58. Conversations with a Dad, Sean Radvansky

What is After Hours with Dr. Sigoloff?

Welcome after after hours with Dr. Sigoloff. This is a place where Dr. Sigoloff can share some of his thoughts and ideas with you. Dr. Sigoloff is a board certified Family Physician and he has been practicing medicine for almost a decade. Dr. Sigoloff is a Doctor of Osteopathy and therefor he has a slightly different approach to medicine. He likes to get to discuss the heart of the issue so that you can be better informed.
[e-mail]

Nurse Kelly: Welcome
to after Hours with Dr.

Sigoloff, where he can share
ideas and thoughts with you.

He gets to the heart of the issue
so that you can find the truth.

The views and opinions expressed
are his and do not represent the US

Army, d o d, nor the US government.

Dr.

Sigoloff was either off duty
or unapproved leave and Dr.

Sigoloff was not in uniform at the time.

Of recording now to Dr.

Seg.

Sam Sigoloff: Well,
thank you for joining me.

Again.

I wanna thank all the Patreon supporters.

I have a pandemic reprimand.

Level tier where they donate
$17 and 76 cents a month.

And I want to thanks Sam
and Angela Sheey and Perry.

There's been a $10 custom level that's
been made by Kevin and by Katie.

I wanna thank you two.

And we also have a $5 level where
people are donating what they can.

$5 a month.

It's the refine, not burned , and
Joe and PJ are helping with that.

I.

Truly thank you all for all the help
that you've been giving and everybody

who's been giving to our give and go.

My wife and I truly appreciate that
it's, we have spent over $60,000 in

lawyer's fees, so we do appreciate
every penny that that comes in

and all the prayers that come in.

Today I have a special guest.

His name is Sean Red Mansky.

He works for Cisco.

He's a sales service sales specialist.

And well, I wanted to bring him on to
talk because he saw a particular need.

, he, he saw a niche a group that
wasn't being talked to, that didn't

have any sort of, you know, coaching
or, or help or just community.

And so he started a podcast and it
was the dad conversation podcast.

And the whole idea of this, I love this
idea, is that he wanted dads that are

in business or in some sort of work
encouraging other dads with how they.

And how they balance that life,
you know, life work balance.

And I was able to listen to a
few of us podcasts and they're,

they're just really, really good.

And I wanted to have you on.

So, so Sean, how are things going for you?

Sean Radvansky: Oh man, good to be here.

And I just wanna say I
love your podcast, Sam.

I've had the pleasure of listening
to probably at least 30 episodes

and you've taught me a ton and
done, just done great work.

Like exposing facts and stories
that you wouldn't get anywhere else.

And you're a guest have been incredible.

You know, tons of military service
members, doctors, attorneys, veterans.

I'm really honored to
be here and invited on.

Sam Sigoloff: Thank you so much.

Well, I, I really love what you're
doing cuz this is what it's about.

It's when you see a need and you do it
right, like you, you see a problem and

you're like, well, you know, I feel like
men need more coaching because in society

the dad has been the butt of the joke.

You know, the dad's a bumbling idiot.

And I think that's one of the
things you actually say in your

intro is Dad has always been made
this bumbling idiot and that.

How dads are supposed to be.

Yeah, because we're , we're part of
the family that keeps the whole thing.

I mean, and, and moms too.

They keep the whole family.

Sean Radvansky: Totally.

Yeah.

Better, better together.

But yeah, that, that was the,
the gist of why I started.

It really is like, I love
listening to podcasts.

I've learned so much from all
kinds of people on various

topics at a deeper level.

And you can't really get that
type of quality discussions on any

subject without going to podcasts.

And so I was also, while, while being
an avid podcast listener for years, Feel

like I've got a tremendous network of
amazing people, many of whom are dads.

I know there's awesome people out there,
but in movies and tv, like you said,

it's just they're always the punchline,
like some kind of neanderthal loser

and or they're soft and whiny and.

You know, effeminate or
they're toxic or you know, just

some kind of somehow broken.

And so I was like, there's rarely
a courageous, hardworking, fatherly

role model out there in the media.

So As much as, I don't wanna admit it,
I think that the TV and movies and pop

culture like influences society quite a
bit and changes the way we think and act.

And so I was like, I want to just
spotlight like normal, successful, good,

interesting people who also happen to
be dads and here like, tell me, tell me.

Your career.

First off, it's like, like if you
were having dinner with somebody

at work, you're like, so, you know,
you're talking career stuff and like,

so tell me a little about your life.

Like, where'd you grow up, what'd you do?

What are your, you know,
what are your hobbies?

And then, you know, at the end,
kinda tell me a little bit about

your approach to being a dad.

Like, what, what are some things
you think you're doing well?

What, what's some lessons you
learned from your dad if applicable?

And how are you?

You know what?

Just trying to get a little bit of
tips from, from various dads out there.

So it's been really cool and
one of the, one of the most

fun projects I've ever done.

Sam Sigoloff: Yeah.

That, that's amazing.

So let's, let's get into a bit.

So let's pretend like I'm you and
you're, you're on your own show.

