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Showing Up Anyway is a podcast about unlearning diet culture, redefining health, and making peace with food, movement, and your body -- without needing to have it all together. Hosted by Coach Adam Wright, an anti diet-culture personal trainer and body-trust educator, each episode dives into the imperfect side of wellness and how to navigate motivation burnout, body image struggles, emotional eating and the pressure to be "healthy". This is your reminder that progress doesn't need to be perfect, and you'll still see progress as long as you show up anyway.
Welcome to Showing Up Anyway,
the podcast for people
who are not perfect.
On this show,
we talk about intuitive eating,
fitness without obsession
and healing your relationship
with food and your body.
Hello, everybody.
Welcome back to Showing Up Anyway.
I'm so glad you're here with me,
and I thought I would
start this week
by asking you a question -
if weight loss was not
a guarantee on this journey,
would you still want to do it?
Would you still bother
exercising and eating well,
and prioritizing sleep
and working on your relationship
with food and all that stuff
if the number on
the scale might not change?
That question got asked
in my group training call
that I host with
all of my clients each week,
and I thought it would really make
the perfect topic for today.
We were talking about
weekly challenges,
and one client said they
were nervous about moving away
from strict calorie counting towards
a more intuitive eating approach.
She said, "I'm really struggling
"with still wanting
the scale to move."
And so I asked, "Well, first of all,
why are you weighing yourself?
"Why is that number important
to you?" And she said,
"Well, because people ask me -
my parents, my doctors."
And then she elaborated and said,
"I'm trying not to count calories
"and I'm just trying
to listen to my body,
"but how do you trust yourself
that you're going to do things
"the right way
and not put on weight?"
And before I tell you my response,
let me just say this -
it is not unusual for
weight loss to slow down
when you stop restricting
your calories as much
and start eating more intuitively,
okay?
Your priority here is to build
a healthier relationship with food,
and often that
means eating enough,
maybe more than
you had been before,
um, honoring your hunger
and letting go of rigid rules.
Sometimes, because we're still
reducing the amount of times
that you overeat
and things like that,
it can lead to weight loss,
but it's almost never going to
happen as quickly as it would
as if you were strictly
counting calories, okay?
That's just how it works.
So, anyway, I responded
by asking her
about the things that have changed.
I asked, "Are you still
binge eating often?"
She said, "No."
I said, "Are you spending
most days sitting
"and inactive like you used to?"
She said, "No."
I said, "Is your relationship
with food
"better than it was a year ago?"
She said, "Yeah."
And so I told her, you
are doing things right.
And as we continued
talking about it,
it became pretty clear
that she has a hard time,
as a lot of people do, with being
happy about her results
if weight loss isn't part of
that equation.
And, hey, listen, I get that,
I totally do.
We live in a world that says
if you don't look like Barbie
or Ken, you're not good enough.
Society constantly is
glamorizing thinness
and demonizes not just obesity,
but even midsize bodies.
And it might be pressure
from parents, friends,
doctors, from social media,
movies, TV, I don't know,
but I do know that losing weight
does not automatically
make you happy.
You think it will,
but I've been there
and I know others who have too
and I promise that if you don't do
the hard mental work
to start loving yourself now
and along this journey,
you're just going to find
new things to pick apart.
If losing weight meant
that you immediately
started loving everything about you
and meant that other people love you
more too, well, then, damn,
I wouldn't even bother with this
relationship with food nonsense
because your happiness
is my priority.
But it's not that easy.
And what I told this client was the
solution to being happy in your body
is learning to be fucking happy.
It's not changing it in
the hopes of being accepted
or loved or noticed,
it's learning to be comfortable
and confident in your own skin,
no matter what that skin looks
like at that present moment.
Now, let's talk about the
title of this episode, okay?
Because I chose it thinking
that some of you would
hear what I'm saying,
the message of this
episode and think,
"Well, if I'm not gonna lose weight,
why the hell am I doing all this?
"Why am I exercising and
trying to change my eating habits
"and building a
better relationship with food
"and movement and making
sleep a priority,
"and drinking water and all this
healthy stuff that's hard - why?! -
"if weight loss might not even
happen. What's it all for?"
It's for you.
It's because if you zoom out
and look at the big picture,
this journey is about
so much more than
a number on a scale.
It's about more than tracking
calories every single day.
It's about more than fitting
into a smaller pair of pants.
