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Welcome to Myths, Magic, and Mayhem, a podcast dedicated to reading and introducing some of the greatest old fairy tales of all time. With our enchanting narration, we bring these classic myths and legends to life in a way that is both entertaining and captivating. Join us as we journey through ""The Blue Fairy Book"" by Andrew Lang, and explore some of the most beloved fairy tales of all time. Whether you're a fan of the genre or new to it, we guarantee you'll find something to love on Myths, Magic, and Mayhem.
We release new episodes every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
When it was the Twenty-eighth Night, She said, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that the young merchant continued as follows, Now when I testified, "I bear witness that there is no god save the God," I heard my mistress the handmaid declare to the Caliph, "These chests, O Commander of the Faithful, have been committed to my charge by the Lady Zubaydah, and she doth not wish their contents to be seen by any one." "No matter!" quoth the Caliph, "needs must they be opened, I will see what is in them", and he cried aloud to the eunuchs, "Bring the chests here before me." At this I made sure of death (without benefit of a doubt) and swooned away. Then the eunuchs brought the chests up to him one after another and he fell to inspecting the contents, but he saw in them only ottars and stuffs and fine dresses, and they ceased not opening the chests and he ceased not looking to see what was in them, finding only clothes and such matters, till none remained unopened but the box in which I was boxed. They put forth their hands to open it, but my mistress the handmaid made haste and said to the Caliph, "This one thou shalt see only in the presence of the Lady Zubaydah, for that which is in it is her secret." When he heard this he gave orders to carry in the chests, so they took up that wherein I was and bore it with the rest into the Harim and set it down in the midst of the saloon, and indeed my spittle was dried up for very fear. Then my mistress opened the box and took me out, saying, "Fear not, no harm shall betide thee now nor dread, but broaden thy breast and strengthen thy heart and sit thee down till the Lady Zubaydah come, and surely thou shalt win thy wish of me." So I sat down and, after a while, in came ten hand maidens, virgins like moons, and ranged themselves in two rows, five facing five, and after them twenty other damsels, high bosomed virginity, surrounding the Lady Zubaydah who could hardly walk for the weight of her raiment and ornaments. As she drew near, the slave girls dispersed from around her, and I advanced and kissed the ground between her hands. She signed to me to sit and, when I sat down before her chair, she began questioning me of my forbears and family and condition, to which I made such answers that pleased her, and she said to my mistress, "Our nurturing of thee, O damsel, hath not disappointed us." Then she said to me, "Know that this handmaiden is to us even as our own child and she is a trust committed to thee by Allah." I again kissed the ground before her, well pleased that I should marry my mistress, and she bade me abide ten days in the palace. So I abode there ten days, during which time I saw not my mistress nor anybody save one of the concubines, who brought me the morning and evening meals. After this the Lady Zubaydah took counsel with the Caliph on the marriage of her favourite handmaid, and he gave leave and assigned to her a wedding portion of ten thousand gold pieces. So the Lady Zubaydah sent for the Kazi and witnesses who wrote our marriage contract, after which the women made ready sweetmeats and rich viands and distributed them among all the Odahs of the Harim. Thus they did other ten days, at the end of which time my mistress went to the baths. Meanwhile, they set before me a tray of food where on were various meats and among those dishes, which were enough to daze the wits, was a bowl of cumin ragout containing chickens breasts, fricandoed and flavoured with sugar, pistachios, musk and rose water. Then, by Allah, fair sirs, I did not long hesitate, but took my seat before the ragout and fell to and ate of