Dan Go: Why Death Is The Strongest Motivation (Part 2) | MMP #310

Today we welcome Dan Go for Part 2 of our 2 part series. This was Dan's first ever live podcast, and as you'll hear, he didn't disappoint. His story is quite incredible - deeply emotional and strikingly inspiring. We hope you enjoy.

Dan is a successful fitness coach, entrepreneur, content creator, and owner of High Performance Founder, a company specializing in fitness coaching. Dan is well known and widely appreciated for his twitter account and thoughts on fitness, longevity, and health. He has gained a large following on Twitter, recently also starting a YouTube channel.

Key topics discussed:

- Using death as motivation to live life to the fullest and prioritize what matters most
- Focusing on being a good father and husband as life's greatest accomplishments
- Questioning the "red pill" culture and embracing a more nuanced view of gender roles and relationships
- Leaving a positive legacy for one's children through example and being present
- Placing "side bets" and balancing risks when pursuing entrepreneurial ventures

Timestamps:

(00:00) Reflections on Time and Death
(04:19) Belief, Authenticity, and Attracting Positivity
(15:28) Balancing Risks and Side Bets
(24:07) Perspective on Life and Relationships
(33:12) Emotional Awareness and Self-Improvement
(37:27) Inspiring Podcast Conversation With Guest


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Creators & Guests

Host

Brett Ender 🥩⚡️

The food system is corrupt and trying to poison us... I will teach you how to fight back. Co-Host of @themeatmafiapod 🥩

Host

Harry Gray 🥩⚡️

Leading the Red Meat Renaissance 🥩 ⚡️| Co-Host of @themeatmafiapod

What is The Meat Mafia Podcast?

The Meat Mafia Podcast is hosted by @MeatMafiaBrett and @MeatMafiaHarry.

We're two guys who walked away from the typical path to carve out something different. Based in Austin, we’re on a mission to figure out what it takes to live a fulfilled life in a world that often pushes us away from meaning.

We have conversations with people we believe can help us, diving deep into the pillars of health, wealth, and faith, as the cornerstones of our mission.

Whether it's challenging the modern food system, questioning conventional health advice, or building something from the ground up, we're here to explore the tough questions and share the lessons we’ve learned along the way.

If you're tired of the noise and ready to find meaning, tune in and join us!

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Part 2
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[00:00:00] It's such a powerful story, and thank you for sharing. Um, I feel like one of the things that I take away from that is, like, how a lot of times, It takes some of these moments that knock us off our feet in order to create the change and true appreciation for time and actually develop a understanding of time that's based in reality, and that is that We only have so much, so much time here, and to really make the most of it, I'm curious if there were, if there's anything that you could say to, you know, the version of yourself, you know, 30, 20 years ago, who maybe like wasn't thinking about time in the same way, that would, uh, Be impactful, because, you know, it is a tragic and hard experience, but I think if people can hear the right words, it's like, you can create this change without having to go through stuff like that.

Well, number one is, you don't have [00:01:00] to wait until you're at rock bottom to make a decision about your life. I think a lot of people, they wait until they're at their wits end, until like the situation is like at the worst. When they're like, alright, that's it, I'm done, I'm making a decision, I'm gonna move this other way.

It's like you don't have to wait till rock bottom to make a decision that is like beneficial for your life. The other one I would say is also, it sounds weird, but it's like death is a feature instead of a bug in life. And the reason I say that is because A lot of times people are scared of death. And that's what I was.

Cause I was just like, I was like scared of like, dying. And for what reason, I don't, I don't know. Probably cause I, I thought I liked life at that time. But, dying just seems scary to me. But, if you use it as this way to kind of like, propel you. as a way to motivate you to remind yourself that you don't have that much time.

That it doesn't matter if you're [00:02:00] 20, 30, 40, 50s. It doesn't matter. Like it can actually get taken away from you. I know people who dropped in their like 30s. I know people who dropped in their 40s. And the thing is, is that like life is not this thing that's like promised to us. So I like to use death as this like thing that's in the back of my mind that motivates me to.

To work as hard as possible, but also not just to work as hard as possible, to bring balance to my life, because like, work is like one part of my life, the other part of my life is health, it's family, it's my friends, and it's all just to say, to balance all these things together. I'm, again, like, I'm not trying to be like the most successful person in the world or anything like that, like, I don't care.

