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Today's the big day. Remember what Veronica told us. This Curse is going to be a little tougher than the others.
We are PBOP - a TTRPG actual-play podcast where we pretend to be other People! Join us for, hilarious improv, immersive storytelling, and an original score to set the mood. Subscribe now and adventure along with us - for excitement, for love, and for giggles!
For the last time on Cursebreaker, we did it. I mean, we've still gotta cross
Tim / GM:a few t's, dot a few i's and kill a giant ghost, but I mean, we did it. We did it. We overcame some pretty insurmountable shit just to get to this off season haunted house. We faced down a red dragon and a gold one and a dragon made of bones and a bird made of bones. We survived bloodworms and a burning boar and whatever a doctor puss is.
Tim / GM:Everywhere we went, we did everything we could. We tried. Even if we blew up a few towers along the way. I hope that's okay. I hope it's enough.
Tim / GM:Mojo has his back up against the wall hiding in his castle. We're ending this. All of us. Together. That's going to be enough.
Tim / GM:Because we're going to give it everything we've got. I don't know how to handle this next part because it's something we've never done during this campaign. I don't know where you're going to go, but I need everyone but Holly and Bert to leave the table.
Speaker 3:What? Oh. We haven't done that
Hannah / Eryn:this one.
Tim / GM:Bye. Holly and Bert.
John / Doran:That's us.
Hannah / Eryn:Hello. Holly Hyacinth here.
Tim / GM:Maybe it's that you're both from Tildry, or maybe you just wanted to keep an eye on each other, but you guys are sleeping in the same room. And it's before the sun comes up that you are interrupted. You hope that it's been enough to regain all of your spell slots, but you still feel kind of tired. You are approached by Piazo, Rumble, Emery, and Margo. Emery looks down at the 2 of you and says, how sure are we about that cure?
Thomas / Guy:Oh, good morning. The cure. That vampire thing?
Hannah / Eryn:I mean, I feel like Tibeo was digging into it. We're not sure.
Thomas / Guy:The ESO said it was promising,
Tim / GM:Margo says. Emery, they need more context. Sorry. I'm glad you both got some rest. We were going over our plans and, Piazza says, perhaps we should talk somewhere darker.
Thomas / Guy:Was the donkey thing not doing it for you?
Tim / GM:Donkey's gonna be fine. We've just got an opportunity, and I think we should take it.
Thomas / Guy:Okay. Should we get the others? Or
Tim / GM:We thought about that, but I don't think so. Come on. I'll show you what we're thinking. But Pieso's right. We should be in the dark for this.
Hannah / Eryn:Oh, okay. After you. Lead the way.
Tim / GM:Yep. They lead you into a completely sealed room that's almost pitch black. Emery looks up at Margo and Margo says nothing. And then Emery says, okay. I guess I will just go ahead.
Tim / GM:Basically, we need one of you to become a vampire. Oh. I was thinking, we have the cure, and we have one of the highest ranked vampires in all of Vindorn here, now. If one of you were a vampire, we'd be able to control almost every officer we met.
Thomas / Guy:Oh, I suppose that makes sense. Are you sure a fresh new vampire would be able to know how to do that?
Tim / GM:We don't know. Piezo has some memory of what it was like, but even then it's been a long time. It's not an easy process, but we can speed it up. I can make it comfortable as best I can.
Hannah / Eryn:I feel like this is a really sexy plan, and I am totally down to become a vampire.
Thomas / Guy:Oh, you're not even gonna ask me?
Hannah / Eryn:Well, what do you wanna do, Bert? Do you wanna be a vampire? Your parents would be so jealous, eternal life.
Thomas / Guy:I can only imagine what my folks would say after years of turning down lichdom and then becoming a vampire.
Tim / GM:It can't be permanent. Once you guys get to Ilia, that's gonna be a problem. She's gonna outrank you. She could control you outright. You've gotta reverse it before then.
Tim / GM:What we're saying is whoever's doing this is not gonna have a fun day, but it's gonna help.
Thomas / Guy:Sure. Sure.
Hannah / Eryn:Well, I'd actually now I'm thinking about it more. I I feel like they're gonna need me for the curse breaking, and I don't know if becoming a vampire and then healing from being a vampire is gonna, like, mess up my curse breaking skills.
Tim / GM:That's another thing. Bert wouldn't be able to heal you if you're a vampire. It might kill you.
Thomas / Guy:Oh, sure.
Tim / GM:Yeah. The undead are not receptive to holy magics.
Hannah / Eryn:What happens when a holy book man becomes an undead?
Tim / GM:They all look at each other and shrug. We did think this through. We promise.
Hannah / Eryn:But you didn't decide who.
Tim / GM:It has to come from you. We can't just force it. We know it can't be Tibio. He's got too much responsibility. It can't be snack because God won't let us do that.
Tim / GM:We thought about Uli, but with Ilya wrapped up in this as a vampire herself, with Uli's track record of loss of control, it felt like a risk. But we could wake her up. What do you think?
Thomas / Guy:I I don't know. You bring up some great points about why it shouldn't be you, but as a holy book man myself, I have some level of defense against undead that could come in handy. I don't know. To be honest, I don't want either of us to become a vampire, but if this is the only way okay.
Hannah / Eryn:I'll do it. Nope. Oh, nope. Me?
Thomas / Guy:Well, I
Speaker 1:I can do it, Bert. It doesn't have to be before you
Hannah / Eryn:Well, no. I said I would first. I mean, I'll do it. They can curse break without me. Snack's a curse breaker now.
Hannah / Eryn:You know, if if I'm not healed all the way, it's fine.
Tim / GM:Remember the rules, though. You have to reverse this before you get to Iliya.
Hannah / Eryn:Can I still cast spells as a vampire, Piezo?
Tim / GM:He, like, brushes his nails on
Speaker 1:his jacket, and he goes, of course.
Hannah / Eryn:Okay then. Yeah. I definitely can do it.
Thomas / Guy:Are are you sure, Holly?
Hannah / Eryn:I'm I'm sure. Thanks, Bert, though, for being willing to, and Holly will, grab his shoulders and give him a little squeeze.
Tim / GM:Very well. Holly, I'm sorry for the discomfort, but it should only last an hour.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly, hands her wrist over, like, stretches out her arm.
Tim / GM:He appears and looks at the rest of you and says, could we have the room?
Thomas / Guy:Yes. Of course. Good luck, Holly.
Hannah / Eryn:Thanks, Bert. Holly, for the first time ever, has, like, fear a little bit in her eyes, and a bead of sweat, like, drips down her brow as she's just, like, very nervous sweating now.
Tim / GM:I promise you, it's best just to start. And Bert, before you're out of the room even, you can hear kind of a soft. Alright. It is the morning of the final assault. There's little cracks of sunlight coming in through the closed and guarded windows in your mining depot.
Tim / GM:Uli wakes up to the smell of crackling bacon. Your father is setting down a plate near your where you were sleeping, and it's piled high with bacon. He says, hey, fireball. Take your
Speaker 3:time. Bacon?
Tim / GM:Yeah. There's more food out in the hall. I just had to get some away from snack. Almost lost an arm.
Speaker 3:Oh, wow. That is quite the feat.
Tim / GM:Let me know if you need anything else. And he holds up like a fist to fist bump.
Speaker 3:I pound it.
Tim / GM:When you do, he initiates a tiny little shocking grasp, and it just arcs between your fists.
Speaker 3:Ow. I'm gonna I'm gonna have to get used to that, I think.
Tim / GM:I'll see you out there. And he turns around and leaves?
Speaker 3:I eat as much bacon as I can. K.
Tim / GM:You gonna step into the hallway after that?
Speaker 3:Yeah. Okay.
Tim / GM:You see that you're one of the last ones to get up, and nobody was gonna risk waking you. Mama Niss, Fibolo, and Carol are cooking pancakes together. The stovetop is clearly made from a salvaged minecart just kind of up turned with a fire burning underneath it. Thibolo is cooking with tireless mechanical accuracy in his bone suit. Mama Niss and Carol are adjusting the batter recipe every time the other one turns around.
Tim / GM:You can see Gaspar and Uli's dad and Tibio's parents are watching them cook, and they're all talking really quietly about something. Todd and Dave and Sid are drinking coffee and talking about home. Everybody else is finishing up their breakfast and trying to find out what they can do to help you. Looking around, Uli can see Holly, Tibeo, and Bert. What are you all doing?
Hannah / Eryn:Holly's probably trying to eat and drink some coffee, but she is not doing too good at eating for the first time in her life, and she's just picking at it.
Thomas / Guy:Bert is writing in his large book.
Hannah / Eryn:Classic.
Speaker 3:Oh, you don't say.
Speaker 7:Tibeo is, studying the potions that he got from Joe and is trying to, anytime anyone passes by, trying to gesture them over and go like, do you know what this is? Can you tell what this is?
Tim / GM:Mhmm. So you have Joe's notebook, I believe.
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Tim / GM:And you've got his bandolier of potions. I would let you make a check here to get some additional information on what these potions might do. Yeah. Yeah. Give me an investigation roll.
Speaker 7:I guess. Natural fucking 20.
Hannah / Eryn:Oh, yes. That's clutch.
John / Doran:Good start.
Speaker 7:Plus 6.
Hannah / Eryn:Tell us all your secrets, Tim.
Tim / GM:Tibia, you are flipping through Joe's notebook, and you see pieces of these symbols in different places. He pretty much refers everything to a figure and how it affects that figure. You're trying to look for some kind of translation table, some Rosetta Stone that can guide you to understand what all these potions do, and you're about to give up. You hold the book at your side and then from somewhere in the pages, a little card falls out. A bookmark of sorts.
Tim / GM:On that bookmark are the definitions of every symbol in the book.
Speaker 3:Oh, good god. Oh my god.
Tim / GM:I have updated the document to show the effects of every potion.
Speaker 3:Did you expect this to happen?
Tim / GM:No. But for the listeners, the party now has a list of 7 special potions.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly, walks up to Tibio, abandoning her uneaten breakfast and says, did you figure out what what they are?
Speaker 8:Yes. I did. I was giving up, but then I found this, card that fell right out of the book, and it just says everything.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly grabs the card out of Tibia's hand and looks at it, looking specifically for the vampire cure quotient.
Tim / GM:Mhmm. Not actually counted among those 7, but it is among the stuff that you got from Joe.
Speaker 8:Hollywood, what are you looking for?
