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The Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe Podcast Collection is the one-stop shop for the Torah inspiration shared by Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe in one simple feed. The Jewish Inspiration Podcast, Parsha Review Podcast, Thinking Talmudist Podcast, Living Jewishly Podcast and Unboxing Judaism Podcast all in one convenient place. Enjoy!
00:01 - Intro (Announcement)
You're listening to Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe of Torch in Houston, Texas. This is the Ask Away series on the Everyday Judaism Podcast. To have your questions answered on future episodes, please email AskAway@torchweb.org. Now ask away!
00:23 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
All right, welcome back everybody to to the Everyday Judaism podcast, to the Ask Away segment of our Ask Away series of our Everyday Judaism podcast. It is wonderful to be here. This is the 13th episode of our Ask Away series. Any question that you have I will attempt to answer. I don't guarantee. If I don't know the answer I'll tell you. I don't know. I'll try to be honest, but we have a couple of fresh new faces here and we're so delighted that you're here. Miriam's already an old-timer, so she's so young, but she's already here for so long. So we're so excited to hear questions from you. Miriam, go ahead. What's your question?
01:04 - Ed (Guest)
My question today is what is the origin of Amen and if it is said after a blessing, does the rabbi who gives the blessing say Amen?
01:20 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
Okay.
01:20
So that's a very good question. The word amen literally means I affirm, I affirm, it's true. And what we're saying is, when someone recites a blessing is we're adding ourself to that blessing, saying I affirm what you're saying is true, amen, all right. Amen means like from the term emet, it's true, it's true, yes, I put my vote with this prayer. So if a person says I thank Hashem for everything he's done, he's so kind, he's so generous, he's so compassionate, he's so loving, and we say amen, so we're saying yes, I approve and I agree, I put my name on it as well. Now, the original source for this is from the three letters of El Melech Ne'eman. El Melech Ne'eman is three words where God is the trusted king. The acronym of those three words is Amen, el Melech Ne'eman. And when we say Amen, when we say yes, I affirm, we're included in it.
02:35
Now, a person who recites a blessing is not supposed to answer Amen to their own blessing, because that would be like duplicitous. What do you mean? I'm saying the blessing and I'm saying amain to my. That doesn't, doesn't make sense, right? I wouldn't say yes and I affirm that what I'm saying is true, right? That would be seem only, it would seem odd. So, therefore, only those who hear the blessing should recite amain. The only time that we see that someone says amain is when they're saying like a Kaddish. At the end of the Kaddish we say and now let us say ameen. Where they say it in unison, the whole congregation says ameen, meaning the leader or the rabbi or the mourners who recite Kaddish, they'll say v'imru ameen, he's informing the congregation. Now is time for you to say ameen. Now is time. They'll say vi'imru amayn. He's informing the congregation. Now is time for you to say amayn. Now is time for you to say this is your chance to reaffirm what it is that was declared so in any blessing that a person recites.
03:37
For this reason, our sages tell us that blessings should be recited aloud, out loud. Why? Because now, if you recite a blessing for yourself, you wash your hands and you recite the blessing of Al-Nitilat Yudayim, you have bread, right, you're about to break bread and you recite the blessing of Hamotzi Lechem in Aretz, so you're glorifying God's name. If you say it quietly to yourself, nobody else can join in on that. But if you say it out loud now, every person who answered Amen is a merit for you, because now they all reaffirmed that blessing, that gratitude to the Almighty, glorifying God's name. Ah. So now you've just expanded your merits, you've just taken your blessing up a notch, a big notch, because now other people answered amin. When someone answers amin, they're attaching themselves to that blessing. Now it's also very important that if you're fulfilling someone else's blessing for example, if someone doesn't know how to recite a blessing you say no, no, I'll recite the blessing for you. Then they have to listen and I'll give you an example Not even if they don't know, if someone is fulfilling the mitzvah for you, like if someone's blowing the shofar.
04:55
So we're in the congregation, we're standing in synagogue on Rosh Hashanah, and the person who's going to blow the shofar if it's the rabbi or the leader of the congregation, whoever it is before they blow the shofar they recite a blessing. Now, I don't recite the blessing as a congregant, most of the congregation won't recite the blessing. Only the person who's blowing the shofar will recite the blessing and he has everybody in mind. Therefore, everybody needs to recite amayin after that blessing, because they say say yes, this is my fulfillment of that mitzvah that I'm going to hear. This blowing of the shofar is going to be fulfilled by that blessing and therefore I need to answer amin, I need to include myself in that blessing, so to speak. So it is appropriate for a person who recites a blessing not to answer a main to their own blessing, only the people who hear it, not the person actually reciting the blessing. All right, miriam, did I answer your question sufficiently? Okay, great, excellent, thank you, great, great question. Who's got the next question?
