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What if you could get more of what you want in life? But not through pushing, forcing, or pressure.
You can.
When it comes to money, time, and energy, no one’s gonna turn away more.
And Kate Northrup, Bestselling Author of Money: A Love Story and Do Less and host of Plenty, is here to help you expand your capacity to receive all of the best.
As a Money Empowerment OG who’s been at it for nearly 2 decades, Kate’s the abundance-oriented best friend you may not even know you’ve always needed.
Pull up a chair every week with top thought leaders, luminaries, and adventurers to learn how to have more abundance with ease.
Hi, welcome back to plenty today. I have an incredible delicious guest for you. Her name is Dana Myers and she is an award winning entrepreneur who has a company called booty parlor that exists to help women to feel confident and sexy in their own skin in their own way. She's also an author. She is runs her company with her husband, Dana Charli, she's been featured everywhere from Good Morning America, The Wall Street Journal, Parents, etc.
[00:00:35] kate: She is brilliant, she is funny, she is sexy, and we talk about today Sex in long term relationships, how to teach our daughters to be sensual, expressed beings while also being safe. We also talk about running a business with your husband and what are some of the best tips. We talk about sex, we talk about spells, we talk about magic, we talk about vulvas.
We go so many places. You're going to love this episode. Enjoy. Welcome to Plenty. I'm your host, Kate Northrup, and together we are going on a journey to help you have an incredible relationship with money, time, and energy, and to have abundance on every Every week, we're going to dive in with experts and insights to help you unlock a life of plenty.
Let's go fill our cups. Okay, so Dana, welcome. I'm so happy you're
[00:01:38] Dana: here. I'm thrilled to be here. You're so gorgeous.
[00:01:41] kate: I love you so much. Okay, so I want to start off with, I don't know if you remember this, but I was super pregnant with Ruby, and I invited you in. to be an expert in my membership. Yes. To talk about sensuality and sexuality as women in long term relationships.
Yes. And you told me all sorts of things that at the time, I just was like, Who is this woman? Where did she come from? We're from different planets. We are. And that's... Well, we were. Not gonna work for me. But I wanna update you, and I'm so excited to have this updated conversation today. And for anyone who listened to that one, Way back.
Yeah, I've changed and Luckily, you've been around the whole time to hold this light of what's possible.
[00:02:28] Dana: I have seen your change I've noticed your change and I love it It's well, it's just noticeable in the way we talk about sex and the way we talk about relationships It's been really really beautiful organic thing to witness in you.
[00:02:43] kate: So you've been A way shower for me in terms of what is possible as a grown ass woman. Yeah in sensuality and sexuality You also have two kids. You also are married for how many years?
[00:02:57] Dana: Almost oh god almost 19 Almost 19 and together how many years almost 21 Wow.
[00:03:03] kate: I know. Oh, I just, like, hit my reflex.
[00:03:07] Dana: Well, It deserves a kick. It deserves a kick. Okay,
[00:03:12] kate: and you run your company with your husband, which for some people really can throw water on the fire. Yeah. And so we have a lot to talk about today. But my first question is, did you have... a wayshower or multiple wayshowers for you to show you and to, to model that it is possible to be a mom, be a homeowner, be a business owner, be a wife, and Maintain and amplify your sexuality all at the same time.
Yes. And
[00:03:45] Dana: who were they? My mother. First and foremost. Babs, Barbara. God bless Babs. God bless her. She is such a beautiful woman. Thank you. Just like you. Thank you so much. She's a beautiful woman who really did model for me what activating and working with your sensuality and your inner and outer beauty.
Could mean for a woman. And it's interesting because she kind of made her way through the world with this vivacious sensuality and natural flirtatiousness. And I watched how people and she wasn't using it in a manipulative way. She was really just feeling herself. And I watched how people related to her.
And I also watched how she and my dad really prioritized their sex life. And as a kid I would roll my eyes and I would like, you know, wash my eyeballs out. But she was like, we're, we're going in our room and we're locking the door. How
[00:04:44] kate: old were you at that time? I mean, I was in,
[00:04:46] Dana: so I was in my first house.
So I moved out of that house when I was 10. And I remember it, I guess, since I can remember things. So early, 6, 7, I always knew that they were making time for themselves in their bedroom and the door was locked and that was their time. And then as I, Age, she would verbalize it, which really made me want to gag, but also Like, like what would she say?
Oh God, she would say, Mom, she'd be like, we're going to fool around. Fool around? Fool around. Amazing. That was how she talked about it. But she would say, you know, it's really important for us. Yeah. And what was interesting about them is that their emotional relationship was actually quite But their physical relationship was very grounded and passionate.
And I think that passion is really what kept them going. I always say, like, the first 30 years of their relationship were the hardest, and, like, the last 24 have been the best. But their sexuality and their sexual connection... Your parents are still married. Yes. was really the thread that I saw really carry them through all the hard times.
So for me, it was always like, okay, this is a really important part. Just witnessing that. But she was very, very verbal with me, and my dad was too. I mean, I remember my dad said to me, I was about 13, and I was like, they knew I was starting to explore my curiosities. And my mom was very open and vocal, she was always like, Did you know that touching yourself could be just as pleasurable as having sex with someone else?
And I was like Like, starting pretty early? I was 13 when she said that to me. Oh, 13 And I was like, yeah, I know mom. But it really just affirmed what I was already doing. I was already exploring pleasure for myself. But my dad pulled me aside and he was like, I acknowledge you as a sexual being. How old were you?
I, I had to be 13 or 14. That's incredible. And I think because they saw that I was like, aggressively pursuing my curiosity. Yeah. Which is true. I felt an incredible sexual energy. This is who you were born
[00:06:47] kate: to be. You are clearly living
[00:06:49] Dana: your dharma. Totally. Totally. This is the current life. And I just remember being like, cool.
I am acknowledged. I have permission. Yes. And there's no shame around this. And all of that conversation was also fortified with conversations around values and safety and boundaries. Many of which I just blew through and had to learn the hard way. But, when I did have quote unquote bad experiences that my mom felt I wouldn't listen or or open up to her about, she found me a great therapist.