So tell us a little bit about yourself.

Sean Radvansky: Ooh.

So I am a father of six.

I have an amazing wife, and we
are living in the sort of excerpts

of Raleigh, North Carolina.

And I am a salesperson at Cisco Systems.

Also love Brazilian Jujitsu.

My, my kids are into wrestling and
dance and yeah, just Grateful to be

grateful to be alive in this country.

And at this time.

Sam Sigoloff: And on a personal
note, how did you get your kids at

what age and how did you get them
interested in Brazilian jutia or bj?

Sean Radvansky: They
started doing it when?

When I started, and then.

When we had a wrestling program
open up like a, there's like a youth

wrestling program that's sort of a
club near the, that's at the high

school gym on a couple nights a week.

We wanted to get them involved.

I, I wish I wrestled when I was a
kid because all my friends who are

wrestlers are just successful, like
strong, hard working people, and they

always talk about how helpful it was.

So I thought, Man, I, I might have missed
out, but I want to expose my kids to it.

And they, you know, I practic was
like, Hey, this is gonna be tough,

you know, everybody says it is hard
hard workouts and one-on-one battles.

But anyway, they, they've really taken
to it and, and like it, so all three

of my boys are, are into wrestling.

Sam Sigoloff: And what ages did you start
them or were they, when they started?

Sean Radvansky: They started jujitsu about
four years ago, so they would be, they

would've been like eight, six, and four.

And and then they started
wrestling last year, so, yeah.

Sam Sigoloff: Yeah, I think what's amazing
about that is you see so many people

who do, they're such high function,
high functions, and high producers.

And they, those types of men typically do
some sort of physical sport, some sort of

competitive sport like Brazilian Juujitsu.

I mean, if you look at Juco Willin
and a lot of the guests that he have

on, he has on, they, they tend to do
that, and it's what are some of the

principles that you're learning from that?

Because it seems like that
particular activity, you know,

prepares your mind and your body.

If I'm not.

.
Sean Radvansky: Yeah.

Well, I'll give you one example.

Yesterday I went in for an MRI and they're
like, are you, are you claustrophobic?

Or, you know, does it worry
you or stress you out?

And I'm like, well, , I'm used to
having 250 pound man on, on top of

me smashing me, trying to choke me.

. So this will be great.

I mean, this is, this is chill.

But I would say lessons learned is just.

The importance of slowing down
and breathing everyone, you

know anyone who tries jujitsu?

Your first few months.

The key is just like, Hey,
slow down and breathe.

You know, when you get into a bad
spot or you're trying to go get an

advantage, it's like, relax a little
bit, keep breathing cuz you're gonna,

you know, if you burn yourself out.

In a, in a sprint at the beginning
of a marathon, you're, you're not

gonna do well on the back half.

That's a, I think that
applies to almost anything.

When I'm oftentimes my worst busiest days,
I'm, you know, you get into like a manic

state of crazy trying to get everything
done, and it's like, you know what?

Just need to stop and breathe.

Do some, you know, mental
and emotional exercises here.

Reset and prioritize and You can't,
sometimes you can't get everything

done, but just relaxing has been
something I've learned from jujitsu.

Also learned, it's more fun to be the
hammer than the nail, that's for sure.

The, the more it, you know, the more
tools that you pick up in your toolbox and

abilities you have, you can, you can relax
cuz you have more, like, more pieces of

the puzzle to kind of put things together.

But it gets really fun.

I mean, it's, I don't know, it's Yeah,
say those are the highlights for me of it.

Sam Sigoloff: And have you noticed a
change in your boys, in their their

bravery, their courage, their strength,
their, their ability to face more

difficult subjects than their peers?

Not just physically, but
maybe even scholastic?

Sean Radvansky: Yeah, I think the.

Toughening up and being more resilient
has been a, a big focus in our family

over the last probably three years.

And I think that jujitsu and wrestling
have played key roles in that, you know,

seeing that, hey, this is gonna be hard,
you know, we're gonna go and try your

absolute best and you still might lose,
but you know, you're, you're tough.

You're not a quitter.

Let's go.

Come on, you got this.

How bad do you want it?

You know?

And like, like we had a Saturday we, we
had a jujitsu tournament and I remember

my son, he's like doing really well.

He's in a, in a bottom position on.

Somebody's mounted over him
and he's working on escapes

and avoiding submission.

He's trying to hit his own submissions
and I was like, looking at the

clock, I'm like, you have 45 seconds.

You know, you're down by two points.

Now's the time.

How bad do you want it?

You want to go?

And it's like He started pushing and, and
kept trying to kick it into another gear.

He didn't actually succeed in his
goal, but like I was proud of him

just cuz I know how exhausting it is.

When you're, you've been giving
it your best and then the clock

is running low, but you just keep
trying for a little bit more.

So super proud of him to, you
know, stand up at the end.

Exhausted about to fall over
because he had given it his best.

And that's the kind of lessons that you
can learn in a variety of applications.

But certainly I think jujitsu
and wrestling are, are good

ways to foster that development.

