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Are you a new parent or parent of twins and multiples? Do you want to thrive, rather than just survive?
Welcome to our show - a modern, step, by step guide to get you best set up for thrivival!
No outdated, frumpy or stuffy content - we're for NEW parents, we are new parents and we have found the best of the best experts, research and stories. If you're time poor - look no further - community and support building, efficiency hacks and tools, pregnancy, symptom management, partner support, body, bust, skin, hair, postpartum recovery, PND, logistics and travel, parenting twin psychology, childcare need-to-knows, returning to work and more!
I'm Emily, a twin and twin mum. I have researched extensively the best tips, efficiency hacks, expert advice. Books, white papers, medical papers, online groups, articles - sifted through it all, for you. I hope this podcast helps you best navigate this exciting time.
If you have guest recommendations or ideas, feedback - please DM my on socials or email hello@dwoh.group
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Podcast: Hey There Thivival
Hi everyone.
Welcome to Hey, their Survival.
I'm your host Emily, parent of
twins and a twin, as well as being
very passionate about all things
thriving, not just surviving.
Today's guest is Brendan
Smith, a dad of three.
First, he and his wife Christie,
had their son Oscar then, surprise,
they got lucky with twin girls.
Today, Brendan shares his insights on
what it's like to be a partner and a
dad, how to care for yourself, and also
caring for your family and parenthood.
What he's learned, his top tips
and best product recommendations.
As always, if you enjoy the
show, I would really appreciate
if you can rate and review us.
So the algorithm places a show in front
of other parents who need support.
Okay, let's jump in.
Emily: Brenda, and welcome to the podcast.
It's so great to have you here today.
today you're gonna be talking to
new parents, new dads and partners
about tips and tricks, and a
little bit about your journey.
how about you give us an introduction
about who you are and your family.
Brendan Smith: Awesome.
I am Brendan.
It's good to be here.
Emily.
I am a father of three, I've got one
6-year-old boy Oscar, and then two.
Very active twins, 4-year-old
twins, Olivia and Evelyn.
it's been quite a journey to get to
where we are now with three kids.
It's good to be, a part of the show.
And I'm hoping, through this podcast
I can give you a little bit of insight
into what it's like to be a dad.
what you should be out for and the
things you can look forward to and
the challenges that go with it.
Emily: Wonderful.
Well, look, I think there's going
to be a lot of interest in this.
I already have interest actually
from a few dads that have mentioned
they'd love to hear from you.
Brendan Smith: No
Emily: So looking forward,
no pressure at all.
I'm looking forward to getting into it.
as a dad that's had one child and
then you've had the twins, I think
that's quite an interesting journey.
And that's what my mom actually
had with my older sister.
And then my sister and I are twin.
Brendan Smith: There you go.
Emily: that was the eighties.
So a bit different.
but I think it'll be a really
interesting perspective.
And there's a lot of people out
there, of course, who do have one,
then twins or triplets or, you
know, whatever their mix might be.
So Brendan, you've touched on this
a bit, but is there anything else,
other key points that you think the
audience should tune in for, that
you think are particularly, valuable?
Brendan Smith: all I can really do
is share my experiences and that
the mindset and the changes that
you go through from you first.
Find out, that you and your wife are
pregnant, or you and your partner
are gonna have a child, through,
the reality of having a kid, how
that impacts you or how that can
really, force change upon you.
and I guess how I took it at the
time and how I look at it from
a hindsight perspective, and
the takeaways that I think that
people will get out of it is that.
You need to become
comfortable with change.
You know, things don't always go to
plan, so plan accordingly, is probably
one takeaway that I would have.
There is, and I think, forcing yourself
to accept that you are very much on a
different trajectory to what you were.
Before you had kids back when you could
be just completely selfish and do whatever
you decided to do on any given moment.
And now you're responsible for a whole
pack of people and how you deal with that
change and how you embrace it, is probably
either the biggest challenge or the most
rewarding, thing that you can embrace,
Emily: I love that.
