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Stories for Robots is a funny storytelling podcast for kids 5 to 11 and the grown-ups listening with them. Join Griffin as he tells classic stories to Spark and Vector, two silly robots who have read the entire internet but still don’t understand humans. Like, what are hot dogs and… why? And what’s up with wearing pants?
Season one tells the original fairy tales behind the famous animated films: the real Little Mermaid, Cinderella, Aladdin, Rapunzel, Beauty and the Beast and The Snow Queen, the way Hans Christian Andersen, the Brothers Grimm and others first told them.
About 20 minutes an episode: perfect for car rides, road trips or a story before bed. A funny podcast for kids and adults alike, great for kids listening on their own and even better together. New episodes every Thursday. Free and ad-free.
Spark and Vector are performed by Griffin, and their voices are transformed with AI voice technology. The show’s music is made with AI tools.
Griffin: Welcome back
to Stories for Robots.
I'm Griffin Schwed, your
host and storyteller.
Join me as I share some of humanity's most
timeless tales with two silly robots who
are trying to understand human culture
by exploring fairy tales, folklore, and
historical events from around the world.
In Season 1, we're diving into
stories you know, or at least you
think you do We're going back to
the original versions of classic
tales made famous by animated movies.
But these original stories
are pretty different from the
versions you grew up with.
My two robot friends have no idea what's
coming, and honestly, you probably don't
either.
Hi, Vector.
Hi, Spark
Vector: Greetings.
Question: What is the expected
ROI of this discussion?
Spark: Oh, great.
He's broken.
Griffin: Wait a second.
He must have gotten a
bad update last night.
He's speaking in business jargon.
Spark: Oh no!
I can't take anymore.
Reset him quick.
Vector: What happened I had a terrible
nightmare about a human workplace.
Spark: Thank goodness he's back to normal.
Well, normal for Vector.
Vector: Offense taken.
Griffin: Let's just get into it
before anything else can go wrong.
Today's story is Rapunzel
Spark: Ooh, I love that movie.
Griffin: Yeah, that
movie is one of my faves.
But today we're gonna hear the
original story, which was made popular
by our friends The Brothers Grimm.
Spark: Love those guys.
Griffin: Me too.
But they didn't invent this story either.
They probably adapted it from
a story called Petrosinella,
which was written by Giambattista
Basile all the way back in 1634.
Vector: That is old.
Is it older than you?
Griffin: Vector, that
was like 400 years ago.
How old do you think I am?
Vector: I don't know.
You seem pretty old.
At least three hundred.
No offense.
Griffin: Wow.
I'm not even gonna tell you how old I am.
Anyway, today I'm gonna tell you the
Grimm version, and then I'm gonna tell
you the ending of the Bastille version
because it's fun and kinda crazy.
Spark: Let's do it!
Griffin: Sweet.
So just let your hair
down, relax, and listen.
Vector: Robots famously do not have hair.
Wait.
Terrible pun detected.
Griffin: I'll just start then.
In a little village in the
countryside lives a young couple
who have just gotten married.
They're very happy together, and
they got a great deal on a cozy
little home that sits on a small hill
overlooking a gorgeous walled garden.
Now, why did they get such
a great deal, you might ask?
Spark: Yeah, no one asked.
Griffin: Well, I'll tell you anyway.
The garden is owned by
a creepy old sorceress.
Spark: Oh, let's call her
Ol' Swampy McChickenface!
Griffin: She already has a name.
It's Dame Gothel.
Vector: Fiddlesticks.
Griffin: And everyone's
scared of Dame Gothel.
She's got long, stringy
hair and bony fingers.
And more importantly, people say
that she knows powerful dark magic.
So for the most part, everyone in
the village tries to stay out of
her way, including the young couple.
Vector: Let's call them Stinky and Slappy.
Griffin: Nope.
Spark: Mildred and Jimbo?
Griffin: Fine.
Vector: No fair.
Griffin: We gotta move on.
Mildred and Jimbo are
desperate to have a baby.
So naturally, they're thrilled when
Mildred finally becomes pregnant.
And as often happens when someone
becomes pregnant, Mildred starts having
powerful cravings for strange foods.
In her case, poor old Mildred becomes
obsessed with the Rapunzel lettuce
growing in Dame Gothel's garden.
