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Everyone’s triggered by something — but what happens when you stay that way? In this crossover episode of Men of Faith and Project Sisterhood, Caleb and Chrissy Cole get real about offense: how it creeps in, how it poisons your peace, and how forgiveness is the only way to freedom. They talk about marriage fights (yes, real ones 😅), faith, pride, and why the Bible calls overlooking offense a glory. Whether it’s your spouse, your boss, or someone online — this conversation will help you learn to laugh again, let go, and live unoffended. What You’ll Learn: ⚡ Why offense always starts with pride 💬 The difference between reacting and responding 🧠 How to guard your heart when you’ve been hurt 🙌 Why forgiveness is the only path to real peace Don’t just stay triggered — try forgiveness.
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If this episode encouraged you, share it with a friend and leave a review — it helps more women find Project Sisterhood 💛
🎧 Listen to Project Sisterhood:
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/12Mzxkt8WDImuZJpu90b7N?si=a5208fcedd2c44f7
📲 Follow Project Sisterhood on Instagram:
Instagram: @projectsisterhood
⛪️ Project Church:
Website: https://projectchurch.com
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Creators and Guests
Host
Chrissy Cole
Chrissy’s parents moved to the U.S. from the Philippines in the late 70′s. She saw her parents both come to know the Lord at a young age. She and her family poured their lives into the local church and were changed by God. Chrissy attended Evangel University in Springfield, MO and earned a B.A. in Communications with an emphasis in Public Relations.
Guest
Caleb Cole
Caleb, a Sacramento native, grew up in a pastor’s home and is a third generation minister. At the age of 12, after one of his grandfather’s sermons, he felt a call from God to be a pastor. He consistently pursued that call throughout high school and college. Caleb attended Central Bible College in Springfield, MO where he earned a B.A. in Biblical Studies and went on to the Assemblies of God Theological Seminary where he earned an M.A. in Theological Studies.
What is Project Sisterhood?
Project Sisterhood is a podcast for women who want to grow in faith, find healthy community, and become who God created them to be.
Hosted by Chrissy Cole and the Project Church Sisterhood team, each episode brings honest conversations and biblical encouragement centered on identity, belonging, spiritual maturity, healing, relationships, and purpose.
With a mix of humor, vulnerability, and real-life wisdom, Project Sisterhood creates space for women in every age and stage to feel seen, strengthened, and connected—because you were never meant to do life alone.
00;00;00;02 - 00;00;03;22
Speaker 1
So when I take a pump out of an aggressive, you know, you have a fence. Is that what you're saying?
00;00;03;29 - 00;00;21;28
Speaker 2
Yes. And even though it's, it feels offensive, like on the offense. Okay. That's what I mean. What it's like when I'm on the offense, when I'm aggressive. And then I think when it comes to you, your offense and correct me if I'm wrong, I think it looks more defensive.
00;00;22;00 - 00;00;24;01
Speaker 1
So defensive. I can see that.
00;00;24;01 - 00;00;24;22
Speaker 2
You know what I'm saying?
00;00;24;28 - 00;00;34;29
Speaker 1
Yeah, yeah. Yeah. My favorite thing to do to Christi, if you guys don't know, is I've never done on the podcast, but when she's saying something I don't like, I just go, yeah, yeah.
00;00;35;01 - 00;00;37;27
Speaker 2
I think you just lost all the sister hit podcast listeners.
00;00;37;27 - 00;00;57;24
Speaker 1
You're listening to men of Faith, the podcast dedicated to calling men up and not out. Join me as we live a life dedicated to our God.
00;00;57;27 - 00;01;23;11
Speaker 2
This is a project sisterhood podcast for all things women. Whether you for a purpose, for ministry, motherhood, or the marketplace, we have crucial and genuine conversations that transcend your season yet impact your true identity as a woman. From light hearted and laughable to honest, deep matters of the heart, your soul will be encouraged. We hope you and all women of every age and every stage, find life and freedom in Jesus.
00;01;23;14 - 00;01;27;21
Speaker 1
All right. Welcome back to the men of Faith podcast.
00;01;27;21 - 00;01;30;12
Speaker 2
And the Project Sisterhood Broadcast.
