Journey to the Sunnyside

Today I’m talking with Ada Avdic — a full-time content creator, mom, and beauty expert who thought she didn’t really drink all that much. But once she started tracking with Sunnyside, she realized she was drinking more than she thought — and that small changes could make a big difference. In this episode, Ada shares how she cut her drinking in half, rethought corporate and “mommy-wine” culture, and found real balance — without giving up the glass completely.

Want to drink less with no pressure to quit? Visit https://ctbk.co/4doo5dq for a free 15-day trial of Sunnyside.
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ABOUT SUNNYSIDE: Sunnyside is the #1 alcohol moderation app that helps you drink less without any shame, guilt, or pressure to quit. Optimize your alcohol habits to achieve benefits like sleeping better, losing weight, feeling more energy, and saving money. We know that an all-or-nothing approach doesn’t work for everyone, so we focus on helping you set your own goals, celebrate small wins, and build a lasting system of accountability. As a result, 96.7% of our members see a big drop in their drinking after 90 days.

Disclaimer: This podcast is not intended as medical advice, and the views of the guests may not represent the views of Sunnyside. If you’re concerned about your health or alcohol use, please consider seeking advice from a doctor.

Creators and Guests

Host
Mike Hardenbrook
#1 best-selling author of "No Willpower Required," neuroscience enthusiast, and habit change expert.

What is Journey to the Sunnyside?

Journey to the Sunnyside is a top 1% podcast, reaching over 500,000 listeners every week. It’s your guide to exploring mindful living with alcohol—whether you're cutting back, moderating, or thinking about quitting.

While Sunnyside helps you reduce your drinking, this podcast goes further, diving into topics like mindful drinking, sober curiosity, moderation, and full sobriety. Through real stories, expert insights, and science-backed strategies, we help you find what actually works for your journey.

Hosted by Mike Hardenbrook, a #1 best-selling author and neuroscience enthusiast, the show is dedicated to helping people transform their relationship with alcohol—without shame, judgment, or rigid rules.

This podcast is brought to you by Sunnyside, the leading platform for mindful drinking. Want to take the next step in your journey? Head over to sunnyside.co for a free 15-day trial.

Disclaimer: The views expressed in our episodes do not necessarily represent those of Sunnyside. We’re committed to sharing diverse perspectives on health and wellness. If you’re concerned about your drinking, please consult a medical professional. Sunnyside, this podcast, and its guests are not necessarily medical providers and the content is not medical advice. We do not endorse drinking in any amount.

Speaker 1:

Welcome to Journey to the Sunnyside, the podcast that helps you build a better relationship with alcohol and uncover the secrets to mindful living. Each episode brings you real stories, expert insights and practical tools to support your goals. Whether you're cutting back, taking a break, or thinking about quitting for good. I'm your host, Mike Hardinbrook, bestselling author, neuroscience enthusiast, and habit change expert. This show is brought to you by Sunnyside, a personalized science backed program that helps you to drink less through habit change, coaching, and community.

Speaker 1:

And for added support, we now have Sunnyside Med, option offering access to compounded naltrexone, a prescription medication that reduces cravings and helps prevent binge drinking. Ready to start your journey? Get your free fifteen day trial at sunnyside.co. Today I'm talking with Ada Abdick, a full time content creator, mom, and beauty expert who thought she didn't really drink all that much. But once she started tracking with Sunnyside, it revealed a different story.

Speaker 1:

Ada shares how she cut her drinking in half, rethought corporate drinking culture, and found real balance through mindful drinking.

Speaker 2:

Okay, Ada. Thanks for coming on today.

Speaker 3:

Thank you so much for having me. I'm really excited to chat more with you.

Speaker 2:

Definitely gonna be a fun conversation. I'm looking forward to us getting to know each other better. People on the Sunnyside team say nothing but amazing things about you. But for those that are listening that don't know, can you introduce yourself, who you are, what you do, what life looks like right now, maybe as a mom and a professional?

Speaker 3:

Yeah. So my name is Adelita Avdeesh. I've been a content creator since 2013. So I originally started blogging and I was more of a writer because I wasn't really well spoken and I didn't have a good camera presence. Obviously, as social media has changed to be mostly video, I have adapted and shifted to platforms like Instagram and TikTok.

Speaker 3:

So I am a full time content creator. My husband works alongside me, and we have a three year old who is now in daycare. So the day basically starts and ends with her. If anyone ruins bedtime, they're dead. So the, yeah, the day kind of is dictated by her schedule, dropping her up at school, and then what deadlines I have.

Speaker 3:

So I work with a lot of beauty brands specifically, and I will try new beauty products and test them either ahead of their launch or when they're launching and compare different products. But my main niche is truly in beauty and in particular skincare. So I love to review beauty products, which is just so much fun on a day to day basis. And then I actually got into Sunnyside probably about a year and a half ago because I am at home all the time and I work from home. I'm with my computer, my laptop.

Speaker 3:

Pretty much every single day, that's where my workspace is. And so, you know, when four or 05:00 hits, you're just like, woah. The day's over. Like, let's let's have fun. So that is originally how I actually got into Sunnyside and how I started the journey here.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. I can I mean, I can relate in so many different ways? Number one is, like, making that transition from maybe, like, the written word to video because getting on video, talking, doing all of this was never I mean, I'd be like, yeah. I that's not my thing. I'm not gonna do that.

