Ep. 218 - I Woke Up Covered In Brown - 07/02/2026

This episode immediately abandons all hope of becoming a normal radio show and instead launches itself headfirst into a flaming dumpster of existential confusion, terrible financial decisions, suspicious hotel breakfast strategies, projectile vomiting, algorithm conspiracies, and the horrifying revelation that Viktor apparently becomes a fully interactive NPC while asleep. It all begins with Maynard seemingly wandering through another philosophical crisis, leaving everyone wondering if the man simply forgot where he parked or accidentally entered another dimension. That somehow spirals into discussions about bizarre song lyrics, truck drivers yelling at Kanye West to stop telling them to drive slowly, and an avalanche of brand-new rock and metal releases including A Perfect Circle, Sleep Theory, 156/Silence, and a cover of "Cruel Summer" that nobody was emotionally prepared to process.

The conversation immediately abandons music in favor of financial ruin, with everyone collectively admitting they're broke enough to start considering Reddit threads dedicated entirely to free stuff. What begins as innocent curiosity rapidly mutates into an increasingly deranged brainstorming session involving sneaking into hotel breakfast buffets, casually stealing lukewarm scrambled eggs and stale Danish pastries, and debating whether workers would even notice. Viktor casually confesses he's already pulled off the hotel breakfast heist once, while Peaches worries about instantly being recognized because apparently becoming a local radio personality means your criminal career is over before it even starts. The discussion somehow escalates into imagining getaway drivers for buffet robberies, sprinting out of all-you-can-eat restaurants with Tupperware containers full of food, and discovering that nearly every "life hack" eventually becomes felony theft if you think about it long enough.

As if food crimes weren't enough, Viktor then admits his current living situation has devolved into eating Panda Express in bed because he doesn't own a dining room table anymore. Naturally this ends exactly how you'd expect—with teriyaki sauce, mysterious chicken juice, and greasy vegetables exploding across his bedsheets like a crime scene investigators would refuse to document. Not to be outdone, Peaches casually reveals he repeatedly falls asleep while eating candy bars, only to wake up marinating in melted chocolate like a forgotten Halloween decoration. After far too much discussion about mysterious brown substances covering bedsheets, someone accidentally blurts out what could easily become the podcast title: "I Woke Up Covered In Brown."

Things somehow become even stranger when Viktor explains that while sleeping he apparently carries on full conversations that he has absolutely zero memory of the following morning. Becca allegedly interrogates him in the middle of the night, receives coherent responses, and Viktor simply reloads the next morning like nothing ever happened. The horrifying implication emerges that anyone could apparently ask sleeping Viktor classified government secrets or what he really thinks about someone and he'd happily answer without remembering any of it. Meanwhile Becca is wandering around at four in the morning, sitting in hot tubs while the dog attempts to drink chlorinated water despite repeated warnings, creating yet another bizarre mental image that nobody requested but everyone now unfortunately possesses.

Not satisfied with only discussing food disasters, Viktor remembers the time he attempted to become healthy by taking gym supplements alongside an energy drink, accidentally transforming himself into a biological pressure washer. The result? Multiple consecutive days of violently decorating the Walgreens parking lot with everything he'd recently consumed before finally realizing the supplement—not the universe—was trying to kill him. He follows this horrifying confession by admitting he repeatedly hammers the photo department assistance button every single time he visits Walgreens until an increasingly irritated manager stomps over to deal with him. Somewhere deep inside that store exists surveillance footage of a man simultaneously terrorizing employees with a service bell while previously repainting the parking lot with stomach acid.

The internet "free stuff" conversation completely derails into fake criminal advice, including downloading pirated movies, robbing buffets with athletic enthusiasm, and jokingly escalating life hacks into increasingly illegal territory before pivoting into a surprisingly passionate defense of physical media. Sony's push toward an all-digital future sends everyone into full conspiracy mode as they imagine disc burners making a glorious comeback, gamers storming corporate headquarters demanding Blu-rays at gunpoint, and corporations fabricating statistics claiming everyone secretly wants digital-only ownership despite literally nobody they've ever met agreeing with that idea.

