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For over 40 years, Inspirational Media has been a trusted source of sound biblical teaching in New Zealand and beyond. This podcast features powerful sermons and Bible studies from our vast library of over 3,000 messages by more than 300 preachers and pastors worldwide.
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Now many times when we go away for a weekend we find that uh someone who looks extremely saintly who looks as if perhaps they will ascend any minute. Someone who's maybe very prim and has their hair all pulled back. Hasn't got any makeup on. And you could tell now if only I could become emaciated like her. If only I could lose any humor I have and get really spiritual like that. Then maybe there'd be some hope for me. But as you look her over and she recites half the Bible by memory and and can pray in such a way you know you'll never be able to do that, you somehow go home feeling that I'm just never going to make it at all. Well, the good thing about having me here is that you can see you can surpass me with no trouble. See, I'm not that kind of super saint. I've been through a lot of the problems that you've been through. I'm not perfect. I tell my Bible studies that as long as I keep showing up every week know I haven't gotten there yet because when I get perfect, the Lord will take me up. He won't leave me around with you. And so, as long as I keep showing up, you'll know I haven't made it. So, when you listen to what I have to say, you'll know that I'm saying it from a downto-earth point of view, that I'm living every day the same as you are. I know that there are no great perfect solutions to everything. I know we can't take a bottle and a few pills and end up to be wonderful. It just doesn't work that way. That there are a lot of things that we have to do in life every single day to make it. And because of this, what we're trying to share with you this week are practical things, things that are right down to earth where you are today. Things that will show you and expose to you the fact that there are many parts of your life that really haven't got straightened out yet. Many things that need to come out of you and get exposed and get talked about with someone else. Things that we need to open up this weekend as we're here. Some of the pent up emotions and problems that have stirred in us. Recently, I had an experience that led me to think about how much we keep under wraps, how much we hold under, and how much we have within us that sometimes I think we feel emotionally if someone stuck a pin in us that we just kind of blow up or explode or just things would come seething out of us because we've held so much under. I have a friend who in the past six months had had well for years she's had headaches, but in the past six months she has gone for some kind of therapy. And when she got to this particular therapy for her headaches, they found out that the reason she had headaches was because she had set herself up to be the perfect spiritual woman. So she never let any anger show, she never let any displeasure show. She tried to make herself be a perfect person. And as she worked very hard to be this perfect spiritual person over many years, she had held under so many things, had suppressed so many of her feelings. that actually when she got there they found out that these headaches were because of all the things that she'd held under wraps. Now I don't know where you are today but as I began to think about that and as I began to realize that here was a dear friend of mine that I had really thought was close to perfect and the reason that she was having these terrible headaches was because of the things that she bottled up within her. The things that she had said denied existed and wouldn't even let come out. And as I thought about this one day in my own life I was driving somewhere with my husband. He was driving and I was sitting in the car and I began to think about this friend with all these things that she'd held underneath with no one that she'd ever let her heart out to. No one that she'd been she'd been realistic with. And as we drove along, I began to make a list. And without any trouble at all in my own life, and I'm a person who does not feel I have a lot pent up within me, but uh as I was sitting there and writing, without any struggle at all, I wrote down 20 major things. in my life that I'd never really gotten out of me. And as I thought about this, I thought now if I who I'm fairly out with things have got a lot stored up in me that I've never really shared with anybody because I didn't want anybody to know that that I ever had this thought or that I ever had this problem and that it never had come out. As I thought about this, I thought how many women there probably are in life among you here today who really have got a lot of hostility, a lot of anger, a lot of disturbance, a lot of hopelessness, a lot of osity towards someone else that has never really gotten dealt with. And what we want to do this weekend is is not have a time where everybody's throwing all their emotions out on the floor, but where you're beginning to think and deal with the really hard problems that are within you, trying to pull out of you, what is it that is keeping that little black cloud floating along with me? What is it that keeps me from really being the wife that I want to be? What is it that keeps me from being the right kind of a mother? What is it that keeps me from having God be able to deal with me in a personal way? What are the things that I'm holding under and that I'm suppressing? And as we spend time together this weekend, we're first going to begin to look at ourselves because it's always easy to say, "If only my husband were different, I could be a spiritual giant. If only my children were respectful and grateful, I could be a marvelous mother. If If only everything in life went the way I have it programmed out to be, I know I could be happy. Now, this is very easy for all of us to think. And we always want to shape up the other person. Now, I know this from experience. Not only in my own life, I thought if only Fred could be fun and light like me, this whole marriage could take on a better tone. Now, all the time Fred was saying and actually went to my abst ones had and told him this, "If only we could shape up Florence." Now, what could we do with her? He went and asked the man, "What can you and I do with her to get her pulled together? What can we do to shape up Florence?" And see, it's innate within each one of us. That's our basic self-centered sin nature. It's innate within each one of us that we want to shape up the other person so that we can be happy. Now, how many of you know at least one person in life that you really could shape up if they'd listen to you. I mean, how many know at least one? Now, you see, within us is the heart of an amateur psychiatrist. We all know how to deal with those other people. We all know how to straighten them out. We know how to make a program for them that if they would follow it, everything in this whole family would be better. Some of us know how to shape up the whole world if we were given the opportunity. And this is so easy for us to see. I mean, I have what my mother used to call a Cinderella complex. I always want to transform people. I want to wave magic wands and make them wonderful like me. And I've always had this feeling from the time I was a child. And my mother, as we get into the temperaments, my mother is a