And that therapist was able, we were able to just talk through any shame, so I never got stuck in shame. Which I think shame is such a big thing for so many women. It's the thing. It's the thing. Because,
[00:07:39] kate: okay, probably. It is, I, I mean, there's, there's all kinds of new information that we have around our wiring and like, I, I do think some people are actually asexual.
But many of us are actually very sexual beings. Yep. Because life itself comes from a sexual act. Totally. In humans and in all species. That's it. And so that's where we came from, like, life force is inherently sexual. Totally. Or, or we'll just say erotic, knowing that like, Yes. Eros is the, is the spark of life force.
Yes. Okay, so you have a daughter.
[00:08:17] Dana: Yes,
[00:08:18] kate: and, Yes, I do. I'm so curious. about what you learned growing up, what was modeled to you, and what you are consciously passing on to her, and what maybe you're doing differently or the same as what you were given. Oh God, yeah. In modeling and explanation and
[00:08:39] Dana: Yes, so she's 10.
So she's just turned 10, and I can feel her, her cycle, you know, on the horizon. I got my cycle at 10. And I can just see it percolating in her moods, in the swings, in the way her body is forming and evolving and shaping. And so A, I talk about pleasure a lot in the house. Of all things. Pleasure in food, pleasure in nature pleasure in ritual and ceremony.
So that pleasure in the bedroom is not like some kind of foreign thing that comes out of left field.
[00:09:12] kate: Right. I am. I am. So that. But the word pleasure is not only associated with sex. Totally.
[00:09:18] Dana: Totally. Yeah. Also, you know, my kids know what our business is. And so we talk about it a lot. You know, we help women feel good.
We help women feel confident. And now that they're a little bit older, I do say we help women feel sexy in their own unique way. Yeah. And I just then sort of hang back and listen to what the kids have to say about it. It's very interesting because, you know, half tops are all the rage with 10 year olds and I don't mind her sharing her skin, but of course I want to protect her and I want her to know about safety and I want her to know that not everyone's intentions are good, so how do you share that with a child without scaring them?
[00:10:00] kate: I don't know, that's why I'm asking. I
[00:10:01] Dana: am. No, I'm constantly figuring it out. I'm constantly figuring it
[00:10:05] kate: out. I'm so glad I have women like you to go first. And
[00:10:08] Dana: so... Oh my god, for dear life. And so... And I never want to comment on her body. Never. I never want to comment on her body. I only want to shower her with, you know...
Praise and inspiration to feel good about herself. So, when, when her half top is like a full, a full exposure, I just say, hey, let's close the gap a little bit. You know, show yourself, but not all of yourself. Well why? And I said, because I actually don't want other people looking at you in ways that they shouldn't.
And that's where it's at right now.
[00:10:43] kate: Okay, does she ask more questions
[00:10:44] Dana: about that? No, she holds it there. Okay. But we do have a lot of conversations about self defense. Yeah. And we practice. Okay. Like, we practice how to speak up when we feel uncomfortable. We practice how to use our physicality if we ever feel uncomfortable.
Right. And so I feel like I don't have all the answers, but I do have a lot of pieces in the puzzle that I just sort of plant when I can. I
[00:11:05] kate: love this so much. So, I did not have sexuality and sensuality modeled to me. anywhere near like you did. But one thing my mom did so well is that she really instilled in us that like, if you feel like something is off in any part of your life Yes.
It is off. And you can trust yourself. Totally. And my parents would both tell me anything, anytime, anywhere you call us, no questions asked Yes. We will come get you. Totally. And like, you will not be in trouble. Totally. And so that was like that one thing of like trust your instincts. Yes. Has really guided me in so many situations where I could have gotten myself into a gnarly scenario and didn't, or I was in a scenario where I was able to exit.
And so not to say that that's ever somebody's fault, that they're in a situation. Of course not. But we can use our internal guidance to give us a flag
[00:12:04] Dana: earlier. Totally. And so many of us get in those situations, but we just don't have the tools to navigate them.
[00:12:09] kate: Totally. And so to, yeah, so, so like give me an example of how you are teaching her or practicing with her using her voice and speaking up.
Oh my god.
[00:12:20] Dana: Okay. Around something. So a really, a really funny one that we do is Oh God, which, which I got into a situation in Santa Monica this summer where I actually had to show her how it looked in real time. Okay. But I always teach her if anyone is coming up to her that she doesn't know or that she feels threatened by, you put your hand out and you scream, stay back.
Love it. And we practice that a lot. And we practice it in a really big, bold way. I'm not going to do it because I'm so close to the mic. But we can imagine. But it is very powerful. And I've seen her use it. And it makes me feel really confident that she will be able to use it. So we practice Stay Back a lot.
Okay. And then, This is great. It is. It is. It's a good one. And and then we also just, you know, All the stuff that I think is already out there in information for moms, which is like, if you don't want to be tickled, you say, I don't want to be tickled, and then that other person needs to listen. So we've always done that in the house.
We've always done that. Consent, always. Consent, always. But I also, you know, I encourage her natural feelings of flirtation. And I encourage her natural, she's got like a, a real sway. And I never try to shut that down. I just compliment it. I just compliment it. I love the way you walk confidently, you know, I love the way you move.
It looks like you're really in your body. It looks like you're really feeling yourself. You know, and I'm excited by that. Yeah, I am. I'm excited by that. And you know what? Maybe I will regret this, but I am excited for her to explore herself sexually when the time is right. I don't think you're going to regret that.
I am really excited for that. You know, I always tell her just like you said, you know, you can come to me with anything. I'm here no matter what. You'll never get in trouble. And and we just talked through it.
[00:14:03] kate: So, when you were growing up, did you go to your mom and your dad and ask them questions about sex?