06:05 - Jimmy (Guest)
Can I speak along with that blessing? Of course we at our dinner table or at any of our eatings, say the Motz and we all say Amen. So we're incorrect.
06:28 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
So here's the thing is that if you're all saying it together, then you can answer amen to someone else's blessing. Okay, you're answering amen to someone else's blessing. For example, if I wash my hands. Once you wash your hands before eating bread, there's a blessing that you recite and you're not supposed to talk till you Break the bread now, till you recite the blessing for the bread and you actually eat the bread. Now what happens? If someone else says a blessing of Al-Nitilat Yadayim after washing their hands, even though you're not supposed to talk, you can answer Amen to that blessing. So what I'm understanding you're doing is everyone is reciting the blessing, but when you say amain, you're reciting amain to what their blessing as well. It's not necessary. It's not necessary and if it's possible to avoid saying the amain, great, it's definitely a beautiful thing that everyone is saying amain to each other's blessings.
07:27 - Ed (Guest)
You said that Jews are not cruel, and if they are cruel, you got to inspect their lineage. Did anybody ever inspect Bernie Madoff's lineage? Because that was the first name that came to me when you said Jews aren't cruel.
07:39 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
Oy vey, oy vey. Okay, so first is, we're only supposed to speak well of those who are deceased, so I'm going to try my best here. There's definitely a huge mistake that he made in his life. Was it cruelty? Yes, most likely. I believe that if someone asked Mr Madoff about his desire to hurt people, I can bet you that he didn't have a desire to hurt people. He didn't do it out of ill will, he did it out of he got carried away Meaning. You know and I'm not in any way contoning what he did there's a lot of many, many people who I know who were terribly harmed by Mr Madoff, but I think that what it needs to do is awaken all of us to ensure that everything we do is above board, because I guarantee you, he did not set out at the beginning to steal $60 billion from people. He started by cheating a little bit on a little rounding error, a little tax over here six hundred dollars less six thousand dollars, sixty thousand dollars, six hundred thousand, and before you know it, it was sixty billion dollars that it mushroomed into this enormous uh, uh scandal. Even one dollar, even one dollar, is lying. Is is cheating. So you know, I don't think that it should be any more severe. 60 billion than six dollars. It's terrible, it doesn't make a difference. Yeah, now, one is terrible because it can diminish people's entire wealth, and one most people. Six dollars, I can handle that, right, that's not, but still it doesn't make a difference, because someone who's being dishonest is dishonest. It doesn't make a difference the amount they're being dishonest with. So, in fact, right now there's an alarm from Israel for rockets that are incoming to Israel. So I want to dedicate the Torah, the inspiration that we are learning and growing together right now, to the merit of our brothers and sisters in Israel, and Hashem should protect them and defend them and hopefully keep them safe from the hands of our enemies.
09:55
But back to your question. It's a serious question because many people were harmed, because many people were harmed and there's no justification for someone doing something like that. But we have to find a way to find the positive of every person. Meaning to be Dan l'Kav Zichut to judge every person favorably. And yeah, he may have made mistakes. I can bet you he has terrible, he had terrible regret for every single penny that he has stolen from people. We know that the Hadassah organization, I think, invested with him $90 million. That's an enormous amount of money that they lost.
10:37
I know that other Jewish institutions, many Jewish institutions, you know, and the problem with these Ponzi schemes I don't know why it's called Ponzi. I mean, mr Ponzi, the original scheme was probably $30 million. So, like you know, it should be called the Madoff scheme, right, but Ponzi got away with something right. But either way, I think that it's something which should be investigated within ourselves to ensure that we don't fall into a similar trap in any way, because that's something that damages and hurts a lot of people. It's really not good. So, again, I don't think I have a good answer for you. At the end of the day, I don't have a good answer for you. I hope that you know.
11:23
In a way, let's just look at it from another perspective for a second. Every dollar that we have is a gift from Hashem, and if Hashem decides that we lose it with an investment, hashem, you know, one of the verses in the Prophets is Hashem natan, hashem lakach. Yihi shem, hashem mevorach, hashem gives, hashem takes, but the name of Hashem should beach yihi shem, hashem mevorach, hashem gives, hashem takes, but the name of Hashem should be blessed at all times, at all times. So yes, it's very difficult. People lost a tremendous amount of money and he was that messenger. Unfortunately, he's going to have to pay a very serious price for it, just because he's passed along to the next world. I can guarantee he'll have to come back and do a lot of rectification for that in a reincarnation, because that our sages tell us is a very, very grave sin. Stealing and trying to play God in a way of who has the money and who takes the money and who gives the money and who earns the money is a very, very dangerous thing, and Hashem doesn't like that at all. So we should pray for his soul. I will tell you a very interesting story.