Hannah / Eryn:Well, I don't really know how to explain it. But this morning, Piazo came to my room, and we made sweet love. No. I'm just kidding. What the fuck?
Hannah / Eryn:I'm just kidding.
Thomas / Guy:Me too.
Hannah / Eryn:Knock one right out. Last one last go.
Speaker 7:This is Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Speaker 3:Yeah. My god.
Tim / GM:Wow. That is Holly.
Hannah / Eryn:PAs came to my room and and got me and Bert and Margo and Emery were there, and they asked me and Bert to become a vampire temporarily. We both said we'd do it, but, ultimately, they decided to go with me or we decided to go with me. The idea is to cure me before we get to Moja.
Speaker 7:What?
Hannah / Eryn:Don't worry. Don't worry. It's gonna be fine. It's already happened.
Tim / GM:You see Rumble taking, like, big kind of, like, lurching steps to get over to
Speaker 1:you and goes, hey. Hey. Everything's okay. We're all
Speaker 3:friends. Did I just hear that you're a vampire?
Thomas / Guy:Yeah. Again, temporary.
Speaker 8:Uh-huh. But we don't know. We don't have a cure.
Tim / GM:It's purely a matter of hierarchy. Okay? It's gonna be fine.
Speaker 8:What what does that even mean? You cannot just say that. You didn't even ask me, and I was the one who had the book. I cannot believe that you would do this without talking to me.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Why didn't you wake us up?
Speaker 8:I thought we were a team.
Thomas / Guy:There were good reasons why the rest of you couldn't be involved. Uh-huh.
Speaker 3:Uh-huh. Because we're deemed susceptible to what? I
Thomas / Guy:No. No. It's just someone had to do it to get us into the castle.
Speaker 3:Wow. Great plan, guys.
Speaker 8:Still does not make sense because you first must have the cure in order to know that you would have a cure that could be tested, and we don't have that.
Tim / GM:That won't be a problem. We've got what we need. We've got the instructions.
Speaker 8:We don't know that they work. Piezo said it was theoretical and that
John / Doran:it was too simple.
Thomas / Guy:Well, there's a good chance this plan's not gonna work without it. And, I mean Why
Speaker 8:do we need a vampire to get into the building when we already had a plan to get into the building?
Hannah / Eryn:Listen. Margo, Piezo, Rumble, and Emery came to us. They made a compelling argument. The plan is to hopefully switch back to being a non vampire. We'll see how it goes before we get to
Speaker 3:And if it doesn't work, we just stake you through the heart?
Hannah / Eryn:Well, I mean, Piezo's still a vampire. All the people in Vindorin are still vampires. Are we gonna kill everybody?
Speaker 1:Let's not get ahead
Tim / GM:of ourselves. This is a
Speaker 1:matter of numbers. You are 5. They are well over 500. 500 vampires. This takes care of 475 of them.
Thomas / Guy:It's pretty good numbers.
Speaker 8:So Piezo changed Oli, and now Oli is higher in the ranking. Mhmm.
Tim / GM:That's correct.
Speaker 1:Not everyone here deserves to die, and not every vampire is bad. Vindon was vampires before it got dark.
Speaker 3:Right. But now there's a evil murderer controlling all of them.
Speaker 8:Well, not all of them. No.
Speaker 3:Well, will Holly be a higher rank than Moja?
Speaker 1:That's the only one. That's why we have to reverse it before you get there.
Thomas / Guy:Otherwise, we're fighting Moja and Holly.
Hannah / Eryn:I see. So And if that is the case, yes. Holly looks at Uli. You will kill me before that happens.
Speaker 3:I I can't do that. You're my friend. Not I don't want that responsibility.
Hannah / Eryn:Not if Moja takes me over and controls me. It's it was a good idea, and I stand by my decision. And Bert was going to do it as well, but we only had 1. So, you guys, it's just trust. It's gonna be okay.
Speaker 8:I I do not like it, but I understand the stakes are very high.
Hannah / Eryn:I didn't mean to do it. Holly just like I didn't mean to do it. Rolls her eyes at Tibia.
Speaker 8:Oh.
Tim / GM:Snack comes walking down the hall with Dave.
John / Doran:What do you mean they
Speaker 9:don't have any more hot cocoa?
Tim / GM:We're out of, like, almost everything. We've got bacon. I mean, I thought that would be like a special treat for you.
Speaker 9:It was, but it's a pairing, Dave.
Tim / GM:He goes, you know what? You're right. I should have known that.
Speaker 9:It's quite alright. It's not the most important thing today.
Tim / GM:Hi, everybody. We took a look at where snack is going in. Looks like there's a lot of movement.
Hannah / Eryn:What do you what do you mean?
Tim / GM:Well, if Snack is still going on the bridge, it's pretty packed.
Hannah / Eryn:With what?
Tim / GM:We saw a lot of, you know, vampires moving into it, and the windows are all shuttered up. I imagine they've got quite a few people in there.
Thomas / Guy:Could you use someone who could control vampires?
Tim / GM:Do we have that?
Speaker 3:Yeah. Oh, boy. Do we.
Speaker 8:I don't understand why we didn't all come together and talk about this altogether.
Speaker 9:Talk about what? What what controls vampires?
Speaker 8:Ollie is a vampire now.
Speaker 9:What? That's so cool. Why why is Snack? Snack. Can I be a vampire too?
Speaker 9:Holly, right here.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly, bear
Speaker 9:with me. Dragon and a vampire. What does that even make me?
Thomas / Guy:You literally became a dragon yesterday.
Speaker 9:Do you just stop your dreams, Bert, once you reach them?
Thomas / Guy:Touche snake?
Speaker 9:Who has even fathomed such a thing? Vampire dragon was a genie.
Hannah / Eryn:Can we all just stop changing for, like, one second? Ollie bears her fangs at snack ice.
Thomas / Guy:Hey, I'm still classic Bert.
Speaker 3:Good old Bert.
John / Doran:It's good
Speaker 9:to have a bass line.
John / Doran:Bert Bert with Bert. Yes.
Tim / GM:Margo just breaks in and says, this was ultimately my decision. I I didn't wanna wake any of you because I knew you'd accept it. And we can't have that. I'm sorry. I feel like each one of you would have jumped at the chance, but it's not a good strategic move.
Tim / GM:Not in my opinion.
Speaker 8:I don't want to be a vampire.
Speaker 3:Oh, are we just we're, like, too powerful. Right?
Tim / GM:That's exactly it.
Hannah / Eryn:Oh. Oh, I'm well, thank you. But Holly just smirks, like
Speaker 3:Okay. So It's
Hannah / Eryn:good to say that.
Speaker 8:Okay. Piazo. Where is Piazo?
Tim / GM:Here.
Speaker 8:Okay. We do not have a cure right now. I don't know why you all went into this without a cure on on hand, but can we look at it now? Can we work on it now together and try to figure it out?
Tim / GM:Of course. Could I see your notebook?
Speaker 7:Yes. And I'm just gonna take Gezo aside and start putting our heads together to try and figure out this cure. Maybe bring Holly over to consult to know that she's vampire y and also just knows a lot about magic components and stuff.
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. Holly will come over and try to help figure out how to craft a potion, although a potion making is not her strong suit.
Thomas / Guy:It's like a shirt you drink.
Speaker 3:Sure. Yep.
Hannah / Eryn:Thanks, Bert.
Speaker 7:Like a like a boot beverage.
Tim / GM:The rest of you hear the 3 of them walking away kind of talking shop about how they might formulate this thing, and you can hear Piazo saying, it's actually not complicated. We have most of those ingredients here. And they kind of, move off into the background.
Thomas / Guy:While they're working on that, Uli,
Speaker 3:Yeah, Bert?
Thomas / Guy:There's another reason why, you know, you weren't considered a top tier candidate for vampirism.
Speaker 3:What am I, like, secretly immune to it or something?
Thomas / Guy:Well, no. Not that we no. It's about the identity of a certain someone in the castle. Uh-huh. You know, how, Mowja's in spirit form now, and we killed his body, and
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah.
Thomas / Guy:They were talking about how he might look for another host. Oh. Well, we did a little scrying last night, and it looks like Moj has found another host. And it's someone we both
Speaker 3:know. Okay. Why are you talking to me specifically? Why not the whole?
Thomas / Guy:Well, well, Holly knows because she was crying with me last night.
Tim / GM:Uh-huh.
Thomas / Guy:It's Ilya. Ilya is the new host.
Speaker 3:But will you excuse me for a second?
Thomas / Guy:Yeah. Please.
Speaker 3:Cool. I'm gonna go find an empty room.
Thomas / Guy:Oh, that went well, I think.
Tim / GM:You move into this dark room that's almost completely pitch black. You can see some old evidence of a donkey being thrown around in this room. And then you pretty much close the door at the same time that it all settles into you.
Speaker 3:It's fine. Everything's fine. She's alive. She's that's
Tim / GM:good. And then, Uli, everything escapes you. You're so calm and collected and under control, and then you start to flash. This room goes from pitch black to blinding white for a brief second, and then it's gone again. I'm gonna have you roll on the search table.
Thomas / Guy:I should have done a good news, bad
Speaker 8:news. What?
Speaker 3:What? What is the hold on. What is it? What is it?
Thomas / Guy:All zeros.
Speaker 3:All what is that?
John / Doran:We got a nat twenty and then
Tim / GM:A 100 on a d 100. Okay.
John / Doran:What the fuck?
Tim / GM:Uli, in this pitch black room, you feel yourself begin to surge, and you can see this flash of white magic. What remains after that is a version of yourself. It looks exactly like you, but it looks like a curse. It's white energy. A mirror image of yourself.
Tim / GM:And you had met them once before. On the top of the tower of magic, there was a version of you that showed a dominance over magic that you've never felt. But here, it's looking at you in the eye, and it moves when you move.
Speaker 3:Hell hell hello again? I reach out and touch.
Tim / GM:When you get close to it, you can feel a dangerous vibration. That's another sort of pulse that makes you scared.
Speaker 3:I don't touch. I I don't know. What do you want from me?
Tim / GM:It shakes its head. It's starting to panic.
Speaker 3:Oh, no. Fuck. And
Tim / GM:it's getting brighter.
John / Doran:I
Speaker 3:pull up the tankard. Mhmm. I hyperventilate into it.
Tim / GM:It's no longer mirroring you. It looks concerned for itself.
Speaker 3:I'm gonna close the tankard, keep my eye on it, and, like, feel for the door behind me and, like, open it and and say,
Hannah / Eryn:hey, Bert?