Sam Sigoloff: It's a very physical
description of a, of a mental idea,

I guess is, is a way to put it.

Yeah.

It, it shows you physically what
you should be doing mentally.

Is the discipline you have to have for it.

Yeah.

I love the idea of it.

Sean Radvansky: Yeah, it was, and
one other thing that I thought

was a cool story tied to Saturday
that relates to parenting.

So.

The boys.

I, I was really proud of all three of 'em.

Like we, we grapple a lot
with just the three of us.

They've trained at a
couple different places.

But this was for all of
us, our first competition.

And so they're, they're geared
towards like, you know, survive,

escape, put on, you know, their
own submissions, but they've never.

Even paid attention or known what
the point system is about and

like how that scoring points.

So they're, they're more
just kind of like freestyle

grapplers, I guess you could say.

So anyway they're
getting behind on points.

You know, they won some
matches, lost others.

And but none of 'em got submitted.

I was proud of that.

I was like, that's awesome.

Good for you.

But they, you know, when, when you do
lose to somebody, whether it's your

first match or you win a couple and
then lose, they're, they're devastated.

And unfortunately, we picked seats.

We found a seat right next to
the podium stage, which I wasn't

thinking ahead, you know dumb moment.

But we just see a constant stream all
day of people walking by and the winner

from each bracket gets a samurai sword.

, which is pretty sweet.

Wow.

I mean, the kids, all the kids get
samurai swords, so they're like,

they're all, all week going into it.

They're like, I wanna win.

I won that Samurai sword so bad.

And so all these kids walking by with
Samurai Swords, they're like, you

know, I'm on the verge of tears almost.

Just seeing like, oh, I wish I had one.

And then my, my seven year old
goes up, he's like, well, They sell

the Samurai Swords, it's only $40.

And he is like, and I've got $21.

Can, or can you just gimme 19?

I'll pay more than half.

And I want the Samurai sword.

It's gonna be cool.

And then you know, like an hour later,
his brother's his brother loses and,

and he's just devastated cuz again he's
really good and he almost won the match.

And, and so my seven year old's thinking
like, man, we gotta cheer him up,

you know, we gotta cheer up James.

And so he's.

We, let's go get him a sword.

We need to buy him a sword.

And so I'm glad he wants to help out
his brother, but we were like, I was

like, all right, let's huddle up guys.

All three of 'em, like, listen, swords
are cool, but swords are for winners.

You know, like if you, if we
buy this sword, I hope that it.

Is makes you feel embarrassed that
you bought it rather than earned it.

And I was like, here's what I'll do.

I thought about it for a second.

I was like, I'll buy you the sword
on the condition that you come back

next year and do your absolute best.

And if you win, you earn a sword and then
you give away the one that we bought.

But I hope all year long, this is
like a reminder that I tried, I

worked hard, but I wasn't, I didn't,
I didn't win, didn't earn it.

You know what I mean?

It's like, I don't, I don't, I'm
not a fan of participation trophies.

Just showing up and not, not quitting
through something that's relatively

easy, but like, I wanna reward success.

So anyway, we talked about it and
they were like, you know what?

Good idea.

I don't want the samurai sword.

I want to come back and
earn my own next year.

And I was like, hell yes.

I was happy that they didn't feel
like I was forcing 'em on it.

They, they thought about it
like, yeah, I want to earn it.

I was like, good, good for you.

They're they're way, I, I was, I feel
like I was a wist when I was their age.

And they are, they're, they're
becoming really strong, which I'm

proud of and grateful for sports and
all the lessons that come with it.

. Yeah.

I'm seeing just black for you.

But, but at least

Sam Sigoloff: we can keep talking
without having that corruption.

Okay.

So you, you were saying, I don't know
how, how long you were going on about

buying the sword for his brother?

For the older brother?

Sean Radvansky: Yeah.

And yeah, not I just told him I was.

Look, swords are for winners.

You know, this is, we don't
do participation trophies.

We have, whenever they get a
participation trophy from like a

soccer team or, or whatever, it's
like we go home and throw 'em away,

, because he didn't earn anything.

You know, just by showing up
and participating in something

easy doesn't get you something.

So they did get medals.

You know, two of the boys
got medals for getting on the

podium, but not first place.

And I was like, samurai swords
are for first place, dude.

We're not buying it.

So I.

I'll buy it for you if, if you come
back next year, do your absolute best.

And then if you, as long as
you win next year, you give

away the one that you bought.

But I hope that every day when you see
this samurai sword, you kind of hate

it and you feel embarrassed to have it
because you didn't earn it and it, it's

a symbol of earning something, you know?

So I think that's, anyway amazing.

Sam Sigoloff: Maybe I think it's a dad.

Sorry.

Sean Radvansky: Go.

Yeah, I kind of debate.

I'm like, maybe I'm too much
of a hard ass on these kids.

But at the same time I'm like, I
just think society in general is like

trying to cater to everyone's feelings.

And in the moment I felt
like tremendous pressure.

Like, ah, just get 'em a sword.

Like man, they're all beat
up and like sad right now.

