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Don't put the devil's horn in the soulhole.
Creators & Guests
What is Popcorn & Plot Holes?
Movies are fun! Movies are awesome! But movies can sometimes be very, very weird... or just plain terrible. In this intersection of fun, awesome, weird and terrible is where Matt, Luciano, Chris and Spencer live and thrive. They'll be watching the latest FACTS (Fantasy, Action, Comic, Thriller, Sci-Fi) movies available on streaming services and sharing their equally awesome, fun, weird and terrible thoughts on them. Welcome to Popcorn & Plot Holes!
Matt (00:01.012)
Hello and welcome back to episode five of the Jackathon where we watched horror? Movies from the facts genre. I haven't mentioned what facts are in a while so let me do that. But first.
Spencer (00:17.095)
Let's all say one.
Matt (00:19.708)
I was going to say the name of the podcast, but you know, you do your thing. This is Plot holes in popcorn or popcorn in plot holes. I was so close and you get so far away. You someone add us and let us know what the name of the podcast is because I don't know. Back to facts, facts movies. Everyone's going to say one. Spencer, you want to go first? In order.
Spencer (00:21.382)
No, no, we don't need to say that.
Luciano (00:21.761)
It's probably a good idea, probably a good idea.
Spencer (00:29.61)
What do you decide?
Luciano (00:30.727)
Maybe it was good that you hadn't said it, but okay.
Chris (00:32.78)
Let us know. Add us.
Spencer (00:37.342)
Hehehe
Spencer (00:41.978)
Yeah. Fantasy.
Matt (00:46.316)
Okay.
Luciano (00:47.742)
Action.
Matt (00:48.748)
Great. Chris.
Chris (00:50.678)
Comedy comics, but it's comics.
Matt (00:53.468)
Yeah, a thriller. And who wants to knock out the last?
Chris (00:54.978)
It's comics.
Luciano (00:58.021)
Skifi, that's how you say it, right? Oh, is it the... Oh, is this like a... No.
Matt (00:59.585)
Keefy?
Spencer (00:59.847)
and sci-fi. Together we make facts.
Matt (01:04.716)
I thought you were going to say Ski Patrol movies, which there are like five.
Chris (01:06.658)
How does that spell out properly? Ski facts? F-f-f-f-facts?
Spencer (01:06.846)
Hehehe
Matt (01:12.084)
Well, listen, that's also true. So we watched Friday the 13th, the original 1980 product. We're here to tell you about that experience. It's available everywhere. I'm pretty sure if you want to watch it, you should have by the time you listen to this podcast. But nevertheless, here we are. Let's start off something really easy. This is a horror film. It is one of the genre defining horror films along with Halloween, which it basically stole its premise from. But hey, that doesn't matter.
Chris (01:16.734)
next week.
Luciano (01:40.709)
Ha ha ha!
Matt (01:41.108)
What matters is, kills. They did it often. You guys have a favorite kill from this movie? Spencer?
Spencer (01:48.706)
I do. I'm stealing the best one. Sorry, guys. Kevin Bacon getting stabbed through the neck from under the bed. It's actually the only thing I remember about this movie before I watched it again. I was like, I don't, I've seen that movie because I remember Kevin Bacon getting stabbed through the neck vividly and being like, Whoa, because I thought like, I'm sure a lot of people that he was like the main character. So
Chris (01:58.018)
same.
Chris (02:02.206)
Yeah.
Chris (02:11.106)
I thought I yeah when I remembered it I thought I thought he was mean as well, but like not mean enough to survive
Spencer (02:14.786)
Yeah.
Luciano (02:14.793)
Nah, this is this is pre-footloose. He was just a nobody.
Chris (02:19.522)
True, true, true.
Spencer (02:23.03)
He wasn't even Kevin Bacon yet. He was Kevin Pork.
Spencer (02:28.401)
I'm gonna go off one.
Chris (02:28.526)
Hmm... You... you went there.
Luciano (02:29.2)
That was so awful I'm gonna steal. The best kill in this movie is Kevin Bacon getting stabbed. I'm kidding. I like that too. I like, shut up. Ha ha ha.
Spencer (02:35.326)
He was turned into Kevin Bork. He's turned.
Matt (02:40.617)
He went backwards?
Luciano (02:41.862)
Yeah, yeah.
Chris (02:43.838)
More like Kevin Nuggets, but anyways, go ahead.
Matt (02:46.22)
Okay.
Luciano (02:47.531)
I actually quite like the like Bill getting stuck to the to the door with a bunch of arrows Properly gruesome
Chris (02:54.69)
Hmm.
Spencer (02:56.571)
looked cool.
Matt (02:56.78)
I'm very annoyed that they didn't kill... was it Brenda? Yeah, Brenda. I thought Brenda was gonna get smoked by Eros. They set that up and they did not play it out.
Chris (03:02.862)
Say it. There you go. Very confusing. Yes.
Luciano (03:04.236)
That's yeah, I thought it was foreshadowing. Yeah
Spencer (03:08.614)
Nah, we don't do that here. The writers of this movie. No, no, we don't do that here.
Matt (03:08.724)
Very, very angry. We don't, we don't do that.
Luciano (03:11.121)
We don't do logic and sense here.
Chris (03:15.81)
Hmm. Best kill. Uh, well, Marcy got an ax to the face, which was like the moat that was, I would say that was one of the clearest like beginning middle end murders because as we just said, everybody got a almost a different murder that was less impactful than like the set up walking in like Ned just walks into a room and then there you go. Knife like nice.
Luciano (03:40.365)
That's true. Yeah.
Matt (03:40.5)
Well, yeah, Ned also got killed the same way that Annie got killed.
Chris (03:46.695)
Annie.
Luciano (03:47.521)
Yeah.
Spencer (03:48.55)
offscreen stabbings, like not offscreen, but like below the camera line.
Matt (03:52.582)
Yeah. And are off screen. Ned was definitely off screen.
Chris (03:53.339)
We need it off screen too.
Luciano (03:56.068)
Yeah.
Chris (03:57.23)
camp counselor Annie and counselor Christy or Steve, they got the same death. Like they were just like stabbed like below camera, like.
Luciano (04:03.325)
Yeah, yeah, they were they were jumped. They were jumped by the camera and died and died. Yeah.
Spencer (04:06.666)
I can't believe you can remember all their names.
Chris (04:11.295)
This is what the cameraman gets, the cameraman gets, gets his, uh, his come- his due. He's like, I'm tired of these stupid, stupid shots. Y'all didn't pay me!
Spencer (04:20.138)
That would have been a great... a great reveal. It was the cameraman all along! Filming the documentary about our school! About our... about our...
Luciano (04:24.233)
Yeah. The document. Friday the 13th, the documentary.
Chris (04:25.049)
Oh
Matt (04:28.096)
Well, it would have worked because there was a lot of like doom vibes of like first person cameraing with a murderer at a level of it's just like if this was you know done modernly it would have been like a mockumentary or like I mean that's where Blair Witch kind of came from right that sort of style. Yeah found footage because you're just tracking along with Mrs. Voorhees doing weird stuff like looking at them from across the water at the camp or like.
Chris (04:32.791)
Office style.
Luciano (04:38.955)
Yeah.
Chris (04:39.106)
Yeah.
Spencer (04:48.102)
Like found footage, yeah.
Luciano (04:50.03)
Yeah.
Chris (04:57.805)
Yeah.
Matt (04:58.1)
You know, yeah, says nothing. And they keep talking anyways.
Spencer (04:58.694)
or having one way conversations with people where they ask questions and it's just silent. And they act like it's like, oh, okay, this is nice.
Luciano (05:05.037)
Well, if you...
Matt (05:07.333)
normal.
Chris (05:08.214)
It was so annoying. Did any of you think?
Luciano (05:09.287)
If it was modern though, it should be streaming the kills on TikTok. Let's be honest.
Chris (05:13.502)
Or she'd be sitting. This would be you get a shot of her sitting in her chair in her cabin office style. I mean, like, and so that's when I knew they all had to die because they were all responsible. This is the last time. This is my machete. I call it Nichols.
Spencer (05:21.636)
I'm dead.
Luciano (05:21.997)
Hahahaha!
Spencer (05:28.37)
And then it's like, it shows a guy being like, I can't wait to have sex later, and then shows her awkward gym face looking at the camera. Tch. Uh, uh, uh.
Luciano (05:35.117)
Hahaha
Matt (05:35.443)
Yeah.
Chris (05:37.959)
And then obscene her kill like dragging the body and discarding it. Did anyone? And she's like, yeah, I know what I did. But like, did anybody because this was the second time or whatever, like my additional time watching this movie, I misremembered it, too. Did anyone think that it was Jason? Like, was it was it blurry enough for anyone else to think it's Jason following these people?
Spencer (05:39.326)
Hehehe
Luciano (05:44.057)
Looking at the camera when she's not supposed to? Yeah, yeah, I can see that, yeah. Ha ha ha.
Spencer (05:46.32)
Yeah.
Luciano (05:58.709)
Yeah, I.
So I actually thought I had watched this before and I hadn't. So I had read that, oh, Jason doesn't really show up until the end of the movie. But I had thought, oh, he doesn't show up, but it's him doing the killing. I didn't know it was like her. So it did catch me by surprise, at least that.
Chris (06:05.514)
No? No. Yeah.
Chris (06:16.258)
Hmm. Okay.
Matt (06:19.534)
Idiots.
Spencer (06:20.354)
Yeah, I think it famously is known that the first movie is his mother. Um, but I do remember the first time I watched it. I remember thinking, when are they going to show Jason? Why is this like a mystery? We all know it's the guy in the hockey mask. And then it was like, Oh, it's an old geriatric woman. What a twist.
Chris (06:26.446)
It's been a long time for me to sit.
Luciano (06:27.743)
I haven't watched it, so...
Chris (06:33.835)
Right.
Luciano (06:35.053)
Hahaha!
Matt (06:40.492)
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Luciano (06:42.423)
That's how I felt! Because I hadn't watched it, I was like, oh, a twist!
Chris (06:46.894)
She came to eat. She came to eat and eat she did.
Spencer (06:50.302)
Imagine watching this movie though, like, back, like, when it first came out, like, it's totally set up like it's like a whodunit. Like, what a horrible payoff. It's the, it's the ki- it's the mother of the kid who we mentioned dying one time at the beginning. Who you've never seen, and you've never seen the kid either.
Matt (06:50.663)
One.
Chris (06:58.126)
Hmm...
Luciano (06:58.53)
Yeah.
Luciano (07:03.349)
Yeah. And it's mentioned so in passing, cause they were like, oh, you know, you see the two kids getting killed and then the gropey guy that helped Annie with the thing. Yeah. And he's like, he talks about the two kids dying and then he just in passing says, oh, then the kid drowned there in 57, like it's nothing.
Chris (07:03.446)
Where'd this bitch come from?
Chris (07:16.546)
Truck driver. Truck driver Jim. Did everybody look as pretty as you?
Spencer (07:18.25)
I'll give you a ride. I'll give you a mustache ride. Sir, you don't have a mustache. I can grow one.
Spencer (07:31.206)
Yeah, and then there's water poisons and fires and stuff.
Chris (07:33.95)
Right. The extended cut, the extended cut of Ralph, crazy Ralph's first remix, first mixtape, like drug driver Jim just laid it all out, bro. And Andy was like, true, true.
Luciano (07:45.077)
Hehehehe
Matt (07:45.34)
He actually stole Ralphie's thunder. Cause Ralphie just came up and repeated what- I, you know, I'll-
Luciano (07:49.413)
True.
Spencer (07:50.326)
Yeah, yeah. She's like, Oh, I know. He told me he's like, what? That's my stick, Jimmy.
Matt (07:55.308)
God damn it, Jim. You fucking dick. But, you know, Ralphie, solid dude. I mean, maybe he's an alcoholic since he gets drunk and then he gets on his bike, but he rode 20 miles just to this camp to warn these kids. Oh, fucking law. It's like a day, a day's worth of effort to get out and come back.
Chris (08:00.878)
Mm-hmm.
Luciano (08:03.962)
Ha ha.
Chris (08:05.254)
Exactly. I- Correct.
Spencer (08:07.556)
And immediately left.
Luciano (08:09.965)
And honestly, at least he could, you know, ride a bike and like the policeman who was like, all the, all the while just like tail swiping and just almost falling off the fucking bike the whole time he was there.
Chris (08:16.607)
D'UH!
Chris (08:23.926)
We ain't gonna stand for no weirdness out here.
Luciano (08:27.506)
What was the point of that policeman by the way? Like he shows up, he says some garbage...
Chris (08:30.971)
Yeah, y'all smoking that Columbia gold. Y'all smoking, y'all smoking that heba cheba. Y'all y'all smoking that because we watching you. OK, we're going to put up no mess weirdness here.
Spencer (08:36.338)
Cocaine?
Luciano (08:43.733)
Yeah, it's so weird.
Spencer (08:45.958)
Well, down in this country, we don't do drugs. We just kiss each other's cousins.
Chris (08:50.122)
Mm-hmm, you know early open there, you know
Luciano (08:51.16)
Hahaha! Mmm mmm mmm!
Spencer (08:52.226)
Now get back to kissing your cousin!
Matt (08:55.63)
Is that your cousin? No, well then get a cousin to kiss.
Spencer (08:57.13)
G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G
Chris (08:58.542)
Get! Get you one! Get! Get it! You want mine? Well, marry and then you're gonna- So, nobody puts enough respect on Ralphie. At all. The dude's a fucking community servant.
Luciano (08:59.561)
Hahaha!
Matt (09:00.724)
You get that cousin a kiss.
Luciano (09:09.377)
Well, the camera does, because both time he bikes off, they linger on him for like three minutes. Just going.
Spencer (09:16.994)
David else. There's. This whole thing on that route is we got the people are here to see.
Chris (09:17.038)
But we know the cat.
Matt (09:17.212)
Yeah. That Ralphie ass.
Chris (09:21.87)
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Luciano (09:22.646)
There you go.
Spencer (09:27.19)
Tell me thick clappers on Ralphie.
Luciano (09:27.701)
No, it makes, listen, it makes sense because we've just established that it was Mrs. Voorhees doing the camera work. So she likes Ralph's ass, there you go. Mystery explained. I didn't say that.
Chris (09:37.75)
like, you know what, Ralph? I like that speaker.
Spencer (09:38.206)
Can you blame her?
It's like, if I believed that people could have sex without being murdered, I'd be on that.
Luciano (09:45.844)
Hahaha!
Chris (09:45.874)
Mm-hmm. Beyond.
Spencer (09:47.758)
Sex is a death sentence.
Matt (09:48.445)
Mmm.
Luciano (09:48.637)
If I did that, I'd have to kill myself and that'd be really hard.
Chris (09:51.382)
I'd be like that. I'd be like seasoning on them buttermilk Ralphie biscuits.
Matt (09:55.93)
Mm-hmm.
Spencer (09:57.138)
Um, did anyone else think that Ralphie was going to be like, uh, the guy from the shining who like comes all the way just to get murdered immediately? I was like, that, that was just to add another kill. He's going to bike away and then be like, like pulled off his bike and.
Matt (10:04.101)
Oh definitely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure.
Luciano (10:04.297)
Yeah, something like that, yeah.
Chris (10:07.831)
Hmm.
Chris (10:12.354)
Full on survived. Good for him though, but no, didn't cross my mind. But that's a good point. Oh, not a good point.
Spencer (10:18.538)
I wouldn't have minded if Ralphie was the killer. He should have been Jason Verhees' mother.
Matt (10:18.836)
cut off.
Chris (10:21.091)
Really?
Matt (10:23.173)
No, I don't think so.
Chris (10:23.626)
Whoa! You're saying Ralphie should have been... So, wait, he could reproduce? You said he should have been Ralphie, Jason Ward, his mother?
Luciano (10:23.757)
Wait, wait, what? Ha ha ha!
Spencer (10:26.616)
What a twist!
Luciano (10:33.077)
Yeah, like see our style.
Matt (10:34.156)
I'm sorry, you're saying he can reproduce like that's the problem here. Listen, let's, well, let's, let's talk about other things other than mitosis. This is an hour and a half horror film from 1980. I don't think they're big on mitosis at this point.
Chris (10:36.53)
Asexual liaising or what?
Spencer (10:37.266)
Hehehehe, mitosis.
Chris (10:39.918)
Like a reptile mitosis? EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Luciano (10:41.715)
Hahaha! My ptosis! Hahaha!
