Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
Enjoyed? Your feedback means a lot to us. Click here to email us: https://tinyurl.com/thanksEN
We are learning ספר מסילת ישרים.
We're in the middle of פרק א׳.
We're discussing the purpose of life,
why הקדוש ברוך הוא created us.
ולא עוד,
אלא שאם תכלית בריאת האדם היה לצורך העולם הזה,
it doesn't make any sense that Hashem made us just for our temporary life
here in this world.
לא היה צריך מפני זה שתנופח בו נשמה כל כך חשובה ועליונה שתהא גדולה
יותר מן המלאכים עצמם.
Hashem,
when He makes anything,
He gives it exactly the tools and the skills that it needs to fulfill
its purpose.
If there's something which has skills or tools which it doesn't need,
then obviously you don't understand what its purpose is,
because why was it given it those כוחות?
If it has those כוחות,
that's its part of its role.
Everything that you have,
you need.
It's part of your role.
If you have a נשמה and it goes or it has כוחות beyond what
you need just to eat and drink If you were an animal and you
were given an instinct,
it makes sense.
That's the level of life that you need to live,
an instinctive life.
But if you were given morals and values which go beyond instinct,
it's clear that you were destined to use those morals and values and have
a higher form of life than just instinct.
And if you were given a calling for רוחניות,
something a higher desire to connect to some greater vision or greater path,
if you have any sense of תיקון עולם,
you came to this world to make a difference,
why was that given to you?
It doesn't make sense that הקדוש ברוך הוא would give that concept,
that mindset,
that נשמה with a vision of going beyond just the basic instinct unless that
was part of your purpose,
that was part of your task.
So when we're looking at our role here in this world,
if we're going to say eat,
drink,
be merry,
for tomorrow you will die,
the whole purpose is just to have fun,
just to have a good time,
but then you ask yourself,
why was I given this drawing,
this calling for something higher?
Why is that put in man?
It must be that's part of my purpose,
too.
When you're looking for what your role is,
you identify from within.
If you were given a נשמה which is greater than even the מלאכים,
כל שכן שאינה מוצאת שום נחת רוח בכל עינוגי הזה העולם.
Your body will find pleasure in the physical pleasures of this world.
It will.
But as much as you eat and you get pleasure short-term,
you'll be waiting for the next thing.
What's going to give me more pleasure?
The movie's great as long as you're watching the movie because it distracts you,
and you're maybe there's also like messages and lessons to learn,
but once it comes to an end,
you have a few minutes where you recount with your friends how interesting the
movie was,
and you say,
"Okay,
what am I doing now?
Like where's my purpose,
my meaning in life?" You play a game,
and as long as you're in the game,
you're in the game!
And there's nothing else in the world that matters.
You're fully in the game.
People are calling you and telling you to come,
they don't exist.
You're in the game.
But then when the game ends and you look back,
and you just say,
"I just spent hours and hours and hours,
or sometimes weeks and weeks,
sometimes years of my life being involved in a particular game,
and I've invested so much time in this game.
And then,
like,
but what did I What what's real from all of this?
What did I actually gain from all of this?" I remember there was a
boy once here in KBY,
right,
who for years until he came to KBY,
had played a particular game.
And it was an ongoing international game,
and he'd got points,
and he'd sold points,
and he'd lost points,
and he'd been tricked once or twice to give and it was a game
he was very,
very,
very,
very invested in.
And when he came to Everyone's probably imagining what game it probably was.
Okay,
we'll leave it.
So then so when he came to ישיבה,
so he said he's not going to actively play the game,
but he's also not deleting the game because,
like,
it took him years to get to the level that he got to and
earn the amount of points that he got,
like he can't just give it up.
Now everyone knows what the game is,
right?
So then so then he said said,
okay,
he's not losing,
but he's just So he said,
"I'm not going to play it.
I'm just not going to delete it,
and we'll leave Okay,
it's not really important.
It's the message behind it." And and anyway,
so then so the whole of שנה א׳,
he kept this game on his phone.