It's about building
a better quality of life
and a body that
you feel comfortable in,
even when the scale doesn't
do what you want it to do.
We've already done a whole episode
on non-scale victories,
so I don't need to go over
that again.
Go listen to that episode
if you want to learn about
ways that your body
and your life can be changing
outside of just weight loss.
But if you are frustrated
with where you're at right now
and you've had a hard
time seeing any change,
even though you've been
working on this for a while,
I want you to ask yourself
if you would change places
with the person that
you were three months,
six months, three years ago
when you first started.
If you wouldn't, then
you've been making progress.
The habits that you're building
are not going to change
your life overnight, okay?
It can be painfully slow
and, at times,
feel like nothing
is happening at all,
but if you keep going,
one day it will dawn on you
that your entire life
feels different.
Not just because your weight
changed,
but because you treated yourself
differently day after day
and those small changes,
those atomic habits compound.
They're the reason that you're
going to feel clearer
and brighter and stronger,
why your body can say
yes to doing more of
the things that it loves to do,
why your mind can say
yes to peace and self-love.
All of that is the payoff.
So, if the scale doesn't create
happiness, what does?
I suppose it's a little bit
different for everybody,
but I think there's a good
argument that it is built
in the daily choices
and the mindset shifts
that create the life that
you actually want to live,
and there are a few pillars that I
think happiness is built on, okay?
Self-respect is at the
top of that list.
For example, um, when you
keep promises to yourself
and you speak kindly to yourself
when you make a mistake.
Erm, self-respect means walking
away from situations
or people that diminish you.
It's the choice to remove
yourself from environments
where you feel unseen
or disrespected
or pressured to shrink who you are,
physically or emotionally.
It's honoring your worth
by refusing to settle for less.
The second one that came to mind is
the stability of consistent
routines and habits.
I know I talk about this so fucking
much, but it's true, okay?
Balanced meals,
movement that you enjoy,
set times for rest.
It takes the guesswork
out of self-care,
which is something that we
usually struggle with anyway.
When you have an established
set of routines and habits,
you're not constantly
negotiating with yourself on
whether or not you
should do something
that makes you feel good, okay?
They simply are part of
the flow of your day.
It makes everything much easier.
Another one is
well-placed boundaries.
Boundaries protect your time,
your energy, your mental space.
They can be as simple as
saying no to extra commitment
when you're already
stretched too thin,
um, stepping away from
diet-focussed conversations,
it's closing your laptop and saying
those work e-mails can wait
so that you can give
yourself space to recover
because you know that rest
is what allows you
to show up fully tomorrow.
And these are just a few,
I'm sure you can think
of a lot of other
universal contributors
to happiness -
strong, meaningful connections,
belonging and support,
a sense of purpose,
time in nature,
making space for play -
the list goes on.
But, in order to
keep these values alive,
it helps to anchor your day
with a few simple self checks.
I want you to ask yourself
four questions.
Today, did I eat in a way
that supports the life
that I want to live?
Did I move in a way that felt
good for my body and my mood?
Did I rest when I needed it?
And did I speak to
myself with respect?
These questions are really effective
because they are things
that are almost always
completely within your control,
and I hope that they can
help you shift your focus
from chasing a number to building
a life that is grounded in care,
because that care for
your body, for your self,
has the power to transform
your experience in this life,
whether your weight changes or not.
But this is where it gets tricky,
because even when we know that
these changes are valuable,
outside voices make us
doubt that they're enough.
So, I'll remind you,
as one of those outside voices
that you like to listen to,
I hope...
(ADAM LAUGHS)
..that these habits you're building
are not consolation prizes,
they are the foundation of feeling
better and living longer.
Ask any diabetic if
they'd rather be thin with diabetes
or the same weight without it,
and most would probably
choose health.
Ask someone with chronic joint pain
if they would rather be pain-free,
or wear a smaller clothing size.
They'll probably choose
to be pain-free.
Ask someone with chronic
fatigue if they would rather
have more energy or weigh less,
and most are probably
going to choose energy.
The good news is, in most cases,
you don't have to choose
one or the other.
The same daily actions
that protect your health -
eating regular balanced meals,
moving your body in ways
that feels good,
getting enough rest,
managing stress,
speaking to yourself
with kindness
can also support
physical changes over time,
it is possible to lose weight
without improving your relationship
or building those other habits,
okay?