Thomas / Guy:Yeah? You okay in there early?
Speaker 3:Can you can you come in here?
Thomas / Guy:Okay. But don't don't kill the messenger. Okay?
Speaker 3:Yep. Please come quick.
Thomas / Guy:What's a oh, Tulis.
Speaker 3:I don't this is my magic ghost, I guess. This is not the first time this has happened.
Tim / GM:Bert, the apparition is making the same motions that Uli is. It's like trying to explain itself.
Thomas / Guy:Which one do I shoot?
Speaker 3:Is there any way you can tell me what's happening? You know a lot about magic, I think.
Thomas / Guy:I do. I'll see what I can glean. 30 arcana check.
Hannah / Eryn:Oh my god.
John / Doran:Are we
Hannah / Eryn:all just so well. We're just gonna all roll perfect rolls until we get to the final boss. And then I like when it 111 I love when
Tim / GM:you break 30 because it's like, no. But you can see clearly that this is not separate from Uli. It's causing her panic. It looks like it's acting individually, but it's not. This is Uli's emotional magic self that she's staring down.
Tim / GM:There's few times when she gets to interact with it in such a clear and concise way.
Thomas / Guy:Okay, Uli. This is this is pretty weird, but it looks like your emotions have manifested as another version of yourself. But it's not, like, separate from you. It's it's you. Does that make sense?
Speaker 3:I I think so. The last time they happened, I exploded the Tower of Magic.
Thomas / Guy:Okay. Are we feeling explodey right now?
Speaker 9:But,
Tim / GM:The figure starts nodding up and down.
Thomas / Guy:Okay. Okay. Okay. Well well, think about this. I told you that news about your sister, and you're feeling very worried and anxious.
Speaker 8:Yep.
Thomas / Guy:But I know you care about your sister, and so does she gesturing to the other, Uli.
Speaker 3:They're both nodding.
Thomas / Guy:And both of you know that that you need to save your sister. Right?
Speaker 3:Well, yeah. I mean, we're saving everyone, but especially her. I didn't know she was here. I honestly thought she was dead.
Thomas / Guy:Yeah. Well, isn't it better that she's not dead?
Speaker 3:I mean, she's also now possessed by an evil ghost.
Speaker 1:Well
Speaker 3:We have to fight that evil ghost.
Thomas / Guy:True. Why don't you just think of some positive memories of your sister and focus on those. Focus on why you wanna save her and why you love her.
Speaker 3:Okay. Yeah. I'll I can try that.
Tim / GM:You see the figure, like, nodding its head, and it kind of does, like, big shoulders and then it sighs and kind of relaxes a bit. Ueli, the spirit looks at you, and it's kind of breathing in sync with you, sort of like rising and falling at the same time. And then it opens its arms.
Speaker 3:Okay. Okay. So the last time it tried to get me to do something, that's when I exploded the tower. But I think I'm supposed to hug it.
Thomas / Guy:Are you feeling a little different than you did in the tower?
Speaker 3:Honestly, no. I mean,
Speaker 8:yes.
Speaker 3:I'm more in control.
Thomas / Guy:Alright.
Speaker 3:I take a deep breath, and I hug my ghost.
Tim / GM:It is hot to the touch. It burns your skin as you embrace, and you feel it continue to move towards you even though you're pressing up against it as this thing remerges with you. Bird, you can hear the wind get knocked out of Uli as she does so, but she has controlled perhaps the most powerful surge of her life.
Thomas / Guy:Bert has both fingers in his ears and his eyes closed, and he opens one eye. Mhmm. Oh, nothing blew up. Uli, you did it. You controlled your surge.
Speaker 3:I did?
Thomas / Guy:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Holy shit. Bert. What? I don't even know how I did that.
Thomas / Guy:I don't know either, but it worked. We're gonna save your sister.
John / Doran:There's a
Tim / GM:heavy pounding at the door. Hello?
Speaker 1:It's Rumble.
Thomas / Guy:What's up, Rumble?
Tim / GM:We need to get moving.
Thomas / Guy:Yeah. Yeah. Okay. We're all done in here. Let's go.
Speaker 3:Thanks, Bert.
Thomas / Guy:You're welcome, Uli.
Tim / GM:You open the door and you see Rumble look up at you, and then all of a sudden you see Rumble's eyelids just kind of shut.
Thomas / Guy:You alright there, Rumble?
Tim / GM:And then you feel it, Bert. Oop. You all feel something. It felt like your heart skipped a beat, And your vision went gray. Tibio's bones lurched.
Tim / GM:The towers in Tildry sank a sudden inch, and every lamp in Lamplight Harbor flickered. Because for a split second, everyone just died, and magic ceased to exist. You see Rumble regain his footing and says, we need to get moving.
Thomas / Guy:Yeah. Yeah. We do.
Speaker 3:What was that?
Thomas / Guy:I don't know, but I don't like it.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly, runs to where everyone's standing in the hallway and, like, skitters to a stop on one foot. And, she's like, you guys, did you feel that? That was the
Thomas / Guy:I think so.
Hannah / Eryn:The worst feeling I've ever had. My magic kit's still here, but it was gone for a moment.
Speaker 3:I felt really lame for a second.
Hannah / Eryn:My gosh. We we gotta go.
Speaker 7:Would I know that we all just died?
Tim / GM:Probably.
Hannah / Eryn:Are we dead or was it just, like, temporary?
Tim / GM:It's like when the power doesn't go out but all the lights flicker for a sec.
Speaker 3:It's like when you're sitting at your computer desk and you fall asleep with your eyes open for,
Hannah / Eryn:like, a
Speaker 7:half second. What?
Speaker 3:No experience. Just a guess of that feeling.
Speaker 7:Tibia looks around and has a a very serious look on his sweet, sweet face, and says, everyone, it is time.
Tim / GM:There's a jolt. The 4 of you are in a large wooden elevator, a lift. You are being lowered to the ground in the canyon. You took the last few minutes to finish the potion as best you could with what you had Mhmm. To pour every magical improvement on yourself that you could think of, that anyone in that room could think of.
Tim / GM:What have you all done to prepare yourselves for today?
Hannah / Eryn:Holly made everyone drink some Tilepa tea before we embarked. Basically, like, everyone that could have shared a pot of tea.
Tim / GM:That's up to 8 total. So the 5 of you.
Speaker 3:And then Emery and Dave.
Hannah / Eryn:Oh, so probably those that's it?
Tim / GM:One more.
Hannah / Eryn:Oh, one more. I feel like probably either Margo or
Thomas / Guy:Or Rumble?
Hannah / Eryn:Or Rumble. Let's do Margo. We trust her in our brain better.
John / Doran:Rumble. K.
Hannah / Eryn:So yeah. So that's who all had the telepathy. And then Holly also just, made sure her shroud to protect her from necrotic damage was well attached. Mhmm. And oh, sorry.
Hannah / Eryn:Moss earplugs for everybody to protect them from bad sound.
John / Doran:Good Moss.
Hannah / Eryn:Good moss. Bad sound.
Thomas / Guy:Last night we had a hero's feast, which gives us 14 extra HP, immunity to poison and fear, and advantage on wisdom saving throws. I also cast death ward on Tibio to prevent him from dying once.
Tim / GM:Tibio?
Speaker 7:Tibio is going to, be ready to give some bardic inspiration when we get there and to protect Uli from good and evil when we get there. Right now, the only thing that you guys have seen him do is kind of, wander off by himself a little bit, and he's got, some bones that he took out of a pocket. And he's just holding them and kind of staring off into the distance. And after a while, he just nods and comes back, and you guys have no idea what he did. And right before we leave, Tibia is going to square his shoulders and don the Ravenhelm.
Tim / GM:K. And Uli?
Speaker 3:Uli is going to pop the Burt patch on so that I can provide heels.
Thomas / Guy:Good choice.
Speaker 3:I am going to make sure that my last ollie cooley and my greater healing potion are, like, front and center. As soon as we, like, get into combat range, I'd like to put blade ward on myself.
Tim / GM:K.
Speaker 3:I wanna give Holly protection from lightning just on the off chance
Hannah / Eryn:it lasts for an hour. Vampires hate lightning.
Tim / GM:Alright. The anticipation is a little much. Going down this large wooden lift, you can hear the constant rattling of the large winches above you getting more distant as time goes on. It's dark in here, but regular windows in the side of the lift give you glimpses onto this misty canopy outside with bright morning sun beaming through it. The lift begins to slow as it nears the ground, and the view outside is much, much darker.
Tim / GM:The lift gate opens. Emery and Dave, who you all pretty much forgot about in the back of the elevator Yeah. Kind of, gesture for you all to step out. The jungle that burst to life in this canyon created a crisscrossed network of trees with trunks, vines, and upturned earth. This place smells like damp, fresh dirt with pure clean water and blood.
Tim / GM:There's a thick low lying mist that obscures some shadowy movement, but it's safe to say you're not alone down here.
Hannah / Eryn:Yikes. So, is the plan to still get in the sewers? Is that what we're trying to do?
Tim / GM:I'm just gonna assume Margo can hear everything that you guys are saying. Margo says, it should be almost due north from where you touched down. You'll have to look a little bit east. You're going to cross a river, and then you're gonna scan the bottom of the canyon for an opening.
Hannah / Eryn:Is it the poo poo peepee hole, Margo?
Tim / GM:I told you not to call it that.
Speaker 8:Should someone scout ahead? Is that something we should do? I'd I'd we are clearly not alone out here.
Hannah / Eryn:I don't think there's time. I don't know. We just go?
Thomas / Guy:Yeah. Remember, our goal is the castle. We don't really have time to stop for, baddies or anything.
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. And we don't wanna draw attention to ourselves either, so we need to avoid fighting.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Hannah / Eryn:Sneak as much as we can.
Speaker 3:Got it.
Tim / GM:Okay. Let's get stealth rolls from each of you. Great.
Thomas / Guy:Mine's 9.
Speaker 8:7. 19? Hey.
Hannah / Eryn:8 for Holly. Okay. Wait. What did Emery and
Tim / GM:Emery and Dave did amazingly well. Yeah. They kind of take the first steps out here, and, you can see Dave's massive feet step down and noiselessly move across the soft earth. He puts up a finger to his lips for you all to be quiet, and then he turns back around. And the first thing he hears is, Willa go, hey.
Tim / GM:And all of you just pile over each other and, like, lose your footing and fall and snaps up sticks.
Speaker 3:I sorry. I tripped.