flaggmatic, the easygoing kind of person. And so, she was I was always waving wands over her, trying to transform her and make her into something wonderful like me. I wanted her to get fun like me to get peppy like me, to get dressed like me. And I really had the notion in life, and some of you may still be there today if you haven't dealt with this. I really had the notion in life that if everybody got to be like me, that it really would be a wonderful world. Now, see, I really felt that. Now, I didn't analyze it that way at the time, but I look back now and I realize how much of my life I have spent in really trying to make other people become like me. Now, it wasn't until I really got into the Bible and began to study it and apply it to myself that I began to realize that nowhere in the Bible does God hold me accountable for Fred's behavior. Now, when I get to heaven, God is not going to deal with me at the Golden Gate by saying, "I will not give you a good position up here." And I naturally want to be president when I get there. But he is not going to look at me and say, I will not give you a position of manipulation up here because you did not shape Fred up in the way I assigned you to do it. Now, see, a lot of you women, and I'm with you. You see, a lot of you women are still in that position where you are trying to remake him or them or a whole group or an organization or the country where you're trying to make it into your mold and you're trying to get it in that way. But the Bible does not tell us that. Now, that was discouraging to me when I found that out because I was hoping as a young Christian that I would be able to find validity for my manipulative skills. Now, unfortunately, as I went through the Bible, I found out verses that said, "Let a man examine himself. Judge yourself. Put yourself to the test. Search me, oh God, and know my ways. If there be any wicked way in me, lead me in the way everlasting. Do you see where the emphasis is in God's word? What is he telling us to do? What person is he telling us to shape up ourselves? Now, none of you say that with much enthusiasm, and I don't blame you. I don't like it either. I would be much happier if God had assigned me to personally take hold of every misapp person in life and shake them into some kind of sense. And see, I have a real feel for that. But that's not what the Bible says. The Bible says, "Let a man examine himself. Put himself to the test. Judge yourself. Search me, oh God. Look at me. Judge me." And nowhere does he tell me to shape up everybody else. Now, I think right there, if we could get that concept this morning before we go any further, that God has personally assigned you to shape up one person in life and only. one. And who is that one person?
Myself. That's the only one that I have time or God's authority to work on. So, since you didn't bring anybody else with you this weekend anyway, you see, it's narrowed it down. It's going to make it easy. You've only got you with you. You did not bring your husband. You did not bring these terrible teenagers. You You didn't bring uh Some of you may have brought your terrible mother-in-law. I'm not sure. But, uh you may or may not have brought her along. Uh if you did, forget she's there and just deal with yourself. Don't nudge her or hit her or say to your friends, "I hope she's listening." None of that. This morning, we're going to deal only with one person, and that's yourself. So, put blinders on to the rest of the world. And start to look at you.
For those of you who like to go home from a retreat on Monday morning and and namerop about all the intelligent, intellectual things you've done over the weekend, you can definitely tell people after this that you have been studying the Greek philosophers because basically Basically, the concept that we're working on this weekend is from Hypocrates, the noted Greek physician and philosopher. He was functioning in the time 300 years before Christ was born. And he first was the one to analyze people's personalities and temperaments and to decide that we aren't all the same. That each one of us really is different. We are unique people. The Bible tells us this, too. God tells us that before the world was even made, he had chosen you. Isn't that comforting to know today that before the world was even made that God had chosen you. You are not insignificant. You are not just someone lost in the shuffle of life. You are in God's economy a person that he chose to be part of him. He tells us that he made us just a little lower than the angels. That we have significance that each one of us is unique. We are individuals and there's something different about each one of us. As each of us has different color hair, different color eyes, different shaped face as we have inherited all kinds of traits. from our past. As we have different kinds of dispositions and talents, as there is something unique about each one of us in every part of us, we find out that put together there's no one else in the world who's just like me. Now, that may be a blessing in a way, but there is no one else who's like me. There's no one else who's just like you. And this makes us unusual people, unique people, set aart people. The Bible calls us peculiar people. Not in a sense that we are negative, but that each one of us is a chosen, special individual. And today we're going to look at ourselves as to see what makes me different from you. What makes you different from your husband? What makes your husband different from his mother? What makes everybody unique and different? And as we study this, we're going to use the concept that Hypocrates, the Greek philosopher, first came up with. And he divided all of all people into four different categories. And we're using the exact terms that he used then. The Greek terms sanguin. And as you see on your first page, the sanguin person is one of according to Hypocrates who was full of red-hot blood that kept their mouth moving all the time, their eyes sparkling and had them always agitated wanting to get into something. As you see a little sanguin baby, the sanguin baby's eyes are sparkling, the mouth is moving ba all day long. From the very beginning that they can verbalize anything, they are talking away. They are happy, bright, bubbly, and bouncy. And they are full of excitement from the very beginning. And the sanguin person is this kind of a person. The caloric person is the born leader. One who knows how to take charge right from the beginning. And the little caloric baby from the moment he can sit up in the crib and look through the bars is looking out and wondering how long before he can take over from mother with him. It's not a question of can he or will he, it's when will he be able to do it. A controlling kind of personality. The melancholy is the person who according to Hypocrates is full of black bile, a melancholy spirit, a heaviness of heart. This person is the intellectual giant, the deep thinker, the one who analyzes things in life, but who tends to become easily depressed, who has quite often a resident black cloud traveling along. The flaggmatic person is the one who has much flem within him, causing him not to have a lot of pep or energy. Someone who doesn't want to go out and set the world on fire, but is happy to sit around and let everybody else do it. easygoing disposition. Now, Hypocrates divided people into those four kinds of categories way back 300 years before Christ. And we still use the labels today. While we don't necessarily go along with his