Well, there's a lot of people that
will be starting their journey.
Some of them may be in the midst of
it, some of them with the possibility.
So I think there'll be some
really, good insights there.
let's move on to the first, question.
With you and your partner,
Christie, of course.
Did you think before you had kids
around, how you were both parented,
what those styles were, and then how
you might want to approach it moving
forward, and what traits you did
wanna bring and what you might avoid?
Brendan Smith: It's a
Emily: I
Brendan Smith: It's a really
challenging sort of thing to.
To prepare for.
you have,
Emily: mm-hmm.
Brendan Smith: think most people have
these hypothetical discussions on and off.
when you have a partner full stop,
how you would do it, 'cause you
obviously can judge people when you're
in public and things like that and
how you would envisage, parenting.
But it's 24 7, it's not
this sort of snippet.
You're like, oh, in this situation
I would behave this way and.
I would do this blah, blah, blah.
think that, that's probably
one of the biggest challenges
is that it's a 24 7 job.
It's, when you are tired and worn out,
still got to continue to, to parent,
So terms of how I try to approach
things it's a lot to cover off.
building a space.
Within our four walls or within our
sphere of safety is about giving the
kids, freedom to express themselves
and be comfortable to be themselves
and build that level of confidence.
I think that's one of the big things
that I've really, we try to do together.
And that's something that
we, built up over time.
I mean, we've been together since
we were, teenagers essentially.
Emily: Oh wow.
Brendan Smith: So we've been together a
Emily: I.
Brendan Smith: and we traveled
a lot before we had kids.
we went backpacking for a year or
two and worked overseas and we'd
been in situations where we were
really put under a lot of pressure.
Emily: Mm-hmm.
Brendan Smith: at the time, when
you're 20 odd and you haven't had a
lot of life experience and you're put
in situations where you can't speak
a language, you dunno where you are.
don't have any reception,
all these sort of things.
Emily: Mm-hmm.
Brendan Smith: we found, we sort of had
these arguments and we stormed together
when we were younger, and then we found
was under pressure we were united.
And that became our mantra as parents.
So often than not, if, if it does
devolve into an argument in the house,
it's Christie and I verse the kids.
a way, it's that you neither
under pressure kind of thing.
So when, uh, yeah, when one of us
is starting to, you know, maybe lose
our cool or, you know, not up to
the challenge, I guess in any given
moment, the other one usually can see
it, recognizes the signs and says,
okay, you go for a sit on the roof or
something, you know, just take some time
to yourself I'll handle this situation.
And I say I the, the term moment
because like I say, it's a 24 7 job.
Sometimes you only need five minutes
to refresh and you can come back in.
So in terms of how we parent, I think
it's a, it's a genuine approach.
it's not so much a focused
effort of saying, this is how
we parent at any given moment.
Because like I say, not
everything goes to plan.
Having that, accepting that
things don't go to plan.
Forgiving yourself if you say
things that you don't mean to.
Being humble enough to, even with your
kids, asking forgiveness or apologizing
or explaining your own behavior wasn't
very, appropriate in any given moment.
You
Emily: Mm-hmm.
Brendan Smith: it's that thing
that people get things wrong.
You can also move on from it and you
can grow from it is probably, our
man, our mantra, So I think it's that
united under pressure and as we're
getting older, like, I mean, with
Oscar, you can actually negotiate,
bribe, do all those fun things you can
Emily: Okay.
Brendan Smith: get, get
them on board as well, so,
Emily: Mm-hmm.
Brendan Smith: Hmm.
Emily: So becoming a united front
together so that you are an aligned team.
Now, I must say I've seen that work
really well elsewhere, so I love that.
and then understanding that
you will make mistakes.
being able to work through with those.
I think that'll be some great,
great takeaways for the audience.
thank you for going through that.
So if we are talking to people who
are in that early stage, they're
looking at pregnancy and then going
to land into postpartum, that's.
