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Wellbeing Wednesdays is a weekly podcast exploring what wellbeing means at West Virginia University. Listen to get to know more about the folks doing work on the ground at the university in addition to some light-hearted fun as we take a look at wellbeing in popular culture.
Hey everyone. Welcome, welcome, welcome to Wellbeing Wednesdays. My name is Courtney Weaver. I'm the director of WellWVU here at West Virginia University. And thank goodness today I do have a guest, uh, with me, which is great cuz you've just all heard me rambling by myself for the past couple of episodes.
Um, so I am joined today. By Maggie von Dolteren, and she is the Prevention Education Specialist with Title IX, which is housed within the Division of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion. So welcome Maggie, and if you would just take a couple seconds to introduce yourself and maybe talk about your role here at the university.
As you said, I'm a prevention education specialist. What that means for me is that I work with a bunch of different prevention efforts around campus, trying to, um, prevent issues of discrimination, sexual misconduct, domestic violence, and um, other sort of interpersonal issues that can pop up in the lives of students.
Um, hoping that we can do as much to. Um, prevent the harm as possible so that they're able to have a, you know, full university experience, um, where they get to come to school and be themselves. Um, and I came to this work from six years working as a frontline domestic violence advocate. So domestic violence is really my, like, specialization or area of expertise.
Although I do work with, um, people who have experienced all types of gender based and sexual violence. Um, domestic violence was just kind of the bulk of my work in that field. Okay. Well, speaking of domestic violence, um, for those who don't know, October is actually Domestic Violence Awareness Month. And so kind of going from there, Maggie, can you define what domestic violence is and what qualifies as domestic violence?
Yeah, so there's. A bunch of different definitions that are available for what domestic violence is. Um, I'm gonna start with the legal definition. Okay. Um, because the definition I use is quite different. Um, the legal definition, if you're just looking at West Virginia law is unlawfully and intentionally making physical contact of an insulting or provoking nature.
Or unlawfully causing physical harm to family or household members. And there's a whole list in the West Virginia code that says what a family or household member is. Um, it includes anyone you live with, including roommates. Um, it includes your broader family kind of relations. Um, and then there's also domestic assault, which is either when you attempt to commit a battery against someone, but you don't actually make the contact or you put them in fear of receiving, receiving an immediate physical injury.
Um, so that is. Definition of domestic violence that is based usually on single incidents of physical violence. Okay. And that is a definition that unfortunately leaves out the bulk of abusive behavior because a lot of abusive behavior is not against the law. Hmm. Um, domestic violence advocates, which I, I will consider that to be what I am for my entire life.
Um, really focus on the fact that domestic violence and domestic abuse is a pattern of behavior over time. That can include physical assaults or attempted physical assaults can include physically intimidating behavior. And sexual assault and abuse, but it also includes sort of emotionally or psychologically abusive behaviors that are done repeatedly over time in order to gain and maintain power and control over an intimate partner.
And the reason. Uh, domestic abusers engage in these patterns of power and control is generally because it gets them something that they want. And sometimes it's not easy to understand what that is. But if you think of it in like, the kind of most common dynamic that a lot of us have seen, um, you can think of an abusive man with an abuse with an abused woman, and often what they're getting there is free sex babysitter, attention and caregiving on demand.
Um, without really having to give much of themselves into the relationship. So they're getting something from their behavior, they're getting a reward. Um, and I think that that's an important detail of it, is that this behavior is patterned and it's purposeful. Okay. And so I think one of the. Um, I don't know.
Characteristics of domestic violence that people often think about or think that this is the way it is, is that it's often viewed as a problem only within the home. Mm-hmm. . And so from your perspective as an advocate, like why is that view problematic? Yeah. So we can start with like the historical way that that sort of thought has gone.
Mm-hmm. where, um, because domestic violence was seen as an issue in the home. Um, it was seen as an issue that was not an issue of public concern. Um, so you would have, you know, that stereotypical police officer. Responding to a domestic violence incident and telling both parties, it's like, you need to calm down.