theory of the fluids, we use them as an interesting way to be able to categorize ourselves and to analyze what's different about me and about you. As we get into this and see it, we will find out that most of us tend to marry the opposites from us and live to regret it ever after. And so, as we look at this today, we will begin to see the difference in the temperaments. Now, let's turn to the page that starts with sanguin at the top. Sanguin being the Greek word for blood. And as we look at this, we will find out that many of us here today will immediately identify ourselves as sanguins. Sanguins are the easiest to categorize because they're the loudest and you can notice them the easiest in crowds. They are always talking and their voice rings above everybody else. They are always running to grab people, to hug people, to get related to people and as you watch them function you can spot a sanguin. Now as we look at these different characteristics this morning our purpose in doing this again is not to become junior psychiatrist and straighten out the rest of the world which is of course the karik's idea of doing this. The reason we're looking these over is to begin to first place analyze ourselves as we begin to find out what kind of a temperament we are what kind of a personality as we begin to look first this morning at our strengths and this known at our weaknesses. As we begin to do this, we will find a pattern of nature within ourselves. Now, later as we understand ourselves, we will be able to apply these same principles to understanding other people and therefore getting along with them better. Not to straighten them out, but to accept them as they are and realize that just because they're different doesn't necessarily make them wrong. Now, these are the two points of view. We'll be looking at selfanalysis. Why am I the way I am? Understand my strength. so that I can work to amplify them, understand my weaknesses so that through the power of the spirit I will be able to eliminate those and secondly to understand other people and to realize that just because they're different doesn't make them wrong. Now when we look at the sanguin the page that has sanguin written across the top we will see that there are three words across extrovert talker and an optimist. Now these are the three key things about the sanguin. They are extroverted. They want to be with people. They want to be out in front. They want to be having a good time and that they are talkers. They love to talk over everything. They're not too concerned with what they get done as long as they have fun talking about it. And they are optimistic. Whatever thing comes up in life, they see what will be fun about it and how we can have a good time doing this. And they are optimistic, bubbly, bright, and outgoing. Now, their one aim in life, the sanguin's one aim in life is whatever they're doing is to have fun at it. They have a compulsion to make everything in life fun. Now, this isn't this the perfect kind of person to be? Is That's the way I am and I think it's the way to go. It's obviously the right way. Now, not everybody agrees with this because there are some people who find that just so much fun is too much and that we don't need any more of it. But I go along with an article I read recently in uh the Los Angeles Time. It was quoting Miss Piggy and Miss Piggy said a true Sanguin statement. She says, "Too much is never enough." I thought she had some real deep philosophical truth in that. Especially for a sanguin, too much of anything. It's never enough. We always want more. It should be more fun, more laughs, more of everything. Too much is never quite enough for a sanguin. And so, the sanguin wants to have fun in life. They're ready to go. And they're excited about everything that comes along. Now, as you look at these, you might be checking off some of these traits that sound like you. And later, the quizzes you just took, we will doublech checkck these traits with us. It's a double way of doing it this morning. So, look at these different traits and see how many of them sound like you. Now, I used to say, "Don't bother to check off about your husband or someone else at the same time." But I found out that the melancholies, the very analytical people, come up with immediate systems on how to analyze everybody at the same time by initials beside all these things. Now, that's totally over my head and I couldn't handle that. But I found out that some of you melancholies are able to do everything. You love columns and charts and graphs and you're able to pre-analyze everybody as you're doing this. So, whatever you want to do, fine. It's your paper. Write on it any way you want. too. But again, basically hold in mind that our purpose today is to analyze ourselves and find out why I am the way that I am. So, let's begin to look down here. The first one says that the sanguin is talkative and a storyteller. Now, there are some other people that talk a lot that aren't sanguins, but nobody but the sanguin has the marvelous ability to tell stories, to make every little trivia in life become a great pageant. And the sanguin has this wonderful ability to take any simple little act in life and make it into something that sounds so exciting. I went out the other day with someone who spent the entire lunchtime telling me about the new sewing machine that she had, including six guide books on how to use the sewing machine. Now, you can know right off when you get into the Sanguin that a Sanguin would never even use a sewing machine, that you had to read six books to know how to make a seam. And when I got through all of this, I was telling someone else about it. And I said, "Oh, I won't go through the whole thing for you on how what the six books of instruction went on." Because I said, "You would be as bored as I was." And then she said, "Oh, well, no, because you'd make it sound interesting." And I thought, you know, that's the part she knows me and she knows the sanguin in me that I could tell the story that bored me and make it interesting to you. Now, that doesn't mean it would be necessarily factual, but it would be interesting. Now, this is the way the saying would operate. Everything that they do in life is going to be fun. And they're not going to tell you the story in the same dull way they heard it. They're going to dress it up so it'll be fun for you. Now, the sanguin is a storyteller. And whatever we find in life, wherever we go, whatever activities that we are involved in, we can come home and ma make them sound exciting. I remember the one time that I lost my car in the sevenstory parking garage in New Haven, Connecticut. Now, only a sanguin could lose a car, and other people would know that it's big enough that you can keep track of it. It's not like your keys, which of course we always are losing. But I lost the car in the sevenstory parking garage. It was Christmas time and I'd gone in to do my shopping. So when I came out of the out of the store and looked at the seven stories, I had no idea where I had left my car. Uh as I was standing there looking bewildered, of course I have the ability that all sanguins have that you can look helpless. And uh so the sanguin tends to attract people who will help you. And so as I stood there looking utterly bewildered, a very nice young man came by and he said, "What's your problem? honey. And I said, "Well, I lost my car in that sevenstory parking garage." And he said, "Well, what kind of a car is it?" Now, that was a bad question. Only a