Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
Diagnosed with Complex Trauma and a Dissociative Disorder, Emma and her system share what they learn along the way about complex trauma, dissociation (CPTSD, OSDD, DID, Dissociative Identity Disorder (Multiple Personality), etc.), and mental health. Educational, supportive, inclusive, and inspiring, System Speak documents her healing journey through the best and worst of life in recovery through insights, conversations, and collaborations.
Do you know what that means? That means we are so safe. Do you know why? All this time, all this time, all of the trains bother everybody, annoy everybody. Not us because we can take our ears off at night, but Everybody else be annoyed as they won.
Speaker 1:And Not my fault they can hear. And, Really, I'm just thinking about how everybody everybody has different feelings about it. Sometimes we try to interview, and here comes the train. Sometimes, we try to sleep and don't bother us at all because guess what? Well, because at night our ears come off.
Speaker 1:And when our ears come off, the train can't even bother us nothing. If we had tried to work, sometimes some people hear it, sometimes people used to it by now. Only a problem for recording a interview. Another good solution for that. Let's just not do no boring interviews.
Speaker 1:Yep. That's what I think about that. But we had a whole adventure day. I'm a tell you about it. I was brushing my teeth, and I heard that train.
Speaker 1:And I thought, oh, man. I've never been so glad to hear a train. I was recording for if I can catch that sound. I like recording sounds. I want I I want you to have accessibility.
Speaker 1:If you have accessibility, you can hear the sounds I can hear if I wanna tell you about it. So I just mind my own business, brush my own teeth. Nice and shiny, clean, and good as new. Pretty good for old teeth that are falling out. Well, Sjogren's caused me problems.
Speaker 1:You know that's good trauma. Well, I wanna stay focused at it tonight. Here's what happened. Here's what happened. Are you ready for it?
Speaker 1:This morning, we just got black. We always gap. When we gap, we do what? We take a shower, get dressed, make some breakfast, go do some reading and some writing, getting kids ready. And all that's kind of what do you think, Like, a little a little bit boring except I'm confident for the breakfast.
Speaker 1:I like the breakfast. If I just if I just wanna know about the breakfast because somebody's gotta eat it. Might as well be me. Some days, if I get vote, I might have potatoes and onions and garlic and eggs. Other days, I might have German pancakes.
Speaker 1:You know how to make that is six eggs and a cup of flour and a cup of milk. Before you put in the pan, all you do is melt the butter in the pan while the oven warm up. And then when you cook that, you you get, like, butter soup with bread in it. It's good. It's real good.
Speaker 1:I eat mine with apple sauce. We like it. Sometimes if I sleep late, if she's if she's picking, I would just get toast with seeds in it. What's that? With the egg on top.
Speaker 1:When we live at Europe, we have beans on top. Australia. Australia, we had SpaghettiOs on top. I'm I'm not even I'm not even kidding you. Spaghetti right on the toast.
Speaker 1:That kind of breakfast is confused. I do like Vegemite. I'm a fan of the Vegemite. That's some good toast. That make that toast make you a man.
Speaker 1:But do you know this morning when our first our first one that goes to the bus at 06:30, he came out and rise. He came out. It said it said flood warning. It said the river is flooding. We like to walk out the river a lot.
Speaker 1:I mean, go there a lot. It's just down the hill from our house, and it has been a whole day. People are getting evacuated, and we went to the library and got books before they just flooded away. We said, what are the most important books we wanna save? And we check them all out.
Speaker 1:Me and the kids, we got all as many books as we could to save the books and also fun ones for reading. Yeah. Get bottled waters. It's not really good for the environment, but when the environment try to kill you, you I mean, that's even Steven. I don't I don't have a Steven, just so you know.
Speaker 1:But, also Also, then We got some groceries. We fill up downstairs refrigerator, upstairs refrigerator, garage freezer, all the things for all the all of the whole family. I can't let eight people starve. And we just we just watched the news. They canceled they canceled school and email us there's no school, which mean they have to work, which mean I get to do what I want all day.
Speaker 1:We watched some fantasties, and we watched them build a wall around the river walk, and we watch them wash it away. And we watch the water just eat up the roads and swallow up the houses. It's a scary day, but we are supposed to say put our house. It's at the top of the hill. Long as the hill stays here, we'll be okay.
Speaker 1:And I try not to stress about it. We can't ride our bike. We all got new bikes. None of us can ride our new bikes because the water is coming at us. The police has stayed in our house because we're at the top of the hill, and that's safer than going down.
Speaker 1:But people down already had to leave. Like, so where are they going? Where will they stay in this? At the churches. And I say, oh, man.
Speaker 1:Oh, man. This is a hell I'll die on. Except I I'm except not today. Because my therapist said whales, some of them can go very deep for a very long time. And that's the one precut at swimming.
Speaker 1:She said she's precut at floating. Also, we are all sick at this week, and our whole family all sick at this week. I'll make sure we have cat food. I'll make sure we have people food, and we have But just gonna be here a while. I walked down, make sure the bagel place is okay.
Speaker 1:We did some sandbags for that bagel place because it's my favorite. I really like it. Very worried about my post office, and I'm very worried about my Mexican food place. Because they said that's where the water is, and I thought, well, if someone mail me something nice. What if I just enjoy my very last my very last salsa?
Speaker 1:I'll say goodbye, salsa. He didn't throw chips out in the water, like throwing stones in Israel. You say, can I say it? They say. Also means, like, the senate or congress or something.
Speaker 1:I just I'm trying to just mind my own business, make some plans, make some latkes because I got 50 pound potato bag from the food bank. It isn't time for a honka. Also, no, it's time for it's time for a steam cold bear because Tay Tay gonna be there. And then girls, all of them, everybody's gotta watch. That final show tomorrow.
Speaker 1:And then also new document series. Every time we had a bad day, I had a bad day. I had a bad day. I don't know any more words than I talk. I had a bad day.
Speaker 1:Then we just watch miss Maracana give her some courage for it keep on going. And, also, I don't know how long it's saying god fight for it just gets tired of swimming upstream. They would just wanna float on home. Them kids are them kids are growing up. They they are driving.
Speaker 1:They're getting jobs. All the triplets got jobs, buying phones. I think I'm just gonna go hide in the woods. But not the forest with the waterfalls because it's gonna be underwater. You should see those trees breaking off and floating down the river.
Speaker 1:It's just a it's a lot scary. And, also, I'm okay. You can feel both things at the same time if you want. And then if you get scared, you can sing a little song, do a little dance, get down tonight. I think if you got teenagers, part of your job is just staying out of the way.
Speaker 1:Everybody's camping upstairs because we don't well, two reasons. One, I don't want them to drown, and two, I forgot how to use a sump pump. I don't need to yet, and I hope we don't gotta. But I want everyone to be safe while they're sleeping so everybody's everybody's upstairs and not just half of us upstairs. It's a lot of chaos out there.
Speaker 1:They said, turn around. Don't drown. Nobody wants to drown. Not even a whale. So I'm really glad we we got here on high ground.
Speaker 1:I'm really glad to hear the train sound because if the train is safe, I am safe. Because that's what I'm trying to tell you this whole time. The water is on the other side of the train. So if the train is still coming, it means there's lots of room for me to be okay, for me to be safe enough in flood time. Safe enough in flood time.
Speaker 1:So here, the train is very good news. That's what's important. And I can pretend maybe it's getting people out for safety. So it's even better news. And I bet when they got the chain, they'll say, I'm so glad you're safe.
Speaker 1:Here's some salsa. Enjoy that. I will be fantastic of them. Fantastic beasts.