00;01;30;14 - 00;01;49;09
Speaker 1
That's right. This is another crossover episode with Christy and I back together. It's been a few months since we did one together, and so we figured, why not? And let's talk about a topic that I think many people deal with, and that is the topic of offense.
00;01;49;11 - 00;02;04;23
Speaker 2
Yeah, I think this is a great topic. You know, seeing as how we're married and we work together, we parent together, we do everything together, and we're very competitive. We play sports together and we never deal with offense. Stewie.
00;02;04;26 - 00;02;09;23
Speaker 1
Yeah, for sure. I mean, who do you think deals with that more? Oh, me? Are you.
00;02;09;26 - 00;02;10;28
Speaker 2
God.
00;02;11;01 - 00;02;14;12
Speaker 1
No. I'm genuinely asking.
00;02;14;14 - 00;02;32;09
Speaker 2
I think that. Okay, if I look at the different ways that people are offended and the way they it manifests. Yeah, yeah. When I look at myself, I think that my offense, is I can identify it when it's a bit combative.
00;02;32;11 - 00;02;33;00
Speaker 1
Okay.
00;02;33;03 - 00;02;39;19
Speaker 2
And when it's aggressive, okay, aggressive and getting my point across. And it's again rooted in pride.
00;02;39;21 - 00;02;43;21
Speaker 1
So when I think about how bad of an aggressive you know you have a is that you're saying that.
00;02;43;21 - 00;03;01;22
Speaker 2
Yes. And even though it's it feels offensive like on the offense okay. That's what I mean. What it's like when I'm on the offense, when I'm aggressive. And then I think when it comes to you, your offense and correct me if I'm wrong, I think it looks more defensive.
00;03;01;24 - 00;03;03;25
Speaker 1
So defensive. I can see that.
00;03;03;25 - 00;03;04;16
Speaker 2
You know what I'm saying?
00;03;04;22 - 00;03;14;23
Speaker 1
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Our favorite thing to do to Christie, if you guys don't know, is I've never done on the podcast. But when she's saying something I don't like, I just go, yeah, yeah.
00;03;14;25 - 00;03;18;06
Speaker 2
I think you just lost all the sister hit podcast listeners.
00;03;18;08 - 00;03;20;11
Speaker 1
It's terrible. But I do it as a joke.
00;03;20;12 - 00;03;21;26
Speaker 2
Yeah. And he knows it.
00;03;21;28 - 00;03;25;05
Speaker 1
And she laughs every time. And it it usually diffuses.
00;03;25;06 - 00;03;34;13
Speaker 2
It really does. And this is a sign for married couples or even coworkers. If you can still laugh in the middle of a fence, you're on a good track.
00;03;34;13 - 00;03;36;22
Speaker 1
Yeah. Or just in a in the middle of conflict.
00;03;36;23 - 00;03;41;18
Speaker 2
If you can't take your if you can not take yourself seriously, that's that's a good sign.
00;03;41;20 - 00;04;08;14
Speaker 1
I mean, if we're giving tips on how to manage your offense because let's be real, we all get offended. We deal with offense probably every day. And whether it be micro or macro, major or small. And so I do think there's some practical ways that we can battle, the natural inclination to be offended. Yeah. And to walk around with offense in our hearts and our spirits, which is not a healthy way to live.
00;04;08;15 - 00;04;13;22
Speaker 1
Yeah. And so one of them is great. That's a great first one is don't take yourself too seriously.
00;04;13;23 - 00;04;22;02
Speaker 2
Oh, yeah. You know, one person I'm very thankful for in my life is my brother in law, Matt Simpson. Shout out to Matt Simpson, Kaya.
00;04;22;05 - 00;04;24;13
Speaker 1
My shadow.
00;04;24;16 - 00;04;44;28
Speaker 2
It's all Filipino terms. We won't give all the context. But anyways, my brother in law, he's been in my life since I was 18 years old. He started dating my sister and I come from a family where there's four girls, and I think we're a little bit sensitive. My dad is just a really warm, sensitive guy, and he really is very nurturing.
00;04;45;01 - 00;05;05;05
Speaker 2
And so I think we were all a little sensitive. So when he came into my sister's life as a boyfriend. Oh, man. We weren't sure what to do with his East Coast sarcasm. And I realized he was brought into our family, perhaps to have all four of us grow a little thicker skin. So.