Luciano (10:51.041)
They're not big on a whole lot of things.
Spencer (10:52.748)
We don't believe in my toes unless you're sucking on my toes sister
Chris (10:54.982)
Yeah.
Luciano (10:55.501)
down here. Ha ha!
Chris (10:59.46)
We don't like the cut of your gym. We don't like that claw field talk you got talking.
Spencer (11:05.618)
photosynthesis more like photo these nuts
Matt (11:07.24)
I don't even know what to do with this right now.
Chris (11:07.708)
Mmm.
Luciano (11:10.106)
Is it ever established where Crystal Lake is?
Chris (11:11.074)
send my cysts.
Matt (11:14.212)
No, they were never we looked up. It's actually a camp in New Jersey, but they never clarified where camp Crystal Lake is it just exists I do
Luciano (11:19.258)
Okay.
Chris (11:20.578)
They shouldn't, they better not!
Spencer (11:21.962)
But it would be better if they all had New Jersey. Oh, it's a New Jersey! Welcome to Camp Crystal Lake!
Chris (11:24.491)
Hmm.
Matt (11:25.875)
Oh god.
Luciano (11:28.114)
Who killed this boy? Gabagoo.
Chris (11:29.794)
We got, we got a situation.
Spencer (11:33.173)
All in the fucking crystal lake we want to fucking get on them get swimming with them all redatted kid. Believe that out. That was character.
Luciano (11:39.756)
Like, your accent, your accent moved to New York.
Chris (11:40.014)
And then Jason.
And then Mrs. Voorhees comes on camera, camera angles are zoom. And that's when I found these fucking kids smushing like without being married. What's up with that?
Luciano (11:53.221)
Jesus Christ.
Chris (11:57.486)
Hi Jason, you know, I talk to a medium.
Matt (11:58.741)
live it.
Luciano (12:00.325)
Bye.
Spencer (12:01.337)
My boy Jason, he's so smart.
Matt (12:04.998)
So this movie we watched.
Luciano (12:06.109)
Oh, he fucking went to Boston this time! HAHAHAHAHA! Ah, I see. He's weak.
Chris (12:06.407)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Spencer (12:09.823)
Well no, Miss Brewery is from Boston, he's wicked smart!
Chris (12:13.198)
She could have, she could have come. Don't let him cook, don't let him cook.
Matt (12:13.536)
This movie we watched Friday the 13th. Let's at least pretend we're talking about this movie. Nah, you don't know. So this camp is 20 miles from the nearest town, whatever town, they don't say it is. Thank you. That's not a town, that's a state, but whatever. And we see all the counselors show up to the camp. Were you expecting...
Spencer (12:14.719)
What?
Spencer (12:18.867)
What is this Friday the 13th? I don't know. Continue continue
Luciano (12:22.105)
Ha ha ha!
Spencer (12:30.257)
Enjoy!
Chris (12:31.571)
Yeah, skinny act today.
Matt (12:43.876)
Everyone to be murdered within 24 hours
Spencer (12:48.506)
Everyone but one. Yes.
Luciano (12:48.673)
No. I also was surprised at how fast the murders went, just in terms of screen time. Nowadays, it's super dragged in the beginning. Yeah. Here it was like, no, I'm here on a mission. These kids are fornicating, and I'm going to get them. I was like, OK.
Matt (12:50.228)
Well, everyone but one.
Spencer (12:59.474)
Yeah, they want to like get as much shock value.
Matt (13:08.84)
But how come they then spent a half hour having her chase around Alice in the worst ways possible?
Luciano (13:15.273)
I have no idea. They ran out of material, clearly.
Matt (13:19.436)
It just got weird, like the reveal was cool, but then her like floundering to kill this person after she straight murdered everybody so easily was very off-putting.
Luciano (13:24.209)
Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, that whole scene, the scene with Alice running, getting into that cabin and smartly tying the rope on the door, but then bracing the door that opens outward with stuff and frowns like, what is she doing? No, she was hysterical, but like she closed the door, hysterical, and then she very gingerly, very slowly places.
Chris (13:39.874)
yes. she- the poor thing was hysterical. she didn't even- yes.
Matt (13:41.097)
Whoops.
fear.
Chris (13:48.524)
Yeah.
Chris (13:52.43)
I'm gonna put this stump here.
Luciano (13:53.325)
The lamp very slowly goes back to the door. He's like, I was like, what the fuck is happening here?
Chris (13:58.006)
And then you know the plus one to that. Then she proceeds to run a security sweep on the rest of the facility. I was like, I might only be trapped in here with somebody, but let me go and check now not having a sense of my.
Luciano (14:02.929)
Yeah, after like, what, half an hour? It's just piling shit up front of the door. Ha ha ha!
Yeah.
Oh no. Oh shit. Yeah.
Spencer (14:13.357)
Oh shit.
Chris (14:14.422)
Piano? Was that you? Monopoly board game? Was that you? I must be safe.
Spencer (14:17.19)
It's... it's... oh no, it's Jason Boory's elderly mother.
Matt (14:22.068)
Don't play sexy Monopoly and then leave right when the storm gets bad, even though the storm is bad the entire time. No, no, don't do that.
Luciano (14:22.213)
Hehehe
Luciano (14:27.201)
Yeah, without putting without putting your clothes on for some reason. Yeah. You know, my wife was watching with me. She was like, Oh, maybe she wanted to not get her clothes wet. But like, she's like carrying it out of her of the poncho. So like, there's no reason for her to be carrying those clothes. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that would have made sense. Yeah.
Chris (14:31.258)
Yeah, don't do it. It makes no sense. Yeah, nobody need that. Nobody really need that.
Matt (14:34.432)
That's stupid.
Spencer (14:36.882)
Torb's getting bad. Better go check it out.
Chris (14:41.374)
Hehehehehehe
Matt (14:46.652)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. None whatsoever.
Chris (14:50.498)
Could have put it within the poncho carried them shielded. But she didn't do that. Correct.
Matt (14:54.86)
She could have stayed and continued to play because the storm did not change in intensity at all.
Spencer (15:00.458)
I'm gonna go yell at those clouds.
Chris (15:01.102)
He's... Yo.
Luciano (15:01.685)
Well, she wanted, she said she left her window open. That's why she left.
Chris (15:06.314)
Yo, she could have gotten come back furthermore. It was the strip port strip monopoly was her idea. She wanted to get her lady nuts busted. She left, she left, she left. She wanted to bust her lady nuts and she.
Luciano (15:11.331)
Yeah.
Matt (15:14.144)
This is the thing.
Luciano (15:15.252)
Hahaha
Spencer (15:15.758)
Her lady nuts busted.
Matt (15:17.62)
She.
Spencer (15:19.39)
Sounds horrible.
Luciano (15:20.242)
I think Chris just coined a new term here.
Spencer (15:22.925)
Hehehehe
Matt (15:22.992)
Listen, we're not nothing if professionals and podcasting but Chris has a point. She said hey, let's play strip monopoly Come on, it'll be you'll enjoy it, you know bill and Alice So there are three of them are playing it and then as soon as it gets near day anything good She fucks off but isn't the point of getting your lady nuts busted is to stick around so they can be said busting
Chris (15:26.158)
Correct.
Chris (15:34.286)
Correct. Yup.
Luciano (15:37.028)
She fucked off. Yeah.
Luciano (15:44.593)
Yeah, for sure.
Chris (15:46.926)
Correct.
Matt (15:48.108)
There's actually thunder and lightning happening at Christmas house right now. So.
Luciano (15:50.513)
Yeah, well, it's it and it's and it's about It's a it's about yeah, well
Spencer (15:50.794)
Play the music. Someone's behind you, Chris.
Chris (15:55.794)
Is there someone behind me? Oh no!
Matt (15:56.484)
Oh no, Chris, Chris is gone.
Spencer (15:59.206)
Well, we had a good run.
Matt (16:02.444)
Goodbye Chris.
Chris (16:02.542)
No, Jason got me. It's my three year old. Freya say I'm gonna get you. I'm gonna say I'm gonna get you.
Luciano (16:06.26)
Ha ha.
Chris (16:12.322)
Brea, no pressure. Say, rawr! Rawr! There you go. Okay. Oh, really?
Spencer (16:14.826)
Take a pause now anyways. My son's still screaming. I'll be right back.
Luciano (16:18.731)
Alright, go for it.
Matt (16:18.776)
Okay, hard buzz.
Chris (16:21.863)
You had a you had a you were so close Bria. You almost got to do a raw monster sound Daddy's recording you could have you could have been a monster Say raw
Very good. That's Matt and that's Luciano. And they're saying hi. Can you hear them? They're talking. See, they're saying hi. You've seen them. When you were smaller, you saw them before. See? We're making monster noises, too.
Luciano (16:34.613)
Nice. Very, very well done.
Hi.
Luciano (16:43.725)
No, Matt's not saying anything because Matt is muted.
Matt (16:48.272)
ROAR!
Matt (16:52.474)
Bye.
Luciano (16:52.741)
Bye!
Chris (16:57.882)
Uh, don't take daddy's headphones.
Matt (17:00.392)
Now run away. Don't tell daddy, just run.
Chris (17:02.722)
Talk to them. Talk in here. Say things in here. Huh? Say hello.
Luciano (17:03.221)
Yeah, just run, just go, just go back upstairs.
Luciano (17:09.049)
Hello.
Matt (17:09.3)
Hello?
Chris (17:10.21)
Say, I'm a t- I'm a dinosaur. Something like that. What do you wanna say? Say anything. So much choice.
Luciano (17:18.453)
Even she gets confused. Even she gets confused by Chris. It's not just us.
Matt (17:22.633)
Yeah.
Chris (17:23.214)
He did a monster. He did a dinosaur sound I think. What sound do you want to make? DAAAAAAA! That's a good one! Oh, you scared me. That's so good!
Matt (17:30.149)
Buk buk. Yeah!
Chris (17:38.958)
Do you like being on the recording? Yeah, this is what daddy and his buddies do. I know.
Matt (17:47.004)
Huh? We talk to each other.
Chris (17:50.862)
We make things funny. Who's that mommy? Daddy? That's Laura. Come closer. Up. Talk to Laura. She's talking to you, I think. Say hello. Say hi.
Matt (17:54.164)
That's, that's Laura.
Matt (18:08.576)
I shouldn't say anything.
Luciano (18:08.81)
That's okay, she's not saying anything, that's okay.
Matt (18:11.84)
Okay, friend.
Chris (18:16.539)
Hi.
Matt (18:17.754)
Hi, Bria. What are you up to?
Luciano (18:18.019)
Hahaha
Chris (18:20.646)
Nothing.
Matt (18:21.797)
Nothing. Are you going to bed soon?
Chris (18:25.174)
Yes, now. But my mommy made me and I made cupcakes. I mean... I mean pumpkins.
Matt (18:26.957)
Yeah, me too. Yeah.
Luciano (18:31.457)
Nice, that's nice.
Matt (18:31.904)
Get out.
You made pumpkins? That is so fun. Did you put faces on them?
Chris (18:37.612)
Yeah.
Luciano (18:38.541)
No.
Chris (18:40.29)
But now they went to bed. The pumpkins went to bed? Yes. They're sleeping on the table upstairs in the kitchen, then on the roof.
Matt (18:43.104)
The pumpkins went to bed.
Luciano (18:44.957)
It's late.
Matt (18:47.972)
Yeah. Oh my goodness. Okay. Bye.
Luciano (18:49.474)
Ha ha
Chris (18:53.515)
Are you done now? That's the end of your guest appearance? We'll call her. No, she said no answer. She literally said no comment. We have to contact her agent.
Luciano (18:53.797)
She's like, done. I'm done with this.
Matt (19:02.604)
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Luciano (19:03.131)
HAHAHAHA
Luciano (19:06.769)
Hahaha!
Spencer (19:07.89)
Hey, hey.
Luciano (19:10.007)
Ugh.
Chris (19:13.638)
Oh my god. Yeah.
Matt (19:15.091)
up. What happened? She's like, no answer. Smart.
Chris (19:18.606)
Questions. Wow.
Spencer (19:19.562)
Chris, I don't know if anyone else is here, but when Chris moves his mic, it's like GUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN D
Chris (19:23.032)
Thanks for watching!
Matt (19:25.496)
Oh Spencer, it's almost like you've been doing the entire time we've recorded this podcast.
Luciano (19:28.125)
Yeah, yeah and the other podcast too
Chris (19:29.098)
whole time it was it was it making sound before the break before the break wasn't making sound
Spencer (19:32.242)
What, I make that sound? Oh, you never told me that.
Matt (19:33.18)
Yeah, yes all the time. I told you plenty of times you just kept showing us your crotch.
Luciano (19:37.981)
Yeah, every time, every time you move, every time you move, it makes that sound.
Spencer (19:40.144)
Who is this?
Spencer (19:44.65)
Not horribly annoying.
Chris (19:45.286)
Is my mic making- has my mic been making sound before the break? It was?
Matt (19:49.465)
Yeah, I just ignore it.
Spencer (19:49.524)
Yeah, yeah.
Luciano (19:49.649)
Um, not a little bit. When, when you, when you wave it too, too fast, it does. Yeah. Of course we hear it. We all hear it. It goes, it goes like this. No, it's not different at all.
Spencer (19:52.298)
Do you, just, Chris, do you hear it?
Chris (19:56.639)
Yeah, I hear that.
Matt (19:58.464)
Huh!
Spencer (19:59.358)
Well, that's what your mic's doing.
Chris (20:00.25)
But last time, last time when I was like this, I'm not doing that. When I do, last time I was holding it, it wasn't doing anything, you guys.
Spencer (20:03.474)
No that's different I hear no he's just like. He's like.
Matt (20:09.832)
It's just, you have to watch, it's for Chris for you because you're not using the suspension thing. It's the cable underneath, I think you can rubble that around, you might get some noise on it. Spencer's just because he holds the suspension thing and the suspension thing actually is kinda shit if you're holding it. And then Luciana and I just have it mounted. Yeah, we just mount ours so we don't have to hold it.
Chris (20:16.214)
Yeah.
Chris (20:19.582)
I see.
Luciano (20:26.697)
Yeah. Because it's not meant to be held.
Chris (20:32.842)
And I'm trying to do better audio by keeping it closer and like da da.
Matt (20:35.76)
Yeah, you're fine. You know, that's fine.
Spencer (20:36.114)
You sound good, it's just when you move it, it's like an echo-y vibrato, like, what the fuck is word I'm looking for? Reverb sound.
Chris (20:40.799)
Okay, I-
Matt (20:42.855)
Welcome welcome to two noises Spencer you son of a bitch I actually don't need this so I don't know why it's on I'll put it on for this one thank you
Spencer (20:49.25)
out all great old mother budget this is like this and uh... brickwood back
Matt (20:57.044)
That's good. I'm glad. Fuck you. Hey, what did we leave off? I'm happy to have Bria come in and leave that in there. But should I just spin? Yeah. Where were we there? Let's just go new. Yeah, okay. Let's just leave this whole thing in. This is a great podcast. I think everybody loves it. Alright, let me let me just mark the time here and then I'll make up some shit.
Chris (20:57.774)
You don't want to do that with your back.
Lady Nut?
Chris (21:06.462)
Monopoly?
Luciano (21:10.166)
Just like go somewhere else, yeah.
Spencer (21:13.638)
Moving on. I just started that.
Hehehe
Spencer (21:26.25)
Luciano does the most old man shirt I've ever seen.
Chris (21:36.598)
Do they have a Patreon? Sorry.
Matt (21:38.464)
Shut up. Trying to record a podcast, you fucking monsters.
Chris (21:41.506)
I didn't know you were ready, sorry.
Matt (21:45.792)
Who is that? Which one of you? Spencer? Was it me? Where did that come from? All right.
Luciano (21:48.445)
It was you actually. It was you. Yeah. I don't know, but it was.
Matt (22:02.464)
Thanks, Bria. That was probably more scary than most of this movie was, but that's good. We'll have to capture that for later. Other scary things that happened in this movie.
Luciano (22:07.383)
Hahaha
Chris (22:08.194)
I'm so proud.
Chris (22:16.75)
Scary. Scary?
Luciano (22:17.411)
I have one.
Matt (22:17.556)
Why? No, but like I want to know why Steve, the old creepy guy, I guess he's just regular 80s creepy, but why did he want to reopen this place?
Chris (22:24.928)
Mm.
Chris (22:32.331)
money laundering.
