Trina Haynes: Surviving ADHD Burnout

This is episode two, and today I'm talking with Trina Haynes. Trina is an ADHD advocate and owner of the My Lady ADHD platform, which helps to educate and empower newly diagnosed ADHDers. We talk about how to recognize and avoid ADHD burnout, how the ADHD Community is like a family, as well as some of the overlap in symptoms between ADHD and Multiple Sclerosis.

Show Notes

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Episode 002

adhdnerds.com

Guest:

Trina Haynes
instagram.com/myladyadhd
myladyadhd.com

Sponsor:

Llama Life
(use JESSELLAMA20 code for 20% discount)

Links and show notes:

Julie Teffeteller
I Am ADHD, ADHD Is Me: How Your Mental Disorder Becomes Your Personality
Multi-Pens
Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski, Ph.D. and Amelia Nagoski, D.M.A.
Hell Yeah or No by Derek Sivers
Stop Asking Questions by Andrew Warner

Creators and Guests

Host

Jesse J. Anderson

ADHD Jesse

What is ADHD Nerds?

ADHD Nerds is the podcast for Adults with ADHD to learn more about their unique brain through the stories of others. Learn tips and strategies for managing or hacking your ADHD brain and have some fun along the way.

ADHD Nerds is hosted by Jesse J. Anderson, an ADHD Creative with a passion for writing, teaching, and raising awareness about ADHD. In 2017, he was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 36, and has made it his mission to help others better understand what ADHD really is.

This podcast is a great place to learn more about Adult ADHD, whether you're officially diagnosed, self-diagnosed, stuck on a waiting list, or just want to know more about how your loved one's brain works.

Trina Haynes: I think I've
been in the burnout cycle

continuously my whole entire life.

And I've, I've seen little pieces
of like peace and calm, which is the

in-between burnout, but it's very small.

It's very short and I'm
right back in burnout again.

Jesse: Hey, my name is Jesse J.

Anderson host of the ADHD Nerds podcast.

The show where we talk about living with
ADHD and have some fun along the way.

This is episode two.

And today I'm talking with Trina Haynes.

Trina is an ADHD advocate and
owner of the My Lady ADHD platform,

which helps to educate and
empower newly diagnosed ADHDers.

Having received an ADHD diagnosis later
in life, Trina offers humorous and down

to earth content that often helps others
recognize their own ADHD symptoms.

Today, we're going to be talking about how
to recognize and avoid ADHD burnout, as

well as some of the overlap in symptoms
between ADHD and Multiple Sclerosis.

But first I'd like to thank
our sponsor Thunk Notes, the

modern daily thinking tool.

This is one of my favorite
new writing tools.

I use it for journaling in the
morning and planning out my day.

It's got a beautiful interface and
a lot of powerful features like

bi-directional linking, templates,
daily notes, and a gorgeous graph view.

I think you'll really enjoy it and
you can try it for free by going to

adhdnerds.com/thunk that's T H U N K.

And if you sign up, you'll get a
20% discount for your first year.

I think you're going to love
this tool, so check it out.

Now let's get to the show.

All right, Trina.

Thank you so much for being here today.

It's great to have you on the podcast.

I thought we would start just by asking,
what's your history like with ADHD?

When did you first find out that
you had it or, you know, get that

inkling that you might have it?

What does that origin
story look like for you?

Trina Haynes: Well, first of
all, thank you for having me on.

I'm really happy to be here.

Um, my origin story is
I'm pretty new to ADHD.

So I was diagnosed last year.

So 2021, I'm a baby with ADHD.

Um, but that being said, I have kind of
a long history with it as like my sister

has been telling me for years that I
had ADHD and I just kind of ignored it.

But it kinda came about
when I moved last year.

I moved about eight hours away,
um, and I started a new job.

And I was really struggling at my job.

So, a job that I was kind of perfect.

It like checked all the boxes for me.

It was the right pay, the right
career, the right flexibility.

It like, all the boxes were checked, but
I was like majorly, struggling at work.

Jesse: Right.