12:26
My grandfather relayed that when he was in the Mir Yeshiva the first week he was in the Mir Yeshiva in Poland he saw the head of the Yeshiva, rabbi Yerucham Levavitz, who's a great sage, and my grandfather arrived, I think, on a Tuesday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday, friday. He saw where the rabbi stood. He had a seat in the front. He had a seat in the front of the study hall where he would pray. Came Friday night and my grandfather looked and he sees somebody sitting in the rabbi's seat. He's like maybe he doesn't know that it's the rabbi's seat, he probably shouldn't sit there. So my grandfather walked over to one of the other students. He says maybe my grandfather's first week there. He says he says maybe you should tell the student, this person, that they're sitting in the rabbi's seat. You know it's like it's not respectful, you don't sit in the rabbi's seat.
13:19
They said no, no, no, that's the rabbi. He says what do you mean? It doesn't look like the rabbi. Like no, no, shabbos, he had a different glow. His face was glowing. He looked like a different. My grandfather didn't recognize him. My grandfather wasn't a silly person, he was a very brilliant man, right, he couldn't recognize him because Shabbos, he had a totally different aura, a different countenance to him, unbelievable One.
13:48
Shabbos, rabbi Rucham, head of the yeshiva, looked like a dead person walking. There's no color in his face, there's no shine, there's no glow, no countenance. So they ran over to him. They're like what's going on? What happened? No-transcript. He had passed away right before Shabbos. I just heard that he had passed away. Like what's the problem? He's a terrible guy.
14:18
He turned in other Jews. What do you mean? It's a good thing. No, he says. What do you mean? Every Jew is our brother. He says this brother of ours is now standing in front of the heavenly courts and what's he going to say for himself? Imagine how is he going to say for himself, imagine how is he going to answer for the terrible sins he did. He says that's my concern. That's why I'm like this, because I'm so worried for how a brother of ours is going to answer to the heavenly courts, is going to answer to the heavenly courts and I think that we should have a similar perspective on Mr Madoff how is he going to answer for his mistakes? And that should be a concern of ours.
15:06
This guy made some really terrible mistakes, costly mistakes, and it's tragic. We have to pray for his soul, nebuch that made such a grave error. What's he going to answer? Not going to have what to answer? Can he give excuses? You can give excuses to authorities. You can try to persuade a judge of flesh and blood. You can have a great attorney who will have lunch with the judge and tell him just let him off, it's fine. That doesn't work in the heavenly courts and perhaps we should have that kind of level of mercy and compassion for someone who's not going to have what to answer. And that's really terrifying. All right, next question.
15:55 - Anna (Guest)
So speaking on cruelty also. So if you find yourself with a trait of cruelty, is there not a workaround, right? Like when you find yourself you favor bloodletting, right, so you become a butcher or surgeon. So is there no workaround? You just do teshuva and change your ways. What's happening?
16:20 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
Yes. So a very important question. Yes, there is always a method and a tool to help a person overcome, for example, in our studies on Monday nights in the Muslim Masterclass, 7.30 Monday here at the Torch Center. So little shameless plug. We just talked about forgetfulness and we see how the author teaches us that someone who forgets things should have a workaround. Write it down, make a note Means just a person can say, oh, I forget things, so therefore, okay, I forget things and that's it Just, that's the way I am. No, just because you forget things doesn't mean you should keep it that way. A person who has a bad temper well, yeah, I just have a bad temper Sometimes, people you know no work on it. There's a workaround for it and a person has to first remember that everything is from the hand of Hashem. Everything is from the hand of Hashem. So a person who has cruelty, you say one second Hashem gave me life. He wants me to be godlike.
17:26
Why is man called Adam? Mankind? He got a name Adam. What does the Torah tell us? Ki min ha'adamah lukacha, because you're taken from the earth. Adamah, adam. They rhyme, they're the same roots and therefore a man is called Adam. Our sages tell us.
17:51
Adam also comes from the word Adameh, not Adama. Adameh, which means to emulate God. We are here on a mission to emulate God. God is patient, god is compassionate, god is forgiving, god is kind, god is benevolent. These are traits that we need to acquire. God is very, very, very slow to anger. He waits and waits and waits and waits, hoping that we will repent, hoping that we will change our way, hoping that we will turn away from our bad habits. The same is true Someone who has cruelty, god doesn't have cruelty. God's not cruel. I want to be godlike. I'm gonna have to remove this trait for myself how to do it? That's why we have the study of musa. Musa helps us attain the tools necessary to overcome bad habits. And I'll tell you.
18:54
My son just spoke at his graduation today and he said something so beautiful. He said you know, the sun, if it moves just a little bit, it looks like it moved three feet. Do you know how many millions of miles it had to move for that three feet to show it looks very, very small. We sometimes don't realize that a small, little adjustment can make a magnificent change. You know, if you take a plane flying from New York to Los Angeles and you change the coordinate one degree, one degree, it'll end up in Mexico, because right here, one degree means nothing.