00;05;05;11 - 00;05;06;22
Speaker 1
So there's a little teasing.
00;05;06;22 - 00;05;24;24
Speaker 2
There's a little teasing if you're not used to it. Yeah. And if you do get teased and you get offended that quickly, there's a really good chance that you're, easily offended. Perhaps there's bitterness, self, insecurities that are coming out. And I, I realize that because my brother in law.
00;05;24;27 - 00;05;43;28
Speaker 1
Yeah, I mean, obviously we want our words to be life giving, but I do think that there's something playful about teasing that couples have. I know I had with my siblings, and there is a line you can cross and it becomes hurtful. But, I do think when we don't take ourselves that seriously, people can tease us.
00;05;44;00 - 00;06;08;19
Speaker 1
It lighten the mood. It's a it's even a way of connection. And there's all this research, research that's been done about this with guys and how they connect, while making fun of each other, ribbing each other, giving each other hard time and how it actually bonds them deeper. Well, yeah, let's let's dig into this idea of offense and, maybe even scripturally, because I think that there are some scriptures that really help us to understand.
00;06;08;21 - 00;06;30;23
Speaker 1
All right, how do we manage when we feel offended or what should be our mindset as it relates to when people wrong us? Yeah. Hurt us. Right. How do we walk through those circumstances and situations without holding on to something? I guess you could say, because offense is, I believe, something that we have to guard our hearts from.
00;06;30;23 - 00;06;56;22
Speaker 1
And so here's what Proverbs 1911 says. It says a person's wisdom yields patience. It is to one's glory to overlook an offense. So actual true strength, isn't, reacting, it's rising above whatever's been done, whatever has been said. And so I love that Proverbs actually says like this is to one's glory, that you can overlook an offense.
00;06;56;22 - 00;07;14;27
Speaker 1
Yeah. So it doesn't mean there wasn't offense. Yeah. It doesn't mean that there wasn't hurtful things said or done towards you. Yeah. But you actually in overlooking it there is a glory that comes. It doesn't mean you don't address it. It doesn't mean you don't have a conversation about it. But what it means is you don't carry it right.
00;07;14;27 - 00;07;36;11
Speaker 1
You're not walking around with an offense in your heart, on your shoulders, on your mind towards a person. And I think that this is rare today, and it's something that biblically, we're actually challenged to do. And then Proverbs 423, above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. So we know that offense starts as a seed in the heart, right?
00;07;36;11 - 00;07;59;01
Speaker 1
It starts. There's something planted in the heart. So we have to guard our heart before it grows. So what have you seen that works in guarding your heart and overlooking an offense? Like I think that's easy to say, but not always easy to do so that it doesn't grow into something greater. And, and because offense can very quickly become toxic and it's something that we carry around.
00;07;59;03 - 00;08;23;05
Speaker 2
Yeah. Well, I there's a song that pops into my mind, Sarah Gross. It's a lyric that says, I will not let that bitterroot grow in me. I will not let it leave that legacy. And so I don't know if this is probably a bigger thought than guarding my heart, but I do have to start thinking about, like, what I'm carrying to the next generation.
00;08;23;07 - 00;08;48;01
Speaker 2
So I think when I am others focused, when I'm my kids focus, when I'm thinking about the might are church focus. I'm I'm focused on the people around me and not on myself. Then I'm thinking about what legacy I'm leaving and what impact I'm making on people around me, rather than how I'm being impacted. So I think that the first way to guard your heart is to be others.
00;08;48;01 - 00;09;00;10
Speaker 2
Focus. I'm actually wearing a bracelet right now, and there's this thing called Kanika that I was a, pretty popular, camp that was in the Midwest and also in Colorado. And you.
00;09;00;10 - 00;09;00;27
Speaker 1
Were a counselor.
00;09;00;27 - 00;09;23;23
Speaker 2
And I was a counselor, and we said that I am third, the statement I am third, others are God first, others second, myself third. Guarding your heart starts with looking outside of your heart and making sure I feel like you're almost like building a fence. You're building a doorway around your heart. So I think others focus needs to be the start, but also rooting yourself in the Word of God, rooting yourself in truth.