Don't make me come back. Um, but not arresting someone at the scene or not really understanding how dangerous those situations can be. Um, so for a long time, treating domestic violence as an issue of the home. Meant that, uh, survivors were not receiving safety resources and were often not reaching safety.
And you can kind of see that in like the initial like advocate response to domestic violence, which is that advocates in the 1970s were housing abuse survivors in their own homes because there was nothing. Wow. Um, so that is kind of like the impact is that you had individual people. Willing to put their own bodies and safety on the line because while we treated this as a home issue, there weren't other options.
And there's two other things that come from like sort of the continued idea that domestic violence is something that occurs just in the home. Um, so first of all, we can see that in some ways that laws have been written with this distinction. So one example is that there's another term that people use, which is intimate partner violence, right?
And the reason that term is important is because not everyone who experience domestic violence lives together. Right. And so we've got the Violence Against Women Act that's been around since the 90s. And one of the things that is in there is that if you have a DV conviction, you lose your right to keep firearms, even if it's not a felony.
Um, but the federal definition, Was for domestic violence and did not include dating partners or people who did not live together. Yeah. Um, so this was called the boyfriend Loophole. It has been cleared up in the most recent authorization of Bawa. Um, but for a very long-time people who didn't meet this sort of stereotyped.
Vision of what this looks like. Um, we're not getting what's actually a really important protection because the presence or use of a firearm in a domestic violence incident is highly predictive of homicide. Mm. Yeah. Um, so this was a situation where not looking at the broader issue. Um, and trying to include as many people as possible left some people in danger.
And then the other thing is that if you think of it as a problem in the home, it can sometimes make it look like domestic violence is an individual issue, um, happening to individual people and families when it's really a broad social problem with many different factors that are leading into. Um, the problem itself.
So when you deal with it as an individual issue instead of a broader social issue, um, it puts a lot of limits in the ways that we can try to do prevention work. Mm-hmm. . Um, cuz if we are, if we are spending time on individuals, we're not looking at the broader society. Yeah, no, that makes a lot of sense.
Well, the, the piece you said about. Firearms, Um, and, and it leading to homicide. Have you seen this? I don't know how old the documentary is. I think it's quite a few years old at this point, but I know it was on HBO, but it was called Private Violence. Um, I'm familiar with it, but I haven't actually seen the whole thing.
Oh. Um, if I'm remembering correctly, that. Uh, started by a photographer who had photographed some instances of domestic violence. Is that the one you're thinking of? Uh, no. So this was, this is a woman who herself was a survivor of domestic violence. Her husband had passed away but was abusive, um, the, the entirety of their marriage.
Um, but she then worked. As an advocate with the court system, and she worked with training police officers to respond to mm-hmm. , um, violence. But it, it, it, uh, clicked with something in my brain when you were talking about the, um, the firearms because in like the opening scene of the documentary, the, the narrator is on a radio show and they're interviewing her about her work and next to her, she has this giant stack of files.
And she's like, These are all the restraining orders from women that I've worked with who were then killed by their partner. Um, she's like, A restraining order is basically like the final cry for help. Um, and so it was just, it's very, it was very, it caused like a very like, visceral kind of like reaction.
Um, that was, it was, it was terrifying. Um, and I think, yeah, yeah, for sure. I mean, one of, so. There's always sort of a push when you're talking about domestic violence in to make sure that you are, you are inclusive. Mm-hmm. . And it's definitely the case that, um, anyone of any gender can be a victim of domestic violence.
Yes. Um, and we have. Really very poor data on, um, men experiencing domestic violence. Mm-hmm. . Um, but one of the places where we do have really good data is that we know who's dying. Um, and one in three women in the United States who are murdered. We're murdered by an intimate partner. Yeah. For men, that number is one in 20, but that number explicitly includes, um, men who were killed by their intimate partner, who they were abusing.
