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This is a show for burnt-out fashion designers (and TDs, PDs, patternmakers and beyond) who want more flexibility while still doing work they love. As a freelance fashion designer, you can build your fashion career on your own terms. Freelancing in fashion is the only way to get freedom in your day (instead of being tied to a desk). Whether you want to earn extra money on the side, fund your fashion brand, or replace your salary, the FDGP podcast will help you get there. Listen in for actionable tips and strategies to kickstart or grow your career as a freelance fashion designer, build your confidence, and create the life you want. Hosted by $100k+ fashion freelancer Sew Heidi, the show features interviews and strategy sessions with successful freelance fashion designers from around the world who've ditched toxic fashion jobs and taken control of their own destinies. This is the only place to get REAL insights from REAL freelancers who have built REAL careers on their own terms. (Formerly the Successful Fashion Freelancer podcast.)
Heidi [00:00:00]:
Think we've all had that feeling when we know we should do something, but we just keep putting it off. Maybe it's starting your freelance fashion career. Maybe it's getting your portfolio done or sending out a pitch to your dream client. Whatever it is, you are procrastinating. If you've tried all the time management tools and Pomodoros out there but still are making progress, spoiler alert, there is something deeper going on, and it's likely tied to your emotions about the task. My guest today is Grace Broder who specializes in helping entrepreneurs overcome by addressing the root cause of self sabotaging patterns. Grace shares some simple strategies you can use to free yourself from certain emotions and get stuff done. If you know you could be making more progress in your freelance fashion career, but you aren't, you're going to love this episode of fashion designers get paid.
Heidi [00:00:45]:
Let's get to it. Welcome, Grace. Talk to me a little bit about your background in this space. You teach people how to be more productive and how to prevent procrastination. Where did this all come from in your life? How did this develop?
Grace [00:01:02]:
Well, first, thanks for having me, and that's a great question. So I was a perfectionist growing up and, you know, through college and even into my early career as a consultant. And I just found that, perfectionism and procrastination kind of went hand in hand. It wasn't so much that I was a lazy student. It was just that I was pushing things up into the deadline because I was so worried that I was going to fail or, not look good enough or whatever it may be.
Heidi [00:01:31]:
Yeah.
Grace [00:01:32]:
And, when I saw the, you know, post college and those all nighters and, cram sessions, when I got into my career, when I saw that, a lot of that didn't actually go away. In fact, I still put off work, work that was ambiguous or work that I was afraid that I wouldn't do a good job at. Then I was like, okay. I'm too tired of this. I have to go out and find solutions, which is when I was really trying to look at time management solutions and not really seeing much success with it. Tried therapy. Tried so many different things. And finally, I was like, you know what? I'm just going to go out and try to create a solution of my own.
Heidi [00:02:11]:
Yeah. So it sounds like this was, like, a pretty I mean, I think everyone has pursued some type of time management solution. Right? Whether it's, like, some type of fancy app for a checklist or time blocking or what have you. But to the extent of, like, going to therapy and, like, really digging into this, it sounds like it was having a big enough impact on your life where you're like, I gotta really resolve this. What were some of those moments where you realized this is something bigger that I really have to figure out how to solve?
Grace [00:02:42]:
Yeah. That's a good question too. It was really a couple of moments. The last turning point was when I was taking a national park vacation, and I was a few years into my career. And all the whole time throughout the vacation, I was just thinking about the massive pile of work that I left undone and that I I couldn't really be present on the vacation because my head was just spiraling. And and as well, just this feeling over time that built up on Sunday nights or at the evening when, you know, I would say, okay. Tomorrow, then I'll finally tackle this. It's this massive project that I was sort of spearheading at the time, that I didn't want to.
Grace [00:03:26]:
I was like, oh, I'll tackle it tomorrow morning, and then the morning would come. And it was work from home at this point. And
Heidi [00:03:32]:
Okay.
Grace [00:03:32]:
Then I was like, oh, I'll do it later. I'll do it later. And then I'm like, in my evening. And so after only so much of that, I was just saying, you know what? This is probably something deeper because the calendar blocking the Pomodoro timers and, just general talk therapy weren't working for me.