I don't care about that stuff. But I do care about the time that I spend with my family, the time I spend with my daughters, the time I spend with my wife, uh, the work that I'm doing, the, do I care about it? You know, am [00:03:00] I, am I doing as much as I think that I can be doing? Am I putting enough effort? Am I proud of the effort that I'm putting in?

And, and then those are the things that, that death kind of enhances. Those are the things that death optimizes. As opposed to being scared of death, you should actually use death as this way to motivate yourself. Yeah. Yeah, it's interesting hearing the story about your mom when you were a kid when you were getting D's and she was like, What is going on with you?

And then I think I remember, it was maybe your About Me page on your website. I think one of the things you referenced about your mom is it seemed like she really believed that Yeah. Yeah. You had like all this potential sitting inside of you and that's probably why she was saying that to you because she knew you were capable of so much more and it's interesting how like in a strange way It's almost like her last gift to you as a mom was like making you realize that you had There was just this version of Dan that could exist if you applied yourself and you think about where you are 20 years later I'm sure that like makes you incredibly proud of yourself, too I am so lucky to have had someone like her who is [00:04:00] able to see something that I could not see in myself Cause like, when she said things like, you know, I can, anything you put your mind to, you can achieve.

I'm just like, what are you talking about, lady? You know? And, and then these lessons don't necessarily seep down until, you know, shit hits the fan. And, and I believe that her belief in me, which was greater than the belief that I had in myself, was this catalyst to me thinking that, hey, guess what? Like, You really can put your heart and mind into anything and, and kind of create the reality that you want.

And we were talking about like this whole idea of like reality is like malleable. I really do feel that way. Like I really do. And call it like, you know, uh, call it like a connection to something or whatever you, whatever you think about. But I do believe that when you kind of like lead from a place that is inherent, that is true to like what your heart is speaking.

[00:05:00] Then, and you let go of any kind of like outcome, you do what you think is like right for yourself and you put one foot in front of the other. I believe really good things happen as a result. And, and you just kind of like wake up and you're like, oh shit, here I am. And, and the funny thing is, is that when it happens and when you kind of like get these things that you've seen like in your vision before you've even seen it.

What happens as a result is, is like you don't have this like celebratory thing. It's like, oh yeah, we just like hit it. Yeah. It actually is this thing where it's like, yeah, this was the way it was like meant to be now What's like the next, you know, what's the next rung in this vision that we're gonna create?

And it, it stems from having a mom who believed in me It stems from Having someone who would always affirm these things into my brain until I started affirming them to myself mm hmm, and I'm so thankful to my mom to this day and And And I love her, man. Like, she was, [00:06:00] she was like the most important person in my life.

And, um, I'm so grateful that I had someone like her in my life. Yeah. That's beautifully said. I loved when we, before we hit record, you know, Harry was saying how he was having some similar reflections of like, you know, living across the country from his parents and me as well. My parents are in New Jersey.

Harry's are in Virginia and you were, you were very quickly like, do you call her every week? Do you check in with her? And it's funny cause we've both been having these, these realizations the last year, especially as the brand has been growing, there's always this need of like, Oh, I have to connect with this person or get that person on the show or get on this investor's radar.

And we like picked our heads up one day and we were like, this one person would mean nothing to you if they didn't invest in your company. Versus like, when's the last time you called your mom? Just the woman that's believing in you more than anyone. Who will like, listen to every podcast, or read your tweets, and give you feedback.

Like, I don't know, I've just been thinking, I don't know. Maybe as I'm getting older, I've just been thinking more about that. Like, instead of just always striving for this new connection. [00:07:00] Like, dude, your mom's the most, she's gonna believe in you more than anyone ever will. Yeah, and it's so funny. Because people will be more likely to message someone that they admire on social media, then send a text message to their own frickin parents.

Absolutely. Yeah, it's just like, it's so backwards. And, and I think what you guys are doing, and what I'm trying to do, is, I would like to create from a place where, where I am the magnet for things, rather than me, like, seeking out and reaching out. Even though, like, part of, like, what I was saying about, like, sending voice notes to five people that follow me, I also send, like messages to people that I admire and people that, you know, just really inspire me.

And just doing, just doing like stuff like that. It's just, you know, I would want to be the magnet for really good things rather than trying to be the person that opts to like seek them out. And what that means to me is like, okay, number one, create [00:08:00] things that you're really proud of. So number one, it's not like external based, it's like internal based.