Ah, okay. Um, the same is not true for the other number, the one in three. Um, but that one in 20 number, like significantly more women are dying because of domestic violence than men. And because of that we also know, um, that. Intimate partner fide. Is highly predictable. Um, and therefore it's actually preventable.
Hmm. Um, and since this is a podcast, no one will be able to see it . And, but I have from my days as an advocate, uh, something called the Dangerousness Lethality Assessment Guide. Um, and this is one of the prevention efforts that's going on in West Virginia. Which is to get as many screenings done for survivors who interact with systems mm-hmm.
um, as possible to try and prevent some of these femicides. Yeah. Um, and the factors are things like the presence of a firearm in the home or the use of a firearm, um, especially by those who are not permitted to have them. So if they've got a previous felony conviction or a DV conviction and they're not allowed to have a firearm and have one anyways that they're using as a tool of abuse.
Mm-hmm. , that's a very dangerous person. Yeah. Um, anyone who makes direct threats to kill like anyone in the family, including themselves, that is considered a lethality factor. Um, there's also stalking behavior following and tracking victims. Um, incidences of strangulation are associated with a 750% increase in the risk of intimate partner femicide.
Um, another one is rape. Um, when an offender is unemployed, the risk level is very high. Mm-hmm. . Um, anytime there's a child in the home who is not the offender's biological child, there's an increase in risk. And then, um, if the violence has been escalating, we see that as a risk factor. And one of the important things that I think most people need to hear, um, The only behavior on these list of risks factors that has anything to do with anything a survivor does, is the one I haven't mentioned yet, um, which is that the victim has left or is attempting to leave the relationship the first three months after leaving a relationship characterized by domestic violence are the most dangerous.
Um, . So when those factors are there, um, what the assessment guide tells you to do is provide a heightened response. Um, and that's not what we'll get into later about like primary prevention and all of that. That's not primary prevention because some harm has already occurred, right? Um, but it is about getting the violence to stop and getting this person to safety.
Um, so you can prevent additional violence, and that's secondary prevention, right? Um, and then, you know, when that person gets connected with an advocacy service, um, they'll get services that will help them to build resilience, reach, independence, safety plan, and a lot of detail. Um, and, and try to get them to a place where they're going to be able to live the rest of their lives free of violence and free of further harm.
Yeah. Um, so that just kind of brought to mind an example of like a really big prevention effort. That is going on in the state since I'm a prevention educator. Right. And that is really like kind of my priority is to like to educate around and discuss the things that can actually help save lives. Yeah.
Um, and like this is a really easy screening to do. Um, law enforcement is actually required to do these screenings in West Virginia. That's good. Um, so anyone who's like interested in going into law enforcement in the future, I highly recommend looking into this now and learning how to do it well. Yeah.
Um, so, um, but like prevention, prevention exists. It is out there, Right? Well, there, and I know there are just like, there are a lot of national organizations, but there are also, um, quite a few local organizations here in West Virginia, also in Morgantown, who like do advocacy work on the issue. And you sort of briefly touched on this, but what are some of the approaches that.
Might use to help prevent violence and harm. Cuz obviously it's not just on that interpersonal level, Right? It's on it's like a systems and a policy approach too. Yeah. So, um, I'm gonna start with like some terms and I already used them. Primary prevention is trying to stop things before they happen. , um, secondary is trying to stop things as they're happening.
Uh, and then sort of tertiary is moving towards like the kind of wholeness and reintegration that can hopefully prevent, um, that person experiencing further violence further down the line. Um, we know that a lot of domestic violence tends to be like intergenerational. Um, so that really gives a person the opportunity to be like a chain breaker, um, in their lives and be the person whose, you know, future generations are not impacted by violence because they've received this help.
Um, but unfortunately none of those things can prevent violence in the broader sort of society. Mm-hmm. . Um, so. The goal of like an advocacy organization is not just to prevent individual people, but to address the root causes of the injustice that is domestic violence, to try and stop it from happening again.