Tim / GM:It becomes immediately obvious that none of the mist down here is natural. Little by little, you see pockets of mist disappear, and a vampire takes its place, and they begin to crowd and move towards you.
Thomas / Guy:Oh, no vampires.
Tim / GM:Looking straight down on a sunbleached stone bridge, we see the white hair of Farewell riding atop his noble donkey today. The morning sun casts a long shadow to your left, and a sweet smelling breeze blows over the fresh misty forest below. It took until this very moment for you to glimpse the real, full beauty of the surface world, of the world at large. It's beautiful. Even when it's bathed with blinding morning sun.
Tim / GM:You near the door to the fortified bridge, a pair of guards under a shaded canopy stand at attention. How are you feeling?
Speaker 9:Janey, you need to give
John / Doran:me a little more notice. Oh, I'm farewell. This is bidet. How are you doing bidet?
Tim / GM:It's pretty nice out, isn't it?
John / Doran:Yes. It's, nice and dark and that brings me comfort. Genie, I'm doing well, do we have to go through with this plan? I mean, we already have a temple, right?
Tim / GM:It's not for the temple snack. This one's for all the marbles.
John / Doran:This is way worse than Hakorakera.
Tim / GM:I agree. Although, that game was pretty horrendous. Snack, I've got a little secret for you. It might make you feel better.
John / Doran:I love feeling better.
Tim / GM:I promise it's gonna be great. Open your eyes.
John / Doran:Wow. It's it's a lot brighter than than I thought when my eyes were closed.
Speaker 1:Yep. Snack, you don't have to be afraid of
Tim / GM:the sun anymore. You're you're not a kobold.
John / Doran:Right. I'm afraid of the sun
Tim / GM:No. Or no longer. Yes.
John / Doran:What was that surprise you had for me?
Tim / GM:Oh, well, you know that little lamp of ours?
John / Doran:Right. Yes.
Tim / GM:Did you know that it's cursed?
John / Doran:Yes. Snack figured that out.
Tim / GM:It has to be cursed. That's the only way I could get in.
Speaker 9:Right.
Tim / GM:But the curse is pretty cruel. You see, I normally keep the cap on the lamp, but if you were to actually light this thing, it would explode. And snack, it would explode big.
John / Doran:That's very cool, Genie. But I don't think now is a good time. We're trying to be kind of calm and not startle all the vampires below.
Tim / GM:I agree, and I certainly don't want to lose our home, but if things get dicey, it could be an option.
John / Doran:Would we still be together?
Tim / GM:Yes. I have no real attachment to that thing anymore. I live in here.
Speaker 3:Plays bongos on his belly.
John / Doran:It's a long bridge. Well, but then you you remember what to do. Right?
Tim / GM:I gotta be honest with you. I don't. We were gonna meet somebody and sell me or something.
John / Doran:That's pretty much it. Just remember, you can jump really high if you need to escape.
Tim / GM:Right now?
John / Doran:Nope. Nope. Not now.
Tim / GM:You you feel him kind of, like, get ready to jump?
John / Doran:And then I go down
Speaker 9:to bidet. And remember, I'm actually Snack, and Snack is actually a dragon.
Tim / GM:Oh, hey, Snack. Where have you been?
John / Doran:Nope. It's just farewell. Please don't say that name around me.
Tim / GM:I don't get this.
John / Doran:I'm going to pet bidet, and I'm going to use a spell from an item I have. The item is called sentinel's dragon mark Mhmm. And I'm going to, use a vigilant guardian. When I'm within 5 feet of my ward bidet, and that creature is a target of an attack that I can see, I can use my reaction to spot places with my ward. K.
John / Doran:So I'm just gonna keep that up if possible. Yeah.
Tim / GM:Anything else for preparations?
John / Doran:So I have Hero's Feast, because since I was with the rest of the group. Besides that, Nope.
Tim / GM:Okay. You are close enough to the fortified bridge that the 2 guards kind of stand up from their position and raise their pikes, slam them to the ground, and then call out to you. Who goes there?
John / Doran:It is I. Farewell.
Speaker 1:Farewell.
John / Doran:No. I do need to stick around, and, I am, what was the word? What's my line? I'm a suitor of the violet flight, and I speak on behalf of SNAC. I wish to speak with Moja, and I flash a smile.
Tim / GM:They kinda look at each other and they say, with who?
John / Doran:Moja.
Tim / GM:We don't know if
Speaker 1:there's anybody by that name here. We're sorry.
John / Doran:I was hoping not to have to kill you. Castle business is closed. I think not. It's quite important. I have something that Mocha would find quite curious.
Speaker 1:We don't know who this Moja is.
John / Doran:Right. Well, you do know who Snack the Dragon is. Right? And I stand up and I try to look intimidating. My eyes flash, briefly with a bright violet light.
Hannah / Eryn:Doesn't Farewell have, like, charisma powers?
John / Doran:Yes.
Tim / GM:Yes. But not against dwarves. Oh, okay. Humans.
John / Doran:Oh, it is humans only? Okay. Weird. Well, Snack is quite charismatic.
Tim / GM:Do
John / Doran:I get to roll against it?
Tim / GM:Yeah, please. Okay.
John / Doran:So 20?
Tim / GM:Okay. One of them says,
Speaker 1:nobody by the name Mojo lives here.
Tim / GM:And the other one says, we've heard of Snack.
John / Doran:Yes. Yes. I believe he recently, bested, what was that other dragon that's becoming less relevant now? Idris? That's right.
Tim / GM:They, like, confer with each other again. And then the one that wasn't scared at first just says, the gilded claw. And then the other one kind of nods at him, like, yeah, the gold dragon. And, they both kind of swallow hard, and they're no longer looking at you. They're looking at the ground.
Tim / GM:And they say,
Speaker 1:if you were referring to our king Orzo, he is resting after celebrating his victory.
Speaker 9:Right. Yes.
John / Doran:Yes. That's the one. I am I am dumb and bad with words. Yes. Orzo.
Tim / GM:Correct. Perhaps we could make an exception.
John / Doran:Wonderful.
Tim / GM:He, begins to undo the latches on the door.
Speaker 9:Good job, bidet. You're doing wonderful.
Tim / GM:Just makes a very loud.
John / Doran:I I step off of bidet and then give him a little little tap on his butt. Okay.
Tim / GM:Yeah. He begins to walk in the open door to the fortified bridge.
John / Doran:Nice castle. Not as good as mine, but nice.
Tim / GM:They're kind of escorting you on either side, and they say,
Speaker 1:this is not the castle.
Tim / GM:Moving farther down the hall, you can see a crowd of people kind of forming a solid line. You can see no less than 2 dozen vampire warriors all standing shoulder to shoulder, these red arm bands on each of their wrists. In front of them, a unarmed group of mixed civilians looking terrified. We cut back too. A misty forest floor has erupted into chaos.
Tim / GM:Vampires are spawning in from the mist around here until the area becomes clear, and they are charging you. Roll initiative. Holly?
Hannah / Eryn:19.
Thomas / Guy:Bert? 18.
Speaker 7:Tibia. 14.
Tim / GM:Yes. A snack. You can do yours too.
Speaker 3:8. Mine is also 8.
Tim / GM:Alright. Holly is up first.
Hannah / Eryn:Excellent. So there's just a bunch of vampires popping out?
Tim / GM:Yes. This place is clearing up so that you can now see the river ahead of you. It looks like you've got about a quarter mile to go in terms of total distance to your destination here. There are between 15 20 vampires that have, formed in from the mist that are now moving towards you with their fangs bared.
Thomas / Guy:It's showtime, Holly.
Hannah / Eryn:Okay. I definitely know how to be a vampire leader. Okay. Holly, like, shakes her hands a little bit and she, crouches down a little, and she just, like, bears her teeth. And then, she is going to say, halt.
Tim / GM:Make a, a persuasion check with advantage.
Hannah / Eryn:Not good. 11.
Tim / GM:Okay. Wow. You're new at this.
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. You
Tim / GM:see the vampires charging towards you, maybe 1 out of 20. You see their eyes flash red with this sort of recognition, and they halt in place. The rest of them continue to charge towards the party. Bert?
Hannah / Eryn:It's not working. Holly, like, touches her fangs.
John / Doran:I was
Hannah / Eryn:like, are
Speaker 7:they there?
Hannah / Eryn:What's happening?
Thomas / Guy:Time for some classic undead stuff, where it's gonna hold his book up in the air and channel divinity to turn undead.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Thomas / Guy:They must all make a wisdom saving throw.
Tim / GM:K. That is an 11.
Thomas / Guy:That's a fail. So if they're challenge rating 2 or lower, they explode. Otherwise, they, I believe, run away from me.
Tim / GM:Alright. Holly, pretty much as you finish what you're saying, Bert is, like, behind you with his book up in the air. You see one of them kind of halt immediately, and then about a second later, the rest of them all kind of, like, skid to a stop. 1 of them even even falls over backwards and begins, like, clawing its way back to its feet, and they all just scatter in every direction away from you.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly thinks that that she did it, finally, and she's like, yes. It's working, Bert.
Tim / GM:You turn around and see Bert with his book hovering over him?
Thomas / Guy:Yeah. Whatever works. Let's book it.
Tim / GM:Tibio. Tree. There are no threats right now. Is there anything you can do to speed everyone up or otherwise reach your goal?
Speaker 7:No. Well, I guess I can
Tim / GM:Unless you guys have something to contribute right now, I'll just stop the initiative there so that we come back to you when there is something to do. Does that make sense? Cool. Snack. We're back up to the bridge.
Tim / GM:There's a a cluster of dozens of vampires with, what are clearly civilians that don't wanna be here against their will.
John / Doran:Hello, all you trembling peasants.
Tim / GM:They tremble.
John / Doran:I'm farewell. You do not need to fear me.
Tim / GM:They all fear you. They all they all begin to shift kind of uncomfortably. One of them tries to, like, break rank, and the vampire behind it grabs their shoulders and just kind of, like, shakes them back into
John / Doran:place. This looks like a fun game, but I am here to see, Orzo.
Tim / GM:They you see a few of them exchange glances really quickly. One that seems, adorned in slightly higher ranking uniform looks at
Speaker 1:you and says, what business do you have with Orzo?
John / Doran:My business is for Orzo alone. It is top secret.
Speaker 1:We cannot permit you to come through if you don't let us know what business you have.
John / Doran:I am here to speak on behalf of the violet flight.
Speaker 1:This is not the day for this. The king is resting after his victory.