And then eventually it's like, if you do create really good work and you kind of keep on building upon this work that you just try to keep on improving upon, where not many people are trying to do that, eventually you're going to create this kind of like attraction field where people kind of like come into your space.

And people want to talk to you, people want to know you, and people, and people want to do business with you. So, I do think it's like more so like attract, be the person that can attract what you want rather than kind of like, Oh, I got to like network with this, I got to network with that. Maybe it's because like I'm 44 because I did that stuff when I was in my 20s and 30s.

Now I'm kind of like, I don't, like I don't care about getting into like certain circles. I remember talking to my friend, uh, Nicholas about this where it's just like, I really just want to talk with people that I jive with now. And, uh, And if that means, like, there's someone that I admire, cool. But if that means they're a person who has really good [00:09:00] values and someone that I, like, connect with on all sorts of different levels, cool.

And that's where I'm, like, optimizing my life for. And eventually, like, with the work that I'm putting out there and the amount of effort that I'm putting out there into my work, I think that's gonna attract really good people. And I think when you come from it with, like, that mindset, or if I come from it with that mindset, I think I will attract the right people into my life.

Mm. There is something to be said about, like, over networking and trying to, like, do everything to, like, you know, be in these circles and, like, all this kind of stuff. One really should just, like, be the person that kind of attracts these people in the first place. Mm. Yeah. Having gotten more into the gospel the last year and started to study the life of Jesus, one of the things that I've noticed is the law of attraction in his life.

Mm. And Where I think that stems from is just the truth, where, you know, he's all, he would always tell the truth, whether it's a loving truth of encouragement or a loving truth [00:10:00] of saying, you know, someone's doing something wrong. And I think both draw people in where I know there's moments in my life where a friend has given me advice or said that I'm off base on something.

And it actually drew me closer to them because I respected the fact that they were able to speak. Some truth into my life, and I think there's something to what you're saying about just the law of attraction in general. We're Perceptively we're always trying to chase different things, but when you're following what's true to your nature There really is something magnetic about that and there's something undeniable about people who do that Because everyone knows people who are walking with a certain level of authority in their life It's like I want to be around that guy.

Yeah, it's it's like know what the outcome is But then also the counterintuitive thing is like to let go of said outcome and to put one foot in front of the other and to almost like not give it this like idea of excess importance. And, uh, and when we speak of truth, it's like when, when [00:11:00] we hear people speak from authentic places, we respect those people.

When, when they are talking from a place where we share similar values. So I'll use an example. I was, I remember I was at this like, business, uh, not business, but I was like at this dinner, I was with my friends, with my community, and there's like this, this new guy that I met down there. And he had known like the stuff that I put out on like X and all this other places.

And then, I didn't ask for any like advice, but he started giving me advice on like, oh yeah, you should like, You know, like monetize this and monetize that and like you should do this with your audience and do that with your audience like all this kind of stuff and Then and then this is what I mean by like shared values.

It's like well, I mean like yes if I was optimizing for Monetization and money. Yes, then obviously like I'd be like, yeah great But that's not like what I'm trying to optimize for he's speaking from his truth Which is like based on external like how to make more money For [00:12:00] my truth, I'm like, how can I make stuff that I'm like Really proud of.

You know, I can be really really jazzed about this thing that I'm about to create and It was just so funny like with all the with the idea of like truth It's like when when you have a truth that is in line with the values that you guys share That's one that kind of like shifts your perspective, and you know that they're not doing it from a malicious angle either.

They're doing it from a place that they're speaking from, an authentic place, that, that actually speaks true to them. And it has nothing to do with them wanting something from you, or not wanting something from you. They, they want to do something, and they want to say something to you because, They think that it's gonna be the best thing for you and not for them.

So, so yeah, like for me it's like to be able to do, and I'm still trying to get there. I'm not perfect. But to be able to speak from like an authentic place where you're just like telling the truth like a hundred percent of the time. Like I, I'm trying to get there. I'm still not there. But to, to pull yourself more towards that, that angle.

I mean more people are just going to [00:13:00] trust you because you're not putting a filter on yourself based on what you think should be said. Yeah, I'm trying to remove saying the words you should at the start of a sentence to someone. It's such a good point that you make because when you're using the words you should, You're speaking from this place of like, what you think that other person should be doing without understanding their aims, their motivations, who they are.