And that work occurs across a couple of different levels. Um, what we've been really talking about so far is individual advocacy, and that is like the services that someone would receive if they filed a Title IX report with our office and asked for supported services. That's individual advocacy. Mm-hmm.
Um, so that might look like. They have a stalker on campus, they wanna no contact order for on campus. Um, or because of their stalker on campus, they've stopped going to their English class and their participation grade is struggling and they need help because they're not safe to go to class. Mm-hmm. , um, looking to an organization like, uh, the Rape and Domestic Violence Information Center, which is where I had worked before coming here.
That can look like safety services, like shelter, um, risk assessments like the DAG assessment, um, intervening in criminal and civil systems or providing some sort of assistance there. Like getting people attorneys is really important a lot of the time. Um, or like getting someone into independent sustainable housing.
Um, we know that there's a huge overlap in being unhoused in domestic violence, which often flat out looks like you need someone to stay, so you stay with someone who's not safe because the alternative is being outside in the winter in West Virginia, which isn't ideal either. . Um, and so those are the kind of things that happen on the individual level.
And they can prevent violence in someone's individual life. They can prevent violence from affecting their family, like their children. Um, but we've gotta kind of step up to a different level. When we want to try and address broader issues of violence. Um, so the second level that advocacy occurs on is either systems or institutional levels.
Um, my previous work was a systems level intervention. Where we were working with Child Protective Services to try to improve policy outcomes for survivors. So for an example, what the West Virginia Code says about, um, the kind of situation that a survivor is likely to end up in is that, You know, being a victim of domestic violence is not child abuse against your children.
What is knowingly allowing abuse of your children to occur, And what the West Virginia code and CPS policy says is that a worker can't find. That a domestic violence survivor, like once they've screened and determined DV is an issue, they can't find that a DV survivor knowingly allowed the abuse of their children unless they took no steps that were reasonable given the threat posed by the offender.
So that's like a really specific multi-step analysis. Yeah. Um, that requires you to look. The full context of what's going on, which really requires you to try to get it. Um, but survivors didn't trust cps. That's learned from experience that outcomes don't always go the right way. Mm-hmm. . Um, so survivors don't always, Disclose everything to cps, um, because it doesn't feel safe, or it outright isn't safe.
Um, so the DV specialist project, which is going on throughout the state of West Virginia, um, is designed to. Get survivors to an advocate early when DV is either in the initial report or undercover through screening, um, with the understanding that when they talk to the advocate, it is confidential. They can disclose.
Absolutely everything. Um, and that will only be shared with CPS with permission, but that gives the advocate a chance to put all of the behaviors and things that have happened in their correct context, um, so that you can see that. Um, it's more complicated than this. Survivor didn't leave, therefore they knowingly allowed abuse, um, or they failed to protect their children, which is language you see a lot in the CPS system that doesn't really reflect what the law says and therefore isn't.
You know, when I was talking about knowingly allow, it has all of those points where you can ask questions and plug in data. Um, but with failure to protect, because it's not a legal standard that actually exists, that gets applied, however, an individual worker has been taught it's supposed to be applied.
Um, so even though we have a system that's actually very survivor friendly in terms of the analysis, it encourages these workers to do. That's what's on paper. And the reality for individual survivors can be quite different. So systems advocacy and that DV specialist project is about, we have this survivor friendly policy, let's use it more uniformly and with.
Like a strict attention to the lived experiences of these survivors. Um, so it's all always about, um, doing sort of training and technical assistance, making these systems work better. Trying to change viewpoints. Um, cuz there are a lot of people within systems who think of various ways that survivors are responsible for what happened to them and need to be accountable.
Um, but other projects that advocates engage in are about making sure that the real lived experience of survivors is understood. Um, and that's really a big step towards, um, the sort of social change that we want because the survivors aren't, on a broad scale, really believed or understood still. Right. Um, and there's a lot of reasons why that happens.
