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Orthodox Christian Parenting, hosted by Faithtree Resources Executive Director (and mom of four!) Michelle Moujaes, is a weekly podcast for parents and grandparents navigating the holy struggle of raising kids in the Orthodox Faith. Each episode offers honesty, encouragement, and practical wisdom from the Church—creating space to exhale, freedom from the pressure to be perfect, and openness to grow as you raise children who are deepening their knowledge and love of Christ.
Welcome back to another special episode of Orthodox Christian Parenting. We are in the final stretch of our Summer Clip series, sharing the most practical moments from our past seasons as we count down to Season three. Today, we're revisiting a conversation that is so relevant for every family today. How to raise content kids in an I want more culture. We're joined by Rachel Cruz who offers such a refreshing perspective on gratitude.
Michelle Moujaes:She reminds us that contentment isn't about having everything we want, it's about being grateful for everything we already have. Rachel shares some incredibly practical ways to teach our children the value of money and how to help them navigate the pressures of social media and comparison. Most importantly, she talks about how our relationship with stuff as parents sets the tone for our children's hearts. Let's jump in. So let's just jump in.
Michelle Moujaes:I wanna get us all on the same page. So when we say contentment, can you tell me what that word means to you? Like, what is contentment?
Rachel Cruze:Yeah. It's a great question because I do feel like there's so many definitions the way people talk about it. And I've written about it for so many years. And honestly, for me personally, there is a level at peace at which your heart just rests and where you're at presently. And to me, that's contentment, that it brings a level of peace in your life that you are able to be so present with where you are in the moments and in the situation you're in.
Rachel Cruze:Now, just because you're content doesn't mean that you still don't have goals or you're not still striving for something. You can have those things and still be content. It is ultimately for me, and again, everyone has their own definition, it is this place where your soul just rests in peace, that you are at peace. And in first Timothy, it says that godliness with contentment is great gain. And so that godliness peace with contentment together is like a superpower,
Michelle Moujaes:I feel like in today's world. Absolutely true. So paint a picture for me. If our, audience full of Orthodox parents and grandparents were to watch this and do everything that you and I talk about today, what would it look like that might be different than it is right now so that they have that contentment or peace that you just spoke about? What would it even look like?
Rachel Cruze:Yeah, I think there's a level of satisfaction. And I think it's just this place of rest that there's like not there's a restlessness that can live in us so often to feel like we have to keep up. We have to keep doing what everyone's doing, whether it's a standard of living or a job, or even honestly the, you know, our kids in the way that they're quote unquote behaving or whatever, whatever life is throwing at you in this moment, there's something to be said of, Hey, I'm going to see the joy and find the gratitude in this moment. And so for me, it's just that presence of mind that you're actually intentionally thinking about those things. And that is hard because I know at least for me, I may have three kids.
Rachel Cruze:I'm working. I'm a wife. Like you have all these roles that you play. I'm, you know, getting texts from the PTO in the last meeting I was in just before I came here, you know, of like a, like when there's, there's so much, like there's just so much going on. And so I think, you know, there's when contentment plays such a big part in your life, you're so aware.
Rachel Cruze:So self aware, and there's a slowing down that has to occur in your soul in order to get there. And we don't live there often. I don't live there often. You know, even my natural bent personality is a go, go, go next thing, task lists, all of it. And there's just something about when you, I don't know.
Rachel Cruze:I, I, I meet people sometimes, you know, and I'm just talking to them. I'm like, gosh, they just have a slowness, a they're not urgent, and they're just so presently aware. But again, I think that takes a mindfulness and a deep intentionality, that doesn't come, I'll say for me, naturally. So people that work at that and build that over time. And I think different seasons of life may give you the margin to be able to go there even more.
Rachel Cruze:But yeah, you meet people that live that live that verse out truly godliness with contentment is great grain over decades of their life. You meet them and you're just like, I wanna be you. That's You don't need to see that in them. So I grew up as Dave Ramsey's daughter. So Dave is my dad.
Rachel Cruze:And, you know, it's funny because I will talk to people and they hear that and they assume that we were obsessed with money, that like, all we talked about was money and that, you know, budgets and that we had mutual funds, birthday parties. And like, you know, people think all this stuff about us, but the truth is mom and dad really lived out this beautiful principle that more is caught than taught. And so we did have discussions around money, but it honestly was in the ebb and flow of life. It was never I do not remember ever sitting down in the living room in this, like, formal setting and getting a three hour crash course on taxes and investments. Like, that's not how I learned those things.