it till I could no more. After this I wiped my hands, but forgot to wash them, and sat till it grew dark, when the wax candles were lighted and the singing women came in with their tambourines and proceeded to display the bride in various dresses and to carry her in procession from room to room all round the palace, getting their palms crossed with gold. Then they brought her to me and disrobed her. When I found myself alone with her on the bed I embraced her, hardly believing in our union, but she smelt the strong odours of the ragout upon my hands and forth with cried out with an exceeding loud cry, at which the slave girls came running to her from all sides. I trembled with alarm, unknowing what was the matter, and the girls asked her, "What aileth thee, O our sister?" She answered them, "Take this mad man away from me, I had thought he was a man of sense!" Quoth I to her, "What makes thee think me mad?" Quoth she, "Thou madman' what made thee eat of cumin ragout and forget to wash thy hand? By Allah, I will requite thee for thy misconduct. Shall the like of thee come to bed with the like of me with unclean hands?" Then she took from her side a plaited scourge and came down with it on my back and the place where I sit till her forearms were benumbed and I fainted away from the much beating, when she said to the handmaids, "Take him and carry him to the Chief of Police, that he may strike off the hand wherewith he ate of the cumin ragout, and which he did not wash." When I heard this I said, "There is no Majesty and there is no Might save in Allah! Wilt thou cut off my hand, because I ate of a cumin ragout and did not wash?" The handmaidens also interceded with her and kissed her hand saying, "O our sister, this man is a simpleton, punish him not for what he hath done this nonce, " but she answered, "By Allah, there is no help but that I dock him of somewhat, especially the offending member." Then she went away and I saw no more of her for ten days, during which time she sent me meat and drink by a slave girl who told me that she had fallen sick from the smell of the cumin ragout. After that time she came to me and said, "O black of face! I will teach thee how to eat cumin ragout without washing thy hands!" Then she cried out to the handmaids, who pinioned me, and she took a sharp razor and cut off my thumbs and great toes, even as you see, O fair assembly! Thereupon I swooned away, and she sprinkled some powder of healing herbs upon the stumps and when the blood was staunched, I said, "Never again will I eat of cumin ragout without washing my hands forty times with potash and forty times with galangale and forty times with soap!" And she took of me an oath and bound me by a covenant to that effect. When, therefore, you brought me the cumin ragout my colour changed and I said to myself, "It was this very dish that caused the cutting off of my thumbs and great toes, " and, when you forced me, I said, "Needs must I fulfil the oath I have sworn." "And what befell thee after this?" asked those present, and he answered, "When I swore to her, her anger was appeased and I slept with her that night. We abode thus awhile till she said to me one day, "Verily the Palace of the Caliph is not a pleasant place for us to live in, and none ever entered it save thyself, and thou only by grace of the Lady Zubaydah. Now she hath given me fifty thousand dinars," adding, "Take this money and go out and buy us a fair dwelling house." So I fared forth and bought a fine and spacious mansion, whither she removed all the wealth she owned and what riches I had gained in stuffs and costly rarities. Such is the cause of the cutting off of my thumbs and great toes. We ate (continued the Reeve), and were returning to our homes when there befell me with the Hunchback that thou wottest of. This then is my story, and peace be with thee! Quoth the King, "This story is on no wise more delectable than the story of the Hunchback, nay, it is even less so, and there is no help for the hanging of the whole of you." Then came forward the Jewish physician and kissing the ground said, "O King of the age, I will tell thee an history more wonderful than that of the Hunchback." "Tell on," said the King of China, so he began the Tale of the Jewish Doctor.