Like we all want to believe that the world is just so if bad things happen to someone, there's gotta be a reason. Right. Right. Um, but our world is not just. And so bad things happen to good people all the time. Um, and we need those like sort of interventions and broader understandings that can start in systems and then move beyond them, um, to sort of like get at the people who are being the most dangerously impacted.
By these ideas about survivors and helping them and then, um, also supporting their own agency and efficacy. Because the thing about the anti-gender-based Move Violence movement and the Antisexual Violence Movement is that it is a movement that ideally should be led by survivor. Um, because they're the ones with the most information about what is happening to them and how it's impacting their lives.
Um, but often there, even within advocacy organizations, their advocacy and their agency and their potential as advocates is not supported. Um, so not talking about any specific center, but you might see places where if you've used a center services, you can't volunteer there. Ah. Um, and that's like exclusionary in a way that harms survivors and also separates advocates from survivors.
Um, but that's also really artificial because a large number of domestic violence advocates are survivors themselves, right? Um, so that's also, um, a sort of practice that has happened to try to protect survivors cuz the concern. is that you're not really ready to volunteer. Um, but it's really infantilizing and like ignores the fact that they know better than we do when they're ready.
Right. Um, and if Survivor advocates struggle to do the work, the issue might be with the system they're in, which is the DV agency itself, um, and not. Not cited with them as an individual issue. Yeah. Um, so there's, there's a lot of work towards making sure that this continues to be a survivor-led movement.
Um, and that's really important. So like our own systems as advocates, we have to pay attention to and make sure that they're functioning in, in the way that they need to. Um, but there's also to know just any, any organization that might interact with a survivor. Prosecuting attorney, law enforcement, medical services.
Um, there are also people that advocates approach and partner with. Um, so to provide a couple more examples, there is something called a coordinated community response team. These have a bunch of different names. Um, the one that I'm a member of still in this office is the Sexual Assault Response Team.
Mm-hmm. . And so in that meeting we get training, we have discussions about what's going on in our community so that we are addressing what's on, going on, on the ground and not. Hypothetical situations. Um, and then we are also doing training and technical assistance to make sure that best practices are followed.
And so one of the thing that came out of the SART is the SART protocol, which is a booklet that has instructions for. Every single kind of institution that might intersect with a survivor, um, to tell them if they haven't gotten help, here's where you can get them help. Um, or if they've already gotten help, here's your role and, and how to do it best.
And there are also coordinated community response teams that work explicitly on domestic violence issues. Um, and one of the ones in Mongolia County is the stock team. Um, so that's services, training officers and prosecutors. Um, completely dedicated around making sure that officers in our area have the training that they need to be compassionate first responders, and same thing for the prosecuting attorney.
Okay. Um, So that's the kind of systems level interventions. And the, the last one, and this is where we can really do the most in terms of prevention, is social change advocacy. Right? Um, so social change advocacy is focused on. Um, changing the social conditions that enable and support domestic violence. Um, you see a lot of ways that that gets done.
Um, there's a lot of school-based prevention around how to avoid dating violence. Um, when you are dealing with older groups, you can kind of start talking through. What are norms? Uh, we made them up, which means we can change them. Um, so having conversations about norms that are kind of pro, pro violence.
Um, That have sort of created a culture of victim blaming and rape culture itself. Um, that level of violence largely against women is so normalized, um, that sometimes it's hard to think of as a problem that has so. Because it's just, this is normal. This happens all the time. Um, so one of the big ones is just the normalization of, of this violence.
We need to problematize it. In our social change advocacy and say, No, actually this isn't normal. We made it normal, which means we can change it. Um, so you'll also see things that are based around economically empowering women and girls. Um, or you might see work that is focused around, um, culturally specific.
Populations. Um, intersectionality in advocacy is very, very important. Um, cookie cutter solutions don't work for everybody. Um, every sort of case plan needs to take into account the full person, um, who's in front of an advocate. And that means when we're looking at social change advocacy as antiviolence advocates.