Heidi [00:03:51]:
Okay. So what did you even do to start exploring, like, how to figure this out? Yeah.
Grace [00:03:56]:
It was, so I started with, a couple different programs. I'd actually always been interested in coaching, and so it was right along when I was getting this turning point of I've had enough that I was also starting to pursue coaching. And so I had started to learn about, the brain and the body, really the psychology behind our human behavior and as well as taking a few certifications. Notice when I saw that I started working with energetics, so somatic work, that adds to when I noticed a bit more of a change because, the way I phrase it, at least in my programs to my clients, is we don't avoid actions. We avoid feelings. And so the best thing you can do is actually go to the root cause. You know? Because restructuring your day isn't necessarily going to change how you feel about a task if it makes you feel overwhelmed or fearful. Yeah.
Grace [00:04:49]:
And so once I started really addressing the fears, the feelings, the the doubts, then it got a lot easier to start my work ahead of time.
Heidi [00:04:58]:
Okay. So it sounds like if someone's listening and they're like, I've tried all the time management tools and all the different things and it's still not getting done, then it's time to look at something deeper. Like you said, addressing the emotion. How do you even start to address the emotion or, like, identify the you know, what the emotion is and and what does that process look like?
Grace [00:05:20]:
Yeah. So you could think of just something that's a large project maybe that makes you a bit overwhelmed or maybe, an initiative that you've wanted to take whether you're growing your business or just starting off, or even a project at home maybe, or it still could be applicable. And if you just think about that in your mind, and you let that sit, and you let the thoughts start to come, thoughts have a direct impact on our feelings. And so you might experience thoughts like, oh, I just really don't wanna do this, but you also might experience thoughts like, what if I don't do this? What if I you know, there's so much to do in so little time.
Heidi [00:05:56]:
Mhmm.
Grace [00:05:57]:
Stuff like that. And then you can begin to notice, okay, just where in your body are you experiencing that? This is a disconnect for a lot of people. Essentially, we experience that feeling, and then we're picking up our phone to distract from it because it's a way of numbing from that feeling. And so if you just wait while those thoughts are going through and notice, okay, do you feel tension in your stomach? Do you feel tension in your throat, in your chest? And there is where the emotion lives, because our our feeling is basically how we are experiencing it. Someone experienced 2 people experiencing anxiety could look very different. Someone feeling it, know, in their chest or someone feeling it more in their throat, for example.
Heidi [00:06:39]:
Yeah. Okay. So let's, I'd love to maybe, like, just sort of put this into some context. So most people listening are either freelancing in fashion or they're aspiring to be freelance fashion designers. And so I know you work with people of all capacities, but I imagine there's a lot of freelancers in there. Where do you see or I can identify too if you don't have, like, a a great starting point for an example of, like, someone wanting to start their freelance business. Like, where might that 1st sticking point be where they're like, okay. Some type of emotional overwhelm where it's not just the to do list thing, and what might that maybe overwhelm or anxiety? You know? Can you give some specific examples of how that could look in in the capacity of freelancing?
Grace [00:07:22]:
Yeah. Of course. I know when I think about myself, when I was first starting my business, I was experiencing doubts and fears like, what will people think if I do this? Can I do this? Or, you know, posting online that could be cringey or embarrassing and this, like, worry of, you know, what is, you know, my friend from high school or ongoing to think if they find my Instagram. Like, who is she? And so we might experience thoughts like, you know, who do you think you are to start, a freelance when all we've known is, you know, say, doing a a standard job or, you know, working for someone, which is totally fine too and actually can be very supportive in you building your side business. And so I think the time management tools are great, and I will say, certain therapy I've received is great as well. So I don't say they won't help, but it's in conjunction with really working with your feelings. And so I would brainstorm, for example, all those things out on a piece of paper and just get really concrete about what you're thinking because a lot of times, you can bring up what's unconscious to your conscious mind, and then you know a little bit more about what you're working, working with. And then, it might be looking at, okay, what am I specifically worried about in writing that out as well.
Heidi [00:08:38]:
Okay.
Grace [00:08:39]:
Instead of, oh, I'm just so lazy. I'm not, like, starting my business. I'm just scrolling. I'm looking at other people, you know, consuming more courses or consuming more information rather than actually acting on it, which is how we normally best learn.