And share with them what you were experiencing to some degree? Like, did it feel like that was an open conversation? Because I do know people who actually did, like, in a pretty graphic way. Have those conversations, and I'm just curious what your experience
[00:14:23] Dana: was. So I didn't, but as I got into college, there were always older women in my life.
I always sort of was able to find these mentors, you know, women who were like 5, 10 years older than me. Lorraine, Amber, Mika, you know, I had a lot of great women who I would ask those questions to. And and I had a lot of great... Teachers in the Lovers that I was with. And I'm so grateful to the men that I was with who I was able to talk to as we were exploring different things and who were gentle and open, you know, to give me that space.
Not all the men I was with were like that. Sure. But I had some really great teachers in that, in that aspect.
[00:15:11] kate: Yeah. It only takes a few. Yeah. It only takes a few. Okay. So how old were you when you met your husband? Okay. I... Maybe that's a hard question.
[00:15:23] Dana: Well, I'm about to be 48. Okay. And I was 26 when I met him.
You were 26. Okay. I did a love spell. Really? And I did a very... Tell me more. I was given a love spell from my dear friend Elisa in New York. She was making me a dress for my brother's wedding. And she sort of wraps you in fabric and cuts it on your body and sews it together with fishing wire on your body.
And she said, I'm gonna give you a spell. And you're gonna wear this dress and you're gonna meet your man. And I was like, I didn't know I was ready to meet my man. I'm like, I'm having fun. And she was like, no, no, no. No, this is, this is your time. I can feel it. And so I thought, okay, cool. I'm gonna do this spell.
I'm gonna get online. I'm gonna start dating. And... Maybe it'll take a few years. So, the spell took 11 days after the spell. 11 days. So, she said, you're going to take two weeks and really write down all the things that you desire in this great love of your life. And, you know, don't be superficial. You don't care about a this or a that.
But go really deep. And so I spent a lot of time every day working on this list and it was things like My brother would immediately like him. Like, they would immediately like each other. Like, to have this like family vibe. I wrote down that I wanted him to just get me. I always felt like men never fully got me.
Or never fully accepted or loved the whole of me. So that was how I expressed that. I wanted him to really get me. I wanted to have a life of international adventure. I wrote that down. And and then you put the dress on and you dance to raise your energy. And she had like infused the dress with different oils and what not.
So it was very sensorial. And you rub your body with oil. And then you give yourself pleasure. And so you masturbate. And then as you orgasm, you cast your orgasm out into the universe as if it were like a lasso, a golden lasso. And I cast it out and I like, imagine lassoing this love. And then I pulled him down into, into me in this moment of great, you know, peak pleasure.
And then you take the list that you wrote and you press it up against your body to sort of seal it with your love juice. And and then you fold it up and put it away. And I met him 11 days later. So it was a very powerful love spell.
[00:17:37] kate: If you're looking for your person. Do this spell. Just rewind. Do the spell.
Write that down. Yeah. And do this spell. But you have to
[00:17:45] Dana: couple it with the practical act of dating. Or putting yourself out there. Certainly
[00:17:50] kate: you do have to
[00:17:51] Dana: leave your house. Yeah, you have to leave your house. And you have to like, you know, maybe you don't want to be on the apps. But maybe you commit to smiling at five strangers in the day.
You know, and holding. Which will feel good.
[00:18:01] kate: Regardless.
[00:18:01] Dana: It's gonna feel so good. Yeah.
[00:18:03] kate: Yeah. When I do that, I'm just like, humans are amazing. I
[00:18:07] Dana: know. Humans are amazing. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:18:09] kate: Okay, this, that's so incredible. So you've been a witch for a long time. Obviously, you were born one. Yes. Clearly not a
[00:18:16] Dana: muggle. Not a muggle.
Oh my god. But
[00:18:19] kate: at what point did your active Spells. Like, because this was, like, it's sort of newer, isn't it? That you've been working with a mentor in this area of your life and right? Is that true? Well. No.
[00:18:36] Dana: It is. Tell me your witch story. Yes, I have several witchy mentors. So it's very interesting.
I received a magic wand from my best friend's mother when I was 10. Because I was always magical and I always believed in fairies and but this wand, I still have it in my life. And it was just this moment. It's been with me through every place I've lived. And it was like a marker. I knew that magic was a part of my life at 10.
I knew that I could connect with different people. spirits, there were spirits in this 90 year old house that I lived in. So I was always like tuned in and tapped in and exploring my own way. But I, I, I really rejected the word witch, which is a very common thing. It's the witch word. A hundred percent.
I really rejected it and I didn't know why. Many
[00:19:17] kate: people listening when I said that, they were like, where?
[00:19:20] Dana: Recoil. Totally, totally. Throw it out if you don't like it. No, no, yeah, witchcraft still has like a bit of a, you know, stigma attached to it. And even for me, I rejected the word witch, even though I was doing rituals and spells and And then about four years ago, I was doing this, This past life regression meditation and I discovered myself, I love that we're just going here girl.
Always. I discovered, I've never told this story publicly, I discovered myself in this vision like very hunched over and, and, Escaping. Escaping something. Like, running away from something. And then I was under this big old tree, and I looked down and I had on like, traditional witchy shoes. Like a heel and a pointed toe.
And I realized that I was being hunted. I was a witch and I was being hunted. And then... This other self of me, like this golden goddess, like Wonder Woman self, came in and rescued me and like took me into this next whatever part of my life. And I woke up from that meditation and I was like, Oh. I get it, I always rejected the word witch because I was hunted in this past life or parallel life or whatever, however you look at it.
And then from that day on, it was just sort of game on. And I came across an amazing witch named Madame Pamita who has a great book about candle magic and I started learning more about candle magic and building altars and it really became this incredible source of creativity for me. I have studied with a.
a young witch, a younger witch named Mia Magic, who's amazing. Amanda Yates. Oh, yeah. I follow her on Instagram. She's fun. She's really fun. I love her. She does great meditations, if you're, if you're into that. And then Amanda Yates Garcia, who is a really amazing teacher in my life. And she's taught me a lot about.