The, afterbirth, what were some of the
changes that you saw in your partner in
terms of, physical, mobility, cognitive
and memory, energy levels, and nutrition.
And the reason I ask this is try to
give people an insight if their partner
is pregnant or about to be postpartum.
What sort of things should they look out
for or be aware of that might happen?
their partner, obviously pre-pregnancy to
these sorts of phases is quite different.
Brendan Smith: Yeah, it's
hard tovey the experience.
you can definitely give generic
descriptions, but there was
one book that I did read.
You meant to read each chapter
each month the pregnancy.
But one of the things that made me laugh,
'cause I would share, these chapters
with Christie around what it would
explain, it was very much focused, it.
men who don't have to go
through a pregnancy, physically.
and one of the comments was around,
you know, one of the chapters
was, watching your partner's
body go from fun to function.
I.
And we sort of, we laughed about
it at the time, but is something
that you, you definitely, you were
observing, you're watching your
partner go through these physiological
changes and they go through cravings,
things that they didn't want before.
Christie would become very demanding
for things like watermelon and,
Oscar was born on the 30th of
December, so it was very hot.
as you get towards the end of it
becoming more and more uncomfortable.
And you talk about memory,
memory, fog and things like that.
And it's one of those things where because
you've never been through it before,
you do need to be accepting feedback or
to remind yourself that these changes
that the other person is going through
is something that is perfectly normal.
But you might not realize it 'cause
you'd be like, we had this chat,
yesterday, or we talked through this,
or why do you need more watermelon?
You've just eaten all this watermelon
So, and I think it's just accepting that,
again, you are, you are fallible too.
You know, giving yourself a hard time
on these things is not necessarily
the right way to go forward.
It's not productive to beat yourself
up if you're forgetting that your
partner's going through something
that's far more demanding on their
body than what you are going through.
Right?
So
Emily: Mm-hmm.
Brendan Smith: in that lead up.
having a child.
it's so scary.
You know when you are, when you're first
Emily: Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Brendan Smith: away the romance or
the, the, the, that sort of excitement
of, yes, maybe, yes, maybe kind of
thing of, of a natural pregnancy you
Emily: Mm-hmm.
Brendan Smith: to administer needles
together and, go through that every
day and it can play with hormones and.
All sorts of stuff.
So it's its own challenge, but reminding
yourself through that process to have a
bit of fun and take stock of the journey.
Know it's not always a rush, know,
it might not happen straight away,
but you work your way through it.
But that happens.
The
Emily: Mm-hmm.
Brendan Smith: starts progressing
and there was an app that we had,
I can't remember the name of it,
but I'm sure I can send it through.
It was what, starts as a pea
size and it tells you what's
happening each week and so on.
you're going through that and we
would do that every Friday morning,
whatever, when it was the next
week working our way through it.
Then you're
Emily: Yeah.
Brendan Smith: scans, which are,
you feel like me and gets quite,
I get quite uncomfortable around
hospitals, needles, things like that.
You go,
Emily: Mm-hmm.
Brendan Smith: closer and you get to the
scans and you're panicked, you're worried
your blood pressure goes through the roof
kind of thing, and then the scan's fine.
Or you might have some sort of
anomaly and you're working through it.
And that process it just gets towards
the end of the pregnancy and you're like,
ah, and you as a man, or you know, you as
the partner who isn't pregnant, you are.
You're starting to think,
when is this gonna be over?
And you not even the one who's, pregnant.
and yeah, and I think that's it.
You've gotta remind yourself
that what you are going through
is tough and it is legitimate.
It is a, it is a legitimate thing
to be asking for guidance or support
on, but your partner's also going
through that plus a little more.
You know, quite frankly, it's
probably more than a little more,
especially for some and, and just.
Emily: with
Brendan Smith: Especially with twins.
Exactly.
it's quite a shock to the system,
for people who get through twins.
I think the, the takeaways there in
terms of support is by all means,
you are there as the more mobile
partner in most cases to support, your
pregnant partner through this process,
sure that they're getting everything
they need, that they're spending
time, getting the sleep they need.