The final descent into madness arrives courtesy of Spotify's AI DJ and music recommendation algorithms. Anthony Fantano's opinions spark an all-out war against algorithm-driven music discovery, with everyone agreeing that streaming services have become glorified musical Groundhog Day machines endlessly regurgitating the same artists until listeners forget other bands exist. Spotify's DJ X becomes the episode's ultimate villain—a fake radio host whose only talent is announcing songs everyone already knows before immediately ruining the vibe with wildly inappropriate recommendations. The crew relentlessly mocks its robotic catchphrases, awkward transitions, April Fool's sea shanty pranks, and uncanny ability to confidently recommend songs nobody asked for while pretending it's personally tailored to the listener. By the end of the episode, Spotify's AI DJ has somehow become the symbolic representation of everything wrong with modern music discovery, while Peaches is exposed for maintaining playlists that alternate between crushing emotional devastation and motivational rock therapy depending on which emotional crisis he's experiencing that particular afternoon. The episode concludes exactly where it belongs: somewhere between a support group, a felony planning session, a music industry conspiracy board, and two friends screaming into the void about hotel breakfasts, chocolate-covered bedsheets, and why robots should never be allowed to pretend they're radio personalities.

What is Noon Hour Of Madness & Mayhem?

The Noon Hour Of Madness & Mayhem can be heard live on KBEAR 101 weekdays at 12pm MST. Viktor and Peaches talk about a wide variety of topics depending on the day and you never know what to expect!

The noon hour of madness and mayhem the podcast. So do you think Maynard's lost? Doesn't know where he's going. Got lost on the way there. I can't figure it out, but I feel bad for him just endlessly wandering in that new one from a perfect circle.

Good luck to Maynard. Finding his way. What's up, Peaches? I know Marvin Gay was confused for a while.

What's going on? There's a whole bunch of saws of him asking, huh? What?

Ugh. Song lyrics can be pretty funny sometimes. I haven't actually sat down and read the entire lyrics to the uh new perfect circle song. But I saw somebody complaining about it.

They're like, I don't want to hear about this on my drive. You know. Where am I going? How did I get here?

I'm trying to go to work. Leave me alone, Maynard. I love that classic clip of uh this guy driving a semi, and all you hear is this Kanye West song where he goes, uh drive slow.

He just Connie was just and the truck driver yells back, I am. Uh lots of uh new music has been dropping lately. It was cool to see a perfect circle come back on the scene, and you were telling me about your pick of the day for today, Peaches. Not my pick of the day, the it's so new song. Oh, the it's so new song.

Yeah, the pick of the day today is 156 silence. They uh they have turned into a shoe gaze band, which I still don't know the definition of, but okay. Well, that's interesting and uh well they haven't turned completely, they just have released two songs. I think I played the first one already.

This one's the new, the the latest one called Proxy Idols. Okay. Um it's it's different.

All right. Their last album, people watching. Not only does it have an incredibly creepy cover, but it's also very, very good.

Okay, I'll have to check it out. But then the uh new song, It's So New is a cover of a song that I'm not a very big fan of. So I haven't listened to it yet.

Cruel Summer. Yeah, I saw that that was the song and was like, okay, I'll listen to that later. Well, Sleep Theory has performed these songs live. Uh, but they just have never actually recorded them, but fans have been begging them to do so. Hey, might as well take those fans' money. That's right. Give us your money.

I mean, sleep theory. They're there, they were fun when they were here. They're good dudes.

Yeah, they're good dudes for sure. Are they coming anywhere close? Um, I don't think so.

Okay. I don't think they're touring. Yeah, a lot of a lot of shows coming up, and we're about to, you know, we got the big show, the Melaluca Freedom celebration.