00;09;23;23 - 00;09;39;21
Speaker 2
And who does God say I am? Do I care more about what God says I am and who God says I am, than what other people have called me, and what other people and how they view me and what their perception is of me. Yeah, so rooted in God's Word. Others focus. Those are pretty staple, I would say.
00;09;39;24 - 00;10;06;16
Speaker 1
Yeah. And it sounds like ultimately, I think along those same lines is when you are hurt, someone does something to you. It always comes back to forgiveness. And I think the the way to avoid offense first and foremost is that you forgive. Right. And we know over and over, you know, Jesus talks about forgiveness. And as he teaches the disciples, as he teaches those who are following him.
00;10;06;18 - 00;10;29;24
Speaker 1
And you know, when they ask him, well, how many times do we need to forgive? He says, 70 times seven. This was this, hyperbolic number, you know, which we know is actually 490. But he was really implying you keep forgiving, you know, it's like an unending number of times. Doesn't mean you forget. It doesn't mean you allow people to wound you or be in your life if they're toxic and tearing you down.
00;10;29;26 - 00;10;50;21
Speaker 1
But it means that you have to. You have a responsibility to forgive. And he actually says you will not be forgiven if you don't forgive. Colossians 313 talks about this I were to bear with bear one another's burdens and to forgive each other. Yeah. Just as our father has forgiven us. Just says we've been forgiven. So we've been forgiven much.
00;10;50;21 - 00;11;12;16
Speaker 1
We must in turn forgive much and continue to forgive. Even when people heard us say things that are offensive to us. And there's an offense that grows in our heart for a moment. But forgiveness is what releases it. Like I'm letting it go. I'm I'm I may need to let you know that you hurt me. Or that what you did was offensive to me, but I'm not going to hold on to that offense.
00;11;12;16 - 00;11;27;17
Speaker 1
I'm going to forgive and I'm going to let it go. And that's how we don't walk around with the spirit of offense. And I think that that's the issue in our culture. It's not that people are getting offended like sometimes we can't avoid that. Like the offense. We feel it.
00;11;27;20 - 00;11;28;12
Speaker 2
Oh, it's inevitable.
00;11;28;12 - 00;11;50;13
Speaker 1
It's that we're carrying it and we don't let go of it. And then it becomes part of our identity. And then we see people only through a lens of offense, which is such a dangerous space and place to be. And it's why Proverbs tells us like it's a glory to someone if they can overlook the offense, right? Because it's what it the offense and carrying it and holding on to it, what it does to our hearts and our spirit.
00;11;50;19 - 00;12;07;06
Speaker 2
Right. I do think to when we are dealing with the potential bitterness in our heart. And again, I still have that image of something taking root in your heart with something. If an offense takes root in your heart, then bitterness grows that seed that you're talking about. Yeah. So I do think that the key is to forgive quickly.
00;12;07;08 - 00;12;37;16
Speaker 2
Forgive quickly. But I don't want to forgive so quickly that you don't think about why you were wounded. Because I think that there have been different offenses in my life where in a previous season, something hurt me, but in another season it wouldn't hurt me as bad. So I have to think about if something hurt me as quickly or as deeply and I couldn't let it go, I might have to examine what's going on in my heart a little bit more, so that I can address the wound accurately.
00;12;37;16 - 00;12;56;18
Speaker 2
Our son, he just, hurt himself yesterday. We're not sure. We haven't taken him to. We're about to take him to urgent care. We don't know if it's a break. A fracture, a sprain. Now, if we were just to say, I'll just. I'll just. We'll just wrap it real quick, go to school and walk on it like that.
00;12;56;20 - 00;13;04;26
Speaker 2
If we forgive too, too quickly to the point where we don't examine our. I mean, we have to forgive quickly, but if we slap on the right.
00;13;04;26 - 00;13;05;12
Speaker 1
We should still.
00;13;05;12 - 00;13;27;22
Speaker 2
Very quickly. We should forgive quickly. But if we don't address and address it. Yeah. Because I think sometimes we forgive so quickly that we deny our feelings and we deny that somebody did us wrong. So then they they just glaze that person over and don't protect themselves in the future. Because what you're saying is if somebody hurts me, then I need to know why that hurt me.