We have to also be looking at anti-oppression work. Mm-hmm. , um, because, you know, anti-black violence, um, has a real specific effect on the way that black women experience domestic violence or experience like being pulled into a system. Um, we are seeing now, Um, based on data, it took a while, but West Virginia Child Protection is starting to kind of show that there's some bias towards removing children of color.
Um, and so that's gonna have a disparate impact on, um, parents who are people of color, and especially DV survivors. Um, and there's similar issues for. Members of the LGBTQ community whose abuse experience is often explicitly focused on their orientation. Um, so social change advocacy is really, really broad, uh, when it comes to like the anti-gender violence movement.
Um, and it has to include a lot. Um, But in terms of like one, like sort of really easy to understand example, I did wanna bring up, um, media. Um, so I'm gonna start by plugging a YouTube video I really like called Stalking for Love by Pop Culture. Detective, uh, that kind of goes through. These movie film tropes that portray what is in actuality stalking behavior as somehow romantic.
Right. Um, and if you remember the entirety of the Twilight Series, what, Yeah. Yeah. Um, your hair sleep. So like, you, you can remember when I was talking about risk factors, stalking. Is a risk factor for intimate partner fide. It's not very romantic once you know that. Um, but it takes a lot to reset that understanding.
Um, Twilight is a really good example. There is stalking behavior in that. There's an instance in one of the movies, I think it's the se uh, third one where, um, Bella wants to go visit Jacob, and Edward disables her car. Yep. Um, like openly tells her that's what he did. Um, that's abusive behavior. It's not romantic.
Um, I also had 50 shades of gray on my list to discuss which 50 Shades of Gray is Twilight fan fiction. So everything that I have to say about Twilight. Just comes right over to 50 Shades of Gray, but like there's an explicit scene in that book and the movie where the male lead is openly plying the female lead with alcohol to get sexual consent.
Uh, like admits that that's what he's doing. There's stalking behaviors, um, difference between the book and the movies. That the book has the main character's internal dialogue, and she thinks of their relationship as highly traumatic. Um, she's going through some really bad stuff. Um, and this is a romance book?
Yeah. 50 Shades in Twilight are maybe a little bit out of date as examples. They're not the only ones. Um, and they really just stick out for me because of like the times when they came out. Um, but, well, I think recent, I think recently. Another, uh, another example that I've seen that's more current, and I think another movie is about to come out.
Is the after series, which interestingly enough started as Harry Styles fan fiction, um, . But uh, I guess the book was on, I think like Wapa and it had like a billion downloads or reads or something. And I, I read the first book cuz I'm like, Okay, what is this? And Holy smokes. Yeah. Like the, the whole book, they ch they and the movie is, they slightly improved it, but it's still not a great message because in the book, This guy Har, um, what is it?
Harlan, I think that's his name. Um, no, I can't remember his name actually, but, um, That's okay. I have not read it. Yeah. The, so the main guy, he basically has a bet with his friends that says, I am going to take this girl's virginity by the end of the year. And when I do, like you all owe me something or other, Oh no.
And literally, . He ends up, they end up having sex and it's her first time he takes the sheets, um, that has the quote evidence and shows them to the friend, and then she finds out about this and they do separate for a minute, but then they come back. Wow. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I'm just, I'm just gonna say it must be really weird to be hairstyles and know that that's about you.
Right. Um, yeah, there's some real consent issues there, right? Yes. And it's, I mean, the whole, the whole relationship is extraordinarily volatile. Um, like screaming, like fights, jealousy, possessiveness, like stalking behaviors. Mm-hmm. , and again, it's, it's romanticized to the point of like, Oh, this is what I should want in a relationship.