And they're, they're down in the dumps.

But I was like, man, they should
be like, they, they gave their all,

they just tried so hard on this.

Tournament like you, it's physically
and emotionally exhausting.

And like, I was like tearing
up just watching them compete,

which doesn't happen often.

I've never shed a tear while they
were doing jiujitsu, you know,

even if they get hurt or something.

But like, just the, so proud of them
going out there and giving it everything.

So it's, it's an emotional day and
like you don't, it doesn't go your way.

Like of course you're gonna
feel tremendous emotion,

but don't, don't optimize.

Helping their emotions in the moment.

Like I'm trying to build a resilient
child who grows up to be a strong

man and a force for good, and I don't
want to short change that future by

catering to their needs in this moment.

You know?

I mean, that's really
like parenting, right?

You don't give the toddler everything
they want because it's not good for them.

I

Sam Sigoloff: think that that's
a great thing that you're doing.

It sounds like for the non dads out
there, that sounds really harsh.

I'm.

Yeah, that's, that's for winners son.

But, but truly that, that's so good
because that's the difference between,

I think you and I are similar age to
many kids and, and men just slightly

younger than us, is they received
participation in trophies and, and I

think our age, they were starting to
give out participation trophies, but I

think when, at least when I was going
playing different sports, which I didn't

play a lot of sports growing up, but
when I got those participation trophies,

it's like, yeah, yeah, everybody get.

you know, I think nowadays it's like,
Ooh, I got a participation trophy.

Look how great this is.

And I think that's good that
we have dads saying, no winners

get that you can be a winner.

Two weeks.

What

Sean Radvansky: did you do?

You, you showed up on a Wednesday night
for an hour for, for eight or 12 weeks

and, and like had a Gatorade break every
10 minutes and barely broke a sweat

some nights, like, and you get a trophy.

Like, and I'm glad that my, my, my
boys are as soon as we explained the

absurdity of participation trophies,
like they think it's awesome.

They love like dunking their
participation trophy in the trash can.

When we get home, they, they're
like, yeah, this is stupid.

You know, like they're, they're
becoming molded to be more

achievement outcome oriented.

Sam Sigoloff: Yeah, cuz there's, there's
the old saying that second place is first

place winners, which sounds harsh and
it, and it, it is, but it also gives you

something to look forward to, to be like,
there's always gonna be someone better.

And whoever wins is the one
who puts the most work into it.

And I think that's one of
the most important things in

life is teaching your kids.

It doesn't matter how smart you are, it
doesn't matter how strong you are, it

matters how hard you're willing to work.

Yeah.

For

Sam Sigoloff: sure.

Cause I'm sure you had, I'm sure you
had people you grew up with that were

really smart, maybe smarter than you,
but what are they doing in their life?

Like there's plenty of kids I went
to middle school, high school with

that were much smarter than me.

They were much more wealthy than I was,
but they didn't work as hard as I did.

And that was the defining moment.

Sean Radvansky: Sure.

And, and on the flip side, like I can
see people where part of me would think,

man, that's not necessarily the brightest
person I've ever come across, but they

are running circles around me and everyone
else because they just get after it.

And that is like, so admirable.

Sam Sigoloff: And especially if,
let's say a child has some sort of

learning disability, which thank God
my children were, were not I guess

blessed with dyslexia like I was.

, if that's a blessing, but I mean, it
is, gives you different outlook on life.

Some people go hard one way or the other,
you know, they, they give up and they,

they just kind of tank on the whole thing.

But what it did for me was
it made me work even harder.

And I, and I think that was a blessing
that God gave me was the dyslexia, cuz it,

it made me work 10 times harder than what
it seemed like everyone else was doing

because, you know, Going as fast as I
can and still just barely keeping up with

everybody, but that paid off as an adult.

Sean Radvansky: Totally.

I, you could correct me on this, but I
wanna say sometime in the last year I

learned that people with dyslexia are
statistically far more likely to either

be in prison or become a Fortune 500 ceo.

Like it's like five times higher
chances than anyone else , to

go into either of those.

So, like you said, strong
inclination one way or the other.

Yeah,

Sam Sigoloff: but I think that
kind of reflects what I was saying.

It's like you go hard
one way the other way.

Yeah.

You go hard giving up and just giving up
at life, or you go hard at working harder

to try and get where you want to be.

Sean Radvansky: And I feel like
that's the balance right there

really of like parenting when.

You, you want to help the kids
become resilient and o and you

develop resiliency by going through
challenges and bouncing back.

And you want to, you know, create
diamonds through pressure, but you

don't want to put so much pressure
that they crack, you know, before

they're a fully fledged diamond.

And so it's like that balance of.

Trying to help them get through something
hard without having them feel like there's

no chance for success and they just
want to fall apart and, oh, whoa is me.

And so it's like sometimes we go too
hard, sometimes not, not hard enough, but

it's it's something I'm grateful to have.

You know, my wife is my companion
and, and sort of team up and share

ideas and, and think through like,
Hey, eh, that time maybe we over.

That time we, we, you know, wasn't, we
didn't really get the right outcome.

