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"Welcome to 'Parent Like An Athlete,' your ultimate guide to parenting with audacity, tenacity, and finesse. Hosted by the dynamic duo, Otis Grigsby, a former NFL warrior turned attorney, and his British wife, Gemma Grigsby, a successful healthtech marketing agency owner. Our mission is to navigate the parenting field with the same relentless drive as an athlete striving to improve by one percent each day. This isn't about winning or losing; it's about mastering consistency, transforming routine into an art form, and making everyday parenting an exciting journey. Are you ready to redefine your parenting playbook? Tune in and join our vibrant community as we tackle today's parenting challenges head-on!"
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Unknown
Welcome. Let's jump right in to the story first story.
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Unknown
Is this the norm in North America? Hmm.
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Unknown
originally from South Asia.
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Unknown
And hosting or feeding people lavishly is a big part of our culture.
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Unknown
We've recently moved to North America and are a bit confused by the culture.
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Unknown
One of our friends invited us and another couple over for swimming at their pool yesterday, along with our respective kids.
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Unknown
About an hour into swimming, they served a small platter of kabobs and bread, which was quickly polished off.
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Unknown
towards the evening
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Unknown
The hostess told her husband that she heard one of the kids complaining to his mom about a stomach ache because
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Unknown
he's hungry and suggested that they order some food.
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Unknown
The host proceeded to go into their pantry and pull out half a bag of animal crackers.
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Unknown
Yuck.
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Unknown
As those were also quickly polished off, it was clear that the kids were still hungry, including their kid.
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Unknown
The host then made each child a toast with peanut butter.
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The child with the stomach ache ate his entire toast.
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His brother's toast.
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Unknown
And half of my daughters. But no one offered to make him or any of the other kids new
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Toast.
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Unknown
As we left, I was a bit disturbed by the experience.
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Unknown
The couple hosted us very warmly, allowed our children to play with all their kids toys and consistently offered us beverages.
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Unknown
But I was a bit disturbed and confused by this experience.
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Unknown
If I were in that position, I would have instantaneously whipped up a quick meal for the kids or ordered some pizzas.
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Unknown
But I found it strange that they didn't do the same, especially since they are not financially strained at all.
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Unknown
I've had a few experiences like this attending a first birthday where there was no cake for any child except the smash cake for the birthday boy going for playdates where the only snacks served are the ones I take, etc. And I'm starting to wonder
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Unknown
if it's my expectations that are the issue
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Unknown
and if the culture around hosting is truly that different in North America.
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Unknown
Hmm.
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Unknown
First of all, can I just say
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Unknown
children's parties are
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not my favorite?
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I
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like they are
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Unknown
not my favorite, I think. Uh,
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Unknown
yeah. And so, yeah, this problem is is a problem for some and not so much for others. I don't think it's a North America issue. I think this is just some people are just
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Unknown
bad at hosting parties.
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Unknown
Some people
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aren't really great at planning things out. They, they aren't really
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Unknown
detail oriented.
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Unknown
So
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when you skip on the details,
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Unknown
then you make a really ridiculous mistakes, like
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Unknown
not having enough food for the kids, or
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Unknown
you just don't realize that it's not cool to have cake for just the birthday boy or birthday girl for them to smash their face in and just
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Unknown
grab all over or whatever it is.
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Unknown
I don't even know what you're supposed to do with a smash cake, but I mean, that seems,
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Unknown
I guess, you know, like the pie in the face.
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Unknown
I don't know when this started, but,
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Unknown
um, you know, that's, uh,
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Unknown
it's. I don't know if it's cultural, though. I mean, I don't... cultural to well, North America, it's a lot of
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Unknown
countries, so it's not North America.
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Unknown
If you're in Mexico, I got to say,
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Unknown
you're going to a real party where you're getting taken care of. And if you're going to a party in, say, San Antonio, where I'm from,
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Unknown
you are going to a party with tons of food and and you're you're going to be stuffed.