Speaker 2:

So, like, you probably went through a little bit of that, and then you realize, I mean, you're you're natural at talking in front of the camera right now, so it's probably more convincing yourself of it more than other people that were actually listening to you. And then busy mom. So but today, we wanna talk about Sunnyside, maybe a little bit about, you know, what you've learned along the way, your experience with the product, some of your perspectives on certain aspects around culture, mommy cult wine culture, around corporate drinking. But, you know, you you've touched on what originally drew you to Sunnyside. You know, can you share a little bit more in-depth of where you were before, you know, looking at Sunnyside, what maybe some of your inner dialogue?

Speaker 2:

And then when you did see Sunnyside, you know, what sort of the kinda happened in your mind to for you to wanna try it?

Speaker 3:

So originally, when I saw Sunnyside, it was actually from a colleague in the space. You I'm sure you're familiar with her soberish mom. I saw her do a challenge and I was like, you know, I don't really feel like I have a problem, but I do drink. And I feel like I drink a lot of days, but I kind of had this misconception in my mind of how much I drink. I never really felt like I had a problem.

Speaker 3:

I still don't. I think that my perspective has shifted because originally, you know, I would have this thought of, oh, I only had one drink last night. And the reason I chose to do Sunnyside is because I wanted to really see, am I only having one drink? What does that look like? You know, am I refilling my wine glass?

Speaker 3:

Am I having a second drink and thinking, oh, it was only one because that was kind of the world I was living in. And I also didn't believe it was as frequent as it was. And so Sunnyside was kind of the first step to actually get realistic and like bring me to earth of what am I actually drinking and how often versus me just having a thought in my mind like, oh, it's no big deal. It's only one glass of wine. I feel like that was the first start, but I also approached it from like, I don't have a problem, but I wanna just like check-in and see and test this app out and see how many days can I go without drinking, you know, and kind of do a little challenge with myself?

Speaker 3:

And I think that's what made me realize, okay, yeah, there is frequent drinking and it's definitely more than one drink. So it was really getting down and being honest with myself because at the end of the day, like, no one else is gonna tell me yes, no, like, what's what's right or what's wrong. I feel like I needed to just do it for myself. And that was really originally the reason I got on Sunnyside. And so, yeah, I've loved it.

Speaker 3:

It's been a huge change and it's actually part of my everyday routine now. I have an Oura Ring too. And so I'll wake up in the morning and I check Oura Ring and then I get the text later from Sunnyside. So those are like the two apps. Obviously, on top of the social media apps, but those are the two that I check every day to just make sure that I'm checking my sleep score and then, of course, checking the number of drinks and making sure that I put that in essentially what is a diary.

Speaker 3:

And I haven't missed a day. Every day when I get the text that says, make sure to confirm, I always do. So it's just one of those things that's part of the day. If I don't do it, I feel weird now. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

I mean, that's what's called building a habit. So I mean, it sounds like from your perspective well, first of all, the mention with Katie, you know, and the connection there and relate probably related to her story because I know for her story, it was eye opening when she actually started to track her drinks and realized I'm in the heavy drinker category, and I would have never guessed it. And, you know, I think one thing that you mentioned there that I think might be distinct for some people's journeys. So, like, it wasn't really a problem in your mind. And so for that reason, you probably didn't give it that much mind space.

Speaker 2:

And sometimes when it does get into the problematic, and I'm speaking from personal experience, you're you're literally, like, counting the drinks the night before, and you're very like, okay. I gotta I gotta do something about this. But then the other perspective is where you're just like I said, you're not you're not thinking about it. And I think that's more relatable to when people don't realize how much, like, sugar maybe they eat or how much, like, calories they eat, and they start tracking their macros and all that. Sunnyside brought that level of awareness to you that, first of all, you don't have to have a problem to wanna make an adjustment and do better.

Speaker 2:

But it brought that awareness where you're like, oh, there actually is probably room here.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. Absolutely. I think that was the first time I thought, you know, this is not great for me. And obviously, we know from science that drinking every day or drinking every other day, it's just not good for you. Obviously, no drinking would be best but that again, it's something that is not really realistic for me.

Speaker 3:

I've always made this joke that I will never be sober unless I'm pregnant and that obviously was true during my pregnancy. And so I'm like, I don't have any more kids. Like, I'm not gonna be sober. It's not gonna be something that I would choose for myself. And so I feel like there's always kind of a discussion about, are you are you a drinker or are you sober?

Speaker 3:

There's no in between. And I think that was really what attracted me to Sunnyside because all the messaging I've seen has been very nonjudgmental and very accepting of you can drink, but you wanna do it in a mindful way. It's all about mindful drinking. Plan your drinking days and stick to what you said you were gonna do. Were you only gonna have two drinks?

Speaker 3:

Okay. When you have the first drink and you clock it, I love that the app will actually text you back and say, okay, you've had your one drink. You know you plan to have another one. Let's like keep it within that limit. And then if you get to two drinks really early in the night, it's like, okay, well, you hit your limit that you plan for yourself.

Speaker 3:

Let's have a think before you choose to have more. And I've always liked that because it's based on the goals I set for myself for the week. It's nonjudgmental. It reminds you of what your goals were. And in those moments when you're like, oh, I can just have another.

Speaker 3:

It really does make me personally think like, no. I told myself I was gonna have to. I don't wanna be ahead of my limit. And it's, again, it's nonjudgmental. It's not saying don't drink at all.

Speaker 3:

It's saying let's stick to what you plan to do. And I think for me, it's really important that because I choose to drink, I don't wanna be judged for it, but I do wanna stay on track. And I think that's why Sunnyside has been so perfect for me because it helps me stay on track and it doesn't make me feel bad. There is no point where I have felt like, ugh, you know, like the app sent something to me and now I feel really bad about myself. It's always just positive of even if I went three drinks instead of two.