It's like, yeah dude, obviously I should be running paid ads on this thing. Yes. But the whole purpose of what I'm doing is not just to optimize for money. Yeah. So I think it's, I think it's such a good point. Yeah. And, and that's something I'm trying to get away from as well. It's the whole shitting over yourself.

And so, and, and the more that I like tell people, unless they're literally asking me for advice. Like if it's a coach, it's like a coach relationship. Even if it's a coach relationship, you kind of like still get away from that whole you should thing. It's like, here's what I would recommend. As opposed to like, here's what you should do, right?

Because there's one thing to tell someone, [00:14:00] do this. There's another thing for them to come to the realization themselves. Whether that be trying it out first, or inviting them to, to be able to have that thought for themselves and to make that decision. Especially from like a coach's angle, you want to make sure that the client, even though they paid you for this service, that's like, okay, change my body, tell me what to do, you actually want them to be able to make these decisions for themselves.

Yes. Because that's going to come from like a deeper place. And then they're going to have more autonomy over that decision and they're actually going to have more ownership over that decision. So it's like, so yeah, again, not perfect at this, but I do think that the more you get away from that you shoulds and like all this kind of stuff, the more, the more that we can get into this place where people are just making decisions for themselves based on like what they think is right for their life.

Yeah, it's really well said and I hope to you'd, you'd mentioned earlier about this concept of being a magnet as a really worthy goal and that's something that I think we both wholeheartedly agree with and I hope people realize [00:15:00] that you only become the magnet from putting out a really great work product and actually being someone that's useful, right?

It's so easy to like, yeah. overly optimized for networking and connections. And I think one of the things Harry and I have been leaning into is like, if we just be of service and create the best product that we can, other people will be gravitated towards you for that. Like for you, right? Yes. You started blowing up on Twitter a couple of years ago, but that's like 20 years of effort for you to have this blow up like in the, in 2022 or whatever it was.

Yeah. I feel very just, solid with what I say because I have that 20 years behind me. And, uh, I remember first, like, just like YouTube, I was like dabbling on social media, all this kind of stuff. And the reason I was dabbling beforehand, before I got like really serious about it, was because I don't believe like my ideas were validated at that time.

I was still trying them out. I was still testing things out in my gym. So once I sold a gym and once I kind of like had this two decades of experience of fitness under me. [00:16:00] You kind of see, like, what comes and goes. You kind of see, like, what, what is, like, the, the trend and what kind of, like, remains true.

Like, the Lindy of fitness, so to speak. So, so for me, it's like, having those two decades were so invaluable, uh, in terms of, like, what I'm able to do, what I'm able to speak on right now. I'm able to speak from confidence knowing that I have that, uh, stack of effort behind me. And, uh, And that's what kind of like, again, it's like those reps, everything comes down to like reps as well.

It's like those are the reps that have allowed me to be strong in the opinions that I have and even still like I'm also like open to changing my opinions no matter what. And yeah, it's uh, having those 20 years are invaluable to me and I don't know if anyone Or anyone right now has that patience to do that before getting on social media.

But, but I'm glad I was able to be born in a, in a place where we didn't have social media. Where we didn't even have like the internet back then. And, and I remember what [00:17:00] it was like back then. So I have this like dichotomy of like what it was like and what it is right now. And I also have that experience.

And that's what allows me to, to create in the way that I can create. Is just having that behind me. Yeah. Having built what you've built now and having the experience under your belt now, how do you think about risk? Like how would you talk about risk to someone who's maybe a little bit paralyzed by it?

Hmm. I got my best results by looking at risk in ratios. So a lot of people, I mean, my biggest risk that I ever took was like giving up the corporate job and going all in the fitness when, when I went all in fitness. Yeah. I would not recommend a lot of people to, to really do that. If I were, if it were me, and even in like this day and age, I, I look at risk in terms of like, Okay, well, I have this thing that's going on for me.

I'm going to do this thing on the side. And I'm going to take my risks with this thing that's on the side right now. [00:18:00] Say it's like with, I wouldn't call YouTube a side thing, because I'm being pretty professional in terms of like the way in which I approach it. Okay. But I didn't start you I didn't say okay screw Twitter and screw all the rest of my social medias I'm just gonna go all in on YouTube.