We were looking for wasn't a
positive experience in any way or,

you know, that time we nailed it.

But you know, it's just a
balance of constantly trying.

But like goal is I want
'em to be resilient.

I want them to be able to get through
hard things and develop a sense of

pride and accomplishment because,
The what am I proud of in my life?

It's like the hard things I did, you know,
it's not the things that were given to me.

I'm proud of the, the
hard things I got through.

Right.

I'd

Sam Sigoloff: like to explore
a little bit cuz you have, you

said you had six children, which
is just mind blowing to me.

I think that's amazing and I don't
know if I could handle that cuz.

My personal experience is when
our daughter came out, like the

moment sh they, the doctor handed
me to her or handed her to me.

I guess they're not gonna
hand me to my daughter here.

Hold, hold over your father?

No.

Like in my mind, cuz I wanted six kids,
but the moment they handed her to me

instantly I went, wow, I don't have time.

I don't know what happened in my
time, but now I know it's divided

twice as much as it was before.

And I don't wanna get so much into the
balance of life, but I wanna get into

dividing or figuring out each child.

Cuz some children, they
need more pressure.

Some children, you know, you,
like you said, you'll crack 'em

if you put too much pressure.

And having six that I'm sure every single
one of 'em needs a different amount of,

of pressure just to get that right spot.

How, how, how have you balanced that?

How have you figured that out?

Sean Radvansky: You know, that's,
Ongoing responsibility and, and

opportunity for Susan and I to just
constantly be trying to figure that out.

You know?

They're, they are, like you say,
they're all, they're very, they're each

individuals and have their own needs.

Like there's definitely a, a family
culture that we have that they all kind of

have their own place in, but individual.

Some are alike in some ways, but
like for sure, they're all their

own little person and their own.

They have their own little sort of
incentive reward systems in their

mind and the way that they just go
about life and ask questions and

want to talk or share this or that.

So I.

I think Susan and I are one of, one
of the things we, we've done well

is that we're always trying, trying
new things, trying to get better.

Sometimes trying means we did
just enough to keep everyone alive

today, depending on the day.

You know, it's we certainly, I, I
don't want to pretend like we are any

role models out there by any means.

We're, we're we're trying to figure it
out and just, you know, take care of 'em

and, and pour into 'em as much as we can.

But I don't think I have any sage
advice necessarily on that topic.

Like,

Sam Sigoloff: well, I think just, you
know, you, how you mentioned that you

and your wife work together on this.

Cuz there's times where I.

Let me rephrase that.

There's many times I don't see how
I'm acting and I'm sure you, you've

had this where you're like, you're too
rough or you're too, not physically,

but just you're too tough on 'em.

You're too easy on 'em and you can't
see it from the outside cuz you're,

you're doing it and that's where it's
really good to have, you know, a spouse.

Have your, have your wife come along and
say, Hey, that was, that was a bit much.

A hundred percent they have you wrapped
around their, their little finger.

You need to, you need to toughen
up on 'em just a little bit.

Cuz you know, I've certainly had.

. Sean Radvansky: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's, that's one thing.

I agree with you 100% because we
don't, you know, we all, we have our

own view, our own lens of looking at
the world, and it's really helpful

when one spouse can turn to the
other and, and say, here's what I've.

Observed and, and you know, from
this angle, what do you think?

And you're like, you know what?

I was, I didn't, I
didn't actually see that.

And so that happens both
directions with us regularly.

And you know, one of the things
recently is like our, we're a lot more

lenient now on our, like toddlers.

You know, the two younger girls are.

Four and two we're, we're so much
more lenient with them than we were

with the older kids, because after
a while we finally learn like, look,

they're just, they're just so little,
you know, like you can't expect them

to be able to do certain things.

But then sometimes we go a little too
far where I'm like, look, this little two

year old thinks she owns the house and
we can't cater to her, to the point where

we, we give her everything she wants.

You know, we, let's start drawing a line.

You know, alright.

You're, you're not, you are literally
ruining the entire moment for

everyone and you're gonna go sit
in your crib for a little bit until

you're ready to rejoin society.

And you know, sure enough, like 45
seconds later she's like, I'm all better.

I'm ready.

And like, all sweet.

And it's like, okay, cool.

Well, you know, as a reminder to me
that we kind of got away from the

basics, like, you know, letting her go
a little too far and you know, ruining

every kind of family moment there is.

Sam Sigoloff: Yeah.

One thing that, and, and you and
I can talk about this at different

time, you know, offline or
something, but we noticed a huge

difference when we changed our diet.

There was a lot less tantrums,
there was a lot less meltdowns,

there was significantly less,
like there was a market change.

And you know, when encourage
moms and dads out there listening

to this to go listen to my, any
episode that has chewing the fat.

It talks about diet and you know, it may
be mostly directed towards fertility or

mostly directed towards this or that, but
the principles of it still are important.

And the outcome is still, you know, you
still get strong kids from strong food.

That's how I sell it to my
kids, is of each strong food.

You get strong, you eat
weak food, you get weak.

