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Happening in Upland is your weekly rundown of what’s going on around town—local news, community events, public safety updates, new restaurants, development, weather, schools, and the stuff Upland residents actually talk about.
Delivered with humor, honesty, and a very local point of view, this isn’t stiff broadcast news. It’s real, relevant information with personality. If you live in Upland or anywhere nearby in the Inland Empire, this is your weekly shortcut to staying in the loop.
MARK: Welcome to 'Happening in Upland', the only show that dares to broadcast from the city of gracious living while we're all secretly living in a state of perpetual irritation. It's Monday, June 8th, 2026, and I'm Mark, your guide through the suburban wilderness, joined as always by Joleen, who I'm fairly certain is currently sixty percent lemonade by volume.
JOLEEN: I'm literally sweating citrus, Mark. It's disgusting. If you see a swarm of bees following me today, don't be surprised. But yeah, we're here, we're cynical, and Upland is still Upland. If you've got complaints, or you've found a way to actually afford a house here, hit us up at upland@thehappeningnetwork.com. We'll probably ignore you, but it's good to feel heard, right? Go ahead and like, subscribe, and leave a comment telling us how much you hate the traffic on Euclid. It feeds my soul.
MARK: Let's kick things off with the big news, and by big, I mean the absolute logistical clusterfuck that just wrapped up in the downtown area. The Upland Lemon Festival finally ended last night, and honestly, the only thing more sour than the fruit is my attitude toward parking. Did you actually make it to the main stage for Flashback Heart Attack, or were you too busy trying to find a spot that wasn't three miles away in Ontario?
JOLEEN: I'm a professional, Mark, so I just parked on someone's front lawn and left a note saying I was a distant relative. But for real, the crowd this year was insane. Journey USA and Uptown Funk really brought out the people who haven't updated their playlists since 2014. It was like a high school reunion where nobody actually wants to talk to each other. The VIP lounge was supposed to be a 'shaded, intimate experience', which is just corporate-speak for 'we've got slightly better chairs and the line for the bathroom only takes twenty minutes instead of forty'.
MARK: I saw those 'flushable air-conditioned restrooms' in the VIP section and I've never felt more like the 1 percent. It's amazing how much people will pay just to not use a porta-pottie that's been sitting in ninety-degree heat all afternoon. But the festival's over now, so we can finally return to our regularly scheduled programming of driving through downtown without fearing for our lives because a toddler with a sticky face ran into the street.
JOLEEN: God, the sticky faces. It's like a plague. But if you missed the festival, don't worry, the city is already onto the next thing. We've got a City Council meeting tonight at 6 PM. I'm sure it'll be a real thrill ride of zoning permits and people complaining about leaf blowers. It's the heartbeat of Upland, Mark. A very, very slow, irregular heartbeat.
MARK: Moving on to crime, because nothing says 'gracious living' like a constant fear of your Amazon packages disappearing. The latest stats are out, and apparently, you've got a 1 in 34 chance of being a victim of something in this town. Those are actually decent odds for a casino, but for a neighborhood, it's a bit of a dick move by the universe. I saw a report about a suspicious person over the weekend making 'strange comments' and asking employees to call the cops. That just sounds like my average Tuesday.
JOLEEN: It's the wild west out here, just with more Teslas and better landscaping. We've had a string of retail fraud and some 'disorderly conduct' that usually spikes right around the time the beer garden at the festival starts closing. It's almost like giving people large amounts of alcohol and then making them walk past expensive merchandise is a bad idea. Who'd have thought?
MARK: Exactly. And let's not even get started on the package thieves. I watched a guy on my doorbell camera yesterday take a box of dog food, realize it was heavy, and then just leave it on the sidewalk. At least have some commitment to the bit, you know? If you're going to steal from me, at least have the decency to follow through. It's just disrespectful.