19:33
But over a long span of time you're on a totally different course of life, and that's what we aim for. We can't overcome cruelty in a minute. We can't overcome anger in a minute. We can't overcome jealousy in a minute. But if we take one small step over a long span of time, we make an enormous change. I can tell you, I've seen people who had a very short temper and they worked on it and they worked on it and they worked on it.
20:04
Today you look at them and you're like this person never got angry in his life. Oh, I can show you some things. They broke right. I know somebody who took a cheer and threw it through a ceiling. They were so upset. Today, you look at them, they're the softest, gentlest people because they took a small step to overcome their impulse to get angry and they worked on it with their parents and changed those habits.
20:28
So we don't resort to putting up our hands and saying you know what? It just is the way it is. That's who I am. God just made me angry and that's it. No, god made you angry. That means you have now a special opportunity to be God-like and to change that and to transform who you are. This is our purpose, our challenge, each and every one of us. We all have a different set of tools. We all have a different set of challenges and sometimes they're easier challenges in our eyes. Oh, that person has it easy. They have no problems in their life. It takes a lot of work to change. It takes a lot of work and each one of us are given the opportunity in life to make those changes and to make that impact in our life that will change the course for the rest of our lives and for those who are living around us. We become more pleasant. Nobody wants to be around a madman. Nobody wants to be around a person who's arrogant. You know and, by the way, people who are arrogant by Yehaleluchazar. We mentioned this just to go.
21:48
King Solomon tells us let other people praise you, don't praise yourself. Don't talk about how great you are. Don't talk about how I'm very successful in business I am. Let other people praise you. You know, my book that I wrote right sold it. Let other people praise you. You don't praise yourself. I once asked my grandfather of lesser memory. You know, I did a project that people were praising me for and I asked them if it was arrogance that I felt proud. When people gave me that, he said are you publicizing your own praise or other people are? I said other people are. She says then enjoy it as long as you don't start bloviating and you don't start talking about your own. Oh, all of my accomplishments and all of my doings. Let other people praise you. That's the proper way. Once we start talking, I don't need to talk about myself. Other people can talk. Nobody will know. If you don't tell people, nobody will know. Hashem has a great way of informing everyone of the great things you do. When it's humble, when it's private, that's a very, very special thing.
22:58 - Anna (Guest)
All right, next question we're speaking about charity and we're obligated to help the poor. Are non-profits considered poor?
23:07 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
Oh, absolutely. Non-profits are definitely. Well, not because it's poor, because it supports the rabbis. It supports the rabbis who need to feed their families as well. So, yeah, it falls into the same category.
23:21
The Rambam writes and we can learn this. We'll hopefully get to this in a future episode. We'll talk about the priorities of the Rambam in charity. The Rambam gives a list of exactly One of the most important is Torah study.
23:37
For those who study Torah, they need to support their families and they need to in order for them to be able to learn and teach Torah. So it's of prime importance to support institutions that teach Torah, and that includes yeshivas, includes kolels, it includes torch, so it's definitely up there on the top, which is why people have less. It's less glamorous because it goes to Torah study. Oh, if I give to a park bench, then everybody sees it and my name is on it, you know. Or if I give to the stones at Minute Maid Park, you know Dakin Park, right, and they see my stone, you know. So that people are ready to give 5,000 right there. Boom, no problem, put my stone, put my name. So when I bring my grandchildren to the baseball game, they'll see that I donated.
24:23
For what For baseball? But to change someone's life through Torah? Eh, I don't know, I have other priorities. I'd say it becomes less attractive for people to give. The more important something is, the less enticing it is to give to it. So that's the way the Yetzirah works with our desires. All right. Next question Great question, one more. Go for it.
24:58 - Anna (Guest)
So someone doesn't ask for charity, but you give to them anyway, right, Whether it's a smile or a food or a beverage or whatever. Is that the same mitzvah as?
25:03 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
charity, or that's a different mitzvah. So that is, charity is a big, a big world. It's a big world of giving. The idea is of giving of yourself what Hashem gave you. Hashem gave you to distribute and to give to others. Now, when we give giving, by the way, to the UPS guy I saw the UPS guy came here this week and he's like oh, you guys were once down the block, you guys were, you know.
25:26
And he's like I said yeah, we were, you know this location. Then we moved to a different location. Now we're here. This is over a course of 20 years. So he says, okay, just making sure. And he runs out. I stopped. I said whoa, one second, would you like something to drink? He says I would love something to drink. It's like he could see the couch. And now we're in Houston, texas.