sanguin would not know what kind of a car it was that they brought. And I said, "Well, that's the problem. I'm not really sure which car I drove." Now, this bothered him a little bit. He couldn't believe that I wouldn't know what kind of a car I came in. He said, "Why don't you look at your key? keys and maybe we can tell. And I said, "Well, I brought all the sets of keys, so that won't help." And he said, "Well, tell me what kind of cars you do have." So, I described, "Well, it's either this or that." It was either yellow with the top that came down or it was big and dark blue with white walls. And so, as I tried to describe this in a sanguin manner, the poor man looking utterly confused. Uh, as he stood there, another man came by and said to him, "What's the problem?" And he said, "Well, this poor lady has lost her car somewhere here in the seventh story parking garage." And this man asked the same question. He said, "What kind of a car is it? Now, I never like people that try to get you that specific about things. And he said, "Well, she doesn't know what kind." And the man said, "Oh my god." He couldn't believe it. So then they began to communicate about what are they going to do with this poor fallen damsel in distress. And so they said, "Well, we'll have to hunt till we find one of these two." And as the two of them are talking about me and trying to figure out how to help me, another man came along. He wanted to know what the problem. They went through the whole thing with him again. By this time, I could see that I was attracting very interesting attention. And so I figured there's there's going to be something good about this. And so we began to start a a train through this parking garage trying to find my car. Well, we picked up new friends as we went along. And by the time we actually got up to the fourth floor where we did find the car, uh we had gotten quite a retinue of people with us. And I was ready to start an organization and be president. Now, you've laughed at that story, so you know what an adorable, engaging story this really is. Now, the problem with sanguins is that they usually marry melancholies who don't think they're cute. How many of you know what I mean by that? All right, so you have a real feel for this already. I went home and I uh told Fred this marvelous story. Now, you see, you laughed. Wouldn't you think he would have laughed about what an interesting afternoon I had? with these men finding the car in the seventh story parking garage. I told him this whole story when I got all through, not even a smile. He looked at me and he said, "I am so embarrassed to be married to someone so stupid as to lose her car in the parking garage. Now you see he didn't think anything I had said was fun at all. Now a lot of us sanguins we think we are the only ones who married a dull husband like this who doesn't appreciate us and we therefore go out in life to find someone who will laugh at our stories. Now you see this is one of our gifts and it's certainly a wonderful gift that we are able to take any tragedy in life like losing one's car and attract enough attention that the whole thing becomes a party and we end up turning it into a marvelously exciting experience. Now the second thing about us is that we are um the life of the party. Everywhere we go, we get the crowds around us. We have them all laughing with our stories and we think it's just fun to be anywhere and to be able to amuse people. We also have a good sense of humor and a great memory for the colorful things of life. Now, our statistical memories like the melancholies have, those aren't very good. Now, when my husband and I were first married, he being melancholy and a stickler for the details of life and wanting everything truthful and factual. And he married me that didn't know what a fact was. And together we would talk this way. I would say, uh, we went down to somebody's house on Tuesday night. He'd say Wednesday. We got there at 6:30, 7:22. Uh, on the way down, we had stopped at some little funny restaurant, El Torito, and it was full of a bunch of Spanish people, Mexicans, and uh, they they were wearing little towels over their shoulders, sarabis, and us. We would This is the way we talked and it was sort of like a stereo set with two different stations. Now, I found out that Fred and I didn't really think or speak the same on anything. One night, we were at a party and this adorable sanguin girl was telling us this marvelous story about her boat trip to Catalina. And she told us how what she wore and what everybody ate and who who got sick and all the exciting colorful details of this trip to Catalina. And she regailed us with these tales for 20 minutes. At the end of that 20 minutes, when she'd finished and we all were in stitches over the whole thing, her melancholy husband, who was standing nearby, said two words. We flew. She stood there and she looked up with these big eyes
and she looked at all of us somewhat embarrassed and she said, "You know that's right. We float." And see, only a sanguin, only a sanguin could spend 20 minutes telling of a trip she never took. that the sanguin also holds on to the listener. Now, why is it when they get into a good story that the sanguin grabs you and hangs on to you throughout the story? What what's the reason? They're afraid what that you'll get away before they get to the punch line, right? And there was nothing that would do more psychological damage to the sanguin than to lose the audience before they get to the punch line. So, they hang on to their listener, their uh emotion demonstrative. The hands are always going. They're always jumping, moving around. The eyes are looking, the head is nodding. And if you ever did tie down their hands, they would have to use the head to make all of the expressions cuz they just can't do it without that. They're uh enthusiastic, cheerful, bubbling over, animated, expressive. They're very good on stage. Now, in fact, the sanguin is always on stage, even when they're not on stage. As I began to understand the temperaments and as I began to realize what kind of a personality I was. I began to realize that uh I never paid a lot of attention to my children in the home when there was only one of them. But if they brought in five or six little friends, I really turned on. I would become great, marvelous, entertaining mother and we would have a little circus right there. And I would read to them and and do things with them and take them places. But I never found a lot of fun with an audience of one. And you see the Sanguin really turns everything into a stage if at all possible. And the larger the audience, the more personable they become. The sanguin never has a lot of fun standing by themselves anywhere. In fact, if I do find myself alone, I talk to the dog or anything that's around. And I one day found myself I tripped on the edge of a chair and said I'm sorry to it. I feel so we got to talk to somebody. There's always got to be some kind of action and activity. So, we are always on stage. The sanguin is wideeyed and and rather innocent. And I have this one friend Patty. I'll mention her occasionally. She's a perfect example of a pure sanguin. And we aren't all was pure anything. But this girl is she's a pure sanguin right down the line. Every strength, every weakness. And she has big eyes. They're always kind of wideeyed, the sanguin. And she has long eyelashes. In fact, she pasted them on big long eyelashes. They She stands around. She looks like she's under a pair of awnings.