JOLEEN: Let's pivot to something actually positive, even though it kills me to say it. Upland Unified just dropped some stats on the Class of 2026, and these kids are apparently much smarter than we ever were. They collectively hauled in over 1.1 million dollars in scholarships. One girl, Nora Maung, got into eleven different universities and is heading to Stanford with a ninety-two thousand dollar scholarship. Ninety-two thousand dollars, Mark. That might actually cover the cost of the textbooks and maybe a sourdough bread bowl in Palo Alto.
MARK: I'm genuinely impressed and slightly intimidated. When I graduated, my scholarship consisted of a twenty-dollar gift card to a place that went out of business two weeks later. We've also got Aliyah Ortiz heading to Alabama for nursing and Colton Montgomery going to Redlands. It's great to see the kids doing well, even if it makes me feel like a complete failure. I hope they remember us when they're running the world, or at least when they're designing the robots that'll eventually replace us.
JOLEEN: Don't get too sentimental, they'll probably just use their Stanford education to find more efficient ways to tax our property. But seriously, graduation was June 4th, and the city finally feels a little quieter now that the seniors aren't doing burnouts in the high school parking lot every five minutes. Now we just have to deal with the middle schoolers who think they're immortal because they've got three months of summer ahead of them.
MARK: Speaking of being immortal, or at least trying to look like it, let's talk about food. I finally checked out 'The Kebab Shop' on Foothill recently. It's one of those 'new school Mediterranean' places that tries very hard to make a wrap look like a piece of art. Honestly, it's a bold move to open a kebab place in a strip mall next to a dry cleaner, but the Doner wrap actually had some flavor. It's not exactly 'gracious living' dining, but it beats a sad burger from a drive-thru.
JOLEEN: I went there too, and while the food was okay, the 'vibe' was basically 'we spent all our money on neon signs and forgot that humans need elbow room'. The fries were decent, though. I'm just cynical about anything that describes itself as 'fire-grilled' when I can clearly see a guy using a toaster oven. But hey, if you're tired of the same three chain restaurants, it's a solid choice for a Tuesday night when you've given up on cooking.
MARK: It's better than L and L Hawaiian Barbecue, which just opened a new spot. I love Macaroni Salad as much as the next guy, but I'm not sure my heart can handle a meal that's basically just three different shades of beige. Upland is slowly becoming the capital of 'food that makes you want to take a three-hour nap'. We need some variety, people. Give me something spicy that doesn't come with a side of white rice.
JOLEEN: You're asking for too much, Mark. This is the Inland Empire. Beige is our official color. Let's move to sports. While most of the high school stuff is wrapping up, I saw that 'Strength and Honor MMA' right here in Upland is pumping out some serious tiny warriors. They've got an eleven-year-old, Jaedyn Martinez, who's basically a human weapon. These kids were training all weekend for a big competition in Orange County. I'm not saying I'm scared of an eleven-year-old, but I wouldn't want to meet her in a dark alley if I owed her lunch money.
MARK: MMA training for kids is the most '2026' thing ever. Why play T-ball when you can learn how to put a classmate in a rear-naked choke? It's practical. It builds character. And it's probably the only way to survive the walk to the library these days. In other sports news, the Highlanders' football schedule for the fall is already out. They're starting up in late August, so if you enjoy watching teenagers give each other concussions in hundred-degree heat, mark your calendars. I'll be in the shade with a cold beer, thanks.
JOLEEN: You're such a dick, Mark. But you're not wrong. The heat is the real story here. Let's look at the weekend guide, and by weekend, I mean the absolute madness starting this Friday, June 12th. The FIFA World Cup is officially kicking off in LA at SoFi Stadium. USA versus Paraguay. Even if you don't like soccer, you're going to feel the impact because Metrolink is launching their 'enhanced service' from Upland. It's basically a soccer shuttle for people who don't want to spend four hundred dollars on an Uber to Inglewood.