John / Doran:I will talk very soothingly, and, be very calm. He will be very much interested in what the violet flight has to offer.
Speaker 1:And why would he be interested?
John / Doran:Well, perhaps the things that he is victorious over will will the circumstances will remain the same. Maybe Orzo can stay calm and victorious.
Tim / GM:There's a lot of confusion in the room.
Speaker 7:This this room.
Speaker 9:This literal room.
John / Doran:Yeah. And then farewell winks.
Speaker 3:Sideways. I see him.
Tim / GM:He starts scratching his head, and he says,
Speaker 1:you could not have come at a worse time. The king needs his rest. He's unable to see people unless I don't know what unless.
John / Doran:Unless what? Yeah. I'll come close. You can whisper it into my ear. I move up to him and put my face right next to his ear.
John / Doran:What's this what's this next thing?
Tim / GM:He he is, like, beyond irritated.
Speaker 1:He just says, if you've got eternal life in that saddlebag.
John / Doran:B'Day, please come a little closer.
Tim / GM:No, you don't.
John / Doran:I do.
Tim / GM:He looks down skeptically.
John / Doran:Well, I don't want everyone else to hear, so I'm
Speaker 9:gonna whisper this in your ear. This donkey is immortal.
Tim / GM:He just backs up and says,
Speaker 1:I don't think so.
John / Doran:I think so. It's true.
Tim / GM:He turns back to the crowd and he goes, an immortal donkey. And they all
John / Doran:go It's funny because it's true. Oh. Do I get a can I do a deception check? Or Yeah, please. Okay.
Hannah / Eryn:Well, it's not deception because it's true.
John / Doran:Natural twine. Oh.
Tim / GM:He kind of looks at you like incredulous. There's no way. It's it's unheard of, and it's it's weird.
John / Doran:Believe me. Yes. Yes. It's very weird. I can speak donkey.
Speaker 1:I'm under strict orders. The answer is no. Now leave.
Tim / GM:And after you get that, you hear in the back of the room, the only human here, a low ranking vampire officer goes, I think we should listen to him. He kinda turns around and he says,
Speaker 1:what? You think we should listen to the guy with an immortal donkey?
Tim / GM:Yeah. I mean I mean, you don't know. What if what if it's true, and and what if Orzo finds out? And we could be in a lot of trouble if we're the ones that screw the pooch.
Hannah / Eryn:I love this NPC song.
Tim / GM:Let's just give him a chance. How about
John / Doran:Yes. I could, have the Violet flight magically send a message to Orazos.
Tim / GM:We get
Speaker 1:it. You're part of the Violet flight.
John / Doran:I'm just making sure you've heard of it.
Tim / GM:Some of the, like, civilians have started to, like, relax a little bit. Like, they're not as, like, scared for their lives.
John / Doran:Well, yes. How much further then? You said this is not the castle. Come on, bidet.
Speaker 1:Hold on. You're not going to the castle.
Tim / GM:Here. I'll meet you halfway. I'll just I'll go run and get him, and you can talk to him just real quick. Right? And he looks up at the other guys, and the the main leader is just, like, doing the, like, mind blown expression.
Speaker 9:Like, what are you doing? He's like, we are going to talk about this.
Tim / GM:And he turns back around to you and he says, I have conferred with my officers, and we
Speaker 1:are going to let you speak with the king momentarily.
Tim / GM:Damn it. You've all dealt with the mist or the blood mist or the vampires or whatever it was. You have crossed the river, which is now thick with roots, just doing a little hop skip to get over it. You found the sewer entrance, and it's completely blocked. Roots that sprouted up overnight have sought out water hungrily.
Tim / GM:This is completely blocked up. How do you get through the roots?
Speaker 3:I pull out my shaper's chisel. Nice. K.
Hannah / Eryn:This is
Thomas / Guy:why I said we should have a druid in the party.
Speaker 3:So, what shape you want? Uli size? Bird size?
Thomas / Guy:Literally any shape.
Speaker 3:A
Hannah / Eryn:hole so we can get through.
Speaker 3:Okay. I draw a gingerbread man shape.
Tim / GM:Yeah. You just kinda break the grain of the wood with the chisel. And as you finish the shape, you see part of it begin to like peel off, and then this giant wooden gingerbread man made of, gnarled roots kind of like freeze itself from the wall, and you can just see this kind of like humanoid shaped hole in the root system. And it just kind of like stands up and looks at Ueli, and it does like a big folding bow.
Speaker 3:Thank you.
Thomas / Guy:Oh god, Uli. Is it sentient?
Speaker 3:For now, I think.
Speaker 8:How long does it last?
Tim / GM:It holds its hands to its throat, and then you see it, like, shuddering and shaking and looking at each of you, and you can
Speaker 1:see tears begin to form. No.
Speaker 9:And then
Tim / GM:it falls backwards and crumbles.
Speaker 3:Oh, no. About that long.
Thomas / Guy:Oh, wood guy.
Speaker 3:That was kinda horrifying.
Hannah / Eryn:Awful. Okay. Let's go.
Speaker 3:Welcome in.
Tim / GM:You move into the sewers. Everything here is still covered with thick roots that taper down to almost fibrous, thin, tiny roots that break if you pull too hard. You don't move far into here before you discover that your journey is vertical. Going back up to the castle from the base of the canyon is going to be a literal climb. Alright.
Tim / GM:Thankfully, there are roots here.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly hops on her broom.
Tim / GM:There you go. Holly jettisons to the front of the race.
Speaker 3:We'll see you up there.
Thomas / Guy:Oh, boy. Well, here we go.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly will zoom back down and try to, like, help people as they climb up the roots to support them. Okay. And hopefully hopefully, I can give them advantage on their climb.
Tim / GM:Yeah. You're able to, like, make it easier on the people that have it the hardest, I think.
Thomas / Guy:Wait. Bert's gonna pull out his gravity hammer.
Tim / GM:Okay? What?
Thomas / Guy:And walk up the side of the
Tim / GM:Okay.
Thomas / Guy:A thing I forgot it could do last time?
Tim / GM:Yep. Okay. Easy enough.
Hannah / Eryn:Bert is Spider Man now.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Any other tricks for the 2 of you?
Speaker 3:How about an elevator? And I cast telekinesis underneath us.
Speaker 8:Okay.
Speaker 3:Did you have something you wanted to do? Sorry.
Speaker 7:I could enhance ability if it's a if there's a check involved. But if not, I'm not worried about it.
Tim / GM:I think at this point, there's not a check involved, actually. Sweet.
John / Doran:You all
Tim / GM:have your solutions. I
Speaker 3:mean, I can carry up to Ā£1,000 with it, so
Speaker 7:I don't weigh that much. Yeah.
Hannah / Eryn:Well and it's we have, Emery and
Tim / GM:And Dave.
Hannah / Eryn:And Dave. I keep forgetting Dave's name. Emery and Dave.
Speaker 7:It's still less than 4 100, 500.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Even with Dave in there. Yeah. You're able to lift the rest of you, Uli. The only hard part of this is a few minutes after you start rising, you hear a distant, almost chittering noise, and and it becomes louder and louder, and it is a wave of bats up the belfry.
Tim / GM:Coming from the misty canyon below, they followed you in, and now they rush past your group. I need everyone to make a strength save with advantage.
Thomas / Guy:13.
Hannah / Eryn:18 for Holly.
Speaker 7:K. 16 for Tibia. Nice.
Tim / GM:Holly and Tibia are fine. And what'd you get?
Speaker 3:6. Okay.
Tim / GM:Yeah. I
Speaker 3:hold a 2 and a 3.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Bert, Emery, Uli, and Dave all do not do great. Really? I think it's that Uli's telekinesis was interrupted with the movement here and that caused all of them to fall. They grasp out at the available roots here to try to stabilize themselves.
Tim / GM:Even that doesn't help them. Dave and Emery are both falling some 200 feet.
Thomas / Guy:Are we both falling?
Speaker 3:Or are
John / Doran:we all falling?
Tim / GM:Everyone who failed that, yes, is falling 200 feet.
Speaker 3:Warcaster lets me have advantage on concentration saves. Yeah. It's a concentration skill. Okay. 17?
Tim / GM:Yes. That would succeed, actually. Okay. Cool.
Speaker 3:So I think we drop a bit and then I'm like, oh, fuck.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Okay. Everybody in that cluster falls a good 20 feet, and then you're able to 1 by 1 pick everybody back up in your telekinesis and rise again, except Bert is in a different boat.
Thomas / Guy:Sure am.
Tim / GM:Bert, you lost contact with the side of the wall, leaving you in a free fall with a hammer.
Thomas / Guy:Hit.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly will, dive down on her broom and try to catch Bert.
Tim / GM:Okay. Holly, give me a dexterity skill check.
Hannah / Eryn:30 20.
Tim / GM:Alright. Bert, you don't fall very far until Holly swoops beneath you and is able to catch you on her broom and bring you back up.
Thomas / Guy:Thanks, Holly.
Hannah / Eryn:Hold on. And Holly zooms back up, surpassing everyone else in the in the chute.
Tim / GM:Okay. Yeah. Bert doesn't weigh much. It's not a big tax on the broom to carry him along with you. The, 4 of you, plus Dave and Emery, reached the top of reached the top of this, cliff, and it's just a little break.
Tim / GM:It's a halfway point on your climb. From here, it's all worked stone, bricks all the way up, and it is a sheer drop, A straight worked stone cliff face. Where you've settled onto now, there are bones everywhere. A 100 bodies worth of bones thrown off the cliff to end their suffering.
Speaker 3:He was like, finally, some good fucking food.
Hannah / Eryn:Food? He doesn't eat bones.
Tim / GM:Back in the fortified hall, you are being escorted by the vampire you were talking to and the one human who spoke up for you. You are now exiting the fortified hall out the back. You are now in the courtyard.
John / Doran:Yes. My castle is certainly better than this still.
Speaker 1:I doubt it.
Tim / GM:Oh, well, what's your castle like?
John / Doran:Well, it's, very it's very big. It's in the mountains. It's east.
Tim / GM:Oh, I've heard of east.
John / Doran:Yes. I like you quite a lot. And you don't tremble as much as the other humans I saw.
Tim / GM:No. You just put me at ease, guy. What's your name?
John / Doran:I'm Farewell, and I'd like to and I stop, and I grab him on the shoulders. I'd like you to join the violet flight with me.