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Unknown
They're sending you home with food.
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Unknown
A lot of the parties I went to when I was growing up,
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Unknown
whether it was, you know,
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Unknown
I mean, not just Hispanic people, but
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black people,
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white people.
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You're you're getting taken care of. And just because someone
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Unknown
seems like they have a lot because they spend a bunch of money on their home, they could be house poor.
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Unknown
you really just don't know. Like for me,
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Unknown
if I go to a party
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Unknown
and they're not taking care of people with food,
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Unknown
those are just things I just make a mental note of like, well, these people aren't really the most
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Unknown
generous right?
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Unknown
I think there's a question of
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are they doing are they throwing this party for themselves or for others? So someone who's generous is going to is going to do it for others. They're going to
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say, how can I make this experience
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something that's epic and memorable, not just for my kid, not just for for us, you know, not just to help us
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get more friends or get more buzz about
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our coolness and our power couple ness or whatever it is that some of these people are aiming for.
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Unknown
They're asking, How can I make this Saturday afternoon
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Unknown
where I asked people to show up to give up three, four or 5 hours of their time
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to celebrate my child?
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Unknown
How can I make
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this experience so great that they're going to be like, Wow, I'm I'm so glad that we took three, four or 5 hours out of our day
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to spend time with these people because they truly
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seem like they care about
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Unknown
us.
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Unknown
And if they're not doing that,
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Unknown
you know, I'm not mad. There's no reason to be upset. It's just, hey, you know, live and learn. Don't don't go to their party again.
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Unknown
And,
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Unknown
you know, I think it's a I think it's a great way to not I'm not picking my friends based on
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Unknown
whether they throw good parties or not.
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Unknown
But I'm I'm going to
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Unknown
keep these things in mind. I guess.
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Unknown
And then I guess the part about
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Unknown
comparison
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Unknown
what this
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poster on Reddit would have done, she said she would have,
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Unknown
you know, whipped up a quick meal for the kids or ordered some pizzas.
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Unknown
Um,
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Unknown
yeah. I mean, maybe they can't cook.
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Unknown
I mean, I'm going to say that they couldn't cook because
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Unknown
what what was the meal? A small platter of kabobs and bread.
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Unknown
So basically we went with the most basic easy thing to make.
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Unknown
And then when they it turned out that they didn't plan and prepare properly,
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Unknown
uh, they went for the toast
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Unknown
with peanut butter.
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Unknown
The toast with peanut butter. That's not a meal. I can't even call that a I guess it's a snack.
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Unknown
But
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Unknown
the reality is kids running around
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Unknown
are burning up a bunch of energy and they already need a ton of energy to grow anyway. So then you put on top of that
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Unknown
exercise and play and all that. Yeah, peanut butter and toast is not going to cut it.
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Unknown
You need some animal protein. No.
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Unknown
Anyway, so you know, what would I do, what would, what other people do. I think they'd all be different. But I'm, I'm over planning. I'm going to have extra. I think that if you're planning a party
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Unknown
for your kid,
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Unknown
don't be that person who's like, you know, potluck style. That's I mean, look, if you, if you can't afford it, totally cool.
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Unknown
If your friends just want to help, totally cool. But for me personally, when friends, I invite friends over for brunch. Hey, what can I bring
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Unknown
yourself?
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Unknown
Bring yourself,
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Unknown
bring yourself and be hungry when you do it. That's that's. That's what I want you to do because I'm going to whip up something
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Unknown
awesome,
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Unknown
something kind of made up based on some recipes.
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Unknown
And it might go great, it might be terrible, but I'm going to put a lot of effort in, and I think that's all that matters. I think people notice
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Unknown
when you put in effort and usually when you put in your 100% effort,
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Unknown
it turns out great, even if you're not a great cook, even if you're not a great host, when you put in effort, everything works out and I think that's just like with
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Unknown
with anything.
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Unknown
So.
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Unknown
So yeah, um,
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Unknown
North America, is this the norm?