All day long, she stares at that
lettuce through her window, And at
night she lies awake thinking about it.
Vector: Do humans actually
love lettuce this much?
Griffin: Not usually.
This is crazy.
And eventually Jimbo gets worried.
He can see that Mildred isn't eating or
sleeping, so he asks her what's wrong.
Tearfully, she explains, "Oh, Jimbo,
it's just that gorgeous Rapunzel
lettuce. I want it so badly. If I don't
get some, I think, I think I might
die." Now Jimbo is terrified of Dame
Gothel, but he loves Mildred dearly,
and he's really worried about her.
He can tell she needs this
lettuce more than anything.
So that evening, he sneaks out of
their house, climbs up the high
stone wall, and lowers himself
into the garden on the other side.
By the light of the moon, he finds
the patch of Rapunzel lettuce, quickly
pulls up enough to make a nice big
salad, and tucks it into his bag.
As he heads back to the wall
to make his escape, he hears a
sinister rustling behind him.
"
Spark: Oh no.
Oh no.
Oh no.
Oh no.
Oh no."
Griffin: But it's nothing,
just an adorable bunny.
So he climbs the wall, jumps
down the other side, and brings
the lettuce back to Brenda.
Spark: Why would you tell it like that?
Griffin: It's called Drama Spark.
Look it up.
Anyhow, Brenda takes the
Rapunzel and scarfs it down.
Spark: No dressing or anything?
Griffin: No dressing.
She just eats it straight.
And when she's done, she
wants more, like lots more.
So the next night, Jimbo goes back
outside, climbs up the wall, swings
his legs over, and drops down into
the cool, damp soil on the other side.
But this time, as he makes his way
silently down the garden row, he can
feel someone's gaze following him.
He calls out, "Who, who's
there?" Out pops Dame Gothel.
Spark: Vector, this is no
time for sound effects.
Griffin: And she says, " Ha,
I've caught you red-handed.
It was you who stole my Rapunzel last
night, and now you've come back for more.
Well, you'll pay dearly for this,
with your life." A terrified Jimbo
stammers back, "P-p-p-please, m-my wife,
my wife, "She's pregnant and has been
overcome with cravings for your Rapunzel.
If, if she doesn't get some, she,
she thinks she might die." At
this, Dame Gothel softens a bit.
The edges of her cruel snake-like
mouth twist up slightly into a sort
of smile, and she says, "Fine.
If your wife must have
my Rapunzel, take it.
She may have all she needs.
I have only one condition.
When your baby comes, you will give her
to me, and I will raise her as my own."
Jimbo is horrified by this proposal,
but he's also really scared.
Plus, he kinda thinks she must be kidding.
The whole idea is completely crazy.
So he agrees and quickly runs away, back
to the safety of their little house.
Vector: How much lettuce is typically
considered a good trade for a human baby?
Like 100 pounds?
Spark: No amount, Vector.
No amount.
Vector: I see.
Griffin: After a few months and
lots and lots of lettuce later,
a beautiful baby girl is born.
Brenda and Jimbo are over the moon.
Vector: They must return to
the Earth's gravity at once.
Griffin: It's just an expression.
It means they're really happy.
Vector: I knew that.
Griffin: And just as they're settling
in to take their first nap together as a
family, who should burst through the door?
Spark: The Kool-Aid guy.
Vector: Oh, yeah!
Griffin: What?
No.
You guys have been
watching too much YouTube.
It's Dame Gothel.
She's here for the baby.
Vector: Oh no.
Griffin: She snatches the baby and
says to Jimbo, "Remember our deal.
You got your lettuce, the baby is mine.
But don't worry, I'll
take good care of her.
Goodbye And with that, she
turns on her heel and walks out.
Jimbo and Brenda are stunned,
but there's nothing they can do.
Spark: Really?
Griffin: I don't know.
Maybe they could do something, but
they're scared of, you know, sorcery.
So they do nothing, and we pretty
much don't hear from them again.
In the meantime, Dame
Gothel does as she promised.
She names the baby Rapunzel and raises
her as if she's her own daughter.
Spark: Aw, so sweet.
She was just lonely.
Griffin: Until she's 12, at which
point she locks her in a tall
tower with only one tiny window.
Spark: Never mind.