Speaker 3:

It's like, that's okay. Like you have room during the week to actually make up for this and maybe on one of your other days you drink less, you know, just to balance it out. So I've always loved the balanced nonjudgmental approach. It's so much better than anything else I've ever experienced. And I have tried some of the other competitors and I hated them.

Speaker 3:

I've definitely tested the waters of, like, what's out there, and Sunnyside by far has been the most incredible approach.

Speaker 2:

It's so good to hear. You know, we we see in the community, but, like, having these conversations and hearing the impact at different stages for different types of people and in different, like, case study, case scenarios, or whatever you wanna call it where, you know, for you, it was just more about, like, being better and being having a a resource that can really bring that forward for you. Because, I mean, at the end of the day, what you're basically saying is, like, I'm an adult. I wanna choose a life. I can assess the risk that I include in my life and, you know, kinda weigh that out as far as, like, the benefit and do I want it there and because we don't really want somebody else to just decide that for us.

Speaker 2:

Because even if we are convinced of that, many of the times, it's very difficult to sustain that. But tell me about the numbers. So tell me if you don't mind sharing, like, kinda where you were at, what you figured out, and where it brought you to where you're happy.

Speaker 3:

I had a feeling you would ask me this question and I thought like, am I gonna share this or am I not? So when I originally started tracking drinks, I think I was somewhere in like the 15 drinks a week and that is when you hear that, I'm like, oh my gosh. That's so problematic.

Speaker 2:

Don't think so. I think maybe it sounds problematic to you, Leo. And then somebody else

Speaker 3:

will be

Speaker 2:

like, oh, you're a lightweight. So, I mean, you you gotta put it in perspective in the lens that somebody's looking at it.

Speaker 3:

I know. And I actually when I and this kind of goes back to I'm such a justifier. I can justify anything. Like, if I want to justify it, I will make, like, some reasoning for it, you know, and then there's always girl math and all all these concepts. But when I log into the app, there's a really cool feature that allows you to journal.

Speaker 3:

And if you wanna make your journal entry public, you can. And so I've read through different people's journal entries public. And so when I log into the app sometimes, I see people who will share, you know, they had like 10 drinks in a night. And I'm like, okay, well that to me that feels problematic. Right?

Speaker 3:

But to your point, it's a totally different scale because if they're drinking Bud Lights and those are so low, like you start thinking about it, you're like, that's a lot of beer but it's also very low ABV. I started thinking about it and I'm like, well, that feels problematic to me but then that's like the amount I'm drinking over a week but if I'm having like an old fashioned, that's a heavy hitter. That's high ABV. So I I I you know, you start to kinda just think like, well, that feels worse if I'm only having one. And like I said, I can justify almost anything.

Speaker 3:

But I also feel like seeing other people's entries has helped me realize that we're all on different journeys and what our tolerance is, what our weight is. Is it a girl or a guy? Because tolerance is very different there. And so it's all about your own perspective, which goes back to we're all on our own journeys. Like, we're sharing the fact that, yes, we may wanna drink less, but we have completely different parameters of what that means to us.

Speaker 3:

So for me, I was kinda mentioning, I started around 15, which felt like, woah, that's crazy. That's, you know, an average of three to four a day, like that's a lot. And at this point, I'm really aiming for five to nine a week, which is pretty much cutting it in half or a little bit more. And I will say some weeks, I feel like, you know, I can totally do this. It's not that hard.

Speaker 3:

But again, I feel like a wine glass. This is me just surviving. I'm like a wine glass, it just goes by so quick. And then you're like, oh, it's you're already two.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. I'm like, you

Speaker 3:

can't I don't

Speaker 2:

think you gotta I don't think you have to convince anybody of that.

Speaker 3:

Well, that that's basically my numbers as start around 15, but I think that's when I actually started to track it too. I felt like, oh, I just have like a drink like, you know, every other day, you know, whatever. That was not the case at all. That was not you know, that 15 is averaging three plus bottles of wine a week. I'm trying to keep it to one, maybe one and a half at this point, which is a pretty big downgrade.

Speaker 3:

But it's also I feel like your tolerance starts to change as well, which is really nice because obviously the more you're drinking, the more you need to drink to feel that buzz. But it's yeah. The numbers always scare me because even when I think like, oh, six, I'm just like, oh my gosh. That's still so much. You know?

Speaker 3:

But then I think, well, that's only like one a day. And I don't know. Like I said, I can honestly justify anything.

Speaker 2:

No. I mean, like, I totally get it. I think, you know, there's a range in the standard based on, you know, what the recommended for a man and a woman should be. And above that, we've really you know, you kinda wanna try to bring it down below that. But anything from around that that area, as far as quantity or less, it's really kinda up to the person.

Speaker 2:

And, of course, that recommendation could change, and it depends on who you ask. And and it really just depends on, like, what your lifestyle is, and you can say, you know, for you, that seemed like a lot. For somebody else, that might be their goal number, you know, to get down from maybe double that. And and that's where they'll be happy and where they feel like it doesn't make a negative impact on their life. And they might know some of the consequences that are possible with health.

Speaker 2:

But, I mean, you can't do anything that without affecting your health these days. You can't drink water out of a bottle. You can't go to fast food. Everything has seed oil. I mean, like, you know, so where's the risk lie?

Speaker 2:

I you know, obviously, there is risk with alcohol, but there's just risk everywhere we look, and you just kinda, I guess, take your chances and choose your goal.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. That's exactly how I feel because I have actually argued and debated with my step, stepfather-in-law, I think. Yes. Uh-huh. He's a big sugar person.