I kept all those things going and I was using those as a basis for what I create on YouTube. So I don't think that people should give up everything and go like all in on something. I actually do think that you should be placing side bets on these risks and then use these side bets to inform whether or not these risks are working, but also like what can you tweak within these risks to like make the chances of succeeding a little bit more.

And also something that we also have to keep in mind is that sometimes these risks that you think that you may want to take sometimes leads you up a ladder that you don't really want to Be on in the first place you start climbing the slider. You're like, I don't like this And then and then sometimes you have the sunk cost fallacy of being on this ladder and be like, well I just like went up like 20 steps.

I don't have to [00:19:00] like just go back down and start all over again You have to you have to understand that it's about I think like risk is more about side bets Rather than like going all in on things and then once once you have informed that decision and once that decision has been made So even with like YouTube right now, it's like You We're starting to see some really good traction.

I'm still not giving up any of the stuff that I'm doing on social media, but I am putting a lot more attention on YouTube, because it's giving me the results that I think are really good for the long term. So, so more like throw the side bets in, and then put effort towards the side bets. And then for me, it's like, A lot of it's like down to balance too.

'cause I don't have a social media team. It sounds weird, but like a lot of people think that I have like this huge social media team. It's like, no. It's like all me, I, I create on LinkedIn, I create on Twitter, I, I take everything I do on LinkedIn, put it over to Instagram and I create all of my YouTube stuff.

I have an editor for that mind you. But it's to create this balance where I'm creating for these platforms and doing it in a way where I can like batch [00:20:00] process for these guys. Mm-Hmm. batch process for these, so. What, even tomorrow, tomorrow's my YouTube day, scripting, creating the video, uh, doing all the shots, and edit, and sending it to my editor.

And then, uh, after that, on Thursdays, I have, um, my editor sends me back a video that I did last week to check it out, to make any changes that I need to make. I have, like, Monday or Tuesdays that are just, like, all about, like, just creating for, like, Twitter, creating for, like, LinkedIn. And now it's, like, to really schedule things out to, like, batch process and to make sure that I'm putting in the time for everything to make sure that all the wheels are still turning, in a sense.

But, but yeah, like, if I were anyone, like, just starting off and they're like, had this 9 to 5 job, and they're like, Oh, like, should I go all in on this business? I'm like, no, you shouldn't. Uh, like, see if you can make 1 off of it while you're at this job. And then if you can, that, that informs you that you can make more money.

And then, I like this thing where it's like, Your, your, uh, challenge is to see whether or [00:21:00] not your monthly, income from that side hustle can match the monthly income from your main, right? I love to do that with each and every one of the projects that I do. And then once that happens, or if it happens, you know, if you're so lucky, then you're like, okay, well, this gives me a chance to say whether or not I want to keep this thing, if it serves me or not.

Right? At least you have optionality rather than saying, I need to go all in on this. Yeah. Such a good answer. And there's, you hear so many different opinions about this because especially in Austin where it's such a creator hub, there's definitely this theme of like, F your nine to five job, like jump ship as quickly as possible.

And I can't imagine doing that without placing those bets. And I think you need to make the time to like have that solitude and understand what your own risk profile is. Like there's someone there, the founder of Ice Barrel, Wyatt Ewing, he came on the podcast. He said, I was working this sales job, I came up with the idea of an ice barrel, and I literally put in my two weeks notice and just started this thing without even having a prototype [00:22:00] ready to go.

So like, balls of steel, kudos to him, it's an incredible company. And then there's another guy that we've had on, this guy Michael Coomer, who's this huge blogger out of Atlanta, nutrition blogger, and he waited until he was making three times the amount of money from his blog than his corporate job before he quit.

So two opposite ends of the spectrum. What I did when Harry and I were growing meat mafia. is I actually found gratitude in my nine to five, even though I didn't like it. I was like, you have this job that's paying you really well. That gives you the flexibility to like write content, learn, start to scale a following.

And then once we made our first few clients from the agency business, I was like, all right, I'm not fully supplementing, but I've saved up enough. And I feel confident around our trajectory that I can then quit my job to go all in. But I think we got to have to throw out that notion of like, F the nine to five, I think you need to find gratitude and place those side bets like you're talking about and figure out that one side bet of what you're supposed to be doing.