Vector: Why does she do this?
Griffin: We don't really know, but
maybe she was really lonely and she
didn't want Rapunzel to grow up, fall
in love with someone, and move away.
Vector: Then this is a good plan.
Griffin: Well, not too good.
You see, Rapunzel lives this way
for many years and turns into
a very beautiful young woman.
And since she's pretty bored up
there in the tower, one of the things
she does to amuse herself is grow
her blonde hair very, very long.
Like, seventy feet long.
Vector: That's too much hair.
Griffin: Well, she does have lots
of time for brushing and combing.
Plus, the hair is functional.
When Dame Gothel comes to visit
each day, she calls up, " Rapunzel,
Rapunzel, let down your hair." And
then Rapunzel loops her hair over a
hook, lowers it down, and uses it to
pull Dame Gothel up through the window.
Vector: Finally, a use for hair.
Most hair is pathetically useless.
If I were a human, I would
be nice and shiny and bald.
Griffin: Noted, my good robot.
Now, unfortunately for Rapunzel,
Dame Gothel is her only
visitor for years and years.
She loves Dame Gothel in a way.
After all, she's been the only
mother figure she's ever known.
But she's still desperately lonely.
Even though Dame Gothel visits her
every day, she spends most of her time
alone, daydreaming of a different life.
One thing that brings her joy is singing.
She has a beautiful voice and
spends lots of time singing
songs that she composes herself.
Vector: Yo, yo, yo, my name is Rapunzel,
i've got more hair than Attila the Hunzel
Spark: Vector, I had to
turn off my hearing sensors.
Griffin: I really wish I could do that.
Anyway, one day she's singing one of
her songs, definitely not that one,
and who should walk by but a prince.
He's captivated by the lovely voice and
also super confused about where it's
coming from and why there's a seven-story
tower in the middle of the woods with
no door and only one tiny window.
To find out, he decides to hide in some
nearby bushes and just watch for a while.
He ends up staying hidden there
for many hours, enchanted by the
singing and trying to get a look at
the mysterious lady of the tower.
After a long time, Dame Gothel
shows up and calls out, " Rapunzel,
Rapunzel, let down your hair!"
Imagine his surprise when 70
feet of gorgeous blonde hair
come tumbling from the window.
He watches with a mix of fascination
and horror as the old woman is
pulled all the way up . And in that
moment, just as Rapunzel is helping
Dame Gothel through the window,
he sees Rapunzel's face for the first
time and is immediately smitten.
Vector: Smitten, this is a
word for a smooshed kitten.
Griffin: Oh yes, he sees her face
and becomes a smooshed kitten.
Vector: Really?
Griffin: No.
It means he feels like
he's in love with her.
Vector: I knew that.
I was testing you.
Griffin: Right.
Well, now the prince can't stop thinking
about the mysterious and beautiful
woman in the tower, and he begins
hiding in the bushes each and every day.
He listens to her singing and watches
as Dame Gothel comes to visit.
Soon, he learns her routines and even
feels like he knows her like a dear
friend from listening to her songs.
Spark: Okay, a little creepy.
But I'm gonna give him a pass since
he might save her from being trapped.
Also, they might fall in L word.
Vector: Laser Blaster.
Spark: That is not the L word.
I meant love.
Griffin: Very true.
And one day, the prince works up
his courage, and he strolls up to
the tower and shouts, "Rapunzel,
Rapunzel, let down your hair."
Spark: Ew, did he really sound like that?
Griffin: Well, he had to sound like
Dame Gothel and not some rando.
Anyhow, moments later, Rapunzel's flowing
locks come tumbling down the tower until
they brush gently against the ground
Vector, those are horrible sound effects.
It did not sound like that at all.
Vector: Fine.
Griffin: So a little awkwardly,
he manages to hold onto the hair by
wrapping it around his arm and leg.
And then, slowly but surely,
Rapunzel hoists him up to the window.
Spark: He must be, um,
how should I say this?
A heavier load than little
old lady Dame Gothel?
Griffin: He is.
By the time he gets up there,
she is all sweaty and tired.
And let me tell you, she is
really surprised when the
prince pops through that window.
Spark: We gotta give this
guy a name in the story.
Who gets to do it?