Luciano (22:32.997)
It was his parents or whatever, right? So yeah, that's what they say. He's his ancestor. They say his ancestors or whatever.
Chris (22:35.47)
What is it? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Matt (22:36.576)
Oh, I see, it was a family estate. That's right, he does.
Spencer (22:38.898)
No, no. No, no, you guys got it all wrong. When Steve was a young boy, he always had a dream.
Matt (22:43.178)
Okay.
Oh god.
Luciano (22:47.899)
He drowned in that lake. Is that what happened?
Spencer (22:50.078)
He dreamed of owning his very own Camp Crystal Lake. That was always his dream. With those names, and he wanted to make a franchise. And when he found out this young boy got murdered at this, this camp, he saw dollar signs. He said, that's the kind of camp I want to run.
Chris (22:58.862)
franchise.
Matt (23:11.931)
Crystal Lake.
Chris (23:14.798)
Ching!
Spencer (23:19.918)
So he went to his aunt and asked for an investment. And that aunt.
Chris (23:26.778)
Let me catch some money.
Luciano (23:28.325)
It was Mrs. Voorhees. Hahahaha!
Spencer (23:29.286)
was Mrs. Voorhees. She... It's all come full circle. She was the invisible investor in Camp Bristol Lake. Yes.
Luciano (23:40.616)
The angel investor, if you will.
Matt (23:44.452)
Not an angel.
Chris (23:45.902)
Stevie, tell me what you gonna do with this money because listen, I got people to kill, okay? I'm still mourning my Jason.
Matt (23:54.76)
What accents this Chris, you're just kind of shifting.
Spencer (23:56.014)
All of them.
Luciano (23:56.357)
Yeah, the answer is yes.
Chris (23:56.482)
Don't ask questions.
Matt (24:00.268)
shifting.
Chris (24:00.512)
Exactly.
Spencer (24:03.078)
Steve said I'm gonna grow a mustache and I'm gonna wear the short shorts the shortest shorts We've ever seen and I'm gonna be the best damn creepy camp counselor you ever seen
Luciano (24:03.141)
Do you think she...
Luciano (24:12.177)
Listen, listen. Yeah, they were jorts and listen. Listen, out of all of the decades, out of all of the decades, the 80s certainly was one of them. And and you know, this is like a product of its time. And it's uncalled it's uncomfortable. And it's
Matt (24:12.564)
They were jorts. Thank you very much.
Spencer (24:14.75)
The shortest shorts you've ever seen. Short shorts.
Matt (24:17.248)
Short charts.
Spencer (24:29.266)
Would you call it would you would you call the eighties would you call the eighties the jort decade of the century.
Matt (24:29.423)
No.
Luciano (24:35.869)
I think I have to, I think I'm obliged to do that, because it was.
Chris (24:40.654)
But we also know Steve was terrible with money because just because he just his because his mentally Deranged aunt Voorhees Gave was the benefactor of his porn camp like he wanted to film porn. That's what he wanted to do He was terrible with money. He gave mrs. Sandy at the diner He let her keep the change because she apparently She like he she wasn't
Luciano (24:50.137)
Hahaha
Spencer (24:54.994)
Well, that's what that's what that was the business model.
Matt (24:58.677)
This is true.
Spencer (25:02.598)
Yeah, who does that?
Matt (25:05.326)
I'm sorry, he tipped a woman and now he's terrible with money? How dare he?
Spencer (25:08.287)
Yeah, he's giving away money for free
Chris (25:08.91)
Terrible. Listen, listen, because he the money supposed to go into is all of the money and production cost it takes in order to stand up porn episodes from his, his production. But he's got a perfect brain fart. He's got a perfect location. Location. He has his perfect location in order to shoot so many different scenes. But he's blowing all of his money on like tipping.
Luciano (25:11.644)
I have to say
Matt (25:11.887)
What an idiot!
Spencer (25:26.794)
Credit score?
Luciano (25:28.183)
He's got a perfect brain fight? Nice.
Luciano (25:34.745)
Can I just say the most disturbing thing about that scene is him getting a coffee and a pie for $2. That's... Ha ha ha.
Spencer (25:36.448)
It's called
Chris (25:43.583)
It was creepy.
Spencer (25:44.926)
You already
Matt (25:45.596)
It cost him $25,000 to like rebuild Camp Crystal Lake. Steal the fucking century.
Luciano (25:49.459)
Exactly. It was so disturbing. That's the most disturbing thing about this movie. How cheaper things were.
Spencer (25:49.677)
Into a into the foreign capital
Chris (25:50.913)
Right.
Spencer (25:54.546)
and it's called is po-
and his porn company is called Camp Crystal Cake.
Chris (26:02.442)
What was, so what was gonna be his flagship episode? What was Steve's new porn launch flagship episode going to be called? Stab me hard.
Luciano (26:02.601)
No.
Matt (26:13.024)
Why does it have to be murdering? He didn't know the murders were gonna happen.
Spencer (26:13.378)
Yeah, he didn't know it was gonna be murderous. What is s- That was the stupidest thing.
Chris (26:15.746)
I don't know, he's not a writer, he's a producer.
Luciano (26:15.759)
I-I-
Matt (26:18.416)
No shit, he's not a writer. He's not creative.
Chris (26:21.23)
That's right.
Luciano (26:21.281)
I mean, with that mustache is the actor, not... let's be honest.
Chris (26:24.578)
He's also the president for the Hair Club of Men.
Spencer (26:26.054)
It's called, the first episode was called Pitching a Tent.
Luciano (26:30.321)
Oh, there you go.
Matt (26:30.498)
see, Spencer gets it.
Chris (26:31.892)
Well, he's the writer. He's a writer. Were you working for Steve?
Matt (26:33.58)
Spencer's the writer.
Spencer (26:36.622)
It comes full circle.
Chris (26:39.261)
Yeah.
Luciano (26:39.448)
Hahaha!
Matt (26:40.877)
And Steve is Spencer's great uncle.
Spencer (26:43.251)
40 years later.
Chris (26:44.386)
oooohhh Spencer! I've sent you an electronic mail! hehehehe
Luciano (26:45.57)
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Spencer (26:49.669)
And I'm opening the website Camp Crystal Cake.
Luciano (26:50.293)
Oh, and Steve is now apparently Steve is now British as well. According to that was what you did.
Chris (26:56.622)
That's not a British accent, I've just chopped up, you don't know how to hear things, but anyways.
Luciano (27:01.534)
You don't know how to say things.
Matt (27:02.536)
Wow, okay, so we've gone to talking about Friday the 13th to our going over if your accent is good or not for your little bit you're doing.
Chris (27:04.386)
Help us. Help us. Don't let him cook. Help us.
Spencer (27:10.266)
It's and the answer is no, it's not good. Moving along.
Luciano (27:11.241)
Yes. HAHAHAHA
Matt (27:13.639)
If it's not...
Chris (27:14.126)
Exactly! It wasn't an accent at all! Anyways...
Matt (27:17.429)
Wasn't it? You are as good as actor as the woman playing Annie was.
Luciano (27:23.817)
Yeah. Oh my god. What? What the fuck was that?
Spencer (27:23.872)
That's low.
Chris (27:24.766)
And you're as good a listener.
And you're as a good listener as Brenda was.
Matt (27:30.2)
Hey Chris, can you just let us talk about this movie for five seconds? Just let me segue so we can talk about the movie, that's all I want.
Spencer (27:33.144)
He let us segue?
Chris (27:34.328)
No!
Spencer (27:37.274)
And another thing!
Chris (27:38.444)
Segway! That's right!
Luciano (27:41.633)
Yeah, I don't... what was wrong with her face? Like... Annie.
Chris (27:45.206)
Which who? Oh.
Spencer (27:47.322)
Did you get an accident?
Matt (27:47.338)
any.
She was just like way too happy and then.
Luciano (27:49.797)
I... she didn't know how to like... she had all the emotions go through her face at the same time. It was horrible.
Chris (27:52.91)
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEE E E E E E E E E E E E E E E
Matt (27:56.682)
Yeah.
Spencer (27:57.29)
You guys are gonna have to clarify which name goes with which person because all their names are so generically replaceable Yes, but name all the characters. I dare you don't look it up. Don't look at a list
Matt (28:01.16)
Okay, so Spencer, did you watch this movie? Did you even watch this movie?
Luciano (28:01.497)
Hahaha!
Chris (28:04.846)
That's a good question.
Luciano (28:08.361)
I can. All right. Steve, Ned, Mrs. Varhese, Annie, Alice, Brenda, and Bill.
Matt (28:08.456)
Okay. Okay, so like, Mrs. Voorhees, Bill.
Chris (28:10.702)
Brenda, Ned, Jack, Marcy, Mrs. Voorhees, Sandy, Officer Dorff who didn't want any weirdness in here. There was also, yeah, the guy on the, the officer. Officer, well, you said name. Well, that's bonus points. Exactly, and Jim Truckdriver asked Grabber.
Matt (28:17.67)
Steve.
Luciano (28:22.681)
That's not a character. That's, that's, I know, but that's, that doesn't count. He's there for like two seconds.
Matt (28:26.036)
The motorcycle guy. No, but we got them all already. And Ralphie, and Ralphie.
Luciano (28:33.559)
and Ralphie.
Spencer (28:36.53)
I don't believe you all just made up those names. I don't believe you. Fine, no, you're wrong. I'll name them, ready? Devin, Alex, Chad, Penelope, Finona. Sorry. Michelle, Michael, James, Matt, Chloe, is that too much? Samantha.
Matt (28:36.763)
Uh
Luciano (28:36.794)
HAHAHAHA
Matt (28:39.892)
They're all accurate. Look it up, Google it if you don't believe us. No.
Luciano (28:41.59)
Yeah.
Chris (28:41.641)
That sounds like you agreed with this.
Matt (28:48.61)
It's the 80s. None of those names will be the name of 80s kids.
Luciano (28:50.493)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's no chat, there were no chads in the eighties.
Matt (28:56.073)
Thank you. Obviously Matt, obviously Luciano.
Luciano (29:00.573)
Yeah, no Luciano wouldn't be there. Not in Crystal Lake. Luke maybe, a Luke maybe.
Matt (29:03.868)
Ah, Luke, I'll give you a Luke. Chris.
Spencer (29:06.538)
Luke, Brad, Chris, Eugene S Humphrey.
Luciano (29:09.093)
Chris.
Chris (29:10.702)
Chris was more end 80s, mid to end 80s.
Luciano (29:12.969)
No, don't even try it. Don't even fucking try it. Yeah, you have to.
Matt (29:15.539)
Don't even try.
Chris (29:17.13)
I don't have to try it. I do.
Matt (29:18.836)
Get outta here. Anyways, this movie we watched, which we're trying to- I keep trying- You know what? I'm skipping the plot holes, cause you fuckers won't let me talk about what I wanna talk about.
Spencer (29:24.5)
Hehehe
Chris (29:27.14)
We've done it! We've broken him! We've broken him!
Matt (29:29.024)
You haven't broken me. I just know when I'm... I'm losing a fight. Alright, let me just fucking bookend this properly.
Luciano (29:29.741)
He was... He came broken. He came broken.
Chris (29:34.594)
It's not a fight, we're a team.
Matt (29:39.148)
There's really only one plot hole to speak of. And that might be because plot is a very... It's used sparingly. It's very expensive. It was expensive to have plot in the 80s, so they just used it very sparingly. Yeah, and for porn. Porn actually took most of the plot, so this is all you could get. What we did find, though, is we meet Mrs. Voorhees near the end of the movie, and she goes through the movie just...
Chris (29:39.182)
Pallet cleanser.
Luciano (29:47.367)
It's a kind word to use.
Chris (29:53.335)
and for porn.
Luciano (29:54.436)
Yeah.
Chris (29:57.57)
See?
Chris (30:04.555)
Mm-hmm.
Matt (30:07.332)
murdering people in very fun and creative ways and then she starts to really struggle with Alice in ways that defy Logic, you know she goes through and is able to hide under a Bed and shove an arrow through a guy's neck through the bed through his neck hold him in place. Correct Through the entire bed. Yeah
Chris (30:21.918)
and hold him at the same time. Through the bed. Can you imagine? That's like a one inch punch. You know, that's like a one inch punch. Punch.
Luciano (30:23.488)
Through the bed, yeah.
Spencer (30:30.642)
It was a cot, it's a camp bed, it's not gonna be fucking Serta mattress approved.
Luciano (30:33.921)
Still...
Matt (30:36.424)
Spencer, how many fucking human necks have you slid a goddamn arrow through? Yeah, today.
Chris (30:36.618)
Mrs. Voorhees. Good.
Spencer (30:39.806)
Today?
Chris (30:41.058)
Through a bed, through a bed.
Spencer (30:43.3)
to have?
Matt (30:44.817)
Okay.
Spencer (30:46.058)
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Luciano (30:46.474)
Wait, how do you slide half of them? I don't wanna know. Yeah, okay, fair enough.
Matt (30:48.572)
No, no, we're not no follow-up questions. So so she did that but then and she carries it net around She obviously throws brenda through a window But then she can't Sure, but she still got it done
Chris (30:53.378)
You know?
Chris (30:58.574)
through the window.
Luciano (30:59.349)
Yeah, in slow motion, but still.
Spencer (31:02.034)
No, that was regular time. It wasn't slow-mo. That was just old lady speed. Eeeeyah!
Chris (31:04.746)
That was. Ha ha ha.
Matt (31:05.844)
Maya, maybe she's starting to slow down there, right? But then other times, when she's...
Luciano (31:07.078)
HAHAHAHA! That's fair. AHH! My back! My back! HAHAHA!
Chris (31:13.198)
She also had Annie, put Annie in her jeep too.
Matt (31:16.232)
Yeah, and then other times, you know, when she's chasing Alice and trying to do stuff, like Alice throws like a roll of toilet paper at her and that staggers her. And she's like, But then she hits her with her frying pan, she fucking gets up and walks away.
Chris (31:23.178)
You know?
Luciano (31:24.593)
Yeah. Yeah, but yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Spencer (31:26.349)
That gave me, that toilet paper gave her some brain bleeding.
Chris (31:32.398)
True.
Matt (31:33.325)
So I just want to know, what are Mrs. Voorhees powers? Super strength seems to be like... It's, yeah.
Spencer (31:39.666)
A given.
Luciano (31:41.193)
It's inconsistent. She only has super strength when Jason is talking through her own mouth. Killer, mommy! Killer! Then she gets strong and then she gets weak.
Matt (31:52.348)
Also when she sees people banging or half-naked she gets her strength up because she gets horny.
Chris (31:52.695)
Cause that's.
Luciano (31:55.389)
Yeah, she gets a boost. Yeah, like reverse kryptonite
Chris (31:56.998)
Right, because you get well, well.
Matt (31:59.9)
Yeah, Hornet Knight? I don't know, just move on. Move along, we don't need to stay here. No, nothing to see here. Yeah.
Chris (32:03.502)
Hornight.
Luciano (32:03.718)
Yeah, you tried. Nothing to see here, move right along.
Spencer (32:09.266)
Maybe by the end of the movie her shingles medication wore off.
Chris (32:10.594)
Fortnite.
Luciano (32:18.309)
Oh my God, that was so unnecessarily awesome. Yeah. Running out of like heart medication and shingles vaccines.
Spencer (32:20.49)
the
Matt (32:22.976)
Okay so she's run out of drugs near the end of the movie.
Chris (32:28.334)
That makes sense.
Spencer (32:31.754)
Maybe she's, yeah, high on forest toads.
Matt (32:36.704)
So does she have super speed?
Luciano (32:38.19)
What? Yeah, definitely because she... Yeah.
Spencer (32:40.335)
Like, well, let's go through the logistics of this. We know she has strength. She pins that guy to the wall, Bill to the wall. Bill weighs, I'm gonna say a minimum of a buck 70, right? So she's dead lifting a 170 pound man. I assume holding one hand whilst piercing an arrow through him and through the wall to the point where it can hold his weight up.
Matt (32:44.351)
Okay.
Chris (32:45.546)
of like powers?
Matt (32:48.264)
of the murders.
Luciano (32:48.633)
Bill. Bill is his name.
Chris (32:49.858)
Right?
true.
Matt (32:54.226)
Yeah.
Luciano (32:59.189)
With one hand...
Exactly. Into the door enough to hold him up. Yes.
Chris (33:05.01)
Yup.
Spencer (33:10.329)
So I'm guessing that's going to take a PSI of roughly 1,200.