This is the end of side one. Please turn your tape over
that the melancholy goes into which is a genuine deep depression. This is only an attention getter on each end of the scale. We either get attention for how great it is or for how terrible it is, but it's never anywhere dull in the middle. It's always at extremes. The sanguin is sincere at heart. And I mentioned that because other people think they are a little bit phony. And uh they're always want to be a child because if you grow up, what do you have to do? Get down to business and get serious and do something. And it's uh heaven forbid that the sanguin should have to get pulled together. Now, that's their area emotionally. A perfectly delightful and charming entertaining type of person. and that all of us certainly would want to be. Now, at work, the strengths of the sanguin at work are a little harder to find. In fact, I had to almost create these uh because as workers, there's not really a lot you can say too good about the sanguin. Uh but they do volunteer a lot for jobs. They're the type that when somebody says, "Who would like to do such and such?" They all raise their hands. Have no intention of doing it, but they raise their hands. Why is it that they raise their hands? What does that get for them? Attention. You know, isn't it mar is that Mabel is so willing. Now, the fact that Mabel doesn't show up for the meeting doesn't matter at that time. They're always thinking up new activities for other people to do. They're very creative for others. They can always think of what you could do that would make everything better. And they are very uh they look good on the surface. They mean well. They've got a lot of energy and enthusiasm. They start everything in a very flashy way. So, you always think this is great. Sanguins are almost always in the yearbook at school voted most likely to succeed. seed. Now, they don't necessarily get very far, but they always look as if they're going to because they're charging around with all kinds of energy, and people think, my, if they ever get pulled together, they'll really amount to something. And that's true, but rarely do they ever get pulled together and amount to anything. Uh, they are great on inspiring other people to join things, and they are very good at charming others into doing their work. Now, this is a great trait that only the sanguins really have. The collar work at manipulating people, but only the sanguins really have the charm to pull it off and they are able to get other people to do their work and to even enjoy doing it and they're if they're really good they make other people think they thought it up and so that they're very able to get people to do these kinds of things. I have a perfectly marvelous sanguin brother. He's an entertainer in Dallas and I'm going there on Tuesday morning to speak in Dallas and uh I will see him when I'm down there. He's the number one radio television personality in the area. He's a wonderful sanguin, very outgoing nature and from the time he was a very little child, he was able to get people to pay him to do things. I recited a couple things for you last night. He was able to recite those things when he was three years old. And I would take him around and we would charge people a quarter to listen to him say those things. I see. We were able to make money off him from the time he was very little. And he still is making money off of his wit and personality. Hasn't got anything else going for him, but he sure is great in that area. And that seems to be enough. Now, when he was little, I can remember one time my mother assigned him to paint the railings on the porch. And uh as a true sanguin, he naturally did not want to do anything that was work, but he knew how to get people to do it. So he stood out there and sang and was very happy while painting these railings. And his little friends and and sanguins always have a retinue of people around them. And his little friends came along and they asked could they help. Now somebody who wasn't a true gifted sanguin would probably hand the brush over to the first one that asked, but that wouldn't get you very far. So he knew better. He said no, he was not going to allow them to do it. This was too much. fun. He wanted to do it himself and he continued to sing and paint. Now after a while, what were the little friends doing? Begging him to paint. So when he got them all so that they could see this was the most fun thing to do in the entire world and they must do it or die. When he got them to that point, he charged each one of them a dime to paint and they paid it. And not only did he not have to paint the porch, but he ended up with money in the hand while they did his work. Now that's a true sanguin who can do that. when he went into the armed forces and they sent him over to Korea during that particular period of history and he got on the big ship to sail over to Korea and they they announced right off the first night tomorrow morning we are going to give out the jobs. Now what does that do to the heart of a true sanguin think I am not going to do job and so being very clever he decided I will find some way to get out of this. So the next morning when they lined up to give out the jobs he stood next to the man who was giving them out and he stood right next to as if he was some kind of an assistant and he held a clipboard and a pencil paper and as the man gave out jobs he said you 10 will scrape paint you 10 will clean latrines and so forth and as he did this my brother would say very good very good yes that's nice and sanguins are very good at encouraging others to work and so he encouraged him all the way through well this man didn't dare ask him who he was so when he got all through and everyone on the ship but him had been given jobs this man looked at my brother and he dared to ask He said, "What is it that you're on the ship to do?" Now, he hated to appear ignorant, not know this. My brother said, "Well, I'm here to put together the talent show." Of which there was not one. And the man wanting to be right up with it, he said, "Oh, that's wonderful. The talent show, of course." And so, for two weeks, my brother had no jobs assigned to him. And for two weeks, he spent his time walking around interviewing everybody on board to find out what talent they had. Now, Everybody thought someone else had appointed him to do this. And at the end of the time, he put on this perfectly marvelous talent show with his great wit as an MC. Put on this great talent show the night before they docked. Now, he was the only one who didn't do any work on that entire ship. And after he'd been in Korea a couple of weeks, he received a parchment scroll from the government signed by the president commending him for lifting the morale of the troops while on board ship. Is he only a true gift? Sanguin could spend two weeks on a ship, be the only one to do nothing, and get a commendation for having done it. And see, that's a true sanguin. One who was able to get away without doing the work and charm other people at the same