It's about the land, and the elements, and about honoring the land that we stand upon. And so I bop around, I mean I love to take inspiration, but really for me, the most important part of my magical life is that I give myself the freedom, the complete freedom to explore. And express myself. There's no one guidebook that you have to follow.
There's no dogma. It's like, do what you like. Do what feels good. Try this, try that. I will often, like, cast a big spell and then take the remnants of the altar and plant it with seeds over it, and then I nurture the spell for weeks and days and months, and then the flowers grow, and so I have like a garden of spells that, you know, are evolving and coming true.
But it's, it's a, it's a, it's an amazing aspect of my life. It brings me so much joy, and it brings me a lot of inspiration for my relationship too. And for my sex life too. Like for me, my magical practice gives me a lot of inspiration to bring into my marriage. Well, it's the same
[00:22:11] kate: energy. Yes. You know, magic, spell casting, life force energy, eros, sensuality.
Like, it's all the same thing. Yes. I love this so much. Okay, so. So you've been married for 19 years, you've been together for 21 you're in a monogamous relationship which is important to say because I think a lot of the people who have long term like, sexually charged, you know, marriages, also are exploring in other ways which is so great I just think it's, you know, interesting that you have chosen the route of monogamy, and so I'm curious.
I'm curious, like, have there been periods of time where the spark went out? Yeah, of course. And what did you do? Yeah. At that time to reignite it if anything. Yeah,
[00:23:04] Dana: so much Let me get my plan.
[00:23:08] kate: I can't imagine that you were just like well that part's over. Yeah.
[00:23:11] Dana: No, I mean look It's such a huge part of our life And I've always viewed sex as a playground and some days you fall off the monkey bars and other days You're like going on the slide.
You're like, this is amazing. I have always seen And, you know, our sexual connection as an ebb and flow, I have always accepted that it's normal and natural to have passion and then the passion wanes and then the passion comes again. And so, for me, it's I'm very organized about my sex life. I'm, it's interesting because I'm getting less organized, which is nice because once I had kids, I had to be super organized to keep it flowing.
I was like, I would put, you know. Sex dates in the calendar. I would put one long love session, like I would dedicate an hour on a Sunday where I would get the kids out of the house and make sure we had time. Then I would slot in a quickie and I would slot in a solo session so that I was connecting with myself and I was super organized about it.
[00:24:09] kate: Putting it in your planner. Yeah, and I remember when you told me this and I was like that's so boring I know but I was fascinated because you know, I love planners Yes, I love planning, you know, and I'm very organized about my time Yeah And you did tell me to do that and I started to a little bit three times a week was like that's never gonna happen Yeah, yeah, but Like, once?
Yeah. Yeah. For me. And then, you know, anyway. So I love this. It was a great suggestion. And I just want to say, like, for you listening, do it. Yes. It does work.
[00:24:43] Dana: Do it because it works. And I get that three times can feel very overwhelming and non, not achievable. And, and, but I think if you keep in mind three times, but you get one or like one and a half.
Totally. You're doing really good. Shoot for the moon. Totally. Totally. Totally. Yeah. So I have a 10 year old and an about to be 13 year old and I would say for the first 10 years of having kids. I did this every week. I planned. I organized. I made dates because I knew that if I carved out time for it, then my mental energy would go there and then I would start.
We were thinking up what creative ideas we could bring to the sessions, and then it was exciting and it was like an event, and events are fun, and so then it was fun. And even though the scheduling, I get it, people feel like, well you lose the spontaneity and isn't that the most fun part? It was still fun.
It was still great, and we still showed up for
[00:25:42] kate: it. And it's not like you've planned every moment, you've just planned the date, so there actually is a lot of
[00:25:48] Dana: spontaneity. So you show up and then you see what unfolds. And then, of course, there were periods where, maybe I was shutting down in resentment.
Especially, you know, with two young kids, resentment is like, it's there. And if you don't work through that, it can really just like, kill your libido. It can kill the spark. So, I would say, to answer your question, when things would die down, I always took a look, like, what's actually going on here? Is it resentment?
Is it unmet needs? Is it I need more sleep? Is it I've lost connection with my own sensuality? Am I feeling funky about my body? Am I not carving out enough time to feel free? Because for me, I really identified that freedom is a huge contributing factor to me feeling sexy and alive and wanting sex. So I would always just kind of take a look at what was going on.
Sit down with my planner and my journal. Write down like what was going on. If I had resentment, I would clear it out. Always, I would clear it out. We have like a resentment check in frequently. A couple times a month we'd be like, hey, what are you resenting me for? And just spit it. Wow. Yeah. I
[00:26:57] kate: love that.
Really good and healthy. Our therapist told us to do that. We haven't done it. Do it. I'm totally calling myself out. Maybe by the time this episode airs, we will have. Yes. He called it like a, like a withhold. Yeah. Like, like, sit down and just like get into some of the stuff
[00:27:13] Dana: that you're withholding. And what's interesting is that Charlie is the one who brought that idea up.
He was like, I can feel your resentment. And I was like, oh, oh, oh.
[00:27:28] kate: Well, I'm not as good of an actor as I thought.
[00:27:32] Dana: So it's not just me feeling it. He's like, I can feel it. Why don't you just... Just tell me, just tell me what it is so I can, we can work on it. So now we do it all the time. It's just like standard conversation.
[00:27:43] kate: Yes. Okay. And here's to a man who can receive and just be there with that and not go into defensiveness or fixing. Obviously you're going to work on it because it's there, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course. Like that's the point of sharing it. Yes. But sometimes, I'm curious, in your experience, Do you find that sometimes just the act of saying it Heck yeah Is
[00:28:07] Dana: actually all that's necessary?
Oh my god, totally, yes, yes
[00:28:10] kate: Because this stuff,
[00:28:11] Dana: it festers Oh, the festering
[00:28:12] kate: is the worst When it's not verbalized And then it's verbalized and witnessed and it's like, oh, there it
[00:28:17] Dana: goes Totally, and I think if any woman watching or listening to this thinks about where she's resentment And just, where she's feeling resentment and just spends a moment, like, feeling it She can also feel her pussy start to like Like there's a direct connection and so when you free yourself of that resentment You also create a lot of space to get back in touch with your sexual energy Connected okay, so we clear out the resentment we come together again fun.