Okay, well, I don't want to eat weak food.

I wanna be strong, you know?

Sean Radvansky: Yeah, we're we're
right now incorporating more.

Meat into the kids' diets
than we have previous.

I think they've always got, had like
enough from traditional standards,

but incorporating more and, and
Susan and I have been eating, I'd say

primarily, Meat based for the last
couple months and definitely feel,

feel better and in, in several ways.

So we're working on that and I would give
credit to you, you know, one, one more of

many nuggets picked up from your podcast.

Sam Sigoloff: Yeah.

And if anybody's looking for
more information on that, I

encourage you to go look at Dr.

Ken Barry, board certified
family physician.

He's on YouTube.

I learned a lot from him.

And you know, of course he
wasn't my only source, but.

Learned from him and then did my own
research and, and when you think about it,

like what did people eat 10,000 years ago?

We should probably be eating that
because that's what kept our ancestors

alive to bring us here today.

And nowadays there's diabetes, obesity,
hypertension, all these problems.

Let's go back to what we used to eat.

So I'm glad you're seeing improvement.

I'm glad you're, you're trying
those changes, you know, it's

not a huge jump all in for kids.

It's, it's a slowly slow change over time.

Yeah.

Sam Sigoloff: Growing up, what kind
of sports or activities did you do

and how did your dad's interactions
with you influence you today?

Sean Radvansky: I grew up, did
a little bit of, I don't know

what, where this martial art was
from, but it was called tongs.

I think that was the only, you know,
school within five miles of our

house that was like martial arts.

So it was like karate, I think.

I don't even know, maybe it was a
branch of karate, but that was cool.

You know, after doing jujitsu, it's funny,
I look at that and it's silly because

it's like these like forms and like.

You know, technique.

If 30 people try to attack you, then
you take three steps left, punch,

punch, punch, , you know, turn.

It's like, it seems absurd now,
but at the time I thought I was

a little ninja, you know, wearing
a GE and a belt and whatever.

Did that for, I don't know, a year or
two and then played a lot of baseball.

I was actually like, Pretty good at
baseball for a few years and I wound up

getting hit by a pitch, like three pitches
in a row and pretty much never recovered

from that with my confidence at the plate.

So my baseball career came to an end
in in early or late elementary school.

What, what did you say?

Sam Sigoloff: Where did you get hit?

Head, chest,

Sean Radvansky: arm.

I think I took one to the helmet.

And then I don't recall the other two.

I'm, I would, I'm guessing
leg or side, or, I don't know.

But yeah, I, I don't even know how I could
possibly get hit three times in a row.

That's pretty embarrassing.

I bet if

Sam Sigoloff: we, I bet if we
talked to that guy who threw those

pitches, he'd probably say, man,
I, I never played again after that.

Sean Radvansky: I don't know.

. Yeah, that'd be funny.

But my dad he coached my little
league baseball team one year.

But my, my dad actually had to He
did not ever have like consistent,

stable or high paying employment.

He was typically working multiple jobs
and The only way to even like, I wouldn't

even say get ahead, but just like pay
off some of the overdue bills was like

take on extra, you know, jobs and just
trading hours for a little bit of dollars.

So he was honestly gone like a lot.

And I had the opportunity to work with
him a few times, like doing little

construction jobs like on the weekends.

I remember when I was like 12, he's
like, Hey, come with me on the job site.

You know, we're doing vinyl
siding somewhere or, or whatever.

And it is like, You know, back
then he would be like $20 a day.

Just kind of, you know, I'll give
you random little things to do and

clean up the job site and go hand,
hand me stuff, you know, be a gopher.

And I remember it being like miserable,
you know, in, in the summer heat working

on the job site, not eating or drinking.

You know, my favorite foods
not in the air conditioning.

I was like, This sucks.

Like I am getting straight A's because
I don't want any part of manual labor.

You know, like I, I been there and done
that and I was like, I know my dad has

worked his tail off and routinely does
even, you know, in his thirties and

forties and and fifties, like, I want.

No part of that, I want to be, you know,
I was always a pretty decent test taker

and knew like, Hey, I've got a career,
and like, go to college and do something.

You know, use your, use your
mind and, and get ahead.

And so I feel, I feel like my dad
set an example of like always.

Like I, I feel like his thirties
and forties probably sucked.

Like realistically, I'm in my, you
know, mid thirties now, and it's

like I'm trying to enjoy and optimize
my life and take care of my family

and do hobbies like my dad's life.

He literally would get done with one job,
change clothes and go to another job.

And like I didn't see him much.

He was always gone.

And so like, that's admirable.

And, and I wish he had like taken
advice from others or networked

or tried to get a better job.

Cause I think he certainly could have,
he had the abilities, but that just

wasn't his like style or interest.

But he, you know, he made
sure we had food and we.

You know, he took care of the fam
his family by working his tail off

at, which I think is a lesson to me.

Like I, I knew from an early age
it was like, Hey, we're poor.

We're, you know, we're on welfare
and other assistance and stuff.

I don't wanna live like this.

You know?