We have the big show where love to meet that guy. But then uh Papa Roach is coming up quick. Um, along with uh Poppy and Motionless and White. Yeah, Motionless White August 7th.

Yeah, there's a there's a lot of good stuff coming up. Uh you want to give me some motel money, Peaches? Gas money. I barely have any money for myself. Yeah, I don't mean to.

I spent it all in that trash can. I'm gonna have to start going through the uh free thing subreddit that popped up a second ago and you know, see what kind of stuff's out there. What do they do in the comments? Just say, I want it, I want it, and then they just give it to someone. They're talking about free things that everyone should take advantage of.

Maybe we should take a look. It's the noon hour of madness and mayhem. Uh Peaches and I were talking about being being broke, uh, rules, fools. Whoa. Going crazy, huh?

Uh during the last break, and it was funny because I had a thread opened about free things online everyone should take advantage of. And I can't imagine that any of them are gonna be very exciting. Well, like I mentioned, you could just go walk into any hotel and just serve yourself breakfast. They're probably not gonna ask. No, I walked into that uh that one particular one in Idaho Falls when my dad and my sister were staying here, and they didn't care at all.

I got myself some Danishes. That was a few years ago. Oh. But I did mention that on the air. I'm like, I might just do that again.

But so then I'm thinking like I think it's technically a theft. Peaches. That means people, the hotel workers. There's bound to be one hotel worker.

Hey, look, there's peaches getting free breakfast. Yeah, I'd probably get spotted too. Like I got recognized at the laundromat that what by like three different listeners. I'm washing my bed sheets.

I'm so glad there wasn't any like stains on them. I did unfortunately just uh since I don't have a dining room table anymore. I've been eating in my bed, and I I get this, I get this uh grilled chicken and rice and broccoli from Panda Express, and they messed up my order yesterday and they just gave me the veggies and the chicken. I'm like, all right, I'll take the hint. I won't have the carbs.

And so I'm like, you know what? I gotta have some sort of sugar. I haven't had it in a while. Let me put the teriyaki sauce on.

Let me treat myself. So I put it on teriyaki sauce is peaches dessert. Yeah, and the water from the chicken or some type of like chicken juice mixed with the teriyaki sauce got on my bed sheets. Ah, the box box tipped over. Yeah. Well, you I think Mecca sent you a photo of when I fell asleep eating chocolate. Oh, really? Didn't didn't that show up on Snapchat? I don't know. She sends like nine plus snaps and they go skip, skip, skip, skip, skip. Because yeah, uh I've woke up a few times in bed with a smashed candy bar under me.

And it doesn't look good. That was a while back, wasn't it? Yeah, it happened again recently, though. I don't know if I wake up in the middle of the night and I just get a sugar craving or something, but I'll just mow down candy and then I wake up and I'm just a mess and I'm covered with brown. Has a there's the title of this podcast. I woke up covered in brown. a, Has a doctor ever talked to you about your uh your bad habit of talking while you sleep. Uh no, because I don't think I talk in my sleep unless someone is talking to me. But like bothering you.

You don't remember, you don't recall any part of that conversation. No, not at all. But that has to be something. Because I I I've been wanting to ask Becca to be like, hey, when Victor falls asleep, let me come over and start talking to him. Yeah, no, it's all it is is her interrupting my good sleep, and then I come in here and I'm like, why am I tired? It's because it does affect your sleep. So you must be slightly awake.

Well, you've got to be. You're not in deep sleep if you're communicating with somebody. And she's not the best sleeper ever. I've woken up in the morning to like uh 4 a.m. Snapchats sent to me from her. So yeah, she tends to wake up. And she's in the hot tub. And her dog's drinking the water. Yeah, she wakes up in the middle of the night very often. And I'm shocked you a lot, shocked you allow that because you know how dogs tons, they have a whole bunch of germs on them. She does it when I'm not looking.

Yeah. I we tell the dog, don't drink the water. Because I mean, it couldn't be good for the dog either. It's you know, you got chemicals in the water.