Yeah, the whole F the nine to five, it's like what happens when you have employees, right? Like, there is [00:23:00] a time and place for everything. And then there also is like a type of person that is positioned in like set for a specific thing. I don't think that everyone's meant to be an entrepreneur, nor do I think everyone's meant to be working a nine to five either.

I love the point that you made about gratitude, because a lot of times it's like, we think about the things that we don't have more so than the things that we actually do. And um, we're living in this like, In this place. I remember, you guys probably saw this on like, uh, Twitter. Where this guy showed his life on Twitter.

Or he didn't. It was like, him going through his 9 to 5. Did you guys see this video? I saw it, yeah. Yeah, and then everyone was just bagging on this guy. Right? But the reality is, is that if you compare, if you show that video to someone in the 1960s or 70s, they would look at that and be like, that's a dope, that's an incredible life, I want that.

Right. You know? Totally. Perspective means everything. And, and a lot of times, like, we have this, like, hedonic adaptation [00:24:00] towards, like, our lives. And, and we are living, not many people would agree with this, but we are living pretty comfortable lives right now. Like, we're living really good lives. And there are some people that are struggling, mind you.

There are some people that are struggling out there. But we have to understand, like, we do have, like, the, the creature comforts that a lot, a lot of people had, you know, way back then. So this whole, like, idea of, like, F to 9 to 5 and whatever, a lot of it's coming from what that person, you know, Who that person is and what they like, you know, think, but also it's like, I feel bad for that person who says that because if you are an entrepreneur and then you do want to have employees, like what, what is the message of like F the nine to five going to do for your employees?

Yeah, right. What if they like a nine to five, you know, like then, you know, it kind of creates this like dissonance a little bit. So I do believe that there's like certain people sue for some things and sue for other things. I don't believe everyone's like supposed to be like this, you know, world beating like entrepreneur and, uh, and, you know, going back to kind of like side bets and everything like that.[00:25:00]

It's like, hey, guess what? If you're working nine to five and you do have like a stable income, uh, you know, suffice it to say, I said like I hated my job back then, but I should have been very, you know, just thankful that I had a job in the first place. Yeah, right. That I was able to make that jump, right?

And it is true. It's like, be thankful for what you have before like thinking about the things that you don't have. Yeah. The hedonic adaptation reminds me of what we were talking about before the podcast which was like, we're talking about our grandparents, and you had mentioned like, your grandfather coming over from Ireland, taking the risk to get on a boat, to come to the U.

S. to just, with nothing, potentially, like, start a new life. And I think about that. Someone like that perspective versus us taking a risk on, you know, doing something. I'm like, okay, this isn't that big of a deal. . Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's put things into perspective. This is a lot smaller. Yeah, yeah. Is like we, we'll call it what it is.

It's like, you know, your, uh, your grandfather was an immigrant, right? Mm-Hmm. , um, my dad, [00:26:00] and even me, I'm, I'm an immigrant to this, uh, to North America. Um, and. And there is something to be said about having the perspective of knowing, like, where you came from. And it gets, it gets so easy to, like, get used to the type of lifestyle that you have, that you're always looking at, like, especially with social media, you're always looking at, like, what other people have.

And then that kind of, like, creates this, like, air of, like, wanting what, like, other people have. When the reality is, is that, you know, guess what? If you have, like, You know, a healthy body, you have a roof over your head, you have family members that love you, You have, you have food on the table, you have clean drinking water, it's like, you're crushing it.

Like, you are literally crushing life right now. Anything above that is like, is pretty bonus. And I think like what a lot of people are missing right now is also like just this whole, What is life like outside of work or what, what is, what am I doing with my life that is gonna mean something? And I think that's, like, where we're at at this very moment, but we also have to, like, [00:27:00] put things into perspective.

It's like, I think, I think, I forgot where I heard this from, but I heard, like, our, my, my parents were, like, thinking about survival. You know? They're thinking about surviving. They came here with not that much money in their pockets. They, they grew up, they actually, I saw the trajectory of, like, being from poor to going to, like, upper middle class in, uh, in Canada.

And We were living in, like, people's, our, our family friend's basement. And, and that shit is gonna stick with me for, for the rest of my life. And that gives me perspective. So, you know, there are some times where you kind of, like, want these things. And there's always, like, these levels that you're always, like, jumping towards.