So I feel like he, he, he taught
us through an example of how

to work and I knew early on
like, your, your work matters.

Sam Sigoloff: And that's one thing
that's really tough about being a

dad is to be around and to be in a
direct influence means you're not

at work being an indirect influence.

Cuz my, my dad, he worked hard to, and he,
you know, there was many weekends he was

off doing side side jobs and stuff and,
you know, I want one more time with him,

but he also taught me great work ethic.

So it's that balance of,
you know what I mean?

Sean Radvansky: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's hard to put in words.

I know what you mean.

Like, like the, the time that
you do get with them, you're

sometimes is, is working.

Like if you, the best way to spend
time with dad, for me, when I was

a kid was like, go work with him.

You know, cuz he was just working.

Or same thing with my uncles,
you know, like they're just,

they're just animals, man.

I feel like I'm, I'm so weak
compared to them in that generation.

Like they live to work.

And, and you know, Saturday's a
work day, just sometimes it's for.

Same, same projects you're doing
during the week, other times it's

it's a different project, but
you're, they're working nonstop.

But

to kind of

Sam Sigoloff: balance that too,
I think our generation has been

like, look, I wanna build my life
in a way that I can have my time

to do what I want, what I want.

You know, for some dads,
that's time with their kids.

For some dads that's doing
whatever they want to do.

But I've, I've certainly built
my life to where my family

is one of the most important.

and you know, like doing stuff after work.

If it's not with my family, I don't
really wanna be there doing it, you know?

Sean Radvansky: Yeah.

That and what a blessing that we
live in such a prosperous society

that many, many millions of, of.

Families can work reasonable work
hours and have time to pursue

interests and hobbies with your family.

You know, that's, that's something
that people haven't always had.

And so, yeah, it's like that
balance of, I, I saw my dad and

my uncles working like dogs.

And you know, I don't, I'm fortunate
that I, I work for a fantastic company.

I work a normal work week and I'm done.

I'm not even.

Usually I'm not stressed about work in
the evenings on any kind of regular basis.

I'm, I'm unplugged and straight
up with the family or, you

know, doing jujitsu or whatever.

But it's like a balance where
my kids see me have it so easy.

You know, like I go in my little office,
I'm, I'm on phone calls and emailing

and you know, talking to customers.

They, you know, they don't
see me working like I saw my,

my dad and my uncles working.

So it's like I have to consciously
think, how can I teach my kids hard

work when we've got it so, so cushy on,
you know, standing on the shoulders of

previous generations that have created
this prosperity and, and wealth and,

and all the benefits and privileges
we have living, living on the earth.

Right.

Sam Sigoloff: Now I heard you mention
you know, say, say certain key words

that kind of clued me into this.

And, and you and I have not
talked about this before, so I

dunno where this is gonna go.

It's interesting.

Is there any sort of religion or spiritual
aspect to your life that's important to

you, that you're trying to make important

Sean Radvansky: to your kids?

Yeah, totally.

We are acting practicing active
members of Church of Jesus

Christ, of Latter Day Saints.

So we are Christian and yeah, that's
like a big part of, of our lives.

And encourage the kids to come to church
with us and actively participate in,

you know, Spiritual conversations.

My wife's really good actually on like,
just even on the drive to school, you

know, she tries to like find a, a story
from the Bible or the Book of Mormon

and like teach a principal on the way
to, you know, dropping the kids off.

Or each night we try to have a.

Yeah, conversation and just talk
about principles or scriptures and

lessons learned and you know, a lot
of good videos on YouTube or old

talks and, you know, articles to read.

So definitely you know, faith in
Christ is a big part of our life.

Sam Sigoloff: I think that's great.

And just something that we had
done we haven't done so much

lately, but on YouTube, there's.

N this channel called Bible Project
and we would watch those in the

evenings with the kids and they
have a way of showing things.

And, and there's this one video in
particular where they have these

two different trees, the tree of
good and evil, and the tree of

the knowledge of good and evil.

And there's a good tree and it's,
you know, you can clearly see

it's a good tree by the light.

And when people eat it, they, they become
a tree that's another light giving tree.

And then there's this bad tree
that has dark light in it.

And if they eat from that,
they become a dark tree.

And it's, it's a really good way that
we've been able to, to help teach

our kids to understand these ideas.

It, they're hard to explain.

And, and like, let's say one, one of my
chi, one of my children is doing something

that's not so good and I, I can ask them,
which tree are you picking from right now?

It's that idea of Adam and Eve.

You know, they, yeah, they chose from
the wrong tree, but we do that every

day that that's a constant decision
you and I make every single day

is what tree am I gonna pick from?

The one that makes things better,
the one that makes things.

And that kind of puts it in
real terms where they, they

don't know what that means.

And I don't know what that means,
what tree am I picking from?

But it's a way they can physically
see something and see how well I

wanna pick from this other tree
that makes me a tree of light rather

than makes me a tree of darkness.

Sean Radvansky: That's
a good, a good example.

And we're, we're so
fortunate that there are.

Content creators who know how to
break things down for children.