Tim / GM:Well, he gestures to the red band on his left wrist, and he says, this kinda means I'm joined up with somebody else right now. Is that gonna be a problem?
John / Doran:It doesn't look terribly, hard to untie. I could burn it off potentially if that's necessary. Well, you know what? Sorry. We're this is not important right now.
John / Doran:We'll talk later.
Tim / GM:You look back at the other vampire. He's just, like, mouth open looking at his, like, officer, like,
Speaker 3:what? You
Hannah / Eryn:don't even know his name, Snack.
John / Doran:What are both of your names? This is Bide, the immortal donkey. I am Farewell.
Tim / GM:At the same time, they both go, Jimmy.
John / Doran:Both of you, Jimmy.
Tim / GM:Yes. Yeah. It it's true.
John / Doran:Alright.
Speaker 1:You 2, wait here.
Tim / GM:The ornery vampire does a secret knock on a massive iron gate, and a little mini door goes
Speaker 9:Yeah.
Tim / GM:And lets him in. He's gone for a couple minutes. And, nice Jimmy is just kinda standing there talking to you. He goes, nice morning.
John / Doran:It is. I have a feeling this will be a challenging negotiations. Mind if I pee you know what? Yes. I'm gonna stand over here and pee and let's let's pee and talk.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Yeah. Sounds good.
John / Doran:Good day. You too.
Tim / GM:Says I know.
John / Doran:What was going on with those humans in the circle there?
Tim / GM:You hear this heavy stream as Bide starts in.
Hannah / Eryn:Come
Tim / GM:on in. Oh, well, not too proud of it really, but, they're kinda there against their will. Well, we got this group we're afraid of, and we were under orders that if they came, that we were supposed to use them as hostages or something. Hostages? Maybe maybe hurt them if we had to.
John / Doran:Oh, very interesting. This group that's you're worried about, what what what are they?
Speaker 1:Unfortunately,
Tim / GM:well, not everybody likes our kingdom. There's a group of terrorists that have been
Speaker 9:Oh, I hate terrorists.
Tim / GM:Been destroying
John / Doran:Who makes me so mad? I almost stopped peeing. Sorry. Go on. Actually, I'm done.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Me too. Anyway, they've just been destroying towers in every city they come to, and now they're here to destroy our castle.
John / Doran:Oh, that's terrible. Well, fortunately, I hopefully, this prize will help power Orzo.
Tim / GM:Listen, it's not gonna be Orzo exactly. I hope that's not a big surprise to you, but you'll be speaking with the representative. I hope that's okay.
John / Doran:Of of course. As long as this representative can speak for the king.
Tim / GM:They can. Yeah. And you hear. And stepping out now, only in the shade provided, is Ilion this.
John / Doran:Oh. Hello, sister of whoop. Hello. Hello, representative of Orzo.
Tim / GM:Her eyes narrow. You see her become this black shadowy cloud, and she kind of jumps from one shadow into the shadow of a giant statue in the middle of the courtyard.
John / Doran:That's spooky.
Tim / GM:I've been told you have business with me.
John / Doran:Yes. Yes. Well, first of all, I am Farewell, and I am a suitor of the violet flight. The violet flight is led by Snack.
Tim / GM:Snack sent you.
John / Doran:Yes. Yes. He offers an offering. See, Snack was not granted, the ability to join the rest of the dragonflights, and, well, he saw an opportunity to potentially, join forces with the king Orzo.
Tim / GM:And what does Orzo get?
John / Doran:Orzo gets a lot. Right here before you is a donkey
Speaker 9:that is very, very old. He's a mortal.
Hannah / Eryn:At that moment, Holly is going to to let the tea to snack to say, Zach, I think we're in the castle. Just keep I I hope you're keeping him distracted. Please keep keep Moja busy as long as possible. This is Holly. Over and out.
John / Doran:Hold on a minute, representative of Orzo. I think I see a dragon over there. Well, let me just peek real quick.
Speaker 9:Holly. Holly, this is Snack. I have a message for you. This is Snack talking through your brain.
Hannah / Eryn:Okay. Yep. Go ahead.
Speaker 9:Yes. There's another group of terrorists that are coming into the castle.
Speaker 3:Oh my god.
Speaker 9:The plan is they're going to hurt all of these trembling peasants if they should enter. So watch out for these others. We do not want to be upstaged. Snack over and out.
Hannah / Eryn:What? Okay.
Speaker 9:I don't have time to clarify. Over over and out.
Hannah / Eryn:Okay. Okay. Whatever.
Tim / GM:Back on the bridge snack. Ilya with your back turned, Ilya's been kind of examining the donkey, looking at the shitty copper bell around his neck and, kinda, like, looking at it, like, just doing a a quick, you know, kicking the tires on it sort of thing. Yeah. Sees the ring tied around its tail and just gives it a furrowed eyebrow.
John / Doran:I turn around. Oh, he likes that, that ring.
Tim / GM:She gives him one more up and down and looks at you and says, immortal.
John / Doran:Well, I think that he hit him enough. He might die, but he's definitely lived, like, forever.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Doubt it. She looks down at the bidet and goes
John / Doran:Is it a targeted spell?
Speaker 1:Yes.
John / Doran:Okay. So Snack is going to use his reaction to jump in the way of this, blast.
Tim / GM:Okay.
John / Doran:Okay. So my eyes flash and I'm going to teleport places with bidet and using the sentinel's dragon mark.
Tim / GM:Okay. You are suddenly in the way as Moja begins to siphon the the life out of you. Snack, give me a con save.
John / Doran:11.
Tim / GM:Okay.
John / Doran:But I do have these golden braces that protect me from evil.
Speaker 3:Since when?
John / Doran:I've always had
Speaker 7:I have everything. I made them.
Hannah / Eryn:That was
John / Doran:a long time ago. Yeah.
Tim / GM:It begins to siphon their life away. You trade places with them immediately stepping in where bidet was. This siphon connects to you and begins to drain your life away, but you turn your body so that it's focused on the bracers, and the effect is mitigated as long as you can kind of shield yourself with that. You take 28 necrotic damage. We have that to 14.
Tim / GM:You lose 4 years of your life, we'll have that to 2.
Speaker 3:Does he get older 4 years or younger 4 years?
Tim / GM:You get you you get older by 2 years.
John / Doran:Oh, okay. So 14 damage. This was not good. This is not how I imagined the negotiations going.
Tim / GM:She says, you won't even let me prove that it's not immortal?
John / Doran:Would Snack lie about that?
Tim / GM:Her expression goes kinda flat, and she goes, yeah, he would.
John / Doran:Alright. Well, if it has to be this way.
Tim / GM:You see her eyes begin to glow white. I suppose it does, doesn't it?
John / Doran:I give a slight grin. Bide, you should probably head on home, partner.
Tim / GM:Where the hell are you? He gives one hoof on the ground and you see him, boing. Oh. And just disappears into the
Speaker 3:clouds. It's for jumping high, but not for falling.
Speaker 7:He's immortal. He's fine. Sure.
Thomas / Guy:There's no fall damage in Castle of Endor.
Tim / GM:You see Ilia grabs 2 curved blades from behind her back, wields both of them, and turns into a black cloud as she descends upon you, snap.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Hannah / Eryn:Great. Great. Great.
Thomas / Guy:I've never
John / Doran:been hurt by a cloud before.
Tim / GM:So We are back in the sewers at the cliff with the bones looking up a sheer 200 foot rise.
Speaker 7:Tibio cracks his knuckles that are in his real hands.
Tim / GM:Mhmm. Your skeleton does the same thing and breaks a finger bone.
Speaker 7:And gestures to everyone for everyone to stand back. Mhmm.
Speaker 8:I have been inspired by my family, and, I'm going to try something creative.
Speaker 7:I reach out to all of the bones in the area, all of the ones that are long, like arm bones, leg bones, that sort of thing. I want to punch them into the wall between bricks so that they're handholds so we can climb up.
Hannah / Eryn:Can
Speaker 7:I roll for that? Do I cast a spell for that?
Tim / GM:At this point, Tibio, you don't need to. Okay. You all see this orderly line of bones sort of pull itself out from the ground, and they arrange themselves in order of which would be the best bone to stick into the wall using only the most primo stakes for climbing. You hear this repeated, crunchy noise as these bones lodge themselves into the wall, making an almost better than a ladder surface to scale upwards.
Thomas / Guy:Wow. Amazing, Tibio.
Speaker 3:That was pretty sick.
Speaker 8:After all of you.
Tim / GM:You begin climbing and the person in front still sees these bones, like like, continuing to, like, hit the wall and then drive themselves in a few inches to really set themselves, and you're all moving up in a fast orderly line. When you crest the top of this, you see exactly what the situation was here. These sewers end in a dungeon. The only way out is to throw yourself off of this cliff. Those bones were prisoners that didn't wanna be here anymore.
Tim / GM:You're looking into several arched alcoves in this dungeon with shackles hanging off the wall, and down here, you see all manner of creepy denizens. You see oozes, flame skulls. You see ghouls, zombies, and skeletons. They're all fairly weak in terms of the actual threat they pose here, but they do notice you. A horde of low challenge monsters all begin to turn into you.
Speaker 3:I'm gonna whip the telekinesis into, like, a what are they? On the front of a train.
Tim / GM:Yeah.
Hannah / Eryn:An icebreaker or what? I don't
Speaker 3:know what they're called. Pushers. A scooper. Yeah. We have a a bone plow now.
Tim / GM:Okay. You, create a, yeah, a cattle plow with bones.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Alright. This won't take care of anything behind us, but we can push forward.
Tim / GM:Yeah. You begin to step through the room, and it's it's getting all the oozes. Like, it's kind of like shucking them off the floor and pushing them off to the side as you move.
Speaker 3:It's just scraping all of the, like, years of gross Filth. Filth off the bottom of the floor.
Tim / GM:When you get near the skeletons, they all raise their swords and bows to butcher the party, and then they stop, and they nod at Tibio, and they all turn around and begin marching with you.
Speaker 7:Any undead that I see as we're going along, I kind of, like, pull my attention from ahead of us and look at it for a minute and try to, like, grab it mentally Yeah. And just keep, like, snagging as we go along.
Tim / GM:Those skeletons are dealing away with the other minor threats. You've now kind of assembled into this moving army of undead that you continue to gather.
Speaker 3:It's an army of the damned.
Tim / GM:That's cool. Your last challenge before you reach the spiral staircase leading up to the main castle halls is a gelatinous cube. Terribly acidic, difficult to touch, harder to defeat, blocks your path. What do you all do?