Trina Haynes: So I ended up going
to therapy to like deal with

this because I was having panic
attacks, which were kind of new.

I have anxiety, it turns out.

And my therapist, I was really
lucky, my therapist has ADHD.

So she recognized it in me immediately.

And referred me out.

so that's kind of how I
got started with ADHD.

There's a little bit
more that goes into that.

My sister that kept saying I had ADHD.

She also has, MS.

So she has multiple sclerosis.

So I thought I had MS.

Like that's how, that's how my
brain was messing with me so much.

Like I had so many concerns about
like how things were functioning

that I thought I don't have
ADHD, I have multiple sclerosis.

So I actually went and got a brain
scan, right before therapy started.

And my, neuro, what are
they call the neurologist?

Who did my MRI said, um, you don't have
MS, but have you ever thought about ADHD?

Jesse: Really?

That's so interesting.

Trina Haynes: Yeah.

Jesse: I've never heard of that happening
from a brain scan going that way.

Yeah.

That's really interesting.

Trina Haynes: Yeah.

I mean, he didn't like see anything.

I don't that like brought that up.

But I think just my symptoms,
he was like, oh, this sounds a

little bit more like, uh, ADHD.

So, um, it was kind of the combination
of like going in to get tested

for MS and finding out that I
didn't have it and then going to

therapy and my therapist has ADHD.

And then all the pieces
started coming together.

There was also Instagram reels that
I was like really mad connecting to.

So it was like all of this, all of that
happened in the same month, basically.

And so light bulb moment,
um, when I got diagnosed.

So yeah, that's pretty much,
that's pretty much how.

Jesse: That's interesting.

So your sister had been
suggesting it, does she have ADHD.

Trina Haynes: She does.

So she's in that terrible, like
trifecta of having MS and ADHD.

So what I was seeing from her
and relating to was not MS.

It was ADHD.

so the pieces make sense.

Now.

I just thought there's no way I have ADHD.

I thought that ADHD was for little boys.

When in school, like this isn't
something that adult women have.

And so I clearly have MS.

Like, it can't be ADHD.

It has to be, you know,
something different in my brain.

So I was on the right path,
like is going on in there.

Um, but I did miss the
mark for quite awhile.

Jesse: Right right, Once you, once you
got your diagnosis, did any particular

stories, like looking back really jump out
as obvious kind of ADHD moments for you?

Trina Haynes: So many.

Yeah.

mostly school.

I really struggled in, um, middle
and high school and college.

Like I, I did not graduate college.

I barely graduated high school.

Um, just the job hopping.

I have been like a serial
job hopper forever.

Um, just never satisfied at work and
really struggling to get work done.

And those, those two things were
probably my biggest ones, but also

like I lose my keys and I put a pan of
bacon in the oven and leave the house.

Like I, like that's
why I thought I had MS.

I thought those were
like MS related symptoms.

So I thought like, oh,
I'm clumsy because of MS.

Like, I was pretty
convinced that I had MS.

So I was a little shocked
when they said, no, I'm like,

well, what, what could it be?

So, very interesting, very
interesting turn of events.

Jesse: Yeah, that's funny.

You say the, uh, job hopping I've I think
I've had, I was trying to count recently.

I think I've had over 30 jobs, which
is pretty wild, and I think that's

super common with people with ADHD,
we kind of jump around trying to, you

know, we're trying to find that thing
that seems to fit because we know

something's not fitting and we kind of
jump into a job that we're excited about.

Like you were saying, your new job.

You thought it was a really good fit
and you thought it was gonna work.

And then for some reason, those
symptoms kind of crop up and then we get

bored or we get restless or something
really just sort of like thwarts

our efforts to make that job work.

Then we jumped to another job and like,
maybe this is going to be the solution.

Trina Haynes: That's been the biggest
part of my life is like trying to

figure out the job thing and like,
why am I not satisfied anywhere?

Why am I struggling in this?

And it came to a head last year when I
found myself in the perfect role for me.

And I thought, okay, this is the role
you've been looking for your whole life.