Like, No, no. Yeah. No, it's bad. . Yeah, I have, I have another older example that I started to mention is like the movie, The Notebook. Oh. Which I think is like revered, right? Yeah. But there's a scene very early in the movie where a person threatens suicide to get a date. Yeah. And that's horrifying, right? Um, and like I can, I can sort of get, like, the rest of the movie is a little bit different, but there's a lot of really inappropriate behavior.
Like throughout that movie as well. Um, it's a very sort of toxic relationship and at a bare minimum, like toxic relationships are extremely normalized. Yes. Like beyond like what abusive behaviors look like. Um, and that's kind of its own problem because it can stop us from noticing when things. Like are toxic heading towards abusive?
Yeah. Because of how normal toxicity and relationships looks. Yes. Um, but like, you know, I've been. With my partner for almost 12 years. And like we have conflict, but we don't have fights, right? Because we can talk to each other. And that's not super interesting to watch . So it's not what shows up in movies and TVs.
It's like, yeah, look at this couple doing their regular monthly check-in to make sure their household is running smoothly. Right? That's not dramatic, that's not entertainment. Yeah. Um, but it. What I would wish everyone could see in their own interpersonal relationships. Mm-hmm. is that like, conflict is normal, right?
But the other stuff's not right. Um, conflict is not abuse. Um, and abuse isn't conflict. So those are, those are kind of the things that I, I think are really big. And I think that this ongoing, um, Media criticism and media literacy is very, very important as a social change advocacy like technique. Yes. Um, it's like we need people to understand that these kinds of relationships might be entertaining to watch, but they're not desirable to live through.
Yeah. That's, Yeah, that's very true. Um, so I think we're running a little bit short on time. I know there was some other, a few of the things we wanted talk about, but I think we might have to hold that for an additional episode. Um, I'm, I'm totally fine to just plug d a stuff Yeah. And how that be where we Yeah.
Yeah. If you could just tell us a little bit about the events that are, that are going around, that are gonna be around Morgantown for this. Sure. Um, so all of the proclamations, uh, have already been done so officially for Mon County and Morgantown as the city, uh, it is officially domestic Violence Awareness month as of earlier this week.
Um, there are events going around in town. Some of them are through, um, my office and like I'm planning them. other ones are with the Rape and Domestic Violence Information Center. Uh, so I kind of want to plug some of their things first. Okay. Um, the first thing is that they're doing some DIY donate events.
These are really good ways to support R D V I C and, um, try and get them some assistance with funding. Um, there are issues we don't have time to go into with state level and federal funding for DV centers. Okay. Um, but the long and short of it is with direct donations to R D V I C. It both helps them maintain their funding, um, because their funding, their funders require donations, right?
They require community support. Um, but it's also unrestricted, which means they can do whatever is best for survivors with it. Where like, federal funders kind of put strings, right? So the first one coming up is Monday, October 10th at Per Mane Brothers, which I think will have passed by the time this airs.
So maybe edit that one out. . Yeah. Um, there's one on 10 13 at Tara Cafe. Okay. One on October 20th at Panera Bread, and one on October 25th at Applebee's. Okay. All you'll need to do is have the flyer for this on your phone, which you'll be able to get from the R D V I C Facebook page, okay? Um, this isn't in Mongolia County.
On the 14th, so next Friday, if you are from the Taylor County or Grafton area, they're actually having something called the Monster Mash, which is just like kind of a Halloween fundraiser and Halloween party. It is child friendly. Um, but there's also like a costume contest simply because d a tends to be depressing, uh, cuz it's a serious subject matter.
Um, but they wanted to do something to, you know, bring in community togetherness. Um, so that's what the Mash Monster Mash is about. That's about, you know, advocates getting to connect with their community. Um, I would highly encourage you to go if you're able to get to Grafton for that. Um, after that we start to get into the week of action.
Where my events and R D V I C events come together. Um, so on Monday, October 17th from one to five, we're going to be in the craft room in Braxton Towers. Oh. Um, and that is our DA art party. You can make whatever you want. If you come to the party, you are not expected to be there the whole time. Come in, come out as it fits your schedule.