And he didn't play it during ישיבה,
כל הכבוד לו,
like he act- he chose not to play it in ישיבה,
but he played it when he went back for בין הזמנים,
and he like carried on where he was in the game.
And I remember it was in שנה ב׳,
like he was debating whether to delete it or not.
It was so hard for him to delete.
Even though he hadn't played for a long time,
he said,
"But I've invested so much in it,
and I've reached a certain level,
which is such a high level,
and my family has also given me points from their they and like and
I feel like I'm betraying them,
and like I've invested so much in it,
and I" Like it was so hard.
So I said to him,
"Look,
you haven't played for a while.
What would the נפקא מינה be if you delete it?" So for him,
the נפקא מינה was like giving away a part of himself.
That it was a נפקא מינה like of his whole identity.
"This is part of my identity." So I said,
"Right,
it's going to be a period of mourning." It sounded funny to say that,
right?
But for him,
it was really,
really integral to part of who he was and what he'd built.
I said,
"But then what will happen is,
you'll expand your identity in other things,
which are probably at this point more valuable to you in your life." And
he did it.
He deleted it.
deleted the game.
And he said after he did it,
he felt this pang of like,
"Oh,
I can't believe I just did that!" And then he said,
"Then I felt free,
that I didn't have to go back and check anymore.
I didn't have to see where everybody was.
I didn't have to like make sure that I was still in the game."
And he said it wasn't immediate,
but then he just felt his mind was more focused.
Like,
he in a way like put that aside and said,
"That's not part of my identity anymore.
I can now invest my identity more in תורה." And I'd love to say
that today he's a ראש כולל in בני ברק,
but no,
he went back to university,
got a degree,
got married,
has a couple of kids,
he's working,
normal life!
But no longer invested in this game in a way that his identity is
all tied up in.
Now,
now I want to tell a personal story about myself.
I was 16 years old,
and where I come from,
there are big exams.
Well,
they looked big at the time.
Looking back at it,
they're like not big at all,
but at the time,
they seemed like your whole life depends on these exams.
These are big exams that I had to do when I was age 16,
and we were very,
very invested in them,
trying to do very well.
And I don't know who he was,
a רב,
a guest rabbi,
not a rabbi from our school,
but they brought in a guest rabbi to come and gave a talk.
So he gave a talk,
and in his talk,
he said the following thing.
He said,
"Everyone here has an inner calling to come close to הקדוש ברוך הוא.
They have a נשמה calling them and telling them to come close to Hashem."
And he said,
"And you're not hearing it right now.
And you're not hearing it because you're watching movies,
you're reading novels,
you're playing games,
or you're very invested in your exams.
And therefore,
your whole world is like caught up in the temporary what's in front of
you,
what I have to take care of now,
and the distractions that I'm allowing myself to be distracted by." But he said,
"But I dare you," so he said,
"but I dare you!
Don't play the games.
After exams are finished,
don't plan anything for a period of time,
and just be.
Try to just be.
And if you do that,
you'll hear an inner calling to be someone greater,
to reach greater heights,
to connect to something bigger than yourselves,
and at that point,
you'll hear the call of the נשמה." That's what he said.
And I totally forgot about what he said.
I didn't say,
"Okay,
I'm going to do that," like,
but what happened was that after we finished,
so a lot of my friends,
my close friends,
they went on a תורה camp in Israel,
and I didn't go on תורה camp.
And I had like a week or so where some of my friends were
away,
and my other friends had gone on a brief time away,
just for like a week and then they were coming back.
And I'm an only child,
I don't have any siblings at home,
so I was doing nothing,
nothing at home,
absolutely nothing.
So I was reading a novel,
and I was like playing some chess against myself with the actual board where
you had to press down on the board,
and then two lights went "ting," and then like then they went again "ding"
over there,
so you knew where it wanted you to move it to,
like,
old fashioned pre-computer.
And then okay,
I did that for,
you know,
a couple of hours.
I learnt a little bit,
but like not I wasn't in the stage of that my at at that
time in my life,
I wasn't in the stage where I was like learning a few hours a
day.
And and and then I felt exactly what he was talking about.
