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Let’s break the rules here. The first 5 of these Podcasts get right into practical help. Only after that I get around the long boring, but important stuff on what Anxiety is and does to your body. If you are suffering from anxiety-YOU DAMN WELL KNOW WHAT IT IS!
Let’s fix it!
I created this series as a reaction to all the pop-psychology and pseudo-science advice on the Internet. Patients mentioning these posts make me tired and grouchy.
I am a noted and accomplished clinical psychologist, a scientist and a clinician. These podcasts cut through those weeds of bad advice and give you very usable, practical approaches to calm your ANXIETY. If you want to quickly calm your stress and anxiety, listen in.
The techniques and approaches here are solidly based on the best practices and research in mental health and on the analysis of 6200 successful cases of coping with anxiety. Each episode gives doable techniques to help you NOW! These easy-to-listen podcasts are reassuringly life changing!
00;00;01;08 - 00;00;26;24
Dr. John Mayer
Episode seven anxiety is a bitch. Changing gears. Kids and anxiety. Hello again. Originally in episode seven, I was going to focus on the surprising effects anxiety can have on your body. But I covered enough of these in episode six. Let's move on. But don't go away. I'm going to spend this episode instead on a great topic. Kids and anxiety.
00;00;26;26 - 00;00;50;17
Dr. John Mayer
One of my specialties is helping families. I'm noted throughout the world for helping families be healthier and happier. Because of that, I get interviewed often by journalists asking me about various topics on family life. So I thought I would change up the format here and talk about kids in anxiety. But I will do it through one of the interviews I gave to a journalist on this topic.
00;00;50;19 - 00;01;14;16
Dr. John Mayer
I added a few new comments in my responses to bring things up to date with these podcasts. Otherwise, you're seeing the full interview. Just a side note when journalists interview, it is often quite extensive and they take down all this information. And then you recorded in their article as saying one line, like Doctor Mayer, a noted psychologist, said.
00;01;14;18 - 00;01;45;00
Dr. John Mayer
Yup, that's a problem. It's so true. So let's get into my interview on Kids and Anxiety. Question one are children of anxious parents more likely to develop an anxiety disorder? Why? Children of anxious parents are not more likely to develop an anxiety. They are most definitely going to develop anxiety. This is because anxiety is not like getting a virus.
00;01;45;02 - 00;02;14;17
Dr. John Mayer
They are not randomly transmitted. Whether or not you can be called an anxious person or become an anxious person depends on your coping mechanisms to ward off anxiety. When children grow, they fundamentally learn their most basic and long lasting coping mechanisms from their parents. After all, it's our parents whom we are exclusively surrounded by. For most of our impressionable years.
00;02;14;19 - 00;02;46;28
Dr. John Mayer
And studies show that even well into our teenage years, parents continue to have the biggest influence over our lives. Sorry all you peer pressure fans. If you grew up with anxious parents, by definition they are modeling inadequate coping mechanisms and therefore you will grow up with inadequate coping mechanisms and you will be very susceptible to anxiety. Question two how can parents help their kids from developing anxiety?
00;02;47;00 - 00;03;17;28
Dr. John Mayer
Parents should first realize that experiencing is 80 at some time in your life. Is a part of being human. You cannot completely prevent your kids from developing it, but you can prevent them from being overwhelmed by anxiety. The keys to helping your kids, both from developing anxiety and to lessen the existing anxieties, are modeling and teaching. Modeling is a key, as I mentioned in my response to the first question.
00;03;18;00 - 00;03;48;22
Dr. John Mayer
If your children see you handling anxiety poorly, then it's all but guaranteed that they will copy how you deal with anxiety and approach daily living and anxious parents approach the world with fear, insecurity, and low confidence. I've often told parents in the community lectures I give that a big part of parenting is an act. Don't tell your kids that it's our secret.
00;03;48;24 - 00;04;15;19
Dr. John Mayer
Even if you are an anxious person, try and model effective coping mechanisms in front of your children. Follow the principles I'm laying out in these podcasts. Fall apart behind your bedroom door, for God's sake, but be strong in front of your kids. Now, some parents may think this is being dishonest to hide your distress. Guess what? You're wrong.
00;04;15;21 - 00;04;46;04
Dr. John Mayer
Burdening your kids with your troubles is extremely anxiety provoking for them. Now, if they suffer from anxiety, it's good to let them know that you have had noticed the past tense anxiety in the past. This is comforting to them so that they don't feel that they are alone, and this is only happening to them. But don't cross that fine line into using them as your therapist or confidant.
00;04;46;06 - 00;05;17;03
Dr. John Mayer
Teaching is another key. Teach them how to cope with anxiety. Show them what works for you and what I've been teaching you in these podcasts. Give them specific problem solving techniques. This is all done by open and frequent communication between you and they. Question three. What are some of the things parents can do to keep their own anxiety in check when they're interacting with their child?
00;05;17;05 - 00;05;47;04
Dr. John Mayer
I want to share three powerful techniques that parents can employ to keep their anxiety in check as they interface with their children. Mindfulness meditation and role playing or acting, as I've been calling it here. Mindfulness in this situation means that you are keenly aware of how you are reacting to anxiety, and in turn, how your reactions are being interpreted by your children.
00;05;47;06 - 00;06;16;12
Dr. John Mayer
This will help you model better coping mechanisms. Meditation is a great cleanser to discharge anxiety prior to being in the presence of your children. Do a meditation exercise to reset yourself before being with your kids. This works great. Finally, role playing or acting? I really only want to keep calling this acting, but I fear some people may take that.
00;06;16;13 - 00;06;39;06
Dr. John Mayer
I am advocating parents not to be authentic in front of their kids. That's not the case. My highest values in parenting are to be honest and genuine. But there are times when you have to go beyond your limitations for your kids and you. To do this, you may have to role play or act like someone stronger or better at coping than you normally are.
00;06;39;08 - 00;07;05;09
Dr. John Mayer
Guess what? There's nothing wrong with this and the service of making our kids better. People. Question for how should parents talk to their kids about their own anxiety? Parents should talk about their own anxiety with confidence. It's that modeling and by sharing their solutions, there is there that teaching.
00;07;05;11 - 00;07;33;02
Dr. John Mayer
And their solutions on how they've coped with their anxieties. As I mentioned in question three, often being a parent is acting a role, playing an ideal? That's okay. In fact, we don't do enough of this for our kids while they are young. Later in life, you can be vulnerable, parent with faults and weaknesses, but while they're young and developing, you need to project an image of coping and strength to remember.
00;07;33;08 - 00;08;01;07
Dr. John Mayer
Even if this is role playing for you. Well, there was the interview. All those 973 words probably were referenced in the article as yup, doctor, me or agrees in reflection of what I said in this interview, I want to emphasize that all the principles and techniques that I'm detailing in these podcasts series apply to kids of all ages.
00;08;01;09 - 00;08;31;11
Dr. John Mayer
I want to especially call your attention to episode five and sleep. Helping kids get better sleep is so important and lasts a lifetime. In fact, since I'm not using offensive language or being absolutely politically incorrect in each of these episodes, feel free to have all the kids listen in. In fact, number two. Geez. Make some popcorn and gather everyone around the 82 inch screen in the living room and make it a family event.
00;08;31;14 - 00;08;50;06
Dr. John Mayer
Well, that's all for now. In the next episode, number eight, I'm going to discuss performance anxiety. See you then.