If you can afford it.
They're not overworking, if they need to.
reduce hours, things like that.
'cause money's not everything.
your mental health has to come first, I
think, doing all those little things, to
help them, and I do mean little things,
it might be just cleaning up after
yourself if you're the kind of person
who's not so, know, diligent or, and
then doing the little things like house.
all those little bits and pieces that
just compile up that, can get in the way.
but I just touching back on the
point of you do need to look after
yourself, is important because
you're useless to other people.
And I did have nurses say say that
to me through pregnancy where they're
like, you are useless to us and you
are useless to your partner if you are
gonna be, you know, worn out, run down.
Get
Emily: Mm-hmm.
Brendan Smith: rest.
Don't be afraid to ask for help if you've
got a network of people around you.
I'm fortunate that we've got my
parents, my in-laws that are relatively
close by and we've got, close friends
and brothers, siblings sisters
and so on who can support You'd be
surprised how many people are willing.
you a hand through that.
So if you do need people to talk to or
just someone to quite frankly just vent,
you don't have to overthink, venting.
Just say whatever you want and people
will just go, yeah, I hear you.
that sounds terrible.
Let me know if you need anything.
It can can very much help.
Emily: Mm-hmm.
Okay.
really good points.
And to recap, you talked about being aware
of the hormonal and the physical changes,
the partner being less mobile, and then
also looking after yourself, which I
think is, is really important as well.
Like your wise nurses said, you are
no good to someone if you are not in
a great place to support your partner.
It is.
I think it's a lot for both for.
People who have a partner or solo,
but if you have a partner, really
important that they feel like they're
looking after themselves and finding
ways to fill it, fill their cup.
So what do you think was one of the main
areas that you helped, if you were to
describe your key role where you think
that you knocked it out of the park,
and maybe you can give a quick example.
Brendan Smith: I think things that, a
multitude of things that you need to
really do, and then you get every bit
of advice on every bit of social media
and every book, and every everything.
you're not gonna get everything right.
And I think it's important to understand
your, you know, where, where you
can help and not a mind reader.
I think it's, it's super important
to just, to have that conversation.
basically how can I help you?
a good way to approach things.
you might say, oh look,
I've done all this work.
I mowed the grass.
But that might not be what's important.
Your partner might want you just to
sit down with them and spend some
time with them or take 'em to dinner
Something that is just that you or might
think oh, but I did everything else.
But it might not have been important.
a priority.
Why are you working on the car when
your partner just wants a little
bit of time with you, A bit of
Emily: Mm-hmm.
Brendan Smith: of emotional support.
So it's probably a bit of
communication is quite, useful to,
Emily: Mm-hmm.
Brendan Smith: that you're aligning.
You might start with, Hey, I'm
gonna go and do all these things.
Is there anything you'd rather me
do you know, your partners, you
know you're gonna have dinner.
So maybe sometimes it's not saying,
what do you want for dinner?
Which just sort of compounds, you know,
maybe they're having a bad day and then
you're making them think about what
they want to eat as opposed to just
saying, I'm gonna take care of dinner.
Leave it to me.
more often than not, there's not many
people that go, how dare you making
one of my favorite foods for dinner
or sort dinner out, it's as simple
as just taking some initiatives
So the basic things around, say dinner,
cleaning, doing the washing, that
sort of stuff, take a bit of that load
away and then aligning on the bigger
things around that needs to happen.
Say, setting up the kids' bedroom.
I, pretty much useless when
it comes to interior design,
Emily: Mm-hmm.
Brendan Smith: you know, having a trade
background work in construction, I'm
pretty good at sorting it out though.
if you tell me the
parameters, I want it to be a.
Yellow room with a
floating bunk, it's sorted,
Emily: Mm-hmm.
Brendan Smith: we've got it
I think it's a little bit of
taking the reins there can help.
Emily: Mm-hmm.
Brendan Smith: it, but each,
each individual, right?