I think that's a huge priority for us, is making sex fun, and it does keep us coming back for more. Even when we fall out, or we have a, you know, a dry spell. And for me I'm just cognizant, like, okay, one week, no big deal. Two weeks, okay, that's like, let's like, let's really, let me think about this. It rarely goes past that because again, it's like, I just, when I look at my week, I'm like, okay, where's the sexy happening?
Right. Where's it happening? In a similar
[00:29:14] kate: way to the way other women might prioritize workouts, which I know you prioritize as well. I do. I'm just saying, like, it's societally, we're like, of course, we're prioritizing time with our kids. Yeah. We're prioritizing taking care of our families. We're prioritizing, you know, hopefully moving our bodies.
Yeah. So like, this is a critical part of your life as well. Yeah, and, and, With
[00:29:35] Dana: yourself or someone else. Yeah, and both. Yeah, and
[00:29:39] kate: maybe, I don't know, like, is it a suggestion that you have? I'm just curious. Like, if someone's like, not feeling it with their partner, perhaps starting with themselves. Oh, always.
In six states. Always. Might be a good
[00:29:49] Dana: idea. Always, and I also think that's like a big thing. Like, I have never stopped masturbating. For me, like, going to that self pleasure, that place, that, like, sacred connection with myself, that has been... A part of my life forever. I go to it when I'm sad, I go to it at, like, I was in, living in New York, you know, when nine 11 happened.
I came home, I ran home and I masturbated like, even though you might think, well, weren't you panicking and like running, like just thinking about your safety. And I was like, that was my safety.
[00:30:21] kate: It's a place to go. It's, it's very healing for the nervous system. Totally. It's a way to activate and combine those synapses to say like, When all hell is breaking loose.
Yeah, actually if there is capacity To have pleasure. Yes. It signals to your body that you are safe. Yes. So genius. Yes,
[00:30:39] Dana: Dana. Yes. Wow. Thank you for explaining it like scientifically because I'm always just like such a nerd. No, I love that. Let me pull out my glasses. No, I love that about you because I'm just like all in the feeling of it, but there is so much science behind it.
And so when I'm sad, I masturbate. When I'm angry, I masturbate. And I've expressed that anger vocally and verbally. When I'm happy, I masturbate. When I, you know, after we get into a fight, I will take time for myself and come back to my own pleasure. And I think that now as I'm aging, like my pussy needs me more than ever.
You know, and I love having this connection. Tell me more about that. Yeah, well I just think, listen, you know, I've gotten through the hard sort of physical years of parenting. And now I'm moving into the, I have more freedom, but I also, there are more challenging emotional aspects of parenting, like parenting teenagers, all the things you were saying.
How do you talk about this? How do you talk about that? I'm figuring it out. I can feel my hormones changing. I don't think I'm in perimenopause yet, but I'm turning 48. Like, it's here somewhere. And so hello. Oh, hi. And, and and, and I just want to maintain this connection that I have that's so inspiring.
That's this, like, direct connection to ecstasy and pleasure and happiness and release. And, like, I don't want my pussy to shrivel up and die. Well, and,
[00:32:14] kate: just biologically speaking, so first of all the data shows that the women having the best sex of their lives are 60 and above. Yes. I love this. Hello. I love this.
Number one. Number two, there is so much we can do to maintain and enhance our sexual energy and also just, like, physiologically, the moisture, the sweat. softness. And I know that you actually created something really beautiful for that purpose. I'm very excited. And the name just like blows me away. So can you tell us a little bit about the products that, first of all, we haven't even talked about your, your company, but Dana actually has, which I said in the intro, an entire company dedicated to women's.
Sex lives and their body confidence and cultivating beauty. Yes. And so anyway, tell us about your newest product I really love it. Thank you. I love everything about it.
[00:33:08] Dana: Thank you. So it's called glamour puss and Obviously, it's called glamour puss hydrating vulva balm, and it's a daily use It's a really beautiful balm to oil product that you use to moisturize your entire vulva every day.
And whether you have dryness due to hormonal fluctuations or stress or maybe you're breastfeeding and you feel dry, or you just want to maintain, you just want a ritual. I wanted to create a product that. really puts your relationship with your yoni, with your pussy first. And I wrote a spell for women to do with it.
And so you stand in front of the mirror every day, and you take a little bit and you rub it in between your hands to sort of melt it down. And as you apply it, you say, Here we go. I honor my pussy, I honor, hold on, my nose is running, hold on. Of course it is, you need a tissue. I need a tissue. Eva, could you bring a
[00:34:05] kate: tissue?
Can we get a tissue? Thank you. And then what I want you to do is, as you do the spell, will you do it right into the camera? I totally will. Okay, great. We're gonna be front and center.
[00:34:12] Dana: Yes, and hold on, I just, I also just forgot it. I honor my pussy, I honor my power, my magnetism. Some girls, hour by hour, soft and supple, glamorous, divine.
Everything I desire will surely be mine. With self-love and passion, my heart opens wide. The world is my oyster. My pussy provides . Okay, my sounded. That's so good. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Hold on. Oh my god. Okay, hold on. Sorry
[00:34:33] kate: guys. No, you're doing great. This is so awesome, Dana. Why is my nose running?
Because it gets all the juices going. Okay, thank you.
[00:34:40] Dana: Thanks, honey. Thank you. Yeah, let me cool down for a second. This pussy spell has got me all warmed up. It will. Hold on.
[00:34:46] kate: That's why we do it. Okay. That's the whole point. Is
[00:34:51] Dana: that the right word? Yes. I honor my pussy. I honor my
[00:34:53] kate: power. Do you can read it?
[00:34:55] Dana: No, I know the spell.