25:46
I don't know where our viewers and listeners are listening to us from, but in Houston, texas, at three o'clock in the afternoon, it is hot, it is very hot and I don't care if the if that the temperature is only 98 degrees. It's 98 degrees plus hell. Okay, it is hot. You know, one of the things they say about, about Houston is that during the day it gets very, very, very hot and at night it gets dark. Okay, so it's still hot at night. People don't just like in Israel. At night it can get to 50, 60 degrees. It really drops. It gets very hot during the day but it drops because it's desert. So you know, all of the hot air you know goes out and it's really, it's really chilly. It can get really chilly at night, but I'll tell you in Houston that doesn't happen. It just gets dark, it stays hot.
26:41
So you see someone that, yeah, of course that's charity. You're giving of yourself, definitely. So you started something with your question. Remind me of the beginning of your question, right? Oh, so it's very important.
26:53
The highest level of charity, the highest level of charity, is giving anonymously. That means if you know someone is in need and they'll probably be embarrassed to ask, so you give it through anonymous means. Anonymous means my great aunt may she live and be well started a charity which was called Matan Beseter, which is Matan Beseter, is this form of charity, which is you give it anonymously, meaning you give to the organization and the organization distributes it to the poor families and they don't know where it's coming from. They don't know where it's coming from. They don't know where it's coming from. They have no idea. They get cash under the door. They wake up in the morning like we have food for Shabbos. Where does it come from? No idea, and they had this organization. And where did it start?
27:47
This latest woman her name is Bambi, a very, very righteous woman. Her maiden name was Bamberger and her nickname was Bambi that's what they called her and her brother is my uncle. We're very, very close. She was the head midwife in Shari Tzadik hospital in Jerusalem, delivered over 40,000 babies, and over the years she had met women who, after having a baby, would be emotional and crying, mostly in gratitude, but sometimes in gratitude to Hashem for the amazing miracle of giving birth to a child. But she would talk to them Very compassionate woman, very special woman, and sometimes the women would share that they're really concerned, they're really worried, they don't know how they're going to support this baby.
28:36
They're very poor. Her husband lost their job or whatever it may be. So she started an organization to help these families and she would travel around when she was off from work, or she would take off from work and she would travel around the world raising money for these poor families and the people who gave it had no idea who the families were, and the people who received the money had no idea who the donors were. And she distributed many, many, many, many incredible funds to these families to support them and to take care of them in their time of need. That's a very, very special form of charity.
29:15
Now there are people I know I've seen this here in Torch in our organization that people have generously, extremely generously, donated and said I don't want anyone knowing about this, I'm going to give you money. And it was a lot of money, very considerable donations. They said, but I don't want it publicized, I don't want anybody to know. Now, sometimes they just don't want other organizations to come running after them. Okay, that's legitimate, but sometimes they really just want to be modest. Right, I've had sometimes people tell me I want people to know so that people will know that I gave and then they'll give as well. Okay, and everybody. That's not my place to judge who's doing it sincerely and who's not. That's not my business. Every person should give whatever they can in the best way possible to what speaks to them. There's some people.
30:05
I will tell you an amazing story about my father. May he live and be well. My father, I was here in Houston and somebody came here to collect charity. This is about almost 20 years ago it was right when I moved here and I was at some event and I meet this person who came to Houston to collect charity. So where are you from? He tells me where he's from. He says okay, where are you from? I told him I grew up in Muncie. He says what's your name? I told him my name. He says oh, my goodness, do I have a story for you? He says I can't believe. Your father is so-and-so. I said yes. So he says I need to tell you a story.
30:45
He says I used to run an orphanage and I used to come to New York to raise money every year for my orphanage and your father used to host me your father and mother. I would stay in your house. I was a little child I was four or five, six years old I don't remember this guy coming and I would stay by your parents and your father would give me a modest donation, whatever it was $100, $180. That was it. He says one time I was there and your father gave me a very, very generous gift, five digits gift, which was well beyond my father's means at the time. And your father said to me this is what the guy says I'm giving you this donation. I'm giving you this donation and don't ever expect such a donation from me again, and I don't want anybody knowing that I gave you this donation.
31:38
He says so why are you doing this? He says because I just had a business deal go through and I promised the Almighty I made a deal with God that whoever's the first person to come for charity, I'm going to give the full tithe of this business deal, but one condition. He said I'm giving it to you because you're the first, but also because you're an organization that I will never benefit from, hopefully. He says you're an orphanage in Israel. He says I could give it to my son's yeshiva, but then they're going to honor me. I can give it to my synagogue, but then they'll make a big plaque. He says I want to give it to my son's yeshiva, but then they're going to honor me. I can give it to my synagogue, but then they'll make a big plaque. He says I want to give it to someone who I have no benefit from, but it's on condition that nobody knows.