Right marvellous was a matter which came to pass to me in my youth. I lived in Damascus of Syria studying my art and, one day, as I was sitting at home behold, there came to me a Mameluke from the household of the Sahib and said to me, "Speak with my lord!" So I followed him to the Viceroy's house and, entering the great hall, saw at its head a couch of cedar plated with gold whereon lay a sickly youth beautiful withal, fairer than he one could not see. I sat down by his head and prayed to Heaven for a cure, and he made me a sign with his eyes, so I said to him, "O my lord! favour me with thy hand, and safety be with thee!" Then he put forth his left hand and I marvelled thereat and said, "By Allah, strange that this handsome youth, the son of a great house, should so lack good manners. This can be nothing but pride and conceit!" However I felt his pulse and wrote him a prescription and continued to visit him for ten days, at the end of which time he recovered and went to the Hammam, whereupon the Viceroy gave me a handsome dress of honour and appointed me superintendent of the hospital which is in Damascus. I accompanied him to the baths, the whole of which they had kept private for his accommodation, and the servants came in with him and took off his clothes within the bath, and when he was stripped I saw that his right hand had been newly cut off, and this was the cause of his weakliness. At this I was amazed and grieved for him, then, looking at his body, I saw on it the scars of scourge stripes whereto he had applied unguents. I was troubled at the sight and my concern appeared in my face. The young man looked at me and, comprehending the matter, said, "O Physician of the age, marvel not at my case, I will tell thee my story as soon as we quit the baths." Then we washed and, returning to his house, ate somewhat of food and took rest awhile, after which he asked me, "What sayest thou to solacing thee by inspecting the supper hall?", and I answered "So let it be." Thereupon he ordered the slaves to carry out the carpets and cushions required and roast a lamb and bring us some fruit. They did his bidding and we ate together, he using the left hand for the purpose. After a while I said to him, "Now tell me thy tale." "O Physician of the age," replied he, "hear what befell me. Know that I am of the sons of Mosul, where my grandfather died leaving nine children of whom my father was the eldest. All grew up and took to them wives, but none of them was blessed with offspring except my father, to whom Providence vouchsafed me. So I grew up amongst my uncles who rejoiced in me with exceeding joy, till I came to man's estate. One day which happened to be a Friday, I went to the Cathedral mosque of Mosul with my father and my uncles, and we prayed the congregational prayers, after which the folk went forth, except my father and uncles, who sat talking of wondrous things in foreign parts and the marvellous sights of strange cities. At last they mentioned Egypt, and one of my uncles said, "Travellers tell us that there is not on earth's face aught fairer than Cairo and her Nile, " and these words made me long to see Cairo. Quoth my father, "Whoso hath not seen Cairo hath not seen the world. Her dust is golden and her Nile a miracle holden, and her women are as Houris fair, puppets, beautiful pictures, her houses are palaces rare, her water is sweet and light and her mud a commodity and a medicine beyond compare, even as said the poet in this his poetry, The Nile flood this day is the gain you own, You alone in such gain and bounties wone, The Nile is my tear flood of severance, And here none is forlorn but I alone.
Moreover temperate is her air, and with fragrance blent, Which surpasseth aloes wood in scent, and how should it be otherwise, she being the Mother of the World? And Allah favour him who wrote these lines, An I quit Cairo and her pleasaunces, Where can I wend to find so gladsome ways? Shall I desert that site, whose grateful scents, Joy every soul and call for loudest praise? Where every palace, as another Eden, Carpets and cushions richly wrought displays, A city wooing sight and sprite to glee, Where Saint meets Sinner and each 'joys his craze, Where friend meets friend, by Providence united, In greeny garden and in palmy maze, People of Cairo, and by Allah's doom, I fare, with you in thoughts I wone always! Whisper not Cairo in the ear of Zephyr, Lest for her like of garden scents he reave her.
And if your eyes saw her earth, and the adornment thereof with bloom, and the purfling of it with all manner blossoms, and the islands of the Nile and how much is therein of wide spread and goodly prospect, and if you bent your sight upon the Abyssinian Pond, your glance would not revert from the scene quit of wonder, for nowhere would you behold the fellow of that lovely view, and, indeed, the two arms of the Nile embrace most luxuriant verdure, as the white of the eye encompasseth its black or like filagree'd silver surrounding chrysolites. And divinely gifted was the poet who there anent said these couplets, By th' Abyssinian Pond, O day divine!, In morning twilight and in sunny shine, The water prisoned in its verdurous walls, Like sabre flashes before shrinking eyne, And in The Garden sat we while it drains, Slow draught, with purfled sides dyed finest fine, The stream is rippled by the hands of clouds, We too, a-rippling, on our rugs recline, Passing pure wine, and whoso leaves us there, Shall ne'er arise from fall his woes design, Draining long draughts from large and brimming bowls, Administ'ring thirst's only medicine—wine.