Speaker 3:

He loves soda. And so he and he doesn't drink any alcohol. That's just not his thing. He's very against it. He says it just kills your brain cells.

Speaker 3:

And I'm like, sir, what do you think the soda is doing to your gut? I mean Yeah. And it's like two sodas a day. I feel like I'm good with drinking three days a week, you know? Like, you're having two of those sodas a day, like, we can compare.

Speaker 3:

Yes. One is worse. But I mean, sugar and salt are huge killers of people in this country and I'm sure all over the world as well. But I know it's a big factor for us. And I'm like, well, you're just having that every day.

Speaker 3:

So I don't know. I start to justify it and then you you bring in the food, the fast food, the not sleeping, the like, all the things, the not exercising. I mean, that's a much worse lifestyle than me having my wine, you know, a few days a week. Again, I told you,

Speaker 2:

actually just wanna spend my money. No. It's okay. I mean, there's actually it's a totally we won't go off on a tangent here for long, but if anybody's listening and you might if you haven't seen it, did you see their recent study around soda and nonalcoholic fatty liver disease that they just recently came out with, like, a week ago?

Speaker 3:

No. I haven't

Speaker 2:

seen it. Basically, it increases your chances by forty percent, and it's just one soda a day both. And and it said that, diet is worse because it is related more to gut, which gut is connected to liver health.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. I mean, I've always my mom growing up, we never had soda. So it was never a factor for me. So when I see how addicted people are to their Doctor Pepper, their Diet Coke, like the Diet Coke craze is wild. And I know to your point, I've heard the diet is always worse, which is interesting because it's diet.

Speaker 3:

You would think, you know, it's a little bit better, but that's not the case. So it's interesting, and I will be sending that study to

Speaker 2:

Yeah. Well, you know, it's I think it's pick your poison with that one, diet or sugar. They're both like I've always thought they're both horrible for you. You just gotta just in different ways. I never grew up drinking much soda.

Speaker 2:

I definitely I would get I think I get sick if I re drink a regular one. For a little while after I, like, my direction, alcohol, I drink diet for like, Diet Doctor Peppers for a while. Yeah. And then I kick I just stop doing that. Sometimes I'll drink a Zevia or something with monk fruit, and that's about it.

Speaker 2:

I really get tired. But okay. I'm I'm taking this off off topic, but I still think everybody listening is still gonna

Speaker 3:

be interested in

Speaker 2:

what we're talking about. No. So I love that you shared your experience. What's your favorite? You know?

Speaker 2:

Because you mentioned I talked to a lot of people that use Sunnyside, and they talk about the tracking, but I haven't heard a lot of people talk about the diary entries and that sort of thing. Is that what's one of your favorite features aside from the tracking that you've been using with Sunnyside?

Speaker 3:

I think the journal is nice because even if I'm not putting an active journal entry in there myself, I do like to read other people's journal entries that choose to make it public. Sometimes they're super positive and, you know, talking about how they're having a great week. They're actually ahead of their goal. They skipped a few days drinking. And one aspect in the journal entry is you can see if it's green, yellow, or red.

Speaker 3:

So what green means is that you're on track. Yellow means that maybe you hit your mark for the day. And then red is like you went over your drink limit that day. So you can see this from that person's diary entry, which is pretty cool because if someone's having a good week, can see green, green, green, green, green. And then their entry is like, I'm having a great week.

Speaker 3:

And then there's people who are struggling in there who will write about their struggle. And I feel like I can relate a lot of times because as you get, you know, towards the end of the day, we've been conditioned. And I know we're gonna talk about this with the corporate space, but, you know, you start to feel a little bit conditioned. You're like, okay, it's like 03:00, 04:00. And I go in there and I'll read some of the entries.

Speaker 3:

And if someone's struggling, I'm like, I totally relate to this because I also feel like, you know, it's a Tuesday and I wanna have a drink. It's 04:00, you know. And to read that other people are also experiencing that, it's it's nice but I also recognize that there's people who are doing much better. And I take both of those kind of like the relatable, you're also struggling, so am I. And then also the positive of the person who's absolutely crushing it and has they're like, I'm good.

Speaker 3:

I don't need a drink today. Yesterday went by so fast. So I think that it helps kind of balance balance it out. And it's all pretty anonymous like it'll be, you know, Julie s or something, you know, like, it's very anonymous. But it's cool to see the goals and what their plan is for the week.

Speaker 3:

And are they all green? Are they green and yellow? Are they all in the red? It it's a pretty cool feature because it almost feels like we're all in it together as we're all, like, anonymous people sharing a a similar experience, but, again, like, different parameters of, like, what the success means to each of us.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. You know, what you said there is so powerful in that many of us can be on this journey, and we feel so alone. We feel maybe flawed. Like, why can't I be like so and so? And then you go and see stuff like that, and you realize, like, I guess I'm not the only one dealing with that.

Speaker 2:

And then you realize it's actually super normal. And and then it just I think it moves that negative self talk into, okay. I am normal. And, okay, that that person's doing well. I can do that too.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. It really on a day to day basis for sure. And I think the community aspect is why I like that because, obviously, I'm a person who's on social media, so I do like community. And I feel like since we're all kind of in it together on Sunnyside, it just feels more open and judgmental less judgmental of the fact that, you know, we're all drinkers and we all are hoping to drink a little less, You know? It is that same journey and I just like having that approach.