And I hadn't thought about it,
but then when I was feeling it,
then I remembered this,
"I need to do something greater.
I need to connect to something higher.
I need to do something more meaningful." And that night,
I went to one of my רביים's houses,
and I asked,
"Can we learn משניות?" And he said,
"בשמחה רבה,
come." And we started learning together משניות.
And that was גשמאק,
like,
I really enjoyed that.
And like it felt like,
okay,
now I'm answering the call of the נשמה.
Like,
I'm I'm I'm beginning to answer the call.
And I'm still answering the call.
It's a It's a lifetime pursuit.
But if הקדוש ברוך הוא gives you,
if you allow yourself to hear it,
if you don't distract and distract and distract,
but you allow yourself to hear it,
then הקדוש ברוך הוא has given you a higher purpose than just the mundane
bodily needs.
אינו מוצא שום נחת רוח בכל עינוגי זה העולם,
and your נשמה's a need to connect to הקדוש ברוך הוא,
it will not find satisfaction in all the pleasures of this world.
You will find temporary pleasure,
meaning your body enjoys temporarily,
but there'll always be this inner calling of the נשמה saying,
"I need more." והוא מה שלימדונו חז"ל במדרש קהלת,
and this is the language of חז"ל,
גם הנפש לא תמלא,
your soul will not be complete.
That's the פסוק in קהלת,
and the משל of חז"ל,
משל למה הדבר דומה לעירוני שנשא בת מלך.
There was a girl who grew up in a house where she had refined
music,
refined literature,
refined foods,
and she had a level of lifestyle which was very refined,
and she knew high culture.
But she got married to a peasant,
a simple person,
who had no idea of the higher level of living that she'd experienced growing
up.
אם יביא לה כל מה שבעולם,
and one One day he says to her,
"I got something really exciting for you." And when he was scavengering around in
the garbage,
he found that there was someone who had thrown away a pizza,
and they'd left not only the crust,
but even a bit of the cheese!
And it wasn't so clean,
but he was able to clean it.
And he was so excited,
"I'm going to bring this home for my wife,
she's going to be so happy!
This is way better than the regular quality of food that I'm used to
eating.
This is like a clean crust with an extra bit of cheese on it,
this is amazing!" And he runs home and he says,
"Look what I got for you!" And she sees there's a bit of like
dirt over here,
dirt over here,
but he's like trying to like open it up in a way that looks
clean and he says,
"Dinner on me!" And she looks at it and she wants to vomit,
because she knows where it came from.
But for him,
it's like this is the high,
highest level of delicious delicacies he's ever,
ever offered anyone in the world.
She should be grateful and thankful.
אם יביא לה כל מה שבעולם,
עולם שלו,
אינו חשוב לה כלום.
She's like,
that's food?
Disgusting.
That that's what I would throw away,
I wouldn't even The servants would take that away before I entered the room.
כי בת מלך.
She's used to a higher level of living,
and what he's offering her doesn't even meet her standards.
ככה נפש,
אילו הבאת לה כל מעדני עולם,
it's cheap.
Like משל למה הדבר דומה?
A parent doesn't have enough time for their kid,
and the kid's bored,
and the kid's making a lot of noise and fuss in the house.
So the parent says to the kid,
"My son!" And the kid says,
"Finally,
my father wants to pay attention to me and love me and give me
some hugging and kissing,
and" And he says,
"I bought a new plastic toy for you,
there!
This should last you at least three hours!" And he gives it to the
kid and he runs off to his room to go and watch his movie,
the game that's about to start.
And the kid's looking at this plastic toy,
and he's saying,
"This is a replacement for attention from my father?
This is supposed to replace love and affection and care and connection?
This is a plastic toy!
This can't replace my father,
the connection with my father." And the kid throws it down and starts banging
on the door where his father's watching the game.
And the father is angry now,
"What do you want?
I bought you a toy!
Go play with the toy!" And the kid says,
"But I don't want the toy,
I want you!
I want you!" We have a נשמה which is calling out for a connection
with הקדוש ברוך הוא,
and we say,
"Vacation to the Bahamas,
whoa!