And that's, you know, there's certain
channels where that's all they do is

cater towards, towards kids and Bible
stories and it's like, this is amazing.

You know, don't the cost of watching a
couple commercials for a few seconds, you

get a cool five or 10 minute video that.

Perfect for the kids.

Like they actually like enjoy it.

They look forward to when the new
videos come out a couple times a week.

It's like, this is, this is cool.

. There's a lot of things with society
right now where you think, like, it

feels like everything's falling apart,
but then at the, at the other time,

it's like other side of the coin.

You have to think like we have it so good.

And any, any wishlist from
someone who lived in the late

18 hundreds who like, you know,
what would you want in your life?

Like even person on welfare
in the United States.

You know, living in poverty had,
would have essentially everything

on the wishlist of someone from
a hundred or 150 years ago.

You know,

Sam Sigoloff: we are so
truly blessed right now.

And even, you know, the poorest among
the Americans are still in the top.

I think it's 1% of the world.

, .
Sean Radvansky: That's nuts.

Sam Sigoloff: It's, it's just amazing.

And how we have to push
those blessings out.

You know, we don't just keep them and
and hoard those blessings, but that's

one thing we're working on teaching our
kids too, is how can you bless others

because we've been blessed so much.

How can we be God's hands
and feet to go do his work?

Totally.

Sean Radvansky: Yeah,
that's we need to do that.

I mean, can't just, it's gonna be
a little bit embarrassing if we

talk to God after, after we die.

And he's like, so, gave you all those
tremendous resources and you lived a very

comfortable life with silk slippers and
You know, tell me about how you multiplied

the blessings on other people, you know,
and if we don't have much to share, that's

gonna be an embarrassing conversation.

So always trying to figure
out how can, how can we help?

Sam Sigoloff: Well, I think we're
getting close to probably time right now.

I mean, I really want to
thank you for coming on.

Is, is there a last few story or a thing
you wanna leave us with about that you,

that you've learned from doing this, this
podcast with dads to help dads, you know,

kinda like those content creators you
were talking about earlier with children,

but now you're doing it for, for dads.

And I think, again, I think that
is a wonderful little niche.

Sean Radvansky: Yeah.

I think that I learned.

Keep trying.

You know, there's so many different
ways to be dads to be a dad.

And I've talked, you know, it's been
awesome to go talk to people, dads from

all different types of backgrounds and.

, I, you know, I haven't heard anyone share
that They're like really disgruntled

about the way their dad raised them

So it's like a little
reassuring for me to hear.

Like, I think people generally,
they look back on their dad and

give them the benefit of the doubt.

And you know, I came away
with the impression we should.

Try our best.

Don't beat ourselves up about being
imperfect, you know, show love and,

and support and, you know, make sure
you have a positive relationship

with your kids and, and do your best.

That's really my, my takeaway.

And I, I do wanna say I before
I go first of all, thank you for

having me on, and I'm honored to be
in the presence of amazing people

who you've had on your podcast.

But I know a lot of, I would
guess a lot of your listeners

are probably in the military.

And so I just wanted to
say like, get the word out.

I think.

I read encourage anyone who's
looking to transition back into

civilian life to consider going into
tech working at a a tech company.

Great.

Career opportunities.

Again, you can go into operations,
finance, marketing, sales, you know,

hr, supply chain, like whatever
you, whatever you want to go into.

The background you have in
the military is helpful.

It's applicable.

There's skill bridge programs,
there's recruiters, like almost

every major tech company has.

Giant teams that focus on recruiting
directly from the military.

So I think it's one of those things.

It's so good, it's such a good
opportunity, but a lot of people

don't even know that it exists.

And so consider that there's
the, the earnings and work life.

Balance is un unparalleled
from anything else I've seen.

You know the opportunity to make
tremendous income, take care of your

family, have time for your family,
you know, working a, a 40 hour work

week and enjoying enjoying life.

So anyway, just wanted
to put that out there.

I'm, you know, if anyone's interested
in Cisco, I can connect you with

different folks recruiters there.

But there's certainly, you know, I'd just
say look into tech is a great opportunity.

Sam Sigoloff: Yeah.

And if you have any contact information,
I can put it in the description

below, like an email or something.

If you have an email you wanna put out.

Yeah.

And thank you.

Love to thank you for that.

Cuz many of these listeners may
be getting outta the military

sooner than they anticipated and,
and looking for a job that, yeah.

Sean Radvansky: That

Sam Sigoloff: the life balance they want
is that, that's, thank you for that hope.

Sean Radvansky: Yeah, there are exemptions
you can get in the private sector that

you can't get sometimes is what seems
like in, in the military right now.

So yeah.

Sam Sigoloff: Well, thank you Sean.

I truly appreciate your time.

It's been a wonderful conversation.

I hope to talk to you more in the future.

Sean Radvansky: Thanks so much, Sam.

Great to talk to you.

Sam Sigoloff: I wanna give a
special shout out to Shell Pace.

Thank you for your monthly support.

Just a reminder for everyone
out there in duty, uniform of

the day, the full armor of God.

Let's all make courage
more contagious than fear.