You I know the spell. I know the spell right now. Oh my god. Thank you. The snot's on the inside. Thank you. Thank you. Don't
[00:35:03] kate: you love that when you're having a massage and you
[00:35:05] Dana: use a tissue? Totally. I know. And they're
[00:35:08] kate: like, I'm like, well I'll just drop it on the floor. They're like, no, I'll take it. I'm like, okay.
You're like my mom.
[00:35:14] Dana: I know. It's so sweet. They don't care. They don't care. They touch people like for a living. Their immune systems are so good. Okay, so you want to give me the intro for that? And you want me to look right here? Okay.
[00:35:26] kate: Alright. So, with this product, I know that you actually created a spell to use with it as part of the daily ritual.
So, will you say the spell? I will.
[00:35:36] Dana: And, and listen, I think the word spell freaks a lot of people out. Oh, okay. Ritual. No, no. Yeah. No, I mean, look, I think you, if you, if you like spells, call it a spell. If you like a ritual, call it a ritual. Either way. You could call it a poem. Call it a poem. I like that. A pledge, a pledge, a pussy
[00:35:51] kate: pledge.
It's a pussy poem. It's
[00:35:53] Dana: a pussy poem. I love that. But what it's really about is like, I think we grow up with a lot of uncertainty about how we look, how we smell, how we taste, are we normal? And this is just really taking a moment with yourself to just... Honor and celebrate your beautiful pussy as she is.
Okay, and so the spell. Here we go. Alright, so you take your glamour puss and you like smell the rose oil and it's amazing. No artificial fragrance, no artificial color, no sulfates, no phthalates. It's amazing. No silicone. No sulfates. I said that. Okay, and you stand and you look in the mirror and you say, I honor my pussy.
I honor my power. My magnetism grows hour by hour. Soft and supple, glamorous and divine. Everything I desire will surely be mine. With self love and passion, my heart opens wide. The world is my oyster, my pussy provides.
Boom! I, I always use the word magnetism because for me it's like whatever I want to magnetize will come to me. But if you're working on self love, my self love grows hour by hour. If you're working on money, my money grows hour by hour. If you're working on your relationship, my relationship, my intimacy grows hour by hour.
Whatever you're working on, you're putting your pussy energy, you're loving, accepting. Sensual beautiful energy into that. Yes, and then you feel it's so interesting a friend of mine came over and I was like Do you want to try the new product? She's like I'm not dry. I mean she was really like no, you know I don't need this right because shame If there's something wrong with our pussies, our vulvas, there's shame.
And I was like, that's cool. This isn't about something being wrong. It is a solution if you do have dryness. But I said, just go in the bathroom. Charlie was sitting there. He's known her for 20 years. I said, just go in the bathroom and put it on. She came out. She was like, Totally. Oh my
[00:37:51] kate: god. Sure you could see it on her face, right?
Totally. Because it's all connected. So physiologically, right? Our pussies are the seat of our life force. They are the seat of our creativity. The second chakra is money, sex, and power. This is our power center. So to have something that you are doing daily to activate that magnetic energy. Yes.
[00:38:13] Dana: Whoa. I'm really excited about it.
Whoa. I'm really excited. I feel like, you know, our business, you know, has taken so many different journeys and it's been such a wild ride. I always, you know, So, I started the brand with the philosophy that every woman deserves to feel her most confident and sexy in her own skin, in her own way. And as the business has grown, we became very mainstream.
We stopped selling a lot of our pleasure products because we became so mainstream. And Facebook requirements, all these things that kind of stop you from like selling all the things you want to sell. Yeah, because the culture is repressive. Exactly. But I am so excited to really get back and release this.
You know, it's so connected to the DNA of why I started this brand, just to really help women just become so connected to themselves, and to harness that sensual power and take it out into every aspect of their lives. For me, that's what this product does, and I'm really very excited
[00:39:17] kate: about it. Tell me about why you chose to use the word vulva.
[00:39:22] Dana: Yes, thank you for asking that question because I went back and forth with that a lot. I was going to call it a hydrating intimate balm. So it was between hydrating intimate balm and hydrating vulva balm. And at the end of the day, I felt like if I called it an intimate balm that women would only think that it was for use in the bedroom.
And I wanted to bring this experience out of the bedroom and make it a daily practice. You know, we all put moisturizer on our arms and our legs. We all put cream on our faces. We put on our sunscreen, our this and our that. But why aren't we taking care of our vulvas? And also, like, up until a few years ago, so many women didn't even know The vulva.
We all called it a vagina. It's still pretty common.
[00:40:05] kate: You think so? My girls. It's just our community. Of course, my girls know it as the vulva. Yes, yes. They had to ask me what a vagina was, which is hilarious. I love. But their friends with their anatomically correct like feminist moms. Yes. Are often. Yes.
Telling them they have a vagina. Yes. Which they do. Yep. It's just incomplete. So I'm just like to see the word vulva on packaging of a product is actually
[00:40:31] Dana: I think it is. I thank you for saying that. I think it is. I think it was a bolder choice. I think that we'll need to do education on it. A little bit of education.
But, I, it, it says, it says hydrating vulva balm in gold foil. And like, it's great. I mean,
[00:40:45] kate: look at the font. Just, can you hold it up to look at the font? Yeah. So, and we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll cut into that. I mean,
[00:40:51] Dana: it's just so gorgeous. Thank you. And then on the inside. There's cats. Because, like, why not?
But also, there's a, there's a QR code that will take you to a page where there's five different pussy rituals that I have explained. So the spell ritual is there, there's a pussy gazing ritual, there's a solo session ritual and there's some affirmations and really good stuff to get you inspired.
So it comes with
[00:41:15] kate: education and activities. Yes. Okay, so you run this company with your husband. I do. Did you start it with him? Yes. We did. Together.
[00:41:23] Dana: Yes. Okay. We started together three months after we met. For the love of God. Okay. For the love of God. It's all we've ever known.
[00:41:30] kate: We have such a similar path in terms of like love and marriage and money.