This is like the perfect role.

What is, why are you still like this?

Like, what is the problem?

Why are you still struggling?

So, um, I was having a
lot of negative self-talk.

Like beating myself up, like, why
can't you just make this job work?

Like, what is wrong with you?

Like really negative towards
myself, which which led to the

anxiety and the panic attacks.

Let me fast track to now.

Um, my therapist kind of walked me
through, like I actually left that job.

Um, it was not, it was not as good
as I thought it was like, was kind

of toxic for me and it was, it
wasn't a good place for me to be.

So yeah, things have changed a
lot since I got diagnosed and

now I have my ADHD community,
which is like a big deal for me.

So I'm, re-evaluating everything the time.

Jesse: Right.

Yeah.

So let's talk about that.

You, since getting diagnosed,
you really have jumped in, yeah.

Like community and online
advocation, you know.

I've, I've found you from your
Instagram and you do lots of like

fun reels and all that sort of stuff.

What led you in that direction?

Trina Haynes: Yeah, it's really weird.

Um, I had a friend.

Her name is Julie Teffeteller.

And I have no idea how to spell her last
name, but she does relationship coaching

on Instagram and she has a really good
following and we kind of grew up together.

And I thought, you know, if she's doing
really well at this, like I wonder if

there's an ADHD community out there.

Like I had no idea there was a community.

So I was like, oh, I looked and I found
a couple, but there weren't a ton.

And I want to say you were
one of the first that I found.

There wasn't like a lot.

And so I thought, well, I could do this.

I could probably start reels.

I'm pretty funny.

I feel like which most
ADHD people do think.

Jesse: That is true, but we,
most ADHD people are funny.

I think that adds up.

Trina Haynes: We are.

I think we're quick witted and
we're very creative and funny.

So, um, it's a natural fit for me.

I've started many an Instagram
page, many a website.

Um, uh, in my lifetime
just chasing that career.

But this was kind of different for
me as far as like, this was for me

to start this, wasn't like, oh, I'm
going to make a career out of this.

This was like, I need a
community to relate to.

Because I'm struggling to
relate to anyone at all.

And then just people came out of the
woodworks, apparently there's a lot of us.

Jesse: Right.

Yeah, it's funny.

I kind of feel similar.

I started sharing my own content
about ADHD about a year ago, and just

sort of talking on like what I've
learned and what my experience is.

And I think the key word that
you mentioned there, like

community is really what it feels.

you know, there's content creators
that talk about their audience

and it never really feels like
an audience to me in ADHD.

Like it really feels.

Trina Haynes: Like a family.

Jesse: Yeah, yeah.

It's, there's such family
community aspect to it.

Trina Haynes: I had, I had the craziest,
like epiphany last night last night I was

talking to my husband about this and I
was like, the ADHD community is not like

the weightlifting community on Instagram.

It's not the makeup, it's not the jewelry.

It's like we need each other, like
we like we actually need each other

to validate what has been happening.

And so like, everyone in this community
is so grateful for each other.

So it's like a different level of
social media that I don't know if

I've seen before, where people are
like, thank you for being here.

I need this content.

Like this means a lot to me.

My boyfriend's going to follow
you so that he understands me.

My husband's going to follow you so
that he understands, he like, it's

creating more of like a understanding
of yourself through other people.

And it's very unique.

I don't know of another community
online that that is like this.

Jesse: Yeah, for sure.

I hear the same thing from people
that say I'm following you so I can

better understand my husband or wife
or child or something like that.

And yeah, there's just so many,
I think when you have ADHD,

especially if you're diagnosed late.

You've gone through so much of your
life feeling alone and not knowing why.

Like you just, a lot of people will say
like, oh, you know, think of it like, I

have weird quirks with my brain or like
for me, I thought they were family quirks.

I was like, well, my dad's like this.

And my brother's like this, no one
else I know is like this, but it

must just be weird family quirks.

And come to find out.

It's like, oh my entire family,
my mother, my father, brother,

and sister, we all have ADHD.

And so that's why we have
all these family quirks.