32:28
So this individual thought 20 years later, it's okay for me to know the story. See, he told me the story and this was it was on Shabbos, after Shabbos. What do you think I did? I called my dad and I said dad. I said is this true? This is amazing, this is unbelievable. He says who told you that story? He was very upset that it got out there and that's the truth. Is that's the real way Charity you didn't want anyone to know.
32:55
I don't want to give charity and it becoming. You know, god gave me something, gave me a gift. I want to give it. I don't want to give it and get something in return. I don't want to get. Oh, me having my plaque and my banner could take away from the mitzvah that I perform.
33:09
Now, that's not always the case. It's not always the case. Again, sometimes people say you know what, what you put my name, and then it'll encourage other people to do the same. You know, people see it. They're like oh okay, here's a plaque I'm going to give as well. You know it's, it's an encouragement for others. So, again, we don't know the motives and it's not our place to judge, but it's important for us to know that giving secretly is a very special thing, so that we don't take the pride of the giving when it's really not our place to take pride for it. Okay, hashem has plenty of reward to give everyone. There's plenty of reward, and Hashem will make sure you'll never lose out by doing it the right way. Never, you will never lose out by that. All right, it's an excellent question, anna. All right, next question.
33:54 - Jimmy (Guest)
Thank you, Rabbi. So I know that there's a good side and a bad side to every trade. What is the good side of?
34:01 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
Koss Anger. Yeah, so I say, just tell us. It's a great question. And I want to address our listener online on YouTube who asks how can I be more patient? So that's a great question, thank you for asking. We're going to address that as well and we're going to address how do we overcome anger. So anger and patience are very closely related, because the result of someone not being angry means they're going to be more patient. Someone who loses their patience becomes angry. So I'm going to address both of you at one time. Okay, so it's perfect, perfect timing. Thank you to. I can't even read your thing. Something productions. So thank you for your question and thank you, mark. Okay, so our sages teach us that.
34:46
Why does one get angry? We get angry because our self, our ego, got insulted, got hurt. Let me give you an example. I was once in a car with someone and they got very, very angry at the car in front of them that they stopped and they started yelling and screaming to themselves just go to the side of the, just go to the side. What are you taking Meaning? The problem was like don't you realize who I am? Like don't you realize that I'm someone who's very, very special move to the side of the road so you don't block the road and in a way of saying like this should be justice here on the roads and everyone should just be for me. For me meaning if we realize, you know what I'm? I'm just Hashem. I'm on loan, right, you give me life. You give me life with graciousness, with kindness, with mercy. I don't need to take so much place, but if I make so much space, I need all of this. This world is mine and now you're infringing on my world. You cut my line. So that's when people get angry. And if a person is able to just be patient and realize, the patient takes some time just to realize I'm living in Hashem's world, I'm living in God's world and it's okay. Take your time.
36:16
You know, I used to be a very aggressive New York driver. I really used to be a very aggressive New York driver until I started working on patience, because I was teaching about it. I'm like I can't be a hypocrite. I can't be a hypocrite, right? So I started setting myself patience rules. What are the patience rules? For example, sometimes I'll drive only in the right lane. I'm only driving in the right lane. Why? To overcome my need to go faster, to pass other cars, to get New York out of me, to get the New York out of me. I need to remove that. It's an amazing thing.
37:00
The truth is, with a lot of kudos to our Texas drivers, people don't honk the horn here. People don't. People are very relaxed. People have much more patience here than they do in other places. It's like over here if a car is backing out of a driveway, people will stop, wait for them to back out of their driveway into the roadway and start driving. People will be very patient. People will be very calm.
37:26
You go in other places, people will be honking their horn. People will be now a place that might or might not be like that. Maybe Israel right? Well, that's because they have ballistic missiles dropping on them. They have a pass, okay, and it's sort of. They are in a culture which is a lot more stressful than us. You know we don't have such a concept in Houston of an open dome stadium. You go to NRG Stadium. If it's not beautiful weather, the dome is closed. You're watching a football game or the rodeo and the dome is closed and it's air conditioned and it's very pleasant. People are living in a different type of life in Houston and in other places, very calm, very patient, very relaxed.
38:16
It's rare that you see people get that angry. Go to New York, oh my goodness, people are on edge because New York everyone is so crammed in in one little square mile that it takes a lot for everybody to feel valued and for everyone to feel so. Everyone needs to make a lot of noise for that right. You have to make noise where the. So everyone needs to make a lot of noise for that right. You have to make noise when the squeaky wheel gets oiled right. Everyone needs to make. But it's still. We can laugh about it. All we want. But the truth is is that in order to gain control over anger, we need to have patience. You know, my mother used to say she read in some book that before you get angry you should count to 10.