time. Now, the sanguin is a friend. Sanguins make friends very easily. They love people. They thrive on compliments. And if you want to get along with them, you find something good to say about them every 10 minutes. Then, if you say enough good things to keep them encouraged, they may do a little work along the side. Without that, they won't do anything. Uh, when I was first married and I cleaned out one of the knife drawers, I called Fred over and I said, "Fred, come and see. I've cleaned out the knife drawer." Now, you'd think he'd be thrilled about that, but as a true melancholy, he came over and he looked in it and he said, "It's about time." Now, as we began to learn to work with the temperaments and understand them, now if I clean anything, he's thrilled. And if I clean the knife drawer and open it up, I say, "Fred, come over." He trots, right? over dutifully, opens the knife drawer, looks in and says, "My, that is a lovely knife drawer. You've done a good job." And he pats me on the shoulder. Now, you see, with that kind of encouragement, I may within a month or two clean another drawer. But without it, I won't do anything at all. So, you see, when you learn to deal with people of different temperaments, you learn what it is that helps them. And the sanguin thrives on compliments. They seem exciting. They're envied by others, and they don't hold grudges. Now, why is it the sanguin doesn't hold a grudge? Can't remember who it was that said it. That's right. So, those of you those of you who get easily crushed and hurt, those of you melancholies who easily sink into despair when a sanguin tosses off some comment to you, realize that they they aren't out to get you. They didn't think that deeply and they just said it off the top of their head and it'll help you not to worry about it. They apologize quickly. The sanguin is very easy to say, "Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, I didn't realize that. Oh, I feel so bad. Oh, that's too bad. Oh, I will never do it again." And then what do they do? Go do it again. You see, they prevent dull moments. And it's always good for you as you begin to understand the temperament to realize that when you are having a party, unless you want all dull engineers and have a miserable evening, uh if you want to have some fun, then you invite at least two sanguins and you seat them at opposite ends of the table, never together, because if you put them together, all the fun will be there and everybody else will feel depressed. So, you spread them out and put the fun and games at opposite ends. And those of you sanguins who are good at this, who are the life of the party, and who always can keep things going, you might be interested in this job that I found in the LA Times, professional party guests. And for people who don't have any good sanguin friends, they rent them. Now, I thought this would really be good, especially around Christmas time. You like to go to a lot of parties. And this way, you could join up here and you could become a professional party guest and you could get $200 or $300 a night just to go to a party and be charming. I thought, that's not all bad, right? And uh you could really earn a little pick up a little extraction. extra money at the seasonal times. So they they do prevent dull moments and they love spontaneous activities. Whatever comes up, isn't this fun? Won't we have a good time? Now, what we've seen just so far on that part of the sanguin, just that much of it, we can see what a fun, outgoing, positive, and exciting person the sanguin is to be. Now, just before I break, I'm just going to do the caloric also, if that's all right, and then we will take a break because the collaric is similar. We're going to do that one next. I don't know what order you've got them there, but let's look at the one where across the top it says chaleric. The chaleric is very similar to the sanguin in that the caloric is an extrovert and outgoing person likes to be with people and also an optimist. Everything is going to be fine. Now the difference is that the sanguin wants to have fun about it and wants to talk about it while the keric what wants to get it done. Now the collaric wants to get everything done whose way?
Their way when now see you already have a feel for this. The cheric wants to get it done. I want it done my way now. Now, I'm about half keric. So, I have half of these sanguin things. And as I saw this group of sanguin collaric ladies right down here, they the three of them, they found all the things on the front page in every temperament. They were all of the good ones. Then when they turned over to the back, they couldn't find anything wrong with themselves at all. You see, that's typical sanguin collar. I'm wonderful. I can do everything just great and if the rest of the world would shape up and do it my way now we could all be happy. Now that's the way that the caleric field. I can remember one day shaking my little son and saying Freddy if you would just do everything I tell you to do when I tell you to do it we would get along just fine. Now see that's true. That's the way to get along with the collaring. Do everything they tell you to do when they tell you and you'll get along just fine. Now you may have no personality left after a few years but you will get along just fine because that is the way they want it to go. And when you look at the collar, you will see that they are born leaders. As I mentioned earlier, the little caloric baby, right from the moment the baby looks out of the crib, is waiting to see how quickly he can take control of this whole situation away from mother. Poor mother isn't going to make it anyway. And so, as soon as I can get hold of this, I'm going to run it. I went to one lady's house and she had this nice little girl, seven years old, who was obviously in charge of the entire family. There were four older brothers and sisters, a mother and father, and all six of them did exactly what Jeanie said. Now, as I observed this, I said to my friend, "At what age did Jeanie take control of the family?" Now, the mother is a caleric herself and the only one in life who pushes her around as Jeanie. And she said, "Well, what do you mean?" And I said, "Well, Jeanie is in control here." And then she wanted to know how I knew. Well, one example was that the night before when it was time for us to go out for dinner, the mother had announced to little Jeanie, "We are taking Mrs. Lauer out to the house for dinner. And little Jeanie looked up and said, "I want pizza." Now, when a little caloric seven-year-old looks up and says, "I want pizza." What did I know? We were going to have pizza. What did Jeanie know? We were going to have pizza. Who was the only one that was pretending she didn't know? The mother. The mother wanting to be a good mother in front of me. said, "No, Genie. Mrs. Latau doesn't want pizza." Now, I have never verbalized any words in my life about my like or dislike of pizza, but all of a sudden, whose fault is it now that we're going out? See, it's Mrs. Littower doesn't like pizza. Now, I hadn't said any such thing. So, immediately Jeanie turns on me and she starts saying to me, "Why don't you like pizza?" So, I have to tell her, well, I mean, I I don't have anything against pizza. I mean, it wouldn't be my first choice, but there's nothing really wrong with pizza? And then the mother keeps saying, "No, Mrs. Latau wants steak. We're going to go out for steak tonight." So, as this goes on, a genie resorts to the obvious second step of a keric who is thwarted. And what's that? Throw yourself on the floor and have a temper tantrum because that will get attention and that will get people to do it your way. Now, so as Jeanie's screaming and ranting on the floor here, the brothers and sisters come running in, "What's the matter with Jeanie?" The mother says, "Well, she's having a tantrum because wants to go out for pizza and they do what they have learned to do with Jeanie because she's in control and they say then why don't we go out for pizza and shut her up and the mother says well all right we'll go out for pizza at which point what what does Jeanie do instantly smiles gets up in control and we all march out to pizza now as I was discussing this with the mother I shared with her that there are three alternatives of what to do with a child like this number one is to play the game we're already playing with her, which is pretending that she's not in control and pretending that we have any jurisdiction over her at all. Now, that's purely a game and we can play this and as we do this, what are we teaching Genie? If we continue this game, we are teaching Jeanie that you are able to control this entire family. Now, you try nicely and firmly at first. If that does not work, you yell. If yelling does not work, you throw yourself on the floor and have a temper tantrum and that will do it because mother will then be so humiliated that she will give in instantly and you will be in charge. Now that's what the game is teaching Jeanie and each time she goes through those steps and it works. It reinforces in her this is the way to control mother and there may be some of you here today that have a genie at home that is controlling you in the same way. Now I suggested to my friend that's not a good way because what you are teaching her is how to control and manipulate through these types of emot outburst. I counseledled one couple where the girl and they were both in full-time Christian service where the girl at 24 was throwing herself on the floor and having temper tantrums to get her way with her husband and he didn't know what in the world to do with her. And when I was when I got to this point and it took a few times before we got down to what she was really doing and she hated to admit it because it sounded so stupid, but it was what she was doing. And when I asked her, she said, "Well, I guess I learned that because that was my pattern of behavior at home to get my way. Now, you see, this is what we teach a child when we allow them to go through this. And this is what Jeanie was doing. So, I said to the mother, there are two other ways that you can handle this. One of them is to stop playing this game. Call a family meeting and announce to everybody that you are appointing Genie to be in control of the entire family. I said, "This will cut out the temper tantrums, will cut out the manipulation. She will know clearly where she stands, and so will everybody else, and she can take firm control without any otal outbursts to do it. Now you see that is a better way. It really is a better way because we now don't show her that the temper tantrums are a good thing. We give her the control and she takes over. Now that's a wonderful way if you wish to have a seven-year-old child running your entire family. At least it cuts out the controversy. Now the third way is that you call everybody together and announce that no longer is Jeanie going to control the family. And she said, "Well, how can I change now? know that she's established this so well. You see, she's seven years old, about this big, and we're worried how we're going to change this child. What can we do with her now? We've already lost her at seven. She's gone. And I said, "Well, one thing, you could find some way of controlling her, such as what I did with my Marita, who was very similar to Jeanie, and set out to take charge of me." And I found out that the only way that I could control Marita, and I'm not telling you to run home and do this, but it might work if you've got a Marita on your hand, or a genie. What I did with her was I put a big hook on the outside of her bedroom door, a strong hook on the outside of her bedroom door. And when Marita started to control me and direct me and tell me what everybody was going to do, and when I objected and she went into screaming and then went into temper tantrums, when we got to that point, and this is when she was three, she started to take over, that I would pick her up, drag her off to her room, throw her into the room because you had to throw her, she wasn't going to move on her own, and uh say to her, "Marita, this is the room where you cry. You may have a temper tantrum. You may cry. You may do whatever you want to. She threw blocks a lot. I mean, weighing them at the door. And I said, "You may sit here and cry as long as you wish because I don't wish to listen to this. And when you're through crying, I'll check back now and then, and when you're through crying, I will let you out." Now, the first day, she screamed, ranted, raved, threw, ripped up the room, emptied the drawers, turned everything upside down, ripped the sheets off the bed, all these things for about two hours. And I let her do it. I mean, you can always repair a room. And uh so uh at the end of that time, she stopped. And so I went in, I very nicely said to her, I see that you've stopped screaming and I guess you've had a wonderful time in here and you can come back again at another time when you do this again. And uh um now we'll come out and you can join the rest of the family. Now, the next time she went into one of her temper tantrums and I dragged her off and threw her into the room and locked the door. Uh when I did that, the next time she only screamed about 15 minutes. Uh the next time only 10. minutes. And after two or three times like this, as I started dragging her to the room, what did she do? Stop crying before she got there. Now, you see, I had to do that. I had to stay with it. I had to hang in. I had to be stronger than she was. But if you don't do that when they're 2, three, and four years old, and you wait until they're 17 and six feet tall, it's a little late to start this kind of discipline. So, this is extremely important that we realize with these strong children that we must get in control. And you ask yourself one question, who is in control of these children? If they are in control of you, you are in real trouble. And it may be cute to have them have little tantrums and to scream and rant when they're two and three and four years old, but there's nothing very attractive about a 16-year-old having a temper tantrum and especially when you aren't big enough to control them. So, it's important. Now, that's a little side lesson on child raising, but that'll give you a little little thought. I do have some tapes on child raising if you want more. in that area. But I think this is so important for us to at least understand in the area of the caloric. All right. The little caloric child is a born leader. They are very dynamic and active. They have a compulsive need for change. The caloric person the minute they see anything wrong, they have to go and change it. They've got to fix it and to make it right. Uh my husband who's half caloric and half melancholy and the melancholy detail consciousness of him, he likes everything lined up just right. And if he goes into somebody's house and the pictures are crooked, he straightens them up. Whatever he sees wrong, he straightens up. Now I'm half collaric also and uh recently I was in Phoenix and talking with another sanguin collaric friend of mine and the two of us were conversing back and forth as strong and fast as we could and her sister came up between us and naturally we did not have time to acknowledge her sister. We were too busy in our conversation but we did see her come there but we couldn't stop to say hello or anything because we were so busy with this uh interchange. And as we were going back and forth I noticed that her sister that her collar was turned under. And so I didn't miss a beat in my conversation, but as I was talking, I reached up and I straightened up her collar and fixed it for her. I knew she'd want me to do that. And so I straightened her out. And as I as I noticed my hand up there straightening her collar, I noticed that my friend's hand was on the other shoulder picking some lint off her jacket. Now, you see, here are two collar. We haven't even said hello to her yet, and we're already fixing her up and straightening her. out and making her right. They see the callerate takes charge at any moment given half a chance or even not a chance. They're straightening everybody out. They have a compulsive need uh to change things and to correct the wrong. They're strong willed and very decisive. The color can make decisions instantly before the question is even totally asked. They are giving you the answer or doing whatever it takes to get it done. Now, the sanguin will talk about it. The melanchai will get depressed over it. The flaggmatic will say, "Who cares any Anyway, and and the caller will be getting it done right off instantly. They're unemotional. They're not easily discouraged. If you tell them it can't be done, now if you say to the sang when it can't be done, what will they say? Oh, good. We don't want to get involved in that anyway. If you say to the collaric, it can't be done, what will they say? I'll show you. That's the spirit of the collar. They're independent, self-sufficient. They exude confidence. You just know when they stand up there, they know what they're doing. They're pulled together. They've got it all. They know what they're doing. And they can run anything. They can run any group, no matter whether they ever went to that meeting or not. They can be president instantly. They can take it over. Now, this is something which I is is a talent as long as it's not carried to an extreme. And I've had to really fight this area in my life because I spend a lot of my time going to women's groups, at least half of which are totally inept and utterly confused. And when I sit there waiting to speak while they're having their business meeting, what does the caloric part of want to do want to get up there and say to that chairman, "Sit down, you dummy, and let me do this." Right? Now, I'm sure you can imagine that while that might be a talent in one circumstance, that it doesn't make you very popular. And it's not a very gracious and charming thing to do. But those of us that are callerics will realize that this is our tendency to run everything. And my husband says, "Ignorance has never kept me quiet. Doesn't matter if I know anything about it or not. I'll run it anyway." Now, as workers, this is the strong area for the They are goal oriented. They see the whole picture and they organize everything very well and they seek practical answers. They want it done right. They move quickly into action. They're going to do it now and they're going to do it right and it's going to be their way. And they delegate. What kind of work? What kind of work do they delegate? The menial tasks, right? The dummy work that anybody can handle. And what do they save for themselves? The big picture. The overall control of everything. Control is a real word. card for the caleric. They uh insist on production. Everybody's got to move and get going. And my daughter Lauren once said to me, "Mother, if I ever wanted to rest, I sure wouldn't come home because I already have in mind what everybody should do." And if you come to my house for dinner and you say, "What can I do?" Don't ask that if you don't want to do something because I already have it charted out in my head what the first person that asks is going to get to do. And so I already know how I'm going to organize it and what everybody is going to do. So they insist on production. They make the goal. They stimulate activity in other people. Nobody dares sit around when a collar is in control. They thrive on opposition. You can't do it. I'll show you how it's done. Now, the keric is a friend. Doesn't really need any. Now, the sanguin needs friends for what? For an audience. But the keric doesn't need any because the keric's goals are on their production. And they don't need people. They'll be glad to work for you. They'll lead your group. They'll organize it. They'll straighten it out. They're usually right. And this is something which some people find difficult to live with if you have a caloric husband. And And he is usually right. I see you cheering that on. Yes. I tell you, I'm glad your husband's didn't come. I think you would have tard and defended the whole group of them if they'd been here. They're usually right. And it's interesting. The karic usually is right. And in the test of time proves them to be almost always right because the collaric doesn't waste a lot of time on fluffy words like the sanguin. Half what the sanguin said doesn't amount to anything. But the karic only makes a statement if they know what it how it's going to turn out. And so if they say it, it's usually right and they excel in emergencies while the sanguin is going, "Oh dear, whatever should we do?" And the melancholy saying, "Oh, this is terrible." And dropping in a depression. And the flegmatic is removing himself from the activity because it looks too much like work. The collaric is charging forth and taking care of this emergency. All right. Now, we've looked so far this morning at the strength of the sanguin, the bright, bubbly, outgoing, fun person, and the strengths of the collaric who sees the goal and is determined that we are going to get it done my way, now!
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