It's the latest,
most updated,
most מהדרין with the chef online and the on משגיח watching the whole time.
It's כשר and it's טרף all together!
It's געשמאק!" But the נשמה is saying,
"That's not what I want.
I want You,
I want connection with You." And we're offering it plastic toy after plastic toy
after plastic toy.
We give it all the delicacies of the world,
all the luxury of the world,
but the נשמה is not satisfied.
The נשמה is saying,
"But I want the connection with You!
I want You,
Hashem,
I want to connect to You." אינו כלום.
למה?
שהיא מן העליונים.
It's from a different level.
The level of a child wanting to connect to a parent is a different
league entirely of any level of plastic toy.
When the kid's upset and frustrated that he doesn't want to play with this
toy,
it's not going to help to buy him a more updated toy,
and a different plastic toy,
and a better quality toy.
It's not the point!
It's a different league!
He doesn't want toys,
he wants the real thing.
That's what חז״ל say in פרקי אבות:
על כרחך אתה נוצר ועל כרחך אתה נולד,
כי אין הנשמה אוהבת העולם הזה כלל.
The נשמה is not coming down to this world for its own benefit.
אלא אדרבה מואסת בו.
The נשמה hates being here.
It's not its goal,
it's not its purpose.
You know the song,
"Come with me,
little נשמה׳לה"?
You don't know that song?
That's worth hearing.
If you can get to hear it,
it's a beautiful,
beautiful song.
The song is called "נשמה׳לה",
and I'm not going to sing it to you now.
But the song goes,
"Come with me,
little נשמה׳לה",
and it's based on a גמרא that describes that when the נשמה is in
שמים and הקדוש ברוך הוא says,
"You have to go down to this body," and the נשמה starts crying and
saying,
"But I want to stay with You!
I want to stay with You,
Hashem!" And הקדוש ברוך הוא is trying to convince him,
"Now go down there,
and you have a purpose,
and you have a mission,
and you can do well." And the נשמה is fighting and fighting,
"I don't want to go,
I don't want to go!" That's the words in the song,
"I don't want to go!" And then eventually against its will it's pulled away
and it's sent down into a child,
and it suffers.
But then it starts learning how to connect to הקדוש ברוך הוא through the
the being.
through the person,
through the human.
And the song continues,
and it goes to the end of the person's life,
and he's had a life of תורה and מצוות,
and he's had a life,
and he's doing more מצוות,
doing מצוות.
And then it's his time to go,
and הקדוש ברוך הוא is calling the נשמה.
It says,
"Come back.
Come back.
It's time to come back." And the נשמה is saying,
"No,
I don't want to go!
I don't want to go!
I want to do more מצוות.
I want to learn more תורה.
I don't want to go!
I don't want to go!" Obviously,
the נשמה wants to be close to הקדוש ברוך הוא,
but he realizes that being here gives an opportunity of having an even deeper
connection,
an even a deeper real connection with הקדוש ברוך הוא because he's earned it
by being here.
But the נשמה,
on the way out,
on the way down,
he doesn't want to come.
Right now I'm close to Hashem and it's safe.
It's safe.
I don't know who I'm going to be put in.
I don't know if he's going to be loyal to You and dedicated,
or I don't know if I'm going to manage to remain loyal to You
when I'm in the body.
I don't know if I'm going to manage to do that.
So when the נשמה initially is sent down,
the נשמה is very upset.
מואסת בו,
it's disgusted by it.
אם כן ודאי לא היה בורא הבורא יתברך בריאה לתכלית שהוא נגד חוקה ונמאס
ממנה.
I must tell you an interesting story.
I don't have a solution for this,
but there was once a boy,
he didn't learn in כרם ביבנה,
he learned in some other ישיבה,
and he was a genius beyond genius.
He was like I'm sure he was actually a literal genius.
His father,
his grandfather were like very,
very,
very high-end professors,
like actually very,
very,
very clever people.
And he was like beyond beyond clever.
And the way he described it was that he couldn't contain his wisdom.