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Unknown
I also just enjoy that this woman said North America because
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Unknown
we in the United States
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Unknown
do not refer to where we are as North America. Of course it's America.
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Unknown
So
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Unknown
that's a little ignorant, but that's what we do. I
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Unknown
next story.
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Unknown
I finally get what my parents have always told me.
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Unknown
I have a sweet seven month old and I feel like since he was born, I finally understand what my parents always told me.
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Unknown
They told me they love my sister and I so much, etc. etc.
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Unknown
that we wouldn't understand the intensity of it unless we chose to have kids one day.
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Unknown
This was never said in a rude way, just factual.
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Unknown
And I always thought they were exaggerating, but
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Unknown
damn, they were right.
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Unknown
I can't believe how much love or how much I love my little guy.
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Unknown
It almost hurts or
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Unknown
aches.
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Unknown
I was sitting with him in my mom the other day and just kind of realized, Wow,
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Unknown
my mom really does love me.
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Unknown
This overwhelming parent child love, I feel, is how she also felt about me and my sibling.
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Unknown
It just made me really appreciate my parents even more
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Unknown
and watching them become grandparents and absolutely adore my son and help me out wherever I need it.
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Unknown
It's just been such a joy to watch it all.
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Unknown
Same with my in-laws.
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Unknown
I realize I'm very lucky and not everyone has this experience or relationship, but it's given me such a new perspective on my own parents. That is so sweet.
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Unknown
All right. You also, if you've watched
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Unknown
enough episodes of parenting an athlete, you know that a lot of the stories are not
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Unknown
as heartwarming. They're not as positive.
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Unknown
But we love positive stories. I love positive stories. This one, when I first read it,
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Unknown
I teared up a bit. You know, it's
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Unknown
it resonated. It hit, you know, my my parents,
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Unknown
my dad was very different from my mom. I mean, just much like every person is different. But my dad was was the one that was was very, you know, loving and affectionate.
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Unknown
You know, he'd hug us a lot. He'd give us, like, kisses and
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Unknown
and he'd tell us how much he loves us. And my mom, you know, it was rare that she would tell us that she loved us. And
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Unknown
and I never really resented that because I feel like
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Unknown
I recognized
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Unknown
how she loved
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Unknown
in the way she approached
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Unknown
taking care of us for kids.
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Unknown
She sacrificed a lot of her her time at home
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Unknown
taking care of us, teaching us to read, teaching us
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Unknown
all the things that we need to know to the point where, you know,
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Unknown
all four kids,
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Unknown
college educated,
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Unknown
you know, two of us played
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Unknown
sports on an elite level in college. I played in the NFL,
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Unknown
and none of that would have been possible without my mom making like, tremendous sacrifices.
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Unknown
And, you know, the meal from the meal she could from the time spent breastfeeding, all that stuff that a lot of people just really unfortunately don't have time to do these days. You know, my mom did it, so didn't hear I love you a lot. But like, I felt the love
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Unknown
and I always knew that that she really cared even when she
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Unknown
didn't seem like
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Unknown
And with my dad, there was never a question. It was it was just constant telling us how much she loved us. Even, you know, there were times he had to discipline us. But
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Unknown
it was there. So,
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Unknown
you know, I, I feel like
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Unknown
I expected to understand
00:10:09:11 - 00:10:13:18
Unknown
with this woman is understanding before our son was born.
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Unknown
And
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Unknown
and to a certain extent I did.
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Unknown
But then once he was here,
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Unknown
it just took on it went to another level.
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Unknown
And those of you who are parents know what that what that feels like. And those of you who are expecting
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Unknown
you'll find out
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Unknown
and it's it's the real deal. It's it's something that's so powerful that it really kind of steps in
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Unknown
in those moments where,
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Unknown
you know your desire for like yourself and what you want in the moment,
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Unknown
what you wish would be happening with your time and how your day would go would work out.