00;13;27;22 - 00;13;53;09
Speaker 2
I need to know why that person hurt me, and I need to know if that person is safe moving forward. I can still forgive them, but I need to know how to put up boundaries and I need to know again. I think the big thing is like, why am I so offended and examine my heart? And I think that we're so quick to react and not quick to respond and response requires, really acknowledging the truth of the situation.
00;13;53;09 - 00;13;53;29
Speaker 2
Does that make sense?
00;13;53;29 - 00;13;54;12
Speaker 1
It does.
00;13;54;13 - 00;13;54;24
Speaker 2
Yeah.
00;13;55;01 - 00;13;57;26
Speaker 1
Yeah. I just think we're living a offended generation.
00;13;57;29 - 00;13;58;09
Speaker 2
Yeah.
00;13;58;10 - 00;14;24;03
Speaker 1
And the issue isn't that offense happens. It's that we live our lives offended. Yeah. And we carry offense into every conversation to every space, into every topic. And so we're just walking around wounded, offended, and then we wonder why we don't have any peace. We don't have any joy. We have a hard time with connection with people.
00;14;24;03 - 00;14;41;13
Speaker 1
Yeah. It's because you're seeing the world and seeing people through the lens of a fence. A fence. A lot of people are actually looking to be offended, like it's become a part of their, their identity. So it's waiting for you to say something wrong. Yeah. And then they can hold that against you. And it's just not a godly way to live.
00;14;41;16 - 00;15;11;23
Speaker 1
Nor is it a healthy, like, life giving way to live. I just think God wants us free. He wants us joyful. He wants us connected to the right people. And so we do need to use wisdom. But I think ultimately it comes down to pride. Just to be honest. Yeah, I think the the reason we are such an offended people and offense happens so quickly and we can't let go of it, is because we're prideful and we make everything about us, we're the center of the universe.
00;15;11;26 - 00;15;38;12
Speaker 1
It's about what how how my life can be the best and not how I can actually love and serve others and actually think was thinking about James chapter one, verse 1920 that talks about how we need to be slow to speak, quick to listen, and slow to become angry. Yeah. And it goes on, it says, for anger does not produce the righteousness of the people of God.
00;15;38;14 - 00;15;57;28
Speaker 1
And so this idea that, like, I think we've taken it as a part of our identity, that like, I'm going to call out the injustices, I'm going to call out, you know, I have a righteous indignation. And, you know, sometimes that's healthy. But I think more often people, they don't listen.
00;15;58;03 - 00;15;58;20
Speaker 2
Yeah.
00;15;58;23 - 00;16;00;02
Speaker 1
They speak quickly.
00;16;00;02 - 00;16;00;18
Speaker 2
Right.
00;16;00;21 - 00;16;23;21
Speaker 1
And then they want to be angry because they want to then impose their will or their belief system on someone else. And when they're angry, they have the fuel they need to then put people into their place. And it's pride and, and I think that, a lot of our offense and why we walk with offense and carry offense, why we're so easily offended is because we're prideful.
00;16;23;21 - 00;16;35;04
Speaker 1
We want to be right all the time. We like being angry and we don't listen. And we need to to listen. We need to be quick to listen and actually slow to speak. Slow to become angry.
00;16;35;10 - 00;17;02;07
Speaker 2
That that comment you made about liking being angry, I think it's more liking being right. Well, that's, you know, and then it manifests, I think, as anger. And I think we have to be careful when we are. So feelings, emotion lead that we don't give our emotions to the Lord and allow him to purify them, cleanse them of unrighteousness, which forgiveness does.
00;17;02;09 - 00;17;28;03
Speaker 2
How ask him to cleanse our emotions. Because if we're being honest and if we understand that one of the enemies of our souls is our flesh, the enemy himself and this world, we are so in a toxic environment at all times. Yeah, between our flesh, Satan himself, and the world. And if we don't allow our emotions to be cleansed, we're walking in what we think is righteous indignation.
00;17;28;03 - 00;17;31;19
Speaker 2
But it's really just your flesh. You're you're just angry flesh.
00;17;31;23 - 00;17;32;07
Speaker 1
Right?
00;17;32;09 - 00;17;57;22
Speaker 2
And I think there's even our shames, our shame can really motivate us to to mock other people. And, you know, because it's uncomfortable to live with our own shame and acknowledge our own shame. Which is why I'm saying we need to take a moment to pause and respond to our offenses in the way that God, would be pleased in the way that allows him to be invited into cleansing us.