They're actually ADHD symptoms.

But because of that, like,
I think so many people.

That have ADHD grow up and they just
feel alone and they feel weird and

different and they can't explain
why they're like, I know my brain is

different than other people, but I don't
like it doesn't really make sense why.

And now that, for all the good and
bad or whatever, with social media,

like it's allowing people with
ADHD to discover each other and

find out like, hey, I'm not weird.

There's a lot of people
struggling the same way I am.

And it's not just like you, it's
not the moral failing that so

many people around me said when I
was growing up, because there was

behavior that I couldn't explain.

And no one else could explain either other
than saying that, being lazy or selfish

or, you know, stubborn or whatever it was.

And yeah, think the online community
has really helped us to discover

like, hey, there's, there's more
going on here and I can be accepted

with these other people that get me.

That really like, a lot of the jokes
that, you know, people will post with

ADHD that, you know, from within the
community, it's like people, neurotypical

people on the outside kind of like,
don't really get it a lot of the time.

I'm like, I'll say something, you know,
I talk with my wife and she's non ADHD

and she's had a fun lesson of figuring
that out because I, at least one of our

kids has ADHD and we she's diagnosed.

And our other two, we
suspect also have ADHD.

So she's kind of having to figure out
this whole wild world of ADHD that she

didn't necessarily know that she was
signing up for when we got married.

Um, but, and she's been
great at figuring that out.

Trina Haynes: Aw, poor woman.

Jesse: Right.

But yeah, so the point is like, sometimes
I'll say something to her, like, oh,

I'm going to post this thing about
this kind of common thing with ADHD.

And she's like, is that a thing
that does not make any sense to me?

And I'll be like, oh, I don't know.

I'll find out.

And sure enough.

Trina Haynes: I do the same.

Jesse: People will say oh on
like, oh, this so me or you're

calling me out or whatever.

Yeah.

Trina Haynes: Yeah.

Sometimes I'll post one and I'm like,
you know, I don't know if this is a me

thing or an everybody thing, but I think
it is, and I'll wait and sure enough,

it's like, everyone's like, this is me.

And you're like, it's validating me.

Like, I, get more out of the
Instagram page than they do.

And I tried to explain, like,
people will say, thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

And I'm like, no.

Thank you.

Like you just validated
the craziness in my head.

Like I, this, these aren't character
flaws, is it's a quirk, I guess, but

it's like, we're all feeling these things.

So it is validating for me.

So that's why I started the page.

That's why I continue to do the page
it's it's a selfish, selfish reason is

because I get a lot out of it personally.

Um.

Jesse: Yeah.

Same way.

Trina Haynes: And the dopamine.

I mean, it helps a little
bit, like I get both.

Jesse: Yeah.

I feel the same way.

Like getting that validation a
lot of the time, the stuff I post,

I'm just like, I don't know if
this is just a weird me thing.

And it's like, oh nope,
that's another ADHD thing.

Cause everyone's kind of jumping on
board and yeah, getting the dopamine

definitely is a driver to keep doing that.

Another thing I'd love
to talk to you about.

Trina Haynes: I'm, not going to lie.

I'm not gonna lie.

I have posted stuff where I'm
like, this is probably everyone

and then no one likes it.

Jesse: Right.

Trina Haynes: Okay.

Okay.

All right.

That was just me.

I'm going to delete that.

Jesse: Yeah.

There's a little bit of
that, uh, finding that line.

I think I, when I was diagnosed
with ADHD, I went through a little

bit of like personality crisis.

What is me and what is the ADHD?

And I, I wrote an article about
that, like I am ADHD because I feel

so much of it it's just who I am.

But yeah, there is, there is those
moments of discovering like, oh, okay.

That one thing that is
just, a weird me thing,

Which great find that out because I'm
like, okay, that can be a weird me thing.

And that's cool because then it shows
I'm more than just ADHD, despite how

important ADHD is to how my brain works.

Trina Haynes: Right.

Jesse: Yeah.

Trina Haynes: Right.