Speaker 3:

Because sometimes even when I share like an Instagram story of a glass of wine or something, the amount of people who will just respond and be like, oh, I just had x y z or oh, it's Wednesday, like, shouldn't be drinking on a Wednesday. Like, it doesn't feel great. And then you go on sunny side and you're like, oh, my god. Everyone's having happy hour right now, you know? And it's just like, it's different.

Speaker 3:

And I I like that because it is it's back to being mindful. It's not about being judgmental. And that's just like, honestly, I keep keep saying that word, nonjudgmental. It is so important to me because I don't wanna be judged for my decisions. Just like I don't judge people who drink two sodas a day.

Speaker 3:

I don't care. But I also don't want you to tell me that what I'm doing is wrong when, you know, it's like you got your your thing that you like to enjoy every day. You know, people do whatever they wanna do. Like, you've got smokers and drinkers and whatever. Like, we all have that thing that just brings us a little bit of joy.

Speaker 3:

Like, let us enjoy it. You know? Yeah.

Speaker 2:

No. I I totally know where you're coming from and especially on social media. And I was gonna ask you about this in your experience because I, you know, I've done social media stuff, and and part of the thing that you're saying around, you judgment or maybe posting in the reactions is that people are very opinionated. And some of the people that are very, like, hardcore and most loud are in the sobriety camp, and I think that's amazing. Like, that works for them.

Speaker 2:

They also tend to be the loudest and be the most opinionated. And so being probably being a content creator in this space where you're not it's like this middle zone. You know? Like, there the sobriety side is very much like, let's band and be, you know, really let everybody know and support each other. And I I love that support, but it's not always wanted or invited Right.

Speaker 2:

In what in specific situations. And then in there's other spaces where it's not really problematic, and they do wanna people do wanna cut back, but they also don't necessarily want it to be known. So then it's a little bit quiet in that space. So it's a little bit, like, tough, I think, in that in that middle gray zone as far as it's not polarizing, super polarizing. Right?

Speaker 2:

And so it gets it's hard to get a lot of traction, in that zone. How do you've what's your experience been, you know, kinda talking and being online, doing that, like, more in the moderation, mindful drinking, I guess, zone or movement?

Speaker 3:

Yeah. I feel like when I started Sunnyside, I mostly only talked to Katie about it and then my husband. Didn't really

Speaker 2:

I ask you one thing? Did anything I say there, do you agree with that first?

Speaker 3:

I do. And it's actually something I've talked to Ian, of the founders of Sunnyside. I have friends who are sober for various reasons. And I feel typically, in most cases, pretty judged. And I don't like that.

Speaker 3:

You know, it leads me to not want to go out to dinner with like a group if I feel like that person is gonna be there because I don't wanna feel I don't wanna feel judged. I mean, I feel like that's kind of my theme with all of this is I don't want people to have that thought and I shouldn't really care, you know, because I've chosen my path. I'm not gonna be sober. And so I feel like the sober the sober people who make their page all about that, it's very judgy and I don't really care for it. And I also feel like sometimes the approach with AA and some of those other programs is very much like we're the problem because we still consume alcohol.

Speaker 3:

And alcohol should just not be in the universe. And it's like, okay, well, is. And if and we feel what it was so hard. So that's just not the right way to handle it. It's not an all or nothing approach.

Speaker 3:

And I feel like if you're sober, amazing, great. But I don't really care when that's your whole personality. And I think a lot of the times when people do message me and say, you know, well, it's Wednesday, like, maybe you shouldn't be drinking. I'm like, you don't even know when I took this photo, first of all. Like, right with social media?

Speaker 3:

I this could be from last weekend. Like, you have no clue. Like, I'm just posting it at that time. But I also feel like I go to their page and literally in their bio it says sober. And I'm like, of course.

Speaker 3:

Because it's like the whole personality, you know? Yeah. And so I don't care for that side. And then

Speaker 2:

You know what comes to mind? That's none of your business.

Speaker 3:

That's That too. But I I do feel like a lot of the times it's just very it's over the top. And I will totally agree like do what you wanna do. You wanna be sober, amazing, good for you. Like you're better than me, whatever.

Speaker 3:

But that's just not me. And so it is tricky sometimes because there are actually some very active people in my community. And I didn't realize this until I posted my very first Sunnyside post. A lot of people that follow me actually don't drink. And I was like, oh my god.

Speaker 3:

You know? And so then, I'm like, I'm gonna go back to Sunnyside. I I didn't realize that, you know, it was pretty surprising. And for various reasons, people messaged me and they were like, you know, I have a family member or I have this health condition that if I drink, it makes it worse. You know, just various reasons which I'm like, absolutely, I totally understand.

Speaker 3:

If my health was gonna be very negatively impacted with the condition I had with alcohol, I would probably think three times about it and be like, probably shouldn't be drinking, you know? But that's not the case for me and I do appreciate when people share their stories and I just feel like it's very loud. The the sober people are very loud and then everyone else is like, what? Oh, add an ice cube or, you know, it's just it's been an interesting journey. And I like I mentioned, I didn't know if I was ever gonna share this because I didn't even wanna bring I didn't wanna bring any light into it because I don't want people to start judging me again and saying like, you have a problem.

Speaker 3:

Like, you shouldn't be drinking on a Wednesday. And it's like, what's the difference? Like, I work at home. Wednesday is Sunday, is Monday is Tuesday. Like, what what day like, you know what I mean?

Speaker 3:

Like, what's the we just have this culture around the weekend, you go out and drink, which starts typically in college. And then with corporate life, you know, it starts at 4PM every day of the week. Like, you don't know. So I feel like we've put ourselves in these windows of you can only drink on this day. It's acceptable to drink on a Saturday.