I think it probably comes back
to that point of communication.
So I think I did that pretty well.
Don't get me
Emily: Mm-hmm.
Brendan Smith: days where I, would
go off and have a brain explosion,
but I think fundamentally, the way we
navigated a lot of that, that stressful
period of going through the unknown
Emily: Mm-hmm.
Brendan Smith: process was very much
around being open and honest with each
other around what's hurting, what's, More
Emily: Mm-hmm.
Brendan Smith: to do.
Emily: Okay.
So communication, being intuitive
and I know things which will
make it better, like the dinner.
no one has ever said they don't want
their favorite food made for them.
I think you're very, right.
let's talk about connecting
with your new baby.
you are a dad of one plus twins.
What were some ways which helped you
connect with them and maybe some,
through the pregnancy to after?
love your tips as to how you've.
Progress through that once the,
the kids were on the outside.
Brendan Smith: I find it, I
found it really, what's the word?
I felt a little bit, weird at first,
especially when you have your first
Emily: Mm-hmm.
Brendan Smith: Because again, you
read these things or you hear.
Anecdotes around people.
Oh, the moment this baby was born,
I felt this immediate, incredible
bond that could never be broken.
it's not great to hear when you
don't feel the same way immediately.
It's
Emily: Mm-hmm.
Brendan Smith: people it takes months for
that bond to get really, really strong.
Right?
And it's not that you're
obviously not feeling.
Paternal.
Emily: Mm-hmm.
Brendan Smith: you hear this rhetoric
and it doesn't necessarily help.
and I've got, I have mates that were
like, oh, immediately this is incredible.
This is the only thing
I ever wanted, ever.
Whereas, for me it was this
thing, I've now got this.
Little noisy baby I need to look after.
And it was of process of building,
spending more and more time together.
and I mentioned earlier around
that change, acceptance of change.
that was a really, that was a really
hard thing for me to do, right?
Because we had a lot of time.
We had our careers, both of us, and we
had a, a relatively active lifestyle and
now our life revolve very much around.
A newborn baby, which, Oscar, bless him.
he didn't really wanna sleep
very well for two to three years.
And in that time we had twin girls
who didn't really wanna sleep all
the way up until the last six months.
So go from this.
where Christie used to like to have 10
to 12 hours worth of sleep every night.
It's world where you don't have any.
So you're,
Emily: So abrupt.
Brendan Smith: Isn't it?
Right.
So we went from that to.
You're in the, you're in the trenches
where you've got a baby They need
your help, they need feeding.
and they feed every few hours and, I
think in most cases, babies do not sleep.
you get three to four hours tops,
three to four hours, 24 7, 6
Emily: Mm-hmm.
Brendan Smith: months, you're lucky.
2, 3, 4 years if you're not right.
in hindsight you look back and go,
how do you get through that fog?
And people say, oh, it's
amazing how you got through it.
But you sort of zombie your
way through that and you
Emily: Mm-hmm.
Brendan Smith: I think it comes back to
that point around united under pressure,
prioritizing what you really need to do.
In terms of getting through as a
unit, making sure that you are,
giving each other as much as you can.
Right.
And I think when you are got a
partner who's breastfeeding or
having challenges like we did
it's incredible how much pressure,
gets put on a, a breastfeeding In
Emily: Mm-hmm.
Brendan Smith: oh, you go to
the clinics and you have, have
physical, damage from trying to
Emily: Mm-hmm.
Brendan Smith: and they'll just be
like, oh, just, just, keep doing it.
Just keep doing it.
And it does not compute.
And it's, and I don't wanna upset
any, doctors, dieticians or whoever.
But in the end, I come back to
that point around that mental
health, if you need time.
There are alternatives, it's giving your
partner the, the confidence and ability to
actually stop and say, this is hurting me.
I can't go any further.
I'm going to formula or whatever it is.
And it's showing them that you are a unit.
I'm sure most partners would agree
that they'd rather see their partner
happy, enjoying their relationship
with their babies rather than.