But if you're of a mind to, what we would really like you to do while you're there is to create some artwork and shades of purple. Uh, purple is the DGA, uh, color. Mm-hmm. . So R D V I C does a thing every year that they call paint the town purple. And so it's about making something that you can put up and display to show some solidarity with survivors.
It's also a self-care activity, um, designed to. Be a fun time instead of to, to sort of be a downer. Um, we have a second event on the 18th in the craft room, um, which is the start of a mindfulness and self-care, um, kind of support group. Um, that's gonna be over time angled towards graduate students because there's a lot more.
For undergrads on campus, but we're gonna be launching that mindfulness initiative during the week of action. So that's also in Braxton, It's from five to six. Um, and after that, it's gonna be twice a month from six to eight 19th. On the mountain layer, we're gonna be doing a relationship and boundaries workshop.
Cool. Uh, we don't have the room yet, but it is in the mountain layer on the 19th from six to eight. Um, and then on the 20th there is the Silent Witness Resource Fair. Yep. Little bit there because the Women's Resource Center has their silent witness exhibit in, in the mountain layer the whole week. Yep.
But on Thursday there will be a resource fair. Um, we will be tabling R D V I C. We'll be tabling, um, lots of good information there. We'll be there to, Oh yeah, well, WVU we'll be tabling and I think so. Will the car center, Cause we, I was talking about it with someone just couple days there. Yeah. And then, um, On Friday, the 21st, what we're gonna be doing as the last thing in our week of action, um, over in the Health Sciences Center, I am going to be doing a dialogue session, um, because I like dialogue sessions over lecturing.
Mm-hmm. , um, called Don't Trip on the Missing Stair. Uh, and it is a dialogue about, um, missing stairs in our communities, which are. Um, structural issues and sometimes they're people, um, that instead of fixing the structural issue, we tend to tell people to avoid like this dangerous spot or person. Um, and that doesn't always work.
So like there might be communities where like people know there's someone who's predatory and they just tell everyone, Hey, that guy's a Crete. Um, and sometimes that works and sometimes it doesn't. Um, and what it isn't is accountability, right? Um, so it's how to move from warning people around structural dangers to trying to find ways to implement systems of accountability in your community, which can be really, really small.
Like maybe your community's your friend group, maybe it's your sorority. Um, and then hopefully as more and more people get comfortable with, Conscientious, careful accountability discussions, we can start to move those broader. Yeah. Um, like even in the Title IX office, we kind of have like an alternative accountability system to like the criminal justice system.
Um, and like a lot of students use that to hold, um, the people who have harmed them accountable. And then there's like real consequences and real opportunities for change on the part of the person who's caused harm. When there's a real accountability system in place. Yep. Um, so that's what that's gonna be about.
I'm going to be repeating that. Don't. Workshop often. Good. Um, so if you miss it during the week of action, it'll happen again. Awesome. Well, although sound, uh, really great Maggie, and I think, um, I'll try and link to like R D V I C'S Facebook page so that folks can. Uh, get the flyer in case they're interested in going to any of those restaurants.
Um, so that'll be in the description of the podcast, and it is, are the events that y'all are doing in Title ix, is there a link to, like, do you have a calendar on your website that I can link to, or is it. I should by Wednesday. Okay. I will by we, No, I will by Wednesday. Oh, okay. Cool. Will, Excellent. Uh, well I'll link to y'all's website so that uh, people know to go and check all that, all those events out.
Uh, cuz it is good stuff. So, uh, I know again, we had more stuff that we wanted to talk about. Well, we're just running short on time today, so Oh no, you're gonna have to come back Cause I know there, what we didn't talk about is something that you're very passionate about, as am I. Yeah, it'll be good. Um, right.
But thank you Maggie, for, for taking the time today. I really appreciate it. And to all of our listeners, uh, thanks for listening and we'll catch you next time on Wellbeing Wednesdays.