Right. Hey, have a bunch of chlorine. I know what Alex Jones says. Huh? I know what Alex Jones said. Okay.

Um chemicals in the water. We'll be back in a minute and we'll maybe we will get into the free things that people should take advantage of online. You kind of got me hungry for hotel breakfast. I don't know why, because it's usually crappy.

You know, it's not a good thing. I was gonna say, you just want some poorly made scrambled eggs and some lukewarm sausage patties. Yeah, maybe a nice yo play yogurt or uh uh lukewarm Danish too.

I don't know. I must be whipping up an appetite here because hopefully you don't puke. It's uh I know every time I've eaten in the last two days.

Like I've talked about I talked about it with you yesterday, like there was that time when I first moved out here. I was like, okay, I'm gonna get my health, I'm gonna get my health in in shape or whatever, get myself going. So I started buying these supplements, and I I think there was one particular supplement where it's like, or more blood rushes to your veins for a better pump at the gym. So I I took the that supplement with an energy drink at the time, and I just threw up all multiple times.

I I did it for like two days in a row, then realized the supplement was the problem. Okay. That I threw up all over the Walgreens parking lot.

All right. The one Walgreens that I go to to get my pictures printed. I want I'm shocked they haven't like banned me from that store because usually whenever I go to there, um, there's there's like a little bit of a line at the at the register because for some reason people buy stuff there besides get their photos.

I know what you're talking about. Um so I go to the photo section and there's nobody there. So I'll hit that button that rings a bell throughout the entire store. And I'll hit it repeatedly. Man, you're irritating. Oh, yeah.

Come over here and help me. And there's usually like a worker there in a wheelchair behind the counter. And I think he doesn't move from there.

Yeah, I think he stays at the main counter. So this manager comes walking out and she's all irritated by me repeatedly pressing the button. I need my picture. Yeah, I need to pick up an order for Brendan Peach. How did we even get to oh, we were just talking about puking and eating and yeah, because we were talking about how to get free breakfast earlier. I'm shocked Walgreens hasn't uh released that video of me just all over the all over their lot. Yeah, I'm not gonna say the locations where I vomited from my truck because I don't want people trying to take up footage. So yeah, as we were blabbing here, I was scrolling through this list of things that are free online that everyone should take advantage of.

Um, and it it was just as like boring as I thought. They're like, hey, you can, you know, get get books from the library online, you know, and read a nice e-book. You also could get free things from people's garage sales if you can beat up the owner.

You can also go into a bank and say, hey, they don't know that I know this hack and just scream, put your hands up and hold your concealed carry weapon. Oh, geez. could You could also uh go to an all you can eat buffet and grab a plate, just get a plate full of food and you know, run fast. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it is again called theft. Uh, you can bring in a Tupperware container to one of those buffets and just sprint right out of there. Have a getaway driver. Who cares if they have cameras?

Just run in with the ski mask. Here's where somebody put uh again, they're getting into illegal stuff here. Uh they mentioned torrents.

You know, oh downloading movies and music for free online. I saw those warnings before those movies when I used to open up the DVD case, put in like agent Cody Banks and it goes like you wouldn't steal a house. You wouldn't steal a car.

You wouldn't download a movie illegally. Well, what are they what are they gonna do after Sony stops making discs? It's just gonna lead to rampant piracy again, right? If people aren't able to buy physical copies, people are gonna run into Sony with their with their weapons and go, give me the physical media. Yeah, I would imagine that somebody's already working on cracking the system.

Oh, yeah, for sure. You know, disc burners are gonna come back as a big thing. What if like physical media all of a sudden just makes a huge return because of this?

It could. People are mad. I saw Sony trying to say that 85% of people would prefer that we move to all digital media. Where did they 85% of their stats?

Yeah, I was gonna say, where did they find that 85%? Because I've yet to meet a single person who thinks we should move all digital. Unfortunately, I sold all of my physical media.