He was he was so clever that he wasn't able to be normal functioning
in the world.
And he was in a particular ישיבה,
and like nothing was on his level,
like not He was always quicker and faster than everyone,
including the רביים and everything,
everything that was being said.
So he would just get frustrated and frustrated and frustrated and frustrated.
And then eventually he dropped out.
And then he tried to go to some other ישיבה,
which is like a very high-end ישיבה,
but by that time he was already like burned out by He didn't have
patience for like slow building step by step.
He was so quick that he always would jump to conclusions and understandings quickly
and be able to explain things without having had the solid building of having
read everything carefully and built it.
Anyway,
so he ended up on the streets.
And then he ended up like somewhere nearby here,
and he popped in one day.
And he and he was English-speaking,
so someone sent him to me,
and he said to me like,
"I want to see if I can try learning again." So I set him
up with one of the guys,
and and they started learning together.
And it went pretty well.
I mean,
relative to what it was.
And then I had him over for a meal.
And he started crying at the meal.
At the meal,
he started crying.
He said,
"Why did הקדוש ברוך הוא give me a mind that my body can't handle?"
He was so frustrated.
And he ended up not He started doing a degree,
didn't finish it.
He moved back to חוץ לארץ.
He tried to open a business.
As far Last I heard,
he hasn't got married and he's like living by himself,
and like he was never able to like pick himself up.
But when he said that line So I didn't have an answer for him.
That's why I said it's so it remained a story.
But he wasn't able to contain that wisdom in a way to to use
it in a productive manner.
But when he said that,
I didn't say this to him because it wasn't appropriate,
it was it was more appropriate to give empathy at that point,
but when he said that,
I said like that's מסילת ישרים,
right?
That's the מסילת ישרים!
That's what the נשמה is saying all the time!
The נשמה The נשמה is saying like,
"I I want to be close to הקדוש ברוך הוא!
I I have strivings and desires to be doing רצון השם.
Why did You put me in this body,
especially when it's a child,
where the child is immature and the child does Like why did You put
me there?
Like I can't be contained in this world!" And the נשמה is frustrated.
And it's against the will.
Unless unless it must be that with development,
and with the person's maturity,
you're able to answer the נשמה's needs.
You're able to become a being that the נשמה can express itself through,
to the point where you'll be זוכה to fulfill the song end of the
life,
the נשמה will say,
"I don't want to go!
I don't want to go!
I'm in a צדיק!
I'm in a צדיק!
I'm in a צדיק who is using me effectively!
He's using me for תורה ומצוות.
I want to stay here!" יראה בריאתו של אדם למצבו בעולם הבא היא.
It must be that you're not here for your life in this world.
And I don't want to get I don't want to say that you're here
for your life in the next world,
meaning the next world next world.
But even that the name of the next world is very interesting,
no?
עולם הבא.
What does עולם הבא mean?
עולם הזה means this world,
we're here now.
עולם הבא,
is it somewhere else?
Is it somewhere called זה,
and somewhere else called בא?
And when I'm finished being in the זה,
I'll be in the the בא?
The מפרשים explain that the reason why it's called עולם הבא is that you're
making it along the way.
It's still coming.
It doesn't yet exist.
The way that חז״ל describe it is that you're building a palace for yourself.
But you're building that palace right now.
Every מצוה that you do,
every תורה that you learn,
you're currently building.
So when they say that your מצב isn't you're you're that you were designed
not for your situation in this world,
but you were designed for the situation in the next world,
that doesn't mean only you'll get reward eventually.
It means that you have two levels of life.
Now,
I read this beautiful idea,
maybe I shared it already,
but let's talk about the צלם אלקים.
The the אור החיים הקדוש on פרשת בראשית,
he asks,
why does it use a double language?
That it doesn't say בצלם אלקים ברא אותו,
it says a double language of בצלמו,
בצלם אלקים.
What's the בצלמו and the בצלם אלקים?
Why the why the word צלם twice?
Why the double language?
And he says that a person has two levels of existence.