Chris (33:11.682)
Takes time.
Matt (33:15.68)
I don't think that's the correct measurement to use, but I don't have an alternative, so.
Luciano (33:17.869)
I don't think none of those things are right.
Chris (33:21.271)
I think he's onto something. Let him cook, PSI.
Spencer (33:22.83)
I think she's per square inch of pressure. She's up there in at least the high 1200s.
Chris (33:29.358)
Don't explain it, just let it just... Drop it, drop it, just put the egg on the griddle and keep cooking.
Luciano (33:32.033)
Wait, so are you saying, are you saying like her power is like to be able to calculate necessary pressure on the fly? Does that be dope? Ha ha ha.
Matt (33:32.118)
Spencer, too far.
Spencer (33:34.652)
Sorry.
Spencer (33:41.19)
If that's what I said, that's what I meant.
Matt (33:43.984)
Okay, perfect. So she has not, does not have super strength. She just has a very specific math skill.
Chris (33:44.11)
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Chris (33:49.614)
He's cooking.
Spencer (33:51.826)
Well, maybe also I thought about this too, because I was like, how could she possibly pull that off? What if she had like a ridiculously high powered, kind of like a nail, like not a nail gun, what are they, like a harpoon, like a crossbow, that when she shot it, it like propelled him into the wall and stuck him there, and then she shot it two more times.
Chris (34:01.258)
Nail gun?
Luciano (34:03.597)
Like a crossbow?
Chris (34:11.723)
Again, yeah.
Matt (34:12.968)
I'm willing to believe she murdered him before she harpooned him into the door.
Luciano (34:15.467)
Yeah.
Spencer (34:15.902)
So what if she stood him up, like, leaned him against a chair, so he was standing while dead, and then Harpoon shot up at him?
Matt (34:19.967)
Yeah.
Luciano (34:22.397)
Okay, then she definitely has super speed then because she is everywhere in that fucking camp. Like she got clearly.
Matt (34:22.772)
And then shut up.
Chris (34:29.774)
true. You know, she's an artist at her heart. Like the thing about it, she's setting all of this, I'm doing it. She's doing all this setup based on whoever is going to be the last victim so that all of those reveals, like she planned it all out to a tee. She didn't have to put Bill, she didn't have to nail Bill on the wall. She didn't have to put Ned on that bed. She didn't have to hang a porn star producer.
Matt (34:35.628)
Show your work.
Spencer (34:50.41)
Thank you.
Spencer (34:56.562)
Sounds like a Dr. Sue something poem.
Luciano (34:59.614)
Yeah, it does.
Chris (35:00.07)
She didn't have to. She didn't have to hang a porn producer Steve from a tree. She didn't have to do any of that. She could have just killed him and let it go. Correct. She's an artist.
Spencer (35:05.45)
She likes to, you're right, she likes to theatrics.
Luciano (35:07.949)
But to be fair, to be fair, nobody saw Ned, nobody saw Ned dead. Because Kevin Bacon gets like a drip of blood and then he gets fucking skewered by an arrow before he could even see what it was. And then Marcy goes to the bathroom and gets fucking axed in the face. I also, can I just say, I'm like Matt, Matt has, you know, he doesn't like that any.
Chris (35:27.58)
in the face.
Luciano (35:35.869)
and is acting and I agree with that. But also the face that Marcy makes when she turns around and sees that someone has an ax, she looks like she's like, oh fuck, I have to do this again? That's her face. Exactly. Oh.
Spencer (35:43.41)
Yeah, she's like, oh no. Oh.
Chris (35:44.366)
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHJ
Matt (35:47.712)
Thanks for watching!
Chris (35:48.638)
Like, I gotta fill out new hire policy forms again?
Matt (35:53.012)
Yeah, that's the face I make when I get asked a question in my face.
Spencer (35:56.658)
Side note, Axed in the Face is a great band name.
Luciano (35:57.693)
Yeah, that's not an accent to the face like face that's like a fuck I forgot to do my taxes face. That's what that face is. But Oh, maybe Mrs. Voorhis was her accountant. There you go. That's why she remembered and then got asked to the face.
Chris (35:58.19)
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Spencer (36:05.926)
Maybe, maybe, maybe she did both. Maybe she reminded her.
Chris (36:06.638)
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
Mmm.
Chris (36:14.734)
Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Mmm.
Spencer (36:19.578)
Yeah.
Chris (36:20.366)
I should have tipped.
Matt (36:23.028)
You just said tipping is an idiot's game.
Luciano (36:23.217)
Yeah. An idiot's game.
Chris (36:25.73)
I wasn't I wasn't I wasn't Annie maybe I'm saying maybe that was what crossed her mind See And that goes back to my point like mrs Voorhees is an artiste setting it up so that all the jump scares for the final victim can Unfold the way they did
Spencer (36:29.409)
Maybe she's terrible with money like he is. Tipping 35 cents.
Spencer (36:44.65)
Is it just for the final victim or for like the people who find the crime scene? And how would she have displayed Alice? She would have put the Monopoly board.
Chris (36:50.539)
that too.
Luciano (36:50.54)
Yeah.
Chris (36:55.278)
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Spencer (36:58.702)
upper mouth.
Chris (36:58.708)
in her.
Luciano (36:58.873)
How... Yeah. Jesus Christ.
Chris (37:02.418)
inside her inside her chest, just her chest cavity, just like seven.
Spencer (37:04.67)
the
Luciano (37:06.977)
I think she, how did, so she walked in like, cause I also didn't understand why she decided to show up at that time and like, so I'm going to help you deer and then go in and kill her. I'm not sure why that was.
Spencer (37:08.304)
hehe
Chris (37:20.334)
She was enjoying it. It was the climax of her PS de resistance.
Spencer (37:22.802)
Yeah, it was the high it was the ultimate high to be there with the victim.
Luciano (37:27.15)
I see. And what? She wanted-
Chris (37:27.262)
I got them all. You're a peon. You're another NPC in my chessboard.
Luciano (37:32.581)
She probably wanted to stab her with the machete, right?
Matt (37:36.428)
That's what I got the impression of, because she could have killed her a couple other times without necessarily using the machete, right?
Luciano (37:40.581)
I mean, we've established that she, you know, her powers were on cooldown, let's put it that way. So...
Chris (37:41.859)
Yeah.
Chris (37:46.766)
Mm-hmm. Ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Spencer (37:48.359)
She wanted to show her Huey Lewis in the news albums.
Matt (37:48.608)
So so she is.
Chris (37:53.315)
home.
Luciano (37:53.556)
Hahahaha
Spencer (37:53.65)
This was their most dynamic album.
Matt (37:56.407)
It's 1980, what albums do you think were out at that time? You sure? 1980? I feel like...
Spencer (37:58.426)
Sports. That's the only one I know. I did it.
Luciano (38:03.233)
Right. I think that's 8086 or something. Isn't that the one that has the power of love?
Spencer (38:07.719)
HIP to be square.
Luciano (38:10.593)
Is that a novel of his? Oh, okay.
Matt (38:12.519)
That's a song.
Chris (38:12.782)
flexing. Eighty three. Oh, it was it was Huey Lewis in the news. 1980 period, period.
Spencer (38:19.443)
Boom.
Luciano (38:20.305)
Okay, there you go.
Matt (38:22.308)
Sports was 1983. Good job. You fucking loser.
Chris (38:22.827)
applicable.
Spencer (38:25.426)
Ha ha!
Chris (38:26.43)
No, no, he got it. He got 1980 was Huey Lewis in the news.
Matt (38:29.896)
No, he said sports, he got that wrong, because he's an idiot. Huey Lewis and the News is the band.
Spencer (38:31.346)
Yeah, but I was, I was, I was joking. I was messing with you guys.
Luciano (38:32.099)
Yeah.
Chris (38:32.406)
Oops, I tried to help you.
Luciano (38:36.025)
She had... No, she had... She had a... She had an advanced copy of sports.
Matt (38:38.216)
Your jokes are stupid and wrong.
Chris (38:40.615)
Oh
Spencer (38:42.786)
She was an early investor of Huey Lewis in the news sports album.
Matt (38:45.137)
I'm sorry.
Luciano (38:46.495)
She was, listen, it was Huey Lewis and the news. She was the news. That's her nickname. Ha ha ha.
Matt (38:51.172)
Listen, I, okay, I need to focus this right now. We can come back to this after.
Spencer (38:52.046)
and originally it was Huey Lewis. No, originally it was Huey Lewis and the noose. It was for hanging people.
Chris (38:54.951)
Don't let him cook! Keep throwing facts at him!
Matt (38:59.84)
How? Okay, okay, I need you to drive this Huey Lewis and the new strain back around to Mrs. Voorhees powers.
Chris (39:00.002)
OOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Luciano (39:00.261)
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Chris (39:06.995)
Mm-hmm.
Spencer (39:07.214)
Okay. When she hears Huey Lewis, that she harnesses the power of love. And therefore making her an all time force the love of her dead child. Which she then uses to kill the counselors who responsible. You don't need money. Don't want it on them.
Chris (39:18.424)
Uh huh.
Luciano (39:18.533)
Hahaha!
Chris (39:24.258)
Feel them, feel them, feel them.
Chris (39:30.903)
Mm-hmm.
Beep beep I can't hear a thing
Luciano (39:34.637)
Three.
Spencer (39:35.443)
don't need no credit card to ride this train X face
Matt (39:37.348)
Okay, okay. Why did she murder, how did she murder the first two kids in 50, 58, 59? Yeah.
Chris (39:39.328)
Impale it.
Chris (39:44.05)
Old Barry and Claudette in the yellow outfits. Yeah, man. Those are their names. Yeah.
Spencer (39:45.79)
Oh, that was when she was listening to Little Richard.
Luciano (39:52.074)
The kids.
Matt (39:52.084)
Sorry, what was she listening to? Little Richard. Does Little Richard give her any specific powers?
Spencer (39:52.645)
Little Richard.
Chris (39:54.487)
Literature.
Spencer (39:57.787)
power of cocaine.
Chris (39:58.967)
Racism.
Luciano (39:59.723)
The power of funk
Chris (40:01.59)
Power Funk! That works.
Matt (40:03.509)
FUNK, RACISM AND COCAIN. Okay.
Spencer (40:04.455)
Hehehehe
Luciano (40:05.413)
Hahaha sounds very sounds very late 50s so that tracks.
Spencer (40:07.798)
Yeah
Chris (40:08.134)
It's a hell of a combination.
Spencer (40:11.122)
You just put that together and you've got a little Richard.
Matt (40:15.613)
Wow.
Chris (40:16.29)
Racist? Ah, trying to get, hmm, Lucille. That takes somebody back.
Luciano (40:16.757)
LUCY!
Chris (40:28.578)
So she was an investor in Huey Lewis and the news, right?
Spencer (40:29.962)
That's the power of love! Ding, ding, ding! Hehehehe. Okay.
Matt (40:32.188)
No, no, you're answering the question. How are we solving these plot holes? We found the plot hole, she has lots of powers. Can we solve this? Can we make that last scene make sense to her? The power level they've given us through the first two thirds of that movie.
Luciano (40:34.061)
Hahahaha
Chris (40:42.282)
Mm-hmm.
Spencer (40:46.078)
So I think that the only real thing I can think of is that she, like Jason's spirit is actually in her, inhabits her, and he is like, and that's why that doing that actually like gives her a little charge. Like his killing spirit is actually controlling her, and then therefore the killer in the next movies.
Chris (40:48.526)
She can't be OP the whole time. Yeah, go on.
Chris (40:58.654)
Inhabits? Inhabits are... Mm-hmm. Killer money!
Chris (41:06.853)
Mm-hmm. Because she's letting it flow. Elmo knows where you-
Luciano (41:07.158)
Mmm.
Chris (41:13.687)
Mm.
Spencer (41:15.858)
are still that same spirit. It goes on. Yes. That boy was a terrible, terrible boy.
Matt (41:18.932)
So the killing spirit of a 8 year old boy powers her to reverse. Alright.
Luciano (41:23.211)
Yeah.
Matt (41:27.028)
That sounds like it.
Chris (41:27.79)
I thought you were gonna say he was a terrible, terrible swimmer.
Spencer (41:29.346)
He only, well he was, but he was only in the water because he was trying to strangle fish.
Matt (41:30.652)
I love that too.
Luciano (41:31.225)
That too!
Chris (41:35.758)
Shit.
Luciano (41:37.837)
Just trying to garrot fish and failing. Yeah, okay.
Spencer (41:38.812)
Yeah.
Chris (41:42.094)
Dang. Ponyo... ..is how you get rid of a goldfish.
Spencer (41:43.982)
And that, my friends, is why.
is white.
Matt (41:49.524)
Anyone else want to take a stab at this?
Luciano (41:52.286)
I think we've cracked it.
Matt (41:54.817)
Chris?
Chris (41:55.758)
She has a... So, tying back to her powers, right? No, I ain't gonna... Okay, well fine, I'll leave it.
Spencer (41:57.086)
You're going to regret that. No, I'm joking. I know I'm joking.
Chris (42:03.678)
Okay, so powers, right? She has, I think she might be a slight precog, like she has precognition ability. Not saying it's through the roof, but like she's still able to find everybody. Just because she knows the campgrounds doesn't mean she knows where everybody is. You can surveil, but at the same time, these people are moving around. So orchestrating yourself while not being seen and pulling off a murder, I don't know.
Spencer (42:28.442)
Yeah, she's a, she's a, she's a pre-cog. She's like, I'm predicting these teenagers are going to have sex. Are going to have sex at this camp. Oh my God. I predicted it again. I'm a genius.
Luciano (42:29.349)
I think her...
Luciano (42:35.205)
They're gonna FUCK! Yeah.
Chris (42:35.538)
It'll be fucking. Yes, get specific, get specific. These kids are going to be fucking in the attic. Barry and Claudette. I hate Barry. I'm going to kill him.
Luciano (42:40.721)
I think, honestly, honestly...
Luciano (42:48.645)
I, for me, her most impressive power is the ability to kill with like slashing instruments and not get a drop of blood anywhere. That's her, that's her, her biggest power. Yeah, very, very professional. Yeah.
Chris (42:56.182)
But does that? Oh, hmm.
Matt (42:57.452)
It's very helpful. It's very clean.
Chris (43:03.874)
So what was Mrs. Voorhees's... So like with that level of precision, was she like a sushi chef or a surgeon?
Luciano (43:10.197)
A surgeon. A surgeon. A shoo she shush?
Spencer (43:13.362)
I should... No, she was a shurgeon!
Chris (43:15.69)
I was swallowing water at the same time.
Matt (43:16.358)
Wow, the power of racism compels you.
Chris (43:20.11)
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHW
Spencer (43:26.618)
What if what if she was a Ex military that ran in Desert Storm. I know what happened in the 90s, but hear me out Let me finish
Luciano (43:35.133)
Have you... wait, have you seen... Yeah, have you seen her run? Wait, have you seen her run at the end of the movie? She's no military person.
Chris (43:35.999)
HAHAHAHA!
Matt (43:37.837)
There's so many words you could use Vietnam, Korean.
Chris (43:41.646)
Doom doom doom. Doom doom doom.
Spencer (43:46.386)
But that was no. Yeah. And that was after. That was after her shingle medication wore off.
Chris (43:47.286)
But she's it, she's...
Matt (43:48.105)
She got those injuries in Nam. Charlie was everywhere.
Luciano (43:50.637)
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Chris (43:50.798)
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Luciano (43:55.041)
Oh no! Oh no!
Chris (43:57.41)
She's seen some shit, she's in her twilight years, bruh.
Spencer (43:59.898)
Imagine she's killing the teens. Charlie everywhere. There's Charlie all over! How did I get back to Hanoi?
Luciano (44:04.589)
That's what I was thinking.
Chris (44:08.002)
Weinstein, Weinstein! Kill it, Mom! This makes so, this makes...
Luciano (44:14.711)
I thought I had left this jungle, but here I am again killing Charlie!
Spencer (44:15.274)
Here I am, I just killed a cow!
Matt (44:19.572)
And then, yeah.
Chris (44:19.586)
This is another one of her powers. She allows... Yeah.
Luciano (44:22.023)
Oh my god.
Spencer (44:23.686)
It's the Charlie! That's what the chitch is for! Chitch-ch-Charlie everywhere!
Luciano (44:25.982)
Hey! I ha- I-
Matt (44:27.276)
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Chris (44:31.858)
It makes so much sense. This is another one of her powers.