00;17;57;22 - 00;18;28;08
Speaker 2
Before we react, we need to respond, and just take some time. I'm I need to bring up the the current events of this day and how there's just been so many offenses. And I understand where a lot of the fences come between. Let's let's be honest, since 2020, like all the race stuff, all the political stuff, and I do think in 2020, we were so quick to react, we were so quick to post things on social media.
00;18;28;15 - 00;19;05;19
Speaker 2
And then when the Charlie Kirk thing happened, I remember somebody saying, why were we so quick to post in the past and nobody's posting now? And I thought, hey, listen, I think it was actually wiser that we didn't post right away. I think the expectation that people have for you to respond right away, react right away, is more, it's more calling you to react, in your flesh and in fear rather than pausing, thinking before you speak and, giving a God centered response.
00;19;05;19 - 00;19;08;07
Speaker 2
Does that make sense? What I'm trying to say, because I keep thinking.
00;19;08;10 - 00;19;08;21
Speaker 1
Yeah.
00;19;08;24 - 00;19;20;00
Speaker 2
Exactly what you said biblically. Like we have to be slow to speak so that we have, we've just had our emotions in check with the Lord, so I, I didn't I didn't want to bring it, but I did.
00;19;20;02 - 00;19;43;01
Speaker 1
No, no, I think it's fine. I think that there's truth to the offense that's come is because often we speak too quickly. We haven't processed the emotions of of what we're feeling and what's happened and, and all the nuances of it. We haven't processed it and then we're already responding. You know, we're already making our stances.
00;19;43;01 - 00;20;05;00
Speaker 1
We're already, declaring which side we're on or. Yeah, whatever. That's what I saw. Yeah. And ultimately I think it's like, well, we could pause and just mourn for a moment. You know, we could mourn for a season. We don't have to, you know, make our statement of whose side we're on or which political alignment we're with now.
00;20;05;04 - 00;20;05;18
Speaker 2
Right.
00;20;05;21 - 00;20;44;21
Speaker 1
After we watched a horrific public execution. You know, like, it's not normal social media. It's not normal that we have to respond so quickly. It's not normal that we have to see what we're seeing, even like what we're seeing on social media and television. Like it's not normal that we have to do all this. And so I think that bringing it back to offense, I think that the reason we're offended and we're in an offended generation is because we talk and speak before we even think, before we process, before we mourn, before we have conversations.
00;20;44;21 - 00;21;04;08
Speaker 1
Yeah. With someone that's trusted and could maybe you know, give us a different insight. And so I think that's, you know, where I'm at right now when it comes to offense is I've always taken on that because I, I saw we in Proverbs and I was 12 years old. And so that proverb has always been in my head like it's a glory to overlook an offense.
00;21;04;10 - 00;21;22;14
Speaker 1
And I'm like, man, I'm going to be the least affordable person, that I could ever be. And the older I get, I would say the less offended I am. And when someone does offend me, which actually happened recently. I was telling our staff about it the other day. I was very offended by someone in our life.
00;21;22;17 - 00;21;36;10
Speaker 1
And so I was like, you know what? I got to go talk to them, right? Instead of carrying this offense, I forgave them. And I was like, Lord, I, you know, I forgive them, I give it to you, but I needed to talk to them about it. I need to process it with them, be honest about how I felt.
00;21;36;12 - 00;21;56;05
Speaker 1
And it was crazy. There really wasn't any resolve, to be honest. Yep. I don't think that they saw my perspective or felt like they had done anything wrong. And that's fine. Yeah, I was, but just talking to them about it, I felt better. Yeah, I was able to express, hey, here's how I felt, here's how I was hurt, here's what I felt like was done.
00;21;56;07 - 00;22;18;12
Speaker 1
They didn't agree, but I was I let go of all offense because I had a conversation. It was it was healthy. It was honoring. Yeah. They still honored back even if we didn't agree. And ultimately like there was resolve in my heart of my spirit. Yeah. And so that's what forgiveness looks like and that's what not caring a spirit of offense looks like.
00;22;18;12 - 00;22;36;22
Speaker 1
Yeah. It's impossible to be unaffordable. Even though that's a great goal. Yeah. Even though like I said, it's the goal, right? Overlook an offense. I'm never going to be offended. It's not possible because I'm a human being. But ultimately, how quickly I can let go of that offense. Give it to the Lord. Have the conversation that needs to be had.