And it's always so easy to kind of, like, just be too, kind of, crazy. Inundated with what you want, rather than kind of like always like seeing everything that's like already working and being more grateful for all that stuff. What are some of your proudest wins? [00:28:00] Being a good dad, being a really good husband.

Uh, those are probably, those are probably the top two. Uh, cause when you become a dad, it's just like, I mean, that's, that's pretty much like saying, are you serious about this life or what? You know? Uh. Yeah, for me to be able to like, spend the time, and to make the time, and to be present with, uh, my daughters, um, and to strive to be like a really good husband, I would say like, those are still things that I'm trying to do, and those are things that I'm proud of.

The aspect of, uh, taking myself from completely, I would say like, rock bottom to nothing, to, you know, Step by step, bringing myself to like where I am right now, where I'm able to influence millions of people throughout the world. I mean, that's, that's pretty cool. Um, if I told a 20 year old, my 20 year old self, that's, that's what would be happening, I'd be like, it still seems surreal to [00:29:00] this day.

And, and the last thing is like, I'm proud of kind of like this place where I'm at where I'm really creating from this place of not necessarily trying to like play to the crowd but trying to play to what's like speaking inside of me. And I really hope and I cross my fingers and I just have to be like, I have to keep myself awake to just making sure that I stay on that track.

Because a lot of times, uh, you can get very, kind of like, addicted to the results and to the, the outcomes that are being created. When in reality, it's like, you have like, zero control over all of these things. And I like to say this, it's like, I went from this place where it's like, Oh yeah, I tried to like, control my weight, I tried to control how much money I make, I tried to control what people thought of me, and I tried to control like, all these things that are like, outside of me.

But now it's like, Guess what? You have zero control over those things. What you do have control over is like, the foods that you put into your mouth, the exercise that you [00:30:00] do, uh, the information that you consume, and the time that you take to do the things that you love. And those are the things that you should be focusing on.

And the more that you focus on those things, The more that will give you more fulfillment, and it'll kind of like get you away from the anxiety of always like stressing over outcomes. And I'm glad I brought myself to that place right now, and I, and I hope, and I'm just, I pray, just keep myself at this place.

Mm. Yeah. Yeah, it's like there's, there's very few things that we have control over, but the things that we do have control over are so impactful. Yeah. Um, how long have you been with your wife for? Since 2016, 2015 or so. Awesome. Yeah, that's, uh, Nine years or so. Yeah. Yeah, we're gonna be on ten years almost.

So being with your wife for about a decade and you're saying you're proudest wins are being a great husband and a great dad. How do you feel about this whole like Manosphere red pill culture of preaching monk mode Success and finding a partner or mutually exclusive because we have our opinions on that and [00:31:00] I'd love to get your perspective on it.

A number of things. Uh, so I used to be really steeped into, uh, before I met my wife, I used to be really steeped into red pill, uh, culture. And it brought me to this place where I looked at women as like an enemy rather than as someone that is more of like a partner in this life. And I got to this place where Especially, like, after I met my wife, where I was, like, kind of, like, still steeped in, in that culture a little bit, she showed me that there's, like, A lot of, like, what they talk about is, like, so transactional.

And a lot of, like, what they talk about is, uh, is based off of, like, you know, quote unquote, like, evolutionary biology and, like, all this kind of stuff. There is something to be said about things that can't be seen, if that makes any sense. Um, yeah. And when I found my wife, uh, there was something that spoke inside of me that was just like, this is the, this is the fucking girl.

[00:32:00] Yeah. Yeah. When I first met her, I was like, this girl. And I don't know what it was. It was not based on any kind of like scientific fact or anything like that. And I had been dating a lot of, you know, people back before that. But there was just something that cannot be said about like understanding, like when you meet the person that you.

And I don't want to like, you know, they're, I think like a lot of times, especially like with a lot of like people who are steeped in that culture, it is like this idea of like sunk cost fallacy where you've built your brand around this thing. So obviously like you have to make sure that everything that you say is now in proposal in kind of like support of this thing that you need others to believe and that's fine.

But, I, I believe that men and women are, are kind of like more complex than they are simple. Um, and I do believe that, uh, roles, especially the way that we're evolving right now, especially the way that men are [00:33:00] evolving, and especially the way that women are evolving at this point, it kind of like, it kind of like evolves kind of like our own biological needs.