Heidi [00:08:53]:
Okay. Alright. So I'm having, just to use your example, I'm having a lot of self doubt and, like, what are people gonna think of it. Right? So I've got this emotion, and I've written a lot of it down, and I feel it, let's say, in my chest. I know. I always feel anxiety in my chest. So, so we've identified that. And then how do we go through, like, starting to resolve that or shift the energy or something? Like, what what is the next step there to to relieve ourselves of the Hurt
Grace [00:09:23]:
with that feeling. Yeah. Yeah. That feeling. I I
Heidi [00:09:26]:
I work with a therapist as well. I'm always like, all feelings are good feelings. And we just have to work through them. So
Grace [00:09:33]:
Yeah. Yeah. I know. They we can hear a lot of things that just feel your feelings or get comfortable with being uncomfortable
Heidi [00:09:39]:
and all
Grace [00:09:40]:
these things, and then it's actually putting it into practice. So I see 2 things at play. And the first is that by working through your fears and re it's your post, it can pull a lot of the anxiety away because it's in, like, oh, I actually don't care. So that can be a process in and of itself into lowering them. But let's say we can't lower it and we've just got the feeling in here, and we're like, I just wanna work today. I just wanna get some things done. Yeah. One tool, for example, I found, after you do that kind of brain dump, you get everything out.
Grace [00:10:22]:
That alone can relieve some anxiety because our head can only hold on to so much at one point. Yeah. So I'd definitely do that. I would definitely make a more condensed list of what you're focusing on for the day because that can help reduce overwhelm as well. So instead of thinking starting your whole freelancing business, for example, it's like, what's the smallest next step I can take? Yeah. You will get a lot less overwhelmed if you do that, versus thinking about the big picture, comparing to others
Heidi [00:10:50]:
Yeah.
Grace [00:10:50]:
Thinking of all the what if scenarios.
Heidi [00:10:52]:
Yeah.
Grace [00:10:53]:
But then the feeling specifically, which I think is, more of what you were asking, I found a really good tool to work through that is, emotional freedom technique. Okay. And this is a bit yeah. EFT.
Heidi [00:11:06]:
Is it tapping a little bit?
Grace [00:11:08]:
It's tapping. Yeah.
Heidi [00:11:09]:
I've done a little bit of tapping.
Grace [00:11:11]:
Yeah. See, people, I I find they either have no idea what it is and they're largely skeptical like I was when I first tried it. They've tried it, but they've tried it a couple of times. They haven't really, like, built it into their routine, or they're just obsessed because they they and they've made it at that point. But in terms of quick tools that I can cover at least on this interview and instead of my my my whole slew of them Sure. That cover my programs, I'll focus in on this one because what I've seen, it's probably the easiest I could explain, as well as, what I've seen can provide the most rapid anxiety relief or over wrong relief or even burnout, sadness. Like, anything that releases, it's, is designed to help the energy move through you. Like, emotions are energy in motion.
Heidi [00:12:00]:
Yeah.
Grace [00:12:00]:
And by ignoring it, it, like, kinda gets stuck down, and so this is what really helps, you release it, which would come in the form of, like, yawning, crying, or just feeling better and, like, a bit lighter, which is often what happens for me.
Heidi [00:12:15]:
Yeah. Okay. Cool. Do you have any, tapping videos or IFT videos we could link people through?
Grace [00:12:21]:
I actually send a lot of people to, Brad Yates on YouTube. So Yeah.
Heidi [00:12:26]:
Okay. Okay. We'll add him
Grace [00:12:27]:
because he has. Yeah. He'll he has, like, a whole slew like, the largest library, at least, I know of of free tapping videos.
Heidi [00:12:35]:
Okay.
Grace [00:12:35]:
I do have tapping videos inside of my courses specific to procrastinators and perfectionist people pleasers. Okay. But nothing specifically on my channels for free. I would just direct them to you. Okay. Check out Brad Yates. He's got great stuff.