And I do think I'm like
clumsier than the average ADHD

person, have that going for me.

And like, there's certain things
that like, I do a little extra

than the normal ADHD person.

So it is nice to like, own
something, that's your quirk.

That's not related to the ADHD world.

So, you know, we are all still
individuals, even though we have ADHD,

Which is important to remember.

Jesse: Right.

Yeah, for sure.

Uh, so I want to ask you about, you've
been posting content recently about ADHD

burnout, and I think this is a really
important topic for people with ADHD.

I know I kind of experienced, I recently
was talking about how I, I feel like a

lot of the time, my process for, I don't
know, managing projects or whatever

is, I feel like I'm juggling chainsaws.

And when it feels like everything's
about to come crashing down, my

solution is to like add more chainsaws.

Like it's like, oh no.

Trina Haynes: Wow.

Jesse: This like I'm like reaching
the end or I'm starting to get

bored of this or something.

And so I got to make it more exciting.

And then I just start adding
more chainsaws of the show

and then it's just like chaos.

Um, yeah.

So I'd love to hear, uh, what
you think about ADHD burnout and

what that's been like for you?

Trina Haynes: We are the same.

We're same Um, well, that's funny.

I had therapy this morning and
we discussed this very thing

because I'm reaching the end
of a burnout cycle right now.

And so I'm trying to like prevent
myself from getting back in one, which

whole nother beast, but I'll tell you
a little rundown about ADHD burnout.

I had no idea what this was.

I had never heard of ADHD burnout
until like two months ago.

And of course somebody mentioned it,
maybe you, someone online mentioned it.

And I was like, what is this?

So I Googled it.

And the thing that popped up
was the definition of my life.

So, uh, I'll read it for you.

This is when you Google ADHD burnout.

ADHD burnout is often
something, a little deeper.

It refers to the cycle of over-committing
and overextending that leads

to fatigue in people with ADHD.

It involves taking on too many tasks, and
or commitments and then the subsequent

exhaustion that happens when we are
unable to fulfill all of our obligations.

Jesse: Wow.

Trina Haynes: I read that and I
thought, this is my whole life.

I have been, I think I've
been in the burnout cycle

continuously my whole entire life.

And I've, I've seen little pieces
of like peace and calm, which is the

in-between burnout, but it's very small.

It's very short and I'm right back in
burnout again, right after Um, therapy

has really helped me to like see that and
fig and like recognize it, but I'm still

like, I'm just now coming off of a burnout
cycle because I had two full-time jobs.

I was doing the ADHD
part, like the ADHD page.

I was working part-time for my
mom and I homeschool my daughter.

So I did the math and it was like
four full-time jobs basically Um,

but the problem is, is I didn't even
like realize that I was doing that.

I just was like, this is all I know.

All I know is juggling 50 things at once.

Um, and so seeing that on Google
really hit me in a way that was like,

oh my God, this is, this is not good.

Like, this is, there's a name for
this and it's called ADHD burnout.

And you would probably
don't want to be there.

Like we probably need to get out of that.

So, yeah, I'm, I'm working in therapy to
like come off of that, but also to stay

off if not forever, but like longer,
because inevitably I will probably end

up doing four full-time jobs again.

But, you know, maybe I can
recognize it and like come

off of that quicker next time.

So that's what I'm working on.

Um, and like educating other ADHDers
about burnout so that they can recognize

it because I didn't even know that
this was happening, even though I

had full-time, four full-time jobs.

I didn't even realize
that was the norm for me.

So, um, yeah.

Now I have one full-time job.

I do the, I do the Instagram.

And I'm coming down from ADHD burnout,
but just yesterday I told my husband,

I was like, hey, we should start
teaching, painting classes at breweries

again, because I used to do that.

I'm like, and I caught myself and I
was like, no, we don't need to do that.

So my therapist is like, okay, just
because you can doesn't mean you should.

And just really looking at my calendar and
making like, really paying attention to my

time and what I want to do with my time.

That is the biggest takeaway
with ADHD burnout for me.

Jesse: Yeah.