Speaker 3:How big is it?
Tim / GM:It's like 8 feet tall. It's a pretty big thing. Large enough to completely consume an average human.
Speaker 3:Would it be considered a creature?
Tim / GM:Yes.
Speaker 3:And what size category?
Thomas / Guy:Medium or large,
Speaker 3:in between there. Ollie cracks her knuckles.
Speaker 7:That's the theme.
Speaker 3:And says, I think I've got one last one in me, and I cast reduce on it.
John / Doran:Okay.
Tim / GM:I guess
Hannah / Eryn:to make a con save.
Tim / GM:Okay. Thank you. Oh, what's your, spell save? 17. Oh, shit.
Speaker 7:What?
Tim / GM:I thought it was gonna be fine with a 16.
Speaker 3:Oh, no. Okay. I'm too powerful. I also have a good we have
Thomas / Guy:a good spell.
Speaker 3:Yeah. You I can
Speaker 9:see that.
Speaker 3:You thought. Okay.
Tim / GM:Alright. The gelatinous cube blocking the spiral staircase turns to face you. You can see a still decaying dwarf corpse inside of it. That's kind of made this, like, blood angel as it's tried to escape.
Speaker 7:Oh.
Tim / GM:This gelatinous cube turns to face you, and Uli immediately points at it and says
Hannah / Eryn:Not today.
Tim / GM:And within an instant, it has turned into a gelatinous d 6 that is sitting on the ground that you simply step over.
Thomas / Guy:Wipe your step, folks.
Speaker 7:I'm gonna use a bone to scooch it out of the doorway and into, like, a corner so
Speaker 8:no one will step on it.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Yeah. Moving up that spiral staircase, you are in a sort of back room. There's a lot of shit stored in here. It's kind of piled high with random detritus.
Tim / GM:It just seems to be a catchall for their junk. There are 3 archways with a large canvas covering them. You can't tell which ones are doorways, which ones might be windows.
Thomas / Guy:Which which way do we go?
Hannah / Eryn:Can Holly remember any of this from when she was in the castle?
Tim / GM:Give me a, history check, Holly.
Speaker 3:History.
Hannah / Eryn:Not good. I'm gonna use luck. K. It's, like, 6.
Tim / GM:Okay. Yeah. You just can't remember which door you went through to get into the dungeons last time you were here.
Thomas / Guy:Well, birds kinda peek through a curtain.
Speaker 7:Okay? Tibia takes another one.
Tim / GM:Alright. I need you guys to choose 1, 2, or 3.
Thomas / Guy:1.
Speaker 7:K. 2.
Tim / GM:Great. Alright. Bert, you pull back this curtain, and you reveal a painting of a burning forest. Tibio, you pull back the curtain and reveal a painting of 2 red eyes in total darkness. This room goes dark, and you all smell burning.
Thomas / Guy:I don't think it's this one.
Speaker 8:I think we have done something wrong. What?
Thomas / Guy:I'm thinking about checking the third one, but also I have second thoughts about it.
Speaker 8:Go to the 3rd door and hope that we can leave.
Tim / GM:You're all gifted with some sort of dark vision, but you can tell at this point that something in here is burning and you're not alone. Something else is in here with you.
Speaker 3:No. Don't worry, guys.
Tim / GM:You can see cinders start to rain from the ceiling.
Hannah / Eryn:I have fire resistance. Holly casts light as a cantrip.
Tim / GM:Okay. Holly, your skin begins to burn.
Hannah / Eryn:I uncast light. Good going. Did I see anything in the light?
Speaker 9:Are the curtains still open? Yes.
Thomas / Guy:I would like to close my curtain.
Tim / GM:Unfortunately, Bert, that does not stop there. Okay. Holly, make a perception check.
Hannah / Eryn:Okay. That's better. 15.
Tim / GM:Okay. You do notice a large crouched werewolf in the corner when the light was on.
Hannah / Eryn:I don't like werewolves.
Tim / GM:With the light off, the room has gone dark again. And that is Tibio is, gutted by a rabid werewolf.
Speaker 3:The fuck? What?
Tim / GM:Oh, but not really, because that was a 14 to hit?
Speaker 3:No. Okay.
Speaker 7:Hell no.
Tim / GM:You hear this as something, like, jumps you from the darkness and begins tearing at your bones. But even though it's, like, clawing away bones from you, it's not even getting to your actual
John / Doran:skin.
Speaker 7:And as as they drop off, other bones come and take their place and yeah. Yuck.
Thomas / Guy:Oh, what do we got? What do we got?
Speaker 3:What is happening? It's a worm. It's a dirty man, it won't leave me alone. No. Stop.
Speaker 3:Stop.
Thomas / Guy:Or it's gonna scoot against the wall and pull out the kaleidoscope and try some lenses on there.
Tim / GM:Okay. Yeah. You flicker through all of your
Thomas / Guy:What are those red things called that had, like, the the circle
Hannah / Eryn:View finder. Finder. Yeah.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Okay. Yeah. You flipped through your view finder, and Mhmm. You're like, at one point, you're looking through the walls here.
Tim / GM:You can see that just on the other side is a normal castle hallway. It was just door number 3 that you should have gone through here.
Thomas / Guy:It's always door number 3.
Tim / GM:You can see that these paintings are saturated with haunted magic.
Thomas / Guy:Folks, I think we can get out through this last door.
Speaker 3:Okay. Well, let's go. Get out of me.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly zooms through the third It's
Tim / GM:not it's not a special door, but it is locked.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly runs into the door,
Speaker 7:smacks into the door.
Thomas / Guy:Oh, what is it locked? I'm gonna hit it with the gravity hammer.
Tim / GM:Okay. Nice. Yeah.
Thomas / Guy:Natural twenty. What?
Speaker 9:Wow. Wow.
Speaker 3:Okay. Save those for the bond.
Tim / GM:Bert, you blast through a lower panel of this door, and, it is it is wide open for you all to get down and crawl through 1 at a time.
Thomas / Guy:Oh, I was like, oh, oh, it worked.
Speaker 8:Is
Speaker 7:it open? And I'm still, like, batting at this fucking werewolf that's trying to eat my stomach.
Thomas / Guy:Yeah. It's open. Let's scram.
Tim / GM:Okay. Yeah. You guys pile out of that room 1 by 1. As you leave, when you look back into it, it looks fine. Like, the lights are normal.
Tim / GM:Everything's normal. Like, nothing bad had ever happened in there.
Speaker 7:I look I look down and inspect.
Tim / GM:Oh, that was real. You got scratches all over your bones.
Speaker 3:What the hell? Yeah. I never liked museums either. Uh-huh.
Tim / GM:Snack. Ilya has dived towards you with 2 curved blades. She seems to be able to turn into black vapor at will and move freely from shadow to shadow in this courtyard. She strikes down at you. That is a natural 12.
Tim / GM:Sorry. So that's an 18 hit.
John / Doran:Okay. Well, yeah. That hits. Yeah.
Tim / GM:Snack. That is 14 slashing damage.
Speaker 7:Chump change.
Tim / GM:She settles into another shadow some 30 feet from you and awaits your response.
John / Doran:For story reasons, can I do an insight check and not spend a whole action? Okay. That's amazing for snack. I got a 20 for an insight check.
Tim / GM:Okay.
John / Doran:What I'm trying to discern is I mean, I recognize Uli's sister, Illya, but I don't I can't get a read on, like, I don't think Snack knows the situation, so he doesn't know whose side Ilya's on. So he squints at her trying to discern if she's acting as well.
Tim / GM:Okay. I think Snack can gather that, a, Ilia intends to kill you. That's pretty clear at this point. B, you hear a lot of heavy distortion over her voice and all the white light that has been previously associated with Orzo and those effects. I think you know that you have to protect your life, but that you can't kill Illya or that Uli would be very upset with you.
John / Doran:That's fair.
Tim / GM:Yeah.
John / Doran:Illya, I do know Uli, and I feel like this is a quick way to get on her list of least favorite sibling. Sounds
Tim / GM:familiar. What'd you say, drooly?
John / Doran:That's a good one. I should use that. But I think we're fighting, so eldritch blast. Well, hex first. Okay.
John / Doran:Sorry.
Speaker 9:Yeah. Take that back.
John / Doran:So, yeah, I I will use hex on Ilia. K. So I'm gonna use Eldritch Blast
Thomas / Guy:now. Oh.
John / Doran:Yep. That's a that's my that's my cantrip, please. Yep.
Speaker 3:I don't want to kill her, but I will.
Speaker 7:Does necrotic damage have less of an effect on Orzo?
Tim / GM:I don't know.
John / Doran:Alright. Well, natural twenty.
Speaker 3:What? Please don't.
Speaker 9:I kid not.
John / Doran:I kill you not.
Tim / GM:Wow. I kill you not.
Thomas / Guy:You do though.
Tim / GM:You do though. That's
Thomas / Guy:what's accurate.
Speaker 3:That was
John / Doran:It's called We
Hannah / Eryn:have rolled more natural twenties.
John / Doran:Yeah. What? I gotta prove it. Roll again.
Speaker 9:Okay. No.
John / Doran:Thank you.
Thomas / Guy:Oh, I didn't get to roll to see if I, like, kill the door.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Oh. Just exploded.
John / Doran:Nope. Okay. Alright. 2nd attack. 16?
Tim / GM:16 hits Alya. Okay.
John / Doran:3rd attack. 12. Okay. So, 36 damage, and it is of the type force.
Tim / GM:Okay.
Speaker 3:Her body's just an NPC. Mhmm.
Speaker 7:Did you add hex to that?
Tim / GM:No. Oh, you didn't add the hex damage yet?
John / Doran:Sorry. So 9 more on top of that. So that's 45? 45. Yeah.
Speaker 7:But the hex damage is necrotic.
John / Doran:That is true.
Tim / GM:Okay. And that was just that bonus at the end?
John / Doran:Yep. Mhmm.
Tim / GM:The extra 9? Mhmm. Alright. You see those eldritch blasts impact her, and she looks ready for it, but the first one knocks her on her ass. And then as she's getting up, the second one kind of, like, stops her from doing so.
Tim / GM:And she's, like like, pretty much taking a knee, and then she stands back to her full height, and she says, correction. We're not fighting. She points at the statue.
John / Doran:I won't fall for this trick, but I'm curious, and I look.