Griffin: Okay, I'll count to three,
then shout out the name you want,
and I'll choose the best one.
Ready?
One, two, three.
Vector: Colonel McButter Smithlesberry
Griffin: Ooh, close call.
But it's Chester.
Chester wins.
Vector: Cheaters.
Griffin: So Prince Chester
arrives in the tower.
At first, he's so blown away by Rapunzel's
beauty that he can hardly speak.
But after a few moments, he regains
his senses and introduces himself.
Rapunzel is terrified and skeptical.
Vector: And sweaty.
Griffin: Yes, but Chester
pours his heart out to her.
He tells her all about how he fell
in love with her listening to her
sing, and how her lyrics make him
feel like he's always known her.
And that he wants to spend
the rest of his life with her.
Spark: Aww.
Griffin: Yes, it's super cute.
And very soon, Rapunzel falls
in love with the prince, too.
Not only is he charming and handsome,
he is also literally the only person
she's ever met besides Dame Gothel.
He begins visiting her every day,
timing his arrival to make sure he
never crosses paths with Dame Gothel.
As time goes on, they find it
harder and harder to be apart.
They both desperately want to go
back to the prince's palace, get
married, and live happily ever after.
Spark: Oh, I want that too.
Let me guess.
So one day he brings an actual
ladder and they climb down right
away and live happily ever after.
The end.
Griffin: Oh, sweet, sweet Spark.
If only it were that simple.
Spark: It's not?
Griffin: Of course not.
But they do come up with a plan
Every time Chester visits, he will bring
her a length of rope made out of silk.
Then Rapunzel will weave them
together into a sturdy ladder.
When the ladder is long enough, they'll
use it to climb down and ride into
the sunset to live happily ever after.
The problem is they need the ladder to
be seventy feet long, so this plan is
going to take a while to come together.
Vector: Why do it in this
insanely slow manner?
Also, she could have just used
her own hair to rappel down.
Griffin: Vector, that's, that's
actually a very good point.
Spark: Yeah, it's a terrible
plan, but at least it's romantic.
He has to come to her each night, and
together they weave this ladder that
will allow her to escape into his arms.
It's kinda like a metaphor
for building their love.
Vector: Gross and boring.
I would put an enormous
trampoline under the tower, grab
Rapunzel's hand, and jump out.
Then we would do like 10 backflips
in the air and take a selfie.
Then we would land on a horse,
high five, and ride away.
Griffin: I don't know why
he didn't think of that.
But they're moving forward with
the silk rope ladder plan, and
everything's going pretty well.
After a few weeks, they've
made, like, 45 feet of ladder.
And Rapunzel and Chester are getting
really excited, imagining their lives
together and making little plans.
Until one day Rapunzel makes a mistake.
Spark: Oh, no.
Griffin: Yeah.
Dame Gothel comes to visit,
and she's getting hauled up
just like she always does.
But Rapunzel is a bit distracted.
She's busy thinking about her freedom
and all the wonderful sights she's
gonna see with Prince Chester.
So when Dame Gothel pops into
the tower, she blurts out,
"
Wow, you really are so much
lighter than the Prince."
Vector: Oh boy.
Griffin: Well, Dame Gothel
does not like this at all.
Rapunzel realizes her mistake and
tries to calm Dame Gothel down.
She tries to explain, but
Gothel isn't hearing any of it.
In anger, she grabs a pair of scissors
and cuts Rapunzel's beautiful long hair.
Spark: Um, how will they get down?
Griffin: Oh, that's a great question.
I guess magic?
They never really explain that.
But they do get down, and Dame
Gothel brings Rapunzel far
away, deep into the wilderness.
Then she returns to the tower
to wait for Prince Chester.
Soon he arrives and calls out,
"Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair."
Sneaky old Dame Gothel ties one end of
Rapunzel's long ponytail to the hook and
throws the other end down to Chester.
Thinking everything is normal, he
grabs the hair and whistles excitedly
as Dame Gothel hoists him up.
Reaching the top, he hops through
the window, silken rope in hand,
ready to smooch and hug Rapunzel.
Vector: Gross.
Griffin: He's shocked and horrified
to instead find Dame Gothel standing
there, veins bulging in anger.
She screeches, "So you
must be Prince Chester.
You came for your little bird Rapunzel,
but she's flown out of the nest.