I think it's, so I think it's so
important to, to have labels for things.

So I think like being able to
recognize ADHD, burnout becomes so

much easier when, you know, it's
a thing, like I think that's why.

Rejection sensitive dysphoria has really
connected with so many people because

it's like, it's not even a real thing.

Like you can't be diagnosed with
having rejection sensitive dysphoria,

but by labeling it, it really, and
kind of recognizing what it is.

It really helps you to be able
to identify it and deal with it.

And it's the same with the ADHD
burnout, like you said, I, my, my wife

had mentioned a few weeks ago to me.

She's like, um, so it looks
like you're starting a podcast.

Um, cause she saw it, you know, something
I posted on Instagram and I was like, oh,

uh, yeah, I guess I didn't tell you that.

Um, I'm just going to do this and
she's like, you're kind of doing a lot.

Um, and it's so easy.

Trina Haynes: That's a good point
because that's what happened is my

family members and the ones that love
me and the ones that are closest to

me are the ones that call me out and
be like, Mmm, you're doing too much.

Like, you may want to reevaluate,
like, what's going on?

Are you sure you want to do this?

Do you have time for this?

And like, your wife is obviously
very aware of like, what's going on.

So it's very important to have
someone near you that can like,

kind of call you out on it.

Cause you may not recognize
that you're doing it.

And it sounds like you
kind of are doing it

Jesse: Yeah.

I, I agree.

I think that really helps.

Cause I, she said that and I was
like, yeah, what do you mean?

What's the big deal?

And she's like, uh, you're
doing kind of a lot.

Uh, have you thought about what,
how much work this is going to be?

And I hadn't realized just
like, hey, this sounds exciting.

I'm going to do this.

And it makes sense for me to do that.

And then I didn't really
like, evaluate like the work

that was going to go into it.

So through that, like, it helped
me to recognize like step back and

like, okay, do, does it make sense
for the, for me to actually do this?

Should I do it?

And through that, I'm
going to do bi-weekly.

So I'm going to do every other week
episodes instead of every week.

Cause when I, before I was like,
I'm going to do it every week.

It's going to be amazing I
think can take on the world.

Yeah.

Trina Haynes: I also am starting a
podcast like that is on my agenda,

so there's that too, but yeah.

Honestly, that's one thing I love about
ADHDers is like, we are not afraid to be

like, I'm going to start a podcast and I'm
gonna start an Instagram and like there's

a level of bravery or maybe stupidity.

I don't know.

You tell me um, it's just naivety maybe
of like, I can take on the world, but

I like that we're brave enough to like
try new things and see what sticks

and like, that's one of my favorite
things about having ADHD is so I don't.

Jesse: Yeah.

Trina Haynes: I don't
really want that to change.

Jesse: For sure.

Like I, if there is a pill that
took away my ADHD, I wouldn't

even consider like sure.

I would love some of the negative symptoms
to go away, but I love there's so much

of me that, uh, that omnipotential is Dr.

William Dodson calls it.

That idea of like, I can do
anything as long as I can, like

get that energy and focus to do it.

And it's like the podcasting, like, I'm
sure there's a lot of people out there

that are like, oh, I could never do that.

Um, and for me, I thought like,
hey, should I do a podcast?

Yeah, I'm going to do it.

This is going to be amazing.

I'm going to dive in fully
and learn everything I can and

like tackle this new challenge.

And I love that about my brain
that I just feel like anything

is pretty much possible.

Uh, if I'm energized
enough to like take it on.

Trina Haynes: Yeah.

I love that too.

That is probably my
favorite quality of ADHD.

And I've gotten to do a lot of really
cool things not afraid to like, do

cool things, like some people are.

So like, that's something, I mean, I hear
ADHDers kind of complain about that part

of them where they're like, I never can
stick to anything and yeah, but I like the

trying new things and seeing what sticks
and I guarantee something will stick.

Something is bound to stick.

Like the odds are in our favor.

We try enough things like
you could adore podcasting.

That could be your
thing, that could be it.