And what is there to compare with the Rasad, the Observatory, and its charms whereof every viewer as he approacheth saith, 'Verily this spot is specialised with all manner of excellence!' And if thou speak of the Night of Nile full, give the rainbow and distribute it! And if thou behold The Garden at eventide, with the cool shades sloping far and wide, a marvel thou wouldst see and wouldst incline to Egypt in ecstasy. And wert thou by Cairo's river side, when the sun is sinking and the stream dons mail coat and habergeon over its other vestments, thou wouldst be quickened to new life by its gentle zephyrs and by its all sufficient shade." So spake he and the rest fell to describing Egypt and her Nile. As I heard their accounts, my thoughts dwelt upon the subject and when, after talking their fill, all arose and went their ways, I lay down to sleep that night, but sleep came not because of my violent longing for Egypt, and neither meat pleased me nor drink. After a few days my uncles equipped themselves for a trade journey to Egypt, and I wept before my father till he made ready for me fitting merchandise, and he consented to my going with them, saying however, "Let him not enter Cairo, but leave him to sell his wares at Damascus." So I took leave of my father and we fared forth from Mosul and gave not over travelling till we reached Aleppo where we halted certain days. Then we marched onwards till we made Damascus and we found her a city as though she were a Paradise, abounding in trees and streams and birds and fruits of all kinds. We alighted at one of the Khans, where my uncles tarried awhile selling and buying, and they bought and sold also on my account, each dirham turning a profit of five on prime cost, which pleased me mightily. After this they left me alone and set their faces Egyptwards, whilst I abode at Damascus, where I had hired from a jeweller, for two dinars a month, a mansion whose beauties would beggar the tongue. Here I remained, eating and drinking and spending what monies I had in hand till, one day, as I was sitting at the door of my house be hold, there came up a young lady clad in costliest raiment never saw my eyes richer. I winked[fn#5886 at her and she stepped inside without hesitation and stood within. I entered with her and shut the door upon myself and her, whereupon she raised her face veil and threw off her mantilla, when I found her like a pictured moon of rare and marvellous loveliness, and love of her gat hold of my heart. So I rose and brought a tray of the most delicate eatables and fruits and whatso befitted the occasion, and we ate and played and after that we drank till the wine turned our heads. Then I lay with her the sweetest of nights and in the morning I offered her ten gold pieces, when her face lowered and her eye brows wrinkled and shaking with wrath she cried, "Fie upon thee, O my sweet companion! dost thou deem that I covet thy money?" Then she took out from the bosom of her shift fifteen dinars and, laying them before me, said, "By Allah! unless thou take them I will never come back to thee." So I accepted them and she said to me, "O my beloved! expect me again in three days' time, when I will be with thee between sunset and supper tide, and do thou prepare for us with these dinars the same entertainment as yesternight." So saying, she took leave of me and went away and all my senses went with her. On the third day she came again, clad in stuff weft with gold wire, and wearing raiment and ornaments finer than before. I had prepared the place for her ere she arrived and the repast was ready, so we ate and drank and lay together, as we had done, till the morning, when she gave me other fifteen gold pieces and promised to come again after three days. Accordingly, I made ready for her and, at the appointed time, she presented herself more richly dressed than on the first and second occasions, and said to me, "O my lord, am I not beautiful?" "Yea, by Allah thou art!" answered I, and she went on, "Wilt thou allow me to bring with me a young lady fairer than I, and younger in years, that she may play with us and thou and she may laugh and make merry and rejoice her heart, for she hath been very sad this long time past, and hath asked me to take her out and let her spend the night abroad with me?" "Yea, by Allah!" I replied, and we drank till the wine turned our heads and slept till the morning, when she gave me other fifteen dinars, saying, "Add something to thy usual provision on account of the young lady who will come with me." Then she went away, and on the fourth day I made ready the house as usual, and soon after sunset behold, she came, accompanied by another damsel carefully wrapped in her mantilla. They entered and sat down, and when I saw them I repeated these verses, "How dear is our day and how lucky our lot, When the cynic's away with his tongue malign! When love and delight and the swimming of head, Send cleverness trotting, the best boon of wine. When the full moon shines from the cloudy veil, And the branchlet sways in her greens that shine, When the red rose mantles in freshest cheek, And Narcissus opeth his love sick eyne, When pleasure with those I love is so sweet, When friendship with those I love is complete!"