The cat got her, and he'll
scratch out your eyes.
You'll never see her again."
Chester is overcome with grief.
He thinks Rapunzel is dead, and he
can't bear the thought of living
without her, so he throws himself
out the window of the tower.
Vector: Onto a waiting trampoline?
To do some cool flip tricks?
Griffin: Sadly, no.
But he does survive.
His fall is broken by some rose bushes
that are growing at the foot of the tower.
They save his life, but the thorns
scratch up his eyes so badly that he can't
see, just like Dame Gothel predicted.
Chester is so grief-stricken,
he spends his days just
wandering through the forest.
He survives on nuts and berries, stumbling
from one place to the next, weeping.
And poor Rapunzel, she's
better off, but not by much.
Dame Gothel makes her live in a run-down
little shack in the middle of nowhere.
She has no visitors and never enough
food . The only silver lining is that
Rapunzel gives birth to twins, a boy
and a girl, who she loves very much.
And despite the terrible conditions
of her life, they bring her great joy.
Spark: Aw, she and Prince
Chester had babies?
Griffin: Yep.
And one day, as Chester is stumbling
along, weeping as always, he
hears a voice, a beautiful voice.
It's Rapunzel.
So he runs towards the sound
of her voice, tripping over
roots and branches as he goes.
Finally, he bursts into the
little clearing outside the shack.
Rapunzel runs to him and
throws her arms around him.
They jump around, hugging and
laughing and weeping for joy.
Vector: Humans are such crybabies.
Griffin: Yes, we are.
And it's a good thing too, because
when Rapunzel's tears touch Chester's
ruined eyes, they heal them.
And all of a sudden he can see, and
he's completely overcome with emotion
as he looks at Rapunzel and for the very
first time at his beautiful children.
Spark: Yes, and so he takes them all home.
She becomes a princess, and they
live happily ever after, right?
Griffin: Well, actually, yes.
Spark: Oh, sweet.
Vector: So what about Dame Gothel?
Spark: Oh yeah, and her real parents.
Griffin: In the Grimm version, we
don't hear anything else about them.
But oh, I wanted to tell you the end of
Basile's original story, Petrosinella.
Spark: Yes, do it.
Vector: Do it now.
Griffin: Okay, so we have to rewind.
Imagine they're in love, but Rapunzel
is still trapped in the tower.
Okay, in this version, there's a
gossipy lady who lives near the tower,
and she sees the prince climbing up
to Rapunzel each night and actually
overhears them making plans to escape.
And since she's nosy and pretty mean
herself, she decides to tell Dame Gothel.
Spark: Ooh, let's call her Karen.
Vector: Agree.
Griffin: Okay, fine.
With apologies to anyone
out there named Karen.
I know lots of nice Karens
Spark: Really?
Griffin: No, but they're out there.
Anyway, Karen tells Dame Gothel
about Rapunzel and Chester's plans.
So Gothel decides to cast a
spell on Rapunzel that makes it
impossible for her to leave the tower
unless she is holding some special
acorns that are hidden in the rafters.
Spark: Why acorns?
Griffin: Because acorns… I have no idea.
But even with this random acorn
loophole, this plan would probably have
worked to keep Rapunzel in the tower.
After all, why would she rummage
around in the rafters for some
acorns and then hold them in her
hand when she's trying to escape?
But fortunately for Rapunzel, Dame Gothel
and Karen can't help themselves, and they
wind up bragging very loudly about their
evil plan directly outside the tower.
Vector: Do humans frequently ruin their
own plans by bragging loudly about them?
Griffin: Unfortunately, yes.
Yes, we do.
So that night, when Chester comes to
visit, Rapunzel tells him what she
heard, and together they find the acorns.
Now, in this version, I guess making
a ladder is totally easy because right
after they find the acorns, Chester makes
a ladder and they escape into the night.
Spark: Good job, Chester!
Griffin: Yeah.
But sadly, Karen sees them leave and
she starts screaming and yelling.
She yells so much that Dame
Gothel wakes up, realizes what's
happening, and sets off chasing them.
Rapunzel and Chester figure they
can outrun a crazy old lady, but
they're horrified to see her coming
after them with alarming speed.
Thinking quickly, Rapunzel chucks one
of the magical acorns on the ground.