Luciano (44:33.285)
Do you think that the sound has something to do? Because when it's like she's killing, it's a lot faster. Do you think she's psyching herself up with the...
Chris (44:46.25)
Yes, and I think that's what happens when a spirit inhabits her and like with her nan buddies. It's not just Jason Well, no, it's like how do you like think about it? She's been doing all this killing in one day Like the majority of them in one day No, no, no. I'm talking about in this movie. It's like over the course of one day all All that energy has to come from somewhere Jason mother anger all of her non buddies
Luciano (44:52.495)
It rattles inside her. That's what that sound is.
Luciano (44:59.865)
since 1974. I know. Oh yeah, yeah.
Spencer (45:14.506)
Charlie!
Luciano (45:15.345)
And Charlie! And Charlie apparently!
Chris (45:15.858)
and each one not well i don't know okay fine if you want i tried to help you but you keep digging down
Spencer (45:22.751)
I just pictured talking to one of her victims. This is the worst day in your life. But for me, this is just a Tuesday in Nam.
Luciano (45:31.585)
And then you're putting on like camouflage, like fucking Arnie on commando. It's like, I'm gonna get you Charlie. I thought I killed y'all in that damn jungle, but no, here you are again killing my baby boy.
Chris (45:32.336)
No!
Spencer (45:33.294)
Yeah, putting it on the board.
Chris (45:36.11)
dum do all along the watchtower
Spencer (45:43.526)
Yeah.
Spencer (45:51.299)
It's like, he's like, war is over. War is not over. War is not over. It's not over for me.
Luciano (45:52.115)
Ha!
Chris (45:55.162)
You're a... Yeah.
Luciano (45:56.582)
Oh my God, talk about shell shock.
Chris (45:59.33)
Talk about first blood, bro.
Spencer (46:00.29)
I think we cracked it. The power of Nam.
Luciano (46:01.253)
Ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Matt (46:02.801)
Okay, so what were her powers?
Chris (46:06.222)
Strength.
Luciano (46:06.767)
The power of PTSD. Hahahaha!
Matt (46:09.688)
Hahaha
Chris (46:09.747)
VSD Ghost inhabiting
Matt (46:13.932)
Perfect. She has lots and lots of powers. I'm really glad we established that. Let us move into our favorite section, my favorite section, the fan's favorite section. Just some general questions we're trying to iron out to best understand what happened in the movie and things around it. So...
Chris (46:17.666)
Mm-hmm.
Matt (46:35.592)
You know, I think the easy one here is...
Matt (46:41.076)
We don't know what Mrs. Voorhees job was, we've speculated. Professional soldier killer, accountant, mercenary medium, sushi chef, sushi, whatever that is. I wanna know, what if Mrs. Voorhees taught sex ed? What would she teach the children in this class?
Spencer (46:47.835)
surgeon.
Luciano (46:48.165)
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Chris (46:48.843)
Hmm?
Spencer (46:50.782)
Surgeon. Sushi chef. Ha ha ha. Sushi chef. Ha ha ha.
Chris (46:51.724)
Medium.
Chris (46:56.546)
Suzy, Suzy. Sheeshaw, sheeshawed by a sheeshawer.
Luciano (47:08.761)
Oh my god. Sex equal murders kids.
Spencer (47:11.11)
You see, you see when a man and a woman love each other very much, they shake hands. They know they firmly shake hands and agree to order a baby.
Luciano (47:17.113)
Get stabbed in the gut. They get stabbed in the gut.
Chris (47:22.574)
and they go their separate ways!
Matt (47:24.044)
I'm sorry, Spencer, are you sure they're allowed to shake hands? Touch? Like not touching, right? With gloves. Yeah. Okay, that makes sense.
Spencer (47:26.81)
With gloves. With protection.
Luciano (47:30.369)
leaving a space in between for Jesus, yeah. Ha ha ha.
Spencer (47:32.515)
Yeah, they cut the hands to leave a space for Jesus. And so they get that sweet pop sound.
Matt (47:37.012)
Yeah
Chris (47:37.23)
Ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Luciano (47:37.752)
Hahahaha
Matt (47:41.3)
Perfect. Is that Jesus saying, bye?
Luciano (47:42.23)
Yeah.
Spencer (47:42.242)
And that's Jesus saying, never touch again. And then once they shake hands, they agree to have a child together. And thus, they start the tax forms. And
Luciano (47:45.486)
Yeah.
Chris (47:46.91)
accepted.
Luciano (47:48.896)
Yeah.
Chris (47:49.675)
Yeah.
Chris (47:55.298)
Mm-hmm But and they put a down posit in
Luciano (47:56.391)
and they find a helpful stork.
Luciano (48:02.137)
Don't pause it.
Chris (48:03.639)
down posit.
Spencer (48:03.89)
Because the penis, this is in her class, is actually the devil's horn. And should never be touched or looked upon.
Matt (48:07.361)
Mm-hmm.
Luciano (48:12.29)
Hahaha
Chris (48:15.675)
Mmm.
Luciano (48:15.955)
What does she teach that the vagina is?
Spencer (48:18.942)
The vagina is a gateway.
the realm of souls. And if you look directly, if you look directly into it.
Luciano (48:25.155)
I mean
Matt (48:28.957)
Who lives there?
Luciano (48:31.454)
So if you put the devil into the realm of souls, bad things happen. The soul hole, if you will.
Spencer (48:33.563)
in the soul hole.
Chris (48:35.414)
Armagedding. Armaged-
Spencer (48:36.946)
Don't put the devil in the soul hole. That's that's less than one of the sex ed class. That's the open.
Chris (48:42.346)
Mm. Heh.
Luciano (48:45.257)
That's how she opens the class. Yeah, she writes... Yeah, don't put the devil in the soul hole. Yeah. It's a seven time New York bestseller.
Chris (48:47.178)
and bowls all caps letters on the chalkboard. Dude, then she throws the chalk at one of the students.
Matt (48:52.796)
I actually think that she wrote a book, and the title of the book is...
Spencer (48:55.03)
Yeah, that's actually, it's actually a very common acronym, very common acronym. D P T D H I T S H.
Matt (49:00.34)
And she teaches from that book. Yeah.
Chris (49:05.486)
Chapter 2.
Chris (49:11.942)
Did anyone do the reading? She throws the book at one of the students. The same student!
Spencer (49:12.766)
Yeah
Luciano (49:13.709)
Yeah, she could know she walks into the class, you know, that like in the olden days where the teacher would write their name on the chalkboard, she writes, she writes the title of the book first and then her name. And then throws the chocolate to student. Yeah.
Chris (49:22.894)
Nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh
Chris (49:30.947)
The Chalk.
Spencer (49:31.014)
Mrs. Voorhees, sometimes my devil horn gets bigger on its own. Am I going to hell? When your devil horn grows, it means Satan is embodying you. My husband used to tell me he'd have to shake the devil out of that horn. He'd have to do it once a day.
Luciano (49:37.829)
But be careful, be careful, Timmy, that results in murder.
Matt (49:40.441)
YES!
Chris (49:47.018)
You gotta shake the evil out of the devil horn, Jimmy!
Luciano (49:47.485)
Hahahaha!
Matt (49:54.016)
Ha ha ha.
Luciano (49:55.037)
Yeah, you have to get the essence of the devil out of that horn!
Spencer (49:59.602)
The...
Matt (50:00.084)
Mrs. Voorhees, sometimes my devil horn throws up a little bit and then I feel better. Is that okay?
Chris (50:05.922)
That's the sin, that's the sin, leaving your body.
Luciano (50:07.626)
That's... that's... that's the... the EVIL!
Spencer (50:12.298)
Every time you do that, a little bit of your soul comes out. That's liquid soul, baby. Liquid soul. You're goddamn right it will.
Matt (50:17.644)
That's my soul.
Chris (50:22.83)
Sure, if I eat it, will it go back in where it belongs?
Luciano (50:27.702)
HAHAHAHA
Spencer (50:29.202)
And that's the second point of this class.
Luciano (50:33.11)
She turns into a drill sergeant, which makes sense with her background. Hahahaha
Spencer (50:34.27)
Yeah, she goes back to Nam. She goes, and that's my second point. First things first, you don't put a devil horn in the soul. Second two, you eat your soul juice.
Chris (50:50.882)
DON'T LET IT ESCAPE!
Luciano (50:51.041)
Eat it, drink it with some porridge! Drink it with some porridge.
Spencer (50:51.063)
That'll keep you so pure!
Matt (50:56.416)
So if I understand this correctly...
Women are trying to steal men's soul shoes. Is that what I understand? Through the devil horn. Okay, but what if it gets in the soul hole?
Spencer (51:03.401)
Yes.
Luciano (51:05.093)
Through the devil horn. Yeah.
Spencer (51:07.078)
Yes? Cough cough
Spencer (51:14.494)
You don't want that. You don't want that, boy.
Chris (51:15.822)
End times. You don't want none of them. You don't want those big problems, big fella.
Luciano (51:18.014)
Demons... demons are born!
Matt (51:19.413)
Ha!
How do we stop that from happening?
Chris (51:25.538)
You've got to, you got, just like poi- I got this. Just like snake venom, you must suck the poison out. So you must, if the, if the, if the soul juice goes into the soul hole, you must protect your self, bury your face in the soul hole, and remove, extract the juice. Do you want your soul to survive? Retreat it!
Luciano (51:25.762)
Let's.
Luciano (51:44.626)
Listen, this is sounding, yeah, this is sounding backwards a little bit.
Matt (51:45.324)
Chris, you're advocating oral sex. Uh.
Spencer (51:51.506)
No, no, no. This is...
Chris (51:54.002)
No, no. Have you ever been bit by a viper? Have you? And what did your best friend suck the poison out even if it was on your ass cheek? I bet you he did.
Luciano (51:58.604)
in the sub-
Luciano (52:03.219)
I can confidently say I've never been bitten by a viper in my soul hole.
Chris (52:08.226)
That's because you don't have a soul, Hoid! You are a sinner!
Luciano (52:11.618)
Ha ha ha!
Matt (52:13.861)
This lesson is very confusing. Am I supposed to have sex or not have sex?
Spencer (52:15.282)
What, what, what are you confused about? Don't put the corn, don't put the devil horn in the soul hole, that's one. Two, always eat your soul juice. Three, if your soul juice gets in the soul hole, you suck the soul juice out of the soul hole so you don't lose your soul. What are you confused about? That is number three on my three point plan.
Luciano (52:15.659)
Well, that, that tracks.
Chris (52:20.715)
DO YOU WANT-
Get him, boy he's, get him. Mm.
Chris (52:32.206)
Tag me in! Tag me in Voorhees! Tag me! Tag me, I am also Voorhees! Tag me in! Furthermore, part four! If Soul Juice ends up in- WHAT IF THE SOUL JUICE ENDS UP IN A DIFFERENT AREA LIKE THE BUB BUB?! Well this is what you do! You spread the butt cheeks and you get the Soul Juice out! No Soul Juice left behind!
Spencer (52:43.706)
Ha ha ha!
Spencer (52:52.955)
No.
Luciano (52:54.438)
No, it goes back to her Nam days again
Spencer (52:55.678)
Go back to now that reminds me my soul juice back in now my soldiers
Luciano (53:01.402)
Sucked so I sucked soldiers out of every soldier in that place
Chris (53:01.986)
People!
Spencer (53:03.68)
Uh... uh...
Chris (53:05.651)
D'oh!
We wanted to live. We knew our souls were on the line. Charlie Hall, Chopper's overhead. Napalm, do you know what that is children? The next time you see Soul Juice, let me tell you something. You suck it back in.
Luciano (53:11.333)
I'm out.
Spencer (53:23.21)
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Luciano (53:23.845)
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Matt (53:26.356)
Yeah, I think we covered that topic.
Spencer (53:29.407)
You
Luciano (53:31.918)
Ha ha.
Matt (53:32.512)
That is handled. Completely different question. Who is the bigger perv? Ned or Mrs. Voorhees? Or us?
Luciano (53:35.333)
I'm out.
Spencer (53:41.467)
All of us. All four of us.
Luciano (53:42.141)
All of us. Beyond... You mean... You mean beyond us. Is that what you're saying? Okay.
Chris (53:43.73)
No, no, we were just reciting. No, no, no. No, no, we were just reciting chapters one through three of her class. Hmm.
Matt (53:47.273)
Yeah, Beyond Us.
Spencer (53:49.866)
her class.
Luciano (53:52.926)
That's a nice try. Yeah, we all know the fucking book by heart. So.
Matt (53:55.26)
Yeah, okay. Is she a bigger purve than net or vice versa?
Chris (53:57.634)
You asked Google.
Spencer (54:01.022)
So who's our, I missed, the question is who's the biggest Ned?
Chris (54:02.517)
Mmm. Ned or Miss Forhees.
Matt (54:03.876)
Ned. Or Mrs. Voorhees. Who's the bigger perv? Biggest perv.
Spencer (54:09.49)
Well, and we know that Mrs. Voorhees always waits till after the sex is done before making an appearance. I think that's awfully convenient.
Luciano (54:19.653)
True. Yeah.
Chris (54:23.49)
Barry and Claudette didn't get to bust lady and guy nuts. She got them before they were trying and she still went after them.
Luciano (54:26.558)
But they were trying. Yeah, but yes, but this was like in the past. She got a lot of time to hone her voyeur game.
Spencer (54:34.15)
Yeah. Boy, your game.
Chris (54:34.45)
Okay, well based on that, that makes sense. She needed to get that XP up.
Spencer (54:39.684)
Maybe she's just waiting for them to get rid of their soldiers. Sorry. No, we're moving on.
Luciano (54:39.726)
Yeah.
Matt (54:39.764)
What about Ned? Hear me out.
Luciano (54:44.43)
Hahaha!
Chris (54:46.309)
See? She was taking notes and discovery for her book. But I see. I see.
Matt (54:53.337)
I just want to throw Ned in the game. Ned famously or infamously falls into the lake quote unquote to then sexually assault Brenda when she tries to save his life with Muff the Muff. I'm convinced that-
Luciano (55:04.814)
Yeah.
Spencer (55:06.546)
That's right.
Chris (55:07.805)
Mm-hmm.
Luciano (55:09.57)
A move that was so telegraphed it hurt.
Matt (55:13.312)
I'm also convinced that he had been in the room many more times when Jack and...is it Missy? Brenda? No, not Brenda. Marcy have had sex. I think he watched on many occasions, whether they knew or not, doesn't matter.
Luciano (55:19.733)
and Brenda. No, Marcy, Marcy.
Chris (55:22.683)
Marcy.
Spencer (55:27.698)
Well, how did his blood? How do you think that blood dripped from the top bed? There was a hole there. Two holes, three holes, three holes.
Chris (55:28.964)
It's gonna get here.
Matt (55:33.377)
Yeah, people. Normally it's his penis that sticks through it. Yeah.
Chris (55:34.594)
That's his fuckhole? That's his fuckhole.
Luciano (55:35.765)
Yeah, it was one hole. It was, yeah, it was the devil horn hole that was one. And then, yeah, okay. I mean, I see what you mean, Matt. He was pretty creepy. I still think though, like Mrs. Varhese has the baggage and the experience to be the bigger pervert, I think. Just this sheer time she had to hone her.
Chris (55:44.43)
and it's gonna get a piece of this section too.
Chris (55:58.268)
Mm-hmm.
Luciano (56:03.757)
pervenus I think wins, for me at least. Yeah, until they were done.
Spencer (56:05.342)
Like she waited beneath that bed for at least, what I would imagine was at least 30 to 40 seconds.
Chris (56:06.69)
But, true.
Mm-hmm.
Luciano (56:14.129)
Yeah, I was going to say 45 seconds. Yeah, max, maximum. Min and max. Yeah.
Matt (56:15.537)
Minimum, maximum. Yeah, 30 min, 40 max. Yeah.
Spencer (56:16.066)
Minima- Min and Maximum. Hehehehe. That was both.
Chris (56:16.614)
Minimum. I don't know. Jack and Marcy were getting it in. That felt way too long. The cameraman was enjoying, had that long shot, like he left and came back.
Matt (56:29.576)
Yeah, but you notice how Jack didn't actually move at all? That's because if he did, game over. Soon as he thrusts just a little bit, just a little thrust, just a little thrust, done. Game over.
Luciano (56:31.634)
Yeah.
Spencer (56:32.402)
Game, game, everyone knows that.