Rachel Cruze:It was through things happening in life. And that's like, Hey, just check this out. Look at this. Or we'd be at the grocery store, and mom's like, Hey, just notice this cereal is cheaper than this because it doesn't have the bee. The bumblebee is different on this box of Cheerios versus this, and it's just cheaper.
Rachel Cruze:It's called store brand versus, you know, name brand. Like it was in those moments that you take and watching my parents too say no to themselves, to big purchases, watching them have the patience to save up and pay for things, and the slowness at which they have won with money, their actions follow that. They never hurried themselves beyond what they could make. And so, there's something about that principle of living something out. People see your actions and it is so true.
Rachel Cruze:Like so many of my money memories is just, again, in the mundane parts of life, but mom and dad were aware of them enough to speak into that, which is beautiful. And that was more the tactical side, you know? And we had chores. You know, I always laugh. I'm like, I've been on commission since I was like five years Because you work, you get paid.
Rachel Cruze:You don't work, you don't get paid. That's where money comes from. And you give first, you save second, and you spend third. And we had three envelopes as kids, and we had to put our money every week in these envelopes. So, the tactical side was very real.
Rachel Cruze:But then there's the emotional side of money. I mean, you opened up with contentment, right? There's an emotional side that is picked up on in the household. That I think generosity, gratitude, like there's this philosophical way of looking at money and not making it an idol. Know, even in scripture, like there's, there's more scriptures about money than heaven and hell combined.
Rachel Cruze:Like there's so much said, so many of the parables that Jesus talked about were money focused. Like there's so much about money. And so there's something beautiful in that because there's some warnings about it that are very fair, but then also some very practical applications. You read through Proverbs and it's like, Oh my gosh, you could get a master's degree in finance. You know, just waiting for that.
Rachel Cruze:Like, it's amazing. And so, there is that more spiritual philosophical side of money that is as important as tactical, but both have to meet in the middle.
Michelle Moujaes:I love that. You said the word gratitude, which, you know, the Orthodox Church Fathers talk about all the time outside of even holy scripture. Gratitude implies you're grateful to someone. And I think that is one of the lessons that at least for our kids so we have four. And one of the things we constantly and not everybody who knows me knows I'm big Dave Ramsey girl.
Michelle Moujaes:We we found Financial Peace University right when we first got married, and it was a game changer for us. But one of the things I know as we really talked about money with our kids and we really spoke into, you know, the place money served in our lives and where it really didn't demand the focus of our lives, gratitude was something we always came back to. And I think we have, an obligation as parents to really tie together the idea of who are you grateful to. Right? Who gave you all these resources?
Michelle Moujaes:Because if you understand whose resources they are and who you've been entrusted to steward them, then you could go forward and steward them with a whole different level of freedom.
Rachel Cruze:All kids, including my siblings, have such money you know, different personalities when it comes to money. And my middle, which I was the middle in my family, is me. Like, as she plays things out in life, I just see it. I'm like, I get you so much because you are literally me. I get it.
Rachel Cruze:But she's the spender of our family, and as was I and as I still am. And she does, she wants new stuff. And I remember, this was just like two months ago at our dentist's office, they get like a little coin that they get a little contraption thing and they get a little fidget toy or something. And I remember her saying, mom, I just cannot wait to go I cannot wait to go to the dentist because I just can't wait for that toy. I just can't wait to get that new little toy.
Rachel Cruze:And I told her, was like, Caroline, I was like, okay. That's fine. Like, you can be excited about that. And I'm not gonna, like, shame you and be like that's wrong. But also, what did you get six months ago from the dentist?
Rachel Cruze:What what toy did you get? And she was like, oh, I don't I don't know. I think a bouncy ball. And I was like, okay. Where is that?
Rachel Cruze:She's like, have no idea. I was like, okay. Caroline, if the newness of stuff is what creates joy in your life, you're gonna be like a little hamster on a wheel that just runs and runs and runs, you're gonna get nowhere. And I can say that to you because that's me. Like, that's me, my Amazon earrings or whatever, you know, my drug of choice in that way as an adult.