Yes. So, I know it's not always been easy. You've gone through so many seasons. I mean, we're talking basically 20 years of loving each other and making money together It's wild ride. It's not for everybody. Yes.
[00:41:47] Dana: And thank you for your support always. Of course. You know, when we get together for our lunches, I really value your support on that.
So good.
[00:41:53] kate: Well, it's just not everyone. It's a unique. Totally. Constellation. It is. Working with your spouse. And so, I'm curious what are, you know, like, not to try to boil you down too much into a blog post, but. I like a good bullet point. I am curious, like, what are some of your, maybe three or however many you want to do, of your.
Best tips for what makes it work in this particular season. Yeah with working with your husband Love
[00:42:20] Dana: that. Okay. Number one. We work in separate spaces
[00:42:24] kate: Affirm
[00:42:26] Dana: Let's not be around each other all day. Like let's actually be in separate physical spaces. Let's come together. Are you at home? We are now in separate buildings.
We are now we are in separate buildings of the home Yes, so funny. It's true. You know, we gave up our office when quarantine and all that happened. I would love to get out of the house again, but I don't know if it's quite right and actually quite like some aspects of it. So, but we do we work in separate spaces.
Which is helpful. We even do like zooms. Even if we're on the same Zoom, we'll stay in our separate spaces. We do that too. So we don't interrupt each other. Like Charlie is now hitting the raise the hand button in the Zoom and I'm like, this is a revelation. I've been waiting 20 years for you to not interrupt me verbally and this is like a major growth moment.
[00:43:14] kate: It's the opposite in our marriage. You interrupt me. I'm the interrupter. Huh. It's something I'm working on. I'll start, maybe I'll start raising my hand. Thank you. That was a good tip. Raise the hand.
[00:43:21] Dana: Raise the virtual hand. It's kind of cool. It's cute. Okay, so secondly we obviously we communicate about everything and I would add to that there is a level of radical honesty now that has entered our relationship within the last few years that has also come into our business conversations.
And it's just like, I feel like you're micromanaging me and I want to kill you. I mean, I have rage about it. And he can hear that. What a straightforward sentence. It is very straightforward now. There's no, like, the facade, the dancing around him, which I recognize that I did even unconsciously. The appeasing, you know, that kind of stuff.
As independent and strong as I've always been, these last few years of becoming radically honest have mean, have meant that not only am I radically honest with him, I'm radically honest with myself and my own patterns. And so really looking at the ways where... Maybe I wouldn't say something because I didn't want to get into it with him or I didn't want him to feel a certain way.
That's gone. We're radically honest. It makes our bickering and our fights a lot shorter and we just get through things a lot quicker. It is
[00:44:28] kate: such a time saver. Yes. Yes.
[00:44:30] Dana: Wow. And then sex breaks. Okay, I'm just going to, you know, we definitely during the work day work day because your kids are at
[00:44:38] kate: school because
[00:44:38] Dana: the kids are at school.
It's a little. Do you schedule
[00:44:41] kate: those? I do like in between
[00:44:42] Dana: zoom. I have to. Well, I have to schedule them on the days where there's no one else in our house. I know that's so that's kind of tricky because we do have, you know, help with cleaning of the house and which is great. So it needs to be on a day where there's no one else in the house.
And that's just fun. Yeah. That's just fun. That just says, let's have some fun, let's break free from the roles that we are in when we're in business mode and let's play. And let's have a little bit of pleasure. So that's very helpful.
[00:45:12] kate: So it sounds like you are more of the leader in your sex life. Is that true or is Charlie also bringing ideas and creativity?
and sending you a Google Calendar invite for a sex date. Like, how does that work? Yeah, so
[00:45:26] Dana: you ask the best questions, Kate. You really do. I'm really quite curious. Ask the best questions. So, I am the leader in planning. And I would say that we are equal leaders in bringing the fun. He is phenomenal at ordering the kinds of lingerie I like to wear.
He is amazing at bringing in new toys, new things to play with, new you know, apps, right, for erotica, different things. He is excellent at bringing, bringing the fun and bringing the newness. And I bring... I love talking about this. I love to dress up. I love to bring a sense of
Exposing different aspects of my personality. I think that dressing up for me is like a vehicle to that expression. It's like I get to try on other sides of myself or I get to explore, you know, the flirty or the naughty or the dirty or whatever. And so I would say also, like, if you're uninspired, like, play dress up.
And allow that to just maybe uncover something new about yourself that excites you to show it off in the bedroom. So I do a lot of that. That's
[00:46:45] kate: fun. Dressing up. So you, you do the planning, but you equally bring the fun. Definitely. And he's really good at accessorizing. He's great. The scenario and, and juicing it up and adding.
Okay. Totally. And
[00:46:56] Dana: he's really great at knowing what I need. Like, if I show up, and I'm like, we have 15 minutes, like, we have to go like, and he's like,
[00:47:08] kate: You're so hot right now.
[00:47:11] Dana: Poor guy, he's like, I don't want to get in there. He's like, do you need a massage? I'm like I do. So he really knows how to help me transition.
I will often make time for a transition, like 5 to 10 minutes to Touch myself, to get dressed, or undressed into something else, to dance, to move, to think sensual thoughts, and then we begin.
[00:47:34] kate: I love that. Mm hmm. I don't know if you'll ever do this one day, but I think it would be really great, because I know you've written your two books, and they're phenomenal, and I think there's another one, possibly about sex and magic, because, you know, this spell that you did, this love spell is...
Yes. It's been passed down from woman to woman for thousands and thousands of years. And more and more people are talking about it, which is very exciting. But I love the way you bring you bring such a like a lightness and almost an innocence to these conversations that make it very approachable.
Thank you. And because that's like, this is. This is very pure. It's like a very pure aspect of us. Yes. And it's just the culture that has told us it needs to be in the shadows and is dirty because it's our power. Yes. So of course, you know, right? And that wasn't a question, but do you have anything to say about that?