Spencer (56:37.534)
What are you crazy?
Luciano (56:38.305)
He wasn't really trusting as much as he was shimmying a lot. So that's why. He wanted to go the full 40 seconds. Otherwise Marcy would have been disappointed. Yeah.
Matt (56:47.34)
Mm-hmm.
Spencer (56:47.46)
and do and yeah she wanted she wanted to do her proud
Matt (56:53.224)
Yeah. Okay. Moving on.
Spencer (56:54.494)
So, all that's fine, I'm happy to.
Matt (56:58.548)
Yeah, we're good.
Luciano (56:59.684)
Hahahaha!
Chris (57:01.442)
Save me!
Matt (57:06.748)
Y'all watch the beginning of this movie? In the town, when Annie's rolling through this town, shows up to go to a camp and shows up to a town. I don't know how she- oh she took a bus, right? She had 20 miles to go to this fucking camp. Not important. The important part was, she walked by a store called Frank's Delicatessen. It was closed. It had been boarded up. And I want to know why that place got boarded up. What happened to shut down Frank's Delicatessen?
Luciano (57:09.617)
Yeah?
Luciano (57:30.854)
So... Funny story, Frank's delicatessen was originally called Frank's sex head glasses, taught by Mrs. Voorhees. I know, I pull the muscle, I pull the muscle.
Matt (57:37.845)
I hate this.
Spencer (57:38.022)
Just the biggest stretch you're gonna hurt yourself with that stretch. You'll pull something
Spencer (57:46.858)
Frank's Delicacy was actually very unpopular because they didn't serve meat. And it wasn't a deli.
Chris (57:48.302)
Really? You did?
Matt (57:57.568)
What did they sell?
Spencer (57:58.758)
It was a flower store. The whole thing was a mess.
Matt (58:01.332)
Okay. Any reason why Frank called it a delicatessen? Oh. So what was it called then? Mrs. Four, you sex ed gal ass we're just fucking circling back there.
Spencer (58:05.382)
It wasn't Frank. That's also false.
Luciano (58:09.661)
Hahaha
Chris (58:10.038)
Was it a front?
Luciano (58:15.469)
HAHAHAHA
Spencer (58:15.472)
No, it was called Frank Stella Gteson. Just, it was poorly named. It was a play on words.
Matt (58:21.3)
Okay. So it was, how was Delicatessen playing Words for a Flower Shop?
Spencer (58:26.418)
Cause it's actually Mark's flower shop.
Matt (58:29.76)
Okay, can you wrap this all together? If you're gonna go this far, you gotta fucking finish this.
Luciano (58:30.093)
So because it's because, it's because, no, it's because flowers are delicate and those are all delicatessen.
Chris (58:33.958)
What are you doing? Dig, dig back up.
Spencer (58:35.31)
No, because... No. That's better, but if you really... It's actually genius. It's actually genius because Frank's Delicatessen is an anagram of Mark's flower shop. Just gotta move along. Yes you do. Don't think about it. Don't overthink it! It is. Moving along.
Luciano (58:43.154)
Don't stop! It's not better!
Matt (58:48.839)
Okay.
Luciano (58:50.689)
No, it's not. It's just... There's no M's in that word.
Matt (58:57.017)
There's no M. Yeah, the first letter is not there.
Spencer (58:58.667)
It's a perfect anagram if you just... No, a couple letters you do have to flip upside down.
Chris (59:00.974)
I threw you the rope ladder so long ago you swatted it away.
Luciano (59:03.979)
So, so Frank's delicatessen is an anagram of Mark's flower shop if you don't know what an anagram is.
Spencer (59:10.078)
Yes.
Spencer (59:13.762)
Listen, I said don't overthink it. I distinctly remember myself saying don't overthink it. I remember. Chris, could you bring up the record? Did I?
Matt (59:14.717)
I'm gonna out.
Chris (59:16.681)
You said don't over it, don't make it.
Luciano (59:18.253)
Don't, don't, don't.
Chris (59:20.874)
I do remember you, I distinctly, yeah.
Suck the soul juice out of the soul hole. Oh yeah, what, yeah, no, please don't, get up and think, get up and think. Don't overthink it.
Spencer (59:27.654)
No, no, too far, too far. Fast forward a bit, fast forward a bit.
Luciano (59:29.039)
HAHAHAHA
Matt (59:29.452)
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Spencer (59:35.494)
Yeah, thank you. Perfect. Your honor, as you can tell from evidence A, you do not suck the soul. Nope. Damn it. Case dismissed.
Luciano (59:38.707)
Pfft!
Luciano (59:45.877)
Damn it!
Chris (59:50.58)
I've got something to say, your honor, my name is Mrs. Voorhees, and I've had enough of this!
Matt (59:55.596)
Bailiff, get that woman out of my court. This is the last time she breaks in here.
Spencer (59:56.138)
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Luciano (59:57.337)
Ha ha ha.
Chris (01:00:00.029)
Frank's delicatessen is an affront to this Christian community. I'm tired of seeing all this salami in the window.
Luciano (01:00:09.613)
The fuck was going on in that flower shop?
Spencer (01:00:10.864)
Too far, too far.
Matt (01:00:14.164)
Hey Chris, this was a great segue into a courtroom because it allows me to ask this question. If Mrs. Voorhees was tried for all the murders she committed, do you think they'd all stick? Like, where's the evidence to prove she killed all these people? She dead. Alice is crazy.
Spencer (01:00:25.959)
Alice Survived.
Alice probably did it all, she's the only one who survived.
Luciano (01:00:29.685)
Yeah. Alice... Yeah.
Chris (01:00:30.082)
They look at her, yeah.
Matt (01:00:32.02)
I was just like, hey, a little boy came out of the water and tried to murder me. That kid's been dead for like 20 years, 25 years.
Spencer (01:00:34.562)
Also, also everyone else is here is dead and I chopped off the ladies who I'm saying to awfully convenient story. Everything.
Matt (01:00:43.608)
My fingerprints are on the machete.
Luciano (01:00:46.625)
Well, let's get one out of the way. Ned, justifiable murder, she would do no time for that. Let's be honest. Yeah.
Chris (01:00:49.73)
Well, maybe.
Matt (01:00:51.596)
Mm-hmm. Yeah, innocent. That's a chance to get some time off for doing society a favor.
Spencer (01:00:51.955)
Yes.
Spencer (01:00:57.228)
Yeah, they pay for a free car wash as well.
Luciano (01:00:57.846)
Yeah, yeah.
Chris (01:01:04.29)
It's possible that it's possible Mrs. Voorhees did not plan to get caught because her fingerprints must have been on a lot of the murder weapons and accessories unless she cleaned them. So I don't think, well, actually, let me be careful here because I think she was fine making her bed and lying in it. Why? Because she's in the twilight of her, of the end of her military career.
She doesn't, she's not worried. She's not worried about getting caught. This is her once and for all.
Luciano (01:01:34.807)
I was gonna say...
Spencer (01:01:37.258)
She's got a pension.
Matt (01:01:38.54)
Fair.
Luciano (01:01:40.59)
She would show up in that courtroom with full military gala, all of the medals on display. You can't handle the truth! Yeah. Hahahaha!
Chris (01:01:46.266)
You can't handle the truth. That's right. They should have, they should have been watching my BoA, but you know what? Y'all ain't gonna forget this. I wrote this in my book. Don't suck unless you're ready to die. But if you wanna live, suck it. So I don't think any of this would have stuck, but.
Spencer (01:01:48.126)
Hehehehe
Matt (01:01:49.532)
You fucking predictable sons of bitches.
Spencer (01:02:03.168)
No, can't do it.
Chris (01:02:12.67)
It all depends on her motive. If she wanted to get caught, like the message she wanted to send. So if she wanted to have this complete, like if she wanted the notoriety and attention on the camp and going all the way back resurfacing, have she wanted to resurface the, the situation with her son, perhaps she did want to get caught. But would it stick? Maybe not.
Luciano (01:02:34.687)
I think you're giving Major Voorhees a lot of credit here. A lot of credit.
Chris (01:02:40.578)
Explain.
Matt (01:02:41.824)
Lieutenant Colonel Voorhees. Yeah, thank you.
Luciano (01:02:43.585)
Okay, I'll allow it. Was she dishonorably discharged? Is that what happened?
Chris (01:02:45.729)
LUTE!
Matt (01:02:50.185)
Oh, yeah, 100%. No, she's just, she's one of those killers that like you can't control. And so like, yeah, the general will come talk to her personally to do a specific mission.
Chris (01:02:50.498)
Will's nom.
Luciano (01:02:55.114)
I see. So in the time of war, it's good to have but then...
Chris (01:03:03.138)
Boy, he's the best I've ever seen.
Luciano (01:03:03.817)
Are you are you are you are you fucking John Rambo in this woman? Is that what you do?
Spencer (01:03:04.362)
Hahaha!
Matt (01:03:04.939)
Yeah.
Chris (01:03:07.202)
God dammit!
Matt (01:03:10.28)
I mean, you can join the Ramble and what's the what's the
Spencer (01:03:12.138)
I thought I was out and they keep bringing me back in! Hehehehe
Chris (01:03:15.95)
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Luciano (01:03:16.574)
Okay, that's the wrong Italian person.
Matt (01:03:18.762)
Is it raw deal with Arnold? Like, I don't know, whatever actions dark, yeah, Commando, that's the one, it's Commando, it's Predator, yeah, she's one of those types. Anyway, so I think that Ned, she gets off on it, definitely, no one cares that he died.
Spencer (01:03:22.474)
Commando, Predator.
Chris (01:03:22.67)
Hmm.
Luciano (01:03:24.261)
Commando, commando, yeah.
Spencer (01:03:26.494)
Both.
Luciano (01:03:33.078)
Oh yeah, yeah.
Matt (01:03:36.416)
Who could you get her for? Like if she's moving the bodies around, does fingerprinting exist in the 80s?
Chris (01:03:42.178)
Mm-hmm.
Luciano (01:03:45.296)
Yes, I think so.
Chris (01:03:45.874)
some extent I think so yeah all cuz she moved at least three different bodies she moved at least three
Matt (01:03:47.616)
So like her DNA is all up, man, that's tough to... I don't... Yeah.
Spencer (01:03:52.754)
But maybe she put them in a like, maybe she pinned him up to the wall to make it seem like she couldn't do it because she's so feeble. Like and the cops would think
Luciano (01:04:02.44)
Maybe she went full seven and shaved her fingerprints off.
Matt (01:04:07.024)
Okay, okay.
Spencer (01:04:07.954)
I mean that doesn't really help when you're the only sole survivor and you have no fingerprints. It's kind of suspicious.
Chris (01:04:09.041)
Mmm.
Luciano (01:04:13.953)
Yeah, it's not suspicious at all. It's completely not suspicious, yeah. I fell down the stairs. I fell down the stairs and shaved my fingerprints off.
Chris (01:04:14.483)
Mwahahahaha!
Matt (01:04:15.193)
That is suspicious. Yeah. Man, why are your finger friends gone? I don't know.
Chris (01:04:24.264)
See you soon.
Chris (01:04:28.174)
I don't think they would have been able to find her anyway. Like, if they linked it, if she survived, they wouldn't have been able to find her. She would have retreated to Jersey.
Luciano (01:04:33.155)
This is true, because that fucking place was in the middle of butt fuck nowhere too.
Matt (01:04:38.816)
So this is a follow up question then to that. Why or how did the cops even show up?
Chris (01:04:44.034)
That's a really fucking good question. Like why? Well, you could, you could, go ahead, go ahead.
Luciano (01:04:44.257)
That's a very good question, yeah.
Matt (01:04:48.628)
Well, because Steve was like, I'll get one of my counselors to drive me out to pick up his car. His little Jeep that broke down. So the cops would be like, all right, fine. See ya. We don't care.
Luciano (01:04:54.531)
Yeah.
Chris (01:04:56.336)
Mm-hmm.
Luciano (01:04:58.146)
Right.
Luciano (01:05:01.609)
Yeah, like they show up maybe a couple of days later when nobody came around a lot
Chris (01:05:07.402)
It's the same. It's linked to the same reason. Officer Dorff came by to ask them about Columbia gold and all that shit. No one prompted him. He just came out.
Matt (01:05:16.168)
No, he came up because Ralphie was coming and Ralphie's a crazy person. He was looking for Ralphie.
Luciano (01:05:18.857)
Yeah, he was looking for Ralphie. Well, yeah, we've established that this police force is incompetent that besides the point
Chris (01:05:19.662)
but they didn't find him!
Spencer (01:05:19.694)
Maybe, maybe Ralphie told him to come.
Chris (01:05:25.57)
which is a clock, a broken clock is right how many times a day?
Luciano (01:05:29.793)
That is true. Maybe they were just like doing some regular sweep. Yeah.
Chris (01:05:33.27)
Patrols? Hmm. Please swing back around.
Matt (01:05:36.7)
Okay, but going back to would Mrs. Voorhees be guilty of any of these things?
Chris (01:05:41.068)
Right.
Spencer (01:05:41.734)
If she was dead, like if it was this exact scenario, not if she survived, because she'd have to be alive to go on trial.
Luciano (01:05:41.738)
I don't think they would catch her.
Matt (01:05:46.738)
Yeah.
Matt (01:05:50.069)
Sure, that's fair.
Chris (01:05:50.21)
Can you put someone on trial if they're not present?
Spencer (01:05:52.966)
Like dead? Yeah.
Luciano (01:05:53.348)
Yes.
Matt (01:05:54.588)
Sure, in theory, yes. In theory, yes, but they probably wouldn't waste the time or effort, right? Because it would cost the state so much money for what they have on eyewitnesses that she did it all. And there's your answer.
Chris (01:05:55.498)
No, no, like if she survived.
Luciano (01:06:00.757)
Yeah, you'll catch her first. Yeah.
Spencer (01:06:05.802)
I just picture that scene and be like, we gotta find her and catch her. Well, you better bring a lot of body bags. Ha ha ha.
Chris (01:06:13.229)
Hmm
Luciano (01:06:13.464)
Hahaha!
Chris (01:06:15.822)
And then when like the US marshal pins her, like corners her at a waterfall and he's like, let me bring you in. Let me bring you in. I swear you'll have a fair trial. She's like, they should have been watching my boy. Let me tell you.
Spencer (01:06:20.189)
I didn't do it!
Luciano (01:06:27.509)
Yeah, yeah, and kill him. She would kill, she would kill the marshal with a camera. You killed the marshal with the camera, 100%. Yeah.
Spencer (01:06:28.458)
I don't care!
Matt (01:06:31.839)
Hahaha
Spencer (01:06:36.706)
I don't care!
Chris (01:06:39.278)
Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe
Luciano (01:06:39.529)
Oh, she went. She stayed too long in the south.
Spencer (01:06:43.026)
No, that's the Marshall, you fool! Have you even seen the Fugitive? Sorry.
Matt (01:06:43.124)
She really did. Well, the Marshall says it. Yeah. When she's like, they killed, they killed my boy.
Chris (01:06:43.479)
Hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Luciano (01:06:46.605)
Okay. Have you been, have you watched this podcast?
Chris (01:06:48.714)
Officer Jones.
Spencer (01:06:51.354)
I don't care! Yeah.
Matt (01:06:53.436)
Yeah, there you go. There's the whole movie. We just did it. Moving on, next question. That was an excellent segue. Where did Mrs. Voorhees get that Vorpal Machete that got turned against her?
Chris (01:06:53.975)
Good.
Luciano (01:07:03.917)
Ha!
Luciano (01:07:07.373)
Yeah, was that a fully magical weapon, you think?
Matt (01:07:07.38)
Cause I don't, Alice like, I assume so because Alice threw like a roll of toilet paper at her at one point. She like used all the lightest things possible to barricade the door. I just didn't think she had the strength of head shopping after that. Machete's been used a lot. So it's not exactly sharp.
Chris (01:07:25.762)
Hmm So she learned so when you when you when you live through nom Your your perspective changes a new pathways are forged. So after she left nom Nom didn't leave her. She went on a journey and she picked up That's right, mr
Luciano (01:07:25.806)
Yeah.
Spencer (01:07:41.458)
Started dab, dabbing in the dark.
Luciano (01:07:47.339)
Oh, I see, I see.
Chris (01:07:49.014)
Cause she lives out in a cabin, right? We didn't get to see all of that cabin. You know, in that room, one of them rooms, she's got potions and incantation scripts.