Rachel Cruze:And so it is that reminder of ourselves of that part of our brain that is God given, God created. There is a dopamine hit. Something triggers in us that exciting and new is fun. But if you live in that part that is never going to be satisfied, genuinely, the brain chemistry is never satisfied long enough. That's why we keep going to the next thing and the next thing and the next thing.
Rachel Cruze:And so shifting our what we're looking at, what we're desiring and wanting to something that is good for us. So whether that's calling a friend, going on a walk, reading a book, right? It's almost like creating a new habit in its place. And so, for her, I just see it so much in her because, again, it's me. When those moments come up of like, Mom, can I just look on X, Y, and Z?
Rachel Cruze:I'm like, Hey, no, let's let's go play a game. Let's go do something else. So, you kinda almost have to if you're in a bad You redirect. Sex do. You do.
Rachel Cruze:And in our world, we don't have to redirect because we have our phones and we have everything right in front of us. We're able to get those quick hits, you know, the dopamine hit. And we live in that forever and ever until finally we have a wake up moment of like, can't just keep living like this. Or financially, I'm so deeply in debt of continuing to buy and upgrade that we don't have the money and now I'm stressed out. You know, people hit a wall eventually, whether it is financial, spiritual, or emotional.
Rachel Cruze:And so, if you hit the wall, listen to that. But yeah, kind of having those conversations, at least I am with my kids, because I see it in them, and I get it. And for me, I'm like, and I tell myself this, I'm like, you know, if nobody sees this purchase, do I still want it? Like how much of our motivation is for other people, right?
Michelle Moujaes:That's so So,
Rachel Cruze:there's a the why we wanna spend is a very fascinating question to ask yourself. And I think it starts to get at the root of things, right? Some people spend because they're bored, which means they're kind of bored with their life. They wanna check out, and this feels good over here, and I'm gonna just spend here. Some people, you know, out of, are, are, you know, I've talked to so many people in the Ramsey show and they've gone through sobriety.
Rachel Cruze:But instead of doing this over here, I'm gonna just go spend. Redirect it in a, you know, not a great way Yes. To Or that you're spending because of you wanna feel good about yourself. You want others to whatever that is, like understanding that motivation. And that's the stuff that I that's the layer at which we can have the conversation work from.
Rachel Cruze:Because, yeah, the name brand, the school, what you're saying, I mean, all of it, it is so wrapped up in ego. Like our egos play such a role in all of this. And people that chase that life over and over and over for years and decades, like, again, back to the very beginning of our conversation, they're not the ones at peace. The finish line continues to move for them.
Michelle Moujaes:That's And
Rachel Cruze:so, there's something about not letting it become us. And that's a really hard thing, I think, a practical way to teach. I think, again, it's a spiritual shift
Michelle Moujaes:that has Christine to asks, I have two teenage boys and I'm newly divorced. We are on a tight budget right now, and I am very worried that my kids are going to feel deprived. I find myself buying them things I normally wouldn't because I feel bad that they've seen their parents go through this divorce. How can I possibly cultivate contentment in a season where we truly should be saying no to everything, but I can't even stop myself?
Rachel Cruze:Yeah. I think the biggest gift when you have teenage boys and you're in that situation is to give them honesty and where you're at. Great. And that is a life lesson that they carry for the rest of their lives. If they can have a single mom that actually has a boundary and says, I'm actually not gonna go beyond what we make because the stress of that even though in the moment I think it's gonna feel good and everything's gonna be, it's gonna be a Band Aid, it's not actually the deeper healing that I'm looking for.
Rachel Cruze:And I'm not gonna let money be in the way of this horrific thing that's occurred of this divorce, which is just so sad and so horrible, so horrible. And so I'm actually gonna leave margin so that I can have peace in this area of my life because this other area of my life is really heartbroken. Like, that's a gift to me.
Michelle Moujaes:That's right. And the peace is so much more important than this stuff. My gosh. So much.
Rachel Cruze:Oh, fight for peace. And when we over leverage ourselves, we create deep stress, lack of sleep. I mean, staying in a job we hate to pay bills for stuff that we're trying to impress people we don't even like. Right?
Michelle Moujaes:And then you have to manage all the stuff.