Forcing them to conform to, to a, to
a rule I think is probably the point.
Best practice is best.
Doesn't mean other practice
is terrible, right.
Emily: Mm-hmm.
Brendan Smith: so I think, from my
perspective, one of the things I did
well there was actually providing that
sport to say, no, forget, but this
person says let's go see another doctor.
'cause in the end,
doctors have different opinions, you
can go and get different approaches.
still achieve a great outcome.
all our kids fit in healthy, and we
didn't follow everything by the book.
Right.
It's, elements of gray
with everything, I guess.
Emily: Yeah, I think that's a really
good call out we saw that as well,
especially when you are in the,
maternity ward after the babies arrive.
The different advice from the,
midwives that are in the morning versus
the nighttime versus the next day.
Brendan Smith: That's it.
And
Emily: you like the
other midwives said this
Brendan Smith: exactly.
Especially when you get a
Emily: a bit confusing.
Brendan Smith: right?
And it's like, okay, off you
go, go home off your truck.
And you're just like, but
what do I do with this thing?
you know, panicking, you know, it's
still alive, these kind of things.
but like I said, if you don't like
the advice that you get from one
person, go and get second advice.
Go and get third advice.
Try different clinics, these things
and, and, and form your own opinion.
I think that's, Something that I, I would
also recommend, I've got an older brother,
with kids, I've got friends with kids,
I've got my own parents, and everyone has
their own style of parenting or their own
style of, discipline or, or how they, how
they navigate it through this process.
And, and no one has the same story,
hence why there's not one rule book, you
Emily: Mm-hmm.
Brendan Smith: finding your own rhythm.
Emily: So Brendan, you are a
dad three, including twins.
I would love to get your top products
or hacks that you would pass on.
So maybe like one or two that you think
is a must have or need to know for people.
Brendan Smith: Yeah.
so if you're using formula, We had
the little, the thing that would
heat it up to the right temperature.
Yeah.
I can't remember what it
Emily: Mm-hmm.
Brendan Smith: you just
basically, you take the.
Fridge milk, boom into the thing,
hit the button and it would just
heat it up to the right temperature.
Perfect.
Done.
Emily: Yep.
Brendan Smith: that for the twins.
We had that easy pillow so you
could have both the twins set up
so you could feed both at once.
It was the M shape where
like you just had it wrap
Emily: white
Brendan Smith: the back and it
Emily: Twin Z?
Brendan Smith: the back a bit.
Yeah, twin Z, that's the one.
Emily: Yeah,
Brendan Smith: it, it was
Emily: I.
Brendan Smith: but I think,
as a twin parent, you have to
get the twin, the feeding down
path for both at the same time.
Otherwise you're just losing more
time 'cause you're up every two,
three hours and it's supremely
difficult for one parent.
the breastfeeding parent to try
and do that by themself, right?
And if you're having any issues
with supply or you're not using
formula it's so difficult.
So I think finding, finding a good rhythm
for that, getting that, getting that
prepared when you've got the energy.
Again, don't be afraid to ask
for help if you need people to
put things in little sachets.
because it's basically, if you've got
formula, it's like protein shakes, right?
So you just, you can basically
Emily: Yep.
Brendan Smith: those out and have
multiple bodies ready and you just go,
right, fill water, bang, 'em all ready.
It's the away you go and
it's, it's just right?
if those first few months, in
terms of hacks, I've always been
a big fan of trying to merge
as much of that as you can.
and quite frankly, from the people I talk
to, usually people find that they, oh,
I don't see much of my friends anymore.
I hang out with the school group.
I guess that's more a point of.
That's actually just changing it and
merging two worlds, Where you've got
your family and your friends are now the
school group, So that's a merged world.
So find that if you can merge those
kind of things where the people you're
having fun with are the people that
you also have fun with your family.
all of a sudden it's not this
thing where I need time out
to hang out with my friends.
It's actually merged all together, right?
Where you can actually
spend time with the family.
So you have people over.