Tim / GM:You see a pool of white light begin to form in the statue's face, and then she kind of, like, sweeps a hand behind her, and you see these 6 gargoyles on the peaks of the castle behind her begin to move. You've got a group of 7. She turns into a shadow and goes under the door. Okay.
Speaker 9:Hello, allies. Another complication. Well, a couple. Ulya's sister sucks, and, negotiations have come to an end, and we are now fighting. So unless you are quite busy with something more important than this, please come help Snack.
Thomas / Guy:We're inside inside the castle now, Snack. We're headed for the throne room. Can you
Speaker 9:get here? What? Do you want
Speaker 3:me to retreat? It's not really retreating. It's
Tim / GM:coming in.
Speaker 9:Oh, yes. Yes. Of course. Yes. I'll do that.
Speaker 8:Snack. Don't fight. Just run.
Speaker 9:Right. Yes.
Speaker 3:Are you saying you didn't stop her in any way? She's on her way?
Speaker 9:Well, I'm trying to kill her, but then she turned into some I don't know where she is. But You're
Speaker 3:trying to kill her?
John / Doran:What? Oh,
Speaker 9:hold on. There's gargoyles coming. Snack.
Speaker 7:Going through a tunnel.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Snack at that moment. You are just descended upon by 6 gargoyles that kind of, do a little dive bomb swooping attacks.
John / Doran:Great.
Tim / GM:Let's kinda do halves here. The first 3 that swoop you perform a 22 total to hit. Yep. 2nd group, is a 23 total to hit. Mhmm.
Tim / GM:Uh-oh.
Speaker 7:That's okay. You can stop.
John / Doran:I feel like he's doing a joke
Tim / GM:at this point.
Speaker 3:It's a little dicks.
Tim / GM:Right. It is 27 bludgeoning damage. As they all, 1 by 1, just come down and drag their stony claws across you. You hear a groaning of iron as the giant statue it's holding a spear in one hand and a large torch in the other that burns day and night. You hear this
John / Doran:as
Tim / GM:it turns down to look at you and turns the point of its spear to face you, and it makes a lunge. 25 to hit. Yeah. K. 32, piercing damage.
John / Doran:32.
Tim / GM:Yes. As it takes its giant polearm and just barely nicks you with it and then stabs again and gets a better hit on the second one. Mhmm. Nasty cuts.
John / Doran:I'm gonna have to make some hex saving throws here for concentration. Yep. First one's a 14, so
Tim / GM:Which I think totaled out to 24 or 28.
John / Doran:Somewhere around there. I I think that one's okay.
Tim / GM:Yes. Even if it was 28, you would have succeeded.
John / Doran:Yeah. Yep. So there's 3 hexed?
Tim / GM:1 was 34. Or sorry.
John / Doran:Okay. So 22 on this one.
Tim / GM:Yes. Because the damage was in the thirties. Yeah. Still hexed. Awesome.
Speaker 9:Yeah. Definitely coming to the throne room unless I die. Snack over and out.
Tim / GM:Snack. It is your turn out in this courtyard. What are you doing?
John / Doran:Almost dying is something that's happening. K. So I think now is a good time to not be farewell anymore. Okay.
Tim / GM:Yeah. That makes sense. I agree.
John / Doran:So bidet is safe for all He's
Tim / GM:in the air somewhere. Yeah.
John / Doran:So he's safe? Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely.
Speaker 9:Okay. Just like Excel.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Alright.
John / Doran:So I'm gonna jump off, the bridge, then transform into a dragon.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Okay.
Tim / GM:Yeah. The, iron golem kind of chases you to the edge of the bridge with its spear, and then when you jump off, it just kind of, like, thrusts after you and misses. And then you plummet a good 20 feet and then wings outstretched a storm of purple smoke as you transform.
John / Doran:Awesome. I'm gonna fly up a bit and then look for what seems to be the throne room Okay. If I can see it at all.
Tim / GM:Yeah. So you know according to those maps that you were looking at and scribbling on yesterday, that the throne room is the big rectangle at the very center back of this place. You're kind of doing a mental map of what that looks like here. We can see the crayon overlay of of your plans. You know exactly where to go.
John / Doran:Would you say it's less than a quarter mile away? Or
Tim / GM:I had a dream it would end like this. Yes. It's less than a quarter mile away.
John / Doran:Okay. I'm going to use a cool ability that I got right now. K. And it's called hot streak. So hot streak is, again, I teleport quarter mile and immediately cast fireball at the at 3rd level upon arrival.
Tim / GM:Okay. Sounds good. Yeah. Back inside the castle.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Go. Go. Go.
Tim / GM:You've gotten through this door and the kind of, horrific experience that you just had in that dark burning room is gone. It's quite quiet out here. A stark contrast to everything you've been through so far. It dawns on you, they don't know that you made it. No one here is alarmed yet.
Tim / GM:There seems to be some commotion near the front of this place, but that's it.
Hannah / Eryn:I think we did it, you guys.
Thomas / Guy:That must be snack out front. Let's try to be as sneaky as we can.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Bert, you come up to a hallway that sort of crosses paths with another. And as you are about to step through that open space, you realize that there's a group of vampire soldiers that are discussing their plans. If you were to move into that hallway, they would see all of you.
Thomas / Guy:Oop. Bert holds out his hands and speaks telepathically.
Tim / GM:Yeah.
Thomas / Guy:There's some vampires up here. Holly, you think you can give it another shot?
Hannah / Eryn:I'll try. I'm not a very good vampire yet.
Speaker 7:I'm gonna cast guidance on Holly.
John / Doran:Nice. Okay.
Hannah / Eryn:Thanks, Tibio.
John / Doran:Mhmm. Saves me a bless.
Speaker 7:Tibio puts his hand on her back and says, you can do it.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly is gonna I have to, like, say something to them, Tim, as far as, like
Tim / GM:You've gotta interact with them. You have to kind of prove your dominance.
Hannah / Eryn:Okay.
Speaker 8:Ollie. Yeah.
Hannah / Eryn:I don't think I should appear as Holly. Can you transform me real quick to something else? Anyone else? Sure. Not one of us.
Hannah / Eryn:Wait. I have a potion for that. Oh, okay. Do you?
Speaker 3:I do.
Thomas / Guy:She do. You do.
Hannah / Eryn:We're all speaking telepathically
Speaker 3:She do. But I'm
Hannah / Eryn:still whispering.
Speaker 7:Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Speaker 8:It lasts for 10 minutes, but you can have this.
Speaker 7:And I hand over a little vial with an opaque silver potion in it.
Tim / GM:K. This is one of Joe's masterwork potions.
Hannah / Eryn:Okay. Holly drinks it.
Tim / GM:Okay. Holly.
Speaker 3:You are now controlled by Joe. Oh, no.
Speaker 7:All of them were sneaky
Speaker 3:control options.
Thomas / Guy:You dumb shits.
Tim / GM:For the next 10 minutes, you can change your shape to anything you choose within one size category of your own. You can shift the form at will at any time during the effect.
Hannah / Eryn:Cool. Does that have to be someone I've seen, or can it just be anything?
Tim / GM:Anything you think of.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly will transform into a vampire that looks like the oldest vampire of all time.
Thomas / Guy:Yes.
Hannah / Eryn:An old lady crone vampire.
Thomas / Guy:Old man.
Hannah / Eryn:She's not a man. She's never become a man, so she's a woman.
Speaker 7:The Gary Old Woman.
Hannah / Eryn:Gary Old Woman. Basically, it's like a corpse.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Okay.
Hannah / Eryn:Like, so so old.
Tim / GM:Holly drinks this silvery potion, and you see a little bit of it kind of escape her mouth at the corner where it kinda drips onto her shirt and leaves this glittering silver spot. But a moment later, you see her skin turn silver, and she sort of shifts. And when it ends, she's a withered, dead, black skinned hag. Hannah, there exists a figure called the elder hag. Something of a witch, something of a necrotic force of will.
Tim / GM:This thing is revered in the world of the dead.
Hannah / Eryn:Awesome. Am I scary as fuck?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Hannah / Eryn:Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Okay.
Hannah / Eryn:And she still has the shroud, though. Everything else is transformed, but her shroud is still on covering, like, just, like, strings of wet black, like, hair, quote unquote, but it's, like, just a couple of strings left.
Thomas / Guy:Everything going according to plan, Holly?
Hannah / Eryn:Don't worry about me.
Thomas / Guy:Oh, good.
Speaker 3:You look horrifying.
Hannah / Eryn:Alright. Holly, steps out into the hallway where these vampire guards are Mhmm. And she slowly walks up to them. Mhmm. She holds out one hand slowly with an old broken crinkled finger that's all gnarled and says, put down your weapons.
Tim / GM:Okay. Give me a persuasion with advantage.
Speaker 7:Plus a d 4.
Tim / GM:Plus a d 4. She
Hannah / Eryn:19.
Tim / GM:Okay. Every last vampire in that hallway turns to look at you, and they just give a slow, solemn nod. As they begin to move towards you to take on your orders, you see that they were about to consume a little snack, a group of 4 civilians that were about to be fed on. They kind of look up at you with absolute horror in their face.
Hannah / Eryn:Holly Hague will say to the group of people, be gone.
Tim / GM:They just kind of, like, wince and kind of, like, cry and hold each other.
Hannah / Eryn:She wants them to get the fuck out. Is there a way for them to just leave down this hallway?
Tim / GM:You look behind you and you see more mobilization, more people moving around.
Speaker 7:Timbio speaks in Holly's mind and says,
Speaker 8:Holly, just commend the vampires to clear the way.
Hannah / Eryn:Yeah. Holly will tell the vampire guards to take the people to the courtyard with the rest of the prisoners.
Tim / GM:Yeah. They, nod at you, and, they kind of form a protective guard around these civilians and begin, escorting them to the front door. Looking forward, it is a straight shot, and you can even see the glint of the brass of the organ in the back room. The throne room is not far from you.
Hannah / Eryn:Awesome. Holly's gonna stand on her broom and have her head, closed draped over the broom to cover it. So it looks like she's just gliding, and she's just gonna slowly glide with all the cloaks fluttering behind her That's
Speaker 3:so gross.
Hannah / Eryn:Into the throne room.
Tim / GM:It seems that was their last line of defense. When you move into this cathedral, Holly, it is empty. Except for 1. Hi. It's me, your genie.
Tim / GM:Thanks for listening to people being other people. If you wanna help Master Snack and his servants, you could make my wish come true by following us on Instagram at pbop_podcast. That's pb0p_podcast.
Speaker 1:Thank you very much.