Speaker 3:

But if it's a Monday or Tuesday, absolutely not. And so I get into like the nuance of that as well of like, well, what what does it matter? You know? Like, I'm not going into a job. I'm not in a I'm not a brain surgeon who shouldn't be drinking on the job or a pilot, you know?

Speaker 3:

Like so I feel like there's nuance to all this.

Speaker 2:

There is. There's a lot of nuance. I certainly can relate to that part. Well, first of all, what it, like, says who is, like you said, basically, around the timing. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

You know? Who knows if I work if my weekend is Wednesday. Really? You know? And

Speaker 1:

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Speaker 1:

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Speaker 2:

So one of the things that I struggled with was that I was my own boss. I worked my own hours. I actually really probably only worked about ten hours a week just with the business that I had set up that afforded me to do basically anything. So I had to all this freedom, right, and very little accountability. So that that actually was part of the challenge for me because every fry every day could be Friday.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. But, you know, alcohol never got problematic for you, but what what are some of the challenges that you've found, you know, working at home or with a more flexible schedule?

Speaker 3:

In terms of just being able to drink? Or

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. I mean, you know, it's interesting because I think when the pandemic happened, I think everyone realized, like, we don't have to we can't go anywhere. So like, what are we gonna do? We're just gonna drink. We're gonna smoke.

Speaker 3:

We're you know, like, what else is there to do? Like, we've run out of shows. I do think that it is a lot easier to drink more often when you are at home all the time. And I don't I'm absolutely against drinking and driving. If I even have two drinks, I'm like, I'm Ubering.

Speaker 3:

I'm I put myself in position, which I know that that's a whole separate combo. But that's why I almost feel like I'm not a problem because I'm always in my house. And I feel like I'm being safe, not overdoing it. Again, me justifying myself out of a paper bag. But it's it's definitely a lot easier because I'm not going anywhere.

Speaker 3:

I'm here. I'm done with my work day and I work with a lot of East Coast based companies. So they're three hours ahead of us. So they're already gone. So it's what do I have to do the rest of the day?

Speaker 3:

Absolutely makes it a lot harder. So it is tricky. I think if I was out and about and you're stuck in traffic and you're not able to get home, like that would absolutely like by the time you get home at 06:00, you I'm trying to just make dinner and go to bed. Right? Whereas if you're at home all the time, it does feel like, okay.

Speaker 3:

Well, let's have a drink. Like,

Speaker 2:

not going

Speaker 3:

not doing anything. Why not? You know? So I think it does make it a little easier to drink and a little harder to not want to drink.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. You know, one of the things I will say is that, you know, you could you'll say things like, well, just to justify it. But you know what? Honestly, if this was we were having this conversation fifteen years ago, let's just say, like like, you know, same age, fifteen years earlier. You probably would be going through your life at this as a social norm.

Speaker 2:

You would never even give it a thought. But, like, fast forward to now, there's, like, new conversations being had, and there's things like Sunnyside that can assist. And all of a sudden, like, now you're wanting to go from I'm doing good to I wanna do even better. And I I feel like that's where your zone is. Like, you absolutely probably could have gone a lifetime without even thinking about it, which you really didn't.

Speaker 2:

Right? You didn't think too much of it. No. But now all of a sudden, you did, and now you feel really good. And you feel so good that you wanna actually share your experience with others so that, you know, they can have resources and know a little bit of more information on things that they might be questioning about their drinking.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. A couple of the people who signed up, they told me that they didn't realize they were drinking as much as they were. And I knew there were I don't wanna say party girls. People who drink, you know, that are in they're our age. They're in the corporate world, they are going out to dinner, having two, three drinks with dinner, and maybe they do that two, three times a week.

Speaker 3:

They're like, oh my gosh, I did not realize, you know, over the course of these three dinners, I'm having 10 drinks, you know, because it's very siloed for them. It's like you're going to dinner and you're just having drinks with your food. But then you start to add it up and again, it's just it gives you the realization of, wow, that may feel like a lot because if you were handed all those drinks in one go, you'd be like, this is way too much. This is crazy, you know? And I think that part of the issue it's interesting because I didn't drink until I went to college.

Speaker 3:

Like never had a sip of alcohol. Never snuck out. My mom was my mom could hear a pin drop across the house. It was possible. There was no way I was ever sneaking out or doing anything like that.

Speaker 3:

So when I went to college is when I had drinks for the first time and, you know, that's just part of college life.

Speaker 2:

Sure.

Speaker 3:

But I think it got worse in the corporate world because, like, drinking in college is like you have three shots and you're like, oh my gosh, like, I I'm so drunk. Then in the corporate space, you're older, usually your body weight is a little heavier and it becomes this constant thing because I was in sales taking clients out. What are you gonna do when you take your clients out? They're, you know, wanting the nicest bottle of wine and oh, we're gonna have two of those bottles of of dinner and we're gonna order the steak. And so you get you get into this culture where it's your body is expecting it, you know?

Speaker 3:

You have the drinks at four, five, six, whatever. And that just becomes the norm and then that time hits and you're like, okay, well, it's time to have a beer. It's time to have a glass of wine. And that's originally how I got into sort of this cycle of happy hour. You know, it's for a reason because it's the happiest hour of the day.

Speaker 3:

You've done a great job at work and now you get to enjoy a treat. And I know, again, it's different for different people. You know, people love like an afternoon sweet treat. I was never that person. I was more like, I'll just wait for happy hour.