So it's like, it did take you all
of these years of trying all these

different things to, to lead you here.

And I, I kind of am like a hippie
and I believe in some of that, like,

everything happens for a reason.

And I think that like all of
these crazy jobs that we've had

have literally led us right here.

So I wouldn't really change,
any of that, even though it was

hard and kind of embarrassing
sometimes job hopping all the time.

I don't want to be somewhere
where I'm not happy.

I won't.

So I don't really see
anything wrong with that.

Jesse: Yeah, for sure I think
I think that's an awesome way

to wrap this up right here.

I'd love to jump into shiny objects.

Shiny objects.

Uh, I love to end the show with this.

It's basically just a time to talk about
something you are excited about lately.

Maybe it's a book or TV show,
something that is grabbing your

interest and you're having, you know,
it's just your current obsession.

Trina Haynes: I have two things we're
talking, we talked about burnout.

I do, I did just read the book, um, it's
called Burnout, completing the burnout

cycle, something along those lines.

I'll send it to you so you can share.

Um, but it is a great book about
burnout and how to close the

loop with the burnout cycle.

Fabulous read.

So I, and I finished the entire book.

I hyperfocused, I think, I think other
ADHDers would really like it as well.

Um, and then my other thing is, is
I'll show you, but I'll explain.

I don't know if you remember these
pens from like when we were kids in

the nineties and you seem like you're
about my age, but colors, got the

different color ink and you click it.

And like, you can change the colors out.

I feel like it is such an ADHD product
because it's clicky and it's multicolor.

Like, you can take
notes with this bad boy.

Like I'm obsessed with these
little kids five-year-old pen.

Um any kind of, any kind of like prod,
like any kind of thing that helps me

take notes and helps me do my job.

Highlighters and pens and markers
and stuff like is a big one for me,

because I need that visual, like,
like creative side of everything.

Jesse: Yeah.

I love It's, it's kind of like
a fidget toy built in with like

a whole array of pens, but in a
one little object it's perfect.

Trina Haynes: I don't
know what it's called.

I don't know if there's a special
name for it's like a multi-pen.

Jesse: yeah.

Trina Haynes: I don't know.

But uh, I told my Instagram following, I
was going to look up like, maybe there's

a nicer adult version of this is my
this is my, daughter's pen and she's 12.

Um, I stole it from her, but
yeah, uh, I'm hoping there's

like a grownup version of this.

Jesse: Awesome.

Well, if, if you find that
you'll have to let me know and

we'll put it in the show notes.

So other can check that out.

Trina Haynes: Okay.

My Lisa Frank pen, I'll
share that with everyone.

Jesse: Is Lisa Frank,
is that still a brand?

Is that still around?

Trina Haynes: It better be.

That, I feel, I feel like that's
the only reason I did do okay in

school was Lisa Frank stuff because
like it appeals to my ADHD brain.

The bright colors, the
animals, like, yeah.

Jesse: That's kinda, I feel like the
sensory of the trapper keeper when

I was growing up was big, like, oh
yeah, that really satisfying velcro.

Trina Haynes: Ahh.

Jesse: open that up yeah, yeah.

Trina Haynes: You gave me chills.

Jesse: Awesome.

So um my shiny object.

I'll talk about a book.

I read it earlier this year.

Uh, or it was late last
year called Hell Yeah or No.

And it's by Derek Sivers.

And Derek Sivers, he's got several books.

He's written that they're all.

I don't think he has ADHD, but they're
all very ADHD friendly books because every

chapter is basically one to two pages.

So it's like really short chapters
that are on certain topics.

Trina Haynes: Well, the title.

Hell Yeah or No sounds very ADHD.

That's pretty much how I live my life.

It's like, hell yeah.

Or no, and yeah,

Jesse: Right?

Yeah.

So the book is, the subtitle is what's
worth doing and the book is all about

sort of like evaluating, basically when
you have all these opportunities, like

choosing the ones, not the ones that
are like, yeah, that would be decent.

Like, no, the ones you're really
excited about like, hell yeah,

I'm going to take that on.