Oh my
[00:48:34] Dana: god, yes. I would love to write a third book. And I definitely think it will be some sort of a magical book. I like that you sort of honed in on Sex and magic. I was, I was thinking maybe it'll just be like a spell book of like all my best spells because I write them down and take pictures of them.
Do you have like a grimoire? I do, I do. I'll show you next time you come over. Yeah, I really want to see it. But yeah, I would love to do a book on, on sex and magic and I, there is a lot more information out there about sex magic, which is amazing. I think that for a woman who is not yet, Introduced to that world hearing the phrase sex magic might feel overwhelming Totally but it is just about ritualizing And tuning into the present moment beauty of the moment, bringing real intention to it, bringing attraction, the law of attraction into your pleasure.
I mean, pleasure is such a powerful force within us, and it is like a magnet. So why not? Use it to draw, use our pleasure to draw what we want to us. So, thank you for the tip. I will start mapping that out. I will read that
[00:49:45] kate: book. Yeah. I mean, I'll just ask you questions in the meantime. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But for those who can't just text you. Yes. Or go to lunch. Yes. Okay, so, the name of the podcast is Plenty. As you know. Yeah. And it's about really having an experience with money, time, and energy where there just is like this oozy, more than enough, like liquid golden honey feeling. So I'm curious for you, knowing that we've discussed sex, we've discussed magic, I want to know is there anything that you do or any lessons you've learned?
about how you can infuse your business and your money making with some of this energetic, magical quality, and, and how do you, how do you do that, if so? Yes.
[00:50:29] Dana: So, I still struggle with scarcity mindset. I go in waves, for sure. And when I feel that, I always come back to the word bounty. What is my bounty?
What is the bounty that already exists in my life that I can look to as evidence to know that I can overcome this challenge, to know that I can make the sales that I need to, to know that we can achieve the goals, right? So I literally will sit down and write that question in my journal. What is the bounty that already exists in my life that I can look to as evidence and proof?
And then I just... Write down the evidence. I made it through this. I made it through that. My bounty is my children. My bounty is the love. My bounty is my pleasure. My bounty is my home. My bounty is that my parents are still alive. Like, all this bounty! And then even right now, just saying the words, like, I am infused with the feeling of bounty and abundance, and that's what I do.
[00:51:23] kate: I love that. Yeah. I have an alter ego. Yeah. I have an alter ego named Betty Bounty. Oh my god! Yes! No way! Yeah, so I think about sometimes like, what would Betty Bounty do in this scenario? So I love
that so much. That's killer. If you could go back in time. That's
[00:51:45] Dana: killer. That is killer
[00:51:47] kate: girl, I didn't know that about you. If you could go back in time and tell like Your young self coming just out of college or just out of high school or whatever you're doing in those early days, coming into making your own money.
Yeah. What would you want to tell her about money? What advice would you give her? Oh God.
[00:52:06] Dana: I don't have a pat answer for that. I think because I'm still learning a lot. I think that I grew up with the idea that money was hard. And it was hard to come by, and if you weren't working, oh I know exactly what I'm gonna say.
If, okay.
It's not exactly about money. What I would tell myself is that your worth is not tied to your financial success. Like that will come, but your worth is tied to how you love. It's tied to how you feel about yourself, and it's tied to how you can help other people feel great about themselves. And that's what I would tell myself, because that is truly now where I understand my worth to come from.
Yeah.
[00:52:48] kate: Yeah. That is so delicious. Thank you. And then tell me what the word plenty makes you feel, or what it means to you.
[00:52:55] Dana: The word plenty feels really grounded to me, and it makes me feel Like stop rushing and just root in to the plenty that already exists. It makes me think of a garden It makes me think of my garden And it makes me feel enough It makes me feel enough Love you, Dana.
[00:53:15] kate: I love you so much. You are so wise and so fun. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for being here Thank you for sharing yourself So generously sharing the bounty of you. Oh my god. Thank you So if people want to connect with you, can you let them know where and also I think we have a special discount code We do them for glamour plus we do about
[00:53:33] Dana: that.
Yes. Yes, you can find me on Instagram personally at Dana Meyers Xoxo, you can connect with all things about the brand on Instagram at booty parlor. We're also on tick tock at 48 I'm like climbing on board with my cane. I'm to the tick
[00:53:48] kate: tock
[00:53:51] Dana: I'll help you. It's not as bad as I thought it would be. And yeah, if you wanna, you can actually shop for Glamour Pose or anything on this site with the code KATE20. And you get 20 percent off anything.
[00:54:02] kate: Yeah. Thank you for your generosity. Oh my god, thank you. So all of that, of course, will be in the show notes as well if you're driving.
I love you.
[00:54:09] Dana: Thank you for being here. I love you. Thanks for the opportunity to come on and talk and share about my magic. I think it's the first podcast that I've shared fully about my magic and also the first podcast that we've really gotten into glamour puss on. So you pop my cherry baby.
Thank you love. Thank you.
[00:54:30] kate: Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Plenty with Dana. Isn't she just delicious? So, of course, if you liked it, please share it with someone. Subscribe, leave us a review, go shop for some Glamour Puss. I love you and I will see you next time. Woo hoo! You made it to the end of an episode of
[00:54:55] Dana: Plenty!
[00:54:56] kate: Don't you feel expanded already? So if you liked this episode, go ahead and leave us a review. Subscribe to the podcast, text a friend, and let
[00:55:07] Dana: them know they need to listen in.
[00:55:09] kate: That helps us spread the word. So more people can experience plenty together. And if you want to ease your path to creating wealth, I created a money breakthrough guide for you, where I interviewed over 20 of my high earning women, friends.
And I asked them what their biggest money breakthrough guide was, and the responses were so mind blowing and helpful, I knew I needed to pass them along to you. This is the kind of thing that is often only shared behind closed doors, but now... You can access it totally for free. So head over to katenorthrup.
com forward slash breakthroughs and get the guide. Again, that's katenorthrup. com forward slash breakthroughs. And I'll see you next time for plenty.