But you're not going to get
those deeper benefits.
But on the flip side, if you
focus on those habits first,
then you get all
those deeper benefits
and weight change can also happen,
but it becomes an added bonus
rather than the whole point.
When you build these
kinds of habits,
you are anchoring your health into
something that is steady and real.
Weight change might also
happen or it might not
but, either way, you have
now created a life
where your body says yes
to more of what you love,
and your mind says
yes to more peace
and, personally, I'd take
that ten out of ten times.
There will always be people telling
us how we should look
and what we should be doing,
and it's hard to deal with that,
especially when those voices
are coming from people
who are supposed to love and
accept us, no matter what, okay?
I know the pressure
of wanting desperately
to change what you look like,
but the kind of acceptance and peace
that you're searching for
does not start with the scale.
I'm sure you've probably
experienced it,
even when you lose weight,
it's never enough
for some people, right?
No, the acceptance and peace
that you're searching for
is in the small choices
that you make every single day.
It's how you eat,
how you move, how you rest,
how you speak to yourself,
even when no-one else is around.
You don't need their
approval to be happy.
And, in fact, your happiness is
going to feel a lot more real,
a lot more steady when
it's built on your own terms.
I hope this far into the podcast,
I've convinced you that taking care
of yourself is not selfish, right?
We can agree that it's not
a luxury, it's a need.
Well, self-acceptance
works the same way.
If your worth
is tied to a number,
a number that
fluctuates day to day,
then your sense of worth,
your sense of value is
going to do the same thing.
It should not go up and down
as frequently as the scale does.
How are you going to ever truly be
happy if that's the case?
When you decide that
your wellbeing matters,
no matter what the scale says,
you stop walking
that fucking tightrope.
And, my God, when you step off that,
what a sense of relief you feel.
That's where you're going
to find real happiness.
Now, if you heard all that
and you STILL want to lose weight,
that's okay, okay?
(ADAM LAUGHS)
I'm not trying to dissuade
you from that - really.
If we're being honest,
the harsh reality is
that the society we live in
is not built for fat bodies.
That's a conversation
we probably should have
in another episode, okay?
We can talk a lot about that.
But everything is harder
when you're fat -
traveling, entertainment,
medical care,
clothes shopping, social spaces,
work environments.
So many things are
not size inclusive
and that's really unfortunate.
But some of you are doing this
because you want to
improve your health.
And there is research that shows
that even modest weight changes
can improve certain health markers,
like lowering your blood pressure,
cholesterol levels,
improving blood sugar control,
easing joint pain,
lowering risk of things
like sleep apnoea.
Taking on this journey
because you want to lose weight
does not make you less committed
or less authentic
than someone who's just doing this
because they really want
to make better habits, okay?
All that I want you
to take away from this
is that weight loss
doesn't need to be
the most important
and the only goal.
I just thought about something that
I tell probably every person
that I talk to about
training at this point,
and that is that there are really
two strong, extreme beliefs
on a wellness journey
like this, okay?
And one is don't even try to
change anything about your body,
you are perfectly fine just
the way that you are,
you should accept everything and
never want to make a change.
And the other is you should do
whatever it takes to lose weight,
no matter the cost.
I think that we can
find a happy medium,
a place where we can want
to make some changes,
we can also learn to
love ourselves along the way.
Here's what I want you
to remember, okay?
The purpose of this is to create
a life that feels good to live.
One where you have the energy
to get through the day with ease,
to have a body that can carry
you through the things
that you love without
holding you back,
where your mind feels calmer
and more resilient
and less critical,
and a mindset where you
feel, at a minimum, neutral
but, at some point, maybe
even positive about your body.
When you care for
yourself consistently,
you build a foundation
that will serve you
no matter what the scale says.
Keep showing up.
Keep making choices that
honor your body and mind.
Keep doing the work that makes
your life feel more like yours.
That is the point.
That is what it's all for.
Thank you for tuning in to this
episode of Showing Up Anyway.
You can find it for free on Spotify
or wherever you get your podcasts.
And wherever you're listening,
if you like the show,
I'd love it if you gave
me a five-star review,
because that does help
other people find the show,
and hopefully it will
help change their life,
just like you're looking
to change yours.
If you're listening
on Spotify, though,
you can follow me
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when new episodes come out.
I'm Coach Adam. Remember -
when things get challenging,
keep showing up anyway.