38:56
One, two, three, four five, six, seven eight, ten, then you can start no, no, no, it has to take it easy. Take it easy, right, and a person it's a slow process. Don't think and this is to our production person online on YouTube and to Mark here don't think it's going to take overnight and I'm never going to be angry again and I'm going to be able to overcome anger. Now there is a form of anger. Back to your question, mark. There is a form of anger which is considered good and that is anger towards evil. All right, so if we're able to channel our anger, that's at a later stage.
39:34
The first thing is to remove anger. The Hosser Kas Me Libcha how does the Ramban? In the letter to his son he says you know how you remove anger. Always speak with a soft voice, speak softly, and the more, because the more a person gets angry, the more they get right. They start screaming, it goes, it escalates and sometimes it escalates really fast. Speak calmly, take it easy, and that will help you overcome anger. Okay, so I hope that helped. When we see evil, that's something to get angry about, but we'll get to that level at a different time. We will focus a little bit more on anger.
40:15
We talked about it. In the past, in our Jewish Inspiration podcast, we talked about anger. We can find it. You can search the archives and find we spoke many, many times about anger. But hopefully soon we'll start a new series of all of our traits and we'll readdress the topic of anger. All right, final question Anybody, carlos, carlos, we've been waiting for you. All right, go for it. Pass the microphone of anger. All right, final question Anybody? Carlos, carlos, we've been waiting for you. All right, go for it, pass the microphone please.
40:41 - Carlos (Host)
I was just wondering, if in the classes we talk about Midrash and Gemara and everything, how come the Rabbi doesn't end his classes with Rabi Hadaniah ben Akasha Omer?
40:57 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
Oh, very good. Okay, so there's a special. I'll repeat the question. So there's a special prayer or a special Mishnah. Actually, it's a Mishnah that is said after learning Torah. It's generally said, though, when you have a minyan and you can recite the Kaddish, okay, so you recite a minion and you can recite the Kaddish. Okay, so you recite when people study Torah. After studying Torah, there's a special Kaddish that is recited, because if you have 10 people in a room who are studying Torah together, you can recite the Kaddish. If there's a need, an avel, someone who is a mourner, or someone who is a parent passed away within the last year, or someone who has a yahrzeit on the day of the yahrzeit so then it is, which is the day of the passing of someone, then it's a special time to recite the Kaddish. But, generally speaking, if there isn't that obligation to recite the Kaddish, then you omit that Mishnah. But because you mentioned it, I'm just going to bring it up here because I think it's so critical and so important. So, oh, we have the small one. Let me do the small one. I'll do the big one. For those of you who are online, I'll try to move the microphone here and we can share the screen here.
42:15
Okay, so we have over here the Ten Commandments. The Ten Commandments was given to the Jewish people on top of the mountain, on top of Mount Sinai. So we have the Ten Commandments that was given to the Jewish people at Mount Sinai. At Mount Sinai, the Jewish people received all 613, not exactly, it's not accurate. Not all the 613 were given there. Some were given before they got to Mount Sinai, some were given throughout the desert. But before Moshe died we got all the five books of Moses, five books of Moses where Moses wrote down what God told him to write. Moshe did not have the authority to write even one letter of of his own, only what God told him to write. He wrote. And before Moshe died, he wrote 13 copies of the Torah, one for each tribe and one that was placed inside the ark and that traveled with the Jewish people and was placed later in the temple in King David's, king Solomon's temple in Jerusalem.
43:19
Okay, so we have the five books of the Torah, which is, by the way, the same exact Torah scroll that you will find in every single synagogue around the world. Wherever you go, you will find the exact same Torah with the exact same letters, words, verses and paragraphs. Everything is exactly the same. Okay, now prophets, writings, which, by the way, way in other religions. Maybe this is not a time to mention Islam, but before Muhammad died, there were over 400 different versions of the Quran Over 400, there's only one version of the Torah. So then you have the prophets and the writings, which we had. Many, many prophets over the years, many, many thousands and thousands, maybe even millions of prophets, but not everything they wrote was for all eternity, and only those that were for eternal lessons were added to the written law. All of this is the written law. The green is the written law. So we have 24 books of the Torah, the prophets, the writings known as Tanakh, the Torah, the Nevi'im, the prophets, and the Ketuvim, the writings.
44:29
Okay, then we go to the oral law. What is the oral law? Like the Rambam tells us, maimonides tells us that you had every single one of the sages, from Moses all the way down to Rabbeinu HaKadosh, to Yehudah Anassi, judah, the prince who wrote the Mishnah, every one of the sages wrote their own little notebook. They took down notes, meticulous notes, of everything they learned from their teacher, from their master. Joshua wrote what Moses taught him, and all of the elders what they learned from Joshua and all of the sages, all the way down till Rabbeinu HaKadosh, till Judah the prince, where he wrote the Mishnah, and he wrote the Mishnah of all of the oral teachings that were transmitted.