Spencer (01:07:56.726)
Number of hearts we have here, as far as I'm saying, they're so much gachi.
Matt (01:07:57.388)
Chris.
Matt (01:08:00.76)
Um, okay that got Italian. Chris, Chris I want to know if um, she, so she has one child. She mated. Um, no she mated I assume. I'm not trying to go too far with this.
Chris (01:08:02.094)
Tamagotchi? That makes sense. It's a name!
Spencer (01:08:02.238)
Tamagotchi, Pokemon, Digimon!
Luciano (01:08:12.069)
She made it. Yeah. No, the... Oh, I said she made the Vorpal machete herself. That's what I understood from Chris's diatribe.
Chris (01:08:15.246)
She made the child? Oh, oh.
Spencer (01:08:16.702)
I mean, also yes.
Matt (01:08:25.06)
No, we haven't gotten way past that. We're on to more important things right now.
Luciano (01:08:27.977)
hahahaha
Chris (01:08:31.374)
How did we get here?
Matt (01:08:32.144)
she created a child, which means she at least interacted with the devil's horn once. But I'm wondering how many other times she interacted with the devil's horn and if the soul juice made her go a little evil.
Chris (01:08:38.38)
Mmm.
Chris (01:08:42.88)
Mmm.
Luciano (01:08:45.305)
Cray cray, cray cray.
Chris (01:08:46.798)
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Spencer (01:08:47.241)
It will do it to anyone.
Chris (01:08:50.126)
If you don't, if you don't extract that soul juice before it, it plants, it's it, before it plants itself in the flower bed of a woman, of a woman's hood.
Matt (01:08:52.811)
Mm-hmm.
Luciano (01:09:00.285)
Oh no, stop, please, please stop. Yeah, please stop.
Matt (01:09:00.928)
Nothing like four dudes talking about womanhood. Don't really like what this is saying. This is going really well for us. Sure, yes she definitely did. You know, I'm just gonna move off this topic. She made the sword. Good answer. Thanks, Luciana.
Spencer (01:09:02.858)
Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe hehehe hehehe
Chris (01:09:06.206)
Listen, she wrote the book. We're just for saying.
Luciano (01:09:09.805)
Can we? Yeah, I was gonna say, may we strike this from the record? Please let's strike this from the record.
Spencer (01:09:15.736)
She made the sword and she chopped people. Did she chop anyone's head off with it?
Matt (01:09:19.284)
She, no, only her on it.
Luciano (01:09:21.067)
No.
Spencer (01:09:21.45)
So maybe Alice is the one with the magic.
Chris (01:09:23.144)
Hmm. Heh, heh, heh.
Luciano (01:09:23.733)
Yeah, maybe Alice has magic powers too.
Matt (01:09:24.936)
Maybe. Hey, we're done, we're moving on. I said we were done here. Don't fucking drag us back in. Chris is gonna go somewhere you don't wanna go. Hey, when this old lady shows up and tries to murder these people, like, okay, Kevin Bacon didn't know she was there. But a couple of these people were just full on attacked by her. Steve was like, oh, hey, it's you. How come he didn't just like give her a little push? Like she clearly fell over easily. Just give her a little push and run away.
Chris (01:09:26.367)
He's got the touch.
Spencer (01:09:26.422)
Oh, okay. Alright, that's fair.
Luciano (01:09:30.009)
Hahaha!
Spencer (01:09:32.135)
Hehehe
Chris (01:09:40.631)
No.
Right.
My good friend, Auntie Voorhees.
Spencer (01:09:48.553)
Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe
Luciano (01:09:49.817)
HAHAHAHA!
Chris (01:09:51.882)
And how do they not see the weapon in question, I guess?
Matt (01:09:57.204)
Yeah, because that machete, like it was almost as big as a sword on her. Like she had like a sheath for it.
Spencer (01:10:01.599)
Yeah.
Luciano (01:10:03.047)
She had a knife and a machete, but both of those are pretty visible.
Chris (01:10:05.694)
Yeah. You got to reveal that shit. And even if it's behind your back, you got to suspect somebody at some point.
Spencer (01:10:12.074)
Like if that were me, and if an old lady got too close in my space, I would just deck her with everything I have.
Luciano (01:10:20.463)
Hahaha!
Matt (01:10:21.708)
Spencer, I spent too much time with you to know that I really want to see you. I'm going to get an old lady go near you and see what happens.
Spencer (01:10:28.082)
Just I just I would just tell her I would say I would she'd get too close and I would just say Well first I'd deck her I'd deck her with everything I've got then I'd say back up back up You smell you smell old
Chris (01:10:34.966)
YOU'VE END YOUR TIME!
Chris (01:10:41.782)
Mind the business!
Luciano (01:10:42.977)
You, you smell...
Chris (01:10:44.694)
It's mind the business. That's it. Just mind the business.
Spencer (01:10:46.858)
said this is a bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass bass
Matt (01:10:48.12)
Stay away from my devil's horn. It's my devil's horn!
Luciano (01:10:50.341)
Hahaha!
Ain't nobody, ain't nobody stealing my soul juice from me.
Chris (01:10:53.454)
I'm gonna do that, kids!
Spencer (01:10:56.53)
So if, yeah, so if, I don't know why those people kept letting that older lady get so close. I.
Chris (01:10:58.603)
Yeah!
Chris (01:11:04.862)
Yeah, like distance. Distance is key, but like, wow.
Matt (01:11:08.36)
Yeah. Okay, fair enough.
Luciano (01:11:10.789)
She was fast though, did you see how fast she caught up to Annie when she was running away? In the forest? Yeah. She was just... Yeah. It's true, it's true. It's all the military training.
Chris (01:11:16.206)
In the beginning? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Matt (01:11:17.833)
Yeah, well.
Spencer (01:11:20.053)
That's all the training.
Chris (01:11:22.414)
She knew them woods.
Matt (01:11:22.528)
That's, yeah. Also, I'm not sure Annie can move correctly.
Chris (01:11:28.93)
Well, she, Annie, lipped. Annie, well, no, no. Put some respect on the poor kid. She jumped out of a moving, speeding vehicle. She wasn't gonna get anywhere on foot.
Luciano (01:11:30.252)
One more thing she didn't know how to do. Walk.
Luciano (01:11:39.026)
And she took a nice tumble, it wasn't even fast. No, no, she jumped out. She jumped out. She jumped out and then she fell very graciously on a... Oh yeah.
Matt (01:11:40.428)
She was shoved out.
Chris (01:11:42.37)
She wasn't, she jumped out, she jumped out.
Chris (01:11:47.694)
She even left her backpack behind.
Spencer (01:11:49.422)
I- in hindsight, knowing that the killer is an old woman, it would've been nice if all the kills were like designed in a way where an old woman could easily pull it off.
Luciano (01:11:59.349)
Yeah, but that will make too much sense, Spencer. You can't have that.
Chris (01:11:59.49)
Like, just pushing somebody down a cliff?
Matt (01:12:00.162)
You are using the Indiana Jones defense.
Spencer (01:12:03.218)
But the acts of the face one like she could do that and even the arrow through the back to the neck like that she could do that if the mattress is thin and it's like stealthy. So yeah it's that that's the real rest the real issue one I would say.
Matt (01:12:12.412)
It's the posting Steve or sorry, posting Bill on the door that's
Chris (01:12:14.994)
Yeah. She should have blown him up in the generator shack. That could have worked to set him on fire.
Luciano (01:12:15.018)
Yeah, yeah.
Luciano (01:12:22.421)
No, that would... ..blown him up. That would get all of his soul juice out.
Matt (01:12:25.397)
Electrocuted him.
Chris (01:12:28.118)
What?
Matt (01:12:30.712)
No, it's okay because it instantly burns up and you're safe.
Spencer (01:12:34.35)
Yeah, everyone knows.
Luciano (01:12:35.211)
Oh, I see. I see.
Chris (01:12:35.638)
Ohhhh Everyone knows Hmmmm
Spencer (01:12:37.714)
Devil's hatefire.
Matt (01:12:40.145)
Yeah. Ha ha.
Spencer (01:12:41.202)
Ha! Fabe's flutty!
Luciano (01:12:41.485)
Ha ha ha! Same as it, yeah. Ha ha ha!
Matt (01:12:44.912)
Next question. We're moving on.
Chris (01:12:45.398)
Mm.
Matt (01:12:50.484)
Our friend Ralphie, the hero of the story. I wanna know more about Ralphie. We're gonna make a movie. The movie's gonna be called Thursday the 12th, the Ralphie story. I wanna know what it's about.
Chris (01:12:52.382)
some respect. Put some respect on it.
Luciano (01:13:04.308)
Okay. It's about... It's about how... Go ahead, go ahead.
Spencer (01:13:06.938)
So, no, I just have a question. This must be a very stupid question, and I apologize. My brain is, I got bad brain. Did this movie take place on Friday the 13th? Did the, yes, but did the killings, did her son die on the Friday the 13th as well?
Matt (01:13:18.277)
Oh God.
Luciano (01:13:22.481)
Yeah. Did you watch this movie? Yeah. Yes. Yeah. And it shows Friday, June 13th in the beginning.
Chris (01:13:29.866)
It was his birthday. Looks like it.
Matt (01:13:32.127)
Yeah.
Spencer (01:13:32.578)
and his death day okay because you said thursday the twelve which thursday the twelfth what before sunday or the one
Matt (01:13:34.888)
Hey, Spencer, what the fuck does this have to do with you answering my question?
Chris (01:13:39.141)
Thanks.
Matt (01:13:41.405)
Yeah.
I don't know man, you've literally made up devil horns and soul juice. You can't fucking ad lib from Thursday the 12th. 1979, there you happy?
Chris (01:13:46.257)
Hahaha
Spencer (01:13:47.186)
What made up? That's science!
Luciano (01:13:48.825)
is.
Chris (01:13:50.294)
Wow, let them play!
Spencer (01:13:53.815)
we're talking what sign was it was it was it was it in Pisces okay thank you that's what I'm trying to figure out
Matt (01:14:00.456)
Mercury isn't retrograde. Alright? Yeah. Alright.
Chris (01:14:05.238)
Hey Matt, heard Spencer called you a doo-doo face. Hey Spencer, Matt called you a doo-doo face. No fight!
Spencer (01:14:11.199)
I will fucking kill him. Sorry, you go ahead, Lucille. I just wanted to clear that up for you so you can answer properly.
Luciano (01:14:18.554)
Hahaha!
Thank you. So the movie is about how Ralphie got crazy. Because it all happened on that one day right before Friday the 13th. And he was a perfectly normal person. He was a teacher at school. He taught sex at... No, I'm kidding. He taught... No, he taught geography.
Spencer (01:14:43.018)
No, no, don't bite. Don't bite. You continue.
Chris (01:14:43.374)
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Luciano (01:14:50.754)
and geography and bike riding that those are his two passions.
Chris (01:14:53.07)
A carto... a cartopographer you say?
Luciano (01:14:57.045)
No, I didn't say that at all.
Spencer (01:14:59.934)
A psycholographer. Psychoglifery.
Matt (01:15:02.304)
Focus.
Chris (01:15:03.406)
The console is a map maker, but go on.
Luciano (01:15:05.571)
And yeah, I think he so Steve Chris Christie, that his last name, the porn stash guy, Chris Christie, Chris Christie. It's this is in New Jersey. So I wouldn't be off. Young Chris, young blonde fit. Yes. So young spelled Chris Christie. I wanted to reopen.
Spencer (01:15:12.77)
Chris Christie? Yeah, a young Chris Christie
Chris (01:15:13.166)
I think so.
Matt (01:15:16.524)
Share.
Chris (01:15:16.826)
Steve.
Spencer (01:15:21.85)
very svelte very svelte at the time
Chris (01:15:24.439)
Bye.
Luciano (01:15:32.773)
the Camp, Camp Blood and, and Frank's The Catastrophe, both. He had to pick. Yeah. And then he contacted Ralph because he knows geography. I don't know how that works, but he does. And then, you know, he helps him all throughout Thursday the 12th. But he gets haunted by Jason. Not, not Mrs. Voorhees, but Jason.
Spencer (01:15:33.938)
I'm very silly. I can't blud.
Chris (01:15:33.986)
Delicatessen.
Chris (01:15:40.371)
stable of our community.
Luciano (01:16:02.217)
And then that's how he goes crazy. The end. I know. But like about as good as this movie. Let's be honest here.
Spencer (01:16:04.714)
That's terrible. I award you no points.
Spencer (01:16:11.624)
I'm-
Chris (01:16:12.782)
50 points from Slytherin.
Matt (01:16:12.996)
Wow. I didn't.
Spencer (01:16:14.762)
I think I'm thinking about this like the way like a studio would think about it like they're like we are we own this property We want to make you know a tie-in movie. It's called right. It's called. It's called Thursday the 12th it's a it's a prequel and it's gonna basically like you know show all the preemptive stuff that happens before this much like the
Luciano (01:16:22.181)
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Luciano (01:16:34.89)
Yeah, so it's.
Chris (01:16:36.539)
Like listen the title's gotta be more snappy. Okay, we call it t12. Okay, we call it t12
Spencer (01:16:41.008)
You're on Terminator 12? Okay, let me hear it. I love it.
Luciano (01:16:42.293)
It's... so I have a script for that, Mr. Producer. It's a musical and it stars Ralphie as Ralphie. Zendaya, yes, Zendaya, who would only be born like 20 years after.
Chris (01:16:44.831)
I said T12.
Spencer (01:16:53.998)
Zendaya, Zendaya as Ralphie? Okay, let's talk.
Chris (01:16:55.158)
I hate it. Keep going. Now I love it.
Chris (01:17:02.602)
I don't care. I like it. Keep it going. Keep it going. Yeah.
Spencer (01:17:03.673)
No, we're making this movie now about it's the prequel.
Luciano (01:17:06.613)
Oh now I see. So okay so Zendaya as Ralphie, Timothy Chalamet as Mrs. Voorhees. And Gilbert Gottfried as Chris Christie.
Chris (01:17:11.638)
Mm.
Chris (01:17:15.774)
hate it but love it at the same time keep going keep going cook
Spencer (01:17:18.609)
Hehehehehehe
Chris (01:17:24.334)
Ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Matt (01:17:25.197)
If this movie's being made now, it's AI.
Spencer (01:17:26.474)
Yeah, it's AI generated.
Luciano (01:17:27.529)
Yeah, his ghost, his ghost is they're gonna they're gonna moth-tarking him. It's fine
Chris (01:17:28.458)
We have CG.
Spencer (01:17:33.918)
that's gonna be like that it's gonna be like star wars or every little details to be over explained to the point where it's ridiculous it'll be like it'll start the young ralphie and this is for his uh... tom holland
Matt (01:17:33.932)
Okay, perfect, I'm here.
Chris (01:17:35.394)
Mm.
Luciano (01:17:39.393)
I'm sorry.
Chris (01:17:45.678)
played by who? who's playing young ralphy by the way?
Luciano (01:17:48.545)
Zendaya. Zendaya!
Spencer (01:17:50.598)
No, it's too, it's too, we're mixing it up. We're mixing it up. We're gonna make this for real. Tom Holland is young Ralphie. Zendaya is young Mrs. Voorhees. It's the same cast as Spider-Man. And it's gonna be like, and it's gonna be like, she's gonna be like, oh, this is my machete. It's been in my family for 40 years. It means everything to me. It had the blood of...
Chris (01:17:51.784)
Okay?
Chris (01:17:56.65)
Rewrites, rewrites.
Luciano (01:18:00.375)
Okay?
Luciano (01:18:04.653)
This is... Hahahaha! Yeah. No, uh... B-
Chris (01:18:04.905)
Mm-hmm. Cook, honey. Jake Gyllenhaal is who?
Luciano (01:18:18.293)
It's also, it's also magical.
Spencer (01:18:20.202)
Well, it's been imbued with the souls of thousands of Charlie and Nam.
Chris (01:18:24.654)
Charlie.
Luciano (01:18:29.661)
Every single every single person I killed in Vietnam is now is in this
Spencer (01:18:32.718)
And Ralphie, Ralphie and young Mrs. Voorhees are going to have like a relationship and he's going to be like, I'm worried about you. Miss four. What's her first name? Beverly. We're going to go with.
Chris (01:18:34.019)
That's right.
Chris (01:18:39.423)
Mm-hmm.
Luciano (01:18:42.693)
Yeah, there's no first name. There's no first name. But also, Ralfie's last name is Voorhees, and we discovered this in the prequel. No, they were. Yeah, the kissing cousins. Yes.