Those are the things that
you should really embrace and

like chase down that passion.

Otherwise say no, like if it's, if
you're not a hell yeah, you're a no.

And I love that, principal and just, uh,
his books he's he has several other ones.

There's like four of them, I think,
that are all the short chapter

books and highly recommend it.

Very, very ADHD ADHD friendly.

Trina Haynes: Oh, nice.

Yeah.

I'm going to look that up.

What's funny because I've
actually been using that phrase.

If it's not a hell yes, it's
a no, for like 10 years.

Like, my like motto in life and I really
do think that could be an ADHD motto.

Jesse: Definitely.

It definitely fits.

Yeah.

Trina Haynes: Yeah.

I'm going to have to read that one.

I appreciate the recommendation
and hopefully I know I'm going to

buy it, but can I get through the.

That is the question.

Jesse: I mean, that's the, the main
reason I recommend it is because

I read like 30% of most books.

Yeah.

But this one, because of those
short chapters, it's so easy

to just be like, oh, I'm going
to read a chapter real quick.

And then you read 20 pages because
you're just jumping through it and.

Trina Haynes: Oh, good.

Okay.

Oh, yay.

That's exciting.

Yeah.

And I felt the same way reading the
burnout book, but because it was just

so in it, it was talking about me.

So it was like reading a biography
about myself because it's just that's

why I was able to hyper-focus on it.

So I find books like
that for our aDHD brains.

Like, it's really nice when
you can find a book like that.

Jesse: Yeah, for sure.

And since you mentioned that you're
going to be starting a podcast soon.

Um, I'm going to recommend a second
book that I just finished reading

called Stop Asking Questions.

And it's by Andrew Warner.

And it's basically about
like how to interview people.

And it's also, I don't think he has
ADHD or I have no idea, but it's also

very ADHD friendly with those short
chapters and like example stories

that don't overstay their welcome.

I feel like a lot of non-fiction
books are like, hey, this is a

really long story to set up the
premise and I'm like a paragraph.

And I'm like, okay.

Yeah.

But get to the where's the good stuff.

And this book does a really good job
of having, stuff, but it gets to the

actionable content really quickly.

So that's one.

Trina Haynes: That's exciting.

I'm going to hit up the bookstore.

Jesse: Awesome.

Well, thank you so much for,
uh, being on the podcast.

Uh, I'd love to just like
where can people follow you and

see what you've got going on.

Trina Haynes: Sure.

So I am on the lovely world of
Instagram at @myladyADHD, which

is really hard to say fast.

You did, you did really well earlier,
cause usually I'm like, like.

Um, but it's, uh, @myladyADHD on
Instagram and I have a website,

My Lady ADHD, um, and it's just a
community, mostly women who are just

now finding their ADHD diagnosis and
just a lot of funny relatable content.

Um, kind of similar to what
you're doing, but, you know, we,

I have, there's a lot more females
probably on my page than yours.

Um, different symptoms as men sometimes.

So different relatable content,
but yeah, it's great community.

They help me more than I help them.

Um, like I said, but yeah, you can find
me on there and I will be launching

the My Lady ADHD podcast very soon.

Jesse: Awesome.

Well, I will have links to
all of that in the show notes.

You can go to adhdnerds.com to check
that out as well as a full transcript.

Thank you so much for being
here, this was amazing.

Trina Haynes: I know.

Thank you for having me.

I can't wait.

You're going to invite me back.

Right?

I get to come on weekly or biweekly.

Jesse: Right, every week.

We'll just, yeah, we'll just do it.

Trina Haynes: Okay.

Let's do it.

We'll just talk about our
favorite books and fidget toys.

Jesse: That's our show,
thanks for listening.

If you want to support the show
and the other work I do, you

can go to patreon.com/jessej.

That's J E S S E J.

Please don't sign up if it causes you
any hardship or difficulty, and you

can always support the show for free
by leaving a review in Apple Podcasts

or Spotify, or hey why not both.

Full show notes and transcription
are available at adhdnerds.com.