There's בצלמו,
in a person's own image,
and meaning that's his physical existence,
and there's the בצלם אלקים,
that his his נשמה is made to represent Hashem,
to reflect Hashem.
And a person's mission in life is to move from the צלם to the
צלם אלקים.
Now,
you have a צלם,
which is the good nature,
the moral compass,
the taking care of yourself,
it's not a bad thing,
it's more of a base thing.
And then you have a צלם אלקים,
which is the עולם הבא,
which is your רוחניות,
which is your real,
higher purpose.
And your goal is to learn to identify yourself in spiritual terms,
where how you define yourself is like,
what's the will of הקדוש ברוך הוא?
That's what I'm here for.
Not defining myself by how long is my streak that I've gone into this
app every single day,
and it's been now,
ברוך השם,
hundreds of days.
That's not the,
whoa,
I'm the best,
I define myself and my identity is how long I've played this game for.
But rather,
and it's not even a competition,
but rather,
I'm aligning myself with the will of הקדוש ברוך הוא.
That's the צלם אלקים.
That's the עולם הבא.
על כן נתנאה בו נשמה זאת,
כי לא ראוי לעבוד,
ובה יוכל האדם לקבל שכר במקומו ובזמנו,
שלא יהא דבר נמאס על נשמתו בעולם הזה,
אלא אדרבה נאהב ונחמד ממנה,
וזה פשוט.
So if we just pause and summarize to say one line,
you'll notice within yourself that there are certain things you're drawn towards and certain
things you're off-put by.
If you find yourself drawn towards,
let's say for example,
learning Torah,
and let's say a particular ספר,
it doesn't mean it's easy,
it doesn't mean you do it for fun,
but you do it and it gives you a feeling of satisfaction,
it gives you a feeling of meaning,
it gives you a feeling of purpose,
then you know that you're listening to the voice of the נשמה.
Because it's clear that's what the will of Hashem is,
and you're answering that need from a place of,
this is how I'm finding my purpose,
this is what gives me meaning.
And if when you're told,
go learn,
you hear it more as an external voice,
you need to learn,
and you have a sense of repulsion,
like,
ugh,
again,
it's heavy,
it's annoying,
why do I have to do it,
then right now you're rejecting the voice of the נשמה,
or at least that aspect of it.
You're saying,
I'm not interested in that.
I'm looking for relief.
I'm looking for a way out.
It's interesting just to note what gives you a sense of purpose and meaning,
where do you find that,
and what gives you a sense of burden,
tension.
It could be that you find them both in עבודת השם in different areas.
It could be that beforehand,
ahead of time,
you feel the tension and the burden,
and then afterwards you feel the great sense of satisfaction.
But just start paying attention to that inner voice.
Where is that inner voice?
Because that's your inner world.
And when you learn to be attuned to your inner world,
then you can start working.
It's false for a person to say,
I'm working on myself,
but they don't know where they're holding.
When you have an identity of I know where I'm holding,
I know where I'm drawn towards עבודת השם and I sense what I'm repulsed
by עבודת השם,
when you have that inner awareness of the direction you're being pulled in,
then you can start be either be satisfied and be gracious,
great grateful,
or you can say,
okay,
this is an area that right now needs work,
but at least to be paying attention.
So that's what I'm asking,
taking out away from this מסילת ישרים.
The נשמה is calling all the time.
You're either attentive or you're distracting yourself in order to not have to hear
that voice.
Just start paying attention,
all areas of דאווענען,
learning,
doing מצות,
is that something which you feel satisfied,
purposeful,
meaningful,
grateful?
Is that the direction that you're heading right now overall?
Again,
there's ups and downs,
but overall,
is that the direction?
Or do you feel burden,
tension?
And just by paying attention to that,
already you're on the right path.
Because already you're aware of your inner world,
your inner,
tuning into the נשמה's voice,
and then you can begin,
start working and refining it.
אשרינו מה טוב חלקנו that we're here,
learning these topics,
taking care of our inner world.
We should זוכה to see it play out in the real world and have
that sense of closeness to הקדוש ברוך הוא.
יישר כח.