Chris (01:18:44.75)
Dolores.
Matt (01:18:47.212)
But I'll say it.
Spencer (01:18:52.25)
yet well it we give him cousins so it's so Ralph Ralphie and her are together and secretly that Jason is Ralphie's child he's the father of Jason and that's gonna be the reveal at the end of the movie this is the pitch
Chris (01:18:52.974)
So they were cousins?
Matt (01:18:56.68)
Hey, focus on this movie. Focus, focus on T12 only.
Chris (01:18:59.37)
We are, we are, believe it.
Chris (01:19:05.422)
We've given you so much.
Luciano (01:19:06.801)
Did 12.
Chris (01:19:13.582)
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Mmm.
Luciano (01:19:18.809)
So, so I guess they are cousins, like first cousins given his appearance. He all tracks.
Chris (01:19:21.718)
Mm.
Spencer (01:19:23.742)
Yeah, it all tracks.
Chris (01:19:24.722)
Or if we wanna clean it up, if we wanna clean it up, Mrs. Voorhees might be a Voorhees by marriage. She might have... Nevermind then. Lie in your filth. Fuck.
Matt (01:19:32.128)
Why do I want to clean this up? Yeah.
Spencer (01:19:33.034)
it's already perfect. So the story is Ralphie is like is in love with this woman but is torn because he sees her descending into madness due to having to tend to this and he sees there's an evil in young Jason that she can't see. It gets everywhere.
Chris (01:19:45.134)
Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Matt (01:19:46.132)
That gives her the soul juice.
Chris (01:19:48.256)
No.
Luciano (01:19:48.27)
Yeah.
Matt (01:19:50.041)
Soul juice poisoning.
Luciano (01:19:52.083)
Yeah, exactly.
Matt (01:19:56.608)
That's the soldier who's poisoning it, it gets everywhere.
Chris (01:19:57.184)
Okay.
Luciano (01:19:58.659)
Yeah.
Chris (01:20:00.009)
EVERYWHERE.
Luciano (01:20:01.25)
Hahaha!
Spencer (01:20:01.27)
So he asked, and you know what, at the end of the movie, he's actually the one who drowns Jason. It's actually a good prequel. I just, we could sell this. The Ralphie story. And that's why he's crazy, because he had to drown a child. That's the end. Brady, that plays as he's holding him, as he's holding him underwater, that's playing for the first time. Yeah.
Luciano (01:20:12.184)
I mean, that's T that's the that's the full name. That's the full name of the movie. T12 the Ralphie story.
Chris (01:20:17.947)
C12.
Luciano (01:20:25.508)
No, that's the sound he makes when he's drowning.
Matt (01:20:28.724)
Yeah, that's the sound Jason makes when he drones. Let's see how it's got it.
Spencer (01:20:29.79)
Wow.
Luciano (01:20:30.648)
Yeah.
Chris (01:20:30.734)
Now there's water!
Luciano (01:20:33.685)
Listen, you were, you said shoo she shush. You have no.
Spencer (01:20:36.562)
He's like, he's trying to breathe. Ch-ch-ch. He's like, ch-ch-ch-ch. Ah, ah, ah. Ha.
Chris (01:20:38.422)
That's not a...exercise.
Chris (01:20:43.182)
That's better. That's better. You cooked. You cooked.
Spencer (01:20:45.356)
Yeah.
Luciano (01:20:46.979)
Matt have been playing the sound forever.
Spencer (01:20:48.494)
Yeah. And then it's good. It'll go like, it'll start like this. Like he'll drown and then he'll be like coming out of the water. But he'll go, he'll go, and then it'll slow down. It'll gradually get slower and slower. Yeah. And then it all ties in. And then, and the last, and the last line of the movie is, you know, another day tomorrow. What's the date tomorrow? It's Friday.
Chris (01:20:57.282)
Just like hold the door. And then it gets, it phases into what we now know as the thing. Mm-hmm. Yep.
Luciano (01:21:08.313)
Hahaha!
Chris (01:21:10.018)
He's not wrong.
Luciano (01:21:16.23)
Yeah, I bet. I bet. Yeah. No, no, I don't say I bet tomorrow is going to be a great Friday the 13th.
Spencer (01:21:18.078)
Friday the 13th.
Spencer (01:21:26.034)
Play the music. And then surprise comes in. And scene. Perfect.
Chris (01:21:27.086)
We could workshop that.
Luciano (01:21:29.061)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Chris (01:21:32.882)
I'm sorry.
Matt (01:21:36.928)
Moving on, we need to give our review on this movie. Ha ha, it's fine.
Luciano (01:21:37.669)
I think we have it.
Spencer (01:21:39.762)
Hold on, I'm getting a phone call. Yes, hello? WB, who owns this? Property.
Chris (01:21:44.32)
We got money
not oh new alliance or is it
Matt (01:21:48.284)
Oh god, this has been passed around. Fair round, haven't it? New line?
Luciano (01:21:48.557)
Paramount, paramount, it's paramount.
Spencer (01:21:51.482)
All companies, yes. All film businesses. Yeah, oh, you heard about our sequel, prequel sequel. It's a soft reboot.
Chris (01:21:54.242)
Hmm. We have money for you. We have money. Yeah, we were listening. Yeah, we were listening. Mm-hmm. Oh, no, okay
Spencer (01:22:03.346)
It's a prequel, but we can continue with the actors. Moving forward. And reboot yet and will reboot. We're thinking we're thinking eight films.
Chris (01:22:07.545)
Mm-hmm.
Matt (01:22:10.127)
to three picture deal.
Chris (01:22:10.239)
Okay.
Chris (01:22:15.203)
Oh, that sounds expensive.
Spencer (01:22:15.966)
We're gonna call the eighth one Fast 8. We're gonna tie it into the Fast for yours. It's gonna be a crossover.
Chris (01:22:20.726)
Oh my. Okay.
Luciano (01:22:24.602)
The fast and the eight.
Chris (01:22:26.114)
So you got Vin Diesel.
Spencer (01:22:26.558)
It's a shared universe. We're calling it the 13th universe.
Chris (01:22:32.816)
T13? F13? TF13.
Spencer (01:22:34.11)
all of it.
The fast and the drowned. Yeah.
Luciano (01:22:37.825)
Hey, hey, hey Matt, can you save us please?
Chris (01:22:41.058)
The fast and the submerged.
Matt (01:22:42.356)
I'm powerless to this machinations.
Spencer (01:22:42.394)
No. Oh, okay. Uh huh. Yeah. Okay. All right.
Luciano (01:22:43.179)
Apparently not, yeah.
Luciano (01:22:50.157)
Yeah. Spencer is giving us a thumbs up. Like that matters in the podcast.
Chris (01:22:51.438)
Uh huh. Was that a slider phone, Spencer?
Spencer (01:22:55.053)
Yeah, so they just said that they can offer me 15% off my car insurance.
Luciano (01:23:02.922)
Was that a call from Geico?
Spencer (01:23:05.undefined)
Actually 50% or more is what they said. And that one worked!
Chris (01:23:06.222)
That was the studio!
Matt (01:23:09.28)
You know what, some bits work and some bits don't. That one failed. So we're going to move on to my thing again. Reviewing this movie, we use a very sophisticated ranking system. We are just S-tiering this stuff. S is the highest, no lower than F, even if it's Morbius. And give us your thoughts. Let's start with Luciano this time.
Chris (01:23:09.719)
What was the-
Luciano (01:23:11.613)
Yeah, yeah.
Luciano (01:23:29.891)
Hahaha
Luciano (01:23:34.545)
Okay, so this is garbage, but I realized something that I was thinking about as I was watching this is, you know, a lot of the things that are super played out and super like cliche and, and like just, just not entertaining anymore. This movie came up with a lot of them. So I am going to give my rating with that in mind. If I was, if this was a movie that came out today or like
know, didn't have the fact that it set up the genre, this would be a NAF at the level of Morbius of Nowhere's. But because it's a staple and iconic and yeah, so acting is terrible. The plot is non-existent. The beats that it came up with are iconic now and I respect that. So I'm going to give this
Chris (01:24:14.178)
You're putting respect on it.
Luciano (01:24:29.673)
my first my rating if this was a comedy if this was a comedy would be a b but since it's not since it's supposed to be a horror movie i'm giving this an e because i would i was okay not having watched it before and i will never watch it again and it's not entertaining enough it's not scary enough it's not funny enough
Chris (01:24:35.47)
Mm-hmm.
Matt (01:24:47.744)
Sorry, you gave it an E, knowing that it's a classic horror film? That's how, what was the whole spiel about? You just.
Spencer (01:24:51.994)
Yeah, I was gonna say, I thought I was gonna get up to like a C.
Luciano (01:24:52.381)
Yes, otherwise it would have been an F. No, no, no. You have to remember I don't like horror movies either, so that doesn't help. Yes, that's the respect I'm putting into it. Hey, it's actually like 20% from an F to an E. But anyway, yeah. Yeah.
Spencer (01:24:59.454)
They brought it up from an F to an E being a classic.
Matt (01:25:03.983)
barely.
Spencer (01:25:04.99)
Being one of the most influential in films of all time, I give it a 2% out of 100 instead of one.
Matt (01:25:18.148)
Moving on. Chris, your turn. What do you got?
Chris (01:25:21.218)
This movie, this movie was, hmm. It's interesting having watched this movie again. Like I thought I remembered things accurately. And so it was fun yelling at the screen. It was fun. Not out of anger, but just like it was a little bit. Yeah, it's like put up a fight bitch. Like, oh, there you go. Okay, now, okay. Now keep swinging, keep swinging. No.
Luciano (01:25:37.333)
Hahaha!
Luciano (01:25:41.504)
Yeah, yeah. Get out of there! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ha ha ha.
Spencer (01:25:46.826)
She's 80 fucking years old, just push her! If you can't beat her, you deserve to die!
Chris (01:25:50.53)
That's right! That's right! Pat her down for the car keys! You know the car is running! So... She had her time, she lived her life. So it was fun rooting for the last survivor. It was interesting seeing how each person... How the foreshadowing completely boomeranged in a different direction, which is not how boomerangs work.
Matt (01:25:50.961)
She's in the twilight of her life!
Luciano (01:25:54.798)
Her military career is over!
Chris (01:26:19.522)
This was a bit entertaining, you know? It's, it's, it's
Spencer (01:26:28.536)
Those are called arrows.
Luciano (01:26:32.149)
Weirdly enough.
Spencer (01:26:34.328)
Chris, let me ask you something, because you notoriously are afraid of everything. Did this movie scare you?
Chris (01:26:41.709)
Yes.
Not this time. It was just waiting for the jump scares. And so, you know.
Spencer (01:26:47.05)
So that says a lot. That says a lot that even Chris isn't scared of it. He was scared, he got scared in Haunted Mansion when he watched last week. Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe
Luciano (01:26:48.345)
That word none.
Yeah, if you're too scared Chris, that's true.
Chris (01:26:55.04)
I WASN'T
Luciano (01:26:58.652)
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Chris (01:26:58.806)
Yeah, I did. I did. It was scary. The colors were vivid for me. I had a nightmare. It happened. So the this movie did not. Don't you laugh at my pain, you son of a bitch. This movie rating is for me.
Matt (01:27:02.256)
It was not. It was definitely not scary.
Chris (01:27:19.062)
It's a D. It's a D. It's worth watching once, at least. Which is... Yeah. You don't need to. Don't, just live your life. It's not about me. It's about Spencer. Soldiers.
Matt (01:27:22.316)
Cool.
Luciano (01:27:22.917)
This is the most dramatic day of all time.
Matt (01:27:25.872)
Okay, I don't understand your rating system and I'm not going to try to figure it out now. Spencer, no, we're past you. Spencer.
Spencer (01:27:31.593)
Um...
Spencer (01:27:35.01)
Yes, this movie, I would say like Luciano watching it now it doesn't it's not very it's pretty by the book but at the time you know like in hindsight you want to respect the movies that create those tropes but that movie was Halloween so I don't give it that respect to this movie because this one copied that one if this was the first to do it I would give it more respect
Luciano (01:27:56.523)
Hahaha!
Spencer (01:28:05.442)
Even now I thought the kills were pretty cool. And that's a lot of the kills in old horror movies kind of suck. So I will say probably at the time the kills in this movie were probably like, people were probably blown away. So having said that movies boring shit and the story is literally just like even for a horror movie, it was like just fucking nothing. And the big twist is it's the killer's character you've never seen before is just so lazy.
Luciano (01:28:33.561)
Ha ha ha!
Spencer (01:28:35.186)
but it created this is the bubble. I'll create a Jason. Well, good, good for you. Having said that, I give this movie a.
I hate to do it, but I'm giving it an E as well. Because I f-f-fucking was bored. You don't be bored in a horror movie. You don't be bored in any movie. This movie f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f
Matt (01:28:59.436)
Cool. I also watched this movie. I feel like I watched it in a different frame of mind than the rest of you who all hated it. It wasn't the worst. It moved quickly. They didn't waste any time. The kills were cool. It was very interesting to see Kevin Bacon get murdered so quickly with an arrow. I thought that was a really cool kill, especially for the 80s. And then the last third of the movie was just right down front. I don't know why it took them that long to figure it out. The final fight scene was boring.
Luciano (01:29:00.781)
Hahaha
Spencer (01:29:17.416)
Yeah.
Chris (01:29:18.806)
Hmm.
Matt (01:29:27.392)
But overall I give it a C out of good time. It was quick, good kills, not a lot of talking, not a lot of anything, which honestly, not the worst in a movie after watching the shit like The Haunted Mansion we watched. So I am gonna give this a C for, yeah, you know what? You did exactly what you wanted to deliver, nothing more.
Chris (01:29:30.222)
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Chris (01:29:43.842)
a CD in two minutes.
Spencer (01:29:46.026)
Cool.
Luciano (01:29:47.84)
All right. Your first, your first C actually.
Chris (01:29:48.322)
It was a KD.
Matt (01:29:49.696)
That is the end of, well I'm just trying to hit all the letters really. That's the end of the Jackathon. We have jacked so hard for five movies for you. Chris, we're all in a soul juice for this Halloween edition. We're going to go back into regular facts movies, not specifically focusing on thriller. And our first movie is a doozy. We are going to...
Luciano (01:29:54.439)
Hahaha!
Luciano (01:29:59.897)
We're all out of sojuice. Ha ha ha.
Chris (01:30:01.371)
Soul juice has left our body.
Matt (01:30:18.74)
Watch and talk about Barbie.
Spencer (01:30:20.654)
Oh boy. It's the one you've been waiting for.
Luciano (01:30:21.646)
Where, where in the spectrum of facts it falls?
Spencer (01:30:25.178)
I would say it is a fantasy mixed with a little bit of comic, meaning comic in the comedy sense. Because comic can have double meaning. So the comic in fact stands for comic like superheroes, but also comic films, comedic films, covers both.
Chris (01:30:30.51)
Oh yeah.
Matt (01:30:30.964)
fantasy. Yeah.
Luciano (01:30:38.418)
Hahaha!
Matt (01:30:49.46)
Um, yeah, but fantasy or sci-fi, one of the two, if Barbie's a real life character. I don't know what Spencer is talking about. I would, I would say fantasy too. It's an action, uh, action figure come to life.
Luciano (01:30:53.042)
Fair enough.
Spencer (01:30:53.467)
I would say it leads more to fantasy.
Luciano (01:30:58.038)
Alright.
Chris (01:31:01.326)
Barbie has had comic books produced.
Matt (01:31:03.936)
There you go, we're covered.
Spencer (01:31:04.318)
boom that's what Spencer is talking about and watch it maybe it's sci-fi
Luciano (01:31:06.358)
Nice.
Matt (01:31:07.7)
Maybe it's a thriller, we don't know.
We haven't watched it yet. We will tell you next week after we cover... It's just Barbie, right? There's no like T12, the Barbie story.
Luciano (01:31:17.065)
Yeah, Barbie. Yeah. The Ken, the Ken story.
Chris (01:31:20.887)
There might be... I'm looking so much forward to this.
Matt (01:31:23.441)
Yeah, yeah, that's fair.
Spencer (01:31:23.761)
It's good in the future. They'll be like in the Barbie a Barbie story a Barbie universe. Yeah
Matt (01:31:28.489)
The Barbie Universe. Yeah. All right, so that's, yeah. Join us next week for Barbie.
Chris (01:31:36.898)
WIT!