And when I think about it, it's like, even for myself, you know, red pill culture is like, Don't think about your emotions or drive them down or do push ups or something like that, like just to get rid of them. My whole thing is like, no, like the more that you actually push down your emotions, the more they're going to come back, just stronger.

So there has to be this, like, especially for guys who have like, who had this thing where it's like, I shouldn't feel emotion, but guys are actually probably as emotional if not more emotional than women. So we have to like, understand how to manage these emotions. How to sit with them and how to deal with them and I do a lot of things like journaling and Just being trying to be as like aware as possible of like what's going on inside of me and what my beliefs are coming from so that's so for me, it's like I I think red pill culture [00:34:00] is It's not necessarily something that I Subscribe to if that makes any sense.

I do believe that life is a little bit more You Colorful, if that makes any sense. In terms of like, I'll say the monk mode thing. I do believe that in a sense, there is something to be said about going all in and removing distraction for six months to eight months and just like going all in on goals. I really do believe that.

So, and I am biased to this, mind you, I have a monk mode video and it has brought amazing benefits in my life. I do believe in also the idea where you go to your extremes in order to find your balance, right? So with, uh, with something like monk mode, I do believe that a lot of the things that we do, especially like in our idle time, they're distracting us from ourselves.

So what if we put that time into like understanding ourselves, our health, [00:35:00] uh, our goals and into things that, you know, fulfill us and like matter most to us. And once you're done that particular mode, So, what happens as a result is, you have a better relationship because you've zoomed out from the things that have distracted you and you have more of a perspective on what they mean in your life.

And I actually spent um, a full year, so I meant to spend like seven days away from like alcohol and then I spent a full year, it turned into like a full year away from alcohol. And I ended up looking at back at that time and I was just like, Oh cool, like, I don't I don't really like drinking alcohol at all.

But does that mean that maybe once every like six to eight months, I'm not going to partake in a, in a drink with someone that I love? No, I'll, I'll take the debt for that day and I'll do it, you know? But I understand like what place it has in my life as opposed to what it was before, which was like this crutch that was using to like live life.[00:36:00]

So I do believe like there is benefit to things like monk mode, um, um, Yeah, I'll leave it at that. Yeah. What's one thing you want to leave for your kids? Whether it's a message or legacy. How do you think about that? Hopefully just like a better world in my own way, shape or form. Uh, in the way that I can, I can do with my own little effort.

That's probably the thing I want to leave with them. Um, a good example is the other thing is, yours. When I'm with them, how present am I with them? Uh, do I take care of my health? Because I want them to take care of their health. Uh, am I doing something that I believe in? Cause eventually, like, it doesn't matter what they choose, I just hope they believe in whatever they're doing.

Um, and having a really good relationship with my wife and loving her in front of my children. Uh, seeing that relationship as like its own [00:37:00] organism. Um, and seeing it as like this plant that you're just constantly like watering and and you're doing it intentionally because it matters to you but also because it's going to be a reflection on like what they see a good relationship to look like.

So I would say it's those things most likely. Um, Pretty much controlling what I can control, which is like my own effort and what I put out there into the world. Yeah. I love that. I think people are going to be really surprised that this is the first podcast that you've ever done. Hearing how well spoken you are and how good and authentic you are at telling stories.

But, I mean, dude, we feel honored to be here. Be able to host you on the first podcast that you've been on because you know whether you realize it or not When harry and I were starting our journey two years ago You were one of those big accounts that we really looked to and Saw the traction that you were having how authentic you were and how good the content was And you really inspired us a lot from afar and that's been Probably our favorite part of this whole journey is, you know, getting to actually meet and build relationships with people that inspired us [00:38:00] personally.

And um, I think getting to learn more about your story, I can't wait to hear how this impacts other people and dude, you're just doing amazing work and thank you so much for everything that you do. And dude, thanks for joining us on the pod today. Yeah. I appreciate it. And you guys are doing a service right now.

I hope you realize that, uh, hope you realize, uh, that you're getting people healthier. I hope you realize that you're changing their lives. through the work that you're doing. And, uh, and I'm really excited to see what the future holds for you guys. Um, and thanks for having me on here. I really appreciate it.

This was awesome. Yeah, dude. This was epic. Like, incredibly rich conversation and we went all over the place but, uh, I think it was incredibly impactful and our audience is gonna love it. So, yeah, we just appreciate you, man. Thank you. Thank you. Thanks. That