Kids can play in the background
or do whatever it is, jump around,
go to the park and you can have
your friends there too, doing it.
And as they get older, like Oscar is, he's
six, you can start to do the things, if
you're a bit more active and like doing
football or soccer whatever, you can
start to do that with your kids as well.
And I think that's, clever.
it's a way that you can get the
best of both worlds and if you
like the exercises, things like.
And I have a home gym up
Emily: Mm-hmm.
Brendan Smith: waste time commuting.
I go and I exercise in the morning
and the kids start to emerge.
They come out all of a sudden,
you're, they've got little, you know,
weights or little exercises they
like to try and do at the same time.
don't get me wrong, it's super hard
mentally to try and do an exercise
routine while you've got kids
asking questions at the same time.
But
Emily: Yeah.
Brendan Smith: it is what it is.
Emily: Yeah, I'm quite impressed by those.
I like that the, the gym, at home
is a really good one as well,
because then, yeah, you get to
keep doing something which keeps
you the best version of yourself.
Brendan Smith: Hmm.
Emily: Very good.
Okay, we've, we've gone
through, a few different areas.
We talked about the
approach, through pregnancy.
family mantra, common challenges.
Supporting your partner, looking after
yourself, and also quality of support
and advice, connection, recharging,
and self care and then your top tips.
I'd love to end this on a positive
note and hear about what's one of your
favorite memories from, parenthood and
really stands out clearly in your mind.
Brendan Smith: things that really
stand out for me as a parent.
I really enjoy watching, kids laughter
kids enjoying themselves and mucking
around together is always fantastic.
But I really enjoy watching
them push boundaries, Yes.
people, worry about health and safety.
They may not so much.
Watching kids learn how to ride
bikes, watching kids, you know,
the first time my son played with
Hammer drill, those kind of things.
Um.
I think it's, I like watching
kids have a go at things you know,
that they could hurt themselves.
You know, you take a measure
of, you know, risk, know, a
measure of control goes into it.
But watching them learn, watching
them grow, watching 'em push any
kind of boundary, like even sort
of yelling back or talking back
and all these sort of things.
And they, learn consequences of
their actions regardless if it's
falling off a bike or if it's.
hitting each other.
it's so rewarding though, watching them
get better or learn a lesson and seeing
them actually progress through and enjoy.
my girls have been on their bikes, since
they were, three they'll, they were
hammer down the street, top speed, no,
no training wheels or anything, and you
just think this is gonna end so badly.
But then they do a big skid and they stop.
And you think.
Yeah, so it's all good.
I think it's, it's rewarding
to, to, to teach, to be able to
actually coach kids how to be
getting a little bit, new skills,
Emily: Mm-hmm.
Brendan Smith: climbing under the,
getting under the house and me,
pulling cables and stuff like that.
they get into it and they enjoy it
it's, It's fun to, to watch them
grow and get better at things.
So now, Oscar will read to his
sisters, saves me doing it.
just watching, watching that growth.
There's not a lot of, not a lot more
in, in this world that's enjoyable.
watching, your kids pick up
something that you've taught them
and then watching them teach their,
their siblings, is excellent too.
this year I'm gonna be
coaching the soccer team.
I.
Which is, which is gonna
be a new challenge.
but same thing, it's the same
team that Oscar's in last year.
it's, I think if, you are worried
about parenting and you're going into
this new journey and you are close to,
you've just had a baby, you know, close
to having a baby now, so hard all, I
will say, it is so difficult, but like
anything that's worth doing, know,
it's always gonna be challenging and.
The good news is as you get a bit older
and they f when they first smile and
they first start talking and they start
taking, relatively amusing risks, just
make sure you have your camera ready,
and they start to progress through
that and build up these life skills
Emily: That's a really beautiful
way to end it, Brendan.
Well, thank you so much
for coming on the podcast.
I think you've got lots of gold
nuggets in there that people can take
away and use for their own journey.
So thank you so much, Brendan.
Really enjoyed having a chat with you.