Heidi [00:12:50]:
Okay. Gotcha. So I'm that person in the middle. I've, like, tried it a handful of times. It feels a little funny. You're, like, literally tapping your finger on your face or various parts of your body and stuff over and over, and you're, like, saying these various words. I I think I just tried it a few times, and how how deep into it do you feel like you have to get to maybe build some type of muscle or start to be like, yeah. Okay.
Heidi [00:13:18]:
This is something I can, like, oh, in 30 seconds, if I'm feeling anxious, I can do this quick tapping, and it just becomes part of your routine. There's a little bit of learning curve or a hump.
Grace [00:13:27]:
So the first thing is, I think that sometimes, the other videos out there can make it a bit more complicated. And what I I use one simple line is from, kind of the Faster EFT method, which is I release and let this go.
Heidi [00:13:40]:
And I just that's it.
Grace [00:13:42]:
That's it. And, like, that I so I found that introducing a lot more simplicity and kind of a shortened method to my clients gets them to actually use it when they're, like, they're sitting, they're feeling frozen, or they're just experiencing that swelling in their chest. It's just immediately start to do that. With somatic work, it's often best to, like, work with your body to move around, and so the best thing you can actually really do is not create stories about what you're feeling, which
Heidi [00:14:11]:
Okay.
Grace [00:14:13]:
Is so simple in theory, but very hard in practice. So people are like, oh, I'm feeling sad. Why am I feeling sad? I'm feeling anxious. I wish I wasn't feeling anxious. Instead, this is just trying to bypass that and saying, like, release and let this go, and you're tapping on the various points. Points that are based very similarly to acupuncture. It comes from, like, the same Chinese medicine, practices. So I think that often first, if you need to, it's like go into the research about, like, all the clinical studies done on this.
Grace [00:14:46]:
Otherwise, it will seem kinda too good to be true. I'm like a little woo woo
Heidi [00:14:50]:
or something. Yeah.
Grace [00:14:50]:
A little woo, a little out there. But emotions, we can't see our emotions. Right? Like, we we know they're in there. All we can do is kind of rate ourselves before and after we try it and go in saying, hey. It's 5 minutes, and the worst case scenario is I tried something for 5 minutes. The best case scenario is a great tool to work. I feel a lot better. Yeah.
Grace [00:15:09]:
Yeah.
Heidi [00:15:10]:
Yeah. Okay. Cool. So earlier you mentioned reframing. I wanna, like, talk about that a little bit more specifically and look at some examples. So you you said it sort of in the context of right. I'm gonna put this. Put myself out there as a freelancer, and what is my high school friend gonna think? What is my aunt gonna think? Right? How do we reframe that situation? What does that look like?
Grace [00:15:37]:
Yeah. So I think the first thing for this specific scenario that you could do is just, look at writing down what's everything that won't happen if you don't do this. Like or what will happen if you don't do this, I should say, instead of a double negative. But, like
Heidi [00:15:54]:
What will happen if you don't do this?
Grace [00:15:57]:
Yeah. Or everything that won't. Like, just get clear on more about, you know, if I never start this channel, if that's what they wanna do, like, start on Instagram, what's that gonna mean? Okay. Well, I may never be able to release my passions to the world. I may never be able to try something more fulfilling. I may never like, I always will wonder what if. And, like, getting really clear on that can actually create more motivation to take the steps because it puts in the picture of, like, this is so much more important than, like, that random person whose opinion I'm worried about.
Heidi [00:16:30]:
Yeah.
Grace [00:16:31]:
So that's 1 step you could take. Another is thinking about I always have my clients say, okay. Like, when's the last time you scrolled through your feed and you thought more than 2 seconds about someone's post?
Heidi [00:16:43]:
The spotlight fallacy.
Grace [00:16:45]:
Yeah. It's just like, I think we all or like, you go to the gym for the 1st time, you're like, everyone's looking at me and how stupid I look. And it's like, when have you ever looked at someone in the gym and thought, like, oh, you're so stupid you don't know what you're doing. No. Everyone's just like, focused on themselves, focused on what they're posting. And it really like, what people think, I tell my clients this, like, has little to no effect on what is most important to you. It does it has no effect on your family. Like, these random people.
