:50
Thanks so much for showing up, and don't forget to hit subscribe.
Coach Kim 53:53
We'll do this once in a while, because this was fun.
Coach Jo 53:54
It was fun to chat. Okay, love you guys. Bye.
Coach Jo 53:59
You probably got a sense of who we are by now and what our personal approach is to developing a lifestyle that creates really great health and strength. Using a relational common sense coaching approach that is backed by knowledge and personal experience
Coach Kim 53:14
There are a couple of ways that you can work with Jo or I, one on one, remote or you can actually train here at Iron Lab.
Coach Jo 53:24
The first is the Metabolic Blueprint, personalized coaching program, which is customized for your life and your body.
Coach Kim 53:31
We work together very closely either in person or remotely to help you conquer old diet drama and to get lasting results.
Coach Jo 53:41
Ideally, we'd love to teach you how to never buy a quick-fix diet program or app again.
Coach Kim 53:47
Next, there is the accelerator academy, which is up to 12 months of self-paced weekly bite-sized lessons and journaling exercises, that we’ve created to help you create the lifestyle habits that generate a true transformation.
Coach Jo 54:05
Find out more on our website: ironlablacombe.com/metabolic-blueprint