00;22;36;29 - 00;22;44;01
Speaker 1
Really will dictate the health that I carry in my life, in another relationships, and I want to be healthy, so I'm not going to hold on to offense.
00;22;44;01 - 00;23;09;14
Speaker 2
Yeah, forgiveness really is the doorway to freedom. Offense just binds you up and I'm how? Man, I think the way it manifests in this world is the anger, is the, It's the anger. It's the selfishness. It's the shame. It's the guilt. It's so much of our emotions on the flesh side. So we really need to protect our hearts.
00;23;09;14 - 00;23;37;07
Speaker 2
I was recently offended, too. And same thing. Nothing changed in the relationship where I was offended, but I didn't carry it anymore and it was so interesting. The more I decided to forgive, the more I decided to be open in my communication about how I was offended. It kind of just dissipated. Like the offense just dissipated. And I think it's sometimes our feelings follow our obedience.
00;23;37;07 - 00;24;00;14
Speaker 2
Yeah. And so I think we have to for. Yes. Forgive quickly and and then allow the Lord to do what only he can do. The, the truth of the matter is, we're not setting ourselves free. It's the work of the cross that gives us freedom. So we have to do the right thing and we have to, you know, submit our emotions, submit our feelings to the Lord, and then he'll do again what he can only do.
00;24;00;14 - 00;24;26;05
Speaker 2
And I remember some of the offenses that we experienced were over the summer. And I think I was just telling you, on a date day a couple weeks ago, it was like all of the sudden, those things that really matter to us, those offenses that we were probably holding on to a little too long, they just dissipated. And that's the work of the Holy Spirit, where I can look at people and the people who have offended us and be totally excited for what they're doing.
00;24;26;05 - 00;24;41;25
Speaker 2
Be totally excited that, you know, the season of our relationship has maybe changed. I can be totally happy about that. And, move on. And I think God wants us to move on and to have life and freedom in him.
00;24;41;27 - 00;24;58;24
Speaker 1
Yeah. Well, I think, you know, we could talk about this topic for a long time. But I do think we should give them a call up. At least we do that on the matter of Faith podcast. So, Christy, maybe you could give our guys a call up. My call up would be do your best. Yeah. To overlook offense.
00;24;58;26 - 00;25;14;29
Speaker 1
And when Proverbs talks about this overlooking, I don't think it means you don't address it if it needs to be addressed. You don't have the hard conversations. I think that means I'm not going to carry it. Right, because the weight of that is only going to crush me. It's not going to hurt anyone else. And so I'm letting this go.
00;25;14;29 - 00;25;23;21
Speaker 1
I'm overlooking it. And then my secondary call up is find someone that you know will make fun of you and you're okay, and it makes you laugh.
00;25;23;24 - 00;25;42;29
Speaker 2
I like that, all right. My call up is very similar to what we do on our podcast, which is a book recommendation. Oh. Got it. So The Beat of Satan by John Bavier. Such an excellent, excellent book. And it really dives into offense. We didn't even hit the tip of the iceberg. I don't think in this podcast.
00;25;43;02 - 00;26;10;16
Speaker 2
So, talk about or read about offense and see more examples and illustrations that are biblically rooted in this particular book. And I would still say if I could just get my own forgive quickly, forgives quickly. Be slow to speak, so to speak. I'm just seeing a lots of angry people in this world who I know are just carrying offense and don't know the power that comes from forgiveness.
00;26;10;18 - 00;26;15;03
Speaker 1
That's good. And I don't want to say I'm proud of you. You nailed that idiom. Tip of the iceberg.
00;26;15;07 - 00;26;17;26
Speaker 2
I am always surprised when I get them wrong.
00;26;17;27 - 00;26;25;18
Speaker 1
Oh let's go. You nailed it, Neil. And, I think that's a good way to end it. So, hey, thanks for joining us on the man of Faith podcast.
00;26;25;18 - 00;26;27;22
Speaker 2
And the Project Sisterhood podcast.
00;26;27;25 - 00;26;31;26
Speaker 1
So, hey, have a great week. We'll catch you next time. Grace and peace.