45:14
I'll give you an example, just a quick example. So the Torah says that you should put a mezuzah on your door, but it doesn't say what a mezuzah is right. In fact, I had something I wanted to share with you today. There are three times that we see God describe a mitzvah as zeh. This, as I'm showing you this Now, if I ask you, I say okay, so those of you who are online, you're not in the room here with us.
45:44
But if I say this book now, those of you who are online don't see what I'm referring to. I'm pointing to something right here this book. So those of you in the room see what I'm talking about. When God says this, if I'm not there, I don't know what he's talking about. So I'm not there, I don't know what he's talking about. So how will I know what that this is?
46:04
What is this? This? Oh, that you're going to have to have a transmission given from generation to generation, otherwise we don't know what it is. It says, for example, regarding the insects, that we're not allowed to eat. Like this, god says you cannot eat. I don't know what that is.
46:21
What is that? It says the menorah. Make a menorah like this. Well, I don't know what this is. Well, moshe passed that on All the way generation to generation, till in the Mishnah. It was written out what this means. Okay, it also says this a third time regarding the moon Kazer, eve, kadesh, this is the new moon. This is what I mean by a new moon. This is, when you start counting, the new month of the Jewish calendar. Right, we don't know what that means till that was written down in what the oral transmission was written down. That's the oral transmission was written down. That's the oral law, okay, and then we have the Midrash, we have the Kabbalah, we have the Mishnah, and then we have the Talmud, which explains the Mishnah. This is the oral law and there is a lot to learn. We have endless sea of wisdom and then, as a conclusion of all of this, we have halacha, jewish law.
47:25
How do we actually perform our daily activities? How do we wash our hands? Well, all of that has to be sourced in the talmud. Has to be sourced in the mishnah, has to be sourced in the torah. It means there's no such thing. The rabbis have no authority to make up rules.
47:43
There are only seven laws that are rabbinic in nature, that were quote made up by the rabbis, but all of them are founded in the Torah. For example, washing our hands before eating bread there's no biblical commandment for that, but we do that. Lighting Shabbos candles there's no biblical commandment for that, but we do that. Lighting Shabbos candles there's no biblical commandment for that. It's rabbinic in nature. It's one of the seven. Those are two of the seven laws that now, where does it come from? Oh, it's backed up. The Talmud gives grounding for it and it's brought from teachings of the Torah, but not direct in the Torah. The Torah does not command that, but there are only seven laws.
48:23
All of those who say, oh, the rabbis made up these rules, the rabbis didn't make up any rules. They're not allowed, they don't have authority to make up rules. All of the rules that the Rambam brings are based on the teachings in the Talmud. That are elaborations of the Mishnah, which is an elaboration of the Torah, and everything every time, which is why we study in the Thinking Talmudist podcast. Why do we do the podcast? Why do we do that class every Friday afternoon at noon, what With Ed's lunch, of course? Thank you, chef Ed. Why do we do this? Why do we do this? We do this so that we can see how it always trails back to the source, to the Torah that was given to the Jewish people at Mount Sinai. So we have to understand the Rambam didn't make up laws. The Rambam didn't make up rules. Our sages, our rabbis, don't make up rules.
49:19
And what I say all the time in our classes here, it's very important that when a rabbi, any rabbi, teaches you something, always ask for a source. What is the source? I understand, I respect you, I'm not questioning you. What's your source? If you go to your synagogue respectively each one to your own synagogue and the rabbi says, hey, what are you doing? You know you're supposed to hop. When you're in synagogue You're only supposed to be on one leg, you say, rabbi, I respect that. What's your source? That's it. Give me the source.
49:53
You understand, we don't just take things because, oh, the rabbi said it has to be Right, because, oh, the rabbi said it has to be right. We are learned people here. We're educated people, we have to do everything we can to ensure that the wisdom that's being imparted to us is authentic. It's real. Question things. Don't accept it just because oh, the rabbi said it has to be. He knows more than I do. No, no, no, ask for the source. Look up the source on your own. No, no, ask for the source. Look up the source on your own. Verify. Don't trust, but verify. All right, my dear friends.
50:25
This concludes today's episode of the Q&A. Thank you, camden, thank you Productions, thank you to all of our friends on all of the various platforms. We really, really, really appreciate all of you being here with us today. It is an honor and a privilege to learn so much Torah with so many beautiful people out there. It is. If you have a question, dear listener on the podcast or dear viewer online, please submit your questions to askawayattorchweborg. Askawayattorchweborg. We look forward to addressing your questions in future episodes and, for all of you here at the Torch Center, drive safely. Have a magnificent, beautiful, terrific, delicious week.
51:10 - Intro (Announcement)
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