Speaker 3:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Totally.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. So I I feel like it for me, it really started more so in the corporate side. And then when I left that job, then I'm working at home all the time. And it's like you're kind of conditioned because you've been doing that for so long of, well, it's time. It's happy hour.

Speaker 3:

And we just kinda discussed it's a little bit harder to not wanna drink when you're at home and you're not gonna go anywhere and, like, what's the harm? You know?

Speaker 2:

Isn't it interesting also, like, even if you're at home, that that corporate culture or just a culture in general of happy hour everywhere you go, you know, discounts on happy hour. But you don't need to be anywhere for it to be happy hour you're like, oh, it's happy hour. It's 05:00 somewhere kinda thing. You know? And so all of a sudden, happy hour can be wherever you are.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. Like, when it

Speaker 2:

comes to, like, an excuse to drink anyways.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. You know? And this is another interesting tangent too because I've had therapists in the past who I mentioned, you know, I drink. And most recently, I actually talked to a friend who's a therapist. And she was like, well, why do you drink?

Speaker 3:

And I think that also kind of comes back to what is the fuel for the drinking. And I told her, I said, I feel like it's a treat at the end of the day and I deserved it and that's like my treat. You know, some people want whatever it is that they want. That's like their tree. And she told me from like the psychological standpoint that it is more frowned upon to be drinking because of negative reasons, whether it's emotions, you know, the things like depression and anxiety versus you're celebrating something.

Speaker 3:

And I asked her, I said, well, why is that the case? And she said, when you are happy, you already are running on endorphins and dopamine. You're you're have you had a good day and now you wanna celebrate. Like, you know, you get a big deal. This is an exciting one for me because I love I'm still a salesperson at heart.

Speaker 3:

When I get a great brand deal, I'm so excited. I wanna celebrate. And she said, when you are celebrating, you tend to have maybe one drink because you're already running so high on the dopamine and you're so happy. Whereas if you are depressed or anxious or suffering from sadness, you are going to drink so much more because you are trying to feel better. And that was the the whole psychological explanation of what she said is like, you know, if someone is in a deep depressive state, they're gonna end up having multiple drinks every night versus you're happy, you might have one and you're just like, I'm good because you you just had a good day.

Speaker 3:

And so that thought process was very interesting to hear from a psychologist who is a doctor, who probably wants to say like never drink, but she's she's realistic. She's being real because that's it's a silly thing to tell people, never drink. Right? So I I liked that approach as well because it felt more it made more sense to me, I guess. Because I know when people feel bad, they want to feel good.

Speaker 3:

And how do you get there? It's gonna take a lot more than when you already feel happy. So anyway, I just wanted to share that because I was surprised in two different cases, two different therapists kinda told me the same thing because I was like, yeah, I do drink. And they're like, do you smoke? And I was like, no.

Speaker 3:

And we kind of dive into the psychology of why do you drink? Because again, you know, when you're in therapy, you're talking about all your emotions, the good ones, the bad ones. And I just found that fascinating to hear from them.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. It absolutely is. I mean, I say, like, don't pour alcohol over stress or anxiety or whatever. And, I mean, there's multiple levels to what to that concept. Like, what you said there is one of them.

Speaker 2:

Another is that it yeah. You're gonna drink more also that it trains yourself that that's how you use alcohol as a coping mechanism instead of celebratory, so your brain is now recognizing it in those instances. And then as we all know, like, it magnifies the problem either in the moment by making stupid decisions or the next day just being chemically altered in a way that anxiety is gonna be higher. Your problems aren't gonna go anywhere. They're just gonna be there with you in a lower state to deal with them.

Speaker 2:

So, like, yeah, it's, like, such not a good idea to use it in that capacity. Definitely celebrate. Celebratory is more, of a constructive way of if you're gonna drink, do it in most cases.

Speaker 3:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

So I wanna talk to you before we go a little bit about your thoughts on mommy wine culture. And, you know, I don't know all the history or your interactions to share, but I know you have some thoughts on that. Can you share that?

Speaker 3:

I mean, I feel like I feel like this is gonna change as my daughter gets older. But because I'm not really in the space of, like, having friends where, let's just say we're all going to a soccer game and all the moms have wine in their water bottles. That's something that I've heard from some of my friends who have older kids. And I don't know how I feel about it. I I actually was telling my husband because Halloween is on a Friday.

Speaker 3:

I feel like when I do things with my daughter, that's like never a situation for me to drink. So I feel kind of the opposite about that. Instead of like trying to get through like a soccer game or whatever event it is or like they're having a play. I personally feel like that's not the time and place to drink. I'm definitely more of an at home drinker.

Speaker 3:

And it's interesting because a lot of people are social drinkers, but I think that puts me in a different it's dangerous to me. Right? I'm even if I'm having one, what's the point of that if it slightly alters me in any way and I have to take my daughter home? So I I very much like don't like to do that in any sort of social setting, especially not with my daughter. But I also know that a lot of my friends will bring all the kids over to one house and the way the women are all having wine and the kids are all having fruits and all sorts of snacks.

Speaker 3:

And I also feel like that's not the best either because at some point, they're gonna be like, oh, mommy just drinks wine. And then the teacher is gonna be like, mommy's drinking wine every day. I feel like there's so many again, it's very nuanced. But I also know that some women because of whatever the situation is, I'm in a different situation because my husband and I are both very hands on with my daughter. Some women are the sole like they have to work and they're doing their remote work.