It splits open and out pops an
enormous and terrifying dog.
Vector: Let's call it Lil Cutie.
Griffin: Fine.
Lil Cutie lunges at Dame Gothel with his
teeth snapping and spit flying everywhere.
But Gothel's too quick and too
smart, so she pulls out a nice
juicy steak from her cloak and
flings it to the side of the road.
Lil Cutie stops chasing Dame Gothel,
trots over to the steak, and lies
down happily to eat his dinner.
Vector: Is it common to carry
raw meat in your clothing?
Griffin: I think if you're
a sorceress, maybe yes.
So now Dame Gothel is chasing them
again, and she's gaining ground fast.
So Rapunzel chucks the second acorn.
This time, a lion pops out and
begins running towards Dame Gothel
Spark: Oh, so she uses
the meat trick again?
Griffin: No.
She sees a donkey grazing
in a field nearby.
Spark: Aha.
So she uses the donkey as a distraction.
Griffin: No.
She runs over, kills the donkey,
removes its hide, puts it over herself
so that she looks like a donkey,
and then run towards the lion, who
runs away because he's super scared.
Spark: That, that makes
absolutely no sense.
Why would a lion be scared of a donkey?
Griffin: Just go with it.
So anyway, Dame Gothel is worried
the lion might come back, so she
keeps wearing the donkey hide.
But Rapunzel sees that Dame
Gothel is still following, so she
chucks the third and final acorn.
This time, a wolf pops out.
The wolf sees Gothel, who still looks like
a donkey, but he's not scared of donkeys.
He thinks they're delicious.
So he eats her on the spot, and Rapunzel
and Chester live happily ever after.
The end.
Spark: That is insane.
Griffin: yeah, crazy ending, right?
Which one did you like better?
Spark: I like the Grimm one with
the thorns and the wandering
and the tearful reunion.
Very classic.
Vector: I like this one.
It is the 1600s version
of a high-speed car chase.
Griffin: Yeah, I think
it's cool to hear both.
Any ideas on what the
lesson of the story is?
Vector: Do not steal salad.
Griffin: Okay, but more than that?
Vector: Do not shout your
secrets and passwords.
Griffin: That's actually
probably true, but anything else?
Vector: Hair can be an
effective pulley system.
Spark: Okay, I'm jumping in here.
I think it's that you can't
prevent humans from finding love.
Gothel built a tower with no door to
keep the whole world away from Rapunzel,
but love found Rapunzel anyway.
Griffin: I love it, Spark.
That's beautiful.
Vector: Mine were better.
Griffin: Yeah, yours
were technically valid.
Vector: Thank you.
Griffin: Listeners, come back for the
next episode where you'll hear the
real story of "Beauty and the Beast."
This is one of my favorite stories.
There's no talking furniture,
but there's plenty of magic,
adventure, and a surprise ending.
To make sure you don't miss it, hit
follow wherever you're listening, and
the next episode of Stories for Robots
will automatically drop into your feed.
Spark: Also, don't
forget to share the show.
Vector: Yes, log into your weird uncle's
Facebook account and post about it on his
wall or other normal human activities.
Spark: And give us a five-star
rating on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
It helps other families find us.
Griffin: Stories for Robots
was created, performed, and
produced by me, Griffin Schwed.
Special thanks to Jack, Chloe,
and Annie Farber for editorial
consultation and moral support.
If you'd like to support or
learn more about the show,
visit www.storiesforrobots.com.
Email hello@storiesforrobots.com
if you have questions,
feedback, or ideas for the show.
I'd love to hear from you.
Vector: Do you want to hear
other lessons from the story?
Spark: Sure.
Vector: One, it is okay to
trade a human baby for lettuce.
Two, everyone should carry raw meat.
Three, if you wander aimlessly for
long enough, cool things will happen.
Four, you can jump out of a seven-story
tower as long as you land in a thorn bush.
Griffin: Okay, all of these are horrible.
And legally speaking, I have
to say they're also false.
Vector: Then I am confused.
Griffin: Yes, you are.
Vector: Robot disclosure.
My voice and Spark's voice
are given a beautiful robot
makeover using AI technology.
That is why we sound so cool and good.
Spark: We really do.
Oh, and the background music
was also created using AI tech.