Grace [00:17:14]:
Right? Like, of course, you wanna care what your, you know, like, immediate circle cares. Yeah. Yeah. And, if they're good friends, they they won't judge you for this sort of a thing. But, like, those random people, the ones you're usually worried about, like, they're gonna have no impact on your income, no impact on, like, your close circle, your day to day activities. It's just going to live as a thought. And the more you actually act and see, look, like, nothing bad happened to me, like, that action will start to really pull out that fear. But you kinda have to do it a little bit scared at the beginning to kinda show your brain, like, look.
Grace [00:17:50]:
We're okay.
Heidi [00:17:51]:
Okay. It's a little bit of a muscle.
Grace [00:17:53]:
Yeah. There's a little bit of muscle. Those, like some of those reframes will help. And, again, it will be unique to, you know, that thing that you're, worried about, you know. But, again, like, a a reframe even for anything, not just starting your business. I've always turned, success into, like, just trying and defining failure is I'm just never gonna give it a shot. And then by that definition, it's like, oh, there's not so much to worry about as long as I'm just taking moves that they're like I'm learning. Like, there isn't failure.
Grace [00:18:28]:
There's just feedback.
Heidi [00:18:30]:
Okay. So if I understood that correctly, it's like, it's not this, air quote, success. It's I'm just taking action. I'm just putting 1 foot in front of the other, moving the thing forward. Is that did I hear that correctly?
Grace [00:18:44]:
Yeah. Yeah. Like, with people putting their example, posting on Instagram, they might get caught up on, like, how many likes it gets or here's click it. It's like, the success is posting it. The success is, like, writing the thoughts out and doing it regardless of what happens. The failures, you if you never even tried, I I would
Heidi [00:19:03]:
getting 0 likes. Failure is not doing it, and success is just posting a thing regardless of the engagement or the end result.
Grace [00:19:13]:
Exactly. Yeah. It's like giving yourself a try.
Heidi [00:19:16]:
And then
Grace [00:19:16]:
it's like, okay. We're not feeling failure unless we're literally not trying. And I think that can be applicable for so many things. Like, even starting your business, not even posting, but just, like, taking initial steps on your freelancing business.
Heidi [00:19:29]:
Yeah. That okay. I'm gonna have to practice in this stuff because that's definitely easier said than done. I think we all feel the emotion on Instagram, whether it's a personal account or some type of, business account. Right? And you're like, and and I think for some of us, it that emotion can linger for a long time, and it can cause various action or inaction to the future. And some people, you might feel it for I for me, I feel it for a blip, and I'm like, okay. Moving on to the next thing. Yeah.
Heidi [00:19:57]:
It is hard to completely, you know, avoid some of those little roller coasters, just due to the nature of we are all visible in this online world. But as you said earlier, not everybody is paying as much attention as we think.
Grace [00:20:13]:
No. No. Definitely not. Yeah. And I think the expectations we have with ourselves is really what's going to help set us up for success or make us, you know, sit in that to, you know, extra, oh, no one liked it. You know, if your expectation is more of, like is low attachment to what the result is going to be, if the expectation is that, you know, not every post will be a home run, maybe it will kind of look like this or like, I make my expectation. It's a matter of at bats. And the more swings I take, the more likely I'm going to hit a home run with something.
Grace [00:20:48]:
Mhmm. My business looks wildly different today than it did when I started, and it was because I just action after action. And so when you can really sit into that, like, what are the expectations of yourself? Are they realistic? And, like, how can you grow unattached to the outcome? Make things a whole lot easier when, you know, you're not met with immediate feedback when, you know, you're in the valley of despair just kind of being like, is this all worth nothing? All those thoughts and fears will always come up if you're an entrepreneur.
Heidi [00:21:19]:
So then what are your thoughts on because I feel like there's a divided there's a division on goals. Like, some people are, like, make realistic goals. You know, there's the whole, like, smart, acronym. And and one of those letters is r, which is it should be realistic. But then you've got this other, like, camp of people who what is it? The b b hags, big, hairy, audacious goals where it's like, they're huge and, like, there's this whole 10 x philosophy of, like, go after this big thing. And I know for me, like, expectations are massive. If I I I kind of have vacillated between the 2, and and the the sense of disappointment can be hard when you don't hit that BHAG or however they call it, that big, hairy, audacious goal. So, you know, for someone who's maybe struggling with procrastination and productivity, which is ultimately tied to the root of, like, some deeper emotion that's going on, It sounds like you're in the camp of more realistic goals, but I'd love for you to talk a little bit about that and how that can help us manage what we do or don't get done.