Peaches, it's your fault this happened. Oh, I'm trying to like, you know, I was trying to make some extra money to help pay off the car. I got a little bit of balance left. I'm just trying to get there. All right, Peach is.

I'm just trying to get this so I can finally say, you know what? I own something that depreciates in value over time. Owning a car sucks. You buy a new car, especially, you pay all this the extreme amount of money, then you sell it for much less, and then you repeat the cycle. You get yourself a new car that's all decked out. Like if you wanted to get a nice decked out truck, it's gonna be like 70 plus thousand dollars.

Lots of money. Yeah. For sure. Yeah.

I'm I'm sure crazy Carl knows about cars depreciating. I figured out what you should buy. Okay, let me hear it. Lottery tickets. Sure. You know, it's a good investment, Peaches, and you might make the money to pay off your car.

99% of gamblers quit before they win big. All right. Keep going.

Okay, Peaches. So what the heck is a subway take? This guy interviews people on the subway and asks for the their hottest takes. Okay. And usually people will say something outrageous, obviously, and the guy will either say, I wholeheartedly agree or I wholeheartedly disagree. They have this conversation that sparks engagement in the comment section.

Okay. I don't believe that this is on the subway. You think this is a set?

Um well's no random bum asking for money or leaving those uh stickers for five bucks to raise money for whatever cause. Well, it appears that they both have a like a different background. Um Behind Anthony Fantano, you've got a cat drawn on the wall that is sleeping.

I don't know. Do you think he asked if he wanted to go on the actual subway and Anthony Fantano's like, I don't bother with peasants underground. He doesn't seem like a subway kind of guy. Yeah, I'm more of a more of a Jersey Mike's kind of dude.

All right. Well, let's uh let's see what this guy asks Anthony Fantano for a hot take. So what's your take? Algorithms are ruining everyone's music tastes. Hundred percent disagree. Algorithms are not ruining people's music tastes. They're making everyone's tastes more collectively homogenized. And when you look at the fact that the major labels are invested in platforms like Spotify, the pen of artists that they're gonna be pushing to you the most is just gonna get smaller and smaller to their biggest cash cows. Just whack ones. And then it's gonna be like radio in the 2000s all over again.

Okay over and over and over again. I like Spotify Discover because I get a collection of things I've never heard. That's how I discover music. I don't really want to go to some guy and hear a bunch of you should listen to this, because that's I had to uh stop it right there because it's got subtitles, and uh he was gonna say something that we wouldn't have been able to use on air. Oh, good. Um, and then yeah, scrolling, it looks like it keeps going. You'll have to go back and watch it and see what I'm talking about. I uh do agree that algorithms are making music worse.

Um absolutely. You look at if you just run Spotify or Pandora, I mean, it's it's one of the worst just get a variety of music listening experiences you can have. Because it just plays you the same crap over and over. Definitely. Like Pandora's the worst, because it'll be like, well, what kind of stuff you want to hear? Okay, I want to hear tool. And it's just nothing but Maynard. Nothing but Maynard. Well, it's funny is that people who like, you know, oftentimes will go on Facebook or whatever and they'll say, like, I don't listen to the radio, I listen to the listen to Pandora because radio plays the same five songs, but then they listen to the same five songs on Pandora.

I know. Or if you are on Spotify, you're listening to something you like, then they just feed you something that sounds exactly the same. I I've listened to that DJ feature plenty of times. Oh, don't get me started on DJX. I hate DJX.

Becca will leave it on because she knows it makes me crazy. Yo, what's up? We're gonna go back and see what you were up to in 2024. Here you go. Let's lay down a little bit of.

And then it's like something that doesn't fit the vibe of the DJ. No. You know? Yeah, we're gonna go ahead and throw on some Mural Haggard.

My favorite was when my favorite is when DJX was doing that. He's like, yeah, you've been listening to a lot of heavy stuff lately. Well, here's some knocked loose for you.