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Unknown
It just evaporates when you see the joy and enthusiasm,
00:10:51:07 - 00:10:52:19
Unknown
excitement for life
00:10:52:19 - 00:10:57:22
Unknown
in your child's eyes and your child's mannerisms and body language and just the way
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Unknown
you know he or she wants to be around you. So
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Unknown
I
00:11:01:12 - 00:11:03:15
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absolutely love this story.
00:11:03:15 - 00:11:09:03
Unknown
I don't feel an aching or pain over the joy like this woman, but
00:11:09:03 - 00:11:10:03
Unknown
it's
00:11:10:03 - 00:11:12:06
Unknown
it truly feels like
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Unknown
this unbelievable blessing.
00:11:14:03 - 00:11:14:21
Unknown
And
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Unknown
it flies in the face of a lot
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Unknown
of the the negative beauty that you hear from people about their experience having kids.
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Unknown
So much of what,
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Unknown
oh, there's a B,
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Unknown
I was watching Sesame Street with my child and there was this bear who was afraid of bees, which is kind of hilarious because
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Unknown
I don't think bears are really afraid of bees.
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Unknown
And then the fairy
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Unknown
used a spell to
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Unknown
try to make the the bear not afraid of bees. But then she actually turned the bear into a bee, along with his friend who was a human.
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Unknown
And they ended up being commissioned by a bee to come work in the beehive. And it was.
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Unknown
It's hilarious. I
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Unknown
love Sesame Street.
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Unknown
That's just a little side comment right there.
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Unknown
Love Sesame Street. That was one of the things my mom had me watch when I was a kid helped me time. And I mean, they've just up their game a little bit anyway.
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Unknown
The negativity,
00:12:05:12 - 00:12:07:02
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the negativity that you hear
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Unknown
is it's rampant. And
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Unknown
and I get it, too. I understand the reasons why we live in a society. Speaking of like that last story, is there an issue with North America?
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Unknown
It's it's
00:12:18:12 - 00:12:22:03
Unknown
we've got an issue in America when it comes to
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Unknown
true appreciation for family
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Unknown
where
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where we say we care about family values, but we will not
00:12:29:08 - 00:12:34:20
Unknown
give people the time to just be off from work, to be with their family, to raise kids to
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to make sure that they have the nourishment that they need.
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Unknown
There's just there's this culture of just hurry, hurry, hurry, rush, rush, rush
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Unknown
from one task to the next,
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Unknown
with the overall goal of
00:12:46:10 - 00:12:50:13
Unknown
of like your personal happiness and and your personal enrichment.
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Unknown
And the reality is
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chasing after happiness is
00:12:55:14 - 00:12:56:16
Unknown
going to lead to misery.
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Unknown
Because we are. We're not put here for our happiness. That's not
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Unknown
that's not what we're here for.
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Unknown
If you believe that, then you know, I'm sorry.
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Unknown
debate me.
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Unknown
Drop a comment.
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Unknown
You know, I'd love to
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Unknown
I'd love to hear your thoughts on it.
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Unknown
We're not here for our personal happiness.
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Unknown
We're not here for our personal enrichment. We're here for
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Unknown
the relationships around us. We're here to to
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Unknown
enrich the lives of others.
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Unknown
And there is no no greater thing that you can do than enriched enrich the life of your child. And you feel
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Unknown
it right inside of your your soul and your gut. It is
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Unknown
it's evident.
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Unknown
And I love it.
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Unknown
I absolutely love it. I would never I'd never trade what I have for anything in the world.
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Unknown
yeah, so
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Unknown
heartwarming. Your
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Unknown
shout out to all you all taking care of your kids and showing the massive love and attention and affection and also discipline, because this one is also love.
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Unknown
Last story.
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Unknown
Would you allow and or encourage your child to pursue a career in
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Unknown
elite sport?
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Unknown
Prompted by a conversation with another dad over the weekend,
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Unknown
assuming that you believe that they had some sort of realistic chance at making it, would you encourage your child to try to pursue a career in a league sport?