Speaker 3:

Then they also have to do everything else around the house and also take care of the kids like the drop offs, the pickups, the lunches, all of that. And I feel like that insurmountable amount of stress and responsibility will cause women to drink. And so that's why, you know, the two glasses of wine turns into three, turns into four, turns into the whole bottle. And it's like the nightly ritual to just unwind. And I feel like going back to what we were talking about earlier, it's just not the best way to alleviate the stress because it's just gonna cause more issues and chemical imbalances and more problems.

Speaker 3:

And you're waking up exhausted feeling terrible when you have to do all of that again. So as much as I am non like, I really like the nonjudgmental approach. I feel like for me, it just isn't doesn't make sense for even me right now because my daughter wakes up so early. So even on days that I do drink, I'm like, oh, I better like I have to get to bed still somewhat early. And if there's like a dinner that I'm going to, I'm like, please let me be in bed by eleven at the latest.

Speaker 3:

Because if she's waking up at five, that's six hours to actually lay down. But you know you're not sleeping for the full time that you're actually in bed. And I just start to think about how terrible I'm gonna feel. So I have made more decisions to not feel terrible at five in the morning when she comes and wakes up and says, mommy, I have to pee. I'm like, okay.

Speaker 3:

Like, I'm up. You know? Like, I don't wanna feel awful and I don't want to affect my sleep too terribly much. So I do things like some of the advice you've had in previous podcast episodes of, you know, wait. Don't drink three to four hours before you go to sleep.

Speaker 3:

Like, let it process through your body. That's a really I think that that's super super important because when you're drinking thirty minutes before you lay down, absolutely you're gonna wake up two to three hours later. You're gonna have to go to the bathroom and you're probably gonna have like, you're gonna feel it and it's gonna keep you up when you do wake up and it's just terrible sleep. So if you let it process through your body before bed, I mean, it gives you it's like a night and day difference. So I feel like there's smart ways to drink if you're going to drink.

Speaker 3:

And it's like, it we kinda like game the system a little bit, but there is a science to it. It's like anything. Like, why would you drink a soda before bed? It's similar in that.

Speaker 2:

No. Everything that you said there is just like you have a lot of self awareness around what works for me right now and the kinda, like, environments that I put in and put myself in. Yeah. Because, like, for some people, I think that those those circles can work just fine. You know, you come in.

Speaker 2:

It's maybe celebratory. It's the once a week drink, and you all kinda, like, connect. Like, there's just so many dynamics where it could be where it could be positive or it could be negative, and I think everybody has their own opinion. And for you, it sounds like you just know what you want and what you don't want, and and I think that's amazing. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Well, let me ask you this before we go. I wanna ask you for for you and your journey. How do you define what balance is for you now?

Speaker 3:

I think balance for me now has been less drinking days and keeping track of them. Holding myself accountable, not feeling bad on days like if I chose to drink on a Tuesday instead of a Friday, like not feeling bad about that and just knowing that I've like swapped the days out. But the balance is really feeling good and also just being aware of how much I'm drinking because we've talked about not even having that awareness. And I think for me knowing is probably the biggest aspect that Sunnyside has opened my eyes to and then working towards lowering how much I'm drinking. So I think that that's kind of the balance at this point is it's not just, you know, oh, I only had one drink.

Speaker 3:

It's like, no, I know I'm only gonna have one drink and I'm gonna stick to it and I'm gonna hold myself accountable. And if I have two drinks, then I'm gonna lower it another day that I plan to drink and make up for it almost. And it kind of just balances out the goal that I had for myself each week because I keep it on a week to week basis. Because some weeks, there's multiple things happening. Some weeks, there's nothing happening.

Speaker 3:

And so it just kind of depends on the situation. And sometimes it depends on the deal that comes in. I'm like, okay. We're having drinks tonight, I think. Brilliant.

Speaker 2:

Hey. If you ask me, that sounds like amazing balance. So well, thanks for sharing today. Thanks for coming on. You know, before we go, I'm I keep saying that.

Speaker 2:

But before we go, I wanna ask, is there anything that you're working on that you're you're allowed to talk about, that you're excited about? And then, you know, where people, if they wanna learn more about you or reach out and thank you or or have any questions where they can go?

Speaker 3:

Well, you can always find me on Instagram. In particular, that's where you should DM me because I do not check TikTok DMs, But I am on TikTok and Instagram and I'm very I I actually had time blocked out almost every day to message back on Instagram because it's always been important for me to connect and make sure I check the DMs and the requests. So I would say, you can always message me over there. I will respond to every message unless it's spam or very rude. Those are like the two.

Speaker 3:

Then I'm like, okay. I'm not gonna respond to those. And I don't have anything big that I'm working on. I just I'm in a great place right now. I it's so interesting because so many times people ask me like, are you gonna come out with a line?

Speaker 3:

Are you writing a book? Are you doing all these things? And I just really like where I'm at. I feel balanced in almost everything that I'm doing and I have a really good workflow and time blocks and I just feel like I'm in a great place. So nothing crazy large but all the work I do is just so fun, and I just feel like I'm in a good place.

Speaker 2:

Sounds great to me. Well, I love it. Thanks for sharing today. And, yeah, anybody interested, make sure to reach out to Adam. Thank you.

Speaker 1:

Journey to the Sunnyside is brought to you by Sunnyside, a personalized science backed program that's already helped over 500,000 people cut out more than 24,000,000 drinks. No matter where you are on your journey to build healthier drinking habits, Sunnyside meets you where you are. And now with Sunnyside Med, you can access compounded naltrexone, a doctor prescribed medication proven to reduce cravings and prevent binge drinking, giving you the peace of mind you need to make lasting change. If you could benefit from drinking a bit less, head on over to sunnyside.co for a free fifteen day trial.