Feel it. I but like in the middle of him talking, you hear Brian Garrett's like screaming in the background. Stupid DJX. I I can't believe that they haven't gotten rid of that feature, but uh oh, people love it. I I know, and they complain about the radio, and you've got DJX, one of the most useless And it's a, that was a of a DJ program. Yeah. He'll play you four or five songs, and then there'll be like 10 seconds of nothing, and then he'll come on and go, that was Kublai Khan. Exactly.

It's like the worst. Now we're gonna change up the vibe. He was do a leapbook. Yo. That's pretty much it.

That's pretty much it. The worst is when I turn it on in April Fool's Day, and the Spotify decided to pull a prank, and it was like, man, we're gonna start off the morning right. We're gonna play some 1700 C shanties for you.

And it started playing like actual sea shanties. See, now that would be funny. And then I hit the dot, I hit the dies.

April Fools, gotcha player. It's like it's speaking to me like Teddy Lawn. You got you're going one-on-one with The Undertaker.

Do they have multiple voices or is it just him? Okay. Because I bet a lot of people, you know, and there's people out there that are judgmental. Uh that they probably wouldn't like that guy because of the tone of his voice.

Right. I think it's going. I think I think that style of radio is is downright hilarious. I it's so bad.

I love top 40 hip-hop radio imaging. I think it's just so funny to me. I mean, Spotify really is an Spotify with the DJ is an example of why radio sucks so bad. Because yeah, they play a bunch of stuff that all sounds the same. You do hear the same songs over and over again.

Yeah. The DJ has nothing to say. Well, it's funny as uh it's just bad. I I I knew someone that would listen to the DJ feature, and they would just let it roll over and over and over again. And then the next time they got in the car, they hit the button again. And the DJ DJX would go like, hey, yo, you've been listening to a lot of this as of late.

Here we go again. And it's like the same it's the same, it's the same playlist. And they're like, well, it's because you played this for me yesterday.

That's why I've been listening to it a lot. Exactly. DJX kind of sounds to me like CJ from GTX. He does. He does. Ah, here we go again. Well, and you know that it's being funded by the major labels.

Like, like uh Anthony mentioned in this. You know, you've got these major, major music companies that are all invested in Spotify. I got my Spotify open right now. Should I see what he pulls up? Let's see what DJX will play. What's going on? You DJ X here. Let's embrace the music. I'm gonna get things going with some music that's been on your radar. Like this one from the Barbarians of California. Music that's been on your radar.

The barbarians of California. Yeah, I've never even turned that feature on on my phone. I mean, I've I generally only use Spotify for podcasts. I've got a subscription. Oh, I know.

Because of the kids. Your Spotify hat is opened on this computer, and I watch what you listen to sometimes. I was thinking about making you a playlist. All of Peach's saddest songs he listens to while he walks.

Oh, great. We got goodbye, my lover from James Blunt. You know, one of those like 2 a.m. CD commercials where it's like, listen to the most romantic ballads of the 1990s. Like one of those. That's what it'll be.

I should make you a promo. It's like, listen to the most sad songs Peaches listens to while he loses weight. That fatty, and it's like When She Left Me by Sarah McLaughlin. You might get a pretty popular playlist going. Sure.

There's a bunch of you know, pansies out there who want to cry and walk around the road. Oh, yeah. I also have uh another playlist called Keep Your Head Up, Champ. Oh, saw this uplifting rock where it's like the other side from Memphis may fire. They got down the river from nothing more. Life keeps pushing me down the river. I vary between the two. I'm like, okay, I'm sad.

Now I gotta lift myself back up, and I listen to like the light from Disturbed. I know you don't want us to bring back Peaches Needs a Pal, but it's sounding like it peaches. No, no, we're not we're not bringing that back at all. I was about to say, I was about to say some bad words on the air. The noon hour of madness M M is a production of River Band Media Group. For more information or to contact the show. Visit Riverband Media Group.com.