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Unknown
I've a few mates who either tried to or did make it in sports when they were younger.
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Unknown
A couple of Olympians, a couple of professional cyclists, one pro footballer.
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Unknown
Apart from the footballer, none of them made any significant money doing so and about 50% of them hated it. In retrospect,
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Unknown
partly the hard work, but mainly how it consumes the rest of your life and cutthroat oddness of the culture.
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Unknown
Um,
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Unknown
my opinion is that I would discourage my child to do something like that, although if they were dead set on it,
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Unknown
I would regard it as ultimately their choice.
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Unknown
This is partly due to my experience trying to make it in the arts before eventually quitting due to
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Unknown
lack of talent.
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Unknown
I love this question
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Unknown
because it's an opportunity to
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Unknown
address the real problem and
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Unknown
fear.
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Unknown
This guy is trying to figure out if he should encourage his child.
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Unknown
If the child has talent and the capacity to to to pursue professional sports.
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Unknown
And
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Unknown
and he's basically, you know, going off of other people's experiences and their,
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Unknown
negative experiences. And then his negative experience
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Unknown
pursuing arts. And that's not doing so great because he didn't have the talent.
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Unknown
So, number one, I mean, I played in the NFL
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Unknown
for
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Unknown
about six years,
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Unknown
and
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Unknown
I loved it.
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Unknown
I would never, ever, ever
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Unknown
trade that for anything in the world. But I had teammates who didn't love it.
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Unknown
I had teammates who didn't seem I didn't want to be there. It didn't matter Like the money. Money doesn't matter, Right?
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Unknown
If you're doing something you don't love, if you if you don't enjoy it, like if you're say, for instance, American football,
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Unknown
if you don't enjoy
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Unknown
hitting people or getting or you have a problem getting hit, then it's not going to be great for you.
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Unknown
You can play for years and it's just going to be pure misery and you're most likely doing it because
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Unknown
someone
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Unknown
wants you to, because you're you're people pleasing.
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Unknown
So my advice to this dad and other dads and moms out there who have a similar question,
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Unknown
you know, it's it's really just, hey, if this is what they want to do, if they want to pursue this and if they're putting energy
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Unknown
and and they've got passion for it,
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Unknown
then like, by all means, support them, encourage them, you know, lift them up when they've got when they're down, when they're hurt, when things aren't going the way they want.
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Unknown
Just don't pressure them to do something they don't want to do. Right. Because that's
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Unknown
making it about you.
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Unknown
And I think this whole thing where
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Unknown
where you know, you're worried about, well, what if they fail? What if they don't have the talent?
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Unknown
What if what if it turns out that they're not good enough?
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Unknown
Again, you're making it about you.
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Unknown
It's not about you.
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Unknown
It's just not like it does not
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Unknown
how you feel about how they might feel if they fail. It's not about you. We, as parents, our job is not to keep our kids from failing. Our job is to
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Unknown
help them to strengthen their minds
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Unknown
so that they understand that failing is
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Unknown
a lesson. It's an opportunity to grow.
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Unknown
It's it's nothing
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Unknown
personal. It has nothing to do with who they are. Inherently,
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Unknown
it's okay to suck at something because it means that you have an opportunity to grow like, that's exciting. That's like the that's the cool part about being alive.
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Unknown
You know, it was it would suck if, like everything you did, you were just like, perfect at it.
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Unknown
How
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Unknown
boring.
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Unknown
I mean, like, it seems like it would be awesome if, like, Oh, yeah, everything I do, it's just magical, right? Like, if I started this YouTube channel and then I posted like three videos and I've got like 3 million subscribers. It sounds cool, but like,
00:17:39:02 - 00:17:44:23
Unknown
life is boring without friction, without without frustration, without without some pain, without a little
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Unknown
confuse.
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Unknown
I'm walking out of any movie that doesn't have conflict built into the plot.