Grace [00:22:31]:
Yeah. Well, I think that, you know, it doesn't have to be separate. Like, I think you can have a big goal for yourself. When I started off, naively or I don't know. Kind of, I look back and I laugh at myself, but I had the goal of quitting my job and growing a 100,000 followers within the 1st year of starting off.
Heidi [00:22:51]:
Okay.
Grace [00:22:51]:
And this was inspiring for me. But where I had the low attachment piece was, like, how quickly it happened or also what happened to all the steps in between. And so when I was meeting with a client for the 1st time, I wasn't attached to if they were saying, yes, I wanna work with you or not. I'm like, I'm just gonna have a conversation and reduce that pressure. When I was sending out videos, I'm like, this could be it. This might be a flop. And that's where that low attachment piece is. I think with goals, we all we can do is just focus on what are the things that you have control over, what are all the actions that you can take to make this goal happen or not make your fear happen, and go heads down on that.
Grace [00:23:36]:
The rest is super out of our control. We can influence certain things for sure, me posting more influences if I would get that growth. But, like, where I where I do my kind of goal setting is I do have big goals for myself, but I'm not holding it over my head when there are certain things that are not necessarily in my hands. I'm just focusing on, like, what are all the steps that I could take to get there.
Heidi [00:24:02]:
Okay. Again, aligning the success with you taking action, not the end result that comes from that with while also still having this big goal or milestone in in your mind?
Grace [00:24:13]:
Yeah. If it inspires you, use it. If it makes you if it feels daunting or, like, you're gonna hold it over your head if you don't, then maybe choose something that feels, you know, more realistic for you that, you know, feels better for your nervous system, and then you can always grow it from there. So I think it's really important to practice personal discernment when you're choosing how to pick your goals. And for me, at least how I educate my clients, like, a lot of the work and a lot of, like, the success of these 2 systems or any other goal setting system comes down to you working through uncomfortable feelings, working through fears, holding yourself to the actions. And I think the, like, uncovering the fears and, like, removing those blocks is honestly what will prevent people from reaching what they set out to do to start. So I would just really focus in on that area, and whatever system that you pick for goals will probably have more a higher rate of success.
Heidi [00:25:10]:
Okay. It's really about okay. I'm not getting the thing done for whatever reason. There's gotta be something deeper, emotional, a feeling attached to that. So writing down a lot of those emotions, those feelings, kind of identifying what that looks like, reframing, tapping, releasing that emotion.
Grace [00:25:29]:
Mhmm.
Heidi [00:25:30]:
And then, I mean, to sum it up simply, is that the basis of the magic?
Grace [00:25:36]:
Yeah. It's going to depend a lot on, like, where you're getting blocked. So these are all tools. And maybe sometimes all I need to do you know, I've done this work for years now. Maybe all I need to do is dump out my thoughts and create a better map for my system that feels more comfortable. But Grace, 4 years ago, was a lot more anxious and a lot more overwhelmed, and so she had more, like, deep, deep work, to go through. And so I think sometimes that can feel daunting, for some people instead of looking at it like, okay, this is going to be a journey. And every I take 10 minutes to work through this, it's going to get better and better.
Grace [00:26:16]:
Because some people could be like, okay. That sounds like a lot of steps. That's gonna take me 15, 20 minutes, whatever. But then they'll spend the day productively procrastinating, cleaning their kitchen, or, like, doing some, like, checking that we will end up wasting time Yeah. If you don't work through what's blocking you. And, yes, there's some, like, forcing grit through it, but, like, we get really drained when that happens versus when you're, like, feeling light, when you're feeling relaxed, that's when you'll probably do the most work.
Heidi [00:26:55]:
Yeah. I'm, I work with a therapist and we're doing some IFT work. I'm not sure if you're familiar, internal family systems. But, anyways, and it can feel a little, like, weird, some of the processes that you go through to to work through that stuff and work with all your parts. But, it has taken a bit of a muscle for me just related to back to some of the stuff you're saying. It's it's been a bit of a muscle to develop by working with this particular therapist route 6, 8 months actually closer to 10. And at first, I was like, okay. And I would do it when I was with her.