MARK: I'm actually kind of excited. The World Cup is huge. But the thought of thousands of soccer fans descending on the Metrolink station makes me want to lock my doors and stay inside until July. They've got fan zones at the Pomona Fairplex and Downtown Burbank, too. If you've ever wanted to see a bunch of grown men crying over a missed penalty kick while eating a funnel cake, this is your golden opportunity.
JOLEEN: It's going to be a shitshow, but a world-class shitshow. If you're planning on taking the train, keep in mind they're doing those late-night departures specifically for the matches. Just don't expect it to be a quiet ride. It'll probably smell like stale beer and broken dreams by the time it gets back to Upland. But hey, it's history! Or at least, it's a reason to drink on a Friday morning.
MARK: History is just another word for traffic, Joleen. And speaking of things that make life difficult, the weather forecast for this week is basically a personal attack. Today is Monday, June 8th, and we're looking at clear skies and a high of eighty-eight. By Wednesday, we're hitting ninety-one. It's officially 'my AC unit is making a weird noise' season. We've got clear, hot days through the 15th. No clouds, no breeze, just pure, unadulterated radiation.
JOLEEN: I hate it here. Why do we live in a desert? Every year I act surprised when it gets hot in June, but this is the reality. If you're heading out to any of those soccer fan zones, wear sunscreen, or you'll end up looking like a piece of the fried lemonade from the festival. The overnight lows are staying in the low sixties, which is the only time it's actually safe to breathe outside. Enjoy those three hours of comfort while they last.
MARK: And let's talk about the roads, because the 'transformation' of Foothill Boulevard continues to be the longest-running comedy show in Upland. They're still doing utility work and 'rehabilitation' near 14th Street. It's like they finish one section and then immediately realize they forgot to bury a single copper wire, so they dig it all up again. I'm starting to think the orange cones are just permanent outdoor furniture at this point.
JOLEEN: I've started naming the cones, Mark. 'Clarence' has been outside my favorite coffee shop for six months. He's a good listener. But really, keep an eye out for those overnight lane shifts. They're trying to separate the traffic from the workers because, apparently, people in Upland have a hard time distinguishing a construction zone from a drag strip. It's a miracle anyone makes it to work on time.
MARK: The drag strip thing is real. I saw a guy in a tuned Honda Civic nearly take out a bulldozer last night. If you're that much of an asshole, at least do it on the 210 where it's expected. Don't bring that energy to our local streets. We're trying to live graciously here, remember? Or at least, we're trying to live until the next paycheck.
JOLEEN: Good luck with that, because the real estate market just hit a new level of insanity. The median price for a single-family home in Upland is now eight hundred fifty-five thousand, five hundred dollars. That's a five-thousand-dollar jump since the last time we checked. We've only got about 1.9 months of inventory. Basically, if you want to buy a house, you need to show up with a briefcase full of cash and a kidney to trade.
MARK: It's unbelievable. Who are these people buying these houses? At this rate, by 2030, a literal cardboard box behind the Stater Bros will be listed for half a million. It's a seller's market, which is great if you're a sixty-year-old looking to retire in Arizona, but it's a total bitch for everyone else. If you're a first-time buyer in Upland right now, I genuinely hope you have a very wealthy, very old relative who likes you.
JOLEEN: I don't even have a relative who'll lend me twenty bucks for the Lemon Festival, so I'm screwed. But hey, that's the price of living in the shadow of Mount Baldy. You pay for the view and the constant threat of a brush fire. It's a lifestyle choice, I guess. Or a hostage situation. It's hard to tell the difference sometimes.
MARK: Well, on that cheery note, we're wrapping up another episode of 'Happening in Upland'. Remember to like, subscribe, and hit the notification bell so you can hear us complain about the heat again next week. If you've got a story, a restaurant we should roast, or you just want to call me an asshole, email us at upland@thehappeningnetwork.com.
JOLEEN: Yeah, do it. I need the entertainment. Stay hydrated, stay cynical, and try not to get into a fight with a soccer fan this weekend. Or do, and send us the video. We'll see you next time, Upland. Try not to let the sun melt your brain entirely.