I rejoiced to see them, and lighted the candles after receiving them with gladness and delight. They doffed their heavy outer dresses and the new damsel uncovered her face when I saw that she was like the moon at its full never beheld I aught more beautiful. Then I rose and set meat and drink before them, and we ate and drank, and I kept giving mouthfuls to the new comer, crowning her cup and drinking with her till the first damsel, waxing inwardly jealous, asked me, "By Allah, is she not more delicious than I?", whereto I answered, "Ay, by the Lord!" "It is my wish that thou lie with her this night, for I am thy mistress but she is our visitor. Upon my head be it, and my eyes." Then she rose and spread the carpets for our bed and I took the young lady and lay with her that night till morning, when I awoke and found myself wet, as I thought, with sweat. I sat up and tried to arouse the damsel, but when I shook her by the shoulders my hand became crimson with blood and her head rolled off the pillow. Thereupon my senses fled and I cried aloud, saying, "O All powerful Protector, grant me Thy protection!" Then finding her neck had been severed, I sprung up and the world waxed black before my eyes, and I looked for the lady, my former love, but could not find her. So I knew that it was she who had murdered the damsel in her jealousy, and said, "There is no Majesty and there is no Might save in Allah, the Glorious, the Great! What is to be done now?" I considered awhile then, doffing my clothes, dug a hole in the middle of the court yard, wherein I laid the murdered girl with her jewellery and golden ornaments, and, throwing back the earth on her, replaced the slabs of the marble pavement. After this I made the Ghusl or total ablution, and put on pure clothes, then, taking what money I had left, locked up the house and summoned courage and went to its owner to whom I paid a year's rent, saying, "I am about to join my uncles in Cairo." Presently I set out and, journeying to Egypt, foregathered with my uncles who rejoiced in me, and I found that they had made an end of selling their merchandise. They asked me, "What is the cause of thy coming?", and I answered "I longed for a sight of you, " but did not let them know that I had any money with me. I abode with them a year, enjoying the pleasures of Cairo and her Nile, and squandering the rest of my money in feasting and carousing till the time drew near for the departure of my uncles, when I fled from them and hid myself. They made enquiries and sought for me, but hearing no tidings they said, "He will have gone back to Damascus." When they departed I came forth from my hiding place and abode in Cairo three years, until naught remained of my money. Now every year I used to send the rent of the Damascus house to its owner, until at last I had nothing left but enough to pay him for one year's rent and my breast was straitened. So I travelled to Damascus and alighted at the house whose owner, the jeweller, was glad to see me and I found everything locked up as I had left it. I opened the closets and took out my clothes and necessaries and came upon, beneath the carpet bed whereon I had lain that night with the girl who had been beheaded, a golden necklace set with ten gems of passing beauty. I took it up and, cleansing it of the blood, sat gazing upon it and wept awhile. Then I abode in the house two days and on the third I entered the Hammam and changed my clothes. I had no money by me now, so Satan whispered temptation to me that the Decree of Destiny be carried out. Next day I took the jewelled necklace to the bazar and handed it to a broker who made me sit down in the shop of the jeweller, my landlord, and bade me have patience till the market was full, when he carried off the ornament and proclaimed it for sale, privily and without my knowledge. The necklet was priced as worth two thousand dinars, but the broker returned to me and said, "This collar is of copper, a mere counterfeit after the fashion of the Franks and a thousand dirhams have been bidden for it." "Yes," I answered, "I knew it to be copper, as we had it made for a certain person that we might mock her, now my wife hath inherited it and we wish to sell it, so go and take over the thousand dirhams."
And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and ceased to say her permitted say.