Heidi [00:27:30]:
And then slowly, I was like at first, I was kind of avoiding, like, oh, nope. I'll just power through my day. I'll just power through my day. I'll just power through my day. Right? And then I was like, nope. I'm gonna take that 5 minutes, that 10 minutes even. And once you build that muscle, whether it's through whatever ever process, that 10 minutes is like a priceless investment in yourself. You, like, shed all this extra anxiety or overwhelm or emotion that's just not really serving you, and you do, you walk away so much lighter.
Heidi [00:28:02]:
And I'm just in the past few weeks learning that, like, okay. That 5, 10 minutes is really worth it despite all the other things I I can be busy doing. You need to sit with that for a few minutes and get over that hump, and it's so much better on the other side.
Grace [00:28:15]:
Mhmm. Yeah. Yeah. It's interesting how our brain, like, in that moment, it's not the brain, the, you know, the one that is kind of the higher level thinking, the prefrontal cortex, it's often not the one that will run out or, like, trump over our fear brain or, like, our lizard brain essentially is what people sometimes call it. That's, more, like, living in that feeling and just wanting to avoid it. But what I found can really help in those situations, whether it's a task you don't wanna do, like putting away your dishes or, you know, a small next step in your business or Yeah. Or you're in starting up your freelancing, is just focusing on, like, how will you feel when you've done it? Whether you you know, it's doing that simple exercise that will help you when you know how you'll feel and let that sink in a bit, or how will you feel, you know, when you get your taxes done ahead of time? Or how will you feel when you finally book that doctor's appointment? Like, let that feeling sink in because we're moved by our feelings. We're moved away from the ones we don't wanna experience, and that can also help kind of, like, flip the equation where we're like, oh, I wanna feel that way.
Grace [00:29:26]:
Like, let's match that feeling with the smallest first step that you could take even if that's, like, closing your laptop to just do that 5 minute exercise.
Heidi [00:29:35]:
Sure. Sure. Wow. Okay. So that's maybe, like, a little bit of a reframe. Right? Like, looking at this end result that I'm gonna get and how am I gonna feel with that. And, okay, I'm gonna work through this fear or this overwhelm because I know on the other side is this result that I really want.
Grace [00:29:52]:
Exactly. For like, using that for, you know, the the exercise you were talking about or, like, a little self care exercise that you know will help you with your feelings. You can also use that, for things outside of it as well, stuff you're just not doing, like, how I feel if I just you know, instead of going to bed with the dishes, not put away. Like, I put away them now, and it only takes, oh, it only takes 5 minutes. It's like, match the feeling with the time frame. You're like, oh, I'm more likely to do this similar with the exercise that that you had. It's just a way to introduce, like, a touch of motivation. And, again, all we wanna do is just kinda wanna veg and avoid the feeling.
Grace [00:30:28]:
Like, where do I wanna do this? We wanna just escape. Like, and that's a very normal human thing to do.
Heidi [00:30:34]:
Yeah. But I also know in the morning when I wake up to a clean kitchen, it'll be really nice.
Grace [00:30:38]:
Exactly. Like, how will you feel? And, like, let that sink in. Been more motivating.
Heidi [00:30:43]:
Yeah. Awesome. Thank you so much for sharing all of these great tips and and helping us kind of get in touch with our emotions and and address these things because they're real and we do feel them. And like you said, we don't see them, but it's genuinely happening inside of our bodies. What's the best way for people to connect with you and find you online?
Grace [00:31:04]:
Thanks for asking. I think that, with coach Grace and on Instagram or TikTok, would be the best to or just getting free content as well as, finding some of my free workshops that I have. But then if you want to look at my site, that is gracebroeder.com.
Heidi [00:31:20]:
Okay. Awesome. We'll link to all that in the show notes. And, thank you so much for coming on the show, Grace. It was lovely to get to know you.
Grace [00:31:26]:
Oh, thank you so much, Heidi. It was a pleasure.