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Unknown
Like it's the most boring story.
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Unknown
It's always boring. So. So it's just life. So do not shield your child from life from a full
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Unknown
life. Let your kid
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Unknown
experience some pains and frustrations and failures and loss
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Unknown
and be there to help them understand that it's going to be okay, that this pain is not permanent.
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Unknown
It's temporary and everything is just fine. So
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Unknown
yeah,
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Unknown
uh, sir, in England somewhere, maybe
00:18:19:11 - 00:18:20:23
Unknown
you're not watching this, but
00:18:20:23 - 00:18:24:13
Unknown
and I actually commented already, so hopefully he saw my comment.
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Unknown
But sir,
00:18:25:13 - 00:18:26:20
Unknown
in other words, like you
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Unknown
forget about
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Unknown
what happened to you
00:18:29:20 - 00:18:33:13
Unknown
and oh, you know what? I leave you with
00:18:33:13 - 00:18:37:04
Unknown
with something. And it's it was our
00:18:37:04 - 00:18:38:01
Unknown
in high school.
00:18:38:01 - 00:18:40:11
Unknown
It was like our our motto. And I
00:18:40:11 - 00:18:44:08
Unknown
and I forget exactly if it's like it's like Philippians
00:18:44:08 - 00:18:48:03
Unknown
through 16 or something. I'm not sure if I have it right. Exactly.
00:18:48:03 - 00:18:52:18
Unknown
But we carried this verse around with us in our wallets,
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Unknown
and it goes something like this. I might get it wrong, but it's like,
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Unknown
No, dear brother, I am not all that I should be,
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Unknown
but I am
00:19:00:17 - 00:19:06:14
Unknown
focusing my mind on this one thing, forgetting the past and looking and looking forward to what lies ahead.
00:19:06:16 - 00:19:09:21
Unknown
I strained to reach the end of the race to receive the prize
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Unknown
in which God has called me
00:19:11:12 - 00:19:15:05
Unknown
this this like I'm getting chills right now. I'm tearing up
00:19:15:05 - 00:19:17:03
Unknown
just thinking about this because
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Unknown
it's like this is this is the whole ballgame. This is this isn't some this isn't just
00:19:22:01 - 00:19:25:11
Unknown
for an athlete. It's like for your life.
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Unknown
I am I am not all that I should be.
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Unknown
It's an acknowledgment that I'm not perfect.
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Unknown
It's okay.
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Unknown
But I'm I'm focused on one thing, forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead. So many people are just caught up and wrapped up
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Unknown
in the past
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Unknown
in in what's behind them, in what's over, what's done. And it's just like
00:19:44:14 - 00:19:45:13
Unknown
snap out of it.
00:19:45:13 - 00:19:49:08
Unknown
You know, you don't have time to be worried about what happened
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Unknown
20 years ago, 30 years ago, 40 years ago, five years ago, five days ago.
00:19:54:14 - 00:19:57:01
Unknown
It's over. It's done. Move on.
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Unknown
And I'm not trying to be rude about it. I'm not trying to dismiss people's,
00:20:00:13 - 00:20:03:13
Unknown
you know, grief or pain or whatever. But the reality is
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Unknown
I can only control the controllable. And if I had the power to control the past, boy,
00:20:07:23 - 00:20:11:16
Unknown
what an awesome power. But I don't have that power and neither do you.
00:20:11:21 - 00:20:13:16
Unknown
And neither does your kids. So
00:20:13:16 - 00:20:14:13
Unknown
let them
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Unknown
hop in it and find out. All right. I
00:20:18:11 - 00:20:22:01
Unknown
kind of blaze through these. I'm sure there's some stuff I left out, but
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Unknown
yeah, if you had a great time with this, please, like in subscribe, drop some comments. As I said before,
00:20:27:20 - 00:20:28:22
Unknown
and have a great day.
00:20:28:22 - 00:20